Sunny Side Up
by WastelandRose
Summary: "To thievery and mayhem!" Sirius giggled, adding his goblet to the toast with a joyous clink, "To marauding, pestering, pranking, and other unacceptable behaviors!" Mina grinned, cackled, "To Hogwarts! If it's still standing when we're through!" Sirius/OC
1. A Toast

Part 1 - A Toast

People never guessed that Remus was actually the older twin. And why would they? Mina did most of the talking, was taller, had the healthier coloring. She looked out for her sickly brother, protected him. She always had, except for that one time when she didn't...

"Mina," Remus said, his amber eyes wide and his gaunt face unusually pale. He always got pale when he was scared, and the thin, almost imperceptible scars across his right cheek always stood out most when he got pale.

Mina _hated_ those scars.

"Don't worry," the slim eleven-year-old soothed as she hefted her trunk and then her twin's up onto the Hogwarts Express, "It's going to be fine. I won't leave you."

Nodding, practically shivering in baggy new muggle clothes (the first they'd been allowed in what seemed like forever), Remus took his sister's hand and let himself be pulled onto the train. He wasn't good in crowds, immediately grabbed a fistful of Mina's t-shirt and pressed himself close against her back as she navigated through the throngs of shouting, laughing, bustling students.

Well, _navigated_ may not be the right word: Mina shoved, crashing her trunk into people and objects when they didn't move out of the way fast enough, snarling, "Make a path, dung-brains!"

Amidst snide comments and dark looks, the Lupins got their own compartment (finally), and Remus flopped limply onto the plush bench seat. He was still shaky and white, his sandy fringe (not quite brown, not quite blonde, just like Mina's own) damp with fear-sweat.

Abandoning their trunks in the doorway, Mina sat beside him, threw both arms around her big brother and squeezed tight. "I'm not leaving you," the girl insisted once more, "And I won't let anybody be mean. So, relax, ok? You want to play cards?"

"Chess," Remus answered, cracking a ghostly smirk at his sister's answering groan.

"I hate chess," she grumbled, even as she moved away and began digging their battered old muggle set out of Remus's trunk.

Seconds later, a reedy black-haired boy threw open the door and came rushing in, tripped spectacularly over both trunks and his own too-big feet, flailed wildly, and crashed directly onto Mina.

"Wanker!" she shouted, lashing out without a second thought, rolling the boy under her and punching him in the face. His thick glasses shattered with a satisfying _crunch_.

"OW!" he crowed, punching back blindly, "Get off, you crazy bastard!"

Mina felt her lip split, the taste of hot iron filling her mouth as she and the boy grappled across the floor of the compartment. She was slightly smaller, but he couldn't see; the match was an even one.

"Mina, it was an accident," Remus observed, almost too quiet to be heard except that his sister always listened for his voice more than any other sound.

She stopped punching but stayed straddling the boy, pinning his hands under her knees and watching the blood from his puffy nose leak back toward his big goofy ears and unruly black hair. Her whole face throbbed and stung. She scowled and declared, "Watch where you're going next time." She was back next to her brother, letting him fuss over her bloody lip and swelling eye before the black-haired boy even managed to struggle into a sitting position.

He blinked stupidly around the compartment, hazel eyes bright but clearly useless. His hair was on end. His left cheekbone was already starting to bruise. "Where are my glasses?" he asked helplessly.

Remus, feeling the guilt and sympathy his twin wasn't, stood and retrieved the smashed bits. "They're broken," he reported, kneeling. His sad, timid voice (not the gory mess on the floor) made his sister's heart hurt.

A tall, good-looking blonde teen appeared in their doorway, where Mina noticed a small, frightened audience had also formed. The blonde teen was broad, had short hair and freckles and a badge pinned to his chest. "Merlin's sakes," he grumbled, swooping in to start repairing and healing as best he could (no more blood, at least, and the pain was dulled, but Mina could tell she'd have a black eye to match the one she'd given to the black-haired boy). "We haven't even left the station yet," the blonde teen nagged, "I thought I'd be keeping first-years from wetting themselves, not killing each other."

As soon as the black-haired boy had his glasses back on, he turned to glare at Mina. The glare morphed very quickly into a stare of stunned disbelief. "You're a _girl_?" the boy demanded.

"Last time I checked," Mina snapped in reply, snobbishly flipping short, sandy hair away from her face. She was pleased that the tidy job her grandmother had made of the choppy locks before they left the house that morning had already been obliterated into a more typical didn't-brush-it-and-don't-plan-to-ever style.

"Look," the blonde teen stated with an exasperated sigh, "You can't fight on the train, but I'd rather not have to give out detentions already. I haven't even had my first prefect meeting yet. So why don't you two just shake hands and make nice, and we can all be on our way."

Mina and the black-haired boy glared at each other.

But then Remus nudged his sister, tugged on her pant leg and whispered, "Please, Mina."

She chanced a glance down at his face and saw that he was pale again, shaking a little; Mina knew that he wanted the crowd gone, wanted her to make them go away.

"Sorry," Mina announced flatly, holding out a dainty hand; there was nothing she wouldn't do for Remus, and that included apologizing even when she didn't think she should have to.

The black-haired boy gave her another look of disbelief, big insect eyes darting momentarily back to the prefect before he reached out for the truce.

"FRANK!" someone called, loud laugh booming down the hallway, "Get your big butt over here already!"

In a hurry to be gone, the blonde prefect Frank said, "Alright then. Stay out of trouble. If I catch wind of you two fighting again, you'll be scrubbing bedpans until Christmas." He turned and left, shooing away the gathered crowd and closing the compartment door.

Remus gave a relieved sigh, sagging back against the far wall.

The black-haired boy also stayed on the floor. He looked puzzled.

"Why are you still here?" Mina demanded.

"Trying to figure out how I got beat up by a girl," the black-haired boy replied, laughing bitterly to himself. Vaguely impressed, he added, "You punch pretty hard."

"Thanks," Mina said, "You weren't half bad. I'm sure you would've stood more of a chance if you weren't blind as a bat."

Giving a quirky smile, the black-haired boy announced, "It is too bad about that... I'm James, by the way. James Potter."

"Mina Lupin," the petite girl answered, "And that's my brother, Remus."

Remus grinned shyly, still slumped on floor against the far wall.

The compartment banged open. Another black-haired boy stood in the doorway. He was handsomer than James, features hard and sharp and dangerous where James's were soft and round and cute (almost pretty); the new boy's black locks were longer, shaggy but sleek, skimming his slight shoulders and framing his haughty face. His smile was just slightly cruel, probably without the boy even meaning it to be; Mina had the same problem with her own smile sometimes, or at least that's what her brother told her.

"Are you the ones who were fighting?" the new boy asked cheerfully.

"Ya," James answered.

"Wicked," the new boy declared, hopping over the trunks and throwing himself down onto the open bench, "Who won?" He was looking between James and Remus.

"I did," Mina declared pointedly.

The new boy did a double-take, his smile fading for a moment and then blooming bright like Christmas morning. "Even better!" he cackled, expensive black robes completely at odds with his childish presence, too old and stodgy for such a clearly vivacious personality, "And what would the lovely champion's lovely name be?"

Arching a thin eyebrow, the girl challenged, "And who, exactly, wants to know?"

"Sirius Orion Black," the new boy stated, sweeping into a flourished but seated bow. When he glanced up again, he beamed across at Mina and added, "At your service, m'lady."

Unimpressed, the girl answered, "Even if I were a lady, I certainly wouldn't be _your _lady. Now piss off."

"Oh come on," Sirius pleaded, plump bottom lip poking out theatrically, "You're by _far_ the most interesting other first-years I've met. And I've been introducing myself around for almost an hour trying to find people worthy of my presence. Don't send me away. I'll be _bored_. And _lonely_."

"Have a heart," James piped up, flashing a syrupy sweet grin, "I think we should keep him. Like adopting a stray puppy, you know?"

"What are we? Forming a gang?" Mina challenged, getting frustrated and angry (as was her tendency), "Both of you can piss off!"

"Mina," Remus murmured, calming his sister in an instant, gazing up at her with big, desperate eyes.

All Remus ever wanted was to be liked, to have friends.

And all Mina ever wanted was for Remus to be happy.

"Fine," she grumbled, huffing and folding her thin arms across her thin chest, "I'm Mina Lupin. That's my brother Remus. This sod right here is James Potter, but I don't know him except for the fact that he bleeds easy and can't tell bloke from bird without his glasses."

"Good to know," Sirius laughed, enthusiastically shaking hands with James and then Remus, who seemed stunned by the gesture. "So," Sirius eventually chirped, "Mina, huh? Is that perhaps short for Wilhelmina?"

"Romina," she quipped.

Nodding, smirking in a way he probably thought was charming, Sirius said, "Ah. Enchanting. Can I call you Romy?"

She saw Remus flinch slightly, getting ready to call his sister off again. But Mina contained herself (she did have _some_ restraint) and hissed, "Not if you want to keep all ten of your fingers attached."

"Well, eight fingers and two thumbs," Sirius corrected, wiggling the digits dangerously close to Mina's face, "But I am quite fond of the whole set. We've had some good times together. Just this morning we had ourselves a private party in the downstairs loo. There was cake and streamers, and my mum walked in and looked very disturbed. We enjoy disturbing her."

The train lurched to life, and, almost immediately, the compartment door opened once more to yet another black-haired boy. This one was also thin but in a rather emaciated way. His skin was waxy and yellowy (almost jaundiced), his hair oily and stringy. And he had dead black eyes and a nose like a great beak.

Beside him was a redheaded girl. She had vibrant green eyes and perfect freckled skin and was very pretty, soft and naturally alluring.

Mina instantly disliked her.

"Can we sit here?" the redheaded girl inquired very sweetly.

"Sure," Mina bit back, probably nastier than was strictly necessary, "But you have to fight me first."

The redheaded girl scowled, face still pretty even when contorted with anger and annoyance. She countered, "What? That's ridiculous. We're not going to fight you."

"But that's the rule," Mina insisted, pointing toward James and his very convincing bruises, "Just ask this dope. I cleaned his clock not quite ten minutes past, but it earned him a nice spot at my feet."

"S'true," James contributed, playing along with an exaggerated sigh, "Mina's the undefeated champ of this compartment and, therefore, our beloved queen. Her word is law."

Both James and Sirius threw themselves down and began bowing and worshipping, chanting, "We're not worthy. We're not worthy."

Her elegant nose wrinkled in disgust, the redheaded girl grabbed the greasy black-haired boy and dragged him away. "Come on, Sev," Mina heard her say, "We'll find somewhere a little more _sane_ to sit."

As soon as the stuffy redhead and her waxy companion were gone, everyone laughed. Everyone. Even Remus.

Mina didn't like people as a general rule, but if James and Sirius could keep making her brother laugh like that, then they were all going to get along just fine.

xxXxx

James played chess, which was great because it meant that Mina didn't have to. She was instead free to produce a lunch feast from her trunk.

"Grandmother is going to be mad," Remus remarked softly as he watched her pulling out the entire previous contents of their home's icebox.

"So what?" Mina answered, chuckling at the elated face Sirius made when she handed him a carton of mostly melted chocolate ice cream, "It's not like the old bat can actually do anything anymore. We won't see her again until Christmas, and I'm sure she'll have forgotten by then, _if_ she lives that long. Besides, it's her own fault. She wouldn't give us any money to buy lunch. What'd she expect us to do? Starve?"

"She packed us sandwiches," Remus defended, rolling his eyes.

"When?" Mina demanded.

"When you were fiddling around upstairs," her brother replied, "She put them with my things."

Shrugging, the girl said, "Well, knowing that would've saved me a lot of effort." She took out a delicate, very expensive set of china plates, crystal goblets, and polished silverware. "I guess I'll send these back to her when we get to school," the girl mused. She unfurled a white linen table cloth and, after fetching the sandwiches, spread it out over Remus's trunk. The silver candlesticks went in the center and were lit with a flourish.

"Genius," Sirius laughed, taking the dishes and preparing four perfect place settings with ease that seemed automatic. "I nicked my mum's whole jewelry box," the shaggy boy declared, winking cockily at Mina, "Great minds, eh? You guys want to wear her stuff while we feast?"

"YES!" James cried, kind of absurdly and inappropriately excited.

Leaping to his feet, Sirius declared, "Never fear! I shall return! With sparkly stolen things! AWAY!" He dove out through the doorway.

They all giggled, even Remus.

While Sirius was gone, Mina doled out ham and cheese sandwiches, cold lasagna, and melty chocolate ice cream. And that was just the first course.

Sirius returned with a large, ornate silver box and a small, pudgy, pasty, nervous boy whose knees gave out just as soon as he got within falling distance of the open bench seat. The new boy seemed to have no color, his thin blonde hair and clammy white skin and small, watery blue eyes almost opaque. He wheezed instead of breathed through a nose that was far too pointy, and he smelled faintly of old B.O. Mina felt like she needed to wash just from being in the same room as him.

"This is Peter," Sirius announced brightly, "I rescued him from a pack of my evil relatives. Can we keep him?"

"I don't know," Mina murmured, speculative, "What's he bringing to the party? I mean, Remus and I shared a womb, James takes my punches like a pro, and you're providing sparkly stolen things. Aside from an offensive odor, what does Peter add to the equation?"

The small boy squeaked a bit, seemingly in an attempt at speech, but Sirius quickly cut him off. "Peter makes us five," Sirius insisted, "Five is my lucky number."

Mina countered, "I _could_ care less, but only if it were actually worth the effort to try."

Sirius remained thoughtful for a few moments before declaring, "Oh! I know! I saved his life, so he probably owes me a debt or something."

"Handy for you maybe," Mina argued brattily, "But I'm not feeding him without knowing how he enhances _my_ existence."

"Well," Sirius said with a slight grin, "He's very slow. So if you ever have to outrun something, it'll be a lot easier to do. Because you won't have to run faster than the thing that's chasing you. You'll only have to run faster than Peter."

Mina was very familiar with the principle. She glanced quickly between her brother and the pudgy boy; she decided that, yes, Remus would probably be able to outrun Peter in a pinch. "Ok," she agreed, loading up a plate for their newest addition.

"He got more," Sirius pouted, jealously eyeing Peter's massive portion.

With a shrug, Mina explained, "If he's going to be the designated slow kid, he might as well be the slowest slow kid he can be. Now, are you going to start passing out sparkly things, or do I have to take your lunch back?"

"Bossy," Sirius complained, snapping open the jewelry box and selecting a diamond and topaz encrusted bangle, a gaudy, square emerald ring, and a delicately beaded black and green choker.

Mina snagged a pair of diamond earrings that looked like chandeliers and dangled past her slight shoulders; she got three ruby rings and a ruby amulet and a handful of gold bracelets that slid past her elbows, clanging merrily every time she moved. The girl draped her brother in sapphires and amethysts and pearls, settled a silver tiara atop his head before passing the collection along to James.

Going around their makeshift table like that, it took them awhile to empty to the magically-expanded box. By the end, everyone had a ring or two on every finger (and a few even on Sirius's toes). They all wore bracelets stacked along their arms and almost a dozen necklaces a piece. James wore a delicate gold circlet around his head, and Peter's dingy t-shirt was covered in ugly, mismatched brooches.

When all they had left were earrings, Sirius complained about not being able to use up all the jewelry. Mina offered to pierce everyone's ears for them, but only Sirius accepted. He was cheerful and excited up until the girl shoved a blunt ruby stud through his right earlobe. The black-haired boy howled and bled and had to be held down for the same treatment on his left side.

Apparently attracted by the screams of pain, Frank returned shortly after Sirius was through being pierced. The blonde prefect stood in the doorway, seeming dumbfounded and disbelieving, like he couldn't possibly be seeing what he was seeing: five first-years covered in elegant, expensive jewelry and crowded around an improvised table that had been set for some kind of gala feast that consisted of cold leftovers; the boy in the ruby earrings was dripping blood from his earlobes onto his shoulders.

"What..." Frank began, seeming to lose steam and words entirely for a few moments. Finally, he just shook his head and walked away, making sure to close the door lest the insanity spread.

"I propose a toast," James piped up, raising his crystal goblet into the air, grinning madly beneath a crust of priceless stolen gems and metals. "To us," the boy declared, "Easily the oddest people on this train. May we never change."

"To thievery and general mayhem!" Sirius giggled, adding his own goblet to the toast with a joyous clink, "To marauding, pestering, pranking, and other socially unacceptable behaviors!"

"To new friends," Remus contributed shyly, holding up his own drink and smiling in genuine happiness as Peter and then Mina did the same, "Who take you as you are, socially unacceptable behaviors and all."

Mina grinned, cackled, "To Hogwarts! If it's still standing when we're through!"

xxxxxxxxxx

Nobody kill me for posting another story. I can't be held responsible for the strange places to which my unique mind sometimes wanders. I do have a couple chapters written already so updates should be fairly regular. Reviews are love and might be able to persuade me to update faster :)


	2. Manky Ancient Headwear

Part 2 - Manky Ancient Headwear

The Sorting Hat was taking a long time with Remus. Mina couldn't see his face but hoped he was holding up alright (not getting too nervous in front of the crowd). Other than that, she wasn't worried; she'd be going into whatever house her brother did, and no manky piece of ancient headwear was going to tell her otherwise.

She glanced over at the Gryffindor table, where Black, Sirius, one of the first to be sorted, was still looking kind of stunned. The boy had confessed during the boat ride that he would probably be in Slytherin; he made Mina and all the rest pinky-swear (a very silly muggle gesture she wouldn't have expected the pure-blood to know) that they would still be friends with him even if he did get stuck in the most cunning (ie: sneaky and evil) of the houses. Mina had done so gladly, remarking that real friends will stick by you no matter what. Remus had given her and Sirius alternately fond and hopeful smiles.

"GRYFFINDOR!" the Sorting Hat finally shouted, sending Remus scurrying off to sit beside Sirius at the front end of the far left table. Both boys seemed relieved and greeted each other with tentative grins. Sirius made a quiet comment that had Remus blushing and giggling, waving down at Mina to show that he was alright.

"Lupin, Romina," the middle-aged witch (Mina couldn't remember her name; McSomething...) announced stiffly, glancing up briefly from the roll scroll to make sure the girl in question had stepped forward.

Mina had, walking purposefully, her head held high. When she got to the stool at the front of the room, she stopped, stared down the ugly cap and hissed, "Listen, if you know what's good for you, you'll put me with my brother." Before the Hat could argue, the girl stuffed it down over her head. She didn't anticipate her sorting taking very long at all and thought that sitting would've been quite unnecessary, so she didn't do it.

"_You might want to take a seat, dear_," a crackly old voice remarked inside her head, "_It's been awhile since I've been threatened, and I always like to pay special attention to such cases. They can do a lot of damage in the wrong houses._"

"I don't care," Mina whispered, stubbornly refusing to sit, "I'm a Gryffindor. Put me with Remus."

"_Your brother was an interesting one_," the Hat stated, "_Such a tragic turn for his life at such a young age. The lycanthropy, of course. And the unpleasantness with your mother... But he's stronger than you give him credit for. Much stronger. You'd do well not to coddle him so much. Let him stretch his wings, as the saying goes, or he'll never learn to stand up for himself._"

"Shut up and put me in Gryffindor," Mina insisted, getting frustrated fast.

There was a gusty noise inside her head, a sort of sigh that made the girl's brain seem to vibrate ticklishly. "_Not a Ravenclaw, that's for sure_," the Hat observed, "_You're far too stubborn, too single-minded. The wit is certainly there, but a good scholar must be adaptable, must be willing to hear arguments that are not her own, to seek knowledge that will challenge her views_."

"One down," Mina murmured, rolling her dark, murky blue eyes, "Hurry up already. I'm hungry."

The Hat tutted and tsked, relating, "_Could be a decent Hufflepuff. Loyal to a fault, you are... but I suppose that's only really to your brother, in the end. You'd throw anyone else under the train in a heartbeat. And you do have a problem with following rules_."

"Only the stupid ones," Mina said. She lazily examined her cracked nail beds, her back to the confused and curious murmurs from the rest of the Hall.

"_Don't sass_," the Hat scolded. It paused for a beat, then sounded rather sad as it observed, "_Oh, dear, you don't really blame yourself for that, do you? You were just as small as he was. There was nothing you could've done even if you had gotten there in time_."

The memory of a moonlit night flashed through Mina's thoughts, her brother's scream just as clear and sharp and horrifying even almost seven years later. His blood still slick and hot between her fingers as she tried desperately to hold it inside his little body...

A violent shudder drew her out of the reverie, and the girl replaced fear and guilt and regret with anger. Massive amounts of vicious anger. She considered ripping the Hat off her head and dropkicking it as far as the foul thing would go. Setting it on fire with the lighter she had tucked conveniently into the right pocket of her rather drab uniform skirt.

"_There's no need for that_," the Hat commented shakily, apparently a bit disturbed by seeing Mina's preferred form of vengeance, by seeing that she was more than capable of following through with it. With a nervous chuckle, the Hat went on, "_You really aren't one for subtlety or finesse, are you? Hmm... no, that just won't do in Slytherin. They tend to value their restraint, to put their cunning minds toward self-serving manipulation... you don't have a selfish bone in your whole body. And you'd never choose manipulation over brute force... Quite straightforward, unabashed and uncompromising in your pushy, demanding way. Almost entirely without fear, so certainly the daring and nerve are there in excessive proportions... proportions that are going to get you into a lot of trouble someday, I'd say... Well, I hate to admit it, girl, but-_"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Mina spiked the Hat down rather roughly, not feeling bad at all when it toppled off the stool with a squealed curse. The applause from her new housemates turned into a general gasp of disbelief.

Smug and yet still angry, Mina took her rightful seat beside her bemused brother. She took Remus's left hand in her right, held it under the table for the remainder of the sorting.

xxXxx

They were all Gryffindors in the end, even Peter; Mina kind of wanted that decision reviewed (she'd figured him for a Hufflepuff), but apparently there were no do-overs. They sat together, ate together, by the close of the feast had already been told off together for their rowdy behavior. But that was James's fault, Mina maintained, him and his cutlery walrus teeth and his booming, obnoxious laughs.

When the time came for the fifth-year prefects to lead them to the common room, the five were the last to join the Gryffindor party (having lingered over a very tasty and extensive desert that was still lingering on Peter's pudgy chin). The Great Hall was nearly empty, and the blonde prefect from the train, Frank, looked like he might need a good stiff drink.

"I have rotten luck," he declared.

"They're just first-years," said the female prefect, a short, bored-looking girl with an ebony braid that hung nearly all the way to her trim waist. She gave them all a wary glance, perfectly manicured fingers clutching tight to Frank's solid arm as she ventured, "How bad could they be?"

Frank shook his head, edging toward hysterical as he insisted, "Just look into their _eyes_, Marlene! They're _demon spawn_!"

"That's a terrible thing to say about my mother," Sirius piped up, flashing a decidedly evil grin, "Terribly accurate. Most people take a lot longer to figure it out. You must have the Sight."

"Oh!" James shouted giddily, jumping up and down, flailing his arm about in the air, "Do me next! I want to know who I'll marry!"

"Your right hand, if you're lucky," Mina quipped. She was staring down the other four Gryffindors, all of them girls, one of whom was the sickeningly sweet redhead from the train. Mina didn't know any of their names though; she hadn't been paying any attention during the sorting and hadn't cared to talk to any of them during the feast.

Frank heaved a heavy sigh, turning away from the group with Marlene in tow and announcing, "Just come on. Let's get this over with."

They walked a few paces, almost but not quite out of the room before James asked, "So what's the school policy on quidditch games in the hallways between classes? Do we have to post a sign-up sheet, or do you think people will just join on their own?"

xxXxx

Breakfast the next morning was loud. Mina had a headache and would've already fled for somewhere quieter to recover if it hadn't been for Remus; she didn't want to leave her brother, but she also didn't want to tell him that she wasn't feeling well. He would've known the reason: that she hadn't slept a wink for the last two nights.

"How're the roommates?" James asked, tiredly stuffing a forkful of scrambled eggs into his yawning mouth and nearly gagging himself in the process.

Mina shrugged, glaring down the table a ways at the four other Gryffindor first-years. "The chubby one cried for nearly an hour," she remarked absently, "No idea what set her off, but the ginger one and the ugly one kept insisting it was my fault. Ugly snores like a Horntail, and Ginger talks in her sleep. The blonde one, uh, Dorky Fields-"

"Dorcas Meadowes," Remus corrected softly, his nose already buried in one of their new textbooks.

"Whatever," Mina said, "She seems alright. For a Cannons fan, anyways... how'd you lot fair left to your own devices?"

"We invented a new use for Exploding Snap cards," James reported, elbowing Sirius, who was asleep in his pancakes and started upright with syrup dribbling off his cheek. "Tested it on Frank," James went on, waving merrily to the prefect who no longer had any eyebrows or hair on the back of his head.

The blonde teenager shuddered and abandoned his breakfast, fleeing in obvious terror.

"On a related note," James added with a sleepy grin, "We all have detention tomorrow night with the groundskeeper."

"Be there or be square," Sirius teased, trying half-heartedly and unsuccessfully to lick syrup off his own cheek, "I can't believe they think sending us into the Forbidden Forest is a punishment! I've been wanting to go in ever since I heard it was off-limits!"

"That explains the negative House points," Mina yawned, losing her appetite and dumping all the rest of her food onto Peter's plate. Trying to knead her temples without Remus noticing, the girl declared, "But at least thinking of a way to get myself a detention will keep me occupied during class... hey, I bet what I do to Frank'll be loads better than your thing."

Suddenly a lot more awake and interested, Sirius declared, "I'll put a frog on that. There were four of us and only one of you. Our spectacle's going to have yours beat in sheer numbers."

"Please," Mina scoffed, "Remus and Peter were probably just bystanders caught in the wake. And I'm tons meaner than you and James put together. I'll win on the lasting emotional scars alone. Frank'll probably need therapy."

"You are so on," James declared. He got a thoughtful look on his face, adding, "We'll need a judge." The boy glanced up and down the table before finally shouting, "OI! EVANS!"

xxXxx

The night of their detention, Mina caught Remus staring up through the trees at the waxing crescent moon. She offered her brother the chocolate frog she'd won off James (Sirius having demanded another round, double or nothing, to commence upon the 'morrow).

"I'm fine, Mina," Remus insisted, though he still took the chocolate; Remus would never turn down chocolate. "Really," the scrawny boy murmured. He chewed completely and swallowed politely before adding, "Things are working out a lot better than I thought they would... it's been fun, right?"

"A lot more than I expected," she chuckled. Side-by-side, in the dark, the twins' differences were made less and less noticeable, until the pair could've been identical. Mina kind of liked the idea, but, at the same time, it depressed her; she knew that she and Remus weren't very much alike at all. He's always been the good twin.

"Lupins!" Sirius shouted excitedly from somewhere off to the right, "Get over here! James is poking a bloody great big giant spider! You're going to miss him getting his arse bit!"

xxXxx

The first weeks flew by like nothing. And, with Mina quickly earning herself a reputation as The Girl Who Shouldn't Be Messed With, she was having a pretty great time. She genuinely liked her new friends, surprisingly even Peter, who thought everything she did was absolutely brilliant and always carried chocolate and (unlike Remus) could be persuaded to part with it with little effort.

James and Sirius should've been born brothers, should've been born twins. They were goofy and quirky and fun. James was pretty much always happy and bubbly, even at inappropriate times (such as when they were being scolded for stealing the cushy chairs from the staff table in the Great Hall).

Being a generally grouchy person herself, Mina thought that James's perpetual cheerfulness did get annoying at times. It was a good thing that Sirius's moods were far more mercurial; Mina had never before had someone to participate in her own foul tempers, someone with whom to shout and throw things, to curse the world. Ever since Sirius received his first Howler (a laughable, almost incoherent diatribe about ancestors and purity) and the boy responded by setting fire to the Slytherin house banner, he'd been quite regularly bouncing between being stuck to either James or Mina, depending on whether or not he wanted to cause a little chaos or a lot of property damage (and maybe a few emotional scars). He was also already a hound, flirting shamelessly with almost anything in a skirt. The funny part was that most of the skirts were absolutely smitten with the boy; Mina didn't get how any self-respecting female could fall for any of his lines, but, then again, she had just as little respect for her own gender as she had for her brother's; people in general, she knew, were (at best) quite stupid.

The moon snuck up on her. It wasn't like she wasn't paying attention as Remus's health gradually went through its usual monthly spiral, but the morning when he would actually be leaving still hit Mina like a bludger to the face. She hadn't slept for the past three nights, and she couldn't eat at breakfast, wasn't interested in even watching as James and Sirius collected bets and entry fees for a chocolate frog race they were organizing to take place that night in the dungeons.

"Don't worry, Mina," Remus told her outside the Hospital Wing. He offered a pale, weary smile and added, "I'm going to be fine. Just don't get in too much trouble while I'm gone. And try to sleep, ok?"

A hot lump of guilt and fear and fury stuck hard in her throat. She managed a nod, grabbing her brother in a desperate hug, barely holding back tears.

She wouldn't have gone to class except for wanting to take notes for Remus, but she found even that kind of difficult. History was a total bore, and she wasn't in the mood to participate in James and Sirius's usual antics of braiding girls' hair together while they slept. Even flicking bits of parchment at the back of Peter's head held no attraction.

Potions was a lab day. Slughorn decided to be a complete prick and assign partners. James got Mina's obnoxious redheaded roommate Lily Evans and didn't even seem upset by the turn of events, the jolly, traitorous bastard. Sirius got a tall, blonde Slytherin girl and immediately began to flirt. Peter got yet another tall, blonde Slytherin girl and couldn't stop stuttering and dropping things.

Mina got the black-haired boy from the train, the one with the sallow skin and corpse-like black eyes and great beak nose. She was fine with that; he didn't seem keen on making conversation, instead glaring daggers at James and the bossy ginger swot. And he brewed a flawless potion pretty much all on his own, for which Mina got to share credit. Remus was going to shit kittens when he found out that she'd gotten a perfect mark.

Remus. She couldn't stop thinking about Remus. And she was so scared and so tired. And she just wanted her brother.

Shifting carelessly, she knocked over a container full of smelly pink flakes. They fell onto the black-haired boy's open book, and he immediately snatched the text away, hissing, "Watch it, you clumsy oaf!"

"The _fuck_ did you just say to me?" Mina snarled in reply, on her feet in an instant and delivering a nice shove to the boy's wimpy, bird-like chest, successfully knocking the him off his stool but, unfortunately, not onto his bony arse.

He staggered back a few steps, looking stunned and irate. Looking around for the conveniently absent teacher.

"Don't touch him!" the Lily Evans shrieked, rushing over to situate herself between Mina and her lab partner.

"Stay out of this," Mina hissed, "Unless you want that pretty face rearranged."

Within seconds, James and Sirius were behind Mina, backing her up (she thought).

"What is your problem?" the bossy swot challenged, hands on hips in full-on bitch mode. Her green eyes blazing fiercely.

Well, good. Mina had been wanting to kick her arse since the train, and having to share a dorm with the uptight cow certainly hadn't helped matters. If she had to listen to one more self-righteous lecture about dirty laundry left on the floor...

"My problem," Mina stated pointedly, advancing on the redhead, "Is you and your pet snake. If you're not going to teach it manners, then move your arse and I'll be more than happy to."

"Sev hasn't done anything to you!" the swot declared, getting all high-pitched and even more obnoxious, "And neither has anyone else, for that matter! You don't have to be so mean all the time!"

Gritting her teeth, Mina replied, "Is that so, ginger-nut?" She clutched her chest suddenly, yowling theatrically and shouting, "Oh! Oh! My heart! It's- It's growing! Three whole sizes this day!"

The half-bloods and muggle-borns outted themselves by giggling at the Grinch reference, but they were the minority. Everyone else just looked puzzled. The swot, being muggle-born, seemed to get the joke. She, however, was not amused at all. Her face flushed angrily, her lips pursed, and her eyes narrowed. Only a few tense moments later, those eyes darted to the side. "Professor!" the girl cried out, "Could you please tell Lupin to behave herself? Or at least to refrain from accosting her fellow students?"

"You little _bitch_," Mina growled, cocking her arm back to punch the redhead right in her sweet freckly face.

Only James and Sirius caught Mina instantly by either elbow, holding her back. She was not happy about being denied her brawl and shrieked, "GET THE BLOODY HELL OFF ME!"

"Miss Lupin!" Slughorn bellowed, all blustery and sweaty and fat. It was a wonder he could talk at all around that _asinine_ moustache! "Twenty points from Gryffindor. And in the future, you will control your outbursts or you will not be welcome in my classroom."

"FINE!" Mina shouted, fighting free from her two friends, not sparing either a glance as she stalked out of the dungeon.

xxXxx

James, Sirius, and Peter didn't find her until later that night, finally getting a lead on her location from a third-year Hufflepuff that Mina had reduced to tears with a just a few barbed words. The boys hung back cautiously for a few moments before settling themselves down on either side of their friend.

Mina did not acknowledge them, dangling her legs off the edge of the Astronomy Tower and gazing across at the hated moon as it began to appear above the horizon. She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to feel what Remus was feeling, tried to get the twin telepathy they'd never had to choose that moment to kick in so that she could share her brother's pain. Take it upon herself, where it belonged anyway. She was the fuckup twin, the bad one. Always had been. She should've been bitten and cursed. Not Remus. It wasn't fair.

Never one to tolerate lengthy silences, James was the first to speak. "You know," he remarked, "Remus warned us that you might be in a mood."

Mina said nothing.

"He asked us to look after you," James continued lightly, "He was really worried that you wouldn't handle him having to go to the hospital very well... guess he was right, eh?"

Again, Mina said nothing. They didn't know the whole story, only the lie that had been concocted to cover the monthly disappearances: that Remus's fragile health required frequent visits to St. Mungo's for treatment. Her new friends would probably hate both of them if they knew the truth, and she hated them all a little bit for that.

Well, more than a little bit, but the feeling was still just a drop in the bucket compared to the seemingly unending well of rage she'd always had inside her, the murderous yin to her brother's compassionate yang.

"But he's going to be fine," James insisted, all bright and cheery, and Mina just wanted to throw him off the tower, "Remus said it's nothing serious. And you should be used to it by now, right? I mean, he said he's been sick since he was little."

"Potter," Mina finally grumbled, "_Shut up_."

She could practically hear his pout, could feel him fidgeting on her right as he, no doubt, pushed his glasses up his nose and ruffled his messy hair. "I'm only trying to help," he murmured, slinging an arm around her shoulders and giving her a light squeeze, "What's going to make you feel better?"

Mina wanted to say _a cure_. Instead, she said, "Being alone."

"Oh." She could tell that James was a little hurt by the statement but couldn't find the energy to care. In fact, she was just relieved when James and Peter left without further comment.

For some reason, Sirius stayed, scooted in close until their shoulders were brushing. He didn't try to talk to her, but, after about half an hour, he cautiously took her hand.

And, for some reason, that was ok with Mina. She rested her head on his shoulder. Together, they remained until dawn.

xxXxx

With Remus's return, Mina's mood lightened considerably. She fussed over her brother for a few days and quite enjoyed playing a prank on the Slytherin quidditch team just before their first match. They all looked really funny with red and gold hair, and the Gryffindor quidditch players were more than appreciative. Even Frank. It was the first time he'd laughed at any of their assorted tomfoolery.

About a week after the moon, Mina was searching underneath her bed for her Herbology textbook (having flung it away in a huff the night before) when she became aware of someone standing over her. That someone, Mina discovered after emerging still without the book, was Lily Evans.

"What do you want?" Mina demanded unhappily, already missing the unspoken stay-out-of-my-way-I'll-stay-out-of-yours policy that both girls had adopted since the incident in Potions.

Evans had this weird look on her face, kind of soft and pitying but like she still had a sour taste in her mouth. "I-" she said, folding her arms defensively across her chest, "I talked to Remus today... he told me about being sick... I didn't know before."

"And?" Mina challenged, not liking where the conversation was headed.

"And I can understand why you'd be angry," Evans went on, biting her lip, "If you ever want to talk about it-"

"I don't," Mina cut her off. She glared for a few moments, absolutely seething, then added, "And stop trying to make this about my issues. It was a bad day, but that doesn't change the fact that your greasy little pet started the fight in Potions."

Frowning, Evans insisted, "Sev wouldn't do something like that. He told me it was just a misunderstanding."

"Because _watch it, you clumsy oaf_ is real easy to misunderstand," Mina hissed, "I may be mean, but at least I'm mean to everyone, not just to the people I think don't matter. And at least I'm not a _coward _or a _liar_." Well, that wasn't entirely true; Mina was a liar but only about one subject, and she felt more than justified in doing anything and everything to keep her brother's secret.

Lily's face was growing scarlet like her hair. "You are impossible!" the girl crowed with a peevish little foot stomp, "I'm trying to be friendly, and you can't even manage not to throw it back in my face!"

With a wicked smirk, Mina replied, "I don't need to be friends with a bossy, stuck-up, do-gooder tattletale. Ditch the stalker and grow a new personality, or don't bother talking to me!"

xxXxx

At dinner, James made the announcement: he was head-over-heels in love with Lily Evans and would someday have her babies.

Had James not been standing on the table and well out of reach at the time, Mina probably would've broken his jaw.

Of course, after the bossy swot herself shrieked, "Over my dead body!" and hit the boy with a hex that made his hair grow long and turn on its owner, Mina actually, grudgingly gained a tiny modicum of respect for Lily Evans. Even though she was still a bossy tattletale.

xxxxxxxxxx

Wooo. Chapter two. Hopefully I've explained or at least hinted at more about the characters and their momentous future. Show your love in the form of hot, steamy reviews... or, you know, nice polite vanilla ones. Whatever floats your canoe :)


	3. For the Record

Part 3 - For the Record

Mina set the record in third year, just after Halloween. She'd had problems with sleep all her life and usually only managed to get a few hours every few days. But she'd learned to live with her insomnia, even if Remus didn't like it at all and still took every opportunity to nag.

It wasn't like she meant to do it. And it wasn't like she didn't get tired. But, unless she was bloody exhausted and just about dead on her feet, the girl could never seem to make her brain click off. There was too much to think about, worry about. Feel guilty about.

But the affliction had never been as terrible as it got in third year, just after Halloween. She'd been stressed, but no more than normal. Academics weren't a problem; with all the extra time she stayed awake and alone, the girl always had her homework and reading done weeks in advance. And even the classes she wasn't very good at (Potions, History, Astronomy) were simple enough to coast through with minimal effort and passing marks (especially since Ed Bones started letting her copy his Potions homework; twitchy little fellow was practically a godsend).

Her social life was the same as ever: the only people who interacted voluntarily were Remus and the boys, and that suited Mina just fine. She had never made it a secret that she held a general contempt for humanity as a whole and was quite pleased that that message was getting across loud and clear.

Even Remus wasn't the source of the problem. His last moon had been relatively tame. Sitting through it was as hard as ever, but her brother had come back entirely unscathed. Mina counted that a win, and her mood had been somewhat light.

It had been three days since she last slept when the girl finally tried to force herself to do so, got in bed and closed her eyes and waited for her fatigued body to succumb to the darkness.

Nothing happened. Not even after several hours. And then Mina not only hadn't gotten any sleep, but she was also frustrated. Annoyed. And she gave up for the time being, wandering down into the common room and tossing Exploding Snap cards into the fire until Frank Longbottom groggily stumbled downstairs to investigate the noise.

"Lupin," the seventh-year prefect croaked, his blonde hair a mess and his blue eyes barely even open, "It's four o'clock in the bloody morning. What're you doing?"

Mina shrugged. Her eyes ached. "Passing the time," she reported.

As usual when dealing with the girl and her band of delinquent friends, Frank was completely exasperated, scowling tiredly and warning, "Pass it quietly." Ever since first year, when they'd given him an ulcer and several bald spots, the young man had had very little patience for Mina and crew. He was one of their favorite targets, second only to Snivellus and just above the entirety of the Slytherin house. But despite the abuse, they all liked Frank; he was just so much fun to upset. And they were really going to miss him when he went off to the auror academy at the end of the year.

Mina shrugged and tossed the rest of the cards into the hearth, smiling gleefully at the triumphant _BANG_.

Then the silence rushed back in like a smothering weight.

xxXxx

Breakfast that morning was more of a chore than usual; Mina was too tired to even try to hide the fact that she was so tired.

Remus picked up on her exhaustion fairly easily and watched his sister like a hawk.

Which irritated her to no end. "Stop it," Mina snarled, picking half-heartedly at a piece of toast she couldn't find the nerve to try to eat, "I'm fine."

"You should get some sleep," Remus murmured, soft and kind as he laid a comforting hand on her back.

Too exhausted to conjure anymore anger, Mina bit back, "I've been trying, so just lay off."

Her brother was quiet, for a moment. He almost could've been watching the spectacle of James and Sirius's pancake-eating contest on the other side of the table. Except he wasn't. "What about the Sleeping Draught?" Remus suggested cautiously, obviously aware of what a bad idea it was, "I'm sure you could get Madame Mary to brew you some."

"How could you even ask that?" Mina hissed. How could he? How _dare _he?

But she still couldn't summon very much anger. She was so. damn. tired. And she just wanted to flop face first into the table and not surface for days. But, to escape her twin's well-meaning meddling, the girl forced herself to stand, swaying slightly and trying to cover the near faint by roughly grabbing her book bag. "I'm supposed to talk to Binns about my last assignment," she said, "I'm going to catch him before class."

They both know it was a lame excuse. Mina detested Binns and would've never actually sought him out if she hadn't needed the hasty exit.

xxXxx

Day five was a blur of blurry vision and aching muscles, of not being able to concentrate on anything long enough to comprehend was what going on around her. Mina had a headache that made her temples throb and her stomach roll. She couldn't stop the fine tremors racing through her thin frame. She avoided mirrors because the dark circles beneath her murky blue eyes only served to remind of the helpless, hopeless aggravation of insomnia. She had a vague memory of shrieking at some first-year until the kid actually peed himself and ran off sobbing.

Remus tried to put his foot down, confronting her in the common room after classes. Thankfully, the room was almost empty; unfortunately, Mina's twin had seen fit to involve their group of friends.

Well, James and Sirius would later insist, the other Marauders had actually noticed that something was wrong and had asked Remus about it (since Mina never did give straight answers (or any answers) about how she was feeling; her insomnia wasn't exactly a secret, but it also wasn't a subject about which she welcomed questions, comments, or concerns).

"You look bloody awful," James declared, fluffing his black hair as he rose from one of the couches.

"You're no prize yourself, Potter," Mina snapped, trying to shove by him and only bouncing pitifully off his chest. She couldn't even react in time to try to hold herself up.

Luckily, Sirius caught the girl with an arm under each of hers, settling her on her feet and very somberly observing, "That was just pathetic. You need some sleep." He wasn't joking, but he also wasn't brooding. He was just worried. About her. And it was weird. Was she really that bad off?

Shaking, Mina replied, "What I_ need_ is some new friends. Ones who aren't such nosy bastards."

"You know you love us," James laughed, ever the optimist.

Trying and failing to track the sound of his voice, Mina growled, "Remus loves you. I tolerate your presence." She realized that she was still leaning against Sirius and promptly shook herself free. Which she immediately regretted; he was so damn warm and steady, a rock to cling to in a turbulent sea.

She felt like she was drowning.

"That's not very nice," Sirius piped up.

"Especially since we got you a present," Peter added, smiling hesitantly.

Remus took a little round potion bottle out of his pocket; the liquid inside the glass was gooey and purple: Sleeping Draught.

"No!" Mina shouted, stomping her foot like a petulant child, "I told you _NO_!"

Before Remus could do his usual sad, plaintive routine that made Mina do pretty much whatever he wanted, the girl was gone, stomping away up the stairs. She got in bed and tried to sleep. Closed her eyes and did her best and failed anyways.

xxXxx

Day six involved skipping classes and holing up in the dorm and trying to sleep and ending up not doing so, nearly biting Mary MacDonald's head off when she brushed too close to Mina's closed hangings. For not the first time, the Gryffindor that Mina referred to as Chubby fled the room in tears.

Day seven dawned with some mild hallucinations. Bugs crawling under Mina's skin.

Just before classes were supposed to start, Dorcas Meadowes leaned inside the bed hangings. Just her blonde head and little pointed nose and dull brown eyes.

Thin, frowning lips. "You alright, Lupin?" the girl inquired, "Your brother and the rest are staked out at the bottom of the staircase. They seem to be under the impression that you're not well."

Mina stared up at her for a moment, neck rolling limply on a pillow that felt like it was full of broken glass. "Dorky Fields," she murmured, delirious, "Do I have bugs?"

"Bugs?" Dorcas responded, arching a shapely eyebrow as her gaze swept up and down the bed, "Er... not that I can see... so is that a _no_ then?"

"No," Mina replied, having completely forgotten the original question. She scratched at her arms and tried to make her eyes stay focused, declaring, "Damn bugs."

"Right..." Dorcas drawled, already backing up, "I think I'll be reporting that you need some urgent medical attention, ok?"

Mina was only able to repeat, "Damn bugs."

xxXxx

By the time McGonogall had been alerted and arrived on the scene, Mina had scratched her left arm raw and bloody. The girl was promptly restrained and transported to the Hospital Wing and (with the help of her brother and so-called friends) force fed a dose of Sleeping Draught.

Seven days. That was the record. And Mina slept for two more after. A deep, dark sleep like death.

She woke confused and disoriented, sore all over. Her teeth ached and her eyes burned. Her toenails itched. Every muscle fiber felt bow-string tight, ready to snap.

"Miss Lupin," the nurse said, appearing in an instant and resting a cool, soft palm on the girl's forehead, "How do you feel?"

"The fuck, bitch," Mina growled, slapping the woman's hand away and struggling to fight free from the stranglehold of the covers, "I'll have your job for this!"

Madame Mary pursed her shriveled lips and shook her head, loudly proclaiming, "Young lady, I will tolerate neither threats nor crude language. You will lie back and receive treatment, or you will be restrained again. Do I make myself clear?"

"You will not be touching me, now or ever," Mina replied, "Do I make _myself_ clear?" She twisted away from the old cow, searching frantically for a wand. Possibly something sharp. Anything that could be used to hold further so-called _treatment_ at bay.

That was when the bitch must've stunned her because Mina found herself catapulting headfirst back into the cold embrace of darkness.

xxXxx

With the administration made aware of Mina's unhealthy insomnia, meetings were held with various health professionals, staff members (including the headmaster), and even the girl's grandmother in order to determine what was to be done.

Mina hated it. In fact, there was really nothing she hated more than being lectured, except perhaps being ignored while other people discussed her fate like they had any fucking right to it. The whole thing was unceasingly infuriating, not to mention insulting. And she wasn't going to start taking that vile potion again, no matter what the _adults _ordered.

And Mina was furious with her brother. That made the whole situation worse. She couldn't remember ever having been so mad at him. It felt like she'd been betrayed by the one person for whom she'd die without question. She didn't want to feel that way and knew it was probably unfair and irrational, but Mina really couldn't believe her twin had done this to her. He of all people should've understood why she was the way she was, that her stupid, stubborn eccentricities didn't come from nowhere.

She managed to avoid Remus and the boys for a day or so after being released from the Hospital Wing, skipping classes and meals and hiding in a newly discovered hidden corridor.

For all the effort she put in, it really was silly that the girl ended up running directly into Sirius's chest toward the middle of the second night.

Brooding and not watching where she was headed, stomping about after curfew, Mina rounded a corner and collided with the boy and bounced back with a soft _oof_, already ready to start shouting even before she recognized the idiot responsible.

When the idiot turned out to be Sirius, turned out to be smirking cockily, her anger level spiked drastically. "Bugger the fuck off, you traitorous toad!" she seethed, practically shaking with rage, her fingernails digging grooves into her palms as her fists trembled at her sides.

"Traitorous toad?" he challenged with vague amusement, "Me? I think you're mistaken, Mina my love. I am one of a valiant few who saw fit to save you from your sleep-deprived delusions. Or do you not remember trying to scratch your own arm off?"

The memory was hazy but distinct, and Mina's cheeks burned. Rage and shame. The girl hissed, "I didn't ask to be saved or _drugged_!"

"What is your problem?" Sirius asked, genuine but getting slightly annoyed, "So you have trouble sleeping. Big deal. You don't have to stay up for weeks at a time and make yourself crazy when you can just take the bloody potion and be done with the whole thing!"

"I don't like that potion," she snarled, "It's my choice! No one is allowed to make it for me!"

His annoyance seemed to be increasing in time with her anger. "When you're hurting yourself they do," Sirius replied haughtily, in that obnoxious aristocratic way that had been practically bred into him and never seemed to shut off entirely, "You don't even a real reason for all this nonsense! You're just being difficult!"

Mina's temper had a hair trigger, but she usually managed not to lash out physically at her friends at least. That comment, however, had the girl shoving hard at Sirius's lean chest. "You don't know fucking _anything_!" she hollered furiously, "And I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else! It's my bloody body and my bloody life, and I'm the only one who gets a say! People can't just deem me to be inconvenient, drug me to the gills, and then leave me to rot!"

"We sat with you every day!" Sirius fired back, indignant, "We were taking shifts not going to class until Madame Mary figured it out! We snuck out and slept in the Hospital Wing both nights! Do you have any idea how absurdly uncomfortable those bloody cots are?"

"Yes, thanks to you," she answered icily.

Sirius threw his hands up in frustration, pacing a bit and bellowing, "You can't be mad at us for this! You were hurting yourself, and we saved you!"

"Well, don't do me anymore favors, arsehole!" Mina shrieked in reply, her shrill voice echoing back through the deserted corridor. She tried to execute a proper storm-away, but Sirius grabbed her, squeezed her tight against his chest with both impossibly long arms. It so wasn't fair that all the boys were growing by inches and Mina still needed step ladders for even moderately high shelves.

Even though Mina screamed and kicked, Sirius kept his hold, his front to her back, his lips to her ear despite the very real threat of being head-butted. "Remus told us everything," the boy reported, too quiet and too soft and too caring for a thirteen-year-old. Especially that one, who existed in a near constant state of obnoxious noises and fidgety movements and crude jokes.

Mina froze. "No, he didn't," she murmured, trembling briefly, "He wouldn't."

"James figured it out," Sirius reported, still in that same too gentle tone, "And Remus told us about Greyback. About being bitten. What your mum did after."

"I can't believe he told you," Mina whispered. The guilt crashed over her in a familiar tidal wave, threatening to pull the girl under, sweep her away. "I didn't sleep much even as a kid," she found herself babbling, floodgate opening in a rush now that the secret was out, now that there was no more need to hold it in, "Mother used to drug me. She was weak and hopeless and all alone, and I was too _difficult_. She didn't know how else to deal with me, so it was almost every night. Mostly the potion but sometimes pills. Even some firewhiskey once. I remember that because it made me really sick. And my throat burned for days after. Still can't stand the stuff."

Sirius waited, patiently, for the story to progress.

Mina's face was suddenly wet, her breath coming in odd little gasps. "I begged her to stop," she explained, "I even tried to be good, but I wasn't a good kid. I wasn't loving and sweet and obedient like Remus... the full moon night, I fought back. I was shouting and hitting, and I managed to spill half the potion before Mother could pour it down my throat. She'd been drugging me so much that the dose was only enough for a few hours. I woke up just in time to hear Remus scream."

Mina sobbed and felt Sirius's arms tighten around her, felt his breath warm on her neck.

"That bitch just left me there," the girl spat, "She realized what was coming and had a few minutes head start, and she grabbed Remus and left me drugged and asleep in my bed! With the front door standing open! I was five-years-old, and she left me to die!" Laughing bitterly, Mina added, "But Greyback preferred the moving target... Remus woke while she was running. He started crying and struggling, wanting me, wanting to go back. He says that Mother tried for awhile to calm him, but when he got too _difficult_, she left him, too. All alone in the forest on a full moon night with a child-eating werewolf coming up fast. Crying for _me_ to find him... he never stood a chance."

Swallowing hard as her tears kept gushing, Mina continued, "While my brother was being bitten and turned, that _woman_ got herself past our anti-apparition wards and got away without a bloody scratch."

There was silence while Mina cried, while she fought weakly against Sirius's embrace.

"They just gave you back to her after that?" the boy finally murmured, prodding the conversation along.

With a bitter laugh, Mina replied, "She had some story made up. And Remus and I were so traumatized we were hardly speaking at all. He was in Mungo's up through the next full moon. The healers thought he wouldn't survive. He was the youngest child to ever even live through the bite itself. The transformation should've killed him, but it didn't. And then it was a just a matter of living with the condition. I was thrilled. I didn't care what he had to turn into once a month. My brother would live, and that was all that mattered. I'd failed him, but I wouldn't ever again."

More silence. Then. "Mother had a different way of thinking," Mina snarled, "She took us home, but I was so angry with her, lashing out every second, so much worse to deal with. And Remus wouldn't even speak to her. She kept saying he'd been tainted. Ruined. After a few days, she decided she couldn't handle us anymore. She tried to put us both out of our misery by spiking our juice with an overdose of Sleeping Draught. I had a high tolerance. Remus didn't..."

Another quick squeeze from Sirius made the girl realize that she'd trailed off, her mind wandering into memories of kneeling over her brother's body, again, sobbing and begging him to breathe until she noticed the almost imperceptible rise and fall of his tiny chest. Waiting endless days to see whether or not he would ever wake.

"Mother used the opportunity to vanish," she went on softly, "Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned. We were sent to our father. They were never married, and he left just after we were born. We'd only ever met him a few times. And he wasn't any more equipped to be a parent than Mother was. He still isn't, just immature and selfish, only concerned with where his next fuck or drink or galleon is coming from. He's the reason Greyback targeted us. The idiot actually met Greyback at some pure-blood function and had the nerve to ask if Greyback had fleas and whether or not he'd ever _gotten it on_ with a real wolf. Drunken moron. As much as Grandmother and I don't get along, I'm glad she's looking after us rather than him doing it. He probably would've traded us both for cigarettes by now."

Sirius chuckled quietly, remarking, "I can see why you might be afraid of taking the potion."

"I'm not afraid," Mina snapped, trying and failing to elbow her captor, "I don't like being forced to do things!"

"That's not what you said," Sirius teased, though there was a distinct current of concern in his voice, "You _said_ you didn't want to be drugged and left to rot. You really think we'd do that to you? That Remus would let us or anyone else?"

Pouting, Mina replied, "Well, no-"

"He _barely_ left your side," Sirius interrupted gruffly, "And even then only under extreme protest, with McGonogall practically dragging him. What happened was awful, but you're only hurting yourself and him by being stubborn about it now."

Mina sagged. As much as she hated to admit it, the girl knew her friend was right. "Where's Remus?" she murmured.

"We split up to find you," Sirius reported finally letting Mina go, cheerfully flinging an arm around her shoulders and steering the girl along down the hallway, "We're meeting back in the kitchens in an hour. Merlin, we have to come up with a better way of tracking people down. The brute search is exhausting."

"James says the same thing every time we have to follow your arse all over creation," Mina answered, chuckling and wiping her damp cheeks, resting her head on her friend's shoulder and noticing again how tall he'd gotten, "I guess we share the run-and-hide problem resolution strategy."

xxXxx

Later, after making up with her brother and friends, promising she would take the potion once for every three days she went without sleep, Mina finally heard about the nicknames. And about the plan.

"He's Moony," Peter reported, even though James was the quick wit who came up with the moniker, "And you're Sunny. Get it?"

Sirius came up with that one, though his original suggestion (changed for symmetry) had been Sunshine. As in, _Ain't she just a ray of fucking sunshine?_

"I get it, Pete," Mina laughed, spearing a piece of broccoli from the boy's plate, "Very clever."

"We're all going to get nicknames, too," the pale lad reported excitedly, his pudgy bottom spilling over the sides of the stool he was sat upon at the kitchen table, "We just have to see what kind of animals we turn into."

Mina frowned in confusion.

Sirius was quick to explain, grinning a five-star impending-mischief grin and declaring, "We're all going to become Animagi. And then it'll be safe to be around Remus during the moons."

"It's genius, right?" James proclaimed, "We just have to get a hold of the book and practice. Sirius thinks his parents probably have a copy in their library."

It _was_ genius. Mina wondered why she'd never thought of that, but, then again, she never had been the brains of the operation. The creative force, if you will. James and Sirius split that duty, with occasional input from Remus, when he was feeling generous. Mina mainly just punched and mocked.

"I really do love you guys," she declared, finding herself a bit choked up again, obstinately holding off any more humiliating tears.

"We love you, too, Sunny," James answered with a great big smile, "Marauders stick together. No matter what."

xxxxxxxxxx

So skipped ahead a bit and gave a bit more background about the Lupin family life, as well as why Mina is so bitchy. Hopefully no one was too lost, haha. Next chapter skips ahead again, so be ready for it, and if you want it faster, reviews have been known to persuade me ;)


	4. Growth and Ganja

Part 4 - Growth and Ganja

Stealing their grandmother's best set of plates and goblets and silverware for the fourth year in a row was slightly more difficult than it had been in the past. The old woman had definitely gotten wise and hidden the expensive stuff quite well. But Mina was determined, not to mention rather clever. The traditional Marauder lunch feast would continue as scheduled.

Of course, the diversion Mina had created in order to succeed in her customary back-to-school thievery made her and her brother have to leave the house a bit early. They arrived at the train station with nearly three hours before the Hogwarts Express would leave.

"Not that I don't enjoy our feast," Remus remarked lightly, his nose already stuck in a book as he took a seat in the compartment, "But don't you think this is getting just a bit ridiculous?"

"She started it," Mina insisted, flopping huffily down onto the opposite bench, "And I always return all her silly rubbish. Cleaned and polished. The old bat should just shut her big mouth and count her lucky stars."

Remus shook his head, chuckling a bit.

Not for the first time, Mina noticed that her brother had gotten a bit taller over the summer. He was almost as tall as she was now, and he had also started to fill out in the shoulders.

Well, at least he hadn't filled out in the chest. Massively. At least he hadn't had to sit through the most awkward and embarrassing shopping trip of all time. Looking for bras with a ninety-year-old woman was just traumatizing, especially when the old bat proceeded to loudly question whether or not the shopkeepers thought Mina's breasts were abnormally large for a skinny girl of just fourteen, whether they were even symmetrical.

Mina had been grounded for weeks after angrily kicking over a whole row of mannequins, but the small act of anger had totally been worth the absurd punishment.

Whatever. She wouldn't have to deal with her grandmother again for several months at least, more if they decided to stay at school during the holidays. The thought alone made Mina smile.

She was so caught up in her daydream that she forgot to be sneaky about letting loose with a great big yawn.

Instantly, Remus's attention left his book and focused squarely on his sister. "Mina," he murmured plaintively, all big, pleading amber eyes.

Sighing, the girl scolded, "Just don't start. I'm fine. Not even close to the record."

"We had an agreement," Remus answered with a frown, "You promised."

"I'm _fine_," she insisted once more.

With a calculating stare, her twin demanded, "How many days?"

Frustrated, Mina kneaded her temples and tried to think of the last time she'd slept. "Um..." the girl wondered aloud, "I got a few hours on... Friday, I think."

"Friday _morning_?" Remus gaped, quite clearly upset, "When you passed out on my floor? You were only out for twenty minutes! That doesn't count!"

Mina scoffed, insisting, "Well, it was still sleep. I still have another day and a half."

Remus got all sulky and tried to do that thing where he pouted and made Mina do anything he wanted. Bloody brat.

"I'm going to walk around a bit," Mina announced, jumping to her feet in an attempt to avoid being manipulated into taking a dose of Sleeping Draught. Maybe later that night, if Remus kept up with his pestering, but not just then; she didn't want to miss out on the train ride. The Marauder feast was time-honored and always tremendously fun.

The platform was still well and truly deserted, and Mina was at a loss for how she was going to entertain herself.

Like some merciful, benevolent higher being had been listening to the girl's thoughts, Sirius Black came stumbling through the pillar.

He had also grown over the summer, looking taller and more muscular, his handsome face leaner. Just slightly gaunt, but time with his family had always had that effect on him. His gray eyes widened when they landed on Mina, trailing up and down her newly pubescent body in a rather transparently appreciative manner.

"Sweet Circe," the boy announced with his usual blinding but slightly and unconsciously cruel grin, "If I had know that _that's_ what you were doing over the summer, I definitely would've invited myself along."

"Nice to see you, too, prat," Mina responded, punching the flirtatious boy lightly when he decided to step well inside her personal space. She snapped, "Stop being slimy and start being fun. I need entertainment."

"And dear old Moony refused to oblige?" Sirius questioned, falling into step beside her and leaning his arm on Mina's shoulder. He was quite a bit taller than her now, so the arrangement was fairly comfortable for the both of them.

With a sigh, Mina reported, "He was on me about sleeping."

Chuckling just a little bit uncomfortably, Sirius asked, "Going for the record again, Sunshine my love?"

"No," his companion declared, "The twin nagged me pretty consistently all summer to take the potion. Bloody foul ooze."

"Weeeeellll," Sirius chirped excitedly, glancing about for authority figures in the way he usually did when he was about to suggest a round of general rule-breaking. "I've got something much better for you to try," he declared, digging into his pocket and producing a sandwich bag half full of-

"Sirius Orion Black!" Mina crowed, returning his dangerous, challenging smirk, "Is that what I think it is?"

He beamed, waggling his dark eyebrows and the dried green herb and crooning, "Only one way to find out."

xxXxx

They emerged from the smoke-filled men's toilets to chaos on the platform and the sound of the train's shrill whistle.

Not realizing that it was _not_ the departing whistle (not even close), Sirius immediately and hysterically shrieked, "We're going to miss it!" He grabbed his trunk in one hand and Mina's hand in his other and took off running. He didn't stop running until he got them both firmly onto the train. Which was not moving. Bugger all. He then began his search for the Marauders' compartment; Mina was absolutely no help, being high off her cute little arse and all.

Bloody hell. Since when did Sirius think Mina had a cute little arse?

_Since she grew herself one_, his brain helpfully supplied, _Not to mention those stupendous tits_.

"Don't talk about Sunny like that," Sirius hissed venomously. He then snickered at himself. He had this tendency to respond to his own thoughts when he'd been smoking. The group of muggle friends he'd made over the summer had found it absolutely hilarious and had made sure to induce the phenomenon as often as possible.

It had been a good summer.

"You know what?" Mina announced, seemingly unable to stop giggling. She practically snuggled Sirius's arm, nuzzling and sighing happily.

Sirius had never seen her so happy, had never seen her face so free of anger and worry, not even while she was asleep. And, he noted absently, Mina was very pretty. Not stunning, just pretty without even trying. The deep blue of her eyes reminded him of lake water on an overcast day, murky and tempestuous and cold. Her shapely lips curved up at the ends (when she wasn't scowling), and her messy, sandy hair wasn't quite brown or blonde but somewhere in between, barely skimming her shoulders and obviously DIY, as she tended to hack it off whenever it got even slightly long. She also had adorable little ears and just a handful of dust-speck freckles across her soft cheekbones and petite snubbed nose.

"Sirius!" the girl giggled again, her grin toothy and slightly feral, "Sirius! You know what?"

"I do not know what, Mina-Bo-Bina," he replied quite formally, sticking his head into a compartment full of second-year Hufflepuff girls, flashing a charming grin, and feeling rather smug when they didn't even wait for him to leave before they began to shriek giddily. "Are you going to tell me what?" Sirius questioned, his randy teenage mind already working through candidates for his next broom cupboard rendezvous. Girls were too easy sometimes; all he had to do was hit them with that smile of his, and they practically fell over themselves to get him into their knickers. And while that was _very _nice, there was just no challenge in it anymore. Merlin's pants, he was just fourteen and already a bit burnt out on casual sex… there was something very wrong with that, something more than just an almost criminally short attention span...

"Yes," Mina responded, nodding, giggling, "I am going to tell you that I hate both my parents."

Sirius blinked, taking a moment to catch up with the conversation before murmuring, "Oh... well, that's understandable. I'm not too fond of your parents either, nor of my own."

Continuing like he hadn't spoken at all, Mina declared, "They are stupid, selfish people who never should've been allowed to procreate, except that that would've been bad because then Remus and I would not have been born." She stopped quite suddenly, getting a funny, thoughtful look on her face and then flopping abruptly to the floor. "Oh no," she cried, eyes wide and genuinely terrified as the rest of her lean body took on a becomingly inelegant boneless sprawl, "What if I don't exist?"

"Merlin, Sunny," Sirius laughed, unconcerned by the traffic jam and strange glances, "You exist. I'd be pretty bat-shit crazy if you didn't, seeing as how we talk all the time. You ok? Ya, you're ok. Let's get that cute little arse up."

She looked up at him and, forgetting her momentary panic, began to cackle.

Sirius felt himself turn red, commenting, "Did I just say that out loud? I did, didn't I? Bloody buggering fuck! It's not my fault! You're the one who grew the cute little arse! Not to mention those stupendous tits!"

The cackling stopped, Mina staring up at him with a soft, kind of starry expression. "You really think they're stupendous?" she asked all breathlessly, her short, choppy hair spread out like a tarnished halo and her snug t-shirt riding up as it made the appropriate answer quite obvious.

Sirius felt his trousers get tight as he nodded and finally managed to haul Mina back to her feet.

Pouting, hanging off his arm, Mina loudly whispered, "Not abnormal?"

"_Abnormal_?" Sirius repeated, frowning, "If by abnormal you mean amazing. And I happen to be an expert on the subject... Who told you abnormal?"

"Grandmother," Mina pouted, "When we went bra shopping... She usually doesn't say anything about how I look except to complain about my hair. I just figured there was something wrong with me if she bothered to bring it up."

With a sigh, Sirius truthfully explained, "The only thing wrong with you is your uncanny ability to resist my charms."

Mina snorted in a rather unladylike fashion, laughing, "You're only saying that because of the _stupendous tits_, you incorrigible horn-dog. But thanks anyways." After a brief beat, she added, "You always make me feel better. Even at the monthly."

"I do_ not_ need to hear about your monthly," Sirius proclaimed desperately. It was one thing to compliment Mina's tits and quite another to acknowledge her... functions.

"Not _mine_," she insisted, giggling uncontrollably, "Remus's!"

"Oh." He flushed. "I knew that." The conversation probably sounded completely barmy to any outsiders who happened to be listening. But, then again, most Marauder conversations did, especially since they'd found out the Furry Little Secret (as James like to call it) and started training to become Animagi.

Mina went on giggling for awhile longer, still seemingly unable to stop. It was a captivating sight, one that Sirius noticed was gathering quite a lot of attention from the people they passed. Most just seemed stunned that cranky Mina Lupin (often referred to behind her back as "Mad Mina") was being so bubbly and smiley. But there were other looks too, lingering, admiring ones from blokes as old seventh year. Sirius knew exactly what thoughts and fantasies and dastardly designs lurked behind those looks, and he suddenly found himself shielding her defensively, actually _growling _at the other guys and desperately trying to find the compartment so that he could hide her away. Protect his Mina. For the first time in his short life feeling rather territorial about her in ways that had nothing to do with their close friendship...

When he did find the compartment, letting himself and his giggling companion spill through the door, Sirius realized too late that going in there in such a state may not have been the best idea.

"What did you do to her?" Remus demanded almost instantly, catching his sister as she launched herself at him for a big squishy, squealing hug. The young men tenderly petted her tousled hair and glowered up at Sirius, keen senses probably already having detected the cause of the behavior.

"Er," Sirius searched, "It's... medicinal?"

James burst out laughing, so hard he had to double over and hold his sides.

"You stupid bastard!" Remus gaped, so livid he was actually shaking, so incensed that he began to advance on Sirius and had to be restrained by a still cackling James and a rather confused Peter.

"I thought it would help her sleep!" Sirius defended, keeping his distance, making sure the path to the door was in no way obstructed. Not that he could likely run very far without falling flat on his face... He should've known this was a bad idea. Mina was rabidly protective of Remus, and, although he wasn't quite as militant about it, Remus was just as protective of her.

"Don't be such a kill-joy, M_ooooooo_ny," Mina snickered, snuggled up in his lap and tracing the apparently fascinating pattern in his thin sweater, "This stuff is awesome. And I am _starving_, so let's get the feast underway." She wriggled and squirmed, apparently too uncoordinated to manage to stand on her own. She gave up with a sigh, pouting, "Food! Somebody get me food! And sparkly stolen things!"

Nobody moved.

Mina whined and then started laughing again. "I order you to get me food!" she shouted to the room at large. After another few moments of not getting her way, the girl zeroed in on Peter. "Pete," she pouted, "Be pal and set up the feast, ya?"

Peter had pretty much always been hopelessly helpless where Mina was concerned, so damn eager to impress the girl that had once needed to be convinced that he was worthy of sharing her oxygen. He was the same with Sirius and James, but that was more hero worship; with Mina, it was practically devotion.

"Sure, Sunny," Peter said, actually _blushing_ as he dove to open her trunk. He'd stopped blushing at Mina halfway through first year, when she'd threatened to castrate him if he didn't. The newly acquired stupendous tits seemed to have both strengthened her persuasive power over the boy and regressed him to a stuttering, stammering, smitten eleven-year-old.

Well, Peter could hardly be blamed. The stupendous tits were having some strange effects on Sirius as well. The longer he watched Mina sit on her brother's lap, the more he wanted Mina to sit on his own... and that was just _odd_.

It was going to be a long year.

xxXxx

As irate as Remus was, every ounce of fury just melted from him the second Mina fell asleep on his lap, her forehead tucked right up against his neck and her thin arms wrapped around his thin shoulders. He smiled sweetly down at his sister, brushed a few strands of hair out of her utterly peaceful face and some spaghetti sauce off her cheek. Adjusted her emerald-encrusted tiara.

Sirius released the breath he'd been holding, flicking happily at the sapphire earrings dangling from his ears.

Conversation was kept to an uncharacteristically dull minimum as the remainder of the train ride passed. Which was fine. Perfect opportunity for a nap of his own. Sirius woke refreshed when the train reached the station and, as the only one with actual muscles, was volunteered to carry the still asleep Mina to the carriages. Which was also fine. Mina wasn't heavy at all and felt warm and soft in his arms, giving these occasional happy sighs and cuddles that Sirius started looking forward to like a kid does Christmas.

Merlin's balls. He really was developing a severe problem. She was Mina Lupin. Little Sunny Sunshine, toughest bird around. His best friend. His other best friend's sister. For all intents and purposes, his _own _sister. An infatuation was just unacceptable. He needed to channel these urges toward other, sluttier girls, ones who he didn't really care about eventually hurting.

"Tell that to my stupid, soppy heart," he whispered, already perfectly aware that no other girl could ever measure up to Sunny. In fact, he'd been comparing his flings to Mina even before that day without even realizing... it was the main reason that most of them ended so quickly.

"Mmm, Sirius," Mina muttered, rousing slightly as the carriage set off with a jolt. Curling into his chest, wriggling on his lap, the girl moaned, "You smell _good_."

"Thank you," Sirius stated stiffly, actually blushing as James snickered beside him, "You also smell nice." Lemongrass, if he wasn't mistaken. Tart and complex.

"I stole Remus's shampoo," Mina whispered, then giggling and blaring, "MOONY! Sirius says you smell nice!"

Damn the transitive property. That wasn't the first time it had gotten Sirius in trouble, nor would it be the last.

James went back to laughing hysterically, and Remus looked at all of them, Sirius especially, like they'd gone rather batty. "Um," he drawled, raising an eyebrow before diving back into his book, "Thanks, Sirius... sweet of you to notice."

_How do I get myself into these situations?_ Sirius wondered.

"Probably has something to do with all that inbreeding," he answered himself, "It's a wonder I don't have twelve toes."

Everyone stared for a few moments, silent and confused. And then they were all laughing again.

Bloody hell. It was going to be a _really_ long year.

xxxxxxxxxx

C'mon. It was the seventies. Of course there were a few potheads in the Marauders. Hehe. Reviews are some kinda wonderful :)


	5. Unpleasantness

Part 5 - Unpleasantness

With closed eyes, Mina concentrated hard and tried to get her body to morph, tried to direct the energy rushing through every tendon and vein, channel it into embracing an innate animal form.

One of her ribs popped, shrinking inward. "Fuck!" the girl gasped, eyes flying open as she doubled over and pressed hard on the searing pain. Concentration officially gone.

"Don't stop!" James scolded brightly, sitting cross-legged on the floor of the abandoned classroom, book open in his lap, "You started growing fur! That's the farthest any of us have gotten!"

Scowling, still trying to rub away the ache, Mina snapped, "Let's see how well you do when your ribs start rearranging themselves! It bloody smarts!"

"You ok?" the boy asked, concerned, "Want to sit while I take a turn?"

Mina waved him off, gasping, "I'll be fine. Just give me a second." The fourth-year took several slow, measured breaths, wincing as she felt her rib reshape and slide back into place. "Much better," she sighed, able to stand straight and stretch, "So I'm furry?"

"Oh yes," James snickered, "A little before you stopped, you started sprouting hair in places where there was no hair before."

Oh how she treasured her James Time. As the only two Marauders too damn smart for the nonsense of Divination, they always had several hours a week to spend together; the hours were never dull.

"Wicked," Mina hummed, "Sirius owes me a galleon. He kept going on and on about how I'd probably end up reptilian since I'm cold blooded anyways. Prat. He probably caught some brain-rot from one of his sluts."

Smirking (but not denying the last accusation, Mina noted), James observed, "He was only trying to get your attention away from Sturgis Podmore."

Mina was confused, scowling as she mused, "Podmore? That pathetic sixth-year with the glass jaw? I vaguely recall having briefly berated him for following me between classes. We should start calling the bastard _Pervmore_."

James snorted and agreed, "Done. And it was not a brief berating. It was long, epic, and poetic, like the ones usually reserved for us. I think our dear Mr. Black was jealous. You know how he hates not being the center of your attention."

"That's silly," Mina laughed, "I was only trying to make an example. I'm sick of being drooled over by slimy morons who barely know my name. Just because I grew boobs doesn't mean that I'm not still the same unpleasant person."

"Maybe even more unpleasant," James agreed once more.

Smiling happily, fondly, Mina ruffled his spiky black hair and cooed, "You say the sweetest things."

For a moment, James looked pleased with himself. But then he frowned and moped, "If only Lily thought so."

"I do not understand your obsession with that girl," Mina growled, flopping down at his side, "But seeing as how it's not turning into the fleeting phase I'd hoped, I wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't offer some advice."

"Really?" he answered, hazel eyes bright and owlish behind his thick glasses, "Last time I asked for girl advice, you almost punched me in the face." He backed up a little, adding, "You said that assuming you had insight into a mind like Lily's just because you possess the same downstairs parts was an insult to your entire gender."

Mina snickered, responding, "And it is. This is based more on observation. You talk to Lily like you're talking to me, like she _gets_ that you're only to be taken seriously about ten percent of the time. Like she has an actual sense of humor. She doesn't."

Again, James frowned, arguing, "She does. Just not like ours... nobody has a sense of humor like ours."

"Fair enough," Mina quipped, "But you get what I'm saying, don't you? She and I aren't the same kind of female and shouldn't be treated as such. She isn't going to suddenly come to her senses and realize that you're awesome just the way you are. Is it worth it chasing after someone who doesn't appreciate you? Who's only ever going to want you if you become a different person?"

Indignant and upset—but still typically arrogant—James insisted, "I think you're wrong. She will realize I'm awesome. We're perfect for each other."

Mina groaned, tipping backwards onto the floor and complaining, "It's like talking to a love-sick brick wall."

"That other stuff is good," he went on, getting excited, probably already scheming, "I need a new strategy... what's the opposite of what you'd want a bloke to do?"

"Pretty much what they've been doing," Mina stated with an exaggerated eye-roll, "But I don't think Lily would particularly appreciate being stalked like a piece of meat either. It's only been two weeks, and I'm already thinking of killing the next bastard who looks at me with anything but terror in his eyes."

Nudging her bare leg, James ordered, "Give me some names, love."

"I've been dealing with it myself, thanks," Mina sighed, glaring at the mounds of flesh on her chest, "Everything was so much simpler without these fat stupid lumps. What is it with boys and boobs?"

James laughed, teasing, "That's like asking what it is with girls and kittens."

"I couldn't explain that either," Mina chuckled, "You know I've always been more of a dog person."

"Good afternoon, Jim," Sirius chirped brightly as he and Peter arrived on the scene, "Sunshine my love. Are we making any progress?"

"Sunny got all furry and shifted a rib," James reported proudly.

"You owe me a galleon, loser," Mina spoke up, smiling smugly as the money changed hands, "I am definitely mammalian."

"Want to study for Herbology later?" Sirius asked with a smirk, making a not-so-subtle toking motion to accompany the not-so-subtle secret code. Remus had approved the habit as long as they didn't indulge too often, as long as they didn't do it where he could see and didn't get caught; James had been invited once but had decided he preferred firewhiskey as his mind-altering substance of choice. It just wasn't wise to alter Peter in any fashion; he tended to slide into awkward confessional moods or, Merlin forbid, nudist moods...

"After dinner," Mina answered brightly, "Where's my magnificent twin?"

Peter giggled, sliding his pudgy butt into a desk and reporting, "Chloe Bell stopped him outside Divination. She's interested in being _tutored_ by old Moony."

"Chloe Bell?" Mina murmured, arching a thin eyebrow, "The Hufflepuff with the two huge brothers who beat for Ravenclaw? Has Remus lost his damn mind?"

"Quite possibly," the werewolf himself interrupted, arriving a bit out of breath and pinching his swollen nose to stem the flow of blood.

"Moony!" Mina cried, scrambling up to examine the injury, "What the hell happened? Was it the Bells? Did they do this?" She paused briefly for an answer and, upon not receiving one, yelled, "Tell me who!"

"I'm fine, Mina," he sniffled, voice nasally and gurgly, "It's not as bad as it looks. Nothing's broken. Ethan Bell hit me once, and David was going to, but I hexed them both and walked away... I _won_, ok?" After a wary silence, he added, "There's no need for escalation."

"I'm going to kill them," his sister answered, eerily quiet, so much so that everyone turned and looked at her.

Sirius must've seen something terrifying in the girl's eyes because he immediately went from tending to Remus to grabbing Mina into a bear hug. Holding her back.

"Don't," Remus ordered desperately, "Promise me."

Mina stayed strangely silent, not even struggling. She was past angry, well into uncharted homicidal territory.

"Mina," her brother repeated, "Promise."

Still, the girl said nothing.

"You have to promise," Remus said, voice cracking with fear, "If you do something that bad, you'll get expelled! You swore you wouldn't leave me!"

Mina's jaw twitched almost imperceptibly, her expression still frightening and hard even as she gritted, "I promise I won't kill them."

"Don't go after them at all," Remus pressed, "Please. It's not worth it. Promise."

"I promise," Mina agreed softly.

A week later, both she and Sirius showed up at the Gryffindor quidditch tryouts with their eyes on the beater positions. And, more importantly, on the Bell brothers.

xxXxx

"They look scared," Mina remarked, glaring at object of the last seventh months of her rage, all that effort and training. It really was too bad that the Gryffindor v. Ravenclaw game was the last one of the season. Waiting until May had been hard but worth it.

No one touched Remus. Or any of the rest of the Marauders, for that matter. Mina had thought the fact was well-known, but apparently the Bell brothers needed the lesson hammered home. With any luck, Mina would be able to do so repeatedly and with great force.

"They know why we're here," Sirius chuckled, grinning evilly across the pitch as the teams went through warm-ups, "And it doesn't have anything to do with that gaudy trophy."

Mina offered her friend a wide, feral smile, murmuring, "No mercy."

James flew over, glancing cautiously between his two friends. "Um," he stated, "Duncan asked me to remind you two that this game is not being held purely for your own revenge."

"Relax, Prongs," Sirius chuckled, quite fond of the nickname they'd been using since their friend had managed to sprout antlers just before the Christmas holidays, "We know."

"Any injuries to the _Ball_ brothers will be purely incidental," Mina cackled, trying and failing not to sound too evil. She waved at her twin, who was watching worriedly from the middle of a sea of Gryffindors and their supporters.

"Right," James responded, not seeming to believe his friends in the least. "Well," he said, "Just don't get distracted and let me get beaned. Lily's sitting next to Moony. I want to be impressive, not dead. Also, after two years on the team, I'd like to actually win the Cup. We had a deal, remember? I go along with the plan if you actually do your jobs so that we have a chance at it. We're so close, mates. I mean, we're going in ahead in points. Don't blow it now."

Rolling her eyes, Mina went back to staring down Ethan and David Bell, a pair of rather gargantuan blondes, seventh and sixth year, respectively. They were the ones who'd be lucky to make it out of the match alive. And they damn well knew it.

After Mina and Sirius's first game, Gryffindor v. Slytherin back in November, the brothers had apologized whole-heartledly to Remus. Too little too late, as far as Mina and Sirius were concerned. Well, more as far as Mina was concerned, but Sirius was an excellent cohort and stuck by her side.

Sirius also had anger management issues that rivaled Mina's own, which was convenient. That Gryffindor v. Slytherin game had done wonders for both their mental health. Sirius had gotten to scar several pure-blooded nemeses, including Snivellus (who had only been the in the stands, but Sirius was just that good).

The whistle blew, putting any further insights off as the players rushed to line up at center field.

xxXxx

_Good afternoon, Hogwarts! Once again I am Dorcas Meadowes, and I welcome you to the last quidditch match of the year! This one is for all the marbles, folks! The second seated Gryffindors need at least two hundred points to overtake Slytherin and seize Cup. Third place Ravenclaw needs a whopping four hundred twenty to even have a chance. And with the long anticipated Lupin v. Bell vendetta to be hashed out, the game promises to be an entertaining one. _

_For the Gryffindors, we have Everett Legrand keeping, Sirius Black and Romina Lupin, the terrifying twosome, beating, Zane Creevy, James Potter, and team captain Charlotte Duncan chasing, and Miranda Barnes seeking. For the Ravenclaws, we have team captain Andre Johnson keeping, Ethan and David Bell, for whom the bell doth toll, beating, Warren Grover, Amos Diggory, and Hamish McDougal chasing, and Eleanor Kirby seeking. Rumor has it that Duncan, Johnson, and Kirby all have professional contracts lined up for after graduation. With their talent and Black and Lupin's rage, I think we can all look forward to a fantastic show_.

_And with the opening toss, Gryffindor takes- HOLY CRAP!... er, sorry, Professor, but Lupin has charged Ethan Bell right out the face off and is walloping him about the head with her bat! Instant whistle and, I'm pretty sure, a penalty, but Lupin refuses to stop!... Oh, damn! The referee has split them apart. Ethan is bloody but otherwise unscathed, and it seems as though Ravenclaw has been awarded a penalty shot to be taken by Diggory. He approaches, fakes right, shoots, left, aaannndd... deflected by Legrand! Gryffindor gains possession once more!_

_Duncan to Potter, Potter ducks McDougal, skirts around Grover, fakes past Diggory, throws back to Duncan, who SCORES! Ten to nothing, Gryffindor, as Ravenclaw takes possession- briefly! Goodness, Black swoops in with the precision bludger shot and just about crushes poor Grover! Creevy scoops up the turn-over, passes to Potter, who passes to Duncan, who feints around McDougal and passes to Creevy, who shoots and... gets deflected by some fancy flying from Johnson. McDougal snaps up the quaffle-_

_OH! Lupin smashes the bludger right into Ethan Bell's face! Black is already placed to nab the rebound and- Ouch! Straight to Ethan once more, this time his arm. It looks broken, and we have Johnson signaling for a timeout. Ravenclaw scored in the meantime, I believe the shot came from Diggory, so the score is tied, ten all- WHOA! This time we've got David Bell charging Mina Lupin! And after the whistle, too! Bad form! That's at least two penalty shots! _

_The beaters are just punching each other now, losing altitude rapidly! They're both going to hit the ground at this rate, and here comes Black, Potter, and the not-quite-fully-healed Ethan Bell to get involved! It doesn't look like the ref is having any luck at all breaking up this fray! Aaand, yes, they're all on the ground, rolling about and punching each other. Seems like, instead of a quidditch match, we're getting treated to a bit of wrestling... ow. At this rate, the Bells will be lucky to be out of the Hospital Wing before the end of the month. Well, folks, I guess that's why they call her "Mad Mina"..._

xxXxx

"People really call me 'Mad Mina'?" the girl questioned, looking far more pleased by the title than the 310-140 victory she'd just helped pull off, not to mention the league championship.

With a nod, James reported, "They have for years. You've never heard it before?"

Mina shrugged, shaking out her freshly washed hair as the fivesome trudged through the passageway to Hogsmeade to make some purchases for the after party. "I guess no one's had the nerve to say it to my face," she commented brightly, "It's bloody brilliant though. Any other nicknames I should be aware of?"

"Loopy Lupin," Sirius piped up, "Sometimes Loony Lupin. Though I usually hear both those for Moony more often than for you."

Mina frowned, her good mood growing rather dark and ominous.

"Don't!" Remus insisted with an exasperated eye roll, "Merlin's sake, Mina! You don't have to beat up everyone who looks at me wrong! I'll be lucky if another girl speaks to me ever again!"

With an indignant little huff, Mina scolded, "Seeing as how your tastes run toward cowardly, airheaded bints with huge brothers, I'd say that's us dodging a bullet. I'm concussed, Moony! Did I mention that? Because you made me have to do this silly round-about just to carry out my sisterly duties! At least if I had fought them regular, I wouldn't have gotten cracked across the face with a bloody bat! So think about _that_ next time you start sniffing after some disease-ridden tart!"

Remus deflated a bit, probably knowing he'd never win. Probably guilty because his sister had been concussed quite severely while battling for his honor, even though he'd repeatedly told her not to. He complained, "I didn't fancy Chloe, and she didn't fancy me. She really did just want tutoring. And she told her brothers that. That's why they apologized."

"They apologized because they remembered who your sister was," Peter laughed, jogging to keep up on short, pudgy legs, "And because they saw her and Padfoot during the Slytherin game. People kept coming up to them and asking what they wanted on their tombstones."

James snorted a bit, giggling, "Plus those pre-emptive obituaries we've been handing out all year did a number on their fragile little minds."

Cackling quite evilly in that captivating way she had, Mina bellowed, "Those were amazing! And the charm to make the writing disappear in teachers' hands? Superb. One of your more useful strokes of genius. You should modify it for our map. Secrecy will mostly likely be key."

"Not a bad idea," James mused thoughtfully, "The charm reads intentions, but I bet I could add an incantation in there, something only we would know so that only we could make the map work. It would just look like blank parchment unless it was in use."

"Interesting," Mina commented, "Until one of us mistakes it for an actual piece of blank parchment and uses it to write an essay. Can you just imagine turning in the map as a Transfiguration assignment?"

From Peter's nervous fidgeting, he could very easily imagine such a thing.

Nodding, Remus agreed, "That's a good point. We should mark it somehow, but nothing that would make it seem obvious or worth confiscating."

"What about that spell Padfoot did on his last Charms assignment?" Mina suggested, brightening up once more. She had been awfully proud of that particular spell. "Flitwick nearly had a stroke when the essay started writing back against his corrections," she snickered, "I'm so glad we were in detention with him when it happened."

"But he was so impressed that he gave me an O anyways," Sirius declared, smug, "Not bad for having handed in half the feet requirement on the wrong bloody subject." Plus, there was the way Mina had giggled like mad all the way back to the common room. Sirius was quite fond of making the girl laugh. Ridiculously fond, he often mused. For many reasons, the most annoying of which was Mina's complete obliviousness to his fondness. Though Sirius thought that may have been a good thing; all the blokes who'd made their fondness for the girl apparent had been met with, at best, disgust and, at worst, violence.

He hoped that Mina's reaction to him would be different, if only because of his being her best friend. But Sirius wasn't entirely sure. For as much as a person could set his watch by some things about Mina (her temper, her foul mouth, her fierce loyalty to her brother and the rest of their little crew), she did have the tendency to be unpredictable at times. Such as when she got it into her head that she would be a beater, even though she'd barely played quidditch at all before that year. She still wasn't that good at it, if he was being honest, but her intensity and unceasing anger more than made up the difference. Even though Sirius was more skilled, most people considered her to be the better beater; what that meant was that she broke more heads. The only heads Sirius had been particularly interested in breaking were Slytherin and Bell ones. Mina was far less discriminating; she disliked pretty much everyone.

Sirius liked that about her, strangely enough. She wasn't... easy. And not in the _girl of easy virtue_ sense of the word (though she certainly wasn't that either). Mina was just difficult. About everything. She was mean and stubborn and unpleasant and a thousand other negative qualities that most people in their right minds generally didn't appreciate in their friends. But those faults were what made her _Mina_, made her honest and quick-witted and sharp-tongued and insanely loyal, always ready to fight. She was an actual challenge. And Sirius loved her.

The fifteen-year-old stopped in his tracks. He _loved_ her? Merlin. He'd been obsessing over her the entire year, sure. Even to the point of recently being rendered unable to enjoy his own fan following and the easy virtue they routinely offered up for his pleasure (which was frustrating and embarassing as all bloody hell). But _love_? Was that the word for it? She was his first thought in the morning, his last thought at night. He went through his days trying to come up with ways to make her smile and even looking forward to her cranky scowls. His gut burned with jealousy when other blokes so much as glanced at her...

_Oh no_, Sirius mentally moped, _This can't be good_.

"PADFOOT!" James shouted boisterously from Mina's headlock, "Hurry up, mate! You know Sunny likes to molest me when she gets bored!"

"And I want to have time to stop by Scrivenshaft's for some new ink!" Peter contributed.

Everyone chuckled over the memory of the pudgy boy spilling the last of his ink on the front of his trousers at breakfast that morning. It was a good thing Remus was so handy with cleaning spells.

"Coming," Sirius called, jogging to catch up even though his brain was still stuck on its troublesome realization.

xxXxx

It was a good party, Mina thought. Though she probably wasn't the best judge; she didn't really like parties. She was, however, enjoying sitting near the open entrance to the common room, lazily smoking a joint (cleverly disguised as a lollipop with a simple spell of her own design), watching her drunk fellow students make idiots of themselves, and turning away crashers she didn't deem worthy of participation. She'd already been able to tell Snivellus to get lost, which, in turn, caused an irate Lily to storm away in solidarity of her slimy plus-one. The night really picked up after that, and it seemed as though nearly every Hogwarts student (minus a few of the more offensive and psychotic Slytherins) had poured in to pack Gryffindor Tower and celebrate the victory.

Without Lily to pester, James was noticeably less jubilant, but only because Mina knew him so well. To everyone else, James Potter was his usual center-of-attention, anything-for-a-laugh self, dancing shirtless on a table and crooning love songs into his personal bottle of firewhiskey while admiring females flirted futilely in his general direction.

Remus, on the other hand, was politely looking on (watching out, more like), gingerly and graciously accepting drinks and conversation from his own flock of adoring girls. Despite her twin's belly-aching on the subject, he still received a respectable amount of female attention. And Mina didn't have any problem with girls talking to her brother. She reserved veto power, sure, but Remus was amazing. And he deserved anything he wanted, even if that happened to be stupid tramps.

Peter was lurking nearby, doing his best at chatting up a few mousy hangers-on. After years of extensive coaching from the boys, he was actually getting better at it. Mary MacDonald (also known as the Chubby One of Mina's roommates) seemed to be about three seconds away from walking him to first.

Sirius... well, Mina didn't know where he'd gotten off to. He'd been acting weird all afternoon but seemed to get back to normal once they arrived in the common room. He'd even been completely ignoring his little fan club in favor of helping Mina with the bouncing duties (which, granted, wasn't entirely normal ever since he'd tumbled headlong into puberty and discovered what his dick was for, but it had been appreciated nonetheless). They'd been having a great time, joking and laughing, but then Sirius had wandered off for more weed and butterbeer and failed to return. He'd probably been dragged into a broom cupboard somewhere. Mina didn't see the attraction of being felt up in the presence of cleaning supplies, but whatever. He was entitled to his fun the same as she was entitled to hers. And she had veto power on his tramps, too. (James was the only one of her friends who refused to acknowledge this right, unfortunately.)

Speaking of tramps, more partygoers arrived. Most were people Mina either didn't know or didn't have strong feelings about; several had even brought more liquor and food. Mina waved them by with hardly a glance, finally managing to snag that butterbeer she'd been craving.

The Bell brothers, however, warranted some harassment. Mina stuck her leg into their path when they tried to walk past. "This is a private party, gentlemen," she announced haughtily, with only the barest hint of a truly evil smile on her face, "I'm going to have to ask you to fuck off."

The older, taller one, seventh-year Ethan, had two black eyes and a still swollen nose. "C'mon, Lupin," he prodded, giving an exasperated sigh, "Whatever happened to good sportsmanship?"

"I'm not familiar with the concept," Mina answered, "And I was under the impression that you two didn't have a firm grasp on it either." She turned her cocky smirk toward the other one, sixth-year David with the dimples that other girls tittered and cooed about to annoying extents. She added, "Attacking after the whistle _is_ typically frowned upon, correct?"

David had the grace to blush, though the color on his cheeks was hard to make out past all the bruising.

"Lupin!" the team captain, tall, statuesque Charlotte Duncan interrupted from the dance floor (where she was getting awfully chummy with the Ravenclaw captain, the rather large and attractive Mr. Andre Johnson and his accompanying bottle of firewhiskey). "Just let them through!" Duncan laughed, "Quit being a bitch for two minutes and try to enjoy yourself!"

"I _am_ enjoying myself," Mina fired back, "And mind your own bloody business, _Drunken_. I don't go around telling you to stop being a slag for any amounts of time, and I would appreciate the same courtesy where my hobbies are concerned." Merlin, not having to pull punches when speaking to the captain felt _amazing_. Mina had been holding that one in nearly all season.

Charlotte seemed a little too inebriated to appreciate the linguistic intricacy of the finely crafted insult, the dark girl frowning in confusion and then losing interest, going back to her dancing partner and his freely flowing alcohol.

The Bell brothers, however, looked impressed. Especially David, who was carrying on giggling like he'd just witnessed the funniest thing in the world.

(The funniest thing in the world, as far as Mina Lupin was concerned, was the constipated sex face that Peter made when he was trying to change into his Animagus form. Mastering the feat was taking forever for all of them, but they were almost there and Mina didn't mind anyways because she got to cackle over the expression for hours at a time. It did wonders for her moods.)

"Peace offering?" Ethan finally quipped, producing a very large bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate from the pocket of his robes.

Mina's mouth watered. And then her temper flared. "You think I'm stupid enough to take candy from strangers?" the girl growled angrily, "You're pathetic, Bell. And I hope you burn for spiking a perfectly good chocolate bar."

"It's not _spiked_," Ethan grumbled, rolling his eyes. To make his point, the broad young man tore off the wrapper and took a big bite, chewing brightly. "See?" he said with a swallow, "And we're hardly strangers. You've been stalking us practically all bloody year."

Smiling mildly, Mina replied, "That's how I know you're not as dumb as you look. Eat the rest of it, particularly the middle."

He paled considerably, stuttering, "Well, I-I-... er..."

"I thought as much," Mina declared, "Oldest trick in the book, amateur. Honestly, I expected better from Ravenclaws. Aren't you dolts always going on about how much smarter than the rest of us you are?"

His brother snickered, quietly teasing, "Told you she wouldn't fall for it."

"I'm sick of this shit," Ethan complained, towering over Mina in a way he probably thought was intimidating (and, to anyone else, might've been), "We already apologized to you and your brother! What the fuck more do you want?"

Mina let her head tilt gently, kept her face impassive. "Hmm," the girl hummed, "That's a good question. You know, I haven't really thought past the part where I make you regret ever being born."

"Mina. _Enough_."

Even over the loud music, she heard her brother's soft reprimand and knew that the feud was over. Actually, she was surprised that Remus let it go on for as long as he had.

The girl huffed as she let her leg fall out of the way.

Ethan skirted past with one more pissy glare. David, however, lingered and stared thoughtfully.

"You're wasting your escape window," Mina pointed out, puffing briefly on her transfigured joint and sipping her butterbeer.

Smirking, dimples and all, the burly blonde boy commented, "What if I'd rather spend some quality time with Hogwarts's baddest bad girl?"

Mina couldn't help herself; she laughed out loud. "Was that your idea of a line?" the fifteen-year-old chuckled. Despite Mina's surliness and violence, the male population had kept up its attempts at wooing her with everything from gifts to poetry to outright declarations (and, on one notably horrible occasion, a bit of begging). Though these efforts annoyed Mina to no end, she'd gotten better at dealing with them as the year went on; they were now just another irritating yet inevitable part of her daily life, like underwire and Lily Evans.

David sat down in Sirius's vacant seat, still slightly wary but apparently encouraged by the reaction. He leaned in close and murmured, "Maybe it was, but can you blame a bloke for trying? You're gorgeous, witty, and amazing at quidditch. Add brave and feisty, and that's the whole package. I'd have to be made of stone to resist throwing my hat in the ring, so to speak, especially now that you're no longer trying to humiliate or maim me."

Maybe it was the concussion, or maybe it was the weed, or maybe it was all the extra body heat in the room, or maybe it was the fact that she'd never been hit with a line that seemed so... honest, but Mina felt her face flush. She looked away quickly, trying to get a grip; David Bell was just another passably cute boy who wanted in her knickers. _Now is not the time to finally develop that typically female weakness for dimples_, she told herself firmly. "Oh please," Mina snapped, "Like I need yet another hormone case chasing after me trying to hump my leg."

Grinning widely, flashing those blasted dimples and batting his big brown eyes, David laughed, "I promise to be a perfect gentleman. No leg humping unless it's specifically requested."

Rolling her eyes but letting a helpless chuckle escape her sticky lips, Mina observed, "You must have a death wish."

"Dance with me?" David inquired, offering a startlingly large hand.

Mina shrugged, still enjoying an uncharacteristically good mood and figuring _why the hell not?_ She let David pull her out of the chair and lead her toward the dance floor.

xxXxx

The sight that greeted Sirius when he reached the bottom of the staircase was enough to render the young man completely and utterly speechless. He felt his jaw hanging open, his fists clenching tight and strangling the bouquet of chocolate roses he'd bought specially and secretly from Honeyduke's that very day—because Mina wasn't impressed by much, let alone floristry, but he was hoping that her weakness for chocolate would work in his favor.

Mina was dancing, which was strange all by itself. But, Merlin, captivating, her hips swinging and head thrown back, sweaty tendrils of sandy hair clinging to her elegant neck as she smiled around a cherry red lollipop...

He could've watched her all bloody night had it not been for the fact that David Bell was clearly her partner, the huge, dopey blonde pawing at Mina's luscious waist as the two teenagers moved together in time to the music. Bell whispered something in her ear, and Mina rolled her eyes and laughed, allowed herself to be twirled out a bit and then straight back into the Ravenclaw's thick arms and massive chest. She looked so tiny and helpless pressed up against all that bulk, like she might be crushed at any second. But she was still Mina, and she was still firmly in charge of the whole situation. She wasn't anywhere she hadn't consented to be.

Sirius's temper had never been quite as consistently ferocious or volatile as Mina's, but, at that moment, he thought he could literally feel his blood boiling.

The music cut off with a sudden _BANG_, fizzling and hissing into murmurs of surprise and fear from the partygoers. Sirius realized that the wireless had just exploded, that he was likely responsible. He hadn't done accidental magic since he was five...

Watching Bell tuck Mina safely against his side and Mina not even struggle, Sirius also realized that he had to leave, right that bloody second. Before he did something truly stupid.

The boy turned and stomped back up the staircase, letting the chocolate flowers fall out of his grip.

xxxxxxxxxx

Ta da! Hopefully the time skips aren't confusing anyone, but if they are, then feel free to let me know. I will do my best to illuminate the situation. And the story will slow down a bit from now on.

Anyways, reviews are pure awesome just waiting to burst forth into the cyber world. Don't resist.


	6. Summertime Blues

Part 6 - Summertime Blues

David Bell caught her hand as she was stepping off the train, flashed those deep dimples and big brown eyes. "Can I trust you not to maim my owl if I write over the summer?" the older boy asked, his much larger frame looming impressively as he caressed the inside of her wrist with an almost startling gentleness.

Mina returned a wicked grin, flipping her sandy hair over her shoulder and coyly answering, "No promises." She tugged her hand away and turned away and followed her brother and friends onto the King's Cross platform.

When they were a suitable distance away from the girl's latest and most persistent admirer, the only one she actually didn't mind all that much, the Marauders paused for one last goodbye before the holiday. They would all be going their own separate ways, Remus and Mina heading home to their grandmother's place, James and Peter to their own family residences. Sirius was supposed to be shipped off to France for general refinement, but he'd already made plans to escape that fate and spend the break with his cousin Andromeda and her family at their current home on the Isle of Wight.

"Well, fellas," Mina declared with a sad smile, "I guess this is it for now. Everybody knows their assignments, right? And you're all going to work on stabilizing your transformations?"

Instead of answering, James just seized the girl into a bear hug, sweeping her off her feet and spinning her in circles. "I'll miss you, Sunny!" he crowed theatrically, throwing in a few fake sobs, "Write every day! And think of me often until next we meet!"

"Put me down, you great oaf!" Mina ordered, unable to stop herself from laughing at her friend's antics even as she struggled to get free of them. "Merlin," she complained brightly, "Every time we go on holiday, you make a big deal out of being apart from us and then end up flooing over to all our houses within the week."

"I can't help that I'm a deeply sensitive individual," James responded cheerfully, giving Mina a swift peck on the cheek just to watch her blush.

Punching him lightly in the chest, the girl finally fought herself free and snapped, "Deeply sensitive my arse. You just drive your poor mother mad until she kicks you the hell out."

"Speaking of my lovely mum," the boy declared, bouncing up on tiptoes and waving wildly, "I believe I've spotted her, so we'd best move the goodbyes along." With the scary speed he was known for, the boy pounced on Peter and squeezed him rather viciously. "Wormtail!" he cried, "Be strong! I'll always be with you in spirit!"

Peter wasn't quite quick enough to come up with a response before James moved on to Remus, attaching himself limpet-like to the werewolf's torso and bellowing, "Moony! My dear sweet Moony! Remember me fondly!"

"Of course, Prongs," Remus responded, prim but smiling as he patted the taller boy on the head, "See you next week."

Sniffling bravely, James nodded and finally detached himself. He approached Sirius. They stared at each other for a long few moments before James finally offered out his hand. "Master Padfoot," he stated stuffily.

"Master Prongs," Sirius responded, playing along even though he didn't really seem to be into it, "It's been a pleasure, as always."

They shook hands firmly and then stepped apart, heads held high in mock dignity.

Mina snickered into her brother's shoulder, already missing her friends before they'd even parted.

James insistently oversaw the remainder of the hugs, making sure all combinations were taken care of. By the time he was through, the rest of the parents and guardians had wandered over: Mrs. Potter, Mr. and Mrs. Pettigrew, and Grandmother Lupin.

"Goodness gracious!" Mrs. Potter beamed, adjusting her small square glasses and neat black hair, "I hardly recognize any of you! You all grow up so much every year! Little Mina, you are positively stunning! I bet you're fighting the boys off left and right!"

"If by _fighting the boys off_ you mean_ fighting the boys_, then yes," her son giggled, ruffling his own hair and then Mina's, "Though there's at least one she doesn't seem to mind. A certain Mr. Bell."

"Shut it, Lily-lover," Mina snapped in reply, elbowing him lightly.

"The Bells are a respectable family," Grandmother stated, straight-backed and humorless as always, her shockingly white hair wrenched into its usual painful-looking bun, "We should have them for dinner and discuss your future."

Mina glared heatedly at James, elbowing him again, this time much harder. "See what you did!" she hissed.

With an apologetic pout, James declared, "I take it back. Mina totally hates that wanker."

"_James Reginald Potter_!" his mother shouted, thoroughly mortified by the scandalized looks from the other adults. Though, actually, only Grandmother looked too scandalized. Peter's parents were just shocked and vaguely bemused; they weren't the type to get upset over such a little thing as swearing. In fact, Mina's theory was that they'd put up with just about anything if it meant that their son had actual friends.

"Um," James responded, "Oops?"

xxXxx

By the time he made it to Andromeda's house, Sirius was just _exhausted_. Getting out of the France trip had been a lot harder than he thought, and the days of travelling and deception had really taken their toll. All he wanted was to fall into bed and sleep.

Unfortunately, the two-year-old known as Nymphadora Tonks was making that impossible. Apparently, she'd been looking forward to his visit for weeks and could hardly decide which fun activity they should do first. Her bright hair slid unconsciously between neon pinks and purples as the pretty little thing chattered on and on about coloring and quidditch and candy.

Sirius sighed heavily, holding her squirming body in his lap and nearly crying in relief when Andromeda returned from the kitchen with the bloody tea.

His cousin grinned her crooked grin at him, auburn hair gathered back with a simple ribbon at the nape of her neck. "She been talking your ear off?" the woman beamed, taking a seat on the squashy old couch.

"Quite loquacious for a toddler," Sirius commented dryly, wincing when Nymphadora shifted positions and nearly stepped on a very sensitive area.

Snorting into her tea, Andromeda chuckled, "_Loquacious_? You've been hanging out with a well-read crowd then?"

With a fond smirk, Sirius answered, "Moony likes sprinkling big words into our conversations. He's trying to better us."

Andromeda nodded speculatively. "So Moony is... Remus?" she wondered, "I get lost sometimes in your letters when you switch back and forth between the nicknames."

"Moony is Remus," Sirius explained, "His sister Mina, she's Sunny. James is Prongs, and Peter is Wormtail. I'm Padfoot." After a brief beat, he laughed, "And don't even ask me to explain. The names come from a long drunken escapade that none of us has very clear memories of."

The standard cover story: it was kind of disgusting just how well it worked.

"Charming," Andromeda remarked lightly. She sipped her tea and laughed when Sirius downed his in one scorching gulp. "I think I'd like to hear more about these friends of yours," she said, "I have to make sure they're a good influence on my favorite cousin, after all."

Sirius smiled and found his second wind as he began telling stories, about how he and the crew met, about their personalities and various antics. Andromeda was in hysterics, and even little Dora gradually calmed down to listen, eyes starry and amazed.

"So Sunny looks him right in the eye and goes, 'Well, you know what they say about us,'" the boy snickered, recounting a run in with the Potions Master earlier that year, "Me and Prongs, we don't skip a beat. He chimes in, 'Good for nothing,' and I say, 'Up to something.' The whole class just busted up. I thought Slughorn was going to have a stroke. His face turned a horrid fuchsia color."

"Like this?" Dora chirped, squinting as her pixie haircut flashed to a comparable shade.

"More reddish," Sirius corrected offhand, continuing, "Anyways, we ended up scrubbing cauldrons every night for a week, but it was worth it. Snivellus's hands stayed black quite awhile. Prongs was so proud of himself."

"I'll bet," Andromeda said, rolling her eyes, "You might want to tell him that Lily would probably be more impressed by someone who _doesn't_ pick on her best friend."

Shrugging, Sirius said, "He knows. Poor impulse control, that one. But me and Sunny have the same issue, so I guess I shouldn't talk."

Andromeda smirked knowingly, looking so happy and relaxed and young. "Tell me more about Sunny," she prompted, "The girl sounds like a real firecracker."

"She is," Sirius said with a slow smile, "She's... I don't know. There's just no one like her." he thought for a few moments, trying to think of something else he could say about Sunny. Finally, he settled on, "She's special."

"You've got a crush," Andromeda accused sweetly, "I can hear it in your voice."

Dora snickered, sing-songing, "Sirius likes Sunny! Sirius likes Sunny!"

"Hush up, runt," Sirius teased, tickling the girl into submission. He sighed and admitted, "I think I might love her."

"So?" his cousin prompted, nudging him lightly, "Go for it. Thought you were the ladies' man."

He shook his head, lamenting, "She's not interested. And I don't want to ruin being her friend just because I've developed an obsession. And I feel stupid for not noticing how perfect she was until she got so beautiful. Now she's got more blokes than she knows what to do with coming after her, and she shoots them all down. Except this one. David Bell. She's been tolerating him. And they're going to write over the summer, and by then it'll probably be too late, but I don't think there's anything I can do. I don't even register as anything but a best mate. When we were hugging goodbye, I actually _smelled her hair_, and she didn't even notice! That's how pathetic I am and how clueless she is!" He ran out of breath and paused, scowling at both himself and the crooked grin on Andromeda's face.

"Well," the older woman began, "If your intentions are genuine, then there's nothing wrong with trying to win her over. She might not be interested now, but that could just be because she's never given you any thought. Make her think differently and see what happens... I don't mind if you want to invite her to visit for a few days. And then I could even help feel her out for you."

Sirius laughed and agreed, "That might be good... but Mina won't come without her brother, and then when James hears about it, he'll be showing up with Peter in tow. I wouldn't inflict the full Marauder experience on you."

Andromeda smiled, commenting, "I think it would be lovely, but we don't have room inside for that many people. You'd have to camp in the yard, if that's alright."

"I want to camp!" Dora squealed, back to squirming, "Can we toast marshmallows, Mummy?"

"It could be arranged," the woman laughed, scooping her daughter into her arms for a cuddle.

Sirius couldn't help grinning as he watched. Andromeda was a good mum, completely the opposite of his own: loving, caring, affectionate. Accepting. Dora would grow up well in such an environment.

"So?" his cousin asked, drawing him out of his thoughts, "What's the verdict?"

Sirius nodded, already getting excited, "Ok. Marauder campout, here we come."

xxXxx

The Lupin Manor was, more than anything else, boring. Remus was content enough to waste his days in the library or sometimes wandering the expansive grounds, but Mina never got over the fact that there was absolutely _nothing_ that she enjoyed doing inside or anywhere nearby. Summers and occasional holidays were mainly spent moping, looking forward to letters and visits from friends, and bugging Remus to actually be fun.

The summer before their fifth year was no exception. Only days in, Mina already felt half crazy with boredom. Picking fights with her grandmother had been mildly amusing, but that was like playing with fire; having to live in the dreadful place was bad enough without getting herself grounded, too.

"Moony, I'm BORED!" she complained, sprawled on the floor of the lush library.

Clearly doing his best to ignore the intrusion into his reading time, Remus didn't even look up from his ridiculously thick book as he replied, "So go for a walk."

"There's nowhere to walk _to_," Mina pouted. She spent a few moments quietly picking threads out of the expensive Persian carpet. Finally, she suggested, "Want to floo over to James's?"

"His family is visiting friends in the States for the week, remember?" Remus reported, "He tried to escape through our floo, but his mum and dad must've grabbed his ankles and yanked him back."

Pouting even more, Mina mumbled, "Bloody old Potters, stealing Prongs away when I need him most."

With a heavy sigh that sounded almost like a light laugh, Remus finally shut his book. He peered down at his sister through a length of sandy fringe that probably needed a trim, his amber eyes bright and fond. "I'll go flying with you for a few hours if you'll get some sleep later and actually let me get some of this homework done," he offered.

"Deal," she chirped, beaming and bouncing to her feet. Before running off to grab the brooms, the girl leaned in to give her twin a tight hug.

xxXxx

They'd been flying for maybe an hour when the first owl showed up, a huge tawny creature with a letter clutched in its beak.

Mina chased after it like a seeker goes after the snitch, scaring the daylights out of the poor animal and, after she did finally catch it, getting herself pecked rather severely. "Beast," she spat, wrestling the letter away and then letting the animal go on its way, quite a bit more ruffled and pissed.

Breathless, Remus flew up beside her and commented, "I'm sure the bird's owner isn't going to appreciate having it treated like that."

Mina shrugged. "Whatever," she said, tearing open the letter that was addressed to the both of them. She scanned it quickly, laughing aloud at all the jokes and then reporting, "Padfoot wants to know if we can come to his cousin's house for a campout."

"You mean_ sleep outside_?" Remus questioned worriedly, just a bit prissily as he took the parchment to see for himself, "Why in Merlin's name would we want to do that?"

"Because it's fun?" Mina suggested, still kind of skeptical herself. She'd never been camping before so couldn't be sure, but pretty much everything their little band of misfits did together was ridiculous amounts of fun. If they ever figured out a way to bottle and sell their excess, then they'd all be set for life.

Remus scoffed, "I think I spend quite enough time tramping about through nature, thanks."

"Where's your sense of adventure, Moony?" the girl teased, pulling a lazy loop-de-loop up and over her brother's head, "Besides, it's not really _nature_. It's just Andromeda's backyard. And maybe we'll have time to practice our transformations some more. Then we'll be ready to accompany you on those _nature walks_ when we get back to school."

It was then that she spotted yet another owl headed their way and shot off after the bird. The second one was quite a bit faster than the first and took more effort to catch. But, in the end, Mina did succeed in snatching the animal out of the air. She'd learned from the first encounter and managed not to get herself pecked quite as severely.

"Who's that one from?" Remus asked as he once again appeared at her side.

Mina quickly scanned the messy scrawl, smirking as she reported, "David."

When no further explanation was offered, Remus chuckled and pressed, "And what does Mr. Bell have to say?"

"Nothing too exciting," Mina replied. She read silently to herself for a few more moments before gravely adding, "His brother took a position with Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

Remus grew pale.

xxXxx

Even though she had no intention of doing so before receiving the letter, Mina agreed to meet David for lunch a few days later. The rendezvous was not strictly a social one; Mina had to know if David knew the Furry Little Secret. And whether or not she was going to have to beat him into silence (or possibly take an even more drastic approach).

The Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures—or the Creature Cops, as Mina liked to refer to them when her brother wasn't there to scold—were, for the most part, competent, trustworthy, and kind. Remus's own case worker was a stout woman named Mallory Hobbs. She'd done a lot for their family over the years, including helping their grandmother construct a secure place for the transformations and recommending Remus to Hogwarts. And the thought of violating their confidentiality and exposing Remus to the judgmental arseholes of the world had probably never even crossed the white-haired woman's mind.

Unfortunately, Ms. Hobbs and most of the other more capable, sympathetic agents were practically ancient. A lot of them had retired or died over the years; Ms. Hobbs probably should've retired long before even taking Remus's case, but she thought her work was very important and didn't trust anyone else to do it properly. As Ms. Hobbs had once offhandedly, frustratedly remarked, the young agents the Department kept hiring came in already full of fear and prejudice, and it would probably only be a matter of time before they started hexing first and then maybe asking questions, if there were any survivors.

It was a source of major anxiety for both Remus and Mina, especially since a junior agent had been fired just a few years previous for snooping through confidential files and trying to blackmail a handful of vampires in order to keep their names out of the press. Ethan Bell struck Mina as the kind of person who could do exactly the same thing, given the right circumstances. The fact that Mina had repeatedly harassed and humiliated him over the entire last school year certainly seemed right enough. Oops.

As far as Mina knew, Ms. Hobbs had not retired or died, and she had always been fairly protective of her files and clients. Still, Mina wanted to be sure that Ethan wasn't snooping or running his mouth, to his younger brother or anyone else.

She waited in the small Diagon Alley café for maybe ten interminable minutes before David showed up, all dimples and muscles and enthusiasm. But Mina couldn't appreciate any of that; she struggled not to give the young man an absolutely icy welcome when he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I would've written again," David chuckled genially, "But my owl refuses to carry mail to you. What'd you do to her?"

With a disinterested shrug, Mina replied, "She interrupted our flying. I just chased her a little." She tried to think of a way to broach the subject of Ethan's new job without being too obvious. As the Sorting Hat had remarked years ago, Mina lacked subtlety. She really didn't know where to begin when confronted with a situation in which some was actually required.

David shook his head, scooting his chair along the small table and leaning in close to Mina's side. "You must be awfully bored to chase an owl around," he remarked, "Not much going on at home?"

Mina smiled blandly and reported, "Remus is already reading up for the exams. I guess we can't all have brothers with exciting new careers. How's that working out, by the way?"

That was subtle, right?

"Ethan seems to like it well enough," David beamed. He slid an arm around the back of Mina's chair, flashing a charming smile and adding, "He said they've got him shadowing the Head of the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures."

"So he's an executioner's assistant," Mina said, fighting _very_ hard to keep her voice level, "How quaint."

David shrugged, twirling Mina's hair a bit. "He said it's just until something opens up with the Dragon Bureau. Besides, they don't call them executioners. I think it's exterminators."

"They don't go around stepping on insects, David," Mina hissed, smacking his arm away from her. She sat back and glared at his startled face. "They _kill people_," she shouted.

Looking quite uncomfortable at the scene she was making, the Ravenclaw defended, "They kill _animals_... _Vicious_ animals."

"They _murder _people who the Ministry has _decided_ are vicious animals!" Mina interpreted for the clueless blonde, eyes narrowing venomously as she shouted right in his handsome face, "The criteria is a joke! In the last ten years, the Ministry executed two vampires and _six_ werewolves for posing a _danger to wizarding kind_! You know what that danger was? Refusing to stop publically petitioning to have themselves no longer classified as _animals_! Defending themselves when they were attacked for nothing more than being who they are!"

"Creatures who cooperate with the Ministry are treated fairly," David insisted, his voice kept intentionally low, "Those who don't know the risks."

Mina nearly growled. "Who the hell do they think they are to say who's human and who's not?" she yelled, vaguely aware of every eye on her, "Humanity is not a status to be revoked on the whim of some brain-dead bureaucrat so blinded by fear and prejudice and propaganda that he couldn't find his own arse with two hands and a Point-Me spell!"

Glasses and coffee mugs and tea cups on the nearby tables began shattering with sharp pops, people squealing in fright as they dove for cover.

Mina was so angry that she almost couldn't see straight, almost couldn't comprehend that she was probably to blame for the exploding dishes. Merlin, she hadn't done accidental magic in forever, not since second year.

(While trying to master a color-change spell, Peter accidentally set fire to two weeks' worth of her homework; she accidentally gave his eyebrows the same treatment.)

"Fucking bigot," she hissed at David's startled face, throwing down a few galleons to cover any damages and then storming out.

Within seconds, the Ravenclaw was chasing after her down the crowded Alley. "Are you completely insane?" he snapped angrily, "Or do you just enjoy screaming at people for no reason?"

"I listed several very good reasons," Mina snarled, stomping faster because otherwise she might turn around and tear the lad's throat out, "If you can't comprehend them, then there's no hope for you whatsoever and I'd prefer that you stop wasting my time."

"I'm wasting _your_ time?" David cried, completely indignant. He grabbed Mina roughly by the arm, bellowing, "You're the bloody psychotic tease who leads me on one minute and then shouts at me the next!"

Smiling a cold, feral smile that any of her _real_ friends would've known right away meant impending violence, Mina cackled, "Well then allow me to clarify the situation!" She reared back and, with all the force she could gather, thrust the heel of her palm straight up into David's nose, shattering it with a satisfying _crunch_. As the young man howled and spurted blood, Mina slammed her knee into his groin and sent him to the ground whimpering. She added one more kick for good measure.

And that would've been the end of it. Mina would've gone home and spent the next week and a half alternately sulking and gloating, possibly pestering Ms. Hobbs about keeping Remus's files under tighter wraps.

Unfortunately, that was when the arseholes in black cloaks and white masks showed up, apparating in sudden droves up and down the Alley.

Momentarily startled and confused (because you weren't supposed to be able to apparate in the Alley at all), Mina barely reacted in time to avoid a sinister bolt of dark red light that came zipping far too close to her head. The girl threw herself to the ground and scrambled away, rolling David with her toward safety because even though he was a dick, Mina didn't actually want the Ravenclaw dead. Well, that wasn't entirely true; she just didn't want him injured by any hand other than her own, for any reasons other than her perfectly legitimate ones.

Huddled behind an old stone bench, Mina tried not to panic and assessed the crazy situation, the absolute fucking chaos all around her. The arseholes in the black cloaks and masks were chasing the shoppers, firing off curses and, Merlin, torturing anyone they caught. Women and children, mostly. Cowards.

Mina's blood boiled as she watched a toddler being crucioed not quite ten meters away. As soon as the young woman got over the shock of it all, she pulled out her wand and began firing back. Admittedly, this was probably a mistake: it attracted the attention of violent psychopaths. But Mina just wasn't the type to sit back and shut up.

She drew fire away from David by running and diving behind an overturned peddler's cart. She landed rough and bloodied both knees but kept shouting off every curse that came to mind, smiling in satisfaction whenever they actually hit.

But, of course, she was outnumbered and, since she'd always been more of a brawler than a dueler, far outmatched. Within minutes, one of the arseholes blasted the peddler's cart into splinters too small to even use for firewood. And Mina was entirely exposed, felt a sick sense of dread as several more arseholes closed in and she realized that she had nowhere to run. She blocked at least a dozen spells before the constant barrage just became too much.

The vicious _Crucio_ hit her right between the shoulder blades. Or at least that's where the jagged fire that suddenly filled her veins seemed to originate from, starting as a stabbing pain that evolved into so much more within mere seconds. There was just... no conscious thought anymore. No surroundings. Just _agony_ that seemed to stretch into forever...

xxXxx

Sirius raced through the halls of Mungo's with his heart in his throat, glancing frantically at every face he passed and praying to anyone listening that Mina was ok. He'd gotten the owl from Remus not quite ten minutes ago and hadn't been able to breathe properly since.

"Padfoot!"

In his haste, Sirius almost ran right by Remus, doubling back a few steps and barely registering his friend's distraught expression before demanding, "What happened? Is she alright? Where is she?"

Red-eyed and seemingly shell-shocked, Remus quietly, brokenly responded, "S-She was supposed to be asleep. I thought she was. I should've been there. I should've been around to stop her from being so _stupid_."

"Moony," Sirius answered, forcing himself to be the calm, rational one (no matter how difficult that was), "You're not making any sense."

"She's a terrible dueler," the slight teen uttered to himself, starting to shake, "What was she thinking? What was she even doing there? She's grounded for mouthing off to Grandmother again! She isn't supposed to go out!"

"Bloody hell, Lupin," Sirius just about shouted. He grabbed his friend by both shoulders and gave him an impatient shake. Just to snap him out of it. "I can't give you any answers until I know what's going on," the black-haired youth pointed out, "So quit babbling and tell me what happened."

Remus breathed deeply in and out and finally managed to explain, "Those pure-blood fanatics. They attacked Diagon. Mina was there, and she was hurt. The healers said it was the Cruciatus Curse. T-They don't know how long she was t-tortured before the aurors showed up and saved her, and she hasn't woken."

Sirius thought he felt the ground fall away beneath his feet.

"They won't let me see her!" Remus complained, his voice growing more hysterical and desperate, "They're working on her, but they won't let me stay in the room! Padfoot, she's my _sister_!"

Before Remus could go on working himself into a frenzy, Sirius grabbed him into a hug. "It's alright," the taller teen murmured, comforting his friend as best as he could, rubbing his trembling back, "She's going to be fine. Sunny's tough. You know that."

"But..." Remus started to argue, almost started to hyperventilate but stopped himself with a long, shuddering sigh. He melted against Sirius's shoulder, clutching desperately at his thin t-shirt. "I can't lose her," the werewolf whispered meekly, "I don't know what I would even do without her."

"Good thing you're not finding out anytime soon," Sirius insisted, giving his friend one more squeeze before shoving him down into one of the chairs in the hallway. "Wait here," he instructed gruffly, "Put your head between your knees or something. I'll get us in." With his best and most charming grin, the young man added, "You probably just weren't asking the right person in the right way."

Sirius had hoped for at least a reluctant smile out of Remus, but he got none and moved on, shoving his way into the treatment room. He wasn't prepared to find himself confronted with so much blood. So much chaos and pain. Screaming.

He almost turned and ran back out. Almost lost his stomach contents. Only the fact that it was Sunny kept him going, motivated him to swallow back the bile and push forward through the other victims and healers until he found her behind a curtain toward the back of the large emergency ward.

Like Remus said, she wasn't awake. But she also wasn't being "worked on" or even supervised. The healers had most likely deemed her case to be a lower priority than some of the others they had that afternoon, and while Sirius resented that his Sunshine wasn't receiving more attention, he at least understood why. Some of the injuries he'd seen...

Mina looked so... small. So tiny and helpless tucked into the flimsy blue gown and the pristine white sheets of the cot. She was scraped and bruised but surprisingly clean. Sirius took her cool, limp hand and felt her strong pulse and relaxed a bit, watching her slack, ashen face for signs of movement as he tried to think of a way to fetch Remus without actually leaving Sunny's side.

Only a few minutes later, he didn't have to think anymore. In complete contrast to Sirius's sneaking approach, James arrived with a slam of the door and a bellow of, "PADFOOT! SUNNY!"

Sirius poked his head out of the curtains and waved and was nearly mowed down by James and Remus as they rushed past him.

"She looks ok," James observed, wasting no time before jumping into the bed with Mina and feeling her scraped forehead. "Muggles do this thing called mouth-to-mouth," he explained, obviously worried even though he couldn't shut himself up, "I saw it on the telly while I was in the States. D'you think that would help?"

In a rather uncharacteristically vicious move, Remus growled and smacked James upside the head. "Your mouth will be staying away from my sister's!" he snarled, "Especially when she's not awake, pervert!"

"Ow! _Moony_!" James complained, scowling as he snuggled up against Mina's side, "Has this situation taught you nothing? Violence is clearly not the answer!"

Remus suddenly looked like he might be sick.

Sirius felt a little uneasy as well, but that was just from discovering that Remus was likely to do worse than smack him upside the head if the Animagus ever actually followed through on giving Mina a little "mouth-to-mouth" of his own (if you catch his drift). Like the young man needed yet another obstacle between himself and his beloved...

Merlin, he wished his inner monologue would quit sounding so utterly poncey.

The curtain around the bed flew back to reveal a very annoyed-looking healer. "What are you doing in here?" the frazzled old woman demanded, "This area is restricted!"

"She's our sister!" James piped up, adjusting his big dorky specs, "I know Mungo's lets family stay with patients, and it's not like we're in anybody's way."

"Please, ma'am," Remus begged, "She was in the attack, and she still hasn't woken up. We only want to sit with her." The werewolf's pleading, sorrowful expression made Sirius want to hug him again.

The effect seemed to be the same for the old healer, who seemed to just melt. Reluctantly, she agreed, "One of you _must_ come find me if she wakes."

The assorted Marauders nodded and, left alone once more, made themselves comfortable to await their female member's return to consciousness.

That ominous _if_ hung heavy in the air.

xxXxx

Three days later, Mina had a private room but hadn't opened her eyes, and everyone was growing more and more anxious as the hours ticked by. The full moon was less than a week away, and Remus's health and temper were spiraling accordingly, which made everything that much worse.

None of the four boys (Peter having arrived a few hours after the rest) had left Mina's side for more than ten minutes at a time. Whenever they passed through, the healing staff kept hitting the teens with laundry and cleaning spells (maybe a cheering charm or two in the mix), delivering trays of food and sweets; between James's quirkiness, Sirius's charm, Peter's awkwardness, and Remus's utter despair, the boys had wriggled their way into quite a few hearts.

But they just wanted Mina to wake up.

Bleary-eyed from lack of sleep, thinking about much it sucked that Mina dealt with the same kind of insomnia on a pretty much daily basis, Sirius tried to distract himself and the others from their fear and worry. He managed to bully James and Peter into cards several times a day, and Remus could be coaxed into chess on rare occasions.

The twins' grandmother was around, flitting in and out depending on whether she felt like fussing with Mina's blankets or harassing the healers for news. Sirius knew that Mina didn't get along with the stiff old woman, but her worry was genuine; that counted for something.

It also counted for something that when the twins' father breezed into the room, she was the first to stand up and demand what the hell he was doing there.

Cassius Lupin frowned, straightening his prim collar and thinning, obscenely unremarkable brown hair. "Hello to you, too, mother," the slim man muttered hoarsely; if Mina's stories about him were to be believed, he'd likely just finished or was riding the tail end of a bender of some sort. That would certainly explain the dark circles around his dark eyes and the stale smell of liquor and smoke and sweat and sex clinging to his general person.

"Now is not the time, Cassius," the twins' grandmother hissed, her voice shaking as she struggled to maintain her stubborn civility.

"I can't visit my only daughter on her sick bed?" Cassius lazily wondered, strolling further into the room and approaching Mina's cot. He bent over the unconscious girl, regarding her carefully for a few moments before reaching out to brush her hair away from her eyes.

"Don't you _dare_ touch her!" Remus snarled, suddenly breaking the firm hold James had on his arm, jumping forward and slapping his father's hand away from his sister. Breathing heavily, he glared across the bed.

Cassius didn't seem particularly perturbed by his son's reaction, merely staring at him and finally grinning. "You've grown, Remus," he observed, smirking insufferably, "What's it been? Two years?"

"Four," Remus growled, "And I've treasured every bloody second." His eyes looked a little more golden than usual, his clenched fists shaking at his sides.

Letting out a short crack of a laugh, Cassius answered, "Four years. Well, you're practically a man, then." He let his slimy gaze slide back to Mina, raking up and down her unconscious form. "And your sister," he murmured, "Is unquestionably a woman... the rumors don't do justice to her loveliness."

"_Get. Out._"

Sirius didn't think he'd ever seen or heard Remus so angry, furious edging toward homicidal... he looked like his sister did on a good day, but because it was Remus, the expression was pretty damn terrifying.

The object of all that furious anger didn't seem bothered. In fact, he just kept leering at Mina. His own bloody _daughter_. If Remus didn't kill the man, Sirius decided that he just might have to.

The twins' grandmother came to the rescue. "Cassius," she snapped sharply, "The answer will always be _no_."

The tall man's vaguely familiar features twisted into an expression of disgust, of absurd adolescent pouting. His long nose rose into the air, sniffing as its owner spat, "Until you can no longer answer." With that, he turned on his heel and swept briskly out of the room.

"What's the question?" Remus immediately demanded, not angry as much as anxious, frantic as he turned to his grandmother, "If the answer is always no, then what's the question?"

The woman sank into a nearby chair, completely straight-backed as usual but suddenly seeming decades older. Frail. She sighed heavily and peered up at her grandson, murmuring, "Your father wants to arrange a marriage for Mina."

"NO!" Remus shouted, voice breaking and expression growing horrified, "He can't do that!"

"Not as long as I'm around," she wearily agreed. With a ghost of a seldom-seen smirk, the white-haired woman added, almost proudly, "Although I'm sure Mina is quite capable of defending herself in my absence..."

xxxxxxxxxx

Dun dun duuuuuuuuun... Of course I want reviews; reviews are awesome and inspiring :)


	7. Politics

Part 7 - Politics

Waking up was like emerging from a pool of sludge: heavy and slow, struggling against being sucked back down into the black mire.

Mina groaned and forced her gritty eyes to open, with great effort rolled her head back and forth on a pillow that felt like a rock. She surveyed the dim room, its dozing inhabitants. Though the girl couldn't recall exactly what had landed her there, she was sure that she was in a hospital. Mungo's. She remembered the smell and color scheme from when Remus had been bitten.

"Remus," she croaked, her voice a hoarse murmur. She wet her lips and swallowed several times before trying again. "Remus... _Moony_."

"Mina?"

It wasn't Remus, but Mina was just grateful to be answered. When Peter's plump, pale face swam into focus a few moments later, she graced him with a soft smile. "Water," she rasped, taking stock of all her assorted aches.

Peter nodded and hurriedly poured a glass from the pitcher on the bedside table, helping her sit up and hold the glass when her own arms proved to shaky to manage the tasks.

Once her thirst had been slaked, Mina coughed a little, peered around the room again. The Marauders were all there, Sirius and James sleeping in uncomfortable-looking chairs at the end of the bed, Remus curled on a fold-away cot on the other side of the room.

"What happened?" Mina murmured, gracing her friend with another fond smile when he fixed her pillows to prop her up.

"You were in Diagon Alley," Peter supplied. He took a seat beside her on the bed, his pudgy bum making the mattress sag awkwardly, "There was an attack by those pure-blood fanatics, and you were crucioed. You've been unconscious for the last four days." Seeing her gaze dart back to Remus, the pale blonde added, "We only got him to lie down a few hours ago. I guess we all zonked out right after he did. Sorry."

"No worries," Mina soothed, "Wouldn't want anyone breaking my record." She glanced back at Peter, stared at him for a few moments before declaring, "I remember now. Ethan Bell got a job with the Creature Cops. I wanted to make sure he wasn't running his mouth, so I went to lunch with David, the prick."

Peter's whole face brightened. "Ha," the teen declared happily, "I win the pool."

"You arseholes were taking bets on how long David would last?" Mina demanded, laughing despite herself and rather regretting the painful action when it made all her sore muscles throb.

"Not just us," Peter reported with a high, twittering giggle, "Half the school put money in! And that was my day! I'm bloody rich!"

Mina shook her head tiredly, chuckling, "Happy to oblige, Wormtail. I expect an extra special Christmas present this year."

"Anything you want, Sunny," he beamed, "I never win ever! This is amazing!" He spent a few more moments being absurdly pleased with himself before he remembered why he was sitting on the hospital bed in the first place. The young man gave an embarrassed half smile, muttering, "Sorry. How do you feel? Should I wake everybody? Or get a healer?"

"Not just yet," Mina replied, forcing a brave face, "I'd rather put off the poking and prodding and incessant questioning for as long as possible... have you guys been here the whole four days? You all smell terrible."

Sniffing gingerly at his plain t-shirt, blushing, Peter responded, "We were worried."

Mina shot him a cocky grin. "I'm touched," she said, "Now hit yourself with a bloody laundry charm, and let's play some cards."

xxXxx

"You were heard making inflammatory statements against the Ministry just prior to the attack," the young auror observed casually, though the remark clearly wasn't. He and his grizzled old partner stood over her hospital bed like creepy vultures that wanted to rip Mina's throat out.

She stared them down, completely unflinching as she replied, "And by _inflammatory_ I assume you mean _honest_." With a short, bitter bark of laughter, the young woman added, "Since when is it illegal to announce facts in public?"

The aurors didn't share Mina's amusement, remaining impassive, trying to be intimidating. The older one grumbled, "No games, girlie. A lot of innocents died in the attack. You've got a history of violence and subversion, and both have made you a person of interest in our investigation."

"Then your _investigation_ is a bigger joke than the Ministry itself!" she fired back, hurling a water glass across the room with all of her meager strength, "I was _tortured_, you idiots! And I'm a _half-blood_! Why in the name of Calypso's warty tits would I _ever_ join forces with those fucking psychos?"

Unsurprisingly, the commotion drew Mina's friends and family back into the room, Remus actually snarling at the aurors as he rushed to his sister's bedside and doted over her flushed cheeks and elevated heart rate.

"I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave now," Grandmother declared with that faux politeness she reserved for individuals who she really wanted to light on fire, "Mina is still recovering. Any further questions you may have for her should be delivered via the Lupin family attorney." She flicked a small business card into the air, and it sailed elegantly into the older auror's slightly mangled hand.

Grandmother wasn't exactly an impressive physical specimen—white-haired and slight and so wrinkled she looked shriveled—but her reputation was formidable.

The aurors grumbled and retreated.

"With hacks like that running the show, it's a wonder anything ever gets done in our government," Sirius observed, taking a seat at Mina's free side and slinging a strong arm around her shoulders.

Sighing, melting into his broad chest, Mina felt another wave of exhaustion threatening to pull her back into sleep. But she sure as hell wasn't going without a fight. "Actually, their abhorrent behavior and atrocious investigative skills don't surprise me in the least," she said, "Being a useless moron is pretty much a prerequisite for Ministry employment."

With a soft laugh, James rearranged her feet across his lap and observed, "Good thing none of us have delusions of civil service grandeur."

"Well," Peter pointed out meekly, shuffling a few steps away, "My mum says I should try to get a post there. Job security and all."

"Ya, that would be perfect for you, Wormtail," Sirius laughed, "You could do every bonehead thing in the book without getting fired. Hell, you'd probably end up running the place."

"Wormtail for Minister of Magic!" Mina crowed, losing herself in a fit of giggles and the feel of Sirius's warm arm around her.

xxXxx

Even though she didn't usually, Grandmother let the Marauders all stay over at the Lupin Manor. It wasn't quite the campout they'd envisioned (no great outdoors, no bonfire, no smores, and Mina wasn't even supposed to get out of bed), but, as usual when they were together, the five friends had a lot of fun.

"I don't understand," James said for the hundredth time that night. He held the game token up to the light and inquired, "What does a thimble have to do with real estate?"

"Nobody really knows," Mina answered with an exaggerated eye roll, "Put it back on the board, you wanker! You're going to lose my spot!"

Giving the dice a brief shake, Sirius declared, "Muggle games are so weird."

"Especially this one," Peter complained, "I don't like being in jail! Can't we just go back to poker?"

Sirius scoffed and scolded, "Why? So _we_ can win more of _your _money from the pool? Merlin's sakes, Wormtail. Quit while you're still ahead."

The pale boy fidgeted anxiously.

Remus returned with a big bowl of popcorn and plopped it and himself beside Mina in her big bed. "Did I miss my turn?" he questioned, munching on a handful of crisp, buttery goodness.

"Nope," Mina answered, "Prongs is still trying to wrap his mind around the game tokens."

Smirking, Remus laughed, "I told you we should've started them off with something simpler."

Mina shrugged and stated, "Ya, but I don't remember where we put the Candy Land set, and we have too many people for Sorry!" Smirking, she suggested, "We could play Twister if you idiots would let me out of bed."

"Not a chance," they proclaimed as one.

"Wow," Mina deadpanned, "So you really do share a brain..."

xxXxx

Grandmother never got around to kicking the boys out, so the Marauders actually spent most of the rest of their summer together at the Lupin Manor. Mina recuperated nicely but still felt tired all the time, long after she stopped admitting it or giving in to sleep more often than a narcoleptic cat. But even that wasn't so bad since she always found herself waking snug between Remus and Sirius, or James and Sirius, or Peter and Sirius...

They had plenty of time and privacy to work on their Map and to practice their transformations and had both nearly down by the end of August when the letters arrived.

No one was surprised to find that Remus had been made a prefect, and Grandmother even let them floo to London and go to the muggle cinema to celebrate. Mina just had to swear not to get into anymore duels.

The day came to return to Hogwarts, and it felt weird, not having her brother in the compartment while he was at his silly meeting, but he had promised to be back in time for the traditional Marauder Lunch Feast. And since he always had been the voice of reason, his absence gave the others the opportunity to try out a few of their more dangerous and downright absurd schemes. The most daring and conspicuous of which involved climbing onto the roof of the moving train.

"Come on, Wormtail!" Mina cheered over the roar of the engine, "Padfoot and Prongs will pull you up! Quit being such a wuss!"

The two boys leaning half over the side of the train seemed to agree, but Mina couldn't hear exactly what was said (and, once she thought about it, they probably couldn't hear her, either). A few moments later, they were hauling Peter up by the back of his trousers, grunting and groaning and falling together in a great heap.

Arms flung wide, Mina faced into the wind and laughed joyously, hoping that the rest of the year would be half as amazing as that very moment.

xxxxxxxxxx

Short but maybe I'll have another one for you soon. Reviews are love :)


	8. Modern Romance

Part 8 - Modern Romance

"Ugh," Mina groaned, ending up practically in Sirius's lap as she let herself fall down beside him onto the common room couch, "I fucking hate Slughorn. I hope he chokes on his own fat neck."

Even though it was getting more and more difficult to keep things strictly friendly, Sirius did his best, slung his arm around the girl's slim shoulders and suggested, "We should send him some candy to speed the process along. You know old Slug-guts can't resist a treat."

Mina giggled into his chest, snuggled in close and sighed.

And it was driving Sirius bloody mad. Ever since the summer, she'd gotten a lot more... affectionate with him. Still obviously suffering and in need of comfort after being tortured (though she would never admit it and would probably thrash him to within an inch of his life if he so much as hinted at the idea). Sirius didn't mind being there for his friend but very much would've liked catching the slightest hint that the hugs and cuddles were anything more than friendly. But, of course, a few weeks into the school year had yet to yield even one such instance. She treated him the same way she treated Remus, James, and Peter: like a brother.

"Prongs still polishing trophies?" Mina yawned.

Drawn abruptly from his thoughts, Sirius replied, "Last I checked. And Moony took Wormtail to the library to work on the Defense paper."

"So I guess we get some quality time then," the girl observed, "What do you want to do?"

Sometimes, Sirius's mouth said things without permission from his brain. Most times, it could be a real problem.

"We could snog," Sirius found himself suggesting. He really couldn't believe he'd said that and held his breath, waiting to see if Mina would laugh in his face or make him eat his own bollocks (smart money was on the second choice).

Instead, she just looked at him funny, kind of half smirked and chuckled, "Alright."

Sirius's mouth flapped open and closed a few times. He was, for perhaps the first time in his short life, utterly speechless.

Thankfully, Mina stood and yanked him up by the hand, practically dragged him out the portrait hole as she explained, "I'm probably not very good at it, so you're going to have to teach me, ok?"

"Ok," Sirius agreed, trying to figure out if he was dreaming. After all, Mina was unpredictable but she wasn't... _this_. The girl who went eagerly to the nearest secluded corner at the first sign of interest. "Are you... feeling alright?" he questioned, his brain trying to get the message to his big mouth to _shut the bloody hell up_ before it ruined the best thing that had happened to him in years.

"I'm fine, Padfoot," Mina said with an obvious eye roll.

He stopped and made her stop as well, tugging her back until she faced him. "Are you sure?" the teen asked, hungrily licking his lips as he took in the beauty before him, "Not that I'm complaining. _At all_. Just..." He gulped, his throat feeling swollen and the rest of him feeling flush.

With a sigh, Mina glanced around the empty hallway and then finally declared, "Look, I'm fifteen, and I've never been kissed. It's a little embarrassing already, but it's not like I'm going to just snog some random arsehole. I almost let it get that far with David, and look how that turned out." She grinned and added, "Life is short. Besides, if I ever get a real boyfriend, I don't want to humiliate myself too badly. And your skills are rather legendary. I can barely walk into a girls' loo without hearing some dumb bimbo twittering about that special tongue thing you do."

"Oh," Sirius muttered, battling down pride and disappointment at the same time. Snogging Mina was fantastic; snogging her just so she could practice for a _real_ boyfriend was kind of heart breaking.

But, for the moment, Sirius decided to take what he could get.

The rest, he was sure, would come.

xxXxx

They ended up in a deserted fourth floor classroom, staring awkwardly at each other. That went on for entire too long before Mina cleared her throat and asked, "So... what first?"

"Um," Sirius began, remembering that he was supposed to be giving the lesson, "You could... stand closer to me."

Mina did, wide-eyed and chewing on her plump bottom lip, shuffling in place as she tried to hide some obvious nerves.

The behavior was actually astoundingly sexy, all delicate and demure, but still with that underlying current of stubborn bravery that was pure Mina.

Sirius slid both his hands into her hair, took a brief moment to memorize the silkiness of her sandy tresses before leaning in, swallowing down the girl's startled gasp as their mouths came together.

_Three seconds of absolute bliss, of plush, velvety flesh and the sweetest scent filling his nostrils, making his head spin._

And then the door banged open, and James burst inside, waving the Marauder's Map and crowing, "SUCCESS!"

Sirius and Mina jumped apart in time to watch their friend's excitement turn to horrified alarm.

"Holy fuck," James stammered.

xxXxx

"It was nothing," Mina kept telling him, "Really."

Almost a full twenty minutes later, James had yet to say anything, to do anything but stare blankly at her and Sirius.

"Come on, Prongs," Sirius said again, snapping his fingers in front of the traumatized teen, "This is really starting to become bothersome."

Mina smacked him, hissing, "I think the word you're looking for is _worrisome_."

"Either way," he complained, rubbing his shoulder. Sirius felt a bit justified in his lack of sympathy. After all, James was the one who'd so spectacularly ruined what could've been the best night of Sirius's young life.

Bloody wanker.

Poking their friend sharply in the forehead, Mina declared, "Prongs, talk to me right this instant, or I'm going to tell Evans that you're gay!"

"_What_?" James yelped, shaking himself sharply out of catatonia.

Mina grinned, cooing, "Welcome back."

He sputtered briefly and then jumped to his feet, shouting, "How long has this been going on?"

With a roll of her murky blue eyes, Mina responded, "I told you, nothing is going on! Sirius was just teaching me to kiss!" She blushed faintly.

Sirius found himself absolutely fascinated by the rosy color pooling along her pale cheekbones. It was so seldom seen, after all; Mina had turned shamelessness into an art form, into a way of life.

"I'll bet he was," James snarled, glaring daggers.

"Oi," Sirius defended indignantly.

Mina held him back with a palm planted firmly on his chest. "He was," she insisted, "And I asked him to. Don't be a prick about this."

"Me?" James bellowed, "You! Him! What the bloody hell?" He began to hyperventilate a bit, seeming to on the brink of a panic attack.

Sirius shoved James's head between his knees, instructing, "Breathe, idiot!" He and Mina shared an eye roll before the young woman added, "If you'd just stop freaking out for two seconds, you'd see that this really isn't a big deal."

James just wheezed.

xxXxx

A joint and three shots of firewhisky later, James was _a lot_ calmer. No less upset, but calm was a start. Red-eyed and bleary, he peered at his two friends and slurred, "You should obliviate me."

"Shut up, Prongs," Mina sighed, sucking lazily on the end of her own joint.

"M'serious!" the young man moaned.

Because he couldn't resist, Sirius chuckled, "Nuh uh. _I'm_ Sirius."

Mina kicked him hard in the shin. She really hated that joke, considered it uninspired and dreadfully annoying and made a policy of doing physical damage to anyone who dared use it in her presence.

_Ouch_.

With a snort, James muttered, "Would be a lot better than having to carry these scarring mental images around for the rest of my miserable life."

"Like I said," Mina chuckled, "Shut up, Prongs. At this point, you're just being bitchy."

"You haven't seen what I've seen!" James complained, getting all worked up again, "How the hell am I supposed to survive with this knowledge?"

Sighing theatrically, Mina moaned, "Fine, I won't snog Padfoot anymore. Happy?"

"What?" Sirius yelped.

Mina and James stared at him with identically quirked eyebrows. It was almost comical, except not really because he was about to lose his preferred snogging partner.

"Prongs," Sirius offered gallantly, "If you really want me to obliviateyou, I will." He was just an awesome friend like that.

Instead, James completely overreacted, jumping over the back of his chair and falling on his skinny arse, pointing up from the floor and shouting, "Stay away from me, you bloody psycho!"

Mina threw her head back laughing, not even trying to hide the fondly exasperated eye roll she sent toward their friend. And then toward Sirius.

"What?" Sirius asked.

Shaking her head as she gave James a hand back into his seat, Mina snickered, "Are you really that desperate? Merlin, Padfoot, I'd heard you weren't getting any lately, but I didn't think you'd been driven to this point."

The comment made Sirius furious. Because Mina thought that of him and of herself. He found himself cruelly answering, "Well, I'd enlist your help to solve the problem if I thought you'd be any good."

Sirius had a problem alright. A big fat mouth problem.

All humor dropping away in an instant, Mina glared at him and snarled, "Slut."

"Prude," said Sirius.

Mina answered, "WHORE!"

"VIRGIN!" Sirius shouted.

And that was when Mina cracked him across the mouth, closed fisted because she really was a bitch like that. Sirius was still reeling as she snatched up the rest of their weed supply and stomped angrily away.

After a few moments of stunned silence, James laughed noisily, almost falling out of his desk again as he uncrossed and recrossed his lanky legs. "Even I know that was fucking stupid," the bespectacled lad declared, "Is that what I'm like with Lily? Cuz if it is, then I can see why she continues to resist my many obvious charms."

Thoroughly pissed at himself and the rest of the world, Sirius spat blood on the floor and growled, "Shut up, Prongs."

Just when he thought the situation couldn't get any worse, who else but Severus Snape stumbled through the open doorway. He'd obviously run into Mina in the hall; his enormous nose was spurting the sticky red result of the encounter, and his swollen eyes narrowed at the sight of two more Mauraders.

"Potter," the ghoulish Slytherin spat, "Black. I s'pose you're going to assault me, too."

"If you insist," giggled James. Then he fell onto the floor again, snickered for a few more moments before curling up and falling asleep.

Lightweight.

Sighing heavily as he searched for a reasonably clean handkerchief, Sirius declared, "Tempting as that sounds, I'm not in the mood. Run back to your hole, Snivellus."

Snape chose not to take advantage of the rare benevolence, remaining in the doorway and continuing to bleed as he smugly taunted, "She got you, too, it would seem."

"It would seem," snarled Sirius. He was finding it difficult not to follow Mina's example and take his frustration out on the convenient, _well_-deserving target.

The feat was made even more difficult when Snape laughed right in his face, haughty and downright joyful. "Lupin really is a rabid psycho," the Slytherin claimed, "It'll only be a matter of time before someone puts her out of her misery. Her and her abomination of a brother."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sirius growled, already rising from his seat and prepared to defend his friends.

Snape laughed again but vanished before Sirius could make him sorry he'd ever been born.

The teen sagged, muttering, "As if we didn't have enough problems..."

xxXxx

Sirius didn't often associate with people who were related to him, but with Mina still angry and James still freaked, with Remus doing prefect stuff and Peter doing... Peter stuff, the young man was kind of at a loss for meaningful companionship.

Walking alone to dinner on the day following his _fantastic_ fuckup, Sirius spotted Regulus going toward the Great Hall and chose to take the opportunity to catch up a bit with his baby brother.

"Reg," he greeted pleasantly, flinging a long arm around the boy's scrawny shoulders, "Good news! I've decided to allow you to spend the entirety of this meal basking in my awesome presence. No need to thank me. Just try to keep the fawning to a minimum."

The fourteen-year-old smirked crookedly, a little evilly, flicking black fringe out of his blue eyes and muttering, "Since when am I cool enough to be seen with?"

Sirius shrugged and declared, "Don't be dramatic, little brother. Tis the Fates that keep us apart, not I."

"You're so weird," Regulus complained, making a few token struggles as Sirius dragged him toward the deserted end of the Gryffindor table. They got some strange looks, but everyone knew they were brothers; even with rivalries the way they were, exceptions seemed to be given for relatives crossing house lines to associate with one another.

"So," Sirius began, reaching for sustenance with both hands, "I heard you made seeker. What else is new?"

"Nothing," the boy answered, sitting up straight and minding his elbows. Just like Mum taught them. Bloody obnoxious habit.

Groaning, chewing sloppily, Sirius declared, "How this works is that I need to be entertained and you need to entertain me. Or else I can't be held responsible for my actions."

With an eye roll, Regulus suggested, "Why don't we talk about why none of your friends want to come to dinner with you? I don't even remember the last time I've seen you at a meal by yourself."

"It's no big deal," Sirius grumbled, "Remus and Peter are busy, James is... probably having a breakdown. And Mina's mad at me-"

"Which explains the fat lip," Regulus said with a far-too-amused smirk.

Sirius scowled at his brother, absently tonguing the small split in his usually flawless mouth as he admitted, "I may have made several incredibly stupid comments, yes. But she'll come around. She always does."

"Remarkably," chirped Regulus. He took a few bites of his meal before casually adding, "I heard she was involved in the Diagon attack over the summer."

"If by _involved_, you mean that she was torture by psychos," Sirius clarified, still battling feelings of rage and fear surrounding the incident. After a brief moment of thought, he lowered his voice and asked, "You're not with them, Reg, are you? I know Mum and Dad are, but they're wrong. You get that?"

Clearly annoyed, Regulus huffed, "Let's not ruin a perfectly pleasant meal with politics."

Sirius growled and would've torn his brother a new arsehole had Mina not chosen that moment to make her ostentatious arrival.

"Blow it out your arse, gingersnaps!" Mina shouted as she stomped into the Hall, "I don't have to take this shit!"

Following closely behind and growing red with barely contained anger, Lily bellowed, "Oh yes you do! I am a prefect! You will treat me with respect!"

Whirling on her pursuer, Mina snarled, "The only thing that gaudy badge entitles you to is extra special toilets! Now do the whole world a favor and go drown yourself in one!"

"You won't get away with this, Lupin!" hissed the irate redhead, fists clenched and shaking at her sides, "You'll be in detention until you graduate!"

Mina cackled and teased, "Oh no! Please, don't send me to the Evans-free room! Anything but that!"

Sirius snorted into his dinner.

Watching coolly as the argument descended into further taunting and rather creative name-calling, Regulus commented, "Your friends are so... colorful."

With a proud smile, Sirius agreed, "They certainly are."

xxXxx

Remus kneaded his temples, sighed heavily and slumped back into the squashy sofa. "Mina," he began, eyes still shut in obvious exasperation, "You... you stuffed a first year inside a suit of armor."

Sitting close enough to hear but far enough away to avoid any direct involvement, Sirius tried not to snicker too noticeably.

"Ya, so?" Mina snapped, mostly concentrating on editing a long essay, "Little brat had it coming."

Her brother continued his rather valiant attempt at calmness, seeming to be reciting some soothing mental mantra. Finally, he muttered, "Explain please."

With an annoyed huff, Mina rolled her eyes and spat, "The twit's been following me around ever since the train. I figured he was harmless, but it finally got on my nerves today, so I doubled back and grabbed him. I was just going to scare him a bit, but the kid starts screaming that I'm a Death Eater and that I'm going to kill him."

Suddenly, the situation wasn't at all funny anymore.

"Turns out," Mina continued, "His older brother is an auror, and the aurors still think I had something to do with Diagon. And, since I shouldn't have to defend myself _yet again_ against such baseless accusations, and especially not from some mouthy pre-pube, I stuffed him in a suit of armor. Happy?" She snapped her book shut and stomped away up the staircase.

"That went well," James observed.

Remus groaned and let his head flop backwards, let his eyes fall shut once more. "Took me an hour to convince Lily not to report her," he sighed, "And she only agreed if Mina apologizes to the first year. Doesn't seem likely or appropriate at this point."

Flashing a bright grin, James offered, "I'd be happy to talk to Lily for you. I'm sure I can make her see that the situation wasn't entirely Mina's fault."

"Thanks but no thanks," chuckled Remus, "Having you speak with her would probably only make things that much worse... I think I'll just go to bed and figure it out in the morning. Night, mates."

"Night," Sirius called after him.

With Peter off attempting to fumble and stammer his way into some Hufflepuff's knickers, it was just Sirius and James left on either side of the fire, both shifting awkwardly in their seats and avoiding eye contact.

"Fuck this," James eventually growled, crossing to Sirius's side and flopping down into the squashy cushions. He stared sternly and demanded, "What's going on with you and Mina?"

Sirius laughed and replied, "Honestly? Nothing. We were bored and trying to figure out what to do. I joked that we could snog, and she said sure. Said I could give her lessons because she'd never been kissed and wanted to be good for when she got a _real_ boyfriend."

That still stung. Who knew that a Casanova reputation could blow up in his face?

"Anyways," Sirius went on, "You walked in on the, uh, the first."

James seemed strangely stricken by that knowledge, almost sad. He always had been a bit of a hopeless romantic. "Her first kiss?" he stammered, "Really? With you? She didn't... what about David Bell?" His face got a bit pinched up, like he'd just imagined the scenario and then been struck by a bout of intense indigestion.

"Guess it never got that far," Sirius said with a shrug. Puffing at a stray lock of long black hair, he added, "And I wouldn't worry about any repeat performances. I think I fucked up the arrangement."

With a puzzled frown, James carefully inquired, "You like her, don't you?"

Feeling himself blush, the young man insisted, "Of course I like her. She's Sunny. She's my best mate and yours, too."

"You know that's not what I meant," James prodded, cocking one eyebrow as his eyes twinkled merrily behind those thick specs, "I've seen you watching her. You always watch her... come on. I promise not to freak out again."

And, because he'd been dying to talk to someone about his predicament, Sirius found himself gushing, "I'm completely in love with her, since... pretty much the beginning of fourth year, and I don't think she'd care even if she did ever notice."

James nodded thoughtfully and then perked up, flashing a bright grin. "Well," said the teen, "If I never noticed that you were so smitten, it's a really good chance that she hasn't either. We have to step up your game, mate. I like to remind Lily of my undying love at least three times a week."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius snapped, "Ya, and how's that working for you so far?"

James stuck his tongue out. "I'm wearing down the resistance," he insisted smugly.

Sirius picked at a frayed spot in the knee of his trousers, sighing, "What if... what if I fuck things up? I could ruin us all, just because... because I have no control where she's concerned."

"I dunno, mate," James replied with a shrug, "I say go for it and damn the consequences. Better to try and fail than to never know what could've been."

"Ya," Sirius agreed. He stared absently into the fire for a few long moments before finally turning back to his friend. "Alright," the young man declared, "What's the plan?"

xxXxx

Waking with a scream stuck in her throat was hardly a new experience for Mina, but ever since being tortured by psychos, it had been happening a lot more often than she usually tolerated.

Not sleeping was generally the way to fix the problem; however, she was still going through a narcoleptic phase (a "normal sleep cycle phase" Remus insisted), her body healing from the summer's trauma and taking the opportunity to seize rest whether she wanted to or not.

Mina hated it, hated sleeping and hated having nightmares, hated waking up drenched in sweat and tangled in her covers, terrified of imagined dangers and gulping futilely for air.

Disgusted with the situation and herself, the young woman fought her way out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom, blasting the cold tap on the shower and stepping in fully clothed. She hissed in pain and shock as the icy water hit her flushed, trembling body, but a just a few minutes under the spray had her feeling overall much better, more and more by the second.

"Lupin?"

Well, until Lily Evans had to interfere

"Go away," Mina ordered, her voice a hoarse shout, barely audible by the time it got past her clacking teeth and shuddering, blue-tinged lips and the roar of the shower. Merlin, how long had she been in there?...

Red hair and freckles and dopey green eyes appeared around the edge of the stall, their owner stepping into view seconds later. Evans frowned, hugged her robe in closer and softly questioned, "Are you alright?"

"Peachy," Mina hissed, "Until you showed up."

The frown grew deeper, the cranky prefect huffing what was probably meant to be a calming breath before declaring, "You don't have to be rude. I was just concerned."

They stared at each other briefly, Mina still shivering and finally snapping, "You expecting a striptease?" Despite herself, the young woman felt the hot, swollen pressure of impending tears welling up behind her eyes. "Get lost, Evans," Mina insisted, unwilling to suffer the indignity of crying in front of... well, anyone, really, but especially _her_.

But Evans made no move to leave, staring sternly and then finally observing, "You've been having a lot more nightmares since we got back."

"Mind your own bloody business," Mina told her. Because it didn't look like the obnoxious girl was going to leave, Mina shut off the shower and went stomping toward one of the small changing stalls. She stripped out of her soaked clothing, wrapped herself in the warmth of a fresh towel and then a set of dry clothes: a baggy t-shirt and jean shorts. She took a few moments to gather her composure.

Evans was still there when Mina stepped out again, her gingery head tilted quizzically. "Why do you hate me?" she asked, matter-of-fact but somehow deeply hurt, "What did I ever do to you?"

"I hate almost everyone," Mina replied, shoving past, "What makes you think that you're special?" She hastily retreated to the dark dorm, giving an annoyed eye roll when Evans followed.

"Ok," the redhead said, "Then why do you hate almost everyone? What have _we_ ever done?"

Growling as she rifled through her trunk, Mina crowed, "Like I said, _mind your own bloody business_!"

"When you go around stuffing first years in suits of armor, it _is_ my business," Evans answered. Fists on her slim hips, the young woman continued, "The rest of the world shouldn't have to suffer just because you're-" She cut herself off, pursing her lips into a thin, colorless gash.

"I'm what?" challenged Mina, stepping right into the girl's flawless face. They were pretty much the same height, Lily maybe slightly taller. It irked Mina terribly. "Go on," she prompted, "Say it. I'm sure whatever you've come up with is nothing I haven't heard before. Deranged? Psychotic? A menace to civilized society?" Sneering against the still rising threat of tears, Mina went on, "Or perhaps you'd like to take a page out of your precious firstie's book and accuse me of being a _Death Eater_?"

Lily's expression wobbled from angry to confused to embarrassed.

Mina bellowed, "You thought I just grabbed some random brat to pick on? Well, think again! _He_ was following _me_! _He_ insulted _me_! I had every right to teach the little bastard some manners, and he's lucky I didn't do worse!" She felt a tear escape and turned away quickly, hopefully before Evans could see. Rifling through her trunk and trying not to get too choked up, Mina continued, "I'm not going to take shit off _anyone_, regardless of age, just because I happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and saying things that no one wanted to hear! Fuck the first year. Fuck the aurors. And fuck you, too, Evans. Next time you want to bitch at me, get the whole story first so that I don't have to listen to you make an arse of yourself."

Gaze down, weed in one hand and broom in the other, Mina threw herself out the window and soared off into the night.

xxXxx

On the other of the lake was a beautiful secluded little grove of trees, far enough from and out of sight of the castle and the village to get away with doing just about anything but still within view of the water. Mina usually went there with Sirius, usually to smoke (and they'd recently started a little "herb garden" as well), but with him being a prat, she settled for smoking all by her lonesome, staring out at the glassy dark water and star-lit sky, the hateful moon's monthly progress.

She was halfway through a second joint when she spotted a figure on broomstick coming across the water, feet skimming low against the surface. No surprise when the figure turned out to be Sirius.

Dropping onto the grassy bank, the young man leaned back on one hand and held the other out for a hit.

Even though she was still pretty pissed at him, Mina obliged.

They smoked in silence for nearly an hour, until Mina was thoroughly baked, pleasantly warm and completely relaxed. At some point, she started using Sirius as a pillow, the both of them watching the stars fade out of the slowly lightening sky. Sirius twirled her hair through his fingers and kept his mouth shut.

He was always good about that, not saying anything when nothing needed to be said. Remus wanted to fix every problem by talking it out; James babbled and cracked (mostly inappropriate) jokes; Peter stammered and fidgeted awkwardly. But Sirius was content to just be there when she needed him to be, a quiet, comforting presence until she was ready for more.

Breathing in his warm, dark scent, Mina snuggled against the teen's shoulder and fiddled with his half-unbuttoned shirt, the muscled flesh beneath. She smiled when she felt his breath hitch and his body tremble. "Not a prude," she murmured, "Just a spiteful bitch. It's hard to get boys when you're a spiteful bitch."

Sirius said nothing but nodded and swallowed hard, began tracing lazy runes where her t-shirt had slipped down one bony shoulder. He knew her far too well to disagree. "Sunny," he replied, "You're perfect just the way you are."

"Glad you think so," she answered, "Because you're stuck with me."

"Promise?" asked Sirius.

Mina laughed, "Promise."

Pulling her closer, Sirius sighed, "Excellent." He was silent for a few moments before venturing, "You weren't serious about not snogging anymore, were you? Because I think that would be a terrible mistake."

"Why's that?" the girl yawned.

"Because I really liked kissing you," Sirius admitted softly, "And we didn't get to do nearly enough of it before Prongs walked in."

Mostly asleep, Mina giggled, "He does have impeccable timing, doesn't he?"

"Mmm," the young man agreed.

After another brief stretch of silence, Mina declared, "Let's skip class today. Let's stay here. Please."

Nodding, Sirius murmured, "Anything you want."

The girl spent a lazy morning dozing in her best friend's arms and felt whole for the first time in months.

xxxxxxxxxx

Aw. Ain't they sweet?

Reviews are love :)


	9. Girl Talk

Part 9 - Girl Talk

"This is going to result in bloodshed," James whispered, wide-eyed and hiding slightly behind Sirius's broad shoulder as they both stared across the Transfiguration classroom at perhaps the most unwise partnership in all of history.

"A galleon says they catfight before the end of class," Sirius said with a mesmerized smile, "Another two on Sunny to win."

Fidgeting anxiously and hiding behind Sirius's other shoulder, Peter suggested, "Maybe one of us should bring Moony back from the infirmary. He's going to be pissed if anything actually goes down and we didn't try to stop it. And he's only got a cold, for once, so it's not like we can't have him here in a second."

Sirius laughed, ruffled his friend's white-blonde hair and answered, "We'll just blame McGonogall. The whole absurd experiment is all her doing anyways."

Really, who else would ever even _think _to pair Mina Lupin and Lily Evans for anything other than mud wrestling?

Sirius was distracted for a few blissful moments as he imagined such a scenario. Dreamily, the teen sighed, "I love bikinis."

James elbowed him and complained, "You have to quit smoking before class, mate."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you could see inside my head right now," the young man replied. He giggled and added, "Besides, it keeps Sunny relatively polite, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to sacrifice that perk."

Nodding absently, James agreed, "True."

xxXxx

"Are you high?" Evans hissed.

Snorting as she jabbed the snail they were supposed to be vanishing, Mina answered, "Comfortably buzzed. Why?"

Evans stammered briefly, opening and shutting her big fat mouth a few times. "I was- it was a rhetorical question!" the redhead shrieked, "You really are?"

"No," Mina taunted, rolling her eyes and laying the sarcasm on heavy like the butter on Peter's morning toast, "I've been able to tolerate your presence with no chemical intervention whatsoever. Now what the bloody hell do you want?"

Still sputtering and indignant, Evans finally declared, "I... You're doing the spell wrong. You're never going to vanish the snail that way."

"I don't want him vanished," replied Mina. She petted the creature's shell, laughing, "His name is Clarence, and he's much better conversation than you are."

Evans's cheeks burned a rather violent crimson, her clenched fists shaking at her sides. "This is _not_ working out," the young woman snarled, "I'm going to ask McGonogall if I can go back to partnering with Mary MacDonald."

Snorting, Mina declared, "I'd love for you to scamper back to Chubby-" well, to be fair, Mary had lost a lot of weight over the past summer and was looking a lot prettier. Though she was still a meek, whiny cow whose very presence was an intolerable annoyance. "But," Mina continued, "McG says she's sick of breaking up our fights. So we have to learn to _get along_."

"Impossible," snarled Evans, "You have never said even one remotely civil word to me."

"And being near you makes me want to set fires," Mina chimed, offering sweet smile. Faux whispering behind one slim hand, she added, "Not the fun kind."

Turning impossibly redder, Evans shouted, "PROFESSOR!"

xxXxx

Four of the five Marauders spilled out of their last class that Friday afternoon, laughing and hanging off each other and already looking forward to a weekend of mischief and merriment. "If Moony can shake his bitch of a cold," Mina observed, "Then we might be able to talk him into doing that thing with us."

"Which thing?" asked Peter as he jogged to keep up, "The billywig thing or the catapult thing?"

Flashing a rather wild grin, Mina replied, "The bulbadox powder thing."

"Ooo," Sirius cooed, offering an evil grin of his own, "Someone's feeling dangerous. Let's try it on Snivellus first. Greasy bastard's been getting uppity lately."

James cackled and fluffed his hair, booming, "We'll lay out the plans after dinner! I'm so bloody starving I can't think straight!"

After wrestling out of both James's and Sirius's arms, Mina danced ahead a few steps and stated, "I'll catch up, lads. Just going to take a pit stop."

"Piss like the wind, Sunny!" James shouted as he and the others tramped off toward the Great Hall.

Much more bemused than embarrassed, Mina playfully flipped him off and shoved against the crowds of students heading down to dinner. With a little effort and a lot of swearing, the young woman finally managed to locate a mostly deserted hallway with an almost always deserted loo that she could smoke out in the course of doing her business (yes, odd, but very relaxing, not to mention efficient; multitasking and all). Unfortunately, she arrived at the door at pretty much the same moment as Lily Evans.

"Merlin," Mina murmured, rolling her eyes, mentally relegating her next smoke to after dinner (preferably with Sirius as company), "I just can't seem to catch a break today." She made a point of being the first person to step inside.

"N-No!" she heard, a familiar, warbling whimper, "St-Stop! Please, stop! Ow! Please! N-No!"

"_Imperio_!" a deep voice growled in reply, the distinct crackle of spellfire silencing any further protest.

Evans turned up at Mina's side, frowning, wand out as she wordlessly pointed to two sets of feet visible beneath the farthest stall. One set was female, flailing and barely touching the ground. The other set was decidedly male, huge and solid.

Mina took a guess at what was happening and felt her blood boil.

When thinking back later on the event, Mina could never figure out how she and Evans managed to work so seamlessly together. A few quick hand gestures and significant stares and the girls had a plan, were moving soundlessly toward the stall. Mina stepped into the next one over, climbed onto the toilet and crouched while Evans got into position at the door, carefully spelled the lock open but held the shaking wood panel in place.

In the same instant, Evans wrenched the door open, and Mina stood; Evans grabbed Mary MacDonald around the waist and pulled her free while Mina blasted the attacker with the nastiest series of jinxes and curses her rage-clouded mind could conjure.

Finally, the room was quiet once more.

Though she had a hard time making out his pretty-boy features past the various disfigurements, Mina was finally able to determine that the attacker was a seventh-year Slytherin by the name of Aristides Mulciber—Ari to his friends and fellow psychopaths (two of whom were none other than Snivellus and Sirius's idiot brother) (all of them usually hung around the dungeons, their heads together as they jerked each other off to whispers of blood and Blood.)

Mina must've spaced out while she was thinking because when she snapped back into full awareness, she found herself in the middle of (literally) kicking the shit out of the unconscious young man, with absolutely no recollection of having started. She stopped, panting hard, and leveled off just two more spells: one Incarcerous to bind Mulciber and one Patronus to summon the headmaster. The wispy yet fierce she-wolf streaked off like a rocket.

Only after all that was done did she check on Evans and MacDonald. Both girls were on the floor, MacDonald sort of unconscious, maybe. It was hard to tell because her big dark eyes were opened but fixed and empty, her whole body slack and completely unresponsive even though Evans had MacDonald's head in her lap, had tears streaming down her cheeks as she tenderly stroked MacDonald's forehead and whispered that it was ok, Mary, everything was ok now.

MacDonald's shirt had been ripped in half, her skirt clean off. Her panties hung in scraps that barely protected a last shred of modesty.

Mina didn't manage to look away in time not to notice the blood.

Shaky and nauseas, she took a jumper out of her bag and spread it over MacDonald's plump thighs, collapsed bonelessly beside her on the floor.

xxXxx

"Why are they keeping us in here?" Evans demanded, pacing the headmaster's office like she had been for the past... oh, about three hours straight, "Why won't they tell us what's happening with Mary?"

"I don't know," Mina sighed. She was exhausted. Counted backwards and realized it had been nearly three days since she'd last slept, hadn't eaten a real meal since dinner the night before. The boys had to be worried sick about her, and if she didn't get to talk to at least one of them soon, she was going to scream.

Hell, if she didn't get to talk to someone besides Evans soon, Mina was going to just settle for ritual suicide. There was a shiny letter opener on the desk that looked like it would do the job quite nicely...

"I can't believe this happened," the redhead ranted softly, still wearing out the carpet, "I knew there were some bad seeds at Hogwarts, but _this_? This kind of thing... it's just not _possible_!"

Mina didn't say anything, but apparently Evans took that as an invitation to keep talking, spindly arms fluttering as she babbled, "And he used the Imperius Curse on her! What kind of person _does_ that? How does a seventeen-year-old wizard even manage to cast that spell in the first place? And what he did to her while she was under-"

"Evans!" Mina interrupted, kneading her throbbing temples, "Would shut your enormous mouth for _two minutes_ before my head explodes?"

With a glare that would've sent a lesser person running for safety, Evans finally did stop and let herself fall into the chair beside Mina's. The redhead took a few shaky breaths and, even though only about fifteen seconds had passed, immediately started up again. "I just hope Mary is alright," she muttered, voice warbling like she was going to start crying again at any second, "She was... she didn't even _move_, not even when all the professors rushed in and carried her away..."

Mina heard the other girl sniffle and did her best to bite back a growl. She didn't handle other people's tears very well. Or at all.

"You really messed Mulciber up," Evans observed, a hint of a smile in her voice as she smudged her dewy green eyes, "Though I shouldn't condone such a thing, it was excellent."

Regarding the prefect skeptically, Mina answered, "Thanks. You weren't completely useless yourself." Evans turned to smirk at her, and Mina hastily added, "I mean, Chub- er, MacDonald might've been conscious or not, but either way, I guess she'd appreciate having you sit with her like that. Talk to her, tell her everything's alright. More than if I'd had to do it, anyways, since I'm so bad at that sort of thing... and since she's kind of terrified of me..."

Mina trailed off and stared out the window, watched the stars coming out. She tried to hide a wince as a particularly violent throb sent her headache from Minor Nuisance to Full-Blown Agony. She knew the quickest fix for the situation, but smoking weed in the headmaster's office, with Evans of all people present as a witness, might've been where Mina actually drew the line as far as rule-breaking went.

But, it turned out, not really. Not if the headache and lingering nausea were strong enough, if the knot around her heart refused to subside. Or maybe her grandmother was right: she really did just have a pathological need to break rules in blatant ways. "Fuck it," Mina murmured, standing and throwing open one of the wide windows, announcing, "Evans, I'll owe you a huge favor if you pretend to be blind for awhile."

"What?" the redhead answered, joining Mina on the sill, "What's that supposed to mean? What are you doing?"

Mina sighed and murmured, "I'm going to smoke some pot, because I have a killer headache and if I don't, I'll throw up and pass out." When she didn't get immediately shrieked at, the young woman smirked and offered, "You're welcome to join. Might calm your nerves."

"I-I- no, I shouldn't," Evans stammered. Though she looked a bit tempted, maybe even hesitantly interested. Well now. Perhaps she wasn't such a goodie-goodie after all.

Seeing a rare opportunity to force some misbehavior upon her nemesis, Mina grinned and wiggled the baggie of weed in the girl's face. "Not even if I lay on the peer pressure?" Mina teased.

Evans rolled her eyes. "That stuff is bad for you," she insisted prissily.

"Actually," Mina argued, nimble fingers packing the bowl of her sleek glass pipe (a recent for-no-reason gift from Sirius, who had been distressingly sweet since their aborted snogging attempt), "It's fantastic. And I've been told that I'm loads more pleasant after smoking it."

Snorting, Evans countered, "How would anyone ever tell?"

"Oi," Mina said with a smirk, "Didn't kill you today in Transfiguration, did I? In fact, I took the whole thing in stride! You're the nutter-butter who screamed at McG for twenty minutes!"

Evans blushed guiltily as she watched Mina light and hit the pipe. When Mina held it out, Evans took the piece and, after some brief operating instructions, put it to her own lips. The redhead got barely half a breath before she began coughing violently into her fist.

Mina finally let the smoke loose from her own lungs, laughing as she puffed it out the open window.

"Cor," Evans gasped, holding the pipe at arm's length, "It's _awful_!"

"Everybody does that the first time," Mina soothed. She took another hit and then handed it back, stating, "Once or twice more and you'll be fine."

Evans spluttered a bit but complied, passing the pipe back and forth with Mina until they were both substantially more relaxed.

Mina was at a nice buzz, her headache entirely gone when she heard movement on the stairs. "Shit," she swore softly, banishing the evidence to her bag, spraying out a few air-freshening charms as she dragged a dopey, docile Evans back to her seat.

"Hey," Evans said with a frown, "You made the room smell like cherries! Our dorm always smells like cherries..."

Snorting, Mina arranged the girl in a somewhat respectable pose and stated, "I'm sure the two are entirely unrelated. Now, listen, let me do the talking. If they start asking you questions and you get too lost, just cry. Alright?"

Evans nodded firmly. "I don't usually do bad things like this," she moped, picking morosely at a freckle near her knee, "I just... Mary... I..."

"Fascinating," Mina interrupted, falling into her own chair just in time for the door to open and the headmaster to step inside.

xxXxx

"Sunny!" she heard as soon as she got out of sight of the office entrance. Mina barely had time to turn before she was grabbed roughly and swung off her feet, Sirius's familiar, comforting scent overwhelming her senses. An earthy mix of sweat and smoke and sarcasm.

"You and Lily didn't get into it again, did you?" she heard James ask, the young man probably already glued to the redhead's side, "We saw you both in there on the Map, and we've been waiting for _hours_! What the hell happened?"

But Mina couldn't answer, didn't think she'd be able to open her mouth without screaming. Possibly sobbing. She shuddered and buried her face against Sirius's neck.

"Sunny?" the young man inquired worriedly, tenderly petting her back, "Sunshine? Hey, c'mon. Talk to me."

"Let's just go," Mina croaked, clinging fiercely, "Please. We have to... I have to get out of here."

"Of course," Sirius readily agreed, half-carrying her down the hallway as the rest followed, as Lily wept into James's shoulder.

xxXxx

"MacDonald says she doesn't remember a thing," Mina finished the story, shivering and shell-shocked, "Mulciber is saying they were snogging and that we attacked them for no reason. That it was because he's a Slytherin... and since the Imperius had already worn off, it's his word against ours. They're basically just calling the whole thing a wash."

"That's _absurd_!" James crowed, appropriately incensed yet still fighting a goofy grin as Lily slumped passively under his arm.

With a disgusted huff, Mina snarled, "That's politics for you. Evans is muggle-born, and apparently I'm an enemy of the state, so even both of us together don't count for quite as much Mr. Pure-Blood, Daddy-Writes-Blank-Checks-to-the-Ministry Mulciber. He probably could've had his way with MacDonald on the staff table at breakfast and still gotten away with it."

Mina's anger was certainly much more familiar and comforting than her little breakdown earlier, but Sirius could still feel her trembling uncontrollably against his side. He squeezed her tighter and did his best not to smile when she snuggled closer.

Peter decided to break his consistent wide-eyed quiet, timidly suggesting, "Maybe Mary... maybe she'll remember-"

"Oh, wake up, Pete," Mina growled, "She remembers. She _says_ she doesn't, but one look at her face... she remembers _everything_. She's just too much of a coward to say so."

"You don't know that!" argued Lily. Her voice was still a bit hoarse, her eyes still a bit wet (and bloodshot, ha), but she was mostly back to being her bossy, opinionated, obnoxious self. "What Mary went through was horrible!" the redhead snapped, "How _dare _you call her a coward!"

"Of course what she went through was horrible!" Mina snarled in reply, "But MacDonald just gave a rapist a free pass, and you can bet your arse that he and all his loathsome friends are going to take it as permission to do the same thing over and over again! I'm not alright with that, are you?" With the most deadly of glares, she spat, "Or maybe you're just trying to get Snivellus laid by any means necessary?"

Lily's face turned an absolutely irate shade of purple-red, the young woman shoving James's arm away as she stood and stalked out of the empty classroom without another word.

Groaning, James let himself flop backwards to the floor. "Sunny," he whined, "That was a little cruel."

More than a little, but Sirius wasn't going to be the one to point that out. James was probably about to be beaten quite severely.

But, surprisingly, that didn't happen. Mina shuddered again, near tears as she hissed, "I want Mulciber's head on a pike."

Sirius exchanged glances with James and Peter, for once glad that Remus wasn't there since he wouldn't have permitted any such thing. "We'll see what we can do," the teen declared, petting her disheveled sandy hair.

_Anything for you, Sunshine_, he thought to himself.

xxXxx

When Remus did finally hear about what happened and Mina's preferred retaliation, he spent a week glued firmly to his sister's side. Trying to keep her calm and, probably more importantly, trying to keep her from having any alone time with her disturbing revenge fantasies or the tools to make them a reality.

Of course, the flaw in his plan was that the other Marauders had already been enlisted and worked perfectly well independent of Mina's input. Actually, they sometimes worked better without her input, especially in situations like that one, when her mind was so clouded by rage that every suggestion she made ended with "and then he dies a fiery, painful, humiliating death, and I dance around him laughing, 'Burn, fucker! Burn!'"

"Where are we even going to find a pike?" Peter inquired as they sat in a dark back corner of the Hog's Head, waiting to meet their accomplices.

Chuckling into a pint, James answered, "The pike is taken care of. I sort of know a guy. And anyways, the pike isn't even the difficult part of the scheme."

"Right," Sirius contributed, "The difficult part will be convincing Sunny not to actually kill the dumb bastard once we're through."

"You are such idiots," Charlotte Duncan declared as she and her incognito boyfriend fell into the free seats on the opposite side of the sticky table.

Grinning, Andre Johnson shed his stylish sunglasses and muttered, "You're the one who wants to help them, love."

"Because what Mulciber did was atrocious," Charlotte hissed, sleek black hair swept neatly away from her dark forehead, "MacDonald is just about the sweetest, most harmless girl who ever lived, and the monster that hurt her is going to pay."

"Yes, dear," Andre readily agreed.

The former Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, respectively, were both well on their way to outstanding professional quidditch careers. Sirius had made a mint on Charlotte's first game in the pros; Mina wasn't the biggest fan of their former captain and had let her personal feelings override her common sense when it came to placing their usual bets. Whatever. Sirius ended up spending most of his winnings on gifts trying to win Mina over anyways. Not that the strategy seemed to be working...

The Marauders had been slightly hesitant to ask for Charlotte's help, but they needed someone (two someones, actually) who could apparate and who would actually go along with the scheme. Charlotte fit both requirements and came with the added perk of being able to make her boyfriend do pretty much anything, including that particular vastly illegal stunt, which had occurred to James while he was soaking in the tub.

"When are we doing this?" Charlotte demanded, no nonsense as always as she waved for a drink.

"Next Hogsmeade visit," James reported, rifling through some papers, "It's this weekend. Here's the instructions. In theory, everything should work perfectly."

"In theory," Andre noted skeptically. He grabbed James's notes away and observed, "But then again, purposely splinching someone else's head off and not killing them in the process is potentially complicated."

"Not as much as you'd think," James answered with a sinister little cackle.

Snorting at his friend, Sirius reminded, "Just make sure you do it at the right time so that the rest of us will have nice public alibis."

"No problem," Charlotte yawned. Her drink arrived, and the slim young woman downed it in one impressive gulp before standing and dragging Andre with her. "We're off then," she declared, "See you boys in two days."

After they were gone, Peter remarked, "That was easy."

Sirius nodded and declared, "Let's just hope our luck holds out."

xxXxx

Mina caught her brother's cold and spent the rest of the weekend and next week hacking and snarling, terrorizing the student body. She always did get dangerous when she was sick, and adding that on top of her lingering fury over the Mulciber situation was like spitting kerosene into the face of an angry dragon.

Fortunately, the girl mostly recovered by the time Saturday came around. She was still pale and sniffling but let herself be dragged along on a trip to the Three Broomsticks; she talked and joked and generally seemed to enjoy herself, teasing Peter mercilessly when he split his pants and ribbing James about the patchy little evil-genius goatee he was trying to grow (because he wanted something to stroke in a sinister manner when the rest of their plan went into effect; they really needed to limit his television exposure).

The first shrieks came right on time, and Sirius could honestly say that pretending to be surprised was difficult. He was so excited to rush to the meeting place to see if their plan had worked, but they'd all agreed that the alibi was more important. They, and Mina especially, would probably be the number one suspects.

"What do you think that's all about?" Sunny murmured, already standing to investigate, running into a gawking crowd as soon as she exited the building. Elbowing Zane Creevy, one of the Gryffindor chasers, Mina demanded, "What's going on?"

Zane was a sixth year but, like most students and faculty at Hogwarts, absolutely terrified of Mina even though she'd never done anything to him specifically. "Uh," he gaped, backing away slowly, "I-I don't know. Just... Mulciber... they said he got kidnapped. Two people grabbed him and apparated away."

Mina grinned broadly. "Really?" she asked, excitement clear and uninhibited, "Did they look like they meant him harm?"

Zane's eyes went wide. "I-I don't know," he stammered, "I didn't see."

Mina snickered giddily, and Zane used the opportunity to flee for his life.

"Did you hear?" she squealed, in a better mood Sirius had seen in days, "Mulciber's been abducted! Do you think karma will see to his torture? Ooo, I hope he gets sodomized by a particularly well-endowed hippogriff!"

After a long buildup, the poor girl actually might've finally tumbled headlong into psychopathy.

"Er," James began, he and Peter exchanging classic _maybe this wasn't such a good idea_ glances, "I dunno. Guess it depends who he pissed off."

Nodding, Pete agreed, "I'm sure a person makes a lot of enemies when he goes around raping defenseless girls and being general Death Eater scum."

"True," hummed Mina. She _giggled_, which was disturbing all by itself but even more so when the girl _skipped_ back into the Three Broomsticks.

xxXxx

The handoff went smoothly, Charlotte passing a small sack to Sirius and then apparating away with a sharp _crack_. Johnson was in the process of ditching the bulk of Mulciber's useless body somewhere it would be found quickly... but not too quickly.

A few days later, they told Sunny that they had a surprise for her. News that Mulciber was headless in St. Mungo's and would remain that way until his missing parts were located had had the girl practically walking on air, and she agreed brightly when her friends said to meet them on the far side of the lake.

"What's this about, boys?" Mina hummed, raising a thin eyebrow at the covered tank in James's arms.

"We got you a present!" Peter squeaked.

Mina frowned at them, insisting, "I've been sleeping. I swear."

"Not that," laughed Sirius, "This is something you've actually been wanting." With no further ado, he pulled the cover off the tank.

Inside: a rather ugly fish.

"Is that..." Mina began, smile twitching in obvious amusement, "Mulciber's head on a pike?"

"Yup," James quipped proudly. He sloshed the water a bit, making the blind-folded man-fish bubble out a muffled yelp, "From us to you, love."

Mina just stared at the creature for a long time, mouth curled up into an absolutely blissful smile. And then she busted out laughing, loud and bright and so hard that tears of mirth streamed down her pretty face, that she doubled over and ended up rolling on the ground. She held her quivering stomach and kicked her feet up and gasped for air until her face flushed bright red and she was so breathless that she couldn't make anymore sound.

Sirius fell in love all over again.

xxXxx

Mina was thrown out of class a half dozen times in the following week for unexplained, uncontrollable laughing jags. And she just couldn't stop, not knowing that Mulciber's head had been transfigured onto the body of a fish and then released into the wild, that he would be swimming around in the Black Lake until she deemed him to have suffered sufficiently for his heinous crimes.

The teen wasn't sure she would ever decide that he deserved to be rescued.

She _loved_ her friends. There was no one else in the world who could make her almost piss herself laughing, who would risk being locked up in Azkaban just to make her rather sadistic revenge fantasies a slightly skewed reality. They were good boys, every last one.

"Move it, blubber butt," Mina crowed, crowding Mary out of the way of the bathroom. The dark-haired girl had finally returned to their dorm, but Mina was determined not to give her any special treatment. According to the spineless wonder, nothing had happened; there'd been no assault and no rape, so why the fuck should Mina walk on eggshells for her?

Dark eyes liquid and red rimmed, Mary sniffled and shuffled into one of the shower stalls.

Mina felt guilty for a few seconds but shrugged it off; Chubby had no one but herself to blame.

Of course, Evans disagreed. "Stop it," she hissed, stepping in Mina's path, "Leave her alone!"

"Or what?" Mina snapped in reply, "I think we've already established that she's not going to lift a finger to defend herself, and, besides, she said nothing happened. Why should I treat her any differently than I always have if nothing happened?"

"Because it's what a _decent_ person would do," the redhead hissed.

"Oh, Evans," Mina laughed tauntingly, "Aren't we past such labels? I mean, I'm a delinquent, you're a tight-arse, she's a chubby coward. We all have to be ourselves and still find a way to peacefully coexist. It's practically utopian."

The prefect stared at her like she'd grown an extra head... which made Mina think of heads in general and Mulciber's in particular. Before she knew it, Mina was cackling breathlessly and wincing as her still sore muscles throbbed in protest to yet more hilarity.

Evans slapped her hard across the face.

Mina stopped laughing entirely, holding her stinging cheek and gaping at her equally startled roommate.

xxXxx

Upon hearing the first scream, Sirius's first thought was that a banshee had gotten into the Tower. He and most of the rest of the occupants of the common room tensed in fright, a few jumping to their feet and whipping out wands as they scanned the area for an immediate threat.

"**I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING _CUNT_!**"

Sirius relaxed in a second, actually smirking because it was just Sunny. She'd always had a wicked set of pipes, and he wondered what the girl was so upset about.

But that was before he heard the unmistakable sounds of a fight, before she and Evans came tumbling down the stairs in a biting, scratching, punching, bleeding tangle, before they rolled along the common room floor tearing at each other's hair and eyes and clothing.

He was particularly interested in the clothing, especially when Evans ripped Mina's uniform shirt straight down the middle. Buttons flew in every direction, one of them nearly blinding a helpless third year. Poor lad. He didn't even get to appreciate the delectable swell of Mina's ample and barely contained chest...

...

Holy Merlin! Finally, a real live cat fight! Sirius had to pinch himself to make sure that he wasn't dreaming.

"YES!" he cheered jubilantly, raising his fists and voice triumphantly over the stunned, horrified stupor of the rest of the room, "GO SUNNY! KICK HER ARSE!" He watched, mesmerized and committing every moment (and every polka dot of Mina's bra) to memory.

"Padfoot!" James scolded, for once unamused by either of his friends' antics, "Just help me pull them apart before McGonogall sees!"

Sirius tried to warn him, yelping, "Prongs! Wait!" He even went so far as trying to grab James by the collar but was unsuccessful in preventing the bespectacled lad from rushing right into the middle of the melee.

"Ok, you can stop n- OW! Sunny! It's me! Just stop a sec- FUCK! EVANS! THAT'S _MY_ ANKLE! What the-" _CRASH_ "AHHHHHH! HEEEEEELP!"

xxxxxxxxxx

First post of the new year. Woo. Hope everyone had safe and happy holidays :)


	10. RJL

Part 10 - RJL

"Are you _still _pouting?" Mina inquired, twirling a fork through her elegant fingers as she smirked across the table, "I said I was sorry. And I didn't even really mean it, so that should count for double."

Sporting a heavily bruised cheekbone, nursing a small bald patch where Evans had ripped out a handful of his precious hair, James scowled and recounted, "You made the woman I love beat the crap out of me. And before I'd even had my breakfast."

"I didn't _make_ anyone do anything," the sandy-haired teen argued, speech just slightly slurred around a still slightly fat lip, "And I _certainly_ didn't tell you to jump between us. That fight was long overdue. You only complicated it with your presence."

James gaped at her, gaze narrowed quizzically. "Sometimes I worry about you," he finally declared.

Mina snorted and speared a piece of broccoli, quipping, "Join the club. I hear they meet Thursdays in the Astronomy Tower." She flicked the broccoli at Peter's ear and then theatrically groaned, "UGH! I cannot _believe_ McG is making me do detention with that stuck-up bitch all the way up until _Christmas_! It's downright _cruel_!"

"Maybe you should just consider yourself lucky," Remus piped up, not bothering to remove his nose from his book, "You didn't even get kicked off the quidditch team. And with your record, they could've gone as far as expulsion."

"Not in a million years," the girl answered with a cocky sideways smirk, "They'd miss me too much. I keep everyone's lives interesting."

Sirius snorted into his dinner, fondly agreeing, "You certainly do, Sunshine."

He must've been staring too obviously again because James nudged him pointedly under the table. Good man.

No one else seemed any the wiser. Certainly not Mina, who just huffed and dumped another portion of chicken onto her distracted brother's plate. He _had_ been looking a bit thin lately (already stressing about OWLs, the nerd), and it was sweet how she took such good care of him.

Ah, the mystery that was Romina Joy Lupin: she'd smack-down with a roommate one minute and dote on her brother the next. Sweet Merlin, he loved her...

"Well, lads," the girl chirped, snagging a basket of rolls and an entire chocolate cake, "I'm off. Make sure Moony finishes his dinner!"

In a rare show of public rebellion, the Lupin in question cheerfully flipped his sister the bird.

Sirius and then Peter applauded heartily.

"Put in a good word!" James called after the fleeing female Marauder. At the girl's brief over-the-shoulder glare, he added, "Oi! Sunny! C'mon! You owe me one!" He watched her leave before turning back, sulking, "She's not going to put in a good word."

"If it makes you feel any better," Remus stated coolly, "I doubt a good word from Mina would score any points with Lily. In fact, it would most likely have the exact opposite effect."

Prongs frowned. "True," he mourned.

xxXxx

It was Sirius's fault, but mostly Peter's; he was the clueless half-wit who ended up spilling the beans.

"Padfoot," the ridiculously pale boy questioned, flapping a parchment of Charms notes into the air, "What's this you've written over and over in the margin? RJL?"

Sirius felt his heart seize up and fell off the bed trying to snatch the offending document away from the offending clueless _moron_.

Unfortunately, Sirius's bed was not next to Peter's; Remus's and James's beds were on either side of Peter's, and Remus grabbed the parchment before Sirius or even James could stop him.

As he struggled up from the floor, Sirius could practically hear Moony's quizzical frown, hear the gears ticking away in his too-smart brain before the teenage werewolf finally questioned, "Padfoot?" There was a wary, dangerous sort of calm in his smooth, even voice, "Why have you been writing RJL in the margins of your notes?"

"Er..." he gaped, trying to ignore the painful throb where his arse had met the floor, "It stands for... 'Really Juicy Limes'?" _Not your beloved baby sister's initials, of course_... "You know how I love my citrus. Warding off scurvy and all..."

Skeptically arching a sandy eyebrow (a painfully endearing gesture that he and Mina shared), Remus declared, "Somehow I doubt that." He examined the parchment, considered the carefully, repeatedly, obsessively drawn letters and the horribly embarrassing hearts surrounding them. Accusingly, he asked, "Do you have something you'd like to share?"

"Moony," Sirius declared, a last, pitiful resort as he remembered that the twins had the same initials, "I love you. I always have. Run away with me?"

James and Peter promptly fell off their beds laughing, getting tangled in piles of dirty laundry as they flopped about gasping for air.

Unfortunately, Remus was not at all amused, his stare getting more and more threatening by the second.

See, _that_ was why Sirius hated studying! It never led to anything good, and he was never _ever_ going to let Remus talk him into doing it again!

Some merciful higher power decided to grant the young man a temporary reprieve in the form of Professors McGonogall and Dumbledore both choosing that moment to appear in the doorway.

All four boys stared at them in utter confusion, each trying to think of what horrible thing he could've possibly done to warrant such an unprecedented late-night visit...

"Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore began somberly, suddenly seeming so much older than his usual ancient, "I'm afraid I have some tragic news..."

xxXxx

"What're we s'posta be lookin' fo' again?" Mina questioned around yet another blissful mouthful of gooey chocolate wonderfulness. She was very experienced at detentions and knew never to show up to one without snacks. Usually she'd offer to share, but not with Evans. The evil little ginger could starve for all Mina cared.

Huffing dramatically as she held her wand tip high to light their way through the spooky forest, Evans declared, "A fire-crab that got loose during Care of Magical Creatures."

"Why's it called a fire-crab?" Mina inquired absently, more than a little buzzed from a fat pre-detention joint. She delightedly licked a smear of frosting off the back of her fork, "They don't look anything like crabs. They look like tortoises. Why aren't they called fire-tortoises? That would make loads more sense." She shoveled another bite of cake into her mouth but didn't let that stop her from continuing, "And why de hell would anyone want a creature dat rockets fire out its arse anyways? Dey certainly shouldn' be cared fo'."

"They're _endangered_," Evans hissed.

Mina snorted at her and swallowed thickly, taunting, "Such hostility, gingersnap. You know, I could fix that for you right quick."

"I am not _smoking_ again," the redhead snarled, still sporting a pretty nasty shiner from their brawl that morning (which Mina totally won, hands down), "I shouldn't have done it the first time! I wouldn't have if I hadn't been so upset about Mary!"

"Just keep telling yourself that," Mina hummed.

They walked along in tense silence for another few minutes, futilely scanning the dark woods for any sign of a flame-farting not-really-a-crab fire-crab. Well, Mina wasn't putting in much effort. They weren't likely to locate the creature, but they only had to stay out searching until midnight. And Mina still had half a cake, as well as a whole basket of rolls shrunk in her pocket. She smirked wickedly as she heard Evans's stomach growl.

Finally, Evans bellowed, "I want you to leave Mary alone! Stop picking on her!"

"Why should I?" challenged Mina.

Stomping and clenching her fists, Evans shouted, "What the hell kind of attitude is that? You should leave her alone because she hasn't done anything to you ever! Do you actually _enjoy_ torturing her for no reason at all? Do you and your pack of arrogant toerags get off on making other people's lives as miserable as your own?"

"You're delusional," Mina snapped, "And you don't know shit about us or our lives. Why don't you just mind your own bloody business _for once_ and stop trying to control everyone? Better yet, unclench, remove the stick from your arse, and have some fun like a _normal_ person!"

Evans's arm twitched like she was going to throw a punch, but the redhead stopped herself. Closed her eyes and breathed deeply in and out a few times.

Mina scoffed loudly and walked away, not caring if her partner followed. They were supposed to stay together, but managing to lose Evans would be a major bonus. Especially if she could then find a way to blame Evans as well. Or if Evans just stayed lost.

As soon as she was out of sight of the redhead, Mina got a very wicked idea and immediately ran with it, morphing into a sleek, sandy she-wolf. She savored the excellent night vision and the rush of intense scents that filled her snout, hearing every chirp and snap that filled the forest for miles in every direction.

They were all ready for the next full moon.

She slunk silently around behind Evans, watching as the girl grew more nervous, as she called hesitantly for Mina and eventually began shouting that hiding _so_ wasn't funny.

Mina disagreed, laughing internally and giving a loud howl that nearly made Evans wet herself. The girl only stayed and freaked out for a few more minutes before sprinting back toward the castle.

Figuring that detention was as good a time as any for a forest romp, Mina had herself a bit of fun running as fast as she could go through the trees, howling occasionally and relishing the wind and the darkness and the pure _freedom_ she always felt in that form. She rolled through the leaf litter, marked a few trees, and harassed a family of rabbits before finally, literally tripping over the damn fire-crab.

She had to morph back briefly to put out the small forest fire it started and then stun the stupid thing; she didn't want it shooting flames in her face when she closed it carefully in her teeth and dashed off back to the school. She was a few miles out by then, but journeys were always much faster on four legs.

Mina was maybe halfway home when she caught a familiar scent. After stopping and waiting expectantly, she was rewarded seconds later by a big, shaggy black dog crashing out of the brush.

She yipped happily and greeted Padfoot with a customary tackle, disappointed when he whined sadly and refused to wrestle. Within a few moments, they were both back in human form, sitting side by side on the forest floor.

"Come to keep me company?" Mina laughed, grabbing the stunned fire-crab and tossing it into the air a few times, "I've always wanted to play catch with an endangered species."

"Sunny," Sirius began, soft and mournful as he carefully took her hand in both of his, "Something's happened."

All playfulness dropped away in a second as the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. "Is Remus alright? The boys?" she demanded frantically, already trying to jump up.

"They're all fine," Sirius soothed. He made her stay sitting, tenderly stroked her knuckles and palm, looked deeply into her eyes. He had nice eyes, gray and almost always glimmering with depraved laughter. That night, they were distressingly sad and heartfelt. Almost hypnotically so...

"Your grandmother died last night," Sirius murmured, drawing Mina sharply out of her daydream.

"What?" the girl gaped, snatching her hand back with a nervous but disbelieving laugh, "No. That's not possible. The old bat's going to live forever just to spite me. She says so herself all the time."

Sirius laid a warm, comforting arm around her shoulders, calmly reporting, "Dumbledore sent an owl about your fight, and when she never answered, he had someone go check on her. She went in her sleep, love. The healers said it was peaceful. Painless."

Mina stared at the kind, handsome boy for a few moments before finally reporting, "You're wrong."

"I'm sorry, Sunshine," he murmured, squeezing her close, "I'm so sorry."

"Shut up!" Mina screamed, shoving him away as she scrambled to her feet. She snatched up the fucking fire-crab and stormed madly toward the castle.

Sirius finally stopped her in the entryway, reporting that he was supposed to bring her up to the headmaster's office, that Remus was already waiting there with James and Peter.

Mina absolutely didn't believe Sirius until she finally saw her brother, saw the barely contained tears of shock and loss in his wide amber eyes.

"Mina," the boy called, looking and sounding five-years-old again.

She was at his side in an instant, gathering Remus into her arms. And that was all it took before he began to weep.

xxXxx

The funeral was lovely. They couldn't have asked for better weather, and their father never bothered to show his ungrateful face.

Remus had stopped crying days ago, but he spared just a few more tears for Grandmother's graveside and gave a truly touching eulogy.

Mina couldn't get the image of the tombstone out of her head.

Flowing script letters carved into glistening black marble. Classy but simple. Fitting.

_Demetria Eugenia Lupin_.

All that they had left of the woman who saved them.

As much as Mina fought with Grandmother, the girl had no illusions about that at least. Grandmother hadn't been perfect. Hell, Mina didn't even particularly like the old bat. But it was because of her that they were rescued from the abuse of their psychotic mother and spared the influence of their selfish father.

And now they were all alone.

Mina didn't feel much like participating in the wake (making nice with stodgy old pure-bloods who always turned their noses up at the "half-blooded mongrels" that had polluted the Lupin line), so she hid up in her room instead, trying and failing to find a tear to shed.

As soon as she heard the knock, she knew it was Sirius. Remus would be playing the gracious host, and neither of the other two boys ever managed to make her feel any better in situations like that one; they'd stopped trying years ago.

"Sunny?" Sure enough, the brawny black-haired teen came creeping carefully inside, stretching out beside her on the bed. Clearing his throat lamely, he reported, "I brought you some food."

"Thanks," she murmured, taking the plate but not bothering to even pick at it, setting it aside after only a few moments.

Sirius put his arm around her. She rested her head against his chest. They lay like that for what could've been hours.

"I didn't even like her," Mina finally reported, kind of horrified to find her throat welling up, "She was such a bitch to me most of the time."

"I know," Sirius soothed.

Sniffling, the girl went on, "She was always complaining about the way I dress, they way I do my hair. Hell, even the way my boobs were growing. She wanted me to act nice and marry respectable. She barely knew me and didn't care to. And I-" She had to swallow around an insistent lump, "I didn't even know her real name until I saw it on the headstone."

Sirius's nimble fingers began tracing familiar runes down the length of her spine, scandalously bare in a new funeral dress. "There are a lot of different kinds of love," he murmured, "Yours just happened to be slightly... adversarial."

Mina giggled into his shoulder, suddenly so exhausted she could barely keep her eyes open. "Moony been improving your vocabulary again?" she chuckled.

"It's amazing what sticks in my freak show of a brain," Sirius laughed in reply. There was a few more minutes of silence before he asked, "You want to do something?"

"No," she replied tiredly, feeling the wetness in her eyes finally, sluggishly spill over, "Just... stay?"

The deep rumble of his voice gave her a pleasant case of shivers. "Of course, Sunshine," he said, drawing a distinct heart between her shoulder blades, "Always."

xxXxx

Sirius was actually rather surprised by just how little changed. At least initially. Both twins were back at school within a week, after the full moon (the Marauders put off joining Moony for the next month) and after settling with Madame Lupin's lawyers. The old woman gained much esteem in Sirius's book when he heard that she'd not only disinherited her deadbeat son, but also managed to have his parental rights to the twins completely severed. Cassius Lupin would have no chance of selling Mina off into some pure-blood marriage.

Guardianship technically went to Dumbledore, but that was mostly a formality, especially since it would only apply for about another year and a half. Mina said that the old man had spoken to them and would be fine with letting them spend holidays pretty much wherever they wanted, as long as they told him where and had proper adult supervision and checked in regularly. And since their grandmother had left them a not extravagant but certainly respectable fortune, as well as Lupin Manor and everything in it, Remus and Mina were practically fully independent at the tender age of fifteen.

Sirius was so bloody jealous he almost couldn't stand it.

"It's technically a trust," Mina clarified the night she returned, she and her weary-eyed brother huddled together on his bed, "Dumbledore is in charge of everything until we're of-age, but we just have to tell him when we want to access the money. Our worthless father can't touch a cent." She grinned crookedly and rested her head on Remus's shoulder, adding, "You should've seen his face when he found out. It was fucking priceless."

"Totally," Remus agreed, actually conjuring a sadistic smirk of his own, "Bloody bastard didn't even bother to sober up before the will reading."

Bouncing restlessly on his own bed, the second from the door, James declared, "What a sleaze."

Mina hummed in agreement and then jumped to her feet, hurriedly gasping, "Shit! What time is it?"

Peter glanced at his bedside clock. "Nearly seven."

"_Shit_," she repeated, dashing about trying to find the shoes and jacket she'd shed upon entering, "I have detention!"

"Really?" Peter squeaked, clearly appalled, "I thought McGonogall excused you."

"Only until I got back," Sunny babbled, diving under Prong's bed and emerging with a moldy sock caught in her hair. She barely blinked as she shucked it off and began wrestling into her recovered sneaker. "McG's already tacking on extra sessions to make up for ones I missed," the girl said, scrambling out the door, "She'll flay me if I'm late! Ta, boys! Don't wait up!"

And then she was gone. Sirius didn't even realize that he was staring dreamily after her until Remus coughed pointedly. By the time Sirius finally turned back, the sandy-haired werewolf looked distinctly annoyed. And he was holding the incriminating Charms notes with RJL doodled throughout the margins.

Oh. Right. How could Sirius have forgotten that awkwardness?

"Wishful thinking," the young man answered himself, "Same thing keeps happening to my Potions homework."

"Padfoot," Remus growled, unusually exasperated with what had turned into a quite frequent oddity, "Explain. Now."

He looked to James and even Peter for support and only got shrugs from both; Peter's was admittedly more clueless since he probably had less idea of what was going on than Remus did. Finally, Sirius decided that the best policy was honesty, that he needed to just man up and admit everything.

"I... really like Mina... a lot," he reported bravely, trying not to look like a vain prodigal pure-blood with an eighth-or-more-a-day smoking habit and some rather severe mother issues. Not to mention a tendency to blurt absurd non sequiturs. You know, like a bloke that someone would actually _want_ his little sister to date and then marry and then have many slightly malevolent babies with...

He shut his eyes and prepared himself for a punch... which never came. Looking out between carefully cracked lids, the young man saw that Moony was just rubbing his temples. He was still a bit bruised and gaunt from his recent transformation and loss.

"Does she know?" he asked tiredly.

Sirius shook his head, admittedly sulking a bit.

Remus snorted, actually laughed. "Good luck with that," he sniggered, turning away and beginning his nightly bedtime ritual.

For a long time, Sirius didn't really move. He just stood there, kind of shell-shocked as he tried to interpret the events that had just transpired. Eventually, he found a slow grin spreading across his face.

xxXxx

Since she'd been gone, some idiot first-year had blown up a cauldron, drenching half the Potions lab in bubbling green goop. And, since McGonogall had very little mercy where Mina was concerned, detention that night was cleaning the mess. Sans magic. Bloody fucking perfect.

But it wasn't all bad. Evans had finally, blessedly given up on trying to talk some sense into Mina, sticking to sullenly mopping and moping as far away from the girl as she could get. The redhead occasionally grumbled (probably thinking herself too good for manual labor, the bitch), but she had otherwise ceased her incessant nagging.

Mina couldn't say that she particularly enjoyed the rancid smell, but the work wasn't altogether terrible. Kind of cathartic, actually. She turned her whirling mind over to the pure drudgery of the chore, and the young woman could honestly say that she didn't have many thoughts at all during those hours.

Evans didn't really pull her weight (squeamish and probably afraid of breaking a nail, the wimp), but they still got the sludge taken care of well before midnight. They walked out together, but Mina took a detour at the fifth floor, intent on breaking into the prefects' bathroom to soak away the lingering stench and all her assorted troubles in peace. Evans looked like she might scold about wandering after curfew but seemed to think twice, shutting her gigantic mouth and stomping away back to the Tower.

The night just kept getting better and better.

Soon, Mina was floating blissfully in a huge bath tub full of bright white bubbles that smelled like orange blossoms. It was the kind of sweet, pure scent that just made the girl smile reflexively, made her think of long, careless summer afternoons spent staring at an endless stretch of sky.

She didn't make it a habit of forgetting to lock the door when she bathed, but that's what must've happened because Sirius got in.

"Hello?" a cheeky voice called, suddenly shattering the blissful silence.

Mina yelped and flailed and inhaled water up her nose, frantically trying to protect her modesty and kill the pervert who would dare disturb her in such an intimate moment.

But it was just Sirius standing near the door. And he had his hand over his eyes. "You decent, love?" he inquired with a delighted grin.

"Bloody fucking _hell_, Padfoot!" she shouted at the impertinent bastard, "I don't interrupt your baths! This is a clear abuse of the Marauder's Map!" If she'd had her wand within reach, Sirius probably would've spent the rest of his miserable life as dung beetle.

He peered hesitantly between his long, elegant fingers, chuckling, "I do apologize, Sunshine, my love. But I missed you while you were gone... do you mind if I keep you company? I swear I won't peek."

She considered the offer briefly before finally sighing, "Ya, whatever."

With a bit of negotiating and careful maneuvering, the lad tied his tie over his eyes, sat down on the side of the pool, shucked his shoes, rolled up trousers, and dangled his feet into the water. He exhaled serenely.

"Those had better be clean," Mina scolded, dunking her hair one last time before swimming to sit on a low step beside him.

Sirius smirked wickedly, reporting, "Clean enough." He looked funny all blindfolded like he was, trusting and comfortable, his crisp shirt just slightly too small for his muscular chest and shoulders, clinging distractingly to his taut abs.

Mina felt justified blaming the hot water and steamy room for her sudden blush, but the girl knew damn well that neither was at fault. She shook herself sharply. She wasn't going to perv on her best friend... even if he was rather attractive...

But Sirius had always been handsome (though she'd never tell him; his ego was big enough on its own, thanks muchly). Why did her traitorous body pick that moment to suddenly take an interest?

Sirius lit a joint, took a hit himself and then held it for Mina to take one as well. They went back and forth like that for awhile before the young man finally slurred, "You wan' do something tonight?"

"Like what?"

"I dunno," Sirius said with a casual shrug, "We could fly, run around the forest... maybe set a prank. I have a pretty good idea for a bit of quick sabotage at the Slytherin table."

Mina snickered and felt her head sagging against the boy's leg. "That last one sounds splendid," she declared, "Flying or running afterward, if you're still up for it. Don't want to keep you from your beauty sleep."

"That's what History is for," he beamed, "I'm all yours as long as you'll have me, Sunshine."

Giving an utterly carefree giggle, Mina hummed, "I'm a very lucky girl."

"That's what I tell people," chuckled Sirius. He fixed the strap in his long hair and leaned back on his elbows, which did nothing to make him look less appealing. "Our stash is running a little low," he reported, kicking idly at the bubbles, "Want to make an extra stop to harvest the old herb garden as well?"

"Sure," Mina eagerly agreed, shaking herself yet again. She needed some damn air and began to climb out of the tub, "Going to be a busy night... and I swear to Merlin, if you peek right now, I'll put your nuts on a keychain."

xxXxx

They finally arrived back at the Great Hall toward the end of breakfast, both teens laughing uproariously and looking like they needed baths. The gossip mill kicked into high gear, but Sirius and Mina paid it little mind.

"Morning, lads," Mina beamed, squeezing between her brother and James, "Keep your eyes on the Slytherins. Master Padfoot has absolutely outdone himself this time."

Sitting opposite the girl, beside Peter, Sirius smirked smugly, winked, and declared, "Not hard with a muse such as yourself at my constant disposal, dearest Sunshine."

He wasn't entirely sure, but the young man thought that he saw Mina blush as she giggled and teased, "Pads, you flatterer! Save some of that charm for McG. I think she's actually grown to look forward to having you flirt with her every class."

Remus cleared his throat loudly, kicking Sirius hard under the table.

Not wanting to upset the tentative, unspoken truce they'd reached about his being allowed to pursue Mina, Sirius didn't retaliate. He flashed a wicked grin and reported, "The old girl totally wants me. But then again, who doesn't?"

"I'm pretty sure there's a list up in the second floor loo," Mina laughed, ravenously devouring what was left of a large platter of bacon.

Sirius frowned. Well, pouted.

A tremendous _CRASH_ sounded from the other side of the room, the Slytherin benches and table suddenly flipping and taking all their inhabitants with them. The shouting, squirming pile of bodies and food and furniture that resulted was nothing short of a masterpiece.

Sniggering triumphantly around a half-chewed mouthful of... something (she seemed to have moved on from the bacon), Mina murmured, "Success."

"Very nice," James whistled, clearly impressed, "You finally worked out how to time-delay your charms?"

"Yes, sir," Sirius declared, trying not to sound too boastful as he puffed out his chest, "I've found that impressing Flitwick with such feats of greatness is the easiest way to earn myself an O without actually doing any of the homework."

"Cheater," Peter playfully accused. Well, not entirely playfully; he was constantly struggling to pull his own grade from a P to an A.

Mina rested her head on her brother's shoulder, yawning, "Speaking of cheaters, guess who we saw last night out behind the greenhouses, sucking a cock that did not belong to her boyfriend?"

"MINA!" Remus screeched, hurling a balled up napkin at Sirius when he let out a sharp bark of a laugh.

Rolling her eyes, the girl complained, "You're such a prude, Moony."

Remus blushed scarlet but still scolded, "I don't think that's the sort of thing you should be repeating!"

"Fine," she sighed, "Let's just say that poor Ed Bones is going to be crushed when he finds out."

"You mean when you tell him," James amended brightly.

Unapologetic, Mina shrugged, "He's a decent bloke and deserves to know. I'd certainly want to if I were in his shoes."

Snorting loudly into his mostly empty plate, Peter absently remarked, "I doubt anyone would be stupid enough to cheat on you. He'd be liable to lose every part involved in the act."

She spared the boy a fond smile, cooing, "Ah, Wormy, you are wise beyond your years."

xxXxx

Aside from getting glared at extra hard in Transfiguration and nearly drowning on other people's drool during History, the rest of the day passed in a fairly typical manner. Mina was actually very tactful with breaking the news about his girlfriend to Edgar Bones; she didn't shout it in public or give a graphic play-by-play or anything, and Sirius thought that showed great personal restraint. She even offered to help get back at the "cheating whore" for him, and Sirius thought that showed deep compassion.

Ed (probably wisely) turned down the assistance (not that that stopped his older sister Amelia from thrashing his ex). But Mina had had a soft spot for the goofy Ravenclaw ever since he started letting her copy his flawless Potions homework in third year; she decided that something else had to be done to cheer him up and promptly began organizing a small get-together in his honor.

The First Annual Edgar Bones Is Finally Rid of His Cheating Whore of a Girlfriend Dance was an invite-only event that was held in secret on the far side of the lake, in a hastily constructed but thoroughly hidden tent. The Marauders arranged food and drinks and even a live band (Kirley Duke, who had graduated a few years previous and gone on to form the wildly successful Weird Sisters, owed James a _huge_ favor; it was best not to go into why, lest the Ministry catch wind of the whole affair and decide to prosecute those involved).

_Anyways_, the party carried on and on from early evening until nearly dawn the next morning. Despite his initial reluctance, Ed seemed to have a great time; he even disappeared for awhile with a cute Hufflepuff girl whose name no one could recall... Annie, Franny, Dani, something like that.

Sirius appreciated the party for many reasons, the majority of which concerned dancing with Mina all night as well as the _brilliant_ outfit she wore; he'd had no idea that the girl even owned a skin-tight halter top_ or_ a tiny leather miniskirt until she suddenly appeared wearing _both_; it took nearly an hour for Sirius to speak in full sentences again, with James and Remus laughing all the while (Peter remained even more hopelessly tongue-tied).

When the festivities finally wound down, they were left with about half of Hogwarts sleeping off exhaustion and binge drinking in their tent. James, Remus, and Peter had all succumbed to their own tiredness, squeezing in wherever there was room.

Not Sirius though. As tired (and drunk and high) as he was, the young man was determined to stay up and keep Mina company; seemed like the teen was converting to an insomniac's lifestyle in the course of his courting, but it was an easy sacrifice to make. They'd wandered out to sit beside the lake and wait for sunrise, idly passing a joint back and forth.

Snuggled soft and warm beneath his arm, Mina suddenly inquired, "What do you think happens to you after you die?" She never took her eyes off the glowing horizon.

"Dunno," Sirius answered quietly, afraid of saying the wrong thing and breaking the eerie spell that had been spun between himself and his beautiful best friend, "Nothing, I suppose."

"Ya," she agreed, taking a long suck of smoke and exhaling it in a lazy plume, "That's what I think, too. Moony says that good people get rewarded and bad people get punished. That there's some... higher power that sees to justice for everyone."

"Unlikely," remarked Sirius.

Mina nodded, chuckling, "Exactly. I mean, it's a nice fairy tale, but... we're all a little old for fairy tales. Especially with the world going crazy like it is."

A depressing but nonetheless legitimate point considering there'd been nonstop reports of more Death Eater attacks ever since the summer. Ever since Mina had been tortured...

"You feeling alright?" Sirius questioned.

Nodding again, the young woman declared, "Fine, Pads. Just... I dunno. Tired."

Sirius did his best not to jostle her as he glanced down to discover that her eyes were almost closed. "So sleep," he murmured, forgetting himself for a moment and pressing a lingering kiss to her pale forehead, "Been a long night, Sunshine."

"Mmm," she hummed, "Not that tired... breakfast?"

Laughing, shaking his head, Sirius agreed, "Sure, why not?"

Neither made any move to stand.

xxXxx

"Oi! Lupin!"

Mina and James turned and allowed Amelia Bones to catch up, the tall blonde seventh-year Hufflepuff falling into step and flashing a warm half smile. "That was really nice what you did for Ed," Amelia observed pleasantly.

Shrugging, Mina replied, "I take care of my friends."

"Ya," Amelia agreed, "Well, I was just surprised. You don't seem quite as mean and crazy as everyone says."

Mina snorted a laugh. "Thanks," she stated flatly, "You don't seem like quite as much of a slut as everyone says."

Amelia's jaw dropped; James had to clasp his hand over his mouth to keep from laughing too obviously. (It didn't really work.)

"What?" Mina snickered, "Were we not playing that game?"

As was typical of people's first-time reactions to the sandy-haired Gryffindor, Amelia stared for a few more moments before getting pissed off and stomping away.

"Smooth, Sunny," James chuckled.

Mina giggled all the way to class, ruffling Peter's hair and throwing herself down onto the lawn between Remus and Sirius as they all waited for Professor Kettleburn to show up. A small group of Ravenclaws to their left had a wireless tuned to a top-tracks station and cheered triumphantly when the Weird Sisters came on and dedicated the next song to Hogwarts because no one rocks harder.

In the midst of yet more boisterous cheers and a round of energetic hand slaps, Mina leaned her head against Remus's shoulder and inquired, "How was Divination? Anything big looming in the immediate future?"

"Not that I know of," Remus laughed, "But Padfoot nearly got kicked out."

"Since when is it a crime to bring snacks for the class?" the young man protested smugly.

Sniggering into his textbook, Peter declared, "When the snacks are fortune cookies and the class is Divination."

"Oh, you didn't!" cackled Mina, "Nice one, Paddy-cakes."

Remus shot her a strange glance but didn't comment on the new nickname.

Sirius beamed at the compliment, reporting, "Next week, I'm thinking of replacing all the crystal balls with snow globes."

"Probably the only thing they're actually good for," Mina agreed, "Merlin, maybe Prongs and I should've signed up with you three. The subject might be rubbish, but it certainly does have vast comedy potential."

"Tried to tell you," Sirius said with a shrug.

Their conversation was cut short as the music from the wireless abruptly cut out in favor of a shaky announcer voice: "_Breaking news this hour from Birmingham where the Ministry is now confirming a Death Eater attack at the Le Fey shopping center. Survivors claim that men in mask and cloaks detained and tortured all half-bloods and muggle-borns they could find before finally setting an explosive that leveled the historic center as well as several surrounding muggle streets. We don't yet have a death toll, but aurors are unofficially estimating at least five hundred wizards and muggles have perished. More information will be provided as soon as it's known_."

"Holy crap," Mina murmured, swallowing hard as the music picked back up, as it made the eerie stillness of the moment that much more surreal. Memories from the summer came back in a flood of fresh pain and terror.

Remus hugged her close; Sirius squeezed her hand.

No one could find anymore words.

xxxxxxxxxx

Remember, reviews are love :)


	11. Good Deeds and Mysteries

Part 11 – Good Deeds and Mysteries

"We don't have to do it this month," Remus offered, barely keeping himself standing just outside the door to the Hospital Wing, "We can wait. There's no rush."

Mina wrapped her arms around her brother, smiled softly against his chest. "We're ready," she replied, "I know you're scared, but we are. And we want to do this with you."

She felt her brother return the embrace, felt him tremble. Exhaustion and fear, his body beginning to turn on him even hours before moonrise. "You don't have to," he repeated, "I appreciate it. But... Mina, I'm never going to forgive myself if I hurt someone. Especially you."

"I won't let that happen," she said, "I promise. Everything is going to be fine. Now get in there before Madame Mary comes out. She's still quite upset over the whole hexing-scales-onto-the-Slytherins episode, and I'd hate to give her another reason to bitch at me."

Remus chuckled warmly, pressing a kiss into his sister's hair. "Be careful," he warned, "Please. No risks. If it looks like it's going bad, just get out, alright?"

"Alright," she agreed. She watched her brother shuffle weakly through the infirmary door.

xxXxx

Sirius's breath caught as a bludger came dangerously close to slamming right into Mina's lovely face. Only a last-second barrel roll saved her from having to join her brother in the Hospital Wing.

"Oi! Lupin!" yelled James, "Get your head in the game!" Their fearless captain was taking his new responsibilities very seriously, holding practice almost every other day. Even that day, when all the Marauders on the team were understandably distracted by their plans for that night.

Frowning as she steadied herself after the near miss, Mina fired back, "It's not my head you've got to worry about! That slag Yates is too busy staring at Padfoot to do her damn job!"

"HEY!" the new keeper protested shrilly, "I am not! Shut up, Lupin! Mind your own business!"

Bethany Yates likely had been staring again; apparently Sirius had snogged the younger girl at some point before deciding that Mina was his soul mate (though he only had a vague recollection of the tryst in question). Yates (along with most of the rest of the female half of the student body) was still carrying a bit of a torch.

But she'd been the only halfway decent person to tryout for the keeper position (and "halfway decent" was a generous description), so Sirius was stuck with the pseudo stalker for the rest of the season. Or until they found someone better.

Neither he nor Mina was at all happy.

Groaning with exasperation at having to mediate yet another tiff between the two girls, James bellowed, "We play Slytherin this weekend, people! We can't afford distractions! Creevy! Jones! Us three are taking Yates through the drills _again_! Black and Lupin! More target practice! And Walker!"

Sirius was startled nearly off his broom when Gerald Walker squeaked suddenly at his side. They need to put a damn bell on their tiny ginger seeker, or at least train him to actually announce his presence when he was within arm's length.

Obviously cranky with all of them, James addressed the slender third-year and threatened, "Nobody's going anywhere until you bring me that snitch at least three more times! Got it?"

Walker gave a terrified nod and zoomed off. Kid was spooky but bloody fast. Hopefully he'd be able to end the game before Yates screwed up too badly in goal.

The rest of the players resumed their appointed tasks, Mina coming over to hover beside Sirius. Her flushed, sweaty scowl was genuine but seemed a bit far off. Preoccupied.

"Moony's fine," Sirius soothed, "Tonight's going to be fine. This is going to work."

Mina didn't look at all convinced but still agreed, "Ya, I know... let's just get on with practice before Prongs has a _complete_ meltdown."

With a smile, Sirius wiped his sweaty forehead and joked, "Aw, but the melodramatic captain rant is so funny."

"Wind sprints certainly aren't," the girl grumbled, "Especially when that fat-arse Yates starts to puke." She sent one more venomous glare toward the leggy brunette before soaring off in search of the bludgers.

Sirius tried not to get too hopeful, but he could've sworn he was detecting just a smidge of jealousy mixed in with his companion's ire.

xxXxx

They didn't talk much as they marched across the grounds, Peter already transformed and scurrying ahead because it was hard enough fitting just three tallish teens (well, two annoyingly tallish boys and a girl of average height) beneath an invisibility cloak. James's dad had been suspicious when his son asked for it over the summer, but thankfully the old man gave up the family heirloom without too many questions.

"Step on my heel again," Mina hissed, tossing back an elbow for good measure, "See what happens."

Grunting and rubbing his gut, James replied, "Sorry. Not like I'm trying to. Maybe next month we should do this part in stages."

"Maybe next month you should _shut up_," Mina growled.

Sirius reached forward and put a gentling hand on her shoulder, murmuring, "Relax, love. You know Moony's going to be able to smell your emotions once we get in there."

He was right. Damnit, she hated when he was right.

The rest of their journey passed in silence. The bright night seemed to be both crawling and rushing by at the same time; it was an eerie sensation made only more uncomfortable by the unnatural stillness of the nearby forest. But, finally, their crew arrived just outside the fringes of the Whomping Willow's reach, halting while brave little Wormtail dashed straight into the swinging branches and pressed the small knot on the trunk that froze the giant tree.

For the first time, Mina descended into her brother's hell.

xxXxx

James was the perpetual optimist amid their ranks; his leading theory was that Moony would recognize the others as pack, that the werewolf might try to assert dominance but wouldn't attack to kill. Mina refused to believe anything else, but Sirius was less than convinced. Remus shared his friend's uncertainty and had said as much the evening before.

"Don't let me hurt her," the pale, weary lad had whispered desperately as they trailed a few steps behind the rest on the way to dinner, "Do whatever you have to, ok?"

And Sirius had promised. Not that he would let anyone hurt Mina anyways.

So it was really bothering him that she wouldn't allow him take the lead, the sandy she-wolf bounding first through the tunnel and snarling whenever Padfoot attempted to run past her. Since Sunny was a sleek, menacing package of fangs and fury, it wouldn't have been wise to press the issue any further than Padfoot tried; he was a big dog but probably no match for his slightly feral best friend.

They heard Moony before they saw him, the ominous howl greeting them just meters from their destination. Sunny added her own voice to the fearsome cry and leapt into the room without a second's hesitation.

Padfoot crashed through right behind her, and suddenly the two were alone with a vicious monster.

They weren't supposed to be alone, but, Sirius later discovered, Prongs was having trouble fitting his ridiculous crown of antlers through the narrow opening in the floor. Wormtail had been instructed to hang back; he was barely a mouthful and could've been gone with just one snap of Moony's powerful jaws.

Moony snapped his powerful jaws at them, bristling and drooling blood as he approached. Padfoot wasn't quite sure what he'd been expecting appearance-wise, but none of his mental images came close to the beast he actually encountered. The shape of it was definitely wolf-like, but while Sunny was small and lithe and elegant, Moony was huge, clumsy and hulking, his fur razor-blade silver and seemingly just as sharp. His wild eyes gleaming amber and his meaty hackles raised.

He'd been tearing at himself; apparently he always did, but the jagged bites and scratches trailing up and down his body were still startling, dripping a trail of red as Moony inspected the newcomers.

A spike of fear froze Padfoot in place for too long, made him fail to fall onto his back when Sunny did. Moony wasn't pleased by the lack of submission, snarling and lunging forward and knocking Sirius hard to the ground with his huge front paws.

More shocked and winded than hurt, Padfoot lay as motionless as possible while Moony sniffed his stomach and neck, gently closed his teeth around Padfoot's snout and just held for a few moments. The were's breath certainly wasn't pleasant, but the dominance display was otherwise harmless.

Finally satisfied, Moony let him up and moved on to Sunny, though he only sniffed her neck once before licking at her face in an almost welcoming manner.

Sunny sprang up, yipping and excited, and bounced around her brother in triumph before they both fell to the floor wrestling in a happy heap. There were a few playful nips and barks but nothing that could be construed as even remotely hostile.

Padfoot gave a huff of relief and shook himself from head to tail, tongue lolling free at about the same moment that Prongs finally appeared with Wormtail perched in his antlers. They shared a brief glance and then began to settle in for a long night.

xxXxx

Moony seemed to cycle through stages of calm and rage and depression. One minute, he'd be playing happily with Sunny; the next, he'd suddenly remember that he was still a werewolf and still trapped away from his preferred food source.

He'd start biting at his own limbs, hurling himself against the walls and screeching in agony and wrath. Hurting himself because he didn't have any people to hurt. Then it would be up to Sunny and Padfoot and Prongs to try to stop him, but that didn't work particularly well; he'd end up hitting one of them too hard, throwing them from one end of the wrecked room to the other or opening up a gash with a careless claw.

The whines of pain from his pack members usually brought him right out of the fits, but then they had to deal with a guilty werewolf who wanted to lick and cuddle them all better.

Honestly, the whole evening was more strange than anything, certainly not the hours of terror and carnage that Remus had been freaking himself out envisioning.

When the moon finally set, Moony shoved them away and shrieked all the way through the painful stretch and tear of bones and ligaments returning to their original shape. The rest transformed as well, cautiously approaching Remus's pale, naked, bleeding form.

James was ready with the blankets while Mina transferred her brother's head into her lap, stroking his drenched bangs and flatly observing, "He's out cold... think we can do anything with the wounds?"

"He said not to," reminded Sirius, crouching gingerly at the girl's side, "Madame Mary will be by soon to fix him up."

She knew that, of course. But hearing it again didn't make leaving Remus in his current condition any easier. "Madame Mary has to leave him some pain potion at least, right?" she questioned, exhausted and sore, "Didn't he say something about that?"

Nodding as he flopped into a half smashed armchair, Peter answered, "In a box in the tunnel, so he can't break it."

James was there and back in a split second, pressing the vial into Mina's hand. She tilted it against Remus's torn lips and got the unconscious young man to swallow all but a few dribbles of the thick concoction. The lines of pain etched into his forehead and around his eyes smoothed, his body relaxing. He didn't wake but seemed much more at ease.

"I think that actually went pretty well," James declared. Both his eyes had been blacked, and he was bleeding from a small cut near his hairline. But the young man still had a silly grin to offer.

Mina was willing to share the ridiculous optimism for a few moments. But then she insisted, "Don't get cocky, mate. He still kicked our arses pretty good. We're going to need to learn some healing spells and glamours before he sees us or he's never going to let us do this again."

"Way ahead of you," Sirius contributed, producing his wand and pointing it toward the worst of her injuries, the deep purple bruise stretching all the way from her jaw to her collarbone.

Smiling fondly despite the sting of the magic, Mina chuckled, "Been doing a bit of research, Pads?

"Figured it might come in handy," he said with a shrug that turned into a wince. "Damn," he groaned, "I don't suppose any of you degenerates knows how to return the favor? My ribs got thrashed."

Mina smirked and taunted, "Baby gonna cry?"

He briefly stuck his tongue out at her before countering, "Baby gonna kick your skinny arse, Sunshine."

"Unlikely," she replied, finding her own voice strangely... flirty, "You're rather fond of my _cute little _arse."

Sirius turned red as a tomato, spluttering and shell-shocked.

Mina couldn't help throwing her head back with laughter, able to forget, for a just a second, her brother's bleeding body.

The sound of a throat clearing brought her out of her thoughts, James standing over them with yet another silly, bemused smile on his face. "Would you two like some alone time?" he questioned teasingly.

"And leave you unsupervised?" Mina replied, "No way am I going to be responsible for unleashing that danger upon the unsuspecting public... let's fetch Moony some water before we leave."

xxXxx

It really would figure that the moment Mina actually started flirting back, Sirius turned into a blushing, stuttering, incoherent mess.

"Quit squirming!" she shouted, holding him in place by his ponytail, "I almost got it!"

"That's what you said ten minutes ago!" complained Sirius. He did his best to twist away from her but would've had to leave a good six inches of hair behind to pull that off. Sulking, the young man settled back into his bed and complained, "At this point, I'd rather just live with the busted ribs."

Snorting, Mina replied, "Too damn bad. I need to learn this. And the whining doesn't help."

Sirius sighed and tried to get comfortable, submitting to more subpar medical care because... well, being willing to do anything for Mina apparently meant being willing to act as her guinea pig. Even though she had turned out to be absolutely _inept_ at healing charms.

James and Peter had already been scared off, both boys eagerly volunteering to fetch breakfast and then nearly trampling each other to get out the door. Sirius couldn't even be mad at them; Pete nearly lost an eye under Mina's care, and James would probably be walking funny for at least a week.

"OW!" A sharp jolt of pain brought him out of his thoughts. "Merlin's balls, Mina! What the fuck are you doing? Stabbing me with your wand?"

She glared at him and snarled, "Of course not. It's this stupid spell, alright? It's just not working!"

Despite the agony she was inflicting upon him, Sirius couldn't help finding her expression of stubborn frustration absolutely adorable. He almost offered to let her keep practicing on him but thought better of it... unless she asked... then he'd most likely crumble in a second.

"It's hard stuff, Sunshine," he soothed, grimacing as he rolled onto his side, "They don't even teach these spells to most seventh years, not unless they're going into healing and sometimes not until they get to the healers' academy."

"You and Prongs learned them with no problem," Mina pouted.

Sirius couldn't stop staring at her lips, plump and pursed, and, Merlin help him, he couldn't think beyond the desire to kiss his best friend.

Then Mina had to go and ruin the moment. "Are you saying I'm not as smart as you two?" she challenged caustically, jumping to her feet and kicking a pile of textbooks as she stalked toward the door, "My grades are better than yours _and_ I've had my head stuck in fewer places over the course of my life, so you can just go fuck yourself, arsehole!"

And then she was gone. And Sirius was once again left to contemplate the mercurial nature of his one and only love... and to figure out how to heal his own damn ribs.

xxXxx

Maybe she _had_ been a little hard on Sirius, but Mina refused to admit as much and remained cross with him all through their morning classes despite his plaintive pouting. On her way to lunch, the young woman realized that she'd left her Potions textbook in the dorm and promptly doubled back to fetch it, asking James to bring a sandwich to class for her. No fucking pickles.

Merlin help him if there were pickles.

She felt fine. All the injuries that could be healed were, and the lingering bruises were fairly simply to conceal. Courtesy of her genius friends. Mina really didn't know why their superior skills irked her so much, especially because she'd never been bothered before when James easily performed some absurdly advanced bit of magic or when Sirius scored higher than she did on a test without even bothering to stay awake during the subject. She loved that her friends were so smart; the devious, effortless intelligence was an asset and provided many of their best schemes.

Perhaps she was extra cranky and easily frustrated for lack of sleep. Or perhaps she just hated seeing them hurt and being powerless to help...

The dorm was usually empty at that time of day, so Mina hadn't expected to see any of her roommates. Certainly not Mary MacDonald perched precariously on the window ledge, leaning out over the steep drop and looking ready to let herself plummet.

Just like the last time she saved the girl's worthless hide, Mina reacted without conscious thought, sprinting the length of the room and grabbing Mary around the waist.

"What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?" Mina screamed as she yanked Mary back and slammed her roughly to the floor. "You don't get the fucking easy way out!" raged Mina, having to try very hard to keep from beating her roommate to a bloody pulp, "What the fuck kind of pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor would do something like that?"

The girl stared up for a few moments, dark eyes wide and manic. After an endless silence, she began to weep softly. Not hysterical sobbing, just this... slow stream of hopeless tears.

Mina realized that her reaction might not have been the correct one. "Bloody hell, Mac," she sighed, slumping to the ground, "Whatever it is can't be that damn bad." When her words didn't have the desired effect, she added, "If it makes you feel any better, I took care of Mulciber for you."

It did not appear to make the girl feel any better. In fact, mention of her attacker only made Mary cry that much harder.

"Would you say something?" shouted Mina, "You never fucking talk!"

With a hiccup and a cough, Mary finally croaked, "I'm fine now. You can go." Her voice was so soft and quiet, even when she was upset. Even when she should've been filled with rage at an unjust world.

Mina snorted, "Ya. Right. Give me one good reason not to see you committed."

Mary swallowed hard and smudged at her eyes, dark hair in disarray. "I wasn't going to jump," she murmured, "I just... I was thinking about..." She trailed off, sniffling, "You don't have to pretend you care."

"I'm not a sociopath," snapped Mina, "Just because you annoy me doesn't mean I want you dead. I've got a long damn hit list, and you're not even on it."

After a moment of quizzical staring, Mary actually laughed. "You hate me, but I didn't make your hit list," she summarized bitterly, "That's so comforting."

Mina rolled her eyes, arguing, "I didn't say that I hate you. I said that you annoy me. Mostly because you're a whiny wimp. Maybe if you were a little tougher, you wouldn't be contemplating ending it all like some useless coward."

"I'm sorry," Mary countered sarcastically, her first real sign of life, "Is this your idea of a pep talk?"

"This is my idea of a fucking reality check," snapped Mina, seizing the girl by one thick wrist and squeezing brutally to make sure she was paying attention, "Bad things happen to everyone. Take me for example. When I was a child, my psychotic mother tried to kill me. Twice. My father is a stupid, selfish drunk who only shows up when he wants money, and my grandmother, the only family member who actually gave a damn about me or my brother, died a few weeks ago. I'm angry all the time, at everything, for little to no reason. I'm lucky for two hours of sleep a night, and sometimes I get so tired that I'm not sure whether I want to laugh or scream or cry or tear my own skin off. Over the summer, I was _crucioed_ by deluded weirdoes in dresses and have since been repeatedly accused of actually being in league with them despite mountains of very obvious evidence to the contrary."

Mary said nothing. But something seemed to be dawning in her expression. Some understanding.

Taking the change as a good sign, Mina continued, "So, like I said, bad things happen to everyone, and mostly they're completely outside our control. You're not exempt just because you're _fragile_, and you do _not_ get to avoid your issues by jumping out a damn window. Suck it up like the rest of us. Use this opportunity to become a stronger person so that it won't hurt quite as badly the next time fate decides it's your turn on the rack."

Again, Mary didn't say anything right away. She bit her thin bottom lip, hid behind her messy fringe, innocent dark pigtails hanging behind both slightly too large ears. Finally, the girl looked up and declared, "I'm not sure if you're trying to be nice to me or not."

"I'm trying to keep you from doing something stupid that I'd likely get blamed for," Mina replied. She sighed and yanked Mary up by her wrist. "C'mon," the sandy-haired witch ordered as she dragged her roommate toward the door, "I need a fucking smoke."

xxXxx

"She probably snuck back to see Moony," James insisted, clearly getting progressively more irritated by his friend's constant harping on their wayward female member, "Or she felt like being alone for awhile. I don't know. She'll meet up with us at dinner."

Scanning the Marauder's Map for signs of Mina's location, Sirius replied, "She doesn't like to miss class while Moony is out. She tries to take notes for him."

James scoffed, "Then why does he always end up borrowing mine?"

"Because Sunny gets distracted and draws him little cartoons instead," Sirius replied, finding himself smiling goofily despite his continuing worry, "She's pretty good. Her Slughorn caricature is dead on. And I'd have the Snivellus one posted all over school if Moony would let me."

Laughing but rolling his eyes, James countered, "Ok, well, she can draw cartoons just as easily off-Map as she can in class. You have to quit obsessing. Not only is it irritating and kind of pathetic, but Mina's also going to kick your arse for spying if she finds out."

"_You_ are going to lecture _me_ about being a pathetic, obsessed stalker?" challenged Sirius.

After a brief beat and a bit of a blush, James admitted, "I suppose not when you put it like that..."

They walked another few steps before being accosted by Lily Evans, the redhead stopping them with her patented halt-or-be-killed-where-you-stand glare. "Delwyn Jones told me that he saw Lupin dragging Mary MacDonald into the forest during lunch," she announced, "And no one has seen them since."

"Um," James replied, "Ok... well, we haven't either, but if you want help looking-"

"If your nutcase of a friend hurts one hair on Mary's head, I'm going to make sure she spends the rest of her miserable life in Azkaban!" Evans interrupted.

Rolling his eyes, Sirius argued, "She's not a bloody sociopath. She doesn't go around beating people up just for the fun of it, and she certainly wouldn't bother going as far as the forest if that was her aim."

Though he didn't seem fond of the tone or wording, James hesitantly agreed, "That's... true, actually. She's not patient or sneaky enough."

Evans glowered menacingly, snapping, "She lured me in and ditched me."

"You were on a detention with her," Sirius argued, "And she didn't ditch you. She played a harmless joke, and you ran away screaming. Quit making stuff up to make Mina look bad. She can do that all on her own."

The girl's face turned an angry, embarrassed shade of purplish-red before Evans finally hissed, "Mary just better be alright." With that final veiled threat, she spun on her heel and stormed away down the hall.

James and Sirius shared a worried glance.

xxXxx

"I'm bloody starving," Mina declared, throwing herself down beside Peter and ravenously devouring everything within reach, including what happened to be on her startled friend's plate.

She was so focused on satisfying her munchies that she didn't notice the stares right away, from her fellow Marauders and from many others, all of whom were probably very puzzled as to why she'd walked into the Great Hall with Mary MacDonald, why the girls had been able to part so amicably.

Not bothering to swallow, Mina announced, "Found us a new keeper, if you're interested."

James frowned, questioning, "What? Who?"

"MacDonald," replied Mina, "Turns out she's bloody fantastic. She's got four cousins in the pros, and one of her uncles is a coach for the Scottish nationals. She's been practicing with them all her life. Stupid cow was just too shy to go out for the team."

For a few moments, James stared at her with his mouth hanging wide open, food dribbling back onto his plate. Then he was stumbling up from his seat and dashing down the length of the table. Mina was far too amused to tell her friend that she'd already badgered the girl into promising to show up for a tryout the following day. Watching James beg on his hands and knees while MacDonald turned beet red and Evans blustered at him for making a foolish spectacle was the funniest thing she'd seen in quite awhile.

Laughing into her dinner, Mina declared, "Well, I spent my day getting rid of Yates for us. What've you lads been up to?"

Sirius grinned crookedly, winked. "Pining after my dearest Sunshine, of course. Though I suppose your cause was worthy."

Mina snorted, "You don't know the half of it."

xxXxx

MacDonald was good. Damn, was she good. Girl could probably walk onto any pro team she wanted and be signed before nightfall.

Unfortunately, there was also a very real chance that MacDonald would fall apart as soon as she had to perform in front of a crowd. Of course, they would only find out if Mina managed to get her to quit puking long enough to actually set foot on the pitch.

"Mac!" Sirius heard Mina scold over the sounds of fierce retching, "This is bloody ridiculous! Tipoff is in fifteen minutes, and we need to warm up! Get your fat arse out here!"

He poked his head around the divider between the male and female sides of the locker room and saw Mina and James standing outside one of the toilet stalls. Both were already in uniform, but only Mina wore an impatient scowl.

"Take it easy, Sunny," James soothed, looping a tender arm around his beater's slim waist and briefly pressing their foreheads together, "She's just nervous." He knocked lightly on the stall door, calling, "C'mon, MacDonald. I know you're freaked out, but... well, you're awesome. You might not want to believe it, but you are. Even Lupin thinks so."

Mina elbowed him hard, but, after a heated exchange of charged looks, she crossly admitted, "Ya, fine. You own the hoops, alright?"

"See?" laughed their fearless captain as he fiddled with his glasses and hair, "You know she wouldn't say it if it wasn't true... now, are you ready to get out there? I'll tell you from experience that there are few things more satisfying than sending the Slytherins crying to their inbred mums."

They waited eagerly until the latch clicked and MacDonald stepped into view.

Despite Mina's taunts, Sirius had never thought that Mary was particularly fat. She was just unusually tall and solid for a girl, slightly plump in the cheeks and middle. But none of that detracted much from her big dark eyes or naturally pretty face. Puberty was definitely moving the girl from "plump" to "curvy." Though Sirius himself was partial to Mina's slender build, he could definitely appreciate a little more meat on the bones. Some hips to grab onto. Not that he had any particular urge to grab onto Mary's hips...

Wiping her mouth and nose and eyes on the sleeve of her robes, MacDonald swallowed hard and croaked, "Ok. I... I'm ok. Let's go."

"About fucking time," Mina snapped. But she smirked, and that alone appeared to put Mary at ease.

Sirius (and the rest of the school) still couldn't figure out what the hell had changed between the two girls to turn them from bitter enemies to reluctant allies. And neither was telling. "Dearest Sunshine," he called sweetly, "Noble captain and lovely secret weapon. Jones and Creevy are becoming slightly spastic with anticipation. And Walker is getting on my nerves with his tiny-and-ginger act. Are we nearly ready?"

"Keep your shorts on, Padfoot," Mina replied, swooshing her bat in wide half-circles as she moved to join him, "Not like they can start without us." Her smile wasn't so much a smile as it was an eager baring of fangs. "First dibs on Montague," she said.

Chuckling, Sirius replied, "Only if I get to take out my brother."

xxXxx

"So... what's the situation with you and Mary?"

Mina knew it would only be a matter of time until he asked. "My good deed for the decade," she replied languidly, letting oily smoke ooze out from between her lips and billow up to join the stars.

She was using Sirius's chest as a pillow so sensed rather than saw the young man's answering pout. Felt the rise and fall of a bothered huff. "You're really not going to tell me?" he complained.

"There's nothing to tell," Mina yawned, hoping that she was right. That not reporting Mary's episode wasn't a huge mistake.

She was also hoping that with the exertion of the game, the excitement of the win, and the awesomeness of the weed that sleep would come swiftly once she and Sirius could be bothered to head back to the castle. Of course, who knew when that would be? Sirius didn't usually let a subject drop until his curiosity had been satisfied.

Her only option was a distraction, which came conveniently in the form of a thin streak of light suddenly tearing across the inky black sky.

"Shooting star!" cried Sirius, jostling her with his animated pointing, "Make a wish!"

Mina rolled over, soft grass prickling a bare slice of stomach as she propped her chin on the lad's sternum. "We slaughtered the Slytherins _and_ I put Montague in the Hospital Wing," she observed proudly, taking one more puff on the joint before holding it to Sirius's lips, "Asking for more seems greedy. You make the wish."

Smoke poured out of Sirius's nostrils (which looked oddly huge and cavernous from that angle), and the young man laughed, "It's not like we only get one between us. We both saw it."

Mina said nothing. Stared into the nostrily abyss and hoped that it wasn't staring back into her. That would've been totally creepy.

"Alright," Sirius laughed.

After an impossibly long stretch of silence, he inquired, "Want to know what I wish for?"

Mina had to take yet another moment to remember what the hell he was talking about. "'Course not," she finally slurred, "Won't come true if you do."

She was able to see his pout that time, his bottom lip jutting out stubbornly. It looked soft and plush, and Mina couldn't resist touching, running a finger back and forth across the warm flesh until Sirius shuddered and grabbed her hand. Gently kissed each one of her fingertips and then her palm and down the inside of her wrist.

It tickled. And by the time he got to the crook of her elbow, she couldn't stop giggling, the pair of them intertwined and rolling across the secluded copse. "Stop, Padfoot!" Mina insisted, breathless with laughter as they struggled against each other, "Stop it, you goon!"

He muttered something into her bicep.

Mina would've investigated the muttering (she could be quite curious as well), but Sirius's pocket chose that moment to blare, "_Why are you ditching my victory party?_"

It was rather startling, to say the least. Especially because Mina couldn't figure out how the hell James had gotten into Sirius's pocket; she had a slight moment of panic over their friend's wellbeing.

But then Sirius produced that stupid mirror of his, sounding rather strained and annoyed as he declared, "Mary's the hero of the match. Nobody's going to miss us. Now quit interrupting."

Looking frowny and also annoyed, James responded, "_Quit stealing Sunny! I'm sure you're both stoned enough to be social, and I need my damn beaters for some team pictures! Get back here right now!_"

"You're bossy," Mina snickered, sprawled halfway across Sirius to address the rectangle of reflective glass.

With a grin, Sirius agreed, "He is, isn't he? I think all the captaining has gone to his head. We might have to stage an intervention."

Mina teased, "And by _stage an intervention_ I assume you mean _light his socks on fire_?"

"_Don't you bloody dare!_" James shrieked, likely remembering the last time he'd been treated to such fun, "_I'll throw you both off the squad! I swear it!_"

"Galleon says you won't," Sirius sing-songed, silencing the mirror and stuffing it back into his pocket.

Mina let herself giggle for a few more moments before trying to stand.

But Sirius refused to let go, both strong arms wrapped firmly around her torso. Safe and cozy.

"C'mon," she prompted brightly, only vaguely realizing that they were smooshed together chest-to-chest (not bothered by the position even a little), "We've got a date with Prongs's socks."

Once more doing that mesmerizing pouting thing, the black-haired boy argued, "We don't have to go right away... we were having a good time here, right?"

With a grin, Mina agreed, "Well, of course. But we're needed elsewhere. Who's going to set the captain ablaze if not us?"

Sirius didn't seem to have an acceptable response and finally let her up. Though he also didn't seem particularly happy about being asked to do so.

The boy could be a real mystery sometimes.

xxxxxxxxx

Good news! I've been employed. Well, sort of. Unpaid internship that will either result in a hire or a fire after three months.

And then the bad news: I've been employed. That means far less time for writing. Blah.

Anyways, hopefully this short offering somewhat makes up for the past and future delays. And I promise to spend all my days off writing diligently. Review for moral support and inspiration :)


	12. Tis the Season

Part 12 - Tis the Season

"You sure your mum doesn't mind?" Remus questioned, again, lugging his trunk off train.

With a sideways smirk, James replied, "For the last time, mate, she insisted. Now quit worrying. You'll get gray hairs."

Rolling his eyes, Remus scoffed, "Unlike you and Padfoot, I'm not obsessed with my hair."

"Which is why it doesn't look quite as stunning as ours," Sirius contributed, shaking out his shimmering black locks.

"Move already!" Mina shouted from the back of their group, frustrated at her friends' insistence on blocking the exit with more talk of bloody hair care, "I don't have all damn day!"

"You're on vacation, love," James called teasingly, "Relax."

"I'll _relax_ my foot right into your arse, dung-breath!" the girl answered.

"Aw, don't be cranky, Sunshine," Sirius cooed, throwing a bright wink over his shoulder, "I know you hate Christmas, but this is going to be fun!"

Snorting, Mina responded, "I don't hate Christmas. Christmas hates me."

"Right," James giggled, "How black does your soul have to be to actually make you _allergic_ to the happiest holiday of the year?"

Mina made good on her threat and booted the lad squarely in his behind. "I'm allergic to _pine trees_, moron!" she complained gruffly, "It has nothing to do with any holiday. The fact that everyone insists on draping themselves and their houses in pine at this time of year is just an unfortunate coincidence!"

"Ok, ok," James replied, rubbing his sore arse, "Jeez, Sunny. That hurt."

"Good," the girl huffed.

"Kids! Over here!"

They all searched for the source of the shout and found Mrs. Potter standing on a bench and waving fondly over the crowd, her small square glasses balanced precariously on the tip of her long nose. Her neat black hair had gone a little whiter at the temples since last Mina saw her, but that was to be expected; she and her husband were rather old and had stressful jobs mostly running the auror office. And they were raising a right hooligan.

"Oh, little Mina," the older woman beamed, seizing the girl into a rough hug and cradling her face in both slim palms, "You get more beautiful every time I see you! And you're so _tall_!"

"Don't tease, Mrs. P," Mina laughed fondly, "Even Pete's taller than I am these days!"

Snickering, Mrs. Potter declared, "Well, I guess you just seem tall to me."

She was kind of a midget, especially next to her beanpole of a son; he clearly got his height from his father.

"C'mon, you boys," she ordered, "Hugs all around."

"Stunning, as always, Mrs. P," Sirius said with a lecherous wink, which earned him a light punch from James as the young man leaned in to greet his mother.

"Behave, Sirius," Mrs. Potter giggled girlishly. She squeezed Remus extra hard and whispered something that made him smile.

Soon they were stepping into the floos and falling out into the Potter living room. Mrs. Potter announced that dinner would be ready in a few hours and that James should get everyone situated in their massive house the meantime.

Mina glared at the tree as she passed it, already feeling her eyes get scratchy and her throat get tight. She didn't even make it to the top of the stairs before she was overtaken by a sneezing fit.

"Here," said Remus, offering a clean handkerchief, "I'll ask Mrs. Potter to charm the tree later."

"T'anks," Mina sniffled, cursing Christmas with every step.

xxXxx

"What're you still doing up, sweetheart?" Mr. Potter questioned, arriving home well after midnight and finding Mina steadily eating her way through the contents of the icebox.

With a grin, the girl replied, "No rest for the wicked, Mr. P. How're you?"

The white-haired gentleman shed his wrinkled work robes and loosened his loud tie and sat down across the table, lanky limbs spilling everywhere. "Starving," he reported, grinning when Mina slid the dish of leftovers into the middle. Mr. Potter summoned himself a fork and dug in, sighing, "I'm still in charge of damage control in Birmingham. It's just... a mess. The Le Fay Center is completely gone, and we're having a hard time keeping the muggle authorities from looking too hard into why several of their own city blocks were leveled as well."

"I can imagine," murmured Mina. She shivered and tried not to remember the Diagon attack.

Smirking, the old auror added, "I'm also getting owls and visits about six times a day from Aristides Mulciber's father. We've still been unable to locate the lad's head."

Mina didn't even try to hide her grin, answering, "Maybe he should've thought of that before he raised a rapist." At the slight raise of Mr. Potter's bristly eyebrows, she hastily continued, "Not that that's a confession of any kind. Thrilled and amused as I am that it happened, I certainly had nothing to do with splinching the bastard's head off." An almost truth she felt no guilt in claiming.

"Uh huh," Mr. Potter laughed, "Well, don't worry, love. Try as they might, the aurors on the case haven't managed to find a scrap of evidence to implicate you. Though very much longer and it might turn into a murder investigation. There's only so much Mungo's can do for a body without a head."

Mina was very, _very_ tempted to let Mulciber die. The world would be so much better off without him in it, and her own guilt would never even become an issue. But she didn't want the boys to feel like they'd become murderers. She resolved give an anonymous tip in the morning.

xxXxx

"Is trapping her under the mistletoe too cheesy?" Sirius wondered aloud, standing beside James at the bathroom mirror as both teens fussed over their hair.

"Definitely a gamble," declared James, "I tried that with Lily in third year, remember? She just kept slapping me until Flitwick released the charm." He shivered at the memory, adding, "My face was sore for a week."

Sirius snorted and argued, "Ya, but Lily can't stand you. Sunny is rather fond of me. And it's not like we haven't kissed before."

With a shrug, James fluffed his bangs and said, "You're still probably much better off being straightforward. You know how she gets when she thinks people are screwing with her."

"True," Sirius murmured. He took a few more seconds to tie his long locks back, thinking hard. Finally, he sighed, "I just don't want to mess this up."

"You won't," James laughed, turning to give his friend an encouraging punch on the arm, "Now quit being a girl and go get the girl."

"Ha bloody ha," complained Sirius. He flashed himself a charming grin in the mirror (really, who could resist that face?) before following James out of the bathroom and down to breakfast. Mrs. Potter had apparently made a half ton of pancakes and bacon before heading off to work early with her husband. Remus, Mina, and Peter had already devoured over half of them.

"S'what you wankers get fo' spendin' so much time on yo' bloody hair," Mina cackled, her mouth full and twisted with a disgusting but strangely sweet smile.

Elbowing the girl, Remus scolded, "I don't need to see your food after you've chewed it, thanks."

Mina rolled her eyes and swallowed thickly. "Stick to improving my vocabulary, dearest twin," she chuckled, "My manners are a lost cause."

Sirius reached over the her shoulder to steal a piece of bacon and agreed, "Ya, Mina's practically a troll."

She caught him with a quick smack but laughed anyways, bellowing, "Fee fi fo fub. All I need is a bigger club."

"SO," James interrupted pointedly, wrestling the pancake platter away from Peter, "What're we doing today?"

"Christmas shopping," Mina insisted, "I know you slackers haven't done any yet, and I don't want to get stuck with a bunch of lame gifts."

James snorted and declared, "Nonsense. We always give awesome presents."

"Indeed," Remus contributed, leveling an absolutely evil smirk in Sirius's direction, "Padfoot especially has a fantastic one planned for you."

"Really?" Mina chirped, beaming at the aforementioned gifter.

Sirius flapped his mouth open and closed a few times, making a mental note to kill Remus for putting such pressure on the already nerve wracking dilemma. "Er," he said, "Ya. But... it's a surprise."

Practically giddy, Mina cooed, "Ooo. Something illegal?"

"No hints!" Sirius snapped.

Mina rolled her eyes and turned her attention to flicking bits of bacon at Peter.

xxXxx

"Bastard," he hissed at Remus as they wandered through Diagon Alley. The statement wasn't purely necessary, but Sirius felt that he had to do something to cover up the eerie silence in the disturbingly empty streets.

Business hadn't yet recovered since the summer attack, and the recent Le Fey massacre certainly wasn't helping inspire consumer confidence. The Marauders were one of a scant few groups that had dared venture out.

"Really," the young man added, "I could dropkick your furry arse right now."

Grinning wickedly, Remus laughed, "Just because I'm letting you go after Mina doesn't mean that I'm going to make it easy. I'm a big brother first and a best mate second."

Sirius growled but didn't argue any further because... well... Remus was right. Remus was always bloody right... "At least it got me a clue about what she wants," the black-haired teen grumbled, warily eyeing the entrance to Knockturn Alley.

Remus dragged him away by the collar and scolded, "What Mina wants and what she's allowed to have are two very different things. She gets in enough trouble as it is just being herself. I'd like her to not be given illegal goods on top of all the illegal substances. Are we clear?"

"Fine," Sirius huffed, "But you're tying my hands!"

Rolling his eyes, Remus jogged ahead and slipped an arm around Mina's waist, whispering something no doubt disparaging in her ear, making her laugh and smirk teasingly over her shoulder.

She looked so gorgeous, pale cheeks pink with cold and murky blue eyes alight. Her sandy hair was getting long, falling messily to just past her shoulders. Sirius was surprised that she had let it grow so much, used to her hacking it off to chin length every few months or when it began to be too great of an annoyance. He liked the new look, even if Mina did complain about her hair getting in her face all the time...

Sirius had been struck by a lot of things in his short life, but his favorite by far was genius. "I'll meet up with you guys later!" he declared, dashing off before anyone could reply.

xxXxx

"That boy is still a mystery," Mina remarked as she watched her friend sprint the length of the alley and disappear around a corner. Turning back to the others, she thoughtfully inquired, "You think he'd like a pet for Christmas?"

"Would he like one?" James mused, "Maybe. Would he manage to keep one alive for more than a week? Well, that's a bit doubtful."

Chuckling, Mina defended, "You underestimate dear Master Padfoot. He has a lot of love to give."

All three boys snorted at once.

"Ten galleons say his pet makes it until next Christmas," Mina declared peevishly, insulted on her friend's behalf, "A galleon more for every year after. Who wants this action?"

"I'm in," snickered James, who seemed far too amused by the whole situation, "But only if nobody tells him. He'd pamper even the foulest of creatures if it meant making me lose a bet."

"Deal," said Mina. Spinning back to face Peter and her brother, she challenged, "What about you two?"

Even though he shook his head and laughed, Remus agreed, "Fine, I suppose. But not an owl. They can take care of themselves... what were you thinking of?"

Mina shrugged, stating, "I dunno. A puffskein maybe? Or a turtle?"

"I don't think either of those is allowed at Hogwarts," Peter pointed out.

To which Mina coolly answered, "Hence their appeal."

Sufficiently told, the pudgy lad murmured, "I guess I'm in."

"Fine," Mina huffed haughtily, "I'll be in the Magical Menagerie if anybody needs me." She spun on her heel and walked off, but the other Marauders followed. Rolling her eyes, the girl complained, "I'm not going to get in another duel. And I'm not bothered being back here, so stop trying to babysit."

"We're just interested to see what you buy," James defended, the little liar.

Remus shamelessly insisted, "None of us should wander alone. These are dangerous times, Sunny."

"Whatever," she grumbled.

xxXxx

James, Remus, and Peter had been randomly giggling at him ever since the shopping trip, and Sirius was starting to become very worried. The worry seemed to compound as Christmas morning approached, culminating in a mostly sleepless Christmas Eve. It wouldn't have been so bad if he'd had Mina to keep him company, but her brother made her take a dose of Sleeping Draught; Sirius had been stuck tossing and turning all by his lonesome.

It was a white Christmas that year, several feet of snow settling on the ground over the course of the few hours of rest that Sirius actually managed to get. He spent the early dawn rolling around in his Animagus form, getting dusted with powder before hearing the rest of the house begin to wake. He helped Mrs. Potter cook breakfast, though all she really let him do was slice fruit as the woman slyly teased about his crush.

Apparently, it was quite obvious to everyone _but_ Mina.

Soon, they were all gathered around the tree, eagerly shuffling and tearing into packages. James got a whole new set of quidditch gear from various friends and relations; Remus got half a library worth of books; Peter got his impressive weight in sweets.

Sirius nervously awaited the moment when Mina would finally reach for his gift. When he bought it, he'd been sure that it was the best gift ever, but now he wasn't so sure. He didn't want her to hate it. Or to think it was weird. Or lame. Or-

"Oooo," the girl's delighted coo interrupted the internal doubt storm, "Padfoot got me something sparkly!"

"He did?" inquired Remus, raising a speculative eyebrow and leaning over his sister's shoulder.

Sirius did his best not to blush as Mina presented the ornate hair clip, a nice bronze one with a set of curved claws covered in bright, colorful pieces of mosaic glass. She fidgeted with it for a few moments before getting it open; as soon as she did, the shiny bauble sprang out of her hands, skittered spider-like up her arm, and disappeared into her messy tresses. Mina shrieked and swatted at her head but didn't stop the clip from swiftly gathering her hair up into a flawless, very elegant twist.

"Oh, you bastard," Mina laughed after she'd calmed down, leaning to catch her reflection in a nearby window, "That was terrifying, but, damn, I do look good."

"Happy to oblige, Sunshine," Sirius said with a cocky grin, "Thought you might like something to keep your hair in order now that you're letting it grow out."

"Aw, you noticed," she beamed, still admiring the style, "Thanks. This certainly will come in handy on those days I just don't feel like making any effort on my appearance."

With a broad grin, Sirius insisted, "You could never be anything less than an absolute vision, my love, but you are welcome."

He thought he saw her cheeks get a bit pink before she looked away shyly, giggling as she produced a small crate from behind the couch. "Here's yours," she said, smirking crookedly, "It's kind of unusual, but I think you'll learn to like it."

Sirius wasn't quite sure he even liked the sound of that but accepted the package graciously and opened it eagerly.

A small black and white head popped out, beady black eyes staring at him with utter disdain.

"His name is Monty," Mina hurriedly explained, patting the creatures pointy little snout and getting a strangely throaty purr for her trouble, "He was a lab animal until aurors raided the place for all kinds of violations, the majority of which had to do with animal cruelty and dark arts practice. He wasn't even a year old yet, so the Magical Menagerie took him in, but they couldn't get anyone to adopt him, and he wasn't really doing well in the shop. He was all curled up in a corner crying when I found him, and I couldn't leave him there, Padfoot! The clerk said he wasn't eating and would've died!"

Sirius listened to the words but was having a hard time getting past staring in slightly disturbed fascination at his new pet. "This is a skunk," he finally observed, trying not to frown. What the hell kind of pet was a skunk? Better yet, what kind of _present_ was a skunk?

"Ya," Mina agreed with a hesitant smile, "But he can't spray. The lab removed his little stink glands or whatever they are to experiment on. That's why he couldn't ever be released into the wild. He would have no way of defending himself." Sirius must not have been doing a very good job of hiding his confusion and skepticism because the girl added, "Give him a chance, Padfoot. He really is a sweetheart." She scratched the creature's head again and giggled when it sniffed happily at her fingers, reaching up to climb her arm and wrap around her neck like a very odd, tacky shawl.

"Um," Sirius replied, "Ok... I'm sure he's great. Thanks, Sunny."

A skunk? Seriously? Suddenly having the boys snicker at him all week made a lot of sense. Or maybe it was a joke. Ya, it had to be a joke. Mina would laugh and produce his real present any second...

"Go to Sirius, Monty," she said instead, jostling the clingy beast, "He's going to take very good care of you."

Monty stared evilly, snarling and baring his sharp little teeth.

Monty was obviously a demon in disguise.

Mina had given him a pet demon for Christmas.

xxXxx

The pet demon came with a half ton or so of food and toys and other assorted accessories, none of which made up for the fact that they were for a bloody _skunk_. Merlin, Mina'd had some weird ideas in the past, but Monty by far topped them all. What the hell made her think he wanted a pet, let alone that one?

Sulking alone in his room after dinner, Sirius was startled when the fluff ball in question decided to climb his pant leg. Even through the thick denim, Sirius could feel Monty's little claws pricking at his skin.

"Down, beast," he hissed, shaking his leg and failing to dislodge the striped creature.

Monty crawled all the way to his lap, curled up, and fell asleep with an annoyed huff.

Sirius's heart melted. "Damnit," the boy grumbled, reaching out to scratch his new pet's little ears.

xxXxx

"Told you so," Mina smugly sing-songed as she and her brother watched Sirius babying Monty from across the room.

"You did," Remus chuckled. He sipped a bit of the champagne that Mr. Potter had allowed them in honor of the small New Year's Eve party and added, "Who would've thought Padfoot had a cuddly side?'

Mina regarded the dark-haired lad skeptically for a few moments before agreeing, "It does seem a bit at-odds with the rest of his sides... but I guess that's part of what makes Padfoot Padfoot."

She thought she saw her brother smirk as he sipped again and then remarked, "And we all know how fond you are of him just the way he is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mina challenged, not quite liking Remus's tone (or his hideous argyle sweater, but that argument was several hours behind them).

"Nothing," her twin answered teasingly, "Just... well, maybe you know he's cuddly because you cuddle with him so often yourself."

"I do not!" the girl indignantly defended.

Rolling his eyes, Remus chuckled, "What do you call it when you snuggle up with him on the couch every night?"

Mina pouted, insisting, "I call it Padfoot being too lazy to get his own damn blanket."

Remus snorted and laughed, "Whatever you say, Sunny." He wandered closer to the fire and quickly struck up a conversation with some stodgy old auror.

Mina frowned thoughtfully.

xxXxx

"A'right, lads," James slurred, grinning dopily and topping off everyone's drinks, "And lovely lady. Resolutions. Le's hear 'em."

"Pro-_ongs_," Mina complained, cranky even in her champagne-induced giddiness, "It's nearly midnight! And besides, self-improvement really isn't my style."

"S'traditional," the black-haired boy pouted.

Even Mina wasn't immune to his doe-eyes routine; smoothing her clingy dress down her lean legs, she huffed, "Fine. I resolve... to stop being so nice to people."

She was briefly surrounded by blank looks of horror and disbelief from all her friends. She would've let the joke go on a bit longer but couldn't manage to keep a straight face, bursting into laughter and wobbling against Sirius's steady, ever-present shoulder.

He slipped an arm around her waist and chuckled huskily, observing, "I think last prank of the year award goes to Sunshine here. That was pretty good."

Slumped against the opposite sofa, Remus muttered, "Try terrifying." They barely heard him over the hums of excitement from the other partygoers.

"How 'bout you, Wormy?" James snickered, poking the pudgy boy with one bare toe, "What's your goals for the near future?"

"Dunno," Peter said with a shrug, cross-legged on the hearth rug, "Get a girl to like me, I guess."

"Simple yet classic," Mina commented. She spared her friend a rare dopey smile and patted him on the head, adding, "You are a man of discerning taste."

Peter beamed and blushed just a little. Even though she had banned him from blushing at her, Mina let it slide because it was a holiday and because they'd all been drinking and because beating up one of her best friends in front of the elder Potters and all their work buddies might get a bit awkward. She inwardly resolved to work on Pete's self-confidence. Being that wimpy had to be bad for his health and possibly everyone else's.

"Well," James pointedly interrupted, "I resolve-"

"If it has anything to do with Evans, I'm going to slap you silly," Mina warned.

James spluttered for a few moments but ultimately shut his big mouth.

Sirius chuckled, squeezed Mina snug against his side. With his other arm, he scratched Monty's belly and remarked, "Don't know if this counts as a resolution, but I think I'd like a motorbike this year."

"Wicked," Mina yawned.

"Those things are death traps," Remus declared, frowning his disapproval, "And how are you going to get one anyways?"

Shrugging, Sirius replied, "Dunno. I'd just like one. As Sunshine so eloquently stated, they are wicked."

Remus continued to pout but didn't comment further, instead announcing, "I suppose my resolution is to get high marks on my OWLs."

"Bo-_ring_," James teased, "I think you should go with Wormtail's girlfriend idea. Merlin knows you could use a little _stress relief_." He punctuated the comment with a suggestive eyebrow waggle, neat black lines dancing above the rims of his thick glasses.

"Can we please not have this conversation right now," Remus suggested definitively, turning a bit pink as his friends giggled.

Mr. Potter chose that moment to save the day, buzzing through to once again top off their drinks and brightly announce, "Last thirty seconds of 1975, kids. Prepare yourselves."

Mina mused that 1975 had been a pretty bad year, what with being tortured and having her grandmother die, not to mention the unpleasantness with Mulciber and all the other attacks.

She sincerely hoped that 1976 would prove itself better but honestly wasn't very optimistic. If there was one thing a person could count on, it was being screwed over time and again by the sadistic whims of fate.

xxXxx

Sirius almost chickened out, must've changed his mind fifty times at least as the last ten seconds ticked down and the throngs of partygoers counted off.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven-"

He only finally did follow through with the possibly suicidal plan because of the look that Mina gave him just before. There wasn't really anything special about it. Just this... this _smile_. Wide and bright, teasing, like, _c'mon, I dare you_.

"Six, five four-"

It was pretty much her normal smile, but, at that moment, the challenge proved too much for the lad.

"Three, two, one!"

He took a deep breath, knowing it might be his last and entirely at peace with that possible outcome.

"Happy New Year!"

Pouncing before she could join the jubilant rendition of_ Auld Lang Syne_ that had broken out, Sirius grabbed Mina around the shoulders and planted a quick but lingering kiss on her sinful little mouth. It was... wonderful, soft and warm and plush, with just a hint of a sweet champagne tingle lingering from the midnight toast. Well worth the beating he might've caught in retaliation.

She immediately pulled away, but Sirius was stupidly pleased to watch her blush all the way up to her lovely ears, the color creeping downward as well and disappearing beneath the low neckline of her simple yet stunning black dress.

"What the bloody hell was that?" she hissed, eyes darting all over to presumably make sure that no one of importance had witnessed the act that had just transpired.

James, Remus, and Peter were busy toasting and exchanging hearty, slightly drunken hugs.

Grinning smugly, Sirius claimed, "It's good luck to kiss a pretty girl at midnight of the new year. And it's the best luck of all to kiss the most beautiful girl at the party."

She stared and stammered for a few long moments, all marvelously flustered. Finally Mina just threw a hard elbow into his gut and turned away, still rather red but obviously intent on ignoring the kiss and its perpetrator.

Sirius scooted a bit closer to her, thoroughly enjoying the fruits of his risk and planning on making many more. Fruits and risks, that was. He certainly couldn't back down. No, Sirius was all in.

"So," he began, in his silkiest, most seductive tone, "You want to hear my real resolution?" _To make you mine_.

With a peevish glare, Mina responded, "Something tells me that I really don't."

"C'mon," the young man chuckled, still insistently inserting himself well inside his companion's personal space, "Bet you'll like it."

"Padfoot," she scolded softly but dangerously, "If you want to snog again, then just say so, but quit screwing around out in the open before someone sees!"

Pouting, Sirius retreated a bit. "Wouldn't want that," he grumbled, kind of despondent. Getting the girl and yet not really getting the girl (repeatedly) was a bit hard on his ego. Not to mention frustrating as all hell. How was he supposed to make Mina understand that she meant more to him than just a convenient kiss and grope?... but that he also wanted to do those things, because they were awesome, too?

xxXxx

Sirius sulked throughout the rest of the party, through helping with the clean up and all the way back to his room. The sky was light by then, and the young man's bones ached with fatigue. His chest was numb with heartache. He felt like a silly little trollop with an unrealistic crush, like he was only being used for his body... like every girl who'd ever loved him had probably felt after he used them and then tossed them away... damnit. Karma was a real bitch sometimes.

He was so caught up in his thoughts, drifting half awake, that he didn't hear the distinctive click and whine of his door as it opened. He didn't hear Mina creep carefully across the floor but turned his head and she was just _there_, a too-big quidditch jersey hanging off one bony shoulder and barely skimming her knees. Her whole willowy body backlit and glowing with the rosy early morning sunshine. She pulled back his covers and slid in beside him.

"You're a weird bloke, you know that?" she laughed softly, frigid bare toes making shocking contact with the flesh of Sirius's calves, "I give you a free pass, and you wait until we're in a room full of people to finally use it." She burrowed into his chest, nuzzling his jaw and adding, "Classy, Padfoot."

Sirius was having a pretty hard time thinking straight, but, in the course of submitting to his lithe bedmate's persistent caresses, he did manage to gasp, "Su-Sunny. What're you doing?"

"What's it look like?" Mina replied, voice low and throaty, damn sexy. "I believe I was promised a snogging lesson," she reminded, "Everyone else is dead asleep, so hopefully we won't be interrupted this time."

Try as he might, Sirius couldn't manage to come up with any response other than a tremendously intelligent, "Huh?"

"Unless you're too tired," the young woman said, pulling back with a skeptical, challenging, slightly mean smirk, "Am I interrupting your beauty sleep, princess?"

Mina knew every one of his damn buttons and exactly which ones to smash to get him riled up.

Growling, Sirius easily rolled girl under him, pinned her there by her wrists and hissed, "Lesson one: don't start something you're not willing to finish."

The sandy-haired she-devil taunted, "Should I be taking notes?" She didn't squirm or flinch but curled her slender fingers into her palms, stared up unblinking and sent a delicious shiver down Sirius's spine. Merlin, this girl... she was going to drive him out of his mind...

"Lesson two," he gritted with great difficulty, eyes and concentration mostly on the girl's heaving chest as his free hand wandered up the outside of her thigh. His fingertips found only unbearably soft skin until a skimpy elastic band at her hip. Sirius retreated a bit, gathered what was left of his composure and finished, "You are absolutely _gorgeous_. Don't doubt that for even a second. There isn't a straight man alive who wouldn't want you. Or do just about anything to have you."

The girl's sultry, heavy-lidded expression didn't change, but her blush returned in force. Her breath hitched.

Sirius couldn't resist pressing his face against her neck, inhaling the intoxicating scent of her, hot and earthy and sweet, a better high than any the young man had ever before experienced. He could feel her jackrabbit pulse through the thin skin of his lips and smiled when she gasped at the first tentative swipe of his tongue.

"L-Lesson three?" Mina murmured shakily, melting as she arched into his skillful touch.

Unable to put his next point into words, Sirius just settled for devouring a hot trail of flesh and then the girl's mouth, soft as he could force himself to be at first but harder and more frantic as he quickly lost control. As Mina kissed him back, clumsy and obviously inexperienced but, Merlin, _eager_, squirming beneath him, panting and mewling and struggling to free her wrists.

He only finally pulled away (breathless) when the need for oxygen became too painful to ignore. Sucking air like he'd just sprinted a marathon, Sirius stared down into Mina's swollen lips and blown pupils and knew without a doubt that he'd never want another girl as long as he lived.

xxXxx

"_She's walking down the streeeeet_, _blind to every eye she meets_."

Mina had to get him to stop singing. Hearing his deep, slightly off-key rumble was an awful distraction. And it did very strange things to her stomach.

"_Do you think you'll be the guuuuuy to make the queen of the angels sigh?_"

Plus, Remus had been giving them both very odd, curious looks ever since Sirius had taken up randomly breaking into song nearly every time Mina was in the room. She felt like throttling James for giving Sirius that damn record player for Christmas.

"_Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name? Hello. I love you. Let me jump in your game. Hello. I love you. Won't you tell me your name? Hello. I love you. Let me jump in your game._"

Sentimental dolt was making the whole situation terribly awkward for everyone involved. Just because Mina snogged him (repeatedly over the course of the break) didn't mean that they were going to get married or something. Hell, it didn't even mean that they were anything more than what they'd always been to each other. The arrangement was purely educational.

(And, oh, what an education it was turning out to be.)

"_She holds her head so hiiiiigh, like a statue in the skyyyyy. Her arms are wicked and her legs are long. When she moves my brain screams out this song._"

"Padfoot."

"_Sidewalk crouches at her feet, like a dog that begs for something sweet._"

"Padfoot!"

"_Do you hope to make her see you, fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?_"

"PADFOOT!"

He put a sudden halt to his song (and intensely awkward dance), turning that big goofy grin toward Mina as he playfully inquired, "Yes, my love? Do you have a request?" He let his hand wrap around her hip, tugging the girl against his side.

"Does _shut up the fuck up_ count as a request?" Mina hissed, horrified to find herself actually blushing. And in the middle of the damn train. The damage to her reputation would probably never be undone.

She felt Sirius grin against the top of her head as they walked, as he easily fought her feeble efforts to break free from his warm embrace. "_You know that it would be untrue_," he sang, louder, "_You know that I would be a liar, if I was to say to you, girl, we couldn't get much higher._"

"Well, this was the first time we've smoked since break started," Mina muttered, still pleasantly buzzed from the large bowl they'd shared in the men's room on the 9 3/4 platform, "Plus, that new strain we've been growing is rather potent. Not to mention prolific. We're either going to have to start selling some or commit to being a lot more baked a lot more often."

"_Come on, baby, light my fire_," the dolt continued, swaying them past the crowds, "_Come on, baby, light my fire. Try to set the night on fireeeeee._"

"Padfoot," Mina whined, elbowing the lad sharply, "Would you _quit singing_? Merlin's saggy sac! It's like living with a blasted Disney character!"

Of course, the violence and profanity did nothing to deter Sirius. He just spun Mina out a few feet and then twirled her straight into his chest, all the while crooning, "_The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire. Try now. We can only lose, and our love become a funeral pyre_."

Mina tried not to laugh at his antics, quipping, "You've got issues, mate."

Smirking, finally abandoning his Doors medley, Sirius insisted, "You love my issues."

Mina rolled her eyes.

"Admit it," the lad pestered, getting all smug and handsy as he kept her close, "You find me charming and irresistible."

"And people say that Prongs is the one with the ego," Mina grumbled. At Sirius's pleading pout, she conceded, "I find you mildly amusing and not altogether repulsive. Happy?"

Flashing a flirtatious grin, the young man countered, "Ecstatic. Now let's go snog."

"I came out here to change into my uniform," snapped Mina, "Not to swap spit with you. And while we're on the subject, how about a little discretion, eh? The last thing I need right now is for my brother to catch on to our arrangement. He is, as you well know, a bit of a prude."

"Oh," Sirius teased, "So then would you be mad to hear that I asked him for your hand in marriage?"

Mina thumped her friend hard in the gut, shouting, "Don't even joke about that, arsehole! Ministry law makes it legal for him to arrange marriages for me! Isn't that complete fucking bullshit? It's nineteen seventy-fucking-six, and men are still allowed to sell off their female relatives like bloody cattle!"

"Whoa," Sirius responded, appropriately cowed, "Sorry. Didn't realize I'd be touching a nerve."

Mina grunted, "You wouldn't, would you?"

He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Giving a strangled growl, the young woman fired back, "You just don't get it, alright? You're not a girl, and you're not a half-blood. On good days, I'm only a second-class citizen. On bad ones, I'm practically property! So excuse me for being a tad sensitive about someone acting like they can trade me around like a damn frog card!"

"You know I didn't mean it like that," he responded sadly, "And I said I was sorry."

Mina sagged a bit, strangely touched by the heartfelt apology. She wasn't sure when she'd developed such a weakness for Sirius. It was rather worrisome. "Whatever," she grumbled, finally shoving him away as they arrived at the toilets, "I'll be out in a sec."

Before she could get more than a few steps away, her companion grabbed her hand and tugged her back. "Sunshine," he murmured, tucking a lock of hair gently behind her ear, "Don't be sad just because the system is broken and people are bastards. Things can always get better."

Mina met his big gray eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. Felt herself want to believe him so badly. But that wasn't quite in her nature. "They can always get worse, too," she whispered.

With a brilliant, boyish smile, Sirius declared, "Not if we have anything to say about it."

Finding herself smiling reflexively, Mina chuckled, "Right. Us are and our beater bats are going to change the world."

"Shhhhh!" Sirius said, winking and pressing a finger against her lips, "Top secret." He began to lean in, obviously intent on stealing a kiss. And Mina was inclined to let him...

"Well, isn't this cozy."

They turned together to find David Bell glaring at them from just a few feet away. His presence surprised Mina but only because the young man had been obsessively avoiding her ever since their disastrous lunch date the summer before. He refused to even be in the same room as Mina and had never bothered to thank her for saving his worthless life during the Diagon attack. Ingrate.

He looked thinner than Mina remembered, less muscular, his once sparkling eyes hollow and his once dimpled cheeks gaunt. If she had to guess (and she was in fact a bit of an expert in the subject), Mina would say that David hadn't been eating or sleeping properly since the summer. She'd heard that he was on academic probation and in danger of being dropped from the quidditch team. Not that that would be much of a loss since he'd been playing like absolute crap all year.

"Bell," Mina snarled, "Seems like someone decided to wear his big-boy testicles today. What's the occasion?"

The gargantuan blonde Ravenclaw narrowed his dark gaze. "Just trying to get from one end of the train to the other," he growled hoarsely, "Didn't expect to be tripping over manwhores and little teases along the way."

Mina felt Sirius tense up, felt him practically vibrate with rage. But a steadying hand on his shoulder kept him from going after Bell. "That's the best you can do?" she scoffed loudly, "Manwhore and the little tease? You'd better walk away right now, Bell. You're nowhere close to our league, and you're going to get eaten alive."

Unease flickered across his once handsome, now slightly skeletal face, but the seventh-year seemed to battle it down quickly. "Like I'm afraid of you two," he snapped, "You're just petty criminals with delusions of grandeur. And you know what else? You deserve each other."

"Better a criminal than a coward!" bellowed Sirius, briefly fighting Mina's efforts to hold him back, "I don't get how you can even show your face after hiding and letting the Death Eaters slaughter all those women and children! You're a disgrace!"

"I WASN'T _HIDING_!" Bell screamed. It probably wasn't the first time he'd defended himself against the allegation. "_SHE_ KICKED ME IN THE BOLLOCKS RIGHT BEFORE! I COULD BARELY MOVE!"

"Please," Mina taunted, "The aurors found you curled up crying in an alleyway, a good fifty meters away from where I put you."

Flushing bright red, the lad blustered, "What- I didn't- how did you-"

Since she had clearly warned him to walk away, Mina didn't feel at all bad about crushing what was left of Bell's pathetic little soul. "The reports are a matter of public record," she cackled, "I just had to go ask for them."

Actually, she just had to ask Mr. Potter. And she'd only wanted to know the whole story, the parts she couldn't remember. That was all. She wouldn't have been able to function not knowing what had been done to her. Thankfully, it hadn't been any worse than what she'd already assumed. And the little tidbit about David was an added bonus.

"Now, if you don't mind," Mina said, turning away, "I'm really sick of looking at you." She grabbed Sirius's tie and made him bend a bit so she could whisper into his ear. "Remember," she murmured, "No marks, no crime."

Sirius's answering smirk was positively ferocious; he'd been wanting to go after Bell for months, and only Remus's levelheaded interference had prevented absolute carnage.

Mina left the two boys alone in the hallway.

xxXxx

Lying in bed that night, Sirius focused on the exquisite ache still singing across his knuckles and couldn't help letting a haughty smile stretch his face. Merlin's left nut, it felt good to finally pound the snot out of Bell. His cowardice had nearly cost Mina her life, and there was no way that sort of thing could occur without some form of retribution.

Sirius was going to need to be bolted in somewhere if the monsters responsible for the attack were ever actually caught.

In the dark around him, he could hear soft snores from Peter, restless shifting from Remus, unintelligible muttering from James. His friends sleeping normally. They were comforting sounds, and Sirius often found himself missing them, craving them when they weren't there. It was really nice of the Potters to give them all their own rooms over the break, but being back in the dorm was actually a relief. Sirius didn't like sleeping alone and looked forward to a peaceful night of rest.

But that was before the door creaked open and Mina's unmistakable form crept through it.

He just watched for a moment, grinning and feeling quite smug. The girl couldn't resist him.

Unfortunately, Mina bypassed his bed entirely, instead going for first her brother's dresser and then James's, riffling through the drawers and gathering an armful of garments.

"Sunny?" Sirius finally murmured, making the girl jump a bit and whirl around, "What're you doing?"

In the moonlight, Sirius could just make out her impish smirk. The girl said, "Nothing, Pads. Go back to sleep."

"If it's a prank," the young man offered delightedly, "I want in."

Mina chuckled, shutting the drawer and leaving with her armful of stolen clothing. "It's not a prank," she claimed, already mostly out the door, "See you in the morning."

"But-"

"See you in the morning," the girl repeated firmly. She cackled evilly, and then she was gone.

Sirius didn't lay back down again right away, staring after his friend in confusion for a few moments until Monty, awoken by all the commotion, swiped at him in displeasure. "Alright, alright," the teen murmured, snuggling back into bed.

xxXxx

Morning wouldn't come fast enough, but when it finally did, Sirius found himself bouncing impatiently at the base of the girls' staircase, waiting for Mina to appear.

"How on earth did I manage not to notice your absurd crush for so long?" Remus wondered aloud, flipping lazily through the Charms textbook.

"We all missed it," James contributed. He was staring at Lily again while she pretended not to notice on the other side of the room. "Guess Padfoot is sneakier than we thought," the starry-eyed lad went on, "Something to look out for, I suppose."

Sirius flipped him off but cheerfully countered, "You're just jealous because the girl I like actually lets me touch her."

Remus's head snapped up in an instant, his growl audible and menacing.

"In an entirely respectful, platonic way, of course," Sirius added, briefly afraid for his life, "Nothing even remotely dirty."

The glare did not lessen.

"And... er..." Sirius continued, backing away slowly, "Never without adult supervision?"

"Kinky," contributed Peter.

Everyone was so busy turning and staring at him that they didn't notice Mina until she jumped the last few stairs to land noisily at Sirius's side.

"Hey," James indignantly declared, "Those are my trousers!"

Mina grinned and twirled, showing off her lean, fabric-draped legs. "Yours had the skinniest arse," she replied, shoving a hand in one of the pockets as the other hand steadied the book bag on her hip, "Which was surprising. I totally figured Moony for that honor. Merlin knows he has the eating disorder for it."

They all had a good laugh at James's expense before Remus finally questioned, "What are you doing, Sunny?"

"Taking a stand for equality and female empowerment," she announced brightly, "Doing away with double standards." With another wicked grin, the girl started off toward the portrait hole and cried, "Oh, and making it look good. C'mon, lads! Breakfast awaits!"

The spring in her step was undeniable.

Remus shook his head and followed his sister, and the others didn't take long to do the same.

xxxxxxxxxx

I know better than to drink coffee, but yesterday I did. Yep, still can't tolerate caffeine. Hence the update. Now to try to sleep... Sure hope I have some reviews to read when I wake up ;)


	13. Rules of Engagement

Part 13 – Rules of Engagement

Mina was able to claim nearly a third of James's trousers by agreeing to keep quiet about what she'd found in one of his pockets. Sirius never determined whether the item in question was illegal or just horribly embarrassing, but either way, he spent weeks sulking at his almost-brother for having any part in covering Mina's lovely legs.

Then Sirius took action.

"PADFOOT!"

He resisted the urge to hide behind a nearby statue, but only because the irate girl had already spotted him. Had likely been waiting for him.

"Hello, Sunshine," the young Gryffindor greeted, offering up his bravest, most charming smile as danger stalked closer, "How are you on this lovely afternoon? Come to escort me to Care of Magical Creatures?"

With an annoyed growl, Mina hurled a large scroll at his head and demanded, "What the hell is this?"

Sirius played dumb because he knew that she hated when he did, easily catching the scroll and making a big show of inspecting its contents. "This appears to be a petition," he announced, "Nearly a thousand signatures trying to get you to go back to skirts."

Mina continued to glare, hissing, "They're all _obviously_ _forged_. By _you_. For Merlin's sake, Padfoot, _Wayne King_? _Mike Hunt_? _Connie and Anna Lingus_?"

"Shouldn't I get points for creativity?" countered Sirius, remarkably straight-faced, "Besides, I feel strongly about the issue. My life just hasn't been the same since you decided to hide away all that exquisite skin."

It wasn't like he'd been trying to piss her off; actually, Sirius had hoped that the joke would get a laugh out of Mina... then again, maybe he shouldn't have tried the stunt so close to her brother's transformation...

But Sirius never had been one for exercising personal restraint and very shortly found himself fleeing through the crowded hallways, Mina hot on his heels and doing her very best to jinx him into the next century. Over the whip of wind and the sound of his own rapid breathing, he couldn't quite make out the girl's shouted obscenities but figured they must've been pretty bad just by the shocked looks on the faces of the students he ran past.

He didn't realize he'd been hit until he actually reached the sanctuary of McGonogall's classroom, doubling over to catch his breath and having his hands meet bare knees. For a few moments, the lad was just rather confused. Then his gaze traveled a bit higher up his oddly naked legs and finally met a scandalous red tartan hem.

"Oh, bloody hell," the young man gasped, realizing that not only had Mina zapped him into a skirt, but also that the roomful of second-year Hufflepuffs was giggling at his predicament. He tried to grin bravely and shuffle out with a shred of dignity still intact.

Of course, McGonogall chose that moment to arrive for the lesson, stepping through the door and immediately stopping, blinking through several head-to-toe double-takes before bursting into laughter.

xxXxx

"Exactly how long are you going to allow this to continue?" Remus questioned, his voice actually quivering around barely contained giggles.

Watching from across the Great Hall as their friend tried to figure out how to sit in a skirt, Mina snickered, "I thought I'd give him until the moon."

Remus finally let himself guffaw briefly at Sirius's misfortune. "Three whole days?" the werewolf chuckled, "C'mon, Sunny. Does he really deserve that?"

"Honestly, no," she replied, "But as long as I have someone under my nifty new spell, I might as well let him serve as a warning to all the other sexist pigs out there. It's working quite brilliantly. Boys are more terrified of me than ever. Watch this." She snuck up behind a nearby Ravenclaw (some skinny, unremarkable blonde bloke from their own year; Mina never managed to learn his name). She yelled, "BOO!"

The boy barely jumped but, when he recognized Mina, grew wide eyed and scrambled away in abject terror, at one point actually using a startled first-year girl as a human shield.

Shaking his head, Remus commented, "I think it might be time for some new hobbies, love."

"Nonsense," she chuckled, "I'm a master of my art. Would you have asked da Vinci to stop painting?"

It was always a triumph to put a smile on her brother's face, but the feat was even more satisfying when Mina accomplish it so close to the moon. She knew he must be feeling like shit—achy and angry and exhausted—but she also knew that having a laugh actually helped. One of the few things.

They joined their friends toward the middle of the table, Mina smirking smugly across at Sirius's expression of discomfort. The young man didn't say anything, though he pulled out the old puppy eyes and pouted quite miserably.

With a wicked grin, Mina scolded, "Don't give me that look, arsehole. Just consider yourself lucky I didn't wax you, too."

"You know I have to retaliate, right?" Sirius responded, narrowing his steely gray gaze, "And I'll only offer as much mercy as I'm shown."

Snorting, Mina quipped, "I'm _so_ scared." She started assembling her dinner. The second she slid a spoon into the platter of mashed potatoes, the contents of the dish exploded directly into her face.

For a moment, she was just shocked. Then, as she heard her friends laughing uproariously, Mina got pissed. "You're a dead man," she warned, wiping potatoes out of her eyes so that she could glare at the cackling jerk responsible.

Sirius answered with a wide grin, mocking, "I'm _so_ scared."

xxXxx

"I'm kind of terrified," James admitted, glancing warily between his two feuding friends, "This is Marauder-on-Marauder hostility It's going to end badly for all of us. And that's to say nothing of the collateral damage to the other students."

"He started it," Mina hissed, locked in an intense staring contest with her current nemesis.

Scoffing, Sirius spread his long legs and declared, "I'm wearing a damn skirt! You definitely started it!"

With a wicked smirk, the girl replied, "Fine. Then you had it coming."

Sirius sulked. That might've been true, but of all the possible outcomes of his petition joke, being stuck in a skirt was one of his least favorites. In fact, it hadn't really registered as an option until about two seconds after he discovered that his attire had been altered so traumatically.

"_Dra_matically," corrected Remus.

After a brief moment of confusion and surprise that his friend had read his thoughts, Sirius realized that he'd probably just been speaking without meaning to. Again. "I like mine better," he said, "Captures the extreme emotional distress."

"Cry baby," Mina taunted. Merlin, she was hot when she was being all devilish and smug.

Sirius could appreciate that about her even when he happened to be the victim of her malevolence. Head held high, the young man primly crossed his arms and legs. "Sadist," he countered.

Sighing heavily, Remus interrupted, "We're not going to get this settled if you two insist on name-calling."

He used his scolding adult voice, so both Sirius and Mina stopped squabbling and contented themselves with heated glares. Sirius wished he had Mina's lovely legs with which to distract himself, but no: she was still wearing James's shapeless trousers. Such a damn waste.

"Now," Remus continued, "You've both taken your shot at each other. At this point, you're pretty much even. James and I are proposing a truce-"

"Never!" Sirius and Mina chimed together.

Remus sighed and sent his gaze heavenward, grumbling something that sounded like it may have included the words _stubborn fools_ and _foreplay_.

(Sirius could totally get into that idea, but it was hardly the time or place.)

"Fine," declared Mina's twin, "Then I suppose we need some rules of engagement."

"No asking for outside help," James contributed, "Especially from any of us. We shouldn't have to choose sides."

"No fire," said Peter. He shuddered, likely remembering past abuses of the element.

Remus nodded in agreement and added, "Dorm rooms are off-limits. I'm not waking up covered in leeches again."

"Oh," James jumped in again, "And don't let Lily catch you. It really lowers her opinion of me when she sees my friends doing... the things that we do."

Snorting, Mina taunted, "You're just figuring that out now?"

The bespectacled teen shrugged and replied, "Her last few get-away-from-me rants included some mention of the _deviant, delinquent_ company I keep. I took it as a sign."

"Right..." drawled Remus, briefly fixing James with a rather bewildered stare (like he couldn't believe that anyone could be that genuinely clueless), "Also, you two have until the moon to get this settled. Any longer and it risks becoming more than just a silly spat."

Though he marginally resented the strange set of rules (resented most rules, really), Sirius blandly agreed, "Sounds reasonable. Sunny?"

"Whatever," she snarled, jumping up from the sofa and stomping away toward the portrait hole, "Let's add that the rest of you stay out of our way on top of not helping. Last thing I need is someone taking pity on the dumb slob and ruining my plans."

The _slam_ and subsequent silence that followed her exit were slightly menacing. Especially to Sirius, who knew without a doubt that Mina had left to think up horrible things to do to him.

(And her mind was certainly geared toward such ventures.)

He smoothed the skirt across his lap (wincing as the prickly wool clung uncomfortably to his leg hairs, wincing again as he caught himself seriously considering Mina's offer of body waxing). He coughed and murmured, "So... who wants to be in charge of making sure that she doesn't maim or murder me?"

"Pass," James remarked bitterly, rubbing the back of his head, "I'm still growing out the bald patch from the last time I got in the way of one of Mina's rampages." With an insufferable smirk that nearly got him slapped, the lad added, "Sucks to be you, mate."

Sighing, Sirius agreed, "Sometimes, it really, _really _does."

xxXxx

"Um... I think we're almost late to class."

Even though she was making an effort toward Mary MacDonald, Mina just couldn't bring herself to stop being annoyed by the pudgy girl's meekness and whining. "Binns doesn't care, so why should we?" she hissed, poking her head around the corner to make sure that no one had sprung her trap, "Now _shut up_."

Fuck James for putting her on bodyguard duty. The Slytherins had been crushed so thoroughly that they had no chance at the Quidditch Cup and, therefore, no reason to go after Mary until next school year at the earliest. In fact, it would be in the snakes' interest to keep MacDonald off limits for the time being: replacing an injured player was a lot harder and a lot more psychologically devastating the day before rather than over six months before a game.

But James wasn't taking any chances, wanted the "secret weapon" to have at least one person escorting her at all times. And though Mary was rather uncomfortable with all the attention her spectacular keeping had earned, the free bodyguard service was one perk she absolutely adored and had been taking full advantage of.

Mina could understand that, given the givens. But still: being stuck with the cow on a regular basis wasn't getting any easier.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Mary, hugging herself and shuffling aimlessly as the crowds streamed past their secluded alcove, "I thought you _liked_ Sirius."

Shrugging, Mina replied, "Most days. Doesn't mean he's allowed to get away with being a prick. Consider this a life lesson, Mac. If you let someone walk over you once, then chances are they're going to do it again. And they'll probably bring friends and pointy shoes."

Mary said nothing but went on shuffling, obviously still anxious about... well, everything. She was terribly neurotic, Mina had come to learn. The dark-haired behemouth rarely managed to go a full hour without twisting herself up about one thing or another; her default seemed to involve whether or not people were staring. Well, maybe she should've thought of that before deciding to be so ridiculously tall.

They passed another few minutes in tense silence, waiting for Mina's prey to make his auspicious appearance. If the bastard had overslept, then Mina's next prank was going to have to be doubly bad to punish Sirius for ruining perfectly a good prank. And that was just a lot more work than the girl felt like doing.

Finally, Mina spotted her friend's familiar form, his broad shoulders and long hair peeking over the top of the crowd. He seemed to be traveling alone, jogging a bit in an effort to get to History on time and hurriedly stuffing his breakfast into his mouth as he went. Though his head swiveled and his eyes swept the hallway for danger, he remained on course and ultimately stepped right where Mina wanted him.

Unfortunately (or perhaps very fortunately, depending on your opinion of the redhead), Evans decided she had some important bitching to do and suddenly appeared before Sirius like a creepy ginger ninja. She opened her mouth to speak but never got that far before the charm went off and sent her and the intended target crashing straight through a nearby window.

As she and the rest of an impressive crowd of onlookers gathered to watch Sirius and Evans go hurtling across the grounds and eventually into the center of the frigid lake with an impressive splash, Mina chuckled, "Oh man. Prongs is going to kill me..."

xxXxx

Swimming out of the nearly frozen lake would've been a lot easier without Evans's constant threats and attempts to drown him. But Sirius figured that must've been part of Mina's plan. She'd often remarked that any situation could be made many degrees more unpleasant with just the ginger's loud-mouthed presence.

Sirius finally managed to crawl up onto the bank and collapse in an exhausted heap, panting and pissed and already plotting all the numerous ways he was going to make Mina pay for the impromptu dip.

Evans flopped down beside him but not before delivering one last feeble kick to his side. "I hate you _all_," she spat, coughing out a few lungfuls of murky water and curling into a shivering ball of sopping, tangled crimson hair and blue-tinged flesh.

"Wasn't my fault," replied Sirius. He was so cold that his brain felt numb, his teeth chattering so hard they might crack. Fumbling with his wand, the young man tried to explain, "Mina-"

"I know she _did it_," Evans interrupted furiously, "But you're all responsible! If you weren't such immature bastards-" She cut herself off with a particularly violent shudder, moaning, "God, I'm _so cold_."

Despite the fact that he couldn't quite make his fingers completely obey him, Sirius managed to get his wand out and pointed, to get himself and Evans somewhat dry and under a weak warming charm. He felt better but still pretty awful, achy and completely drained, his whole frame wracked with tremors and the sensation of billions of needles sinking into his skin. The thought of walking up the hill back to the castle very nearly brought him to tears.

Luckily, there seemed to be a large throng of teachers and students rushing down to meet them. Some time before they arrived (Sirius never could be sure exactly when, his recollection of everything from crunching buttery toast between his molars to waking up abruptly in the Hospital Wing always slightly obscured by crystals of ice), Evans snuggled under his arm and into his chest, seeking body heat. She was still mostly conscious, grumbling something about never living this down. But, Merlin, she was _warm_. And, even though he knew that James might kill him, Sirius couldn't help hugging her tight.

xxXxx

"I categorically deny all knowledge of or involvement in the events of this morning," Mina claimed, stubbornly crossing her arms as she glared across the headmaster's desk, "Further inquiries can be delivered via my attorney, and everything I say beyond this point is entirely hypothetical, completely off the record, and by no accounts an admission of guilt."

Dumbledore raised a speculative eyebrow, tenting his fingertips in front of his lips. After staring for what seemed like forever, the old man declared, "Usually you let me ask a few questions before referring me to your attorney."

Shrugging, Mina replied, "That was before I started getting blamed for things I didn't actually do. Just watch, sir. What started as a stupid prank to get back at my idiot friend is going to be turned into an unprovoked assault on muggle-borns." With a snort, she added, "As if her bloody parents being muggles ever occurred to me as a reason to hate the stuck-up slag."

Though Dumbledore almost never laughed outright at any of her quips or antics, Mina could usually get a glimmer of amusement out of him. That day, his expression remained blank, perhaps a bit annoyed. He probably had a lot more important things to be dealing with, and she decided not to press her luck.

"Fine," she sighed, "Detention until summer?"

"I think that would be best," the old man replied, "You can report to Mr. Filch."

Mina groaned, "Oh, come on! That's just spiteful! Give me to Slughorn if you want me to suffer, but Filch always ends up adding on sessions for no reason! I'll be scrubbing toilets until I graduate!"

Looking very close to the limit of his patience, Dumbledore slowly declared, "You may ask Professor Slughorn if he has use for you. Now, that will be all. Please let yourself out."

Mina did, not really looking forward to seeing her friends. They'd probably be mad, James especially. Which totally wasn't fair: it wasn't like she meant for Evans to get caught in the crossfire. And why should Mina suffer just because the uptight prefect had such a knack for turning up where she was least wanted and at exactly the worst time?

She settled on a smoke before heading back to the Tower. No sense walking into an angry ambush without a little buzz going.

Like always, crowds parted as she passed, people looking far more spooked than usual by her presence. But that wasn't too bothersome. Mina would've preferred being avoided for her unpleasant personality and random fits of violence rather than the absurd suspicion that she was an agent of the Dark Lord, but she would take what she could get for the time being. As stupid as most of her peers were, no one was brainless enough to believe such nonsense for long... hopefully...

The weather was still cold but warming more every day. In fact, watching the last of the ice melt off the surface of the lake early that morning had been what gave Mina the idea for her prank. Spring was a wonderful time.

And the owlery was a good place to smoke. It smelled so strongly of birds and their droppings that no one could even detect the scent of marijuana. Mina hadn't yet shared this discovery with Sirius so felt fairly secure in the location. She counted on his retaliation but didn't expect it for at least a few hours. Not until he managed to thaw and drag himself out of the Hospital Wing. Ha.

And so she enjoyed a smoke. Really enjoyed it, as she normally did. But the enjoyment barely lasted twenty minutes before a massive black owl swooped down to perch on her knee.

Mina glared down at the sleek beast and, with loose, leaden limbs tried to shove it away, muttering, "Shoo... shoo! Stupid bird."

Only when it had dumped the letter it carried did the bird leave, circling upward and disappearing out through one of the high windows. Not a school owl then... weird.

Mina inspected the letter, turned the silky white envelope over in her hands and frowned at the neatly inked name: her own.

_Miss Romina Joy Lupin_.

She broke through the black wax seal and unfolded the pages inside.

xxXxx

He had a vague sense of a pleasant dream, something no doubt unremarkable but still nice. Peaceful. And bloody warm.

And then Sirius jolted awake with his ears ringing, the side of his head throbbing from an almighty wallop. After a few dizzy moments, he managed to focus on Mina standing beside his bed and was instantly scared for his life.

"You _arsehole_!" she shrieked, so mad that her clenched fists shook at her sides as her pretty yet absolutely terrifying face glowed crimson, "A prank is one thing, but you have _no fucking right_ to even _joke_ about something so bloody _awful_!"

"Uh..." Sirius intelligently replied, "What?"

She tried to punch him again, but he was able to fend off the blow. Unfortunately, the effort sent him and Mina tumbling onto the floor, where she continued her determined attempts to inflict serious damage.

Evans grumbled something no doubt disparaging from a nearby cot but made no effort save Sirius from certain death.

Ungrateful ginger menace.

"Sunny!" Sirius cried, trying his best to wrestle his friend into submission without actually hurting her, "Merlin! Mina! OW! Stop! I don't know what you're talking about! I didn't do anything! I've been- OW! Asleep!"

"He was," Evans contributed peevishly, "And I'd like to be again, if you don't mind."

Though her entirely lithe body remained tense and ready to strike, Mina momentarily stilled in Sirius's embrace. "You didn't send the letter?" she challenged.

"What letter?" Sirius bellowed, pretty damn frustrated and more than a little annoyed (edging toward reluctantly turned on as he realized he was straddling his gorgeous dream girl), "My fingers are fucking frostbitten! I doubt I could sign my own name right know, let alone write a letter! You almost killed me!"

Mina rolled her eyes, snapping, "I'm not an idiot, Padfoot. I added charms to make sure you wouldn't freeze or drown. In fact, you wouldn't even be in here if it wasn't for Evans interfering and spreading the magic too thin. Don't be so dramatic." She seemed a bit calmer, but there was still a distressing amount of rage vibrating off the girl. At least it didn't seem to be directed squarely at Sirius any longer.

"My vengeance will be swift and horrible," he declared, "But it will definitely not come through the post."

Narrowing her eyes, Mina regarded him skeptically for a few moments. She seemed to believe him but still appeared pretty mad.

And then she was suddenly, strangely excited. "Oh," she said, smiling a decidedly evil smile.

(It either gave Sirius a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach or else a very, _very_ good feeling in the pit of his stomach; deciding which was often very difficult when it came to Mina.)

"Then I get to murder my father," Mina continued, giggling gleefully before jumping to her feet and dashing out of the room.

Briefly, there was silence.

"That just happened, right?" Evans finally inquired, "I'm not hallucinating?"

Sirius nodded.

Evans huffed and shifted in bed, growling, "Didn't think so."

xxXxx

"What do you mean _engaged_?" Remus gaped, staring down at the letter like it was the cruel joke Mina had originally thought.

The girl added a few more lines to her response, answering, "Seems as though our deadbeat father didn't get the hint when Grandmother had his parental rights severed. He's trying to pimp me out to the _honorable_ Lord Timaeus Emmanuel Calloway III, 8th Duke of Aurelia, who is very much looking forward to coming here to collect his new bride. Is _shithead _one word or two?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus commented, "You don't need to write back. Whatever deal Father made is completely invalid."

"Ya," agreed Mina, "But I'm going to need to find the old drunk if I'm going to kill him. The arsehole who's calling himself my fiancé is the best lead."

"Mina," her twin warned.

She cut him off before he could get to the scolding. "Relax, Moony," the girl declared, "I mean _kill_ in the metaphorical sense. I know you wouldn't approve of anything more. No matter how much the pathetic prick deserves it."

Though he obviously wasn't entirely appeased, Remus chose not to comment further, instead slumping further into the common room couch and remarking, "We should bring this to Dumbledore."

"Already done," Mina quipped, "He said not to worry and that he'd look into the situation. I told him that Father probably just lost me in a card game. Or possibly traded for a fifth of whiskey." She finished her letter with a flourish, blowing briefly on the ink to make sure it was dry. After a pithy pause, she inquired, "So how mad is Prongs?"

With a snort, Remus responded, "What do you think?"

Mina pouted. "But it wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know that the object of his ridiculous obsession would walk right into the prank?" After another moment of thought and a small chuckle, the girl added, "Though I suppose dreadful timing is at least something they finally have in common."

"I'm sure he'll be happy to hear it," laughed Remus. He put an arm around his sister's shoulders as she stood and wandered out of the Tower. They were nearly halfway to the owlery before he spoke again, stating simply, "Nothing bad is going to happen to you."

"Bad things happen to everyone," argued Mina, grinning and patting her brother on his skinny hip, "But I'll tap-dance naked on the staff table before I'm forced into a marriage. He's probably ninety and fat and bald and..." She grimmaced, "Ugh. Thanks a fucking lot for giving me that mental picture!"

Chuckling and shaking his head, Remus murmured, "I love you, too, Sunny."

xxXxx

"I'm in," said James, stone-faced and pale.

Sirius looked up from the parchment that held his elaborate, _top-secret_ secret revenge plan and coyly inquired, "Whatever do you mean, darling Jim?"

The lad's quizzical eyebrows vaulted over the tops of his eyeglass frames and disappeared briefly under the wild jet fluff of his manic fringe. Then he settled back into his pouty frown and sat beside his friend at the Gryffindor table. "Sunny involved Lily," he grumbled, "So I'm involving myself. How are we getting her back?" After a moment of thought, he added, "There should be fire. And we should get her in her dorm."

"Unnecessary," replied Sirius, glancing around for spies before proudly unfurling his plot, "Behold my genius."

James perused the parchment, very shortly breaking into a sinister smile. "Oh, this is good," he said, "This is _really_ good. It's almost a shame to waste it on a friend."

"Almost," Sirius agreed. He fiddled with his quill for a bit, drawing the tip back and forth across his upper lip until he had to fight down the urge to sneeze. With a brief sniffle, he inquired, "Any idea what the letter thing was all about?"

Shaking his head, James replied, "None. She came at me screaming but went away with a creepy smile once I told her I didn't send it."

"Same," said Sirius, rubbing the side of his head, "Must've been something bad if she thought it was a prank. And if it has to do with their dad-"

"The man had better hide if he wants to go on living," James laughed, reluctantly bemused by the source of his own current ire. Mina always did have that power over her friends.

Sirius grinned. Then scooted away a bit nervously. "You aren't upset about me and Lily, are you?"

"No," his friend answered slowly, "Should I be? I mean, you didn't cop a feel while you were trying to preserve body heat, did you?"

"No," Sirius proclaimed, rather proud of himself, actually. It showed great personal restraint that all he'd done was try to keep them both from dying. Despite all her flaws, Evans certainly did have a nice pair...

With a chuckle, James responded, "Well, there you go. Perfectly innocent." After a moment, he added, "Just don't make it a habit. You're already after my sort-of sister. I don't know if we could still be best mates if you added making moves on my future wife to that equation."

Sirius smirked. Then frowned. "Too bad my future wife and your future wife hate each other," he said, "That's going to make for some awkward holidays."

"They'll bond over their shared adoration of us, of course," the lad reported with absolute confidence.

Unfortunately, Sirius had been drinking at the time, and the pumpkin juice that left his nostrils sprayed overhead in a spectacular arch that nearly reached the next table.

xxXxx

Mina huffed and did her best to tune out the annoying drone of Binns's latest barely bearable lecture, glaring at the side of Pete's head as he dozed noisily beside her. Bastard could sleep anywhere. And sometimes holding back from committing malicious acts on him in his unconsciousness took all her limited will power. The fact that Remus held her arm down whenever she tried to give in to the urge also helped. His skill at being able to simultaneously take notes and supervise his sister was as impressive as it was annoying.

A quick, furtive glance toward the other back corner confirmed that James was, indeed, still alternating between shooting out dirty looks and laughing creepily to himself, stroking his patchy, supposedly sinister goatee. Sirius, on the other hand, appeared far too calm. He had been ignoring her since the incident in the Hospital Wing, and Mina couldn't help being worried about what sort of retaliation was coming her way. But then again, it was almost impossible to take the lad seriously in that saucy little schoolgirl skirt...

She felt Remus's hand on her wrist and realized that she was about to shove a jellybean up Pete's nose.

After disposing of the intended foreign object in the most obvious and delicious way, Mina sighed and slumped back in her seat, scanning the room again and finding that not much had changed: neither her classmates nor her teacher were doing anything even remotely interesting...

Except perhaps MacDonald, who quickly blushed and looked away the second that she was caught gazing longingly in Mina's direction. Intrigued, Mina repeated the experiment several times and got the same result twice more. Confused and slightly uncomfortable with being stared at, she got up and changed seats (with absolutely no acknowledgement from Binns), but the looks did not follow; they stayed in the same general vicinity.

Marginally relieved that she wasn't the subject of Mac's odd attentions, Mina put the girl out of her mind and moved on to other means of entertainment. These means took the form of harassing her new neighbors. When Benjy Fenwick began squealing and frantically beating at the small fire that had resulted, Remus sighed heavily and followed to Mina's new location.

Minutes later, Mary's look followed as well.

A suspicion very quickly became a realization. "Oh, _hell_ no!" Mina shouted.

Binns didn't even pause, but the rest of the class stared at her in fear and wonder.

"Shhh!" hissed her brother, "It's almost over! Just behave for ten more minutes!"

Not at all appeased, Mina groused, "Mac totally has a thing for you!"

Remus blushed and shared a brief glance with the equally flustered girl. "You don't know that," he insisted, "Be quiet."

Mina gaped at her brother. "You like her, too!" she accused, "You bloody bastard! Why do all you damn boys insist on going after the most annoying twats I know!"

"I thought you were getting along with Mary," he defended weakly, hopefully.

With an incredulous scoff and animated eye roll, Mina snapped, "That doesn't mean she's suddenly sister-in-law material, wanker!"

"I never said I was going to marry her!" the sandy-haired werewolf hissed back, "We've just walked to Divination together a few times. She's _nice_."

"Exactly!" bellowed Mina.

"Miss Lupin," Binns interrupted, finally unable to ignore her disruptiveness, "Is there a problem?"

"Calypsos's warty tits! Where do I even start?"

Remus groaned and slammed his head against the desk.

xxXxx

After having to stay after class and discuss proper language, Mina was not in a particularly good mood. In fact, if Sirius had to guess, he would say that she was very rapidly approaching a killing spree.

It was probably the worst time to spring his prank on her, but mayhem waits for no man, no matter what vicious woman is poised to murder said man.

He trailed her carefully, trying to remain unseen as his target swore and shoved her way through the throngs of other students. Most scurried to avoid the girl's rampage, but an unlucky few got mowed down.

She was going to seriously regret it in about five seconds.

**_Bang!_**

And she was gone in an instant, nothing but a smoking scorch mark and the frightened whispers of the crowd to show she'd been there at all.

Sirius grinned and began handing out flyers, occasionally tugging down the back of his asinine skirt.

xxXxx

Mina couldn't move, not one single muscle no matter how much she tried to lash out in absolute rage and mortification. The only reason she knew what had been done to her was that the obnoxious sadist responsible for the state had set up a mirror. Staring into her painted-on blue eyes, Mina concentrated on all the _atrocious_ things she was going to do to Sirius as soon as she was released.

Because he'd turned her into a fucking _piñata_. Who did that? Who turned their best friend into a cheap-looking candy-filled paper-mâché effigy, hung her from the ceiling of an empty classroom, and charged a galleon a person for one minute of unlimited swings?

Everyone so far had left with handfuls of sweets, laughing gleefully and proclaiming to the next in line that it was the best money they'd ever spent.

It wasn't that the beatings really hurt. In fact, the sensation of having one's hollow cardboard body bashed repeatedly with a beater bat was uncomfortable but not nearly as bad as it sounded. Mostly dull pressure, like a mild cramp. Sirius wasn't that mean and had obviously performed the complex transfiguration quite well, without transferring normal human pain into the finished product. Flitwick would've been immeasurably proud.

Mina, however, was going to fucking _murder_ her friend.

As soon as he let her down.

Sirius's smirking face swam into her line of vision as he repaired the latest candy hemorrhage with a brief wand flick. "Hanging in there, Sunny?" he giggled, "I knew this would be popular, but the amount of money I'm making is just _obscene_. The line is over an hour long, and apparently people have been leaving this room and getting right back in it."

Oh, how she wished she could see who was hitting her. Fear of reprisal had encouraged the customers to make good use of the ridiculous clown mask their gracious host had so thoughtfully provided.

She was just going to have to get revenge on the entire school. That would be the only way to make sure that all those who had taken part were punished in the manner they so richly deserved.

Sirius first though. Something public and permanently disfiguring.

"Who's winning?" the idiot taunted, "Sirius is winning! Sirius Black, sexy genius, has bested Hogwarts's most feared female!" He leaned in close, breath smelling of Mina's chocolate entrails as he shouted, "HA!"

He was fucking _dead_.

xxXxx

No one was particularly surprised when Remus marched into breakfast the next morning and promptly punched Sirius right in the jaw.

"OW!" the black-haired teen cried, sprawled gracelessly on the floor and cradling the throbbing, swelling injury, "Bloody hell, Moony! It was a _joke_!"

"Mr. Lupin!" McGonogall shouted as she rushed to intervene, "What is the meaning of this?"

Fists still balled at his sides, Remus breathed heavily through clenched teeth a few times before snarling, "I'm not sorry! He fucking deserved it!"

The professor was so startled by the normally reserved prefect's anger and backtalk that she didn't immediately know how to react, ultimately settling for dragging him away by the elbow. Hopefully, the outburst would be attributed to the approaching moon. He certainly looked the part, skin pale and sunken eyes wild.

Sirius climbed back to his feet, grumbling but unable to be mad at his friend. The prank—while lucrative, hilarious, and absolutely grand—may have been a bad idea. Sirius had come to this conclusion somewhere in his third hour of orchestrating the piñata party, when Mina's anger grew to the almost unfathomable point of allowing her to begin fighting her way out of the transfiguration.

Sirius and all his prospective customers had fled for their lives.

He hadn't seen the girl since, but the paranoia alone was starting to take its toll.

He knew she was out there, watching and waiting, and Sirius might actually lose some important bits when she decided to strike.

Unfortunately, he hadn't counted on Remus being involved past some righteous indignation on his sister's behalf.

"Padfoot," James whispered, wide-eyed, "Your face!"

That was all the warning he got before, starting at the spot where he'd been punched, the slab of skin and muscle that made up his stunning features peeled off the bone and slid to the table with a wet, very distressing _plop_.

Like a fat, flat, bloody worm, the face blob wriggled and oozed between the dishes and disappeared before anyone could really register what was happening.

That was when onlookers began shrieking in terror at Sirius's suddenly skeletal visage.

xxXxx

Writing the ransom note helped distract Mina from the itchy bits of paper-mâché lingering all over her body. The spell damage probably would've been simple enough to fix, but the girl didn't have time to be begging assistance in the Hospital Wing. Not with a mere day remaining in the prank war and so many evil ideas rushing through her head. They needed to go to war more often, if only for the inspiration.

"Don't scratch," scolded her brother as he arrived in the empty classroom and immediately disposed of his tainted gloves, conjuring a wash basin to remove any potential trace of the modified skin-removal potion from his knuckles.

Sirius's semi-sentient slab of face came crawling through the door shortly after, climbing onto a nearby desk and stopping with a filthy, gelatinous quiver.

The twins shared strangely similar wicked smirks.

"How's this sound?" Mina asked, brandishing the finished note with a flourish, "_Dear Loser, If you ever want to see your ugly mug ever again, deliver all your piñata profits via owl to the enclosed location. Tell no one. Sincerely, the face-nappers._"

With a shrug, Remus remarked, "Works for me. When's phase two?"

Mina chuckled gruffly, reporting, "Dinner."

xxXxx

"I got it," James said, obviously fighting a rather severe bout of giggles, "The Phantom of the Opera."

Sirius glared through the small eyeholes in his full-face bandages and, even though it was very difficult without lips, snarled, "Shut up!"

Well, he that's what he meant to say. It ended up sounding more like _shu'uh!_

He was going to _kill_ Mina.

Never mind that she was hot and that he loved her like crazy. That psychotic little bitch was going to _die_.

"If you're trying to be Guy Fawkes, then you'll need the moustache," James went on, fiddling gleefully with his wand.

Just one menacing glare from Sirius seemed to make him think better of it.

Rolling his eyes, James soothed, "Relax, mate. She'll give it back. You paid the ransom."

Sirius wasn't so sure but, at the time, didn't feel like he had any option other than to do as the evil witch asked and hope that she could be trusted to hold up her end.

A great hush fell over the Great Hall as Mina arrived smirking and strode straight for the table. She sat all the way on the opposite end from her two friends (Peter having proclaimed them all insane and barricaded himself in the dorm for the duration). She said nothing but primly served herself a large bowl of the hearty beef stew that was the main course that night; the dish was a widespread favorite for almost all of the student body.

Sirius didn't want to go over there, didn't want to give her the upper hand. But he wanted his face back more.

"Well?" he demanded, throwing himself down across from her.

Her murky blue eyes sparkled with sinister delight.

"Give it back, Mina," Sirius warned, wishing he could look or sound more threatening with his head swaddled in gauze. Actually, he just hoped that she could understand his garbled speech.

_Gi'i'ack, 'ina_.

She slurped noisily at her stew, grinning around the spoon like something wonderfully awful was about to happen... which it very well might've been.

If Sirius'd had any money left, he would've bet on it.

Remus joined his sister shortly, kissing her temple and then making himself a large salad... which was strange. He loved stew, especially so close to the moon when his appetite for red meat reached almost heart-attack-inducing proportions.

"Aren't you going to eat, Padfoot?" Mina questioned, obviously noticing that he'd noticed the oddity, "It's delicious tonight. Must be a new recipe."

James latched onto his bicep and tried to shout, but the only sound he could manage was a strangled, squeaky gasp as he pointed shakily into the large stew pot.

A chunk of Sirius's lips had bubbled to the surface, bobbing slack amidst the carrot slices and wedges of potato.

The same was apparently happening to other parts of Sirius's face in other stew pots around the room because people began screaming and retching and fainting, running off in disgust.

And Mina just grinned through it all.

xxXxx

The next morning, even the lucky few who hadn't dined on Sirius stew looked queasy and unsettled, jumpy and tinged green as they dove frantically out of the path of the criminal mastermind responsible.

Because the war was over and because, as horrifying as it had been at the time, Mina's prank was a superb one, Sirius obliged her by keeping on the bandages even though his face had been returned intact and restored to its former glory.

"Let them sweat for awhile," she sniggered shortly after dropping Remus off in and picking Sirius up from the very crowded Hospital Wing, "Prongs, too. I know he was in on the piñata thing."

Sirius chuckled, slung an arm around her shoulders. "You sold it perfectly," he said, "I actually thought you'd cannibalized me."

She smirked and replied, "Just transfigured the beef. It was genius, right? You should've seen your face." She giggled and added, "So to speak."

"Spiteful harpy," Sirius accused fondly.

Mina countered, "Whiny girl."

They walked along in companionable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet hallways and the end to their hostilities. For all that Mina was vicious and insane, she generally didn't stay mad at her friends.

Finally, Sirius inquired, "What was the letter thing about?"

Mina rolled her eyes. "My idiot father is trying to marry me off to some fucking geezer," she said, "It won't stick, but I was understandably perturbed by the news. Too bad Moony won't let me kill him for real."

Sirius found himself unable to speak past the red hot ball of rage burning in his gut.

"Merlin's sac, Padfoot," Mina scolded as she let her hand drift distractingly low on his back, "Relax. You're shaking. It's not actually going to happen."

"Bloody hell right it won't!" he blustered furiously, already planning all the ways he could murder any bastard dumb enough to stake such a claim.

Mina raised a slim eyebrow at his outburst, chuckling, "Aren't you sweet."

The young man stopped them both in their tracks, held Mina by both slim shoulders. "Over my dead body, ok?" he insisted, "I'll _never_ let that happen to you! Not fucking _ever_!"

The force and conviction of his declaration seemed to briefly startle the girl. She stared up at him curiously.

But that didn't last. "I appreciate it, Paddy-cakes," she said with a genuine smile, "But really, don't worry. No one makes me do a damn thing." She slid her arm into his and rested her head on his shoulder, starting them back off down the hallway. "Besides," the sandy-haired she-wolf snickered, "All I would have to do is meet the guy, and he'd be tripping over himself to get away. I'd make a horrible wife."

"No, you won't," the teen argued as he battled down his fury, "You just need to find someone who's man enough to put up with your violence and insanity."

She lightly declared, "So far that's just you and my magnificent twin." After a beat, she added, "Used to include Prongs, but I fear this latest stunt might've scarred him for life. At the very least turned him into a shameful vegetarian."

It was quite possible. But Sirius still said, "I'm sure he'll recover. Though he still can't be in the husband pool. It would take a miracle to make him get over Evans."

"True," the girl mourned theatrically, "And I can't very well marry Moony either. We're not pure-blooded enough to have those feelings for one another."

"Hey!" Sirius objected with a teasing nudge, "Not all of us are attracted to our damn relatives, thank you very much!"

Flashing her fangs, Mina cackled, "As usual, dear Padfoot, you are the exception that proves the rule."

"And apparently your future mate," he commented slyly, quickly dragging the girl into a nearby broom cupboard. After fumbling for a moment in the dark, he trapped her tight against his chest and cooed, "Lucky witch."

She wrinkled her nose at him, struggling to step back in the tight space. "Padfoot," she complained, "I've told you before, not in front of the mops!"

He really didn't understand her weird hang-up about cleaning supplies.

"C'mon," he murmured, pushing his bandages out of the way and sucking at her slender throat, "They don't mind. And you've been driving me wild for days."

Mina sighed with pleasure as her resistance began to crumble, breathily challenging, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he agreed, letting his fingers play deftly just under the back of her shirt, "You're sexy when you're evil."

She burst out laughing, and the distraction was enough to allow Sirius to enjoy more of her lovely neck, mapping out the spots that made her shudder and pant until the girl was just about putty in his arms.

Mina hadn't let him get much past a bit of kissing. Which was fine. Sirius was more than willing to go slow with her, especially since they were just "practicing." Still, it was difficult to keep himself from getting carried away. The smell and taste of her skin were ridiculously addictive; Sirius often found himself completely unable to concentrate because he wanted to have her right at any given moment.

"Sirius," she whimpered, hands fisting in his hair as she dragged his lips to hers.

Their teeth clacked and tongues wetly explored each other's mouths. Sirius hauled her up by the arse and pressed her back against a shelf, wrapping her long legs around his waist. Once again, he lamented the girl's recent affinity for unflattering trousers.

Sirius's brain nearly exploded when she bit down hard on his bottom lip.

Giving the lad's skull a rather vicious shake, Mina snarled, "Shut up about the fucking trousers, or I'll put you back in a skirt!"

xxXxx

Sirius was a fantastic kisser. And that was a very odd tidbit to know firsthand about one's best friend, but Mina wasn't about to complain.

Well, ok, Mina _was_ about to complain because, after mere minutes of very enjoyable snogging, something—probably a blasted broom handle—was digging into her spine.

She tried to squirm into a more comfortable position but had no success; Sirius seemed rather determined and wasn't letting her move too much unless it was against him. When all her efforts earned were a squeeze to the bum and another admittedly pleasant swipe of tongue, the girl fought her mouth free enough to declare, "Something's poking me."

Even in the moist, smothering darkness, she could sense Sirius's smug grin as he grinded against her and seductively answered, "We'll get to that in the more advanced lessons."

She smacked him hard and countered, "_That_ is not what I meant, you idiot! Now let me down!"

The teen pouted but obeyed, gently settling Mina back on her feet. He moved in for another kiss, but Mina pushed him away.

"Class starts soon," she insisted, "We can't ditch just because Moony isn't around."

"I don't see why not," murmured Sirius, swooping in through the darkness to press his well-muscled body flush against hers and attack her neck in an incredibly distracting manner, "Promise to make it worth your while."

Mina felt her eyes fluttering closed, her conviction waning as her friend created quite a few new and wonderful sensations with the skillful lips she'd so recently stolen. "Mmm," she hummed, tilting her head back for more of the wet, shivery heat.

Sirius chuckled gruffly, almost to the rhythm of her pounding heart. Not bothering to remove his mouth, he mumbled, "Knew I'd turn you into the loveliest little hedonist."

Suddenly finding enough will power to finally shove the lad off for good, Mina quipped, "You wish." After only a brief moment to straighten her hair and uniform, the girl exited the cupboard.

Sirius wasn't very far behind, casually crowding her and being generally annoying with his lingering touches, his broad shoulders and long, sleek hair. That wicked grin that had a way of making a person's insides feel like trembling jelly.

Damn flirt just didn't know when to turn it off.

There was very little time to think on the subject of Sirius's overpowering charm; the two teens turned the next corner and immediately encountered Lily Evans. Normally, Mina would've considered any such meeting with the uptight prefect a great inconvenience. However, on that particular day, Evans's presence only registered a small blip of instinctual annoyance when compared to the crash of jaw-dropping lust elicited by the chiseled specimen of masculine perfection that walked beside her.

The man was tall and quite fit, lean but deliberately muscular, like a statue of a Greek god. His golden hair hung in gentle waves past his sculpted shoulders and appeared to be lit from within with by concentrated, almost blinding sunlight. Talking and smiling as Lily drooled in mesmerized delight, he gestured animatedly with his absolutely elegant hands and laughed as if he'd never know a moment without pure joy. His expressive face somehow managed to be both rugged and cherubic, jaw sharp and lips bowed and cheeks plump. Kind eyes dark, glimmering like oil slicks.

He was obviously older but not by much, just dipping a toe into his twenties, if Mina had to guess. Though, honestly, she was far more interested in guessing other things about him, such as whether or not he was single and what he looked like out of his smartly tailored burgundy robes.

(When she later reflected back on the whole incident, Mina would also have to wonder where those vastly uncharacteristic thoughts had even come from.)

"Guh," Mina gaped as her mouth fell open of its own accord. She sensed Sirius bristling at her side but couldn't summon the brain cells necessary to care.

The mystery Adonis abruptly halted his journey and conversation, not seeming at all bothered when Evans continued her dumb, dreamy staring. His grin widened impossibly, and Mina actually felt her knees wobble.

"Good morning," said the mystery man, sweeping forward with the otherworldly grace of a unicorn to close Mina's hand in his own. He bowed deeply and placed a lingering kiss on the flushed flesh before grinning up at the girl, voice enchanting as he inquired, "Romina Lupin, I presume?"

Sirius tugged her away by the elbow, hard. It was almost enough to break Mina's eerie fascination, but not entirely. She couldn't really focus on her friend's words or the anger behind them.

"Who wants to know?" Sirius demanded, trying to situate himself between Mina and the mystery man.

Mina was not inclined to allow this to happen, especially with that slut Evans closing in; the horrid little ginger was going to get her arse handed to her yet again if she even thought about putting her greasy paws on the gorgeous new fellow.

(Seriously, Mina would later wonder what the bloody hell had come over her; pummeling Evans was a quite frequent fantasy, but it had never before come about in connection to a guy other than James (and the feeling's Mina had for James were _vastly_ different than those she was having at that moment).)

Mystery Adonis didn't seem bothered by Sirius's rudeness. His smile never wavered, nor did his entrapping gaze leave Mina's. "Lord Timaeus Emmanuel Calloway the Third," he stated smoothly, "Eight Duke of Aurelia. Pleased to make you acquaintance, my lady."

Mina took a moment to remember the name. The letter. The engagement. And that was all it took for the mystery man's spell to break.

She wasn't quite as good with her left as her right, but the force of the young woman's lesser used fist was still enough to knock the devastatingly handsome Lord Timaeus straight out of his expensive dragon-hide boots and unconscious onto the floor.

Standing over him, so furious she could barely see straight (only half listening as Evans shrieked and Sirius cackled gleefully), Mina spat right in her suitor's gorgeous face. "I'm no one's fucking lady, you twat!" she roared with pride.

xxxxxxxxxx

was recently food poisoned by a salad. wtf?

reviews, as always, are greatly appreciated :)


	14. The Leap

Part 14 – The Leap

"Lord Timaeus has graciously agreed not to press charges."

Slumped in her usual seat in the headmaster's office, Mina glared at the most recent victim of her notorious temper and snapped, "Forgive me if I don't squeal with glee."

Lord Timaeus frowned, adjusted the ice pack on his perfectly sculpted jaw. Even pain, puzzlement, and displeasure didn't make him any less devastatingly attractive. Bastard. "I couldn't bring myself to ruin such a promising young life over such an unfortunate misunderstanding," he claimed, seeming quite genuine, "Especially a misunderstanding I feel responsible for creating."

"Lick my nuts," Mina instructed flatly.

"Miss _Lupin_!" Dumbledore shouted, far past his typical tolerance for the girl's misbehavior, "You will remain _silent_ until I directly request your input. Are we clear?"

Proving her late grandmother right yet again, Mina couldn't manage to stop herself from mouthing off despite the warning: "Sure, take his side."

The headmaster's glare reminded the girl as to why the supposed "dark lord" was afraid of such a ridiculous old man.

"Romina."

She bristled at the use of her proper name, turning her wrathful stare onto the moron who'd dare utter it in her presence.

Lord Timaeus smiled sheepishly, and, despite wanting to disembowel him with her bare hands, Mina found herself also wanting to cuddle him like a teddy bear. Then jump his bones most definitely _not_ like a teddy bear.

"It wasn't my intention to upset you by coming here," said the handsome blonde, black eyes soulful and sincere, "I was going to apologize. I wasn't aware that your father's legal rights had been severed, and I truly thought he was acting in your interests when he agreed to the betrothal."

Mina rolled her eyes and theatrically declared, "Yeah, it's in every girl's interest to have a responsible male relative sell her off before she can get in too much trouble making decisions on her own. Oh, whoa is me that I've been allowed to think for myself all these lonesome years. Save me, Timmy! Save me from a life outside some stranger's bedroom! I was born to be your sex puppet!"

Finally intervening before the dumbfounded look on Lord Timaeus's flawless face could grow any dumber, Dumbledore sharply declared, "Mina! Enough!"

"Like hell!" the girl snarled in reply, jumping to her feet and pounding a fist on the old man's cluttered desk, "I don't have to marry this arsehole, but what about the next girl he tries to buy like property? It's not right!" She whirled on the startled suitor, shouting, "You don't get to decide my worth or anyone else's! You don't get to have power over another human being just because you were born with money and a cock!"

That was when the headmaster actually silenced Mina and sent her slamming back into her chair with a wordless spell. She was too preoccupied being angry to be impressed.

"Now then," spoke the headmaster, sighing wearily and probably growing more gray hairs by the second, "As I was saying, Lord Timaeus has agreed not to press charges. He would, however, like to apologize to you over dinner tonight, and I believe that to be a very generous offer."

Any other night, Mina might've gone for the sheer carnage she could inflict once alone with the man. But that night was the full moon, and there was no way in hell that she was going to abandon her brother for some snooty pretty-boy.

She said as much once the spell was released. Well, she obviously didn't relate anything about the full moon, announcing simply, "I have plans."

Lord Timaeus smiled, and Mina either wanted to snog him senseless or kick in his perfect teeth. It was becoming increasingly difficult to decide.

"My schedule is flexible," he claimed coolly, voice deep and shiver-inducing, "Would tomorrow be more convenient?"

She felt a strange warmth come over her body, something in her heart (and other unmentionable places of her anatomy) somehow touched by the handsome man's undeniable charm. And that of course meant that something had to be wrong; Mina wasn't one to fall for pretty, polite men. She fought to concentrate on all the clues.

"Fucker," Mina growled as a sudden theory arose, "You're a veela, aren't you? Well you can stop with the bloody mind games! A magical roofie is just as sleazy as a normal one!"

The warmth dropped in an instant, as did Timaeus's insufferable smirk. "I'm sorry," he murmured, blushing pink and running a beautiful hand through his glimmering cascade of golden waves, "I try not to... I can't always control my powers in the presence of such a... I'll do my best not to use them on you."

He was so damn _nice_. She _hated_ nice. And now that he was actually trying to stifle his absurd super power, remembering that she hated the man was getting easier by the second.

"Miss Lupin," the headmaster finally interrupted, "We are in agreement then? You will have dinner with Lord Timaeus tomorrow evening?"

That would be plenty of time to enlist the other Marauders to give the slimy jerk a proper sendoff. With a wicked grin, the girl agreed, "I'm looking forward to it."

xxXxx

"Twits," Mina grumbled as she surveyed the shameless flock of females fluttering around Lord Timaeus at the staff table. It seemed as though his powers were never fully off, and half of Hogwarts was proving susceptible.

Watching Evans practically molest the bemused veela, James looked like he might cry. "It's not fair," he whined, "Those should be my pecs she's groping! My pecs are way better than his! See!" He began to unbutton his shirt and only stopped when his friends protested with a barrage of half-eaten dinner rolls.

Mina couldn't even allow herself to be amused by James's fake cries of agony. She slammed her head down on the table and muttered, "Why is my life such crap?"

"Because the most beautiful roses need top-notch fertilizer."

She felt a solid hand on the back of her neck, and it very shortly began kneading at the knots in her tense muscles. "Mmm," she moaned, eyelids floating shut, "Padfoot, you're a corny git, but that feels amazing. Don't stop."

James and Peter both coughed awkwardly, but fortunately that didn't distract Sirius from his task. Mina managed to zone out for a solid fifteen minutes, listening halfheartedly to the low hum of the boys' conversation but none of the words.

Unfortunately, the unusual period of Zen-like relaxation was not destined to last. Mina didn't notice all at once but gradually became aware of a change in the room's atmosphere: a new frantic note in the increased chatter, more movement than was strictly necessary for eating. Oddly even a slight drop in temperature.

Mina picked her head up. At first, she was pleased to see that people no longer seemed to be focused on Lord Timaeus, the majority gaping blankly at the entrance doors. She turned to see what all the fuss was about but spotted Mary first, the poor girl wide-eyed and shaking and completely white.

Now, Mary was quite the wimp, but Mina had never before seen her look so absolutely terrified, like she was facing down death itself. The tall brunette was also staring in the direction of the entrance doors.

Mina's gaze finally made it there as well, and the girl immediately began swearing under her breath.

Ari Mulciber was back.

xxXxx

"C'mon, Mac," Mina sighed as she pounded on the bathroom door, "I thought we were past these useless dramatics."

Being comforting really wasn't the teen's strong suit, but none of the girls who were supposedly caring and compassionate even blinked when Mary began hyperventilating and then raced out of the Great Hall in hysterics. That stupid bloody veela was turning into an even greater inconvenience than originally estimated.

"Open up already!" Mina ordered, checking the time on Dorcas Meadowes's small bedside clock and discovering that there was only an hour before moonrise. She growled in frustration and took out her wand, hollering, "Fine! Then I'm coming in!"

Since no Marauder had yet met a lock that he or she could not bypass with ease, Mina was inside the room in just a few moments. She scanned the array of gold sinks and huge mirrors immediately opposite the door, seeing no sign of her quarry. She walked right across the checkerboard of red and black tiles to search the dim hallway full of mahogany toilet cubicles; they were all empty. Mina doubled back across the mirror room and through another hallway to the left of the door. She poked her head into each of the spacious shower stalls until finally locating Mary in the very last one.

Mary had obviously been bawling her eyes out but wasn't anymore, back wedged into a corner and knees crushed against her chest. At the sight of Mina, she hugged her gargantuan legs tighter, seeming to be trying to collapse in on herself like a black hole. She hid her round, puffy face and shuddered violently.

Sighing, Mina came to sit beside the girl, slid down the wall and let their feet touch. Mina tried to think of something helpful to say but couldn't quite manage it. In an effort to fill the uncomfortable silence, she finally asked, "Why'd you lie? About what Mulciber did to you?"

With yet another full-body shudder, Mary very unconvincingly croaked, "Who says I lied?"

"Mac," Mina snapped, "I've got places to be tonight."

Without picking her head up, the taller girl muttered, "Don't do me any favors."

Mina regarded her carefully for a few moments before proudly observing, "You seem well on your way to growing an actual spine." With a smug grin, she added, "I am a bloody spectacular mentor."

Mary finally did look up, her expression tearful yet bewildered.

"Evans should be back to normal after tomorrow night," Mina continued brightly, "You can weep on her then. James is doubling your bodyguards until we think of a fittingly atrocious way to dispose of Mulciber for good."

Swiping at her plump cheeks, Mary whispered, "Really?"

"Of course," said Mina, "We need him out of here. I expected the bastard to be too physically and emotionally traumatized to come back or else I never would've given up his head."

"It _was_ you," Mary gaped, looking far more frightened and less appreciative than Mina thought was warranted.

"No, but it was done at my behest," Mina corrected. At her companion's continued horrified stare, Mina explained, "I said I wanted his head on a pike, so the boys grafted his head onto a fish and put him in the lake. They are so creative."

Mary lasted another few seconds before suddenly bursting into laughter, trying to smother the startled giggles with a hand over her mouth.

The sound was an immense relief to Mina, who also managed a chuckle. She punched Mary lightly on the shoulder and then climbed to her feet, announcing, "You'll be fine, Mac. Just don't do anything stupid without my approval."

Before Mina could leave, Mary timidly inquired, "You're sneaking out to be with Remus, aren't you?"

Tentative camaraderie forgotten, Mina narrowed her gaze and snarled, "None of your damn business."

Mary looked hurt by the answer but nonetheless replied, "I just... I'm glad he has someone there with him. Hospitals can be so lonely... Tell him I hope he feels better."

Mina didn't know quite what to make of her absurdly tall, absurdly neurotic, absurdly _sweet_ roommate. But she lacked the time to come to any proper conclusion, stating simply, "I'll think about it. Get some sleep, Mac."

xxXxx

That night, Moony broke his sister's arm for the first time. It was an accident, of course, and also mostly Prongs's fault.

For the first few hours, Moony had been relatively calm. He'd obviously smelled the sour waves of anger pouring off Sunny and did his best to cheer her up, wrestling with the much smaller wolf, whining and nuzzling her face. She'd been going along with it, too, her foul mood lightening more and more with every passing minute.

But then Prongs smashed a careless hoof down on Moony's tail, and Moony howled in pain and lunged at the stag, intent on hastily disemboweling him.

Sunny jumped between the two and was hurled into a wall, hitting the crumbly plaster with a sickening crunch and agonized squeal. She didn't stay down long before hobbling up onto three legs, seemingly alert and active despite her discomfort. No one really suspected that both bones in her delicate forearm had been snapped in half. Sometimes the girl's unnatural toughness could be a real problem.

Seeing his sister hurt immediately calmed the werewolf. Calmed him for the rest of the evening, actually; he was far too concerned with doling out apologetic licks and whimpers, curling his massive body around her smaller one to even be bothered with the rest of the pack.

The moon set hours later, and Moony was Remus again, a scarred, scratched, naked teenage boy unconscious on the floor. As usual, he would have no memory of what had happened, of the injuries he'd inflicted on those he loved most.

"No one fucking tells him," Mina snarled, hunched over and swaying and cradling her right wrist. She'd had trouble transforming back, looked shaky and sweaty and pale. And her murky blue eyes seemed glassy, not like she was about to cry but rather like she was slightly drunk on pain. She swallowed heavily and then stumbled outside to puke into the snow.

Sirius went after her without a thought, fell to his knees beside her and gathered the girl's sandy hair away from the thin dribbles of bile heaving out with every tortured gasp. Even though he knew it was probably gross and weird to do so at such a time, he couldn't help admiring the silky soft feel of her unruly tresses gliding between his fingers.

After an uncomfortable stretch of minutes, she wiped her mouth on her sleeve and then slumped into Sirius's lap, panting, "Fucking arm is on fire."

"I figured," he replied, negotiating her into a more manageable position, "Let me see."

She did. The limb was twice its normal size, purple and black from wrist to elbow.

Sirius winced aloud and fumbled for his wand. "Merlin's sac, Sunshine!" he scolded frantically, "You should've told me sooner!"

Trembling as she fought nausea and impending unconsciousness, Mina chuckled, "Moony wasn't going to let me leave, and it's not like either of us could've transformed in the room with him."

Sirius scowled. "We would've figured something out," he insisted, concentrating hard on executing a proper bone mend. He'd done one on his own ribs a month previous, but the results had been less than adequate. And he wasn't letting Mina go days feeling that kind of deep, lancing ache.

She tensed as the magic began to take effect, hiding her face in his jumper. Biting down on the thick fabric and moaning softly.

Unfortunately, moaning directly into Sirius's nipple. The pleasurable sensation was severely distracting.

But the spell did seem to work rather well. Mina's slim body went slack with relief. After some minimal prompting, she was able to almost make a fist and to move her wrist back and forth a bit. She swallowed hard again, inquiring, "If I pass out, does that count as sleep?"

Knowing that the twins had had that exact argument several times already, Sirius reminded, "Remus doesn't seem to think so."

Mina actually pouted. "Damn waste," the girl mumbled, promptly succumbing to exhaustion.

They sorted Remus quickly and then vacated the Shack before Madame Mary could arrive. Sirius wrapped Mina in his robes and carried her all the way back to the dorm, carefully tucking the weary girl into her brother's bed. He stayed with her while James and Peter went on a breakfast mission.

Mina woke shortly after they'd left. "_Fuck_," she groaned, blinking hazily around the room, "How long was I out?"

"Not long," replied Sirius. He'd lit a joint to calm his nerves and promptly held the roll of smoldering herb to the girl's perfect lips.

She suckled greedily, moaning again. She really needed to stop moaning in Sirius's presence. Or else never stop.

"Feeling alright?" he questioned, pleased to already see a huge decrease in swelling and bruising along her arm.

"I'll live." She pushed herself up, swung her legs off the edge of the mattress. She swatted Sirius away when he tried to help her stand. "So," Mina declared, wobbly but stubborn as she began to pace, "We need to plan. Timaeus and Mulciber. I'd like both solved by tomorrow."

"That's a bit ambitious," Sirius pointed out, watching the girl carefully for signs of distress.

She shrugged, agreeing, "Ya, but the Timaeus thing has to be done at the dinner. And if we don't get to Mulciber soon enough, then Moony might call us off him. I promised Mac that he'd be dealt with."

Sirius smirked, teasing, "Sunny, did you actually make a friend?"

With a heated scowl, Mina snapped, "No. In fact, I'm liking her less every day. She's got a thing for Moony. Can you believe that?"

"What's wrong with a girl having a crush on Moony?"

The look she gave him was positively murderous. "Nothing!" Mina shouted, "Moony's awesome! It's Mac that's the problem!" Having overexerted herself with the burst of anger, the sandy-haired she-wolf swayed dizzily and then toppled right into Sirius's waiting embrace.

"Easy, love," he soothed. Despite some weak struggles, he got the girl back into bed. "You need to rest a few hours," he instructed sternly, "That break was pretty nasty, and leaving it for so long certainly didn't help."

Mina pouted again but didn't argue and allowed Sirius to fluff her pillows, to sit down next to her and fling his arm around her shoulders. She huffed, laid her head against his chest and declared, "Nobody can tell Moony about this. It wasn't his fault, but he'll feel terrible. And he might try to make us stop coming with him."

Though they were legitimate points, Sirius couldn't help arguing, "He'll figure it out eventually."

Smirking sadly, Mina declared, "I am remarkably effective at sheltering my brother."

For awhile, no one said anything. Sirius heard his stomach rumble and wondered when James and Peter would be back with his pancakes. However, shortly before they appeared, he realized that Mina had fallen asleep draped across his torso. It had happened before but usually not without a _lot_ more weed involved.

Mostly lucid, Sirius could take his time admiring the deceiving fragility of the girl's rounded jaw and thick lashes, her delicious lips and the sweet freckles splattered across the bridge of her tiny nose.

And in the course of just two days, he'd nearly lost her to a veela and to a werewolf. He absolutely couldn't go one more without letting Mina know what she meant to him.

Almost before the thought had solidified in his hazy brain, Sirius was shaking her awake. It was a massive violation of the Marauders' First Commandment (_Thou shall not wake Sunny_), but he nevertheless braved the might of her heated scowl and babbled, "Did you know that you're beautiful?"

"You only tell me three times a day," she grumbled, doing her best to push him off.

But Sirius would not be deterred, continuing, "Well, you are. And funny and smart, too. And the absolute coolest girl I know."

"'preciate it," Mina yawned, "You aren't half bad yourself."

He thought for another moment and then began shaking Mina before she could drift off again, stating, "Let's say, hypothetically, that I asked you out on a date. Would you say yes?"

She peered out through one cracked eyelid, her frown skeptical and vaguely confused. "I dunno," the girl muttered, clueless yet annoyed, "Why would you be asking me out on a date?"

Sirius grinned courageously, explaining, "In this particular scenario, because I love you and because it's generally the first step toward making someone my girlfriend. Not that I've ever had a real one before, but I've heard. And I'd want to do everything right so that we could live happily ever after."

Mina's eyes seemed unusually huge as the girl stared up at him like he'd sprouted horns.

"Hey there, Sleeping Beauty," James greeted when he arrived to ruin the moment, bouncing into bed beside Mina, "Budge over! I brought you some of that gross oatmeal you like. Pete's going to class to take notes for us, so we all have the morning off. How's the arm?"

Shaking herself sharply, Mina pulled away from Sirius's embrace. "Fine," the girl muttered, pointedly not making eye contact as she grabbed her bowl, "It wasn't that bad."

"Oh, I see," said James. He flashed one of those quirky, mischievous grins of his and pecked Mina on the cheek, observing, "It only _looked_ excruciating and grotesque."

She smacked him hard but smiled, laughed, "Stow the sweet talk, powder puff. We have work to do."

xxXxx

Having one's head and one's body separated for a prolonged period of time seemed to interfere with the way the two communicated. While Ari Mulciber was able to walk, he could only do so with jerky, stilted movements and quite a lot of concentration. The whole effect was somewhere between a particularly uncoordinated toddler taking his first steps and a pathetically untalented mime trying to avoid invisible puddles.

It was quite the sight to behold, and Mina wished that she could've enjoyed it more thoroughly. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop thinking about the annoying jerk crouched down behind her beneath the invisibility cloak. Though she'd been preoccupied by the incident all day, Mina couldn't figure out what the hell Sirius's angle was in hypothetically asking her out. It wasn't funny and made no sense. She didn't like things that made no sense.

"Quit breathing so loud," the girl hissed, throwing back an elbow for good measure.

All she got for her trouble was a warm chuckle, another rush of hot, wet, distracting air blown across the back of her neck. She felt Sirius's hands close around her waist, his deep voice rumbling, "Terribly sorry, love. I'll try not to breathe at all."

Mina rolled her eyes at his stupidity. But then only moments later found herself glancing over her shoulder to make sure that the idiot hadn't really stopped breathing. It would be just like him to do something so moronic.

The kiss was a complete surprise, Sirius's lips sneaking into place as she turned her head. It was soft and tender and tasted like maple syrup from the pancakes he ate just a few hours earlier while lounging about the dorm and trying to convince Mina to stay in bed rather than stalk Mulciber.

"Mulciber," Mina mumbled.

Sirius pulled back and pouted

While his sad-puppy expression usually had no effect on Mina, that time it was just so... mesmerizing. "He's getting away," the girl reluctantly whispered, "We have to-"

"Go to dinner with me?" the young man interrupted, his soulful gray eyes pleading, his inky, almost liquid black hair a tumble of enticing chaos across his haughty face and muscular shoulders.

Mina had yet to figure out what the hell was going on and really didn't like not knowing. "I go to dinner with you nearly every night," she replied, suddenly feeling stupid for not being able to grasp what was happening. It was right there, right in front of her, but she couldn't force her brain to make the leap.

Hiding his face against the girl's neck, Sirius groaned, "You are making this _so_ difficult."

"Making what-" but again, Mina didn't get to finish her thought because Sirius began sucking on the side of her throat, and thinking became a real struggle. Her whole body shivered with pleasure, melting into his strong embrace, those toned arms and that tanned chest.

"More where that came from," he muttered.

Dazed, Mina replied, "Sign me up."

Sirius grinned, announcing, "Dinner first."

"Fine, whatever," the girl agreed. She was still rather confused but managed to regain some senses and remember their mission, glancing around for the prey. "Damnit," Mina swore, shoving Sirius off before he could cause more distraction, "We lost him!"

"That's the beauty of the Marauders' Map," he said, unfurling the enchanted parchment with a smug flourish. He glanced down at the paper and declared, "He's headed toward..." Sirius trailed off, frowning worriedly.

Mina glanced back at him and demanded, "What? What is it?"

Clearly hesitant, Sirius responded, "It looks like he's headed toward the Tower."

xxXxx

The Marauders practically owned Hogwarts, so getting ahead of Mulciber and cutting him off before he could reach the portrait wasn't particularly difficult.

"Are you lost, Ari?" Mina demanded. She seemed calm, but Sirius knew her far too well to be fooled: the girl was nearly blind with wrath and probably a danger to every living thing in the hallway. Luckily or unluckily (depending on your location) the hallway was inhabited by only the three young teens.

Mulciber stopped short and glared. He also seemed to be attempting to hide his true feelings, but he was doing an even worse job than Mina. The tall Slytherin couldn't keep the tremors out of his body. The rage and humiliation out of his sunken, manic eyes. "Get out of my way," he snarled, wand suddenly in hand.

Sirius suddenly found the time to remember that most Slytherins were phenomenal duelers. He decided that he should've put up more of a fight when Mina tore off to intercept the recently reassembled man-fish. She was bloody fast when she was pissed.

"Fuck off and die," Mina suggested with her usual vulgar eloquence.

The air actually began to crackle with the buildup of wild magical fury. Sirius couldn't tell if it was coming from one or both contenders, but either way, it was not a positive sign. Nor was the fact that they had ceased even trading jibes.

Violence was imminent.

Sirius sent an urgent Patronus to James and then lunged forward just in time to shove Mina out of the way of a vicious red curse.

Sirius couldn't remember much after that except the sound of far off screams he futilely hoped were not his own.

xxXxx

Lord Timaeus had flowers sent to Sirius's hospital bed, which only served to earn the deranged veela even more of Mina's limitless ire.

She expressed as much by hurling the tasteful arrangement of roses at his head when he turned up that night.

He retreated with an unbearably polite promise to reschedule their nonconsensual dinner date.

Once he was gone and Madame Mary was through shrieking about proper Hospital Wing behavior, Mina let herself once again slump into the rickety chair between Remus's and Sirius's unconscious bodies. She let herself be momentarily comforted by James's weak but fond smirk of amusement.

"He's going to be alright," the bespectacled lad murmured, facing her in yet another wobbly chair as he placed a gentle hand on her knee, "They would've had him to Mungo's if it were at all serious. Besides, you survived much worse, and Padfoot would never let himself be outdone like that."

Despite her gnawing fear and worry and anger, Mina let loose a feeble chuckle. Then she went back to sullen fretting. "He shouldn't have pushed me out of the way," she complained, feeling her throat grow tight as she thought back on the panic and horror of seeing the red blast of _crucio _hit her friend, seeing his body convulse with unimaginable pain and then slump to the floor like life had already fled. "I'm not a weakling," Mina insisted, beginning the tirade mainly so that she wouldn't cry, "I can take care of myself. All of you need to stop treating me like some helpless maiden in need of rescuing-"

"You know it's not like that at all," James hastily defended. He seemed quite annoyed on Sirius's behalf. But also mindful of Mina's distress, her lifelong tendency to turn to anger in times of fear. And he was patient with her. "Any one of us would've done it for you or for each other," James continued, "And you can't tell me that you wouldn't do the same."

Mina sagged again. Bastard was right. "I hate this," she murmured, digging the heels of her palms into her closed eyes to watch the stars explode behind the lids. She was so tired, drained on so many levels that it felt like there was nothing left. She tried to count back and couldn't focus long enough to figure out when she'd last gotten any real sleep. It had to be more than three days by then. The emotional stress and physical exertion in those days probably made them count for double anyways.

Sighing, James soothed, "You'll feel better once they're both awake."

"No shit," the girl growled.

For a few long minutes, they simply listened to the soft rhythm of Peter's snores, watched through a nearby window as the last of the feeble sunlight faded out of the cloudy sky. Mina thought it might snow soon. But she'd been thinking that for most of the day and hadn't yet been proved right.

Sirius needed to open his damn eyes and prove himself none the worse for wear. Only then would Mina be able to properly celebrate the fact that Mulciber had not only been expelled, but that he was also in Ministry custody and facing at least five years in Azkaban. The Unforgiveable Curses were called such for a reason, and Professors McGonogall and Binns had rounded the corner just in time to see the atrocious coward fire one off.

Let's see his rich daddy get him out of trouble this time.

Mina's mind continued to churn restlessly, her thoughts shooting off in erratic tangents that eventually led back over the course of the day. To the parts between the broken arm and the Mulciber incident. Specifically back to Sirius's odd behavior, his hypothetically asking her out. And then his later insistence on their going to dinner... It was almost like...

No. That was silly. They were friends. Granted, friends who sometimes snogged, but it didn't mean anything. Not really. Sirius was a notorious flirt and a self-proclaimed hedonist; Mina had seen him heap compliments on every girl he'd test driven, and he certainly wasn't picky. So what if she wasn't immune to his attentions? So what if he could make her blush like no one else could, tie her stomach up in not entirely uncomfortable knots? So what if she occasionally caught herself daydreaming about his wicked grin and smoky eyes and flowing hair and taut stomach and trim hips and rippling back and...

Ok. So she apparently had a bit of a thing for him. It was purely esthetic. Sirius was her best friend first and a hot piece of arse second. Just like she was to him.

But he'd asked her out to dinner. Mentally cataloguing the disgustingly long list of girls Sirius had bedded, Mina couldn't manage to think of even one who had warranted such special treatment...

"Padfoot asked me out to dinner."

She heard herself say it but was still surprised moments later when James tore his gaze away from the window to acknowledge that the comment had actually been voiced.

"Did he?" the lanky teen inquired, smirking brightly, "About damn time. I don't know where he found the strength to restrain himself for so long. I've certainly never been capable of keeping my romantic intentions a secret."

Frowning, Mina mused, "So he's really... I mean, ya? Me? Why?" Then she blinked and, before James could answer, demanded, "Wait, how long?"

James laughed and declared, "I'll leave those questions up to dear Master Padfoot. He'll be quite upset if I spill, and you two are going to need something to talk about on your date."

"He didn't say _date_," murmured Mina, furious to find her cheeks suddenly glowing hot at the very prospect.

"Meant date."

The raspy croak was barely audible but filled with conviction. Sirius gingerly cracked one eyelid and offered a brave but weary smile. He squeezed Mina's hand (which had somehow found its way into his) and slurred, "Nobody's allowed to marry you 'cept me, K?"

He had slipped back to sleep again before Mina had a chance to reply... not that she could think of one anyways...

xxxxxxxxxx

Like butter and jelly, I am on a roll. Review to encourage my newfound work ethic.


	15. Tolerance

Part 15 – Tolerance

It would of course figure that the first time in nearly five days that Mina finally managed to slip off to sleep, the first time in months that she'd managed to do so with no chemical intervention or grievous bodily harm, was ten minutes before Evans chose to begin her own Friday morning with an ear-bloodying screech.

"GET IT OFF ME!" the redhead bellowed, kicking and flailing frantically beneath her covers, "HELP! GET IT OFF!" There was a thud and then yet more screaming and struggling.

As the other girls rushed to Evans's aid, Mina blinked up at her canopy, lost in a wave of sudden despair. Only when more voices descended into panicked shrieks did Mina actually roll over to see what the hell was going on.

She was up in an instant, nearly faceplanting in her haste to snatch Monty away from Ugly's determined attempt to smack him over the head with the heel of a gargantuan trainer.

"Stop!" Mina croaked, shielding the frightened skunk in her arms, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you morons? Leave him alone!" She belatedly realized that the rug had taken the skin off both her knees, the pain bright and centering.

"That vermin was in my _bed_!" Evans sobbed. Her panic and disarray were amusing but nowhere near enough to mask the hate in her voice.

Groggy and clumsy, wincing at her raw joints, Mina spat, "He wasn't trying to hurt you. He's friendly, and he doesn't even spray. Jeez, Evans. Grow a pair already!"

Evans gaped, fire and water spitting out of her eyes in equal measures. She seemed to be too angry to speak, so Ugly took up the mantle for her.

"What is your _problem_?" the sallow, shovel-faced girl mooed, "Get that thing out of here! You can't have a skunk in the dorms! They are dangerous, _offensive_ vermin!"

"Zip it, Ugly," Mina snapped back, "He's no more dangerous or offensive than that flea-bitten monstrosity you call a cat. And at least Monty is housetrained. At least he isn't so damn inbred that he walks into walls and tries to eat other people's knickers."

Ugly turned a deep shade of puce, her fists shaking at her sides. "What," she hissed, "Did you just call me?"

For the life of her, Mina couldn't remember the girl's real name. She said as much and then exited, stumbling back toward the Hospital Wing even though it was 4 AM and she was still wearing pajamas and her knees were bleeding and the boys were going to scold. They'd just sent her to bed around midnight, after all, and they never accepted the "idiot roommate" excuse when Mina tried to explain why sleep had proven elusive.

She rounded a corner and nearly trampled Lord Timaeus, the annoying veela appeared perfect as always, despite the early hour. In fact, the handsome young man had actual vastly improved his presence by removing his shirt. He looked even more like a flawless piece of classical marble statuary.

"Oh," he said, with a warm, dashing smile, "Lovely to see you again, Mina. I was so glad to hear that your friend is recovering."

Mina glared and sidestepped the blonde without comment, continuing on her way lest she get caught in a shouting match and further frighten poor Monty, who had yet to stop trembling.

Unfortunately, the idiot veela chose to follow, mopping his glistening forehead as he fell into step. "I just got back from a splendid run," he declared, "It was a bit difficult with the snow, but a few spells cleared the way. Perhaps you'd like to join me some morning."

"Exercise is for fatties," Mina spat.

More puzzled than offended, Timaeus stared at her for a few moments and then replied, "I was told that you're an athlete. You're on the quidditch team, correct?"

With a sneer, Mina answered, "Merlin, you're a complete dullard. I think I'd kill myself if I were stuck marrying you."

Finally showing a little backbone, a little human emotion, the veela frowned and icily observed, "You are very much like your father. He, too, feels the need to voice every shocking, hurtful thought to cross his mind."

"My _father_," the girl snarled, only barely resisting strangling the pest beside her, "Is a pathetic excuse for a human being. If you ever see him again, I want you to tell him to run. Run and hide far, far away in the deepest, darkest hole he can find. Because if _I_ ever see him again..." She trailed off with a shiver, whispering, "It scares me. The terrible things I want to do to that man."

Perhaps appreciating for the first time just how dangerous and deranged Mina could be, Timaeus put a bit more distance between them. But he still trailed beside her, murmuring, "Have you always been so angry, or did something awful happen to make you so?"

Mina snorted. It was just such a ridiculous question. "A little of both, actually," she answered truthfully. Without warning, she kicked Timaeus's ankles into one another and watched him slam against the floor.

xxXxx

"Charity," Mary murmured.

Mina could barely hear over the rush of the shower. "What?" she demanded, fists pushing and pulling viciously at the lather in her hair.

In the next stall over, Mary gave an echoing sigh, clarifying, "The girl whose name you couldn't remember earlier. It's Charity. Charity Burbage."

"Huh," Mina replied, "I was closer than I thought." She swayed under the scalding spray, hurrying through her post-practice shower so that she had time to visit Remus and Sirius again before classes. While Remus was used to amusing himself during extended stays in the Hospital Wing, Sirius was bored out of his skull and close to insanity.

He'd said as much when she dropped Monty off earlier. The young man had also flashed a wicked smile that made Mina's stomach twist into knots.

It really wasn't fair that he could make her feel so... giddy. So bloody girly. And Mina was _not _enjoying the sensation. For Merlin's sake, she was even considering asking Mary's opinion on the matter...

"So," Mary went on, "What's with the skunk?"

Mina grumbled, "He's Sirius's. Pete fed him after he walked me back from the Hospital Wing, but then he _accidentally_ left the dorm room open."

After a loud pause, Mary inquired, "You don't believe it was an accident?"

"It could be," Mina said with a shrug, "But we've also got a bet going about Sirius's ability to take care of a pet, so it could just as easily be sabotage. Pete's always complaining that he never wins anything." She shut off the shower and buried herself in a huge fluffy towel, dreading the full day of classes to come. It all would've been so much more bearable with just an hour of sleep...

Damn Evans.

Soon, Mina and Mary were dressed and stomping back to the castle, battling the waist-high snow and cursing softly as yet more began to fall. Well, Mina did most of the cursing. All of it. And the snow only went up to Mary's thighs. Bloody giant...

They were almost there, trudging along up the big hill, when Mary whispered, "Was he really heading toward the Tower when you stopped him?"

Mina didn't have to ask as to which "he" the girl referred because it couldn't have been anyone but Ari Mulciber, who was now rotting in Azkaban where he belonged. "Seemed like," she replied softly, "Pretty much the stupidest thing he could've done, right? I mean, aside from using an Unforgiveable in front of two professors."

Mary didn't answer, and Mina suddenly decided that there was more to the story. She said as much, demanding a full report.

Seeming far less anxious now that she knew Mulciber was locked away, the dark-haired girl declared, "He talked to me a few times before. In the library. He was nice, but I didn't... I guess he was flirting. No one ever had before, so I didn't realize... I probably would've gone out with him if I'd known. It's not like I have boys fighting over me."

Mina bit her tongue to keep from reporting Remus's interest. She would never sell her brother out like that. Plus, she still wasn't sure if she approved of Mary for him. (Then again, Mina couldn't think of any girls who were really good enough for Remus, and Mary was rapidly gaining rank among the best of the least worst.)

"Then he pulled me into that bathroom," Mary murmured, shivering violently, "He yelled that I was a tease, and then... I wasn't trying to be a tease. I didn't even know he liked me... If he just would've _asked_..."

Placing a steadying hand on her friend's shoulder (yes, fuck it, they were friends), Mina gave a gentle squeeze and declared, "You could've shown up naked in his dorm and he still wouldn't have had any right to do what he did without permission. Just forget him, Mac. It wasn't your fault."

Mary shrugged, apparently unconvinced.

"Remus said thanks," Mina finally admitted, "I told him you said that you hope he feels better, and he said to tell you thanks very much." She left out the part where she yelled at him for talking to Mary in the first place.

The dark-haired behemoth smiled, tried to hide her blush.

xxXx

"You're awfully chipper this morning," Remus observed. He'd been released from Madame Mary's care but had only moved himself from the bed to a chair at Sirius's side.

Unable to keep the probably ridiculous grin off his stunning face, the black-haired lad in question declared, "I asked her out. And she said _yes_."

Remus arched a slim eyebrow at him. He seemed to be thinking hard, picking his words carefully. When they finally came out, those words were the matter-of-fact declaration, "I will destroy you."

"I know," Sirius replied, still pleased and excited, "I'll be a perfect gentleman, Moony. I swear. I won't let her seduce me until at least the third date."

There was a loud, menacing growl as Remus aimed his glare back into his book.

Chuckling, Sirius stared dreamily up at the ceiling. He imagined how wonderful his life would be from that moment forth, how good it would feel to be able to hold Mina in his arms, kiss her whenever and wherever he wanted. He imagined passing saucy notes during class, holding hands everywhere they went, sneaking away for stolen moments alone. He would take things slow with Mina, make sure she knew that he loved her and never wanted anyone else.

Someday, he would marry that girl and be the father of her demon offspring. Just like in the fairytales.

"Can I come out yet?" Peter whined, his voice muffled in the corner he faced.

Tersely, Sirius replied, "I don't know. Have you learned your lesson?"

"It was an _accident_!" replied the rat, "I said I was sorry!"

"That's good to hear," Sirius snickered, ignoring Remus's disapproving eye roll. "But it's not up to me anyways," the black-haired teen continued, "Sunny put you there. You'll have to ask her."

"Ask me what?" She arrived suddenly, frost clinging to her damp tresses.

Sirius found himself absolutely unable to get the stupid grin off his face, even when Mina glowered at him for probably that exact reason. "Wormtail says he's learned his lesson," the young man reported, petting the traumatized skunk in his lap, "Perhaps you'd like to release him from his punishment?"

Her eyes narrowed at the lad in question, staring heatedly as he squirmed and struggled to pull his face from the corner it had been charmed into. "Ugly was going to _kill_ Monty," Mina snarled, "_And_ I had to wake up to the sounds of Evans shrieking like a bloody banshee."

"I'm _sorry_!" Peter insisted once more. He sounded suspiciously close to tears, "I didn't mean to leave the door open!"

Mina huffed, waved her wand and bit out a merciful but rather insincere, "Whatever." Though she had released him, the girl still pointedly ignored Peter... and Sirius. "Ready for class, Moony?" she demanded impatiently.

Pouting, Sirius greeted, "Aren't you going to ask after my delicate condition?"

"You're fine," Mina snapped, still avoiding eye contact, "You wouldn't even be in here anymore if you weren't such an attention-starved twat. Now let's go. Prongs is waiting outside with Mac."

"Why didn't they come in?" Remus inquired, gathering a few scattered texts.

Annoyed, Mina explained, "Because we're almost late, and Prongs is as easily distracted as a four-year-old on a sugar binge, especially with _that_ attention-starved twat around to encourage him."

She seemed like she was mad at Sirius, but he had no idea why she would be... not that the girl generally needed a concrete reason...

Remus appeared to be thinking something similar because he spared his sister a fond but confused glance before opening the door.

"Oh," Sirius heard him say, like all of his questions had been suddenly explained. He gave Sirius a look that was an odd mix between the classic Very-Bloody-Annoyed-You-Brainless-Tosser and the much less seldom seen Greatly-Amused-at-the-Expense-of-Others. Then the sandy-haired werewolf was gone.

Mina tossed back one more venomous I'd-Kill-You-But-I-Have-to-Get-to-Class glare and then followed her brother out.

Sirius still hadn't been given permission to be out of bed, and, to be honest, he would've liked nothing better than to stay there until his head stopped spinning and his blood stopped feeling as if it'd been replaced with Pete's last corrosive Potions failure. But he had to know what was on the other side of the door and why it had gotten Mina so upset, so the young man bravely pushed himself up and teetered his way across the room.

Sirius often forgot about the special silencing charm on the Hospital Wing: in an effort to keep patients from being disturbed, the charm kept sound out even when the door had been opened. It was a good thing, too, because Sirius never would've been able to relax at all if he'd been able to hear the obnoxious buzz of conversation from the twenty or so old snogging partners who were milling around in the hallway with chocolates and flowers in their hands and hopeful desperation in their eyes.

Sweating from the exertion of his excursion, Sirius turned around and struggled to return to his cot, to think of a way to get rid of all those girls. And a way to make Mina understand his feelings for her.

xxXxx

"No."

Mina'd had a headache all day, and she was sure that it had to be some brain-rot she'd caught wading through all those sluts outside the Hospital Wing. It had nothing to do with how little she'd slept in the last... shit. How long was it again? Five days or six? Remus was going to be pissed if he found out.

"I'm not going back," she insisted crossly, glaring at her homework as the letters turned fuzzy and waltzed feverishly across the page. They'd been doing that all damn day, and it made studying next to impossible. "Padfoot can just suck it up and come to me if he's got something to say."

Sighing, James fluffed his ridiculous hair and replied, "Madame Mary still won't release him. Come on, Sunny. You know he had nothing to do with all those girls being out there. He hasn't talked to any of them in over a year. I thought that if anyone would understand the annoyance of unwanted admirers, it would be you."

Maybe if she'd gotten more sleep, Mina would've been a bit more rational. However, all she could manage to think about was Sirius with those disgusting tramps... and if she herself was now one of those disgusting tramps...

Fuck.

This was what she got for falling prey to a handsome smile.

"They aren't _admirers_," Mina snarled. Her muscles ached. Even her teeth. And the exhaustion was getting harder and harder to hide as James forced more and more conversation. "They're _past conquests_," she hissed, "And I am not pushing through them and their venereal diseases again just to see what pansy-arse crap Padfoot wants to whine about now."

James's eyebrows vaulted up and under his shock of black fringe. They stayed there, and Mina found herself briefly worried for their safety. Sometimes things went into James's hair and were never seen again. "He said you'd say that," the young man reported, "Almost word for word. Spooky."

Mina growled and bounced a wad of parchment off his forehead. The eyebrows returned from fringedom unscathed.

And of course, James took the attack in stride. He was always so bloody cheerful. He kicked his feet up onto the secluded library table (scattering Mina's work in the process) and announced, "You should know that I've been given instructions to get you there at any cost. And I can be at least three times more annoying than this without even trying."

Her anger became a sudden spike of crippling pain lancing the base of her skull, and Mina had to squeeze her eyes shut to avoid vomiting from the unexpected agony of it all. She might've whimpered, might've not. The quill clenched in her fist snapped like a bone.

James caught on quickly, was by her side in what must've been a flash. "You did sleep this morning, didn't you?" he demanded, kneading her trembling shoulders, somehow suddenly cradling her like an infant, "You slept before practice because you said Lily woke you up."

"Ten minutes," Mina croaked, knowing that she was in for a chewing out for stretching the truth of her brief nap. She didn't care, curling into his thin yet surprisingly solid chest just because it was so damn warm.

But James didn't scold. Instead, he rocked her gently, petted her hair. "It's alright," he murmured. His voice sounded so nice, but so far away. "Let's get some potion and get you to bed."

That finally did wrench a hopeless sob from Mina's raw throat. "Took some at lunch," she admitted quietly, "When I went back to the dorm for that book. I was going to ditch. Made me dizzy, but didn't work otherwise. It doesn't work anymore. Then I smoked three joints, but that didn't work either. I'm going to go insane again and probably die. Tell Moony he can have my chocolate. My secret stash. I know he knows where it is."

"Don't talk like that, Sunny," James chided lightly, one-handedly gathering her belongings and then easily carrying them and her out of the library, "You're going to be just fine... and by the way, we _all_ know where you keep your secret stash."

Mina grumbled a few disagreements and colorful character assassinations, but she was finding it hard to concentrate on making herself coherent. They moved through the castle with only James's jovial reassurances to hold off the smothering silence.

Then suddenly Evans was there, stepping out of a classroom and frowning with her usual disapproval. "Have you gotten in another fight?" she demanded crossly.

"Sunny isn't feeling well," James immediately piped up, polite but curt as he kept on walking without even an inappropriate wink, "We're on our way to the Hospital Wing, if you don't mind."

Even in Mina's altered state, the girl could tell that Evans was inexplicably hurt by the brush off.

xxXxx

Madame Mary thought that the dosage might've been off. Or maybe some of the ingredients had been bad. Either way, she got to work right away brewing up another, stronger batch of Sleeping Draught.

In the meantime, all Mina could do was stare at the ceiling and ignore her friends. Sirius in particular as he lazed beside her in the narrow cot.

Mina couldn't remember _why_ they were sharing a cot, especially since there were so many empty ones (all except the one where Pete sat, fidgeting with uselessness), but she didn't give the situation much thought beside that. Sirius's fingers felt nice twirling through her hair, and she could've fallen asleep to the sensation if her brain was the sort that shut down without excessive prompting.

"Why you in my bed?" the girl demanded, frowning when her words didn't come out quite right. She tried to correct the statement but found that her tongue had been somehow replaced with a flabby pork cutlet that refused to be spit out. Too little sleep._ Way_ too much weed.

Sirius gave the blanket they were sharing another snug tuck around her shoulders. "This is my bed," he insisted playfully.

There was a joke there. But Mina didn't get it. The pork cutlet was gone. But she didn't want to think about where. It certainly hadn't been successfully spit out. She just burrowed closer to her friend's body heat and muttered, "Oh."

Sirius squirmed briefly and then declared, "Not really, Sunshine. I... I just..."

Remus crashed through the door and was at his sister's side in an instant, laying a smooth palm against her forehead.

"Sorry, Moony," she croaked, wondering when they'd become triplets because there were two of him crouching there, both worry-warting like champs, "Tried... hey, let's be musketeers, not stooges. Swords and big feathery hats."

His eyes were sad and soft, gooey caramels Mina unsuccessfully attempted to pluck and eat. Chase the alarming raw pork taste out of her sticky mouth.

"I know you tried," Remus soothed, easily holding her hand down. James the Fetcher appeared behind him as he added, "I'm not mad. It's not your fault."

"Born like this," Mina confirmed, "S'why Mother hated me."

He didn't deny the fact; the woman had screamed it enough for denial to be pointless. Instead, Remus settled for a definitive, "She was stupid and pathetic. And wrong."

Mina didn't reply but smiled, a little. And that made Remus smile, a little. Just for a moment, it was just the two of them again, Remy and Romy huddled somewhere secret, alone against the world.

Before Mina knew it, she was crying. For no reason and every reason. Because she was _so tired_.

"Shhh," said Remus, expression pained, "Try to relax, alright? I promise, you'll be fine." Still rather frantic, he directed his caramel gaze toward Sirius and demanded, "Can't you give her... something."

Whispering, Sirius replied, "She smoked up almost our whole stash just since I've been in here, mate. Doesn't look like it did any good."

Must've been bad if Remus was actually trying to score weed for his sister.

The very thought made her giggle.

The laughter seemed to disturb the boys even more than the crying had. Or maybe that was the speed with which Mina had switched from one to the other.

She needed to get serious.

(And Sirius.)

((_What?_))

"Someone should turn in my homework," Mina announced, swiping clumsily at the moisture pooling in her eye sockets, "There's a stack on my trunk. Least three weeks. Don't let Wormtail touch it. He'll set it on fire."

"I said I was _sorry_!" the rat crowed angrily.

"Leave her alone, Pete," scolded James, "She doesn't know what she's saying."

"Ya, Pete," the girl murmured in agreement, "Mina's crazy again. Let's talk about her like she's not here."

James gave a sad pout and insisted, "Sunny, I didn't mean it like that-"

The doors banged open yet again, Professors Dumbledore and McGonogall striding through together. McGonogall fixed them with a stern but unreadable stare, announcing, "I grow tired of hearing that you five are in here yet again."

"I grow tired of your _face_," Mina slurred.

The boys all seemed to hold in a breath, waiting to see which of their top-two most-feared females would emerge victorious from the latest exchange.

However, McGonogall barely even acknowledged the outburst, instead sweeping away to consult with Madame Mary.

That left Dumbledore alone with the teens. He sat wearily onto a nearby cot, fluffy beard out of reach of Mina's grasping fingers.

(She had a sudden urge to braid everything within sight.)

"My dear," the old man began, "Perhaps you should try closing your eyes."

"Bloody genius," Mina cackled in reply, flailing theatrically and possibly smacking Sirius in the process, "I'm _cured_!" Once she started laughing, the girl found stopping quite difficult. Impossible even for several long minutes as the boys did their best to calm her down. Keep her in bed.

But once the hilarity died away, Mina was left feeling twice as exhausted as before. Nauseated and trembling all over. She couldn't force her vision to focus at all, and the blurry room whirled all around her until she had to close her eyes before she got sick.

There was humming, and although it sounded nice, it didn't help. She grabbed hold of a handful of fabric and held on tight, fighting and losing when someone pushed a foul concoction to her mouth, forced it down her throat.

And then... darkness.

xxXxx

Four days later was when Remus really started to lose his shit. It was understandable, of course; his sister had been in a deep, death-like sleep for far longer than intended. And Sirius wasn't the least bit surprised when his friend finally snapped and spent an hour berating Madame Mary, accusing the woman of everything from incompetence to attempted assassination. They ended up physically dragging the lad away and barely got as far as the hallway before his anger turned back into brokenhearted despair.

Things only got worse as four days became five, five became six, six became seven. Another Saturday rolled around, and without Mina, there was no point. The remaining Marauders, gloomy and tense, spent their day off lounging about at their female member's beside. Remus had several bouquets of flowers as well as their sender, dear old Lord Timaeus, removed with extreme prejudice.

Mina was going to be so proud when she finally woke.

Though she might be just as angry about the company her brother had been keeping in her absence: Mary MacDonald was a frequent visitor, and while the girl did seem genuinely worried for Mina, she never showed up without a treat for Remus and never left without talking to him for at least a few minutes.

Surprisingly, even Evans stopped by once. She didn't stay long, leaving in a huff when neither Remus nor James gave her presence much acknowledgement.

Maybe James was right about the redhead's secret feelings for him after all.

Sirius hated that Mina wasn't awake to joke and mock, but he consoled himself that at least she looked peaceful in sleep. Those last minutes before she'd finally succumbed to the potion had been very hard to watch, her panic and pain obvious as reality spun further out of reach.

Kneading his temples, the young man again tried to distract himself with happier thoughts, mainly where he would be taking Mina on their date. All notions of typical romance had already been discarded; they simply wouldn't impress his cantankerous crush. Any hint of candlelight could very well get Sirius killed.

But it did have to be special. Something daring, exciting. Possibly illegal. And of course with plenty of excuses for closeness...

"No," Remus declared sternly.

Sirius blinked at his friend and then wondered, "Was I thinking out loud again?"

With a weak chuckle, James explained, "Nah, mate. But it's all over your face."

"You can't date my sister if you get her arrested on your first date," growled Remus. He really was in a mood.

Sirius flashed a grin. "What kind of man do you think I am?" he said (knowing he shouldn't but unable to resist ribbing his friend), "That's more a third date sort of activity."

Remus opened his mouth to give an angry retort but froze instead, his gaze instantly drawn to the briefest flutter of Mina's eyelids.

They all waited, silent and eager, to see if she would wake.

She did not.

Almost deflating in slow motion, Remus slumped back into his chair and stared forlornly at the wall.

Mina flew awake with a gasp, startling her twin straight out of his seat and roughly onto the floor. He was back up in an instant, helping the others hold the girl down as she lashed out in blind confusion.

She calmed quickly, glancing at each one of the Marauders and then going limp in their grasp. "Fuck," the girl croaked, voice a brittle rasp. Peter handed her a glass of water, which Mina drained completely before attempting to speak again. "You lot are bastards," she insisted crossly, "What the hell happened? How long was I out?"

"A week," answered Remus, gentle hands deftly straightening her riot of sandy hair, "You developed a tolerance for the Sleeping Draught, so Madame Mary brewed you a stronger batch. It was a bit too strong."

Mina scowled, grumbling, "You think?" She pushed the boys off her, shakily trying to stand.

Remus shoved her back down. "Stay there," he ordered, "You're going to need to take it easy."

"Piss off, Moony," Mina replied, trying and failing to escape his fretting. Even after surrendering to the twin-imposed bed rest, the girl still defiantly snarled, "Somebody better get me some damn food then."

Peter scampered off to fulfill the request.

And that left Mina pouting in her cot, squirming as her brother continued to fuss with the blankets.

Sirius laughed at her discomfort and earned a certain rude hand gesture for his trouble. "Missed you, too, Sunshine," he murmured.

xxXxx

"What are you, my pimp?" Mina demanded, only half paying attention to her brother's only half amused snort.

Dumbledore remained stoic. Very still. When he finally did speak, his voice was hushed. "Lord Timaeus is a good man," the headmaster insisted, "And I don't believe his request to be unreasonable, nor his intentions anything but pure. Especially considering the fact that you've assaulted him on numerous occasions."

With a very loud scoff, Mina continued, "But that still doesn't explain why you're so eager to get me to go to dinner with him. What's the angle, old man?"

Remus clearly didn't approve of the wording but didn't scold; he was probably just as interested in hearing the answer.

However, Dumbledore refused to give one, instead sweeping to his feet in a flurry of robes and importance. "Lord Timaeus will meet you in the entry hall at six," he said, "I trust you'll be punctual. And well-behaved." And then he was gone.

"Wanker," muttered Mina. She tossed her body down onto the nearest cot and let her limbs fall where they pleased.

Remus sat down beside her, in the one square foot of space left. He smirked and, like he'd been dying to forever, remarked, "So. You and Padfoot."

Mina groaned aloud, complaining, "I am never going to hear the end of this, am I?"

"Probably not," her brother teased. He patted her leg and added, "But I'll be happy to keep my mouth shut for the time being."

Narrowing her gaze, Mina challenged, "And why is that?"

A vivid blush stained the lad's pronounced cheekbones. "Don't freak out," warned Remus.

Mina wasn't about to promise anything. And the inquisitive raise of her eyebrow was nothing more than permission to proceed.

The sandy-haired lad wouldn't be deterred, taking a deep breath before bravely announcing, "I'm taking Mary to Hogsmeade on Valentine's Day."

"Erg," complained Mina, "But she's so bloody... tall."

Remus chuckled. "That's the best you've got? I guess you really are friends with her now."

With an energetic eye roll, Mina argued, "Oh, I've got worse. Much, much worse. But I never say anything behind someone's back that I haven't said to their face first. Let's have this conversation again tomorrow."

Remus matched the eye roll quite impressively. "I like her," he insisted.

Once more, Mina groaned. Then, she conceded, "I guess it could be worse... just don't get ahead of yourself. Mac's got a long way to go before I'll even consider her for sister-in-law material."

"I think you're the one getting ahead of herself," Remus argued with yet another striking blush.

Mina could feel a slightly evil smile spreading slowly across her face, spreading even wider as she watched her brother get progressively more worried. Then, she threw her head back and sang, "REMUS AND MARY SITTING IN A TREE! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!..."

xxXxx

Aware that he was pouting at a three-year-old level and that most of Gryffindor was staring at him in confusion, Sirius finished moving the last piece of furniture out of the center of the common room, backed up against the far wall, and took off running straight for the girls' staircase.

He got nearly halfway up before the steps collapsed on him and a few strides farther before the momentum of his sprint failed against the downward (and backward) pull of gravity. He barely caught a glimpse of Mina's surprised face sliding toward him before he found himself very rapidly returning to the common room in a fashion that would later be described as "literally arse over elbows."

After hitting the floor hard enough to make his entire skeleton vibrate like a tuning fork, Sirius was not inclined to move right away. And he barely even registered the sounds of Mina's furious cursing or of her own unexpected tumble.

And then she crash landed hard directly onto Sirius's stomach.

"Fuck's sake, Padfoot," she groaned, smacking him in the head and planting a knee in his hip as she struggled to right herself, "I _told you_ I'd be down in a blink!"

"Couldn't wait," replied Sirius, the reason for his ill-advised invasion attempt attempting to re-enter his poor addled brain.

It would have to wait a moment because Sirius caught sight of Mina's skin-tight dress, wild hair, and intense eyes and nearly choked on his own tongue.

The look was impressive for having been accomplished in barely five minutes.

Then he remembered that she wasn't dressed up for him, and he frowned at his lovely beloved. "You're really going through with it?" he complained.

Nostrils flaring and cheeks flushing with anger, Mina answered, "Only to tell _Lord Timaeus_ for the last time that I'm not interested. First the entitled piece of shit tries to _buy me_ off my scumbag father, and now he's got Dumbledore forcing me out on a date! What the bloody hell is wrong with men that they think this sort of conduct is acceptable?"

Uh oh. Sirius didn't mean to trigger a Rant... even though anger really did become his cranky crush...

"Last time I checked, none of us were living in the damn middle ages! You'd think people wouldn't have such ridiculous notions! How fucking narcissistic do you have to be to walk around thinking that you're not only better than others, but that you also deserve more rights? That you're allowed to make decisions for and even own another human being? It's _horrifying_! It just makes me want to kick his fucking teeth in-"

"Sunny," came Remus's interrupting scold, "What have we discussed about screaming obscenities in public?"

Sirius didn't know when the bookish werewolf had arrived but _was_ quite sure that Remus didn't appreciate the position in which he'd found his twin.

Mina, however, remained oblivious (or perhaps just uncaring) of the danger to Sirius and stayed straddling his stomach. "Fuck off, Moony," she said with a grin.

Tsk-tsking but unable to hide a slight smile of his own, Remus replied, "I'm only thinking of the younger kids and their delicate little ears."

"Oh, please," the girl teased back, "I've been swearing at the rugrats since they first started. Someone has to make sure they have the vocabulary necessary to face the cruel, cruel world."

Remus shook his head and gave up. He declared, "Then just get off Padfoot before I have to snap his neck."

Mina did so, but Sirius couldn't decide whether to be relieved or disappointed. He remained sprawled on his back at the bottom of the stairs, only half listening to the twins' continuing banter and missing the warmth of Mina's toned thighs.

James finally made an appearance, shooting Sirius a puzzled but amused glance before greeting Mina with a quick hug. He whispered something in her ear, pressed something small into the palm of her hand.

And Sirius suddenly felt much better about the idea of Mina going out with another guy...

xxXxx

The restaurant Lord Timaeus chose was fancy, and Mina made a point of ordering the most expensive item on the menu for every single course. She said little else, staring down her captor until he began to squirm with discomfort halfway through the salads.

"I really only came here to apologize," he insisted once more, still distractingly handsome even when he'd sworn not to pull out the veela powers.

"Do you always apologize to the merchandise after a sale falls through?" Mina challenged, "I bet there's some real estate in the Bahamas that got a wonderfully worded letter after your deal went south in escrow."

Timaeus sighed, picking morosely at his pile of lettuce, golden fringe draped just _so_ across his tanned forehead. "I never intended..." he began, searching for the right words and apparently deciding on the truth, "I accompanied my older brother Darius to a card tournament. I don't play, but Darius tends to overindulge in drink and prematurely spend his inheritance if he doesn't have anyone to supervise."

Mina rolled her eyes.

Undeterred, the veela continued, "I stepped out for a moment to use the restroom, and by the time I returned, Darius had managed to go all in against your father. Since your father had no remaining chips, he offered you to my brother. He showed a picture-"

"That fucking prick has a picture of me?" Mina snarled, oblivious to the scandalized stares that the color and volume of her language had earned from the other patrons.

Timaeus turned a bit red in his cherubic cheeks, cleared his throat, and went on, "Yes. And Darius thought you were very beautiful, so he agreed. But he was also very... inebriated at that point. The fact that he is already married seemed to escape his mind."

Mina grumbled, "Bloody fucking perfect."

"He only realized his error after he'd won," Timaeus explained, "Our kingdom does not abide polygamy, but Darius also had a duty to provide for you or else bring shame upon our entire family. As the youngest and only unmarried of my brothers, I was asked to offer myself in his place. I'm truly sorry for the situation and any insult that I or my family might have caused, but I can assure you that we were doing the best we could to uphold both our honor and yours. I just couldn't leave until I tried to make you understand that."

Mina had always had a problem with anger. Her normal levels were much higher than what was normal to others. So to say that Mina was rapidly approaching a level of anger that worried even her was quite extreme.

"I don't give a shit about your backward-arse traditions or Podunk fucking kingdom or drunken, perverted relatives," she hissed, only half aware of the fork in her hand starting to glow red hot and melt into the pristine tablecloth, "You think it actually makes me feel _better_ to know that I was traded not once but _twice_? You think I care that you were just _taking one for the team_ by agreeing to marry me and lord over me for the rest of my bloody life? That story is horrendous, and _you_ are an awful, ignorant creature!"

She released the chunk of twisted metal that used to be her fork, doing her best to take deep, calming breaths lest her intense spike of rage-induced accidental magic start destroying things at other tables as well.

Besides, Mina had a mission. A plan. A long-term solution to the problem of the pesky veela.

Before he could react, Mina slapped a thin bracelet around his wrist. The unadorned metal loop clasped itself, pulsed faintly just once, and then settled in for a long stay.

"This is a bomb," Mina stated half-truthfully, "If you try to remove it or, more importantly, try to come near me again, it will go off. And your hand will never be the same. Do you understand?"

Wide-eyed, Timaeus nodded in terror and snatched back his arm. He actually looked like he might cry, whispering, "But I was just... I was apologizing."

With a sadistic laugh, Mina taunted "Ya, but first you tried to buy me from my father. There's really no going back from that."

In a few months, when the charm wore off and the bracelet revealed itself to contain nothing but a few of James's special-strength dungbombs, hopefully they would make Timaeus think twice before seeking Mina's company once more.

"Everyone said you were cruel," the dashing lord sniffled, "I didn't believe them, but I suppose they were right."

"Suppose so," Mina chirped brightly, stealing a fork off the next table and getting back to demolishing her pricey meal.

xxXxx

Even though he couldn't stop shaking, Timaeus insisted on walking Mina all the way home to the doors of Hogwarts before he departed, scurrying away rapidly with only several worried backward glances.

Mina chuckled into the mostly full bottle of expensive white wine she'd snagged off the table as they left the restaurant. It was a job well done, and she really couldn't wait to go brag.

She didn't have to wait long.

Looking strapping and smug in painted-on black jeans and a faded Yellow Submarine t-shirt, Sirius stepped out of the Great Hall and announced, "I will now be collecting on the date I was promised."

A swig of wine. A puff of smoke. Mina had both hands full with those so couldn't conjure a rude gesture. Pity. That would've been the trifecta. "Excuse me?" she demanded instead.

"Just get in here," Sirius answered, rolling his eyes and disappearing from view.

Curiosity propelled the girl forward into the dark. She couldn't see much but it seemed as though the tables had been removed and the windows covered. After only a few more steps, the door slammed shut behind her, plunging the girl into blackness.

Her vision took a moment to adjust and detect that there was still light coming from the ceiling. Thousands of pinprick stars. Occasional streaks as some began to fall.

"So," said Sirius, crowding against her back and wrapping his thick arms around her body, "How'd it go?"

Mina grinned. "Had him in tears before the entrees even arrived," she boasted quite proudly.

Chuckling, Sirius remarked, "James said all he gave you was a few dungbombs. That is truly impressive, my Sunshine."

"I thought so," the girl agreed with a snicker. She soon found herself being steered toward a thick pile of blankets and pillows arranged in star-gazing formation on the floor.

"Bloody clouds ruined my grand romantic gesture," Sirius murmured against her neck, "But at least we'll be warmer in here." He stole a pull out of her wine bottle as they sat, stretching out but making certain that Mina remained close.

Not that she wouldn't have anyways. Sirius made a pretty damn good pillow. They watched the stars for what seemed like hours.

Then Mina declared, "I believe I was promised dinner to go along with this date."

"How can you be hungry again already?" Sirius laughed.

"Did we reinstate the daily quota for stupid questions?" Mina deadpanned.

Sirius clutched his heart in mock agony, whining, "Ouch. Fine. I'll have you know that three of Hogwarts's finest house-elves are preparing our feast as we speak. But I wasn't really going to count this as our date anyways, seeing as how you've just been out with another bloke and I am the jealous type. This is more of a pre-date, just to make sure you aren't running off with the prick veela."

Mina slapped him lightly on his taut stomach.

Again, there was silence. Comfortable silence, but still. Mina could help being aware of a crackle of awkward, nervous energy coming from both herself and her companion. Things were different.

"You want a speech?" Sirius asked softly, genuine but, Merlin, still very much the smug arsehole with whom she was somehow falling in love. "I could spend days telling you how great you are."

"I _am_ an amazing specimen of feminine perfection," agreed Mina.

Sirius snorted but wisely did not comment. He blew a few smoke rings, probably because he knew that Mina enjoyed watching them float away into the great wide universe. Then, he murmured, "You're it, Sunshine."

With a slow grin, Mina snuggled closer and casually inquired, "What're you doing on Saturday?"

xxxxxxxxxx

Three updates in one month. Yay for unemployment.

Reviews are thoughtful and inspiring and give me the will to keep typing even after I think my fingers will fall off ;)


	16. Predators and Polyjuice

Part 16 – Predators and Polyjuice

In the end, it really was quite fortunate that Remus was taking Mary to Hogsmeade. If he hadn't had a date of his own to worry about, the overprotective werewolf might've spent a much larger percentage of the following few days scaring Sirius witless. Standing over the lad while he was sleeping, whispering veiled threats during class and meals and leisure. Arranging for unfortunate accidents to occur all around him.

Or worse: Remus might've actually followed through on his repeated offers to _supervise_ his sister and friend.

"You're the one who needs a bloody chaperone!" Mina snarled during breakfast. She speared a pancake and then proceeded to (somehow) shove the entire thing into her mouth at once. The volatile teen had dressed casual: tight jeans, tight jumper, wild sandy waves. Only a sultry smudge of kohl around her deep blue eyes and a tantalizing hint of something shiny winking on her luscious lips betrayed that the day was different from any other.

Ignoring Sirius's besotted stare and Remus's look of disgust (either for the besotted stare or for the atrocious table manners), the girl declared, "It's de quiet ones ya gotta look out fo'."

James chuckled, "I'm sorry. Was that English?" He then spotted Evans entering the Hall and dashed away to ask her, yet again, to accompany him to Hogsmeade. The bespectacled lad returned not even two minutes later with all his features rearranged. "She wants me," said the grinning mouth just above his elbow.

(They never did get him to admit where his nose ended up.)

After dropping James off in the Hospital Wing and ditching Remus (who was still insisting that he should come supervise) and Peter (who had been secretly enlisted by Remus to spy), Mina and Sirius sprinted straight for the Three Broomsticks. Per their previously established plan to avoid gawkers and meddlers and—perhaps most importantly—the horror that was Madame Puddifoot's, the pair hurled themselves into the floo and were gone in an instant.

Diagon Alley wasn't exactly empty, but it hadn't yet fully recovered from the summer attack either. Not that the shopkeepers weren't trying, most having invested in gaudy pink and white decorations in honor of Valentine's Day. Couples shuffled along, determined but skittish.

Sirius hadn't planned much past the initial excitement of the escape and found himself struck by a moment of panic. What should he do with Mina? Should he suggest something normal or something more romantic? What if he screwed everything up?

"Hey," the girl chimed, her arm still wrapped around Sirius's gallant bicep as she nodded across the icy street, "Isn't that Frank?"

Sure enough, big, blonde, burly Frank Longbottom was walking stiffly down the other side of the Alley. He looked about the same except for the buzz cut, maybe more obvious muscles, less boyish baby fat in his freckled cheeks. He would be around nineteen or twenty, so that made sense. They hadn't seen the former-prefect in about a year and a half, not since he graduated and went off to the auror academy. The common room just hadn't been the same without Frank around to bother. He always got so deliciously riled.

It was perfect. It was fate.

"We have to mess with him," Sirius decided, sharing a sinister grin with his companion.

She giggled, and together they stalked the robed figure as he cluelessly went about walking up one side of the Alley and then down the other. After the third lap, Sirius realized that his old friend was patrolling. Frank must've been on duty.

But that certainly didn't stop the two Marauders from gradually closing the gap between themselves and their prey, slapping hands over each other's snickering mouths, manhandling each other into doorways and behind signs in order to avoid detection. It was silly. But it was _so much fun_.

Well, until Frank took a sharp turn down a side street.

Sirius and Mina crept along after him, at that point so lost in their game and each other that they didn't notice their own shadow closing in behind.

And the next thing Sirius knew, he was facedown on the cobblestones, his arms contorted painfully behind his back, his wrists lashed securely together. A petite knee pressing between his shoulder blades and crushing the air from his lungs. He opened his eyes and gazed into Mina's, the girl staring back at him from an identical position.

"Oh, shit," Sirius wheezed, "Are we arrested?" Jokes aside, he really hadn't seen that coming.

"Detained," answered a snide female voice from somewhere above his head, "Pending interrogation."

The young man let loose a relieved breath. "Thank Merlin," he sighed, "Moony would've murdered me for real. I had to promise no arrests on the first date."

"I want my attorney!" Mina shrieked, thrashing against the knee planted in her spine, "Frank, you fat bastard! Get the fuck off me! We were just playing around!"

"Lupin?" The knee eased up a bit, a familiar meaty paw grabbing the girl's short hair, tilting her snarling face toward the sparse sunlight. He gave Sirius the same treatment, apparently recognizing him as well. Exasperated, Frank groaned, "Let them up. They're just idiot kids."

"I take offense to that," Sirius argued as he was released, as he turned over and rubbed his wrists, put an arm around Mina to prevent her from sudden bursts of violence.

Frank glared, snapping, "And I take offense to idiot kids following me while I'm trying to do my job. Aren't you two supposed to be at school?"

"Field trip," Sirius replied, winking at the clearly unimpressed female auror.

She was pretty, average height, average build but slender and tiny-looking next to Frank's bulk, her round, frowning face framed by a few golden blonde tendrils that had escaped her messy ponytail. Her wand remained at the ready, only half hidden in the sleeve of her trim charcoal robe.

"Black," Frank groaned, "For the love of... Don't you know that this kind of behavior is _dangerous_?"

"Not with big strong aurors like you around to protect us defenseless tykes," Sirius teased. He knew that he should probably keep quiet, but... well, he had a potential girlfriend to impress, thank you very much. And talking back to authority figures was a guaranteed way to her heart.

Frank, however, refused to be baited. "Up," he ordered, waiting until his prisoners had climbed to their feet and dusted off before cuffing them both upside the head.

"POLICE BRUTALITY!" Mina shouted. She probably would've launched herself at Frank had Sirius not seen fit to restrain the girl with a firm bear hug.

"This is nothing to joke about," scolded Frank, all tough and adulty. Merlin, what had the auror academy done to the lad? He was just no fun anymore. "Newton and I are supposed to be on the lookout for another attack. We need to concentrate, not worry about immature brats chucking dungbombs at our heads."

Mina snorted, "You'll be happy to know that we had no such plans. We saw you and wanted to say hello. Or are you too good for us now?"

Tiredly rubbing at his temples, Frank took a deep, calming breath. "I'll not be manipulated," he stated, "Do you want to go back to the castle of your own accord, or do I have to march you there under guard?"

"Actually," Sirius offered without really thinking, "We were going to get a spot of lunch, if you care to join. I suppose it's the least we can do for making you tackle us."

Mina elbowed him, glared.

Frank also seemed surprised by the offer. He still probably would've turned it down if not for his partner quickly agreeing, "Alright. Lead the way."

Frank gaped at the young woman.

"Don't give me that look, Longbottom," the woman snapped, "We've been on all night, I'm starving, and the other team is finally in position. We're done. Plus, it's not like _you_ ever offer to buy me lunch."

Still conflicted, Frank argued, "But... you don't know them, Newton... they're _crazy_..."

Sirius clutched at his chest. "That hurts," he pouted, "I thought we were friends, Frankie."

"You tormented me!" the big blonde bellowed.

"Only because we liked you," Mina said with an impish smirk.

Everyone shared a snigger over the flabbergasted expression on Frank's face.

xxXxx

Frank and his partner, Alice Newton (apparently a former Hufflepuff Sirius claimed to vaguely recall), really didn't speak much. At least at first. They both insisted on sitting with their backs to the wall in a secluded corner from which they could plainly see all the exits. They tensed noticeably whenever anyone new entered the Leaky Cauldron.

But that was fine. The aurors' paranoia meant that Mina and Sirius had plenty of time to regale Alice with every humiliating Frank story they could think of. And there were certainly plenty of those to go around...

"-So Frank comes running into the common room. He's dripping wet, but somehow his robe is still on fire. The niffler is still going after his toes, and the big bastard is screaming and flailing, trying to catch James-"

"-Peter, too, for some reason. Pete almost never has much of a role, but I think Frank was past rational and going after whichever of us were in eyesight."

"Ya. And Marlene started after Frank, trying to put him out, you know? Only she gets a glimpse of the shiny gold nail polish that's got the niffler so interested, and suddenly Marlene can't help because she's laughing too hard."

"This girl comes through the Portrait. What's her name? The bimbo with the cockeyed tits. I think she's a seventh-year now."

"Bertha Jorkins."

"Ya. Anyways, she sees the fire and tries to spray it with water, only instead of _aguamenti_, this genius yells _acermenti_, which, turns out, is the spell for conjuring maple syrup-"

"Still my favorite spell ever, by the way. I use it practically every morning. And I never would've discovered it without you, Frankie. So cheers."

"Glutton. Anyways, of course the syrup hits Frank straight in the face. He almost looked like he was drowning in it for a few seconds there. But it did put out the fire. Smelled scrumptious."

"The room got all eerily quiet."

"I thought we might've broken him, the way he was turning red and shaking and all. But then he just pried off the niffler and went stomping up to the showers."

Mina ended the story with a bright grin for the embarrassed auror, snuggling under Sirius's arm while Frank's partner cackled in delight.

"Merlin's sexy knickers," Alice gasped, actually holding her sides, "No wonder Longbottom is so uptight!"

"I am not uptight!" the burly blonde defended, his freckled cheeks taking on a distinct pink tinge, "_They_ were utter terrors! No regard at all for any kind of rules or even common decency! It was barbaric!"

Sirius flashed a swoon-worthy smile, chuckling, "C'mon, admit it. You loved us. We gave meaning to your prefect career. If not for us, you would've spent three years just patrolling empty hallways and comforting homesick firsties."

"Which I would have _vastly_ preferred," Frank countered. He was still blustery but seemed to be relaxing, letting his guard down. Maybe even letting himself enjoy the lazy afternoon and the trip down memory lane.

Mina could _almost_ detect a hint of a smile being hastily hidden by the lad's pint glass.

"Anyways," Frank said, trying for a swift subject change as he nodded to the arm Sirius had around Mina's shoulders, "Seems like there might've been some developments in my absence. Are congratulations in order?"

Mina snorted, "We'll see. Not exactly proper procedure to invite law enforcement along on the first date, is it?"

"She's got you there," agreed Alice, the young woman elbowing her partner, "But at least it's not as bad as this one inviting his mum along on our first stakeout."

"I didn't _invite her_," Frank insisted peevishly (probably not for the first time), "I still don't even know how she figured out where we were. Besides, Newton, I didn't hear you complain while you were stuffing your face with the snacks she brought."

As Alice pelted her partner with a handful of peanuts, Sirius laughed himself breathless, wheezing, "Mummy brought snacks to the stakeout? That is _so cute_. She bring you fresh knickers and your blankie, too?"

Gaze suddenly somber, Frank challenged, "Is that what I should bring you on your first?"

"Oh, stop it with the recruitment drives," snapped Alice, rolling her earthy brown eyes, "Like you said, they're just kids."

"Not for long," grumbled Frank. He fixed them in place with a dark look, tragedy lurking behind his stony visage.

Mina chuckled, sort of attempting to steer the conversation back toward less depressing grounds. "I can't be an auror anyhow," she announced, "I'm on certain lists."

"No one actually thought you had anything to do with the summer attack," Frank countered, "They interviewed all the survivors. You were just the only one who made a scene right before and who mouthed off a lot afterward. If you hadn't been such a brat to the investigators, then they never would've even put you as a suspect, but I'm fairly sure you were eliminated a long time ago." Taking another gulp of his drink, the burly blonde added, "As much as it would annoy me to work with you lot, you should consider it. We need people, and you're about the right mix of clever and insane."

"Not sure if that's a compliment to us or an insult to yourself," Sirius chimed in, "But thanks, Frankie. I guess it's an option if we ever decide to become responsible adults."

"Fat chance," Mina grumbled.

xxXxx

Shortly after they left the pub, with Mina gone around the corner chasing Frank with snowballs, Alice pulled Sirius aside and gave him a stern talking to.

"I know Longbottom already covered this," she declared gravely, "But don't let me catch either of you sneaking out again. You're safe where you are, so stay there. Be thankful that you get a few more years until you really have to live in this mess."

"Yes, ma'am," replied Sirius.

His tone must not have conveyed the proper level of sincerity because all the lad received for it was another slap upside the head.

(She was kind of mean for a Hufflepuff.)

Crunching along in search of her partner and the girl from whom he'd frantically fled, Alice grumbled, "Bloody Gryffindors. No sense. The lot of you." She paused thoughtfully for a few moments before adding, "Take her somewhere else. Anywhere other than the place she was tortured, idiot."

Sirius honestly hadn't thought of that. And honestly couldn't dispute the unfavorable description of his mental faculties.

"Some partner you are," Frank huffed, wincing as he returned and tried to shake the snow out of his hair and coat and trousers.

Mina certainly looked proud of herself.

"I'm off duty," laughed Alice, "But I swear, next tiny teenage girl who picks on you during patrols is really going to get it."

xxXxx

"A movie?" Mina challenged skeptically, still confused by her date's sudden desire to immerse them in muggledom, in a record store, a pet store, and (for some reason) a hardware store. Not that she minded. It had been far too long since her last muggle outing, especially into London. But still... the decision was an odd one.

"Ya, look!" Sirius crowed, pointing to a brightly lit marquee at the other end of the otherwise unremarkable street, "_Jaws_! I bet it's about those teeth healers we read about in Muggle Studies! It'll be brilliant!" He stopped quickly and turned around, offering, "But only if you want to." He just looked so sweet and hopeful, the sunset at his back coloring his hair with tantalizing hints of molten scarlet.

Mina laughed, rolled her eyes and squeezed his hand. "I guess," she obliged, "Can't be any worse than the last time we went to the cinema. No talking to the screen, alright?"

With a bright grin, Sirius hugged her tight, pressed his face against her neck and promised, "For you, love, I will be on my very best behavior."

"Well," Mina murmured as she melted into the embrace, "No need for that extreme..."

xxXxx

"Sunny?"

"Ya, Pads?"

"Do you think there are sharks in the lake?"

"Very unlikely."

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"No. There are no sharks in the lake. Now hush. You'll get us thrown out."

...

...

...

"But how can you be _sure_?"

"There are no sharks in the lake. Or in the theater, so ease up on my hand."

"But the river-"

"The Thames is miles away. And it also doesn't have any sharks in it."

"The shark in the movie swam up a river."

"It's not a real shark."

"But a real shark could-"

"Hey! Quiet you kids!"

...

...

...

"So I guess this means you don't want to go skinny-dipping afterward?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but there is no way in hell... now if you want to get naked on land-"

"Keep dreaming, shark-bait."

xxXxx

Sirius knew it was late. Knew he shouldn't have spent so long complaining to theater management about the lack of dentists in his movie. He knew he shouldn't have dragged Mina all across London hunting for shark fin soup.

He didn't really want the soup anyways and was more than happy to give in when his date finally threatened to leave him for a pizza.

He knew he shouldn't have insisted on ice cream after the pizza or sneaking into a bar after the ice cream. Muggle cocktails were interesting but not very strong. So it really wasn't even his fault that they had to stop for a smoke in a shadowy park. And people surely would've noticed that Mina and Sirius were hours late coming home from Hogsmeade.

He knew all these things but really didn't care. As far as Sirius was concerned, the date could go on forever.

But, alas, Mina had reached her limit on the amount of time that she would allow her brother to worry. They took a cab back to the Leaky and then flooed to Hogsmeade. They travelled through the Honeyduke's passage and were home just before midnight.

"That's the curfew Moony and I agreed to anyways," Mina sniggered, her head on his shoulder, "Well, he didn't exactly _agree_, but I told him we wouldn't be any later. Bet you a galleon he's been waiting up on us instead of trying to get into Mac's knickers. Berk."

Sirius inhaled the sweet, smoky, snowy fragrance of Mina's tousled hair. Teased his hand up the back of her jumper, just enough to warm his fingers against her fiery skin and make her whole body shudder.

"Cold hands," she complained quietly, though she didn't pull away. In fact, she slipped her own hand into one of Sirius's back pockets.

The phrase _died and gone to heaven_ came to mind.

But of course, Sir James of the Most Inconvenient Timing had, mere moments before, finally made his valiant escape from the Hospital Wing. His features restored to their proper locations, the lad rounded the corner, spotted his friends, and, with a bright, dopey wave, yelled, "Oi! You two just getting in? How'd it go?"

During the few seconds James took to catch up, Mina and Sirius put some distance between each other. "Fine," the girl reported, blushing, scowling angrily because she hated blushing.

It was so bloody cute.

In order to keep from voicing that hazardous thought, Sirius blurted, "Do you think there are sharks in the lake?"

Mina groaned.

James, inserting himself between his friends and slinging his gangly arms around both their shoulders, declared, "Nah, mate. The giant squid protects its domain from such blood-thirsty invaders. Nothing to worry about."

Sirius felt infinitely, irrationally more secure being so close to the body of water. Not that he'd be setting foot inside it any time soon...

They continued on toward the Tower, James babbling about how Evans had revealed her deep feelings for him that morning by hexing his eyeballs to his armpits. Sirius was just sad that he hadn't even gotten a chance to kiss Mina goodnight. He'd been restraining himself throughout the entire outing because that was the sort of thing that happened at the end of normal first dates. Well, not that their date had been strictly normal, but some traditions persisted for a reason...

Screw it. "Prongs?"

"Ya, Paddy?"

"Bugger off, will you?"

James blinked at him owlishly."Aren't you going to kiss her?"

Sirius glared at his almost-brother. "Hence wanting you to _bugger off_."

"Actually," the speccy git cheerfully replied, "I thought I'd watch."

"_Excuse me_?" Mina gaped.

James was about to get his features rearranged for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, only Mina's version would likely be permanent. "I figured I'd start desensitizing myself to your displays of affection," he said with a grin, "You know, for when you two are all over each other all the time. So that I don't puke."

Mina popped him in the nose, not hard enough to break it or even hard enough smudge his glasses but hard enough to make his hazel eyes water in agony.

Such control. Such finesse. Merlin, she was amazing.

"Bloody hell, woman!" James yelped, already stumbling away, "It was just a thought!"

"Arsehole!" Mina shouted after the retreating figure. She turned her menacing stare onto Sirius next, folding her arms and cocking her hip and challenging, "Well. Go on then."

Damn if that girl wasn't the sexiest, most terrifying creature Sirius had ever laid eyes on.

xxXxx

It was like finally letting a desperate dog off his leash. Even in her own mind, Mina couldn't excuse the corny metaphor, but that was the only one she managed to think of during the split second Sirius took to rush forward and literally sweep the girl off her feet.

Had he really been waiting for permission? That was... quaint...

Mina just wished she hadn't flailed so much at the initial shock, clutching the lad's broad shoulders as he threw his arms around her and proceeded to devour her lips.

Her back hit the wall. Probably harder than Sirius intended. But caring remained difficult as her fingers found their way into his hair (it felt just as silky as it looked) and his tongue found its way into her mouth (Godric's grapes, that sort of sensation should be _illegal_).

So, ya, thought remained difficult. Mina wasn't sure exactly when her eyes had slid shut in pure bliss or when she started up with the embarrassing mewls or when her lungs eventually began screaming for oxygen.

She pulled away with a starved gasp, thumping her head against the stone (again, much harder than intended). She tried to catch her breath. Tried to figure out why she felt like she was floating.

(Because Sirius immediately turned his zealous attentions toward the girl's sensitive neck.)

(Because she could hear and feel him mumbling soft words of adoration against her skin.)

(Because her feet still weren't touching the floor.)

"Fuck, Padfoot," Mina groaned, arching into the lad's muscular chest, nearly squealing with surprise when he grabbed tight to her arse, wrapped her legs around his waist and ground their hips together, sending fire straight into her belly and sparks up the entire length of her spine.

Sirius answered with a low canine whine, trailing off into a guttural, almost possessive growl. "You taste so _good_," he declared, breathing hard against her bare collarbone, nipping at her fluttering throat, "Drives me bloody _insane_."

It was intense. It was... it was _too much_ and _not enough_. Frozen and burning up all in the same moment, Mina awkwardly chuckled, "Bet you say that to all the girls."

She felt him wince, a new layer of tension creeping through his thick frame. He picked his head up, pressed their foreheads together. So she couldn't look anywhere but straight into his storm-cloud eyes. "I was an idiot," Sirius whispered. He only really needed one arm to keep her suspended, the other hand rising tentatively to cradle her cheek. "I took far too long to realize how amazing you are."

He kissed her, slow and soft and simple and unceasing until she began to shiver in his embrace, until she started to suspect that she would shake to pieces without ever knowing why.

And then someone sprayed them both in the face with cold water.

Spluttering, Sirius struggled not to drop the girl, turned in a futile attempt to shield her with his body.

Mina grinned at the gesture, at her companion's uncanny wet dog impression and furious pout. She giggled and went straight back to kissing him, completely ignoring several more blasts of the icy assault.

"Heaven's sake," someone eventually complained, "That is _enough_!"

Though she half expected her brother to be the culprit, Mina glanced over Sirius's shoulder and instead found McGonogall standing straight and tall in her always hilarious tartan bathrobe and matching cap.

The professor glared as she stowed her wand into a convenient hip pocket. "Twenty points from Gryffindor," she declared peevishly, "I can't claim to have expected better of you, Mr. Black, but, Miss Lupin, you surprise me."

Sirius set the girl back on her feet, though she swayed unsteadily and didn't even try to peel herself off his chest.

"Jealous?" Mina taunted.

McGonogall's face turned a completely unprecedented shade of fuschia, the woman bellowing, "Another twenty points for impertinence-"

"There's an impertinence house?" Mina intentionally misinterpreted, even though she knew damn well that she'd already gone way too far, "Boy did I miss out."

Sirius tried to stifle an amused snort but failed horribly.

Narrowing her frightening gaze at both young teens, McGonogall hissed, "We will discuss it tomorrow evening during detention."

"I already have detention with Slughorn for the rest of the year," said Mina, "You know, because I tossed Sirius and that gobby ginger bint into the lake."

Nodding, Sirius contributed, "And I'm booked with Professor Giles until the end of the month. He _really_ didn't like the Magic 8 Ball I brought to Divination on Friday. I expect to be polishing his balls all evening... Hopefully the crystal ones, but, now that I think about it, he wasn't entirely specific..."

McGonogall's left eyelid had begun to twitch violently. "That," the woman replied, "Would be _your_ problem. I expect you both in my office after dinner. No excuses. Now _go to bed_."

xxXxx

"Where have you been?" Remus demanded, obviously struggling to keep calm even as he jumped up to pounce on his sister and her date as soon as they entered the room.

On the couch he'd vacated, Sirius saw Mary give a disappointed pout. She only waited a second longer before dejectedly slinking off up the girls' staircase.

"I told you midnight," Mina said with a grin, not even trying to straighten her ruffled hair or crooked clothing, "We're only a few minutes late. And that wasn't even our fault. McG caught us coming back."

With an almost inaudible growl, Remus insisted, "That doesn't answer my question! You weren't in Hogsmeade!"

"Take it up with him," Mina laughed, nodding at Sirius as she, too, headed toward the stairs, "I'm going to go be an awesome sister now. G'night."

Remus was confused. But then he seemed to notice that Mary had left, frowning as he looked around for clues. Completely missing the sinful wink Mina sent out to Sirius.

Sirius didn't even care that Remus might kick his arse. That date had been _completely worth it_.

Giving up on his search, Remus turned back scowling and complained, "This entire day has been a disaster."

"Speak for yourself, mate," Sirius chuckled. He slung an arm around his friend's skinny shoulders, steering him up to bed. "If it makes you feel any better," the tall Animagus declared, "We didn't get arrested."

xxXxx

"And then when we didn't see you in the Three Broomsticks, he dragged me all the way to the Hog's Head and bribed the barkeeper to let us search the rooms. We walked in on... well, I think it was an orgy, but I really didn't stay long enough to find out for sure."

Mina interrupted her roommate's tirade with a sharp laugh, passing her the joint they were sharing.

Mary took a short hit and then handed it back, coughing, "We never did end up eating lunch. He just wouldn't sit still. We must've been to every shop at least three times. Even Madame Puddifoots! Even after I told him that you said you'd burn the place down before ever going inside! We came back early. He practically ignored me during dinner, and then I tried to be nice and offered to wait up with him. We talked a little, but it was still like I wasn't there most of the time. He just kept looking at this piece of parchment, muttering about wanting to neuter Sirius."

"Sorry about all that," Mina chuckled. She drew hard on the joint until her lungs burned and her head swam. After holding the breath as long as she could, the girl exhaled, sniggered, "We're protective of each other. I'm way more of a bitch about it, so people are always surprised when Remus is the one to freak out."

Shrugging, Mary agreed, "I suppose." She took another halfhearted hit before handing the joint back again, stretching her long legs out on the floor of the farthest shower stall. "Anyways," the giant declared, "That was my disaster of a date. How'd yours go?"

Mina couldn't have kept the smile off her face if she'd tried. "Went to Diagon Alley, got tackled by some aurors," she began casually, "Had lunch with said aurors. Hung out in London. Went to some shops, saw a movie. Pizza. Ice cream. Drinks. Smokes. Then back to the castle to punch James and snog Sirius's face off. We did get caught though. And I'm now double-booked on detentions tomorrow, but all in all, pretty excellent."

Mary just shook her head and laughed.

The bathroom door opened, and Mina immediately began sending out air freshening charms and banishing the smoke (though most of it was lost in the cloud of steam courtesy of the sinks they'd left blasting scalding water). Mary dropped the remnants of the joint down the nearest drain.

(Mary didn't often join in on the illegal activities, but she'd certainly caught on quite quickly to the procedure.)

Moments later, Evans stepped around the corner. She frowned tiredly at them, normally sleek hair mussed from sleep. "What're you doing in here?" the girl yawned, flicking her wand to turn off the hot taps.

"I'm just telling Mina about my date," Mary replied sweetly. Mesmerized by a fraying thread on the sleeve of her long flannel nightgown, the girl added, "How was your day?"

"Fine," answered Evans, though she didn't seem entirely convinced of her own evaluation, "I met Sev for a butterbeer and then came back. I had a lot of homework." Turning her acid green gaze onto Mina, the redhead declared, "Your brother was looking for you."

Mina snorted, "I'm aware."

Instead of leaving right away, Evans remained in the doorway. She fidgeting awkwardly for a few moments before finally stating, "Your makeup looks nice, Mina."

"What?" the girl replied skeptically, sure that she couldn't have heard that right.

Evans sighed, grumbled, "Never mind. Just please try to keep it down, ok? Everyone's asleep."

After the redhead was finally gone, Mina wondered, "What the hell was that?"

"That was someone trying to be nice to you," Mary giggled, "I know you're not used to it, but it is a good thing. Most people even prefer it to the alternative."

"Ha bloody ha," Mina deadpanned. She fished out a fresh joint, lighting it swiftly and then passing it along.

xxXxx

Far too excited to sleep, Sirius spent the night following his first date with Mina breaking into one of Slughorn's supply cupboards. Even before Sunday's late breakfast, he had the whole double-booked-detention situation worked out, but only if he could enlist a few volunteers.

"Can't," James said as he stumbled tiredly around their room, searching for his missing sock, "I promised Walker I'd spent the day giving him some extra coaching, just the two of us. He's worried about playing Hufflepuff next weekend. Agnes Finch got really good all of a sudden. I heard she's dating a Ballycastle reserve."

Groaning, Sirius turned toward yet another option and whined, "Pete? Please? I'll owe you one."

Peter snorted but remained sprawled on his bed, only moving to turn pages in his History text. "You already owe me plenty," he announced, "And anyways, I can't either. Binns is letting me retake that exam I bombed. I had to beg for weeks, so there's no way I can reschedule."

Ugh. What was the use of coming up with genius schemes if no one would help him pull them off?

"Um, Moony-"

"Not a chance."

Remus had been a long shot anyways. Between his own disastrous date and Sirius and Mina's rule-breaking romp, the werewolf would probably be pissy and sulky for at least a week.

"Well, fine," huffed Sirius, roughly grabbing his bookbag (which definitely wasn't filled with books) as he strode from the room, "Me and Sunny will just have to find some new friends to help."

He didn't miss the rowdy, mocking laughter that followed him down the staircase.

"Sunny!" Sirius hollered up into the girls' dormitory, "Sunshine! Hurry up!"

A heard of giggly third-years flounced past him, staring dreamily, not even waiting until they were out of earshot before they started up with the high-pitched, shrieking gossip.

(Maybe it was because he was a dog Animagus, but Sirius had always been especially annoyed by very high-pitched noises. It was not a good way to start a morning.)

"SUNNY! I'm frightened and I'm all alone!"

"Black," Evans greeted, barely containing her obvious disgust as she attempted to move past him, "Do you mind?"

"Not at all," he answered smoothly. But, after another awkward moment with the redhead, the young man had to add, "Er, mind what?"

Exasperated, hugging some worn muggle paperback to her chest, she sighed, "The shouting. It's really quite obnoxious."

"I suppose that argument could be made," he replied, still trying to be charming even though Evans remained entirely unimpressed, as usual.

The two teens shared yet another uncomfortable few seconds before Evans finally rolled her eyes and, like she was talking to a rather slow toddler, stated, "You're also blocking the exit."

Sirius stepped aside but not before asking, "Is Mina still up there?"

Nodding on her way out the door, Evans casually answered, "She looked like she was almost ready... be a dear and get her to quit smoking in the showers? She's not fooling anyone."

Mina was going to be very sad to hear that. She'd been absolutely sure her shower ruse was pure gold.

On cue, a certain someone jumped onto Sirius's back. "Are you going to start bellowing at me every morning?" the girl inquired, her lean legs wrapping securely around Sirius's waist.

"Only when it's important," the young man replied. He wanted to bring her round to his front and greet her properly. Unfortunately, Mina refused to budge. So instead, Sirius announced, "I've solved our detention issue, but we'll need two accomplices. Prongs, Moony, and Wormtail are refusing to oblige."

"Rude of them," Mina chuckled. After a brief pause, she called, "Hey, Mac? Free tonight?"

The curvy keeper fidgeted nervously with the hem of her skirt, stammering, "I... uh... I suppose..."

"Great!" Mina chimed, "One down!"

It was becoming increasingly more difficult for Sirius to concentrate as he felt her wonderful tits pressed against his back.

"Let's go find Benjy Fenwick," the owner of said tits proclaimed, "I bet I can make him do it."

Sirius chuckled, correcting, "I think the word you're looking for is _persuade_."

xxXxx

Benjy Fenwick was a wuss. But he was still occasionally useful. Such as when, after politely reclining numerous strongly worded offers to go along with Sirius's scheme, the nervous little Ravenclaw gave them the name of someone who probably would. For a price.

"You can call me Dung," the short, pudgy seventh-year had said when he turned up behind the greenhouses, late and interrupting the start of what could've been a very exhilarating snogging session, "Everyone does anyways." His straggly ginger hair looked like it hadn't been washed in months, his dark eyes puffy and watery and bloodshot. His gaze barely leaving Mina's tits. The Ravenclaw's complexion could only be described as "bumpy with an eighty percent chance of puss."

Though she hadn't even known the lad existed previous to that very moment, Mina instantly decided that Mundungus Fletcher was a creep.

However, he had also proven himself very useful.

Warily eyeing his dose of Polyjuice, Dung muttered, "Remind me why I'm doing this again."

"Because we're giving you an enormous sack of weed," Mina quipped, "Now move it along. I don't want to be late to any of my appointments."

Dung still didn't seem very happy about the situation, but he really must've wanted that weed because the young man finally declared, "Well, bottoms up," and downed the potion.

Mary did the same, gagging slightly even before she began to shrink and morph.

It was a good thing they'd planned ahead, bringing changes of clothes, making the transformation in a deserted bathroom. Mary and Dung were able to redress quickly and then emerge in their borrowed skins.

"So bloody weird," Sirius claimed as he examined his double, poking Dung's suddenly solid chest and stroking his suddenly sleek black hair. Watching Sirius molest himself was either extremely hilarious or extremely disturbing, though which was impossible to determine.

Mina nodded in agreement as she made her own curious inspection of Mary, slowly circling the doppelganger. "Don't slouch," the original ordered, "And quit looking so jumpy. I am _not_ jumpy."

Mary did her best to comply, straightened her spine and squared her shoulders, morphed Mina's features into a slightly forced snarl.

"Not bad," Mina beamed, "Just remember to re-dose every hour. Slughorn's only been having me prepare ingredients every night, so it shouldn't be anything too terrible. If he finally gets drunk enough to pass out, you have to cut off his moustache and bring it back as a trophy."

"I'm not doing that," Mary replied. Suddenly her scowl was a lot more realistic. A lot more Mina-like. Perfect.

"I just can't believe Slughorn actually keeps ready-made Polyjuice handy," Dung said, examining his taller, handsomer reflection in a cracked mirror, "Which cupboard did you say you found it in?" His interest was impossible to mistake for anything but greed.

Original Sirius chuckled, "I didn't. And I won't. Are you all ready? Dung and Mary, you two leave first. Mina and I will follow in a few minutes. We'll meet back here afterward to compare notes." The doubles were nearly out the door when Sirius yelled, "And hands off the merchandise!"

Once they were alone together, Sirius and Mina shared an excited grin. "This is a whole new world," the girl declared, "Just think if we could actually offer a detention-for-hire service."

"I love your devious mind," Sirius answered, closing her into his warm embrace and kissing her soundly.

She really needed to find a way to keep her knees from going weak whenever he touched her. It was embarassing already.

Mina laughed into his mouth, wound her arms around his neck. "Don't have time for this now," she murmured mournfully, "McG was really on the war path."

Sighing as he slowed his attentions, Sirius agreed, "Old girl is at her wits end with us delinquents. We've got to be careful not to send her into an early retirement."

They broke apart but joined hands and set off for the Transfiguration classroom. The professor was already there, had probably spent her entire Sunday in the exact position they found her: grading papers at her enormous desk.

"Mr. Black, Miss Lupin," she said, barely looking up, "Please be seated."

Only two chairs remained, both placed less than a foot from the professor's work surface. Sirius took one chair; Mina tried to take the other but was momentarily sidetracked by Sirius yanking her into his lap.

"In _separate_ seats," McGonogall hissed, abandoning her work in favor of kneading her temples.

Ignoring several very well-placed hands, Mina smacked her shameless admirer and then got herself situated. Waited expectantly.

McGonogall took another few minutes to address them, seemingly gathering her composure. Her strength. "I spent most of the day trying to devise a punishment that might finally stick with you two," she declared, glaring at them through her prim glasses, "However, since I don't believe myself to be quite that cruel or creative, we will instead be using this time to discuss your future careers."

Mina couldn't remember having been so surprised by McGonogall since the woman suddenly turned into a cat during first year.

"Pardon?" Sirius replied, also looking quite shocked and confused.

"All fifth years go through career counseling with their Heads of House," the sly old witch explained, "You will be getting yours out of the way a bit early. Now, have you given any thought to what sort of jobs you'd like to pursue after leaving Hogwarts?"

Sirius... well, he seemed to panic. "Frank said we should be aurors," the young man offered.

"He said we were insane enough to be aurors," Mina corrected, rolling her eyes, "That didn't exactly sell me on it. Besides, why the hell would I want to work for the Ministry? They're a bunch of useless cocksuckers."

Sighing heavily, McGonogall scolded, "Language."

xxXxx

The only thing that career counseling managed to do was piss Mina off. And by the time McGonogall finally released them (no closer to any sort of direction in their professional lives), Sirius had mostly given up any hope of convincing his cranky crush to sneak away for some time alone.

The chance of even a extra-sexy walk back to the common room was thwarted spectacularly by Dung, who had chosen to use the fact that he looked like Sirius to score some alone time of his own with a busty blonde sixth-year.

The sight of two Siriuses made the Hufflepuff faint, and the sight of Sirius's body double making out with another girl made Mina very angry. So angry in fact that she initially seemed unsure of which lad deserved the beating.

(And in those moments, Sirius was afraid for his life.)

But she did come to her senses and went after Dung, who thankfully changed back to himself halfway through his thrashing (not a moment too soon; Sirius didn't like having to watch himself being punched repeatedly by the girl he loved). Mina decided that she'd levitate both the unconscious people to the Hospital Wing while Sirius went along to rendezvous with Mary.

(Sirius wasn't certain that leaving Mina alone with Dung was such a good idea, but the black-haired teen also wasn't interested in arguing with his slightly deranged darling.)

So that was how the lad ended up jogging through the hallways, already a few minutes late, and that was also how he ended up rounding a corner too quickly and crashing hard into Severus Snape.

They fell to the floor in a tangle of flailing limbs and snarled swears. As soon as Sirius managed to get the bony bastard off him and battle down the overwhelming urge to flee screaming into the nearest shower, the young Animagus saw that Snape seemed to have already been roughed up a bit, his enormous nose bloody and his gaunt right eye socket puffy and his bottom lip swollen like a grotesque sausage.

Mina ran into the fray, screeching to a halt near Sirius's head.

Actually, it was Mary, he deduced after a mere moment of observation. She just didn't carry herself with the same confidence that Mina did. Her tie was too neat. Her hand trembled around an unfamiliar wand, her borrowed blue eyes wide and frightened.

As soon as he saw the girl, Snape yelped and scrambled to his feet, took off at a dead sprint.

Not even the real Mina had ever made him yelp, scramble, or dead sprint.

"It-It was an accident!" Mary stammered, hurling Mina's tiny form against Sirius's chest and bursting into tears.

Sirius was never messing with Polyjuice again as long as he lived.

xxXxx

"Ok," Sirius began, keeping a respectful distance while Mary calmed, "Start from the beginning."

Already changed back into her normal body and her normal clothes, Mary hugged herself and leaned against one of the sinks in the deserted bathroom. "Slughorn let me out of detention early," she sniffled, "For being... um... _bizarrely well-behaved_."

Of course.

"Don't tell Mina," the girl went on, dark gaze fixed firmly on the floor.

With a lighthearted chuckle, Sirius declared, "Our little secret. But don't worry. Dung used my body for far more nefarious purposes, so I think Mina will have her hands full with him."

Mary nodded and continued, "I was walking back here and... I don't like the dungeons anyways because they scare me and especially at night, so I guess I was already anxious, but Snape just... he came out of _nowhere_. All of a sudden someone was coming up behind me, and I... I went to some self-defense courses during winter break, so it was just, like, instinct... I accidentally... I... I kicked him."

A pause.

"Down there."

_Don'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tlaughdon'tdon't_-

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Plump cheeks turning crimson, gaze rising solely for the purpose of glaring, Mary snapped, "It's not funny! I didn't mean to! I don't have anything again Snape, even if he is a Dark Arts freak! He's Lily's friend, and I always try to be at least _civil_!"

"Ok," Sirius answered as he quieted his laughing jag, "I'm sorry. Not funny at all. So you... you kicked him-" (the young man concentrated hard to stop an entirely unmanly giggle from bubbling forth) "Then what happened? How'd his face end up such a mess?"

Mary went back to staring at the floor. Softly, she admitted, "He just fell straight onto it. I tried to help him, but he pushed me away. He was in a lot of pain for awhile, so he didn't really do anything else. But then I saw him start going for his wand, and I didn't fancy getting hexed, so I disarmed him."

She still had the extra wand and produced it as a visual aid.

Sirius was having a hell of a time keeping his laughter in check.

"But that just made him angrier," the tall girl declared, "He... called me names. Threatened me. And then he said... he said..." She struggled with the horribleness of the words for several long minutes.

"It's ok, Mary," soothed Sirius, "Whatever he said wasn't meant for you. And, no matter how bad it was, Mina would've come back with ten times worse. Trust me. She lives to top other people's vulgarities."

Mary looked up, her dark eyes glassy and terrified. Vaguely accusing... "He said _tell your werewolf brother to watch his back_," the girl whispered, "_A secret that big won't stay secret for long_."

Sirius found himself battling down an entirely new set of violent emotions. Unable to process the devastating information, he asked, "Then what?"

Blushing again, Mary murmured, "Well... I sort of... he just made me so _mad_... and I thought about what Mina would do... I told him that he had five seconds to start running because if I caught him, I was going to do far worse than kick his pathetic excuse for bollocks... I guess because he thought I was Mina he thought I really would... I'd never seen Snape move so fast before..."

xxxxxxxxxx

DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! Hope that was satisfactory to you all and has inspired some neato reviews to be sent my way :)


	17. Distractions

Part 17 – Distractions

Never play quidditch while distracted.

It was a good rule. Simple. Usually easy to follow. Very practical, because there was no situation in which a person should be flying through the air with killer iron balls and thinking about anything else.

"Ow," Sirius groaned, flat on his back and blinking hazily up at the clear morning sky, at the figures zipping down toward him. He couldn't remember or pinpoint where he'd been hit, his entire body screaming in agony.

Damn Snivellus. Nosy big-nosed bastard just had to figure out Remus's secret, had to spill that secret to Mary, had to make Sirius fret about it instead of paying attention during practice...

Mary, first to arrive, crouched beside the lad and kindly inquired, "Are you alright?"

Sirius would've answered, but his lungs wouldn't cooperate.

"Merlin's mangy merkin," Mina grumbled as she fell to her knees at the teen's side, "What the bloody hell did you do that for?" She waved her wand, and immediately Sirius could breathe again.

With a hoarse cough, the black-haired Animagus declared, "Came outta nowhere."

Mina rolled her eyes. "It did not, you arse-licker," the girl said, popping Sirius's shoulder back into its socket without so much as a warning, "I yelled three times that the bludger was heading at you. You just weren't listening."

Sirius concentrated on staying conscious as his tormentor jabbed her wand into his swollen joint and completely botched the healing spell, sending a searing jolt all the way to his fingertips.

"Sunny! Stop!" James scolded frantically, "You can't practice spells on him now! We need him alive for the game on Saturday!"

Such compassion.

Delwyn Jones conjured a stretcher. Zane Creevy gently levitated Sirius's body onto it. Gerald Walker looked like he might cry, the tiny ginger seeker trying twice to hold Sirius's hand.

However, that honor was reserved for Mina. She elbowed Walker out of the way and snatched Sirius's hand, squeezed viciously but didn't let go.

xxXxx

If you're going to play quidditch while distracted, then it's best to do so in the morning. Monday morning if at all possible.

The hours of required healing are far more bearable when they must be undertaken in lieu of class. Really, injuring one's self on Monday morning is like scoring a three-day weekend.

Sirius was a genius.

"You're an idiot," Mina snapped when she visited during lunch. The girl sat heavily on the edge of his cot and glared like only she could.

With a grin, Sirius replied, "But I'm _your_ idiot."

Her cheeks glowed pink. But the blush didn't stop her from smacking his recently healed ribs or from growling, "Just quit daydreaming during practice. Prongs chewed me out for half an hour about distracting you, and I'm going to have to break his legs if he ever uses the term _feminine wiles_ in my presence again."

Sirius hadn't bothered to correct the assumption that it had been thoughts of Mina which kept him from noticing the inbound bludger.

Because if he told anyone the real reason, that he was trying to decide what to do about Snape, then it was very possible that Mina would take the decision out of his hands by immediately tracking down and murdering the stupid Slytherin. Without hesitation or guilt.

Sirius could handle Snape. He still had the greaseball's wand for leverage. And he'd sent the slimy git a letter that morning, offering to meet and return it unharmed... hopefully he'd be able to convince Snape to keep quiet, though Sirius was still a bit fuzzy on the how...

"Maybe you should've thought of that before being so distractingly sexy," he declared, lacing his long fingers together with Mina's slim ones.

She rolled her eyes at him but didn't pull away. Almost smiled even.

Sirius saw his chance and took it. "So," he said, "I've been thinking-"

"The nurse said not to strain yourself."

"Ha bloody ha," Sirius answered. He yanked the girl down into the cot with him, tickling her despite the pain the exertion caused to his still-tender injuries. When they'd finally relaxed against each other, the young man continued, "Anyways, my near-death experience has prompted me to take a long, hard look at my life. I decided that if I would've died this morning, then I would've died unfulfilled because I never got the chance to be your boyfriend."

Mina looked at him like he'd gone mad, like she didn't know what he was talking about even as the color crept back into her cheeks.

"So," Sirius continued, staring deep into his beloved's cool blue eyes, tucking an unruly shock of hair behind her adorable ear, "How about it? Help me die happy someday?"

She bit her lip, squirmed distractingly and fiddled with one of the lad's shirt buttons. After a torturous wait, Mina finally stated, "That was either really sweet or really, _really_ morbid."

Sirius grinned, kissed her slowly and replied, "I've got the heart of a poet. You should know since you've had my heart for years."

Mina hit him, buried her face against his chest and muttered, "Fine, I'll be your girlfriend. Just shut up already, you gooey bastard."

Not exactly the wording Sirius had been looking for, but it was a win and he took it gleefully. He rolled his brand new girlfriend underneath himself and proceeded to demonstrate some of the perks of her new title.

Until someone drenched them with cold water.

Tearing his focus away from Mina's lovely lips, Sirius searched for the perpetrator. He'd expected McGonogall again but instead found Remus standing over them and glaring.

"Fucking shit, Moony," Mina complained, sitting up, wringing out her hair, "Don't take it out on us that Mac isn't speaking to you."

Sirius mentally groaned; that issue would also need his attention. The dark-haired keeper hadn't reacted well to the news of her crush's condition, but at least she'd agreed to keep her mouth shut until Sirius figured out what to do (because it was going to be difficult to explain how Mary had found out without stating that Snape knew as well, and if Sirius could secure the Slytherin's silence first, then it would go a long way in keeping Mina from executing anyone.)

But all worry fled Sirius's mind in an instant when he saw that Mina's white blouse had gone transparent.

_Lace_, his brain helpfully supplied as his jaw fell stupidly open, _Dear Merlin, red lace..._

Nostrils flaring, Remus spelled his twin (and only his twin) dry and insisted, "It has nothing to do with Mary. I just don't think watching my best friend eat my sister's face would have a positive effect on my appetite." He stowed his wand before continuing, "Speaking of which, can we leave? Lunch will be over soon."

"Whatever," Mina grumbled as she stood. She paused for a moment then, with a wicked smirk, turned back around and stuck her tongue down Sirius's throat.

Sirius would've enjoyed the treat far more had Remus not been watching and seething and likely plotting a hasty castration with a rusty spoon. "Godric, woman," Sirius panted once she'd finally released him from the heart-stopping kiss, "I've got to share a dorm with him!"

"Bye," the girl murmured. She stole one more taste of Sirius's lips before bouncing away with an evil cackle.

And leaving her poor boyfriend all alone with a cranky werewolf...

xxXxx

"Pssst. Mac. Hey, Mac."

Mina beaned her friend with a jellybean, but the dark-haired keeper continued to ignore her.

Mina did not like being ignored. "_Mac_," she hissed, "I swear, next thing I have to throw at your head is going to be on fire."

The girl turned and glared briefly before going back to being attentive and studious and all that nonsense, listening to Slughorn yammer on about properties of a potion they wouldn't even be making until the following week.

Huffing, Mina slumped back into her seat and scribbled out a note:

_Dear Loser,_

_How about getting the stick out of your enormous arse and talking to my magnificent twin?_

She folded the parchment into an airplane and, with a little magic, sent it flying a lap around the girl's head and then onto her desk.

In just a few moments, Mary was tossing back her wadded up answer:

_Dear Psycho,_

_How about staying out of it?_

To that Mina also had a reply:

_Dear Loser,_

_I'm not going to be able to properly snog my boyfriend if my brother isn't sufficiently distracted. Help me out._

After reading the remark, Mary once again turned and glared. Her retort came swiftly and with a bit more force than Mina thought necessary:

_Dear Psycho, _

_Are you actually trying to pimp me out to your brother? That's sick._

Mina chuckled and wrote back:

_Dear Loser,_

_I was only suggesting some heated chess games. You have a dirty mind. _

Mina could see the back of Mary's neck turning pink as the taller girl read the note and jotted down one last remark:

_Dear Psycho,_

_Just leave me alone. I currently have no interest in talking to any Lupins._

Well. Someone was in a mood. Mina resolved to speak with her brother about his behavior. It just wouldn't do to have him upsetting her only female friend right when Mina actually might have use for girl talk.

She flicked another jellybean at Mary and then lost interest, glancing around in search of alternate forms of entertainment.

Snape was glaring at her from the other side of the room.

Not that it was particularly unusual to find Snape glaring. He was obsessed with the Marauders, and glaring seemed to be his default expression anyways. However, on that particular occasion, the boy's beady, slightly bruised black gaze held such hatred and fire that Mina had to mentally congratulate herself on whatever she'd done to earn it.

Not that she had any idea what she'd done... as far as the slim teen could recall, she hadn't so much as tripped Snape in passing for over a week.

Oh well. Mina discretely flipped him off and then busied herself with other things, mostly writing rude words on her desk until Remus finally confiscated her quill.

But by that time, the lesson was over. And although Slughorn held her back for a moment to inform the girl that he wouldn't be able to cover her detentions that week, that she should instead report to Hagrid for a "special project" that would probably result in the loss of a limb, Mina remained in rather high spirits.

No one waited for her, which also wasn't terribly surprising. Remus and Mary were cross. James had very likely retreated to the quidditch pitch to obsess about Saturday's game against Hufflepuff. And who the hell knew what became of Peter.

Mina headed to the Hospital Wing to check on her boyfriend.

It was still weird, the terminology as well as the idea behind it. Mina wasn't quite sure how to be someone's girlfriend...

She rounded the corner and discovered that Sirius's flock of admirers was back, slutting around outside the door.

"Attention assorted skanks and whores," Mina announced, her sudden arrival likely resulting in more than a few pairs of soiled knickers, "Those of you who enjoy full use of your easily parted legs should disperse immediately and _stay the hell away from my boyfriend_."

The hallway was empty in five seconds. Flat.

Mina grinned. Maybe the whole girlfriend thing wouldn't be so difficult after all...

xxXxx

The nurse had a speech prepared, the jist of which was that she strongly preferred that the Marauders stay out of her sight for the remainder of the term.

Sitting through the thinly veiled threat was a bit annoying, but, since it was his ticket out of the Hospital Wing, Sirius listened with as much attention as he could force.

Then he was free. He had Mina, and they had a bit over an hour before dinner. Sirius intended to make the best of that time.

Mina suggested a walk around the lake and laughed meanly when Sirius shuddered at the very thought. (Damn muggles and their scary shark movies.) But, having gotten the reaction she desired from her teasing, the girl was subsequently far more open to her companion's ideas.

And that was how they ended up in the kitchens, enjoying some pre-dinner desserts and securing enough snacks to last them both through their separate detentions.

"Bet Hagrid's will at least be interesting," Mina boasted, "Think of me fondly while you're polishing Giles's balls."

Sirius laughed, flicked a spoonful of ice cream at the girl and countered, "Dung said he got the ball polishing done last night... he was also very impressed with our weed and wants to buy some more."

Though she obviously hadn't forgiven the groddy Ravenclaw for joyriding Sirius's form, Mina shrugged and replied, "I suppose. Merlin knows we can't smoke it all ourselves."

"That sounds like a challenge," answered Sirius.

Mina giggled, musing, "Give us something to do after the OWLs... and it would certainly annoy the hell out of Moony."

Again, Sirius saw his opening and took it. "Speaking of after the OWLs," he began casually, "What are you thinking for summer?"

"I don't know," the sandy-haired she-wolf answered, unbelievably and obliviously tempting as she sucked a smear of chocolate frosting off her index finger, "Moony and I need to line up responsible adult supervision or we'll end up having to spend our vacation with Dumbledore... and I'm not sure I even want to find out what that would mean."

"It sounds... enlightening," Sirius remarked. He gave the thought another moment to circulate before announcing, "Well, I'm going to talk to Andromeda about staying with her again. Maybe we could finally have that Marauder campout."

A slow, surprisingly sweet smile spread across the girl's pretty face.

Apparently a future to look forward to could do that to a person.

xxXxx

"You're shitting me, right?" Mina complained, "This is cruel and unusual."

Arms folded and hip cocked peevishly, Evans replied, "I'm not exactly thrilled either, Lupin."

Hagrid chose that moment to exit his hut, effectively ending the exchange of unpleasantries. The enormous man grinned warmly at the girls and greeted, "Evenin. You two again?"

"Only if it's too late to throw myself at Filch's mercy," Mina bit back.

Chuckling, Hagrid led them around the side of his home. As he gathered an enormous crossbow and a slobbery St. Bernard, the bearded man declared, "Now, now, don' be like that. Got somethin real special tonight."

They had only taken a few steps into the dark forest before the curiosity became too much to bear. "So," Mina sing-songed, "What'd Little Miss Perfect Prefect do to land in detention?"

Evans scowled angrily, probably at herself as much as at Mina, and grumbled, "It was a misunderstanding."

"Right," Mina sniggered, "Mine, too. It all started when this gobby fire-crotch walked into my prank-"

"SHUT UP!" Evans shrieked.

Merlin, the whole school was moody.

"_Quiet_," Hagrid growled, his pace slowing as they came to a clearing. There was a small, hastily constructed paddock. And at the far end of that paddock was a fat unicorn, lying on its side and looking more like a beached walrus than a creature of grace and light.

"Neato," Mina chirped.

Lily gave the reaction a funny look but ultimately turned back to Hagrid, inquiring, "Is it sick?"

"Broken ankle," the gamekeeper replied, gazing lovingly on the animal, "'ad a poacher in the forest last month. Nasty bugger got the beauty with a spring trap. But a real nice lady centaur helped me save 'er and set 'er leg, and she's been healin up jus fine. Should be ready to leave in a few weeks."

"So... we're here to... clean the pen?" Mina guessed. She was no stranger to shoveling shit.

Hagrid shook his head, scratched his dark mess of beard. "I think tonight'll be the night she has 'er baby," he declared, proud and eager, "But she won' let me near 'er. They don' like men, ya see. I couldn't get in touch with the centaurs, and I jus thought she should 'ave someone sit with her, be there in case she needs help."

"Sure," Mina replied, already vaulting the low fence, "Piece of cake."

xxXxx

They both showed up in the empty classroom alone, eyed each other warily for several long minutes before either tried to speak.

"I want my wand," Snape hissed. His skeletal frame radiated fury, with a hint of indignant, instinctive fear.

Nodding, Sirius produced the item and declared, "I've got something to say first. Listen all the way through, and then I'll give it back."

Snape sneered in disgust, murmuring, "Going to appeal to my compassion not to out the werewolf? Don't waste your breath."

"Don't be silly, Snivelly," answered Sirius, "I know Slytherin's don't have compassion for warm-blooded creatures. There's just a few details you should know before you decide to go off and get yourself killed."

Still quite unhappy, the greasy-haired git snapped, "You have two minutes. Then I get some friends involved."

Sirius sighed heavily. He'd spent nearly all his time in the Hospital Wing and detention trying to come up with what to say. "Mina wasn't the one who hit you," he began, "Not this time at least. I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't her. It was an accident, and the person who did it said to tell you that you startled her and that she's sorry."

Obviously Snape hadn't been expecting anything close to a sincere apology, even secondhand. His pale face remained angry and guarded, his snide mouth shut.

"As for your _accusation_," Sirius continued, "It's absurd. And if the real Mina hears you making it, then you can be damn sure that you won't survive to make it again. And that's not a threat. That's just what'll happen. We both know that she's less than rational when it comes to people messing with her brother, and I don't want her to end up in Azkaban over a shit stain like you."

Snape bristled, but he at least appeared to be giving the information careful consideration. Finally, he snarled, "Is that it?"

"I guess," Sirius answered, "Just think about it, ya? There's no reason to be starting rumors and getting your arse kicked when you don't have a shred of proof." There wasn't anything more to be done. And although trusting in Snape's common sense and self-preservation was strange, the young Animagus did so. He set the wand on a desk and exited before Snape could get his hands on it.

A quick look at a clock and at the Map revealed the time to be just after midnight and Mina to be nowhere on the grounds. But if she'd been off in the forest, then Sirius reasoned that she must be on her way back.

He sat just outside the front doors, smoking lazily for over an hour before he spotted a bright silver light heading his way.

xxXxx

"Son of a motherfucking, cock-sucking whore! I hate you, Hagrid! I hope you drown in flaming shit! I hope a dozen Death Eaters violate your smoldering corpse!"

The enormous man had no response, apparently so disturbed by the litany of swears that he'd been rendered speechless.

Well, fuck him. He wasn't the one with his arm jammed halfway up a unicorn's vagina.

It was probably Mina's own fault. The detention should've been an easy one, but saying as much had doomed the experience. Rather than sitting idly by and comforting Buttercup (Hagrid's absurd name for the pregnant beast), Mina had found herself the only thing standing between life and death for the unicorn and her foal.

She'd heard the term "breech birth" once or twice before; Mina was well-read, and Kettleburn had mentioned the idea in Care of Magical Creatures. Of course, Mina never thought she'd be on the receiving end of a breech unicorn.

The foal was coming out back legs first, which could be dangerous but in itself still should've been something the mare could handle without intervention. Unfortunately, the foal also had those back legs strangely contorted and had gotten itself stuck in its mother's birth canal.

Since Hagrid couldn't approach, Evans fainted squeamishly at the first sign of silvery birth fluid, and the lady centaur still hadn't shown her useless arse, the task of saving Buttercup and child fell to Mina.

"FUUUUUUUUUCK!" the girl complained, having located the small rubbery hooves by feeling around the squishy orifice for far longer than was tolerable. With just a little twist, the feet turned and straightened and shot out, along with another gush of the warm, watery, pearlescent gunk already drenching the whole front of Mina's uniform and making her gleam in the light of the waning moon.

She was going to spend the next three days in the shower, and Merlin help anyone who tried to stop her.

"You're doin great!" Hagrid called from a safe distance, "Pull on the legs a bit to help 'er out!"

Mina did so, noticing that the foal was not a her when the tail and hips came just a few moments later. With some more tugging and twisting, the rest of the sticky golden infant slid into the world in under ten minutes. After the hours of waiting, the actual process was rather anticlimactic.

Collapsing to the ground along with the resting unicorns, Mina closed her eyes and tried to catch her breath. She could suddenly feel the chill of the February air, her body shivering in sweat and soaked clothes and sudden exhaustion.

She had no idea how long she laid like that before Buttercup began nuzzling her face. And although Mina had never felt more disgusting in her life, she couldn't help smiling at the ticklish sensation. She sat up just in time to watch the foal struggle to his feet and take his first shaky steps. He was a beautiful animal.

Hagrid was so happy that he was in tears, seizing Mina into a bone-crushing hug before she could even climb all the way over the fence. "You did so great," he blubbered, "You saved 'em! You saved 'em both!"

"Ya, well," Mina wheezed, choking on a mouthful of beard, "Mention that to Dumbledore next time you see him. Maybe he'll shave some time off my sentence."

Evans gave a woozy smile, teasing, "Not like it would matter. You'd just get right back into trouble."

Mina was too tired to banter. They stayed for awhile longer, long after the detention was technically over, watching the bright white mother and golden child bond. The sight was so... pure. Captivating. Evans suggested that the foal be named Sailor in honor of the relentless swearing that had colored his birth. Surprisingly, Mina kind of liked the idea.

When Hagrid finally did send the girls back to the castle (with the promise that they could visit Buttercup and Sailor whenever they liked), Mina remembered the gross mess now dried on her body. _Scourgify_ was useless. As soon as they emerged from the forest and into direct moonlight, the glowing got so intense that it actually hurt Mina's eyes.

Sirius met them halfway up the hill and burst into laughter.

"Tosser," Mina grumbled, not allowing herself to be halted or touched.

"Sorry," her idiot boyfriend giggled as he fell into step, "What happened?"

Evans gave a short version that thankfully omitted the part about where most of Mina's right arm had been inserted.

Unfortunately, there was no disguising what Mina was covered in or where it had come from. "So that's..." Sirius inquired.

Mina nodded mutely.

He pulled a face, muttering, "Gross."

"Some boyfriend you are," answered Mina.

They ditched Evans at the fifth floor, breaking off toward the prefects' bathroom. The actual prefect frowned at them but didn't scold. At times she seemed to have completely given up hope of making the Marauders behave.

Soon Mina was stripped and rinsed and floating in a sea of strawberry bubbles. Once the girl was sure that Sirius wouldn't be able to see what she wasn't wearing beneath them, she declared, "Alright. You can turn around."

The handsome lad did so quite happily, shucking his shirt and rolling up his trousers, sighing sweetly as he dangled his bare feet into the steaming water.

He grinned at her like an absolute fucking loon.

"What?" Mina demanded irritably.

Sirius remained undeterred, humming, "Nothing... just thinking about how pretty are."

She snorted, dunked her hair, chuckled, "Shut up and roll me one. I've had a traumatic evening."

"You think you had it bad," Sirius replied, nimble fingers assembling the joint with hypnotic ease, "I found Professor Giles's porn stash."

"You did not!" Mina giggled. She swam over to the ledge beside him, sitting and hugging her knees.

Sirius nodded, "I did. The old bastard is far kinkier than he looks. There was some stuff in there that even I'd never heard of before."

Mina blushed. The fact that Sirius was far more _experienced_ than she was had never been a secret. But that didn't mean it didn't make her nervous at times. She knew that fears of inadequacy or infidelity were silly, but that didn't stop the girl from having them, especially so soon after seeing so many of his past conquests all lined up. And there was also the lad's criminally short attention span to worry about... "So what'd you do with it?" she inquired, tilting her head back and inhaling deeply when her boyfriend held the joint to her mouth.

"Left it where it was, of course," he replied impishly, "I think I'll be having a vision next class period. Something about goblins with whips in his bottom drawer. Should be tremendous fun."

Mina shook her head at him, laughed and tried to forget her concerns. Unfortunately, they wouldn't go away. And the more silence that passed, the more determined she was to have them addressed. "I'm not going to shag you," the girl finally declared. After a brief thought, she added, "Well, maybe eventually, but not right away. And probably not soon. You know that, ya?"

Sirius took the announcement much better than expected, answering, "I'm in no rush, love." He paused a second to tie back his long silken hair, the joint dangling from his lips as he continued, "Just as long as you know that you're stuck with me forever."

"Forever is a long time," Mina joked, blatantly ogling the lad's flawless bare chest.

With a loving smile and a hazy puff of smoke, Sirius replied, "Not nearly long enough."

xxXxx

"C'mon," Mina begged, yanking hard on her brother's sleeve as he did his best to ignore her, "I know you know. Just tell me already."

Remus sighed, obviously annoyed about much more than a bit of early-morning pestering. "Why do you care anyways?" he muttered, tired and grouchy from having stayed up half the night waiting for his sister to return to the Tower. (The other half he spent glaring at Sirius, ensuring that Sirius didn't sleep much either.)

"Because," Mina replied, "It's not every day that Little Miss Perfect Prefect gets a detention, especially one that had nothing to do with me. I bet it's a hilarious story."

"I'm sure my darling Lily-flower was wrongly accused," James insisted, "Possibly as a result of some dastardly conspiracy perpetrated by haters of beauty and wit." He chomped a piece of toast, nodding adamantly in agreement with himself.

Mina frisbeed a pancake right into his face, causing the lad to fall backward off the bench with a startled squeal. She turned back to her brother and whined, "Moon-_y_."

Though he sighed again in absolute exasperation, Remus finally put down his morning reading material and quietly explained, "Yesterday afternoon, she caught Snape trying to sneak a pretty nasty book out of the Restricted Section."

_Shit_, thought Sirius, _Probably something he planned to use on me... must remember to thank Evans for being nosy and uptight... _

"Lily took it away from him," Remus continued, "But before she could put it back, Madame Pince showed up and caught her. Since Snape's inappropriate interest in the Dark Arts has earned him a rather unkind reputation, Lily thought that he'd get a far worse punishment, so she just took the blame. She's going to be in detention through the end of the week, and I'll be covering her rounds."

"They're both morons," Mina declared, pouting quite cutely, "And that's not hilarious at all... though I guess it's good that I didn't end up having detention with Snivellus."

Rolling his eyes, Remus scolded, "You lot should think about being nicer to Snape. Maybe if people didn't pick on him so much, he wouldn't spend so much of his time researching ways to hurt them."

"Ya, right," Sirius scoffed, "I think you're putting the ashwinder before the egg there, mate."

Remus glared at him. Then he apparently (once again) deemed his friends hopeless and returned to his breakfast and novel.

Sirius told himself that he was supposed to be looking out for Snape, but instead the lad became hopelessly distracted by Mina, the only person in the world who could be utterly captivating while doing nothing at all.

A soppy sigh alerted the girl to the attention, and she also glared. Kicked Sirius hard in the shin.

_Right. Must focus... here, Snivelly, Snivelly..._

Even though serpents didn't typically come when called, Snape chose that moment to enter the Great Hall. He was trailing after Lily and had probably been begging her forgiveness. However, as soon as he came within sight of his Blood-obsessed cronies, he ignored the redhead completely.

It was impossible not to notice the look of sorrow and dejection and disappointment and frustrated anger on Evans's face as she chose a seat all alone at the far end of the Gryffindor table.

But worrying about Evans was James's department, so Sirius went back to his own mission.

Snape briefly caught his gaze from across the room, stare caustic but no more than usual. He sat down with his pack of imbeciles. Avery and Wilkes and Rosier and a few others.

Regulus said something that had them all in haughty chortles.

But there was nothing remarkable about the atmosphere at the evilest of tables, certainly nothing to indicate that they had a juicy and damaging bit of gossip on which to gorge.

Maybe Snape had actually kept quiet.

Sirius hoped so but had a hard time believing that he could possibly be so lucky... well, there was still Mary left to deal with...

xxXxx

"I thought you were alright about me and Padfoot," Mina murmured, resting her head on her brother's shoulder.

Most of their serious chats took place in the library. Not only were they the only two Marauders to voluntarily frequent the location, but they could also count on relative quiet and privacy.

Remus sighed, penned a few more sentences of his Charms homework and then scratched them all out. "I was," he said with a frown, "I am. I mean... I don't know."

She gave him a moment to collect his thoughts.

"You're my little sister," the sandy-haired prefect explained.

Mina rolled her eyes, teasing, "By three minutes. Probably only because I let you go first. And let's face it, I'm still the tougher twin."

Smirking, Remus countered, "Let's not confuse 'tougher' with 'bitchier'."

"Oi!" Mina snickered as she punched him lightly in the arm, "Watch it! I'll sick my boyfriend on you!"

Remus groaned and smacked his head against the desk.

Their secluded alcove was silent for awhile. Finally, Mina hesitantly inquired, "Is it the fact that I'm dating or the fact that I'm dating Sirius?"

"Both," her brother muttered. He sat up and added, "Really. I imagined what I'd feel like if you started dating Ernest Macmillan-"

"He's _gay_!"

Blushing, Remus continued, "Exactly. Even seeing you with a bloke who'd never want to touch you bothers me for some reason. But then with Sirius... I know exactly what he was up to with those other girls our first couple years. He would _not_ shut up about it. And the thought of him doing any of that with you..."

The poor lad suddenly looked like he might be sick.

"We're growing up, Moony," argued Mina, "It's going to happen one way or another. D'ya think I like imagining what you might be getting up to with Mac? Hell no. But I don't want you to end up a bloody monk either."

"Ya," he said, throwing his arm around the girl for a quick hug that turned into an extended cuddle, "Don't worry about me, ok? I know Padfoot is going to treat you right, so I'll find some way to wrap my head around the whole situation. For now, just tell him not to piss me off. I've been wanting to strangle him a lot more often than usual, and I'm afraid my control might be slipping."

Mina giggled, relaxing into her brother's warm embrace. "Anyways," she hummed, "As long as we're sorting relationship drama, what's up with you and Mac?"

Remus shrugged. "I talked to her after breakfast and apologized for how our date went. She said she understood, but... it's weird. It's like she doesn't look at me the same. I didn't think I'd acted badly enough to change her whole opinion of me."

"Hmm," Mina commented, "Well, I don't have any insight on that front, but I'll try my best to get to the bottom of it..."

xxXxx

The second night of detention with Hagrid did involve cleaning the unicorn paddock. Mina figured it would get there eventually, and she really didn't mind. She still expected to emerge from the activity ten times cleaner than she had from the previous evening.

And Sailor, barely a day old, made the work rather entertaining. The foal was mischievous, not quite steady on his brand new legs but unwilling to let a few tumbles stop him from prancing in circles around his midwife, nipping at her bum when she bent over, trying to get her to _play_.

"Cheeky runt," Mina giggled, chasing and easily capturing the creature, nuzzling his little head. She could feel the bony knot between his eyes where his horn would grow shortly after he turned two and his coat turned silver. He wouldn't be glowingly white like his tranquil mother until he was at least seven.

And, in the meantime, Sailor was lanky and golden and a whole hell of a lot of trouble.

"You're good with animals," Evans observed, momentarily leaning against her shovel, wiping sweat from her pale brow.

Mina shrugged, scratched Sailor's ears and, with a light slap on his haunches, sent him off for another few galloping laps of the pen. "Most animals aren't insufferable bastards," she remarked, "Makes them a bit easier to get along with."

Evans rolled her eyes but chose not to comment.

The redhead kept watching though, and Mina couldn't help being acutely aware even as she pretended not notice. Evans was probably just miffed because Mina was messing around with Sailor instead of working. But who cared? It wasn't like Hagrid had stuck around to supervise.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question?" Evans questioned.

Mina shrugged again, quipping, "Can't guarantee I'll answer, but go for it."

Evans huffed, "What's the deal with Potter? He's only trying to annoy me, right?"

"Afraid not," replied Mina. She shook her head just thinking about her friend's stupid crush, adding, "For some ridiculous reason, the poor sod fancies himself in love with you. And not that I want you sinking your claws into my friends, but James is an absolute sweetheart. Any girl would be lucky to have him."

Evans snorted and rolled her eyes and very nearly got herself slapped.

But before Mina could indulge in the violence, she thought she heard something beyond the clearing. She listened closely (cheating a bit by calling upon her wolf senses) and confirmed that it wasn't in her imagination. The sound was still a short ways off, but it was unmistakable: hoof beats.

"What're you-"

"Shhh!"

After another moment of silence, it was clear that Evans had heard the noise as well. Except for grabbing their wands, the girls stood absolutely still.

Mina wasn't sure whether to be relieved or frightened when a pair of centaurs stepped out of the trees.

The unabashedly bare-chested female stood tall and proud, statuesque, her sharp, solemn face held high. Her sleek hair hung past her bellybutton and was almost the same color as her horse-half, a deep bronze that shined even in the dark.

Hiding slightly behind her haunches, the young male was the same color but much lighter. More of a creamy peach. He also appeared considerably more skittish, fiddling with the strap of a small satchel slung across his torso. He was smaller, only coming up to the female's solid shoulders but still a few heads taller than either of the girls. He was spindly and lanky, almost like Sailor. Except his cool blue eyes and frightened face, even the way he wore his peachy-blonde hair pulled back into a messy ponytail suggested that he was a bit older. A teenager, if Mina had to guess, but she didn't have any expertise on judging centaur age.

"About time," said Mina, stowing her wand, "You owe me a new pair of stolen trousers."

"I must speak with Hagrid," the tall female stated simply. Her voice was much older than her strong, agile body suggested.

Lily got over her momentary shock and answered, "He should be in his hut."

The tall female trotted in that direction, pinning the young male in place with her withering blue stare.

"Trousers!" Mina shouted after her.

"Merlin's sake," Evans complained, whispering in an attempt to keep the awkward boy (colt? stallion?) in their midst from overhearing, "Do you have any sense at all? You can't speak to them like that! They'll get offended!"

Chuckling, Mina responded, "Relax, ginger. I'm an equal-opportunity offender." She turned to the male centaur and loudly demanded, "Hey, you. Ponyboy. What's the other one want with Hagrid?"

The creature shuffled in place, adjusted his clearly handmade bag nervously. "It is not my place to say," he murmured.

Mina rolled her eyes, complaining, "Ugh. Whatever. Will it take awhile, you think?"

He nodded. "There is... much to discuss."

"Brill," the girl replied. She abandoned her shovel, hopped up onto the fence, and fished out a joint.

"What are you doing?" Evans shrieked. She tried to snatch the item away but wasn't quite quick enough.

What she did manage to do was knock Mina backwards off the fence.

And straight into the centaur's arms.

"Bloody hell, Evans," she complained, struggling to right herself as the centaur tried awkwardly to help and got himself a palm full of boob for the trouble. "Watch those hands, Ponyboy!" the girl bellowed, "Interspecies groping is not allowed!"

"I apologize," he murmured, blushing all the way down to his bare chest. Oh ya, definitely a teenager. After carefully setting her back onto her feet, he inquired, "Are you injured?"

Mina laughed, shook her head. "Think I'll live," she declared, deciding to ignore Evans's fury and disapproval in favor of introducing herself to the centaur. "So what do they call you, Ponyboy?" she asked brightly.

Still beet red, unable to make eye contact, the centaur replied, "I am Firenze." He seemed to remember his manners and swept into the equine equivalent of a bow, politely adding, "Very pleased to meet you."

"Likewise," the girl replied. After restoring her joint to its proper place between her lips and lighting it with a mocking wink to Evans, she declared, "I'm Mina. That's Ginger over there. Say hi, Ginger."

Back to ignoring Mina's taunts, the redhead extended her hand across the fence and corrected, "My name is _Lily_. And I'm pleased to meet you as well. Don't mind Mina. She really shouldn't be allowed out in public."

Firenze was obviously confused and overwhelmed but still shook the redhead's hand and valiantly replied, "Um... yes... may I assist you in your work?"

"Oh, no thank you," Evans said, "We're actually being punished, so I don't think-"

"Get off your high horse, Evans," interrupted Mina. She grimaced at herself before continuing, "Whoa. Bad pun. Unintentional. But anyways, let him help if he wants. We'll get through this faster and have more time to play with Sailor. Besides, I'm incapable of learning my lesson, and you're innocent, so it's not like either of us is getting anything out of the punishment. Unless shoveling unicorn shit really is what you need to stop being nice to that pathetic Slytherin stalker of yours."

Evans stared at her, mouth open in shock. Then she glared. "Pretty much every syllable of that was incredibly rude," said the redhead, "Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or is it just whatever cruel nonsense rushes through that evil little brain?"

"Of course I listen to myself when I speak," Mina joked back, "I am a bloody wordsmith. A poet, if you will. It's other people's uninspired nonsense that gets tuned out." She grinned, letting the thick gray smoke bleed between her teeth out into the chilly night.

The stubborn bint glared for a few more moments before turning back to Firenze and politely stating, "Thank you for the offer, but we should be doing our own work. I believe Mina has some snacks in her bag, so please help yourself-"

"No!" Mina cried. At a look of alarm from Evans, the girl explained, "It's all chocolate. Chocolate can kill horses. Wouldn't that be the same for centaurs?"

Suddenly stricken with uncharacteristic confusion, Evans replied, "I... I don't know."

Both girls looked to Firenze, who was blushing again, shuffling in place like he desperately wanted to flee. "I have never had this _chocolate_ before," he said, "Perhaps I should not, if it is dangerous."

"Good thinking," Mina agreed. She hopped back over the fence and fetched her shovel, remarking, "I'll ask Kettleburn on Friday if centaurs can eat chocolate... or maybe Evans should ask him. The old bastard is still blaming me for that kneazle bite last year..."

xxXxx

Firenze, it seemed, had seen seventeen summers. And his mother had decided that it was time for him to be useful.

Unsurprisingly, the centaur elders had not taken kindly to news that Hagrid was keeping a unicorn and her foal. The centaurs liked Hagrid in general, respected him and appreciated that he did a good job protecting the forest; however, they didn't trust any human enough to leave vulnerable unicorns in his care, and the little trust they had in Hagrid certainly wasn't enough to prevent them from being wary of others coming to steal the defenseless animals away.

Firenze's mother, Elda, thought the suspicion was ridiculous but still volunteered her son to guard the unicorns until they could be released. It wouldn't be long, she reassured the frightened boy (colt? stallion?) when she bade him goodbye with a short but tender hug.

"You should come up to the castle tomorrow," Mina offered, finding herself growing fond of the awkward teenage centaur, his timid sociability and fascinating exoticness, "I'll show you around."

Blue eyes growing wide, Firenze shook his head and insisted, "I must stay on guard."

Mina chuckled and argued, "C'mon. It'll just be for an hour or so. And I'm sure Hagrid will be with Buttercup and Sailor the whole time you're gone. Won't you, Hagrid?"

The enormous man still seemed a bit hurt by Elda's message, but he still spared Mina a watery smile. "Don' pester 'im," Hagrid scolded, "Firenze's not here on holiday... but, I guess, if he wants to... I mean, as long as no one tells his mum..."

"Then it's settled," Mina declared, "I get out of class at three forty-five, so I can be down here to get you around four."

"_We'll_ be here," Evans corrected peevishly.

Torn between his important duties and an obvious curiosity, Firenze stammered, "I... I suppose. Thank you."

"Alright then," Hagrid stated, trying and failing to smooth his fluffy beard, "I need to get Firenze settled, and you girls should be gettin back to the castle. See ya tomorrow."

"Later, Hagri-gator," chuckled Mina. She waited until she was out of sight beyond the trees before lighting another joint. Her head was already swimming, her mood downright giddy, but one more wouldn't hurt.

Jogging along at her side, Evans scowled disapprovingly and announced, "You won't be getting Firenze involved in any of your schemes. And if this is some kind of joke on the poor creature-"

"I am capable of being pleasant," Mina argued brightly, "Just because you're not worth the effort doesn't mean it never happens. Lighten up."

The redhead didn't seem entirely convinced that Mina's offer was on the level (even though it totally was; Firenze was interesting, and Mina had never met a centaur before). Their walk back was a silent one.

They were nearing the library when Mina heard it: voices. Familiar ones. Probably coming from inside.

"Who on earth would be wandering around the library at this hour?" Evans wondered aloud, already in prefect mode as she closed in.

"Don't tell her."

It was Sirius's voice, followed by Mary's.

"But... it feels weird. I don't think I can keep a secret like this. And the longer I go without telling, the more angry she'll be when she does find out."

On any other occasion, Mina likely would've created a diversion, at least enough of a ruckus to alert Sirius to the incoming prefect and give him a chance at escape. However, mention of secrets caught her interest. And not in a good way.

"Just don't, alright?" Sirius groaned, "I'm going to tell her. It'll be a lot better coming from me."

They were getting closer, mere steps away, but even Evans seemed to have slowed down in order to hear more of the clandestine exchange.

"It hasn't really changed anything," murmured Mary, "I mean, things were awkward at first, but I'm over it now. And she'll understand. It's not like either of us meant for it to happen."

Mina had a horrifyingly vivid mental flash of Sirius and Mary shagging in the locker room after quidditch practice. It was ridiculous. Probably just paranoia from smoking _way_ too much weed. Mina considered stabbing herself in the brain in order to punish the organ for (stop the organ from) supplying such outlandish and disturbing images.

But stabbing her own brain certainly wouldn't help in figuring out what the hell the two were really discussing.

Standing outside the library doors, both Mina and Evans continued to listen.

"I just need to figure out how to break it to her," Sirius declared, sounding like he was pacing and possibly tugging at his hair in frustration, "I don't want her killing anyone."

"Maybe we should tell Remus first."

"I already told him."

"See? It won't be that bad."

"He broke all our windows and locked himself in the bathroom."

"Oh..."

"And he's the mellow twin."

"Right..."

"Maybe we should go," whispered Evans, tugging insistently on Mina's elbow. She'd obviously come to a similarly dirty conclusion as Mina's stupid paranoid brain.

But there was no way... Sirius had shagged a lot of tramps, but... Mac? There was no bloody way...

"Don't fucking touch me," Mina hissed, wrenching her arm away and kicking open the library doors.

xxxxxxxxxx

Dun dun dun...

Reviews are love :)


	18. For Now

Part 18 – For Now

James arrived late to lunch and slammed his head against the table. He left his enormous noggin and the fluffy jet mop attached to it in exactly the same position for nearly five whole minutes before Sirius, annoyed to have been tempted out of his own moping, quietly inquired, "Something the matter, dearest Jim?"

The other teen finally sat up, hazel eyes sparkling behind thick specs. He reached for a piece of toast, bit into it and then (spewing crumbs, of course) declared, "So you know how Mina's been kind of grumpy today?"

Sirius stared at his almost-brother. Briefly considered cracking him in the skull with the sandwich platter. "Is that supposed to be funny?" he demanded.

"No," the lad pouted, "She has been in a mood. I know you're her boy-toy now, but try to be objective."

Not the sandwich platter. Maybe the pumpkin juice jug. The handle would provide a much better grip.

Oblivious to the danger lurking within swinging distance, James continued, "Anyways, she's scared the Hufflepuffs so badly that Smith, Branstone, and Davies are all in the Hospital Wing with stress-related ailments."

"Sure they're not faking?" grumbled Sirius.

Sure, Mina had been a right terror ever since finding out that Mary and Snape had discovered Remus's condition.

Since Evans had invited herself into that painful conversation by proclaiming to have known since second fucking year.

But Mina hadn't been _that_ bad...

James shook his head. "I've just been there. Smith can't stop puking, Branstone is broken out in hives, and the nurse thinks that Davies might be developing an ulcer. It doesn't look like they'll be in any shape to play on Saturday. I'll hear by tomorrow if they want to forfeit or if they can get Ravenclaw to switch dates. Either way, we're screwed."

Sirius shrugged. He had bigger problems.

"The forfeit is a win," his friend continued relentlessly, "But it probably won't give us anywhere nearly as many points as we could've gotten if we'd just played them straight. That could hurt us in the running for the Cup."

Such as the fact that his girlfriend hadn't spoken to him since hurling a Rune dictionary at his face... it didn't hit. And he was _mostly_ sure that she hadn't really intended it to. The girl had been a lot more focused on threatening Mary and Evans and Evans's pet Slytherin with elaborate and disturbingly specific torture should any of them breathe one word of Remus's condition to even their own damn pillows.

"But having to play Ravenclaw wouldn't be great either. We haven't prepared at all for their offense. They're really not that strong a team this year, but I don't think Walker will adapt well against Ceridwen Cadwallader without more practice. She's got a completely different style than Agnes Finch. And that Neely girl they brought on to replace Diggory, she's on a Nimbus 1700. That is a nice arse broom. She'll be tough to cover."

In the less than twenty four hours since that fateful night, Mina had destroyed a statue and half a greenhouse and the self-esteem of an impressive percentage of the student body. The Defense professor had flat out quit, fleeing the castle with the solemn vow to never teach again.

"Maybe I'll work with Jones, Creevy, and MacDonald for a bit after dinner and we can try to get some plays together. Ravenclaw is a young team, and they replaced all but three of their players this year. They don't have nearly the chemistry that we do."

But Hogwarts got a new Defense professor every year, and that year's was especially high-strung, so the incident couldn't be counted as _entirely_ Mina's fault. Though it was unfortunate, happening so close to exams and all.

"And maybe I can sweet-talk McGonogall into excusing you and Sunny from your detentions for the next couple nights. It wouldn't really be fair of her to expect us to play against a whole different squad with so few full team practices."

The worst was the she absolutely _refused_ to talk. She ignored him in class and had possession of the Map so was able to easily elude him outside of it. All Sirius knew for sure was that she was _furious_.

"I hope Mary's still up for it. She seems a bit mopey as well. I don't know why you're all so down about this. Mary and Evans have embraced the furry little problem, and Snivellus seems to be keeping his mouth shut as well. As far as I can tell, there's been no harm done. Pete, pass the jam."

Sirius was Mina's boyfriend. He was supposed to be the person to whom she ranted. He was supposed to be the person who made her laugh, made her feel better. Or at least the person who helped her blow things up when the need arose.

"No, not the raspberry! Have you learned nothing in all your time at this fine institution? Raspberry jam is pure evil! Those seeds would've been stuck between my teeth for weeks! Could you have lived with yourself after inflicting such trauma?"

Instead she was obsessively avoiding him. It wasn't exactly the fairy tale relationship for which Sirius had hoped...

"Padfoot?... Padfoot!"

Sirius blinked out of his depressing internal monologue and then scowled. "What?"

With a dramatic sigh, James asked, "Have you been listening at all?"

"Have you been talking this whole time?" Sirius countered.

James rolled his eyes. "You should be nicer to me," he teased, "Being the awesome bloke I am, I've managed to find out from a reliable authority exactly where Mina is going to be at four o'clock this afternoon."

Forget bludgeoning James with the pumpkin juice jug: Sirius was going to dangle the speccy git off the Astronomy Tower by his ankles until he talked.

And that must've been clear from Sirius's expression because James immediately, rather frantically declared, "She's doing something for Hagrid. I don't know what. I overheard Lily talking about it. They're both going. I figured we could also attend. Especially Moony. Just in case we need him to keep her from maiming us."

Also very late to lunch, Remus chose that moment to throw himself into a seat across the table and commence with eating his feelings, starting with a large slice of chocolate melancholy. It was never a very good sign when he went for dessert first.

Sirius could tell that the lad was using every ounce of willpower he possessed not to stare at Mary like a forlorn loon. "At least yours is still speaking to you," the black-haired teen grumbled.

Remus's head snapped up in an instant, the lad's glare taking on the faintly homicidal edge more commonly seen from his batshit-crazy sister.

Sirius sighed and vowed to work on keeping his big mouth shut.

xxXxx

_Patience_ is a nice way to say _cowardice_.

And Mina Lupin was no damn coward.

Accordingly, she had never been one to _wait and see_ how a situation would unfold. Mina shouted. She broke things. She _demanded_ answers.

"I should rip your heart out," Mina growled, emerging from the shadows beside the wide front doors as the redheaded bane of her existence strode past on the way to the unicorn paddock.

Evans hid her startled flinch quite well. "I haven't done anything to you," she argued primly, "Or to Remus. I don't have any intention of hurting him."

Even to her own ears, Mina's voice sounded downright terrifying as the girl snarled, "It'd be the last thing you ever did."

With an exasperated sigh and a beseeching heavenward gaze, Evans snapped, "Lupin, I figured it out years ago, and I've kept it to myself. I don't even really care. I only said something last night so that you wouldn't explode onto Mary and Sev."

Mina glared. "So that's it, isn't it?" she challenged, trailing her prey as they started down the big hill, "Blackmail. I have to be nice to you and your greasy stalker, or else?"

"Lovely offer," Evans quipped, "But if I wanted to blackmail you into being nice, don't you think I would've done it already? Seriously, I'm not going to tell a soul. In fact, when Sev started asking questions, I tried to make him believe that there was nothing to even investigate."

"Apparently you weren't very convincing," grumbled Mina. Earlier in the day, she'd bartered with Dung for cigarettes, and she lit her twelfth (twenty-fifth? who was counting?). The act of smoking was soothing (maybe the only thing keeping her from an unstoppable killing spree), but the girl had decided that she couldn't afford to have her faculties dulled by weed until the situation was settled (preferably with the death of Severus Snape).

Evans gaped. Her hand twitched like she wanted to slap the contraband out of the girl's mouth.

She didn't though, which annoyed Mina impossibly further.

Of course, it really didn't matter just a few moments later when the sandy-haired teen caught sight of her brother and friends milling about near Hagrid's hut. She cursed under her breath, taking one more long drag before flicking the smoldering butt away.

It hissed as it sunk into the snow bank.

(Remus only tolerated the weed because it helped her sleep; he would never give her any peace if he found out that she'd started on cigarettes.)

James bounded over like an idiot, grinning from ear to ear and greeting his uncooperative friend with a forceful hug that took her off her feet. "You've been a very naughty girl," he chuckled, kissing her on the cheek with a loud, wet _smack_, "Not telling me about this secret project, or that lovely Miss Lily would be accompanying you."

"Gerroff!" Mina grunted, kicking uselessly at the air until James finally let her go. She considered kneeing him in the bollocks, but the girl didn't want to be made late by the incessant whining that would surely result.

Evans pointedly ignored the bespectacled beanpole. Instead, she strode over to Remus, gave him a short embrace and an amiable hello.

Remus's tentative, hopeful smile made continuing to abhor Evans extremely difficult.

But no. Mina wouldn't allow her brother's pathological need for acceptance interfere with her own perfectly justifiable hatred.

Somehow, Sirius had managed to sneak up on Mina, and he wrapped his thick arms around her from behind. He pressed his face into her hair, inhaling deeply and then whispering, "Sorry you're upset, Sunshine. What can I do?"

"You can stop being so damn sweet, for starters," the girl muttered in reply.

She didn't want her foul mood to be soothed with cuddles and chocolate: someone had to _pay_.

Sirius chuckled, agreeing, "Of course, love. Anything for you."

Mina growled warningly but couldn't bring herself to shove him off, her rage ebbing more every moment that she spent in his arms, which was pretty much why she'd been avoiding him in the first place.

He really was a good boyfriend.

And Mina sucked. She was an awful girlfriend, a horrible friend, and an even worse sister. It was a wonder that anyone put up with her at all.

(Apparently her rage was spiraling down through a self-loathing phase, and wasn't that just bloody spectacular?)

"So what're we doing out here?" Sirius inquired, not bothering to let go even as Evans started them off into the woods.

Without really thinking, Mina replied, "There's... an exchange student. Firenze. He's helping look after the unicorns. I was in much better spirits last night and offered to give him a tour of the castle."

"Oh," Sirius said.

Mina could feel him pouting against the top of her head. "He's not even my type, you big baby," she sniggered, amused despite her desire not to be, "You'll see. He's just... interesting."

No sense in ruining the surprise.

They walked along for awhile longer, listening distractedly as James flirted and Evan fumed up ahead. Soon the trees thinned into a familiar clearing. Sailor trotted up to the fence the moment he sensed he had company.

"Lovely," Remus commented, reaching out cautiously to scratch the foal's golden head.

"I thought they didn't like males," James contributed as he, too, leaned over to pet the unicorn.

"The infants are far more trusting creatures," replied Firenze, stepping shyly into the dappled sunshine.

The boys' jaws fell open in perfect, hilarious sync.

Cackling, Mina leaning into the warm chest behind her and declared, "Hey, Ren. This is my boyfriend, Sirius, my brother, Remus, and our mates James and Peter. Say hello to Firenze, you rude little plonkers."

There was a round of meek greetings before Evans rolled her eyes and stated, "We're ready to go whenever you are."

Firenze nodded, his peachy blonde hair tied back from his young, pale face. "Hagrid should be returning shortly," he murmured, "He wanted to gather a few things to have with him while he stands watch."

They stood awkwardly for a few moments before Evans engaged Firenze in some small talk, the centaur uncomfortably answering questions while the boys continued to stare in disbelief.

"_Exchange student_," Sirius laughed quietly, "You're quite evil."

Mina grinned. "So I've heard."

xxXxx

After Hagrid arrived and reminded them that Firenze should not, under any circumstances, be involved in schemes, pranks, hijinks, or other assorted tomfoolery, the sevensome set out on their tour. Remus and Evans (the only two who had read _Hogwarts: A History_) provided the factual information. The rest provided amusing commentary that was mostly lost on the overwhelmed centaur.

They figured out early on that, while Firenze was fine going up stairs, he had a big problem going down. Hagrid hadn't specifically warned against breaking the creature's legs, but they figured that he wouldn't approve and decided to stick to the first floor.

"Though I would have liked to see the library," said their equine guest, uncomfortably trying to ignore the stares at they walked through the courtyard, "I do enjoy the few books I possess."

"Nerd!" Mina teased, earning herself glares from both her twin and Evans.

"I see you reading all the time," Evans argued snottily, "And I know you're one of the top of the class. What does that make you?"

Instead of smashing the girl's infuriating head into a wall, Mina coolly replied, "Naturally brilliant, of course."

"Don't forget devastatingly sexy," Sirius contributed, giving Mina's hand a squeeze and flashing a heart-melting smile.

Remus rolled his eyes and complained, "I'm _right here_!"

"Sorry, Moony," Sirius teased (though he didn't look sorry at all), "Your sister is just too damn beautiful. I can't control myself."

"Oh, speaking of which," Mina piped up, "I was meant to tell you. Moony's been wanting to strangle you a lot more often than usual, and his control might be slipping, so it's probably best to keep from annoying him too much."

Sirius paled a bit, whispering, "I really wish I would've known that thirty seconds ago."

"I forgot," Mina said with a shrug, "I've sort of had more important things on my mind."

"More important than preventing me from being strangled?" her boyfriend pouted.

Ignoring the question, Mina turned toward Firenze and declared, "Well, seeing as our tour has been cut a bit short, what would you like to do now? You can stay for dinner, but you might cause a fuss in the Great Hall. We could grab a picnic and walk around the grounds."

"I have an idea," cried James, "Firenze, have you ever watched quidditch before?"

Everyone groaned.

The centaur peered down curiously. "That is the sport wizards play on broomsticks?" he murmured, "No. I have never seen it."

Beaming, James continued, "Let's show him the pitch! Maybe he'll want to come to the game against Ravenclaw on Saturday, too!"

"It isn't going to be much of a game," said Peter, the pudgy lad jogging to keep up, "I overheard Hamish McDougal talking about cutting David Bell."

"Really?" James wondered, "Wow. I knew Bell'd been playing like shit, but I didn't think he was bad enough for that. D'you know who Hamish is going to replace him with?"

Peter chuckled, seemingly pleased to be the center of attention and content to draw out the moment. "Otis Clearwater," he finally declared, "He was the only other person who tried out."

"No way," Sirius laughed, "That skinny little fuck? As a _beater_? Does he even know _how_ to play quidditch?"'

Laughing, James announced, "They had a hard time filling positions this year. Barely anyone showed up to the tryouts even though they had to replace most of the team."

Mina snorted, "I never thought I'd say this, but we probably would've had more of a challenge from Hufflepuff, even with their missing players."

With a rather theatrical eye roll, James scolded, "Well, then next time don't terrorize them right before a match!"

Oh. So that was the reason for the schedule change. "I didn't even do anything that bad!" Mina insisted crossly, "It's not my fault that they're so easily frightened! Calypso's tits! They should just change their mascot to an incontinent bunny and get it over with!"

Practically vibrating with disapproval, Evans snapped, "There's nothing wrong with being a Hufflepuff! They're not as cowardly and useless as you make them out to be!"

Mina smirked. "So then tell me," she challenged, "Exactly how cowardly and useless are they? What's my margin of error?"

Evans huffed but apparently decided to go back to her previous strategy: not dignifying anything Mina said with a response. The redhead pointed out a few landmarks on the way down to the pitch but otherwise didn't speak to anyone other than Firenze.

(Especially not to James, who asked questions incessantly in hopes of starting an actual conversation with his asinine crush.)

Ravenclaw had the pitch for practice, but the team wasn't in the air yet. So the Marauders and their guests didn't realize that they were intruding until the sevensome was already almost inside the small stadium.

That's when they heard the shouting.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF, MCDOUGAL! YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE, YOU GIANT FUCKING _WANKER_! I'M GOING TO ENJOY WATCHING ALL YOU ARSEHOLES LOSE WITHOUT ME!"

Frowning, Firenze quietly commented, "This... is part of quidditch?"

"AND GUESS WHAT ELSE? GROVER, I SHAGGED YOUR GIRLFRIEND LAST YEAR! SHE IS A LOUSY LAY! FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!"

"Maybe we should come back-" Remus started to suggest.

However, Mina's brother didn't really get to finish his thought because David Bell came stomping around the corner. Apparently he'd been more emotionally devastated than enraged because as soon as he was out of sight of his former teammates, the seventh-year burst into tears.

Seconds later, he noticed that he wasn't alone. "Of course," blubbered the burly blonde as he swiped frantically at still-gushing evidence of his breakdown, "_Of fucking course_ you're here! The worst moments in my life aren't complete without an appearance from Mina _fucking _Lupin!"

Mina snorted, rolled her eyes. "What're you bitching at me for?" the girl argued, "It's not like I had anything to do with your crap playing this year." Honestly, she was far more concerned with how much her fingers ached for a cigarette. Guess Remus had been right about their addictiveness...

Bell advanced a few steps, snarling. Although he still had his height and broadness, most of the lad's former muscles had withered away. His once handsome face was a skeletal wreck, dark eyes hollow and previously charming dimples vanished from his gaunt cheeks. "You did this, didn't you?" the Ravenclaw accused, "You turned them all against me! This is _YOUR FAULT_, YOU _FUCKING BITCH_!"

Sirius quite clearly intended to physically retaliate for the insult, but Mina easily held his tense body in place with nothing but a gesture. As sweet as the knight-in-shining-armor thing was in theory, Mina was no damn damsel, and she could certainly handle herself against an idiot like Bell. Laughing, the girl taunted, "As much as I'd like to take credit, you're totally off base. Not to mention paranoid. Now run along before I start to find you more annoying than absurd."

"I'll get you back for this!" Bell hissed, trembling with fury, "I'll make you pay! I'll make you all _PAY_!"

"David, I think you need to calm down," Evans butted in, stupidly trying to situate herself between the psychotic seventh-year and the focus of his (mostly) irrational hatred, "Just take a deep breath, and-"

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" Bell shrieked, shoving Evans hard into the wall, not even waiting to watch her crumble before he lunged at Mina.

For a split second, all the boys seemed entirely distracted by Evans, her startled whimper of pain as she collapsed cradling her injured shoulder.

That split second was more than enough for Bell to tackle Mina to the ground, for him to get his hands around her throat and squeeze until the girl was sure that her head was going to pop off. Until she felt a cartilaginous _crunch_ from the spot where her scream should've been erupting. With Bell's face so close, it was impossible not to notice the sour zing of firewhiskey billowing out of his snarling mouth.

Instantly starved for air, surprisingly panicked, Mina clawed and flailed, struggling to get free, to draw in a breath. She could hear the boys rushing to her aid, trying to pull Bell off. But the Ravenclaw's grip was unrelenting, and even though she managed to gouge his face with her nails, it wasn't long at all before Mina's vision started to get hazy and dark around the edges...

But it was over almost as quickly as it had begun. Bell's hate-filled eyes suddenly rolling back in his head, the young man's grip going slack, his body going limp and slumping down on top of Mina's.

The girl crawled her way out from under him, coughing and gasping as her raw throat burned. She wasn't a healer or anything, but Mina was fairly certain that Bell had managed to crush something vital for life. Damn. And she really had been trying to avoid the Hospital Wing for at least the next month.

"Are you alright?" Sirius demanded as he and Remus proceeded to fuss over the ring of bruises already swelling her neck, the smudges of Bell's blood that had smeared from her fingernails onto her skin. Some shaky healing spells from her boyfriend helped, but breathing still _hurt_.

She tried and failed several times to croak an answer before finally just offering a feeble thumbs-up. Fighting down pain and dizziness, the girl peered around in an effort to determine who or what had knocked out the crazed attacker.

Her initial bet was on one of the members of the Ravenclaw quidditch team. But nearly all seven of the blue-clad players had their wands at the ready, so determining which specifically would have to wait.

"Bloody hell," said tall, dark-haired Hamish McDougal. The Scottish quidditch captain, prefect, and all-around golden boy strode forward and ended up kneeling at Mina's side. He surveyed the bruises for a moment, observed Mina's futile efforts to breathe normally, then turned and told his team, "Someone get the nurse down here."

"And tell her Lily's arm might be broken!" shouted James. Some friend he was, hovering around Evans while Mina could be dying.

After pausing for a moment to watch Firenze artfully hog-tie Bell, Mina attempted to speak again but still couldn't manage it. Instead, she took out her wand and began spelling out some glowing red comments in the air.

_Is that moron drunk?_

With a heavy sigh, McDougal responded, "Aye, most likely. We've been having problems with him since the school year started, but I wanted to give him a chance to sort himself out before getting any professors involved. Not much of a choice now though. I really didn't think he was so far gone."

Mina rolled her eyes at the Ravenclaw before turning back to her brother and boyfriend. _I'm ok_, she wrote, _Throat just hurts. Stop freaking out_.

Remus gave a startled, somewhat hysterical laugh before yanking the girl into a fierce hug.

Though the gesture wasn't exactly comfortable, Mina didn't have the heart to pull away. She certainly would've needed to hug the stuffing out of her brother had she just seen him choked by a lunatic.

_Who stunned the jerk?_ Mina inquired

"I believe Clearwater got him first," McDougal replied, "But a few of our spells hit... hopefully we didn't cause permanent damage."

_That'd be a shame_, Mina answered, already missing the sarcasm power of her voice. She stared across at skinny seventh-year Otis Clearwater and the rest of the nervous Ravenclaws. Offering them a weak smirk, the girl wrote, _Cheers_.

xxXxx

Evans's fractured collarbone was mended in under a minute. Madame Mary offered to let the girl stay and rest in the Hospital Wing for awhile, but Evans politely declined, saying that she had some homework to finish before her detention. Only Evans would pass up lounging around eating ice cream for a date with arcane rune translations and fresh unicorn shit.

Although Bell had done a pretty thorough job of crushing Mina's voice box, the nurse declared that the girl would be fine, that she needed to refrain from speaking for a few days while the regimen of horrid-tasting potions healed the damage but that there was no need for Mina to stay in her care. The vindictive shrew even went as far as clearing Mina for physical labor for her detention that night.

"I'm starting to think that Madame Mary no longer has the best judgment where we're concerned," Remus commented lightly, still fiddling with the ring of ice packs his sister wore around her neck like a fashion statement.

_Fuck that bitch and her whore mother_, Mina replied. She'd been given a small chalkboard shortly after one of her bewitched profanities had somehow floated out the window and irreparably scarred a gaggle of firsties.

Sirius had yet to move out of arm's length and kept his warm hand firmly at the base of Mina's spine. "Seems like it," he agreed, "I didn't think she was serious when she said she didn't want any of us in there anymore. She really should've kept you for longer."

Huffing, Mina furiously erased her slate and scribbled, _I'm fine. Doesn't even hurt that bad anymore... but don't tell Hagrid. I'm planning on milking this to get out of dung duty._

"As you should," James laughed, appearing abruptly with a bowl of ice cream that was bigger than his own head (which was saying something). He offered it to his friend with a sheepish smile, stating, "Sorry for seeing to Lily's injuries before yours. You don't have to forgive me, but at least don't rampage again. We don't need another team terrified out of playing us."

Mina took the sundae but chose not to comment, stashing her chalkboard so that she'd have both hands free to devour her please-forgive-James-Potter-for-being-an-arsehole-he-really-can't-help-himself treat.

(It was her fourth such treat in less than a month; sadly, that was nowhere close to the record, and if he didn't quit being such a prick, Mina's arse was going to start jiggling.)

Mina didn't realize what an inconvenience that being unable to talk was until then. No longer could the girl eat and chat at the same time. She tried to devour her ice cream faster so that she could rejoin the conversation, but all that managed to do was give Mina a brain freeze. Her innocuous wince and head clutch nearly caused her poor twin to have a heart attack, so she had to commit to eating at a normal pace, sulking all the while.

James bopped off to take care of quidditch related things. Sirius had his own detention to attend, but he did brave the might of Remus's disapproving glare in order to give his girlfriend a short but lingering kiss goodbye.

Mina's stupid, girly, love-struck sigh made her throat burn.

Since Peter had nothing better to do and since Remus was a worry-warting nag, they both walked Mina down to Hagrid's. Remus spent nearly fifteen minutes on an uninterrupted diatribe about how his sister should be excused from any strenuous duties.

"Ok, ok," Hagrid finally relented (when he was finally able to get a word in), "I heard what happened. I jus figured on havin both girls put up some more security charms aroun' the paddock."

For a few moments, Remus paused and seemed to be considering whether or not he thought such an activity would be too much for his poor twin while she was in such a delicate state.

_Fuck's sake_, Mina wrote, _It's a gift. Leave before he changes his mind!_

Remus pouted, insisting, "Actually, I thought I could stick around. I was only going to read tonight anyways, and- OW!" He rubbed his arm, gaping, "Did you just bite me? That's probably not very good for your throat, Sunny."

Scribbling furiously, Mina replied, _Don't you have an annoyingly tall slag you could be bothering instead of me?_

"I thought you were still mad at Mary," her brother muttered, blushing down at his feet.

_Not if it'll get you to quit hovering_, Mina responded. She raised her eyebrow pointedly, staring the sandy-haired werewolf down until he sighed heavily and dragged Peter away with him.

The detention brigade started off into the woods. Everyone was understandably tense. Finally, Evans inquired, "How are you feeling, Mina?"

_Fucking peachy_, the girl wrote, _Did you hear what they're doing to Bell?_

Evans nodded and explained, "Professor McGonogall said he won't be officially expelled, but the school asked his parents to take him home early so that he can get some counseling. He'll be allowed to come back to sit for NEWTs if he's a bit better by then."

_Isn't that nice for him_, Mina replied.

She hadn't had very fond feelings toward David Bell even before he tried to strangle her, but Mina still couldn't help pitying him just a little. After all, they'd lived through the same Death Eater attack over the summer, and though Bell escaped without being tortured, he surely carried some of the same horrifying memories as Mina. If the girl didn't have such amazing friends, then she might've retreated into a bottle, too.

But of course thinking about how great her friends were just depressed Mina further. They were sweet and caring, and she was an enormous bitch for next to no reason.

Needing a distraction in the form of a subject change, Mina wrote, _How's the arm?_

She jabbed Evans hard in the rib to get her to read the remark, but the redhead still smiled and answered, "Oh, it's fine, thank you. Actually, Madame Mary said that I'd already begun to heal myself by the time I arrived at the Hospital Wing. She says she thinks I have natural talent."

Evans's bubble was far too irritating not to burst. _It was probably James_, wrote Mina, _He's been getting good at healing spells, and Merlin knows he wasn't directing his attentions toward me._

Confusion and disappointment and disbelief all washed over the prefect at once. "Oh," she murmured, getting pouty as she realized that she wasn't as great as previously estimated, "Well, that's... surprising. I wouldn't have guessed that he'd learn so far ahead of his year."

Mina started to fill her chalkboard with profanities in defense of her friend, but the activity was interrupted by a rather concerned-looking centaur stepping soundlessly into the path.

"Hello," said Firenze, "Are you both feeling better?"

"Oh, yes, thank you," Evans answered sweetly, "We're nearly as good as new."

Even without a voice, Mina wasn't about to let that stuck up firecrotch speak for her. _My larynx is the size of a boulder_, the girl wrote hastily, _And I'm mostly sure that the nurse is stretching out my healing regimen just because she knows how bad the potion tastes. But otherwise, I'm fantastic. How's life with four legs?_

Firenze smiled. He seemed to be catching on quickly to the idea of jokes and sarcasm. "I have nothing quite so exciting about which to complain," said the centaur, "Perhaps you'd like some herbal tea? It is my mother's own blend, and she claims that it is very useful for bringing down swelling... actually, she makes me drink it for most ailments. And though I cannot guarantee that it tastes any better than your potion, it always does make me feel immensely better."

Chuckling even though chuckling hurt like hell, Mina wrote back, _We can exchange herbs. I bet you'll love mine._

"MINA!" Evans shouted. Apparently she'd been reading over the girl's shoulder. "You cannot give him... _that_!"

_You wanted to give him chocolate! _Mina argued, _And I totally just figured out what you and Snivellus have in common_: _ENORMOUS NOSES. HA._

Evans fumed the rest of the way to the unicorn paddock.

xxXxx

The walk to the unicorn paddock was not, by any estimation, a long one. However, Sirius still preferred to travel as a dog whenever possible. It was just more fun, bounding along with his tongue hanging out, letting a tapestry of smells fill his nostrils.

So, after the lad was released early from detention, he'd planned on making the short run to find his girlfriend in his Animagus form.

He hadn't been counting on encountering Mary MacDonald standing nervously at the entrance to the path.

"Hi," she greeted, gaze down and hands stuffed in her pockets, loose dark hair obscuring most of her face, "I'm just waiting to talk to Mina. I didn't want to go into the forest alone."

Grinning warmly, Sirius offered his arm and declared, "Well, good thing you're no longer alone."

Though she giggled at him, the girl accepted the gallant gesture, and soon the pair was on their way into the dense woods.

After only a few moments of silence, Mary inquired, "Is she still mad at me?"

"Difficult to tell," Sirius answered honestly. With a shrug, he added, "I wouldn't worry though. Mina's mad at me all the time, but it usually doesn't last. She can actually be very forgiving when it comes to her friends."

Again, Mary giggled, remarking, "That doesn't seem like something she'd want you to tell anyone."

Sirius shrugged. "I do what I can to make people see that she's not as crazy as she's generally portrayed," he said. He had another comment, but it was lost as his ears picked up a faint noise. A very slight Animagus transformation later, his astute canine senses detected the sound of someone struggling to breathe only a short ways ahead.

Running and dragging Mary with him, the teen managed to find the source in record time. He fell to his knees at Mina's side, patting the girl's back as she coughed and gasped. "What happened?" Sirius demanded, quickly taking in Firenze's concern and Evans's smugness.

"I told her she shouldn't be smoking with her throat like that," the redhead announced haughtily. She crossed her slim arms over her not-so-slim chest. "It's her own fault."

Though her eyes were watering and she didn't appear to be getting much air, Mina managed to weakly raise her middle finger in reply.

"Nice, Evans," Sirius scolded, "Way to sink to our level. I thought prefects were meant to set a better example."

The redhead scowled before storming off into the darkness.

Ignoring James's problem, Sirius turned back to his breathless dream girl and demanded, "Are you alright?"

Mina nodded, grasping at her chalkboard and jotting a few... hieroglyphics?

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Love," he said, "If it's not severe, then you should be able to relax and write a bit more coherently. Otherwise, I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the Hospital Wing, that vindictive quack of a nurse be damned."

Though her glare grew several degrees more dangerous, Mina did finally write a slightly more legible response: _Spare me the caveman fantasies._

So her comedic powers were intact. That was an excellent sign.

With a grin and a wink, Sirius declared, "Good thinking. Let's save those for when we're alone."

Her strength building as her breathing became a bit more even, Mina once more chose to raise her middle finger in response.

Apparently so relieved that her legs gave out, Mary plopped to the ground and muttered, "Merlin, you scared me."

Mina rolled her eyes. _What doesn't?_ she scribbled.

"I was just telling Mary how you'd likely come to your senses and forgiven her," Sirius announced, "Especially since what happened really wasn't her fault."

Narrowing her gaze at him, Mina wrote, _Traitor._

Sirius wrapped his arms around the sandy-haired she-devil, hugged her tightly and murmured, "C'mon, Sunshine. Everything turned out alright."

Mina scowled into his shoulder for another few moments, her weak, hoarse voice barely audible as she whispered, "For now."

xxxxxxxxxx

In the interest of political correctness, all my readers should consider this their winter solstice/christmas/hannukah/kwanza/new year's/w/e present... w/e.

You know what reviews do to me... o ya... *saucy wink*


	19. Sunbeam S8

Part 19 – Sunbeam S8

"That was a total slaughter," Mary remarked, shyly stripping out of her muddy, snow-soaked quidditch kit, "I actually feel sort of bad."

Shrugging, shivering and half-undressed in the next locker alcove, Mina hoarsely argued, "The Ravenclaws didn't have to play us. They could've made Hufflepuff take the forfeit rather than trading dates." As she sensed her companion's continuing guilt, Mina sighed and (though it still hurt her tender throat) added, "It's not like we were especially hard on the stupid bastards. If anything, we went easy. And the crap weather certainly did a bit to even the odds. Not our fault they have such a rubbish team this year."

Mary muttered, "I know. It's just... four hundred to seventy is especially dreadful."

With a wheezy laugh, Mina replied, "No worse than the Cannons on a good day. And better than I expected. Did you see Clearwater at the beginning of the match? He looked like he was going to piss himself. Now that I think about it, he might've. Everyone was too drenched to tell either way."

"That's because he only tried out to get closer to their new keeper," Mary reported. While she wrapped herself in a fluffy towel and gathered her shower kit, the girl added, "Unfortunately, Greta Rudiger only tried out to impress Keith Davies, and he's pretty much the classic example of the oblivious Hufflepuff. She purposely popped the buttons off her shirt right in front of him, and all he did was offer to help pick them up."

Mina yawned. "If we're going to gossip, then can we at least gossip about people who actually matter to me?" the sandy-haired beater requested, sluggishly preparing for her own post-game rinse and thaw.

Pouting stubbornly as the two teens wandered toward the girls' showers and into adjacent stalls, Mary answered, "Fine. Let's discuss your brother and the reason he's been avoiding me like an enormous arse."

Mina blasted the heat, trying to chase away the persistent chill from her bones. "You say that like I understand his current strangeness," she declared, closing her eyes, tilting her head back into the scalding spray, "I totally expected to be blinded by your disgusting displays of affection by now."

"Well, then maybe he was just holding off on talking to me until after your voice came back," Mary taunted, "A mute _and_ blind sister would be quite the inconvenience."

Chuckling, Mina muttered, "I'm sure he'd be thrilled for the excuse to supervise me constantly. He's grown into quite the little stalker ever since Sirius and I started dating. If we can just shift the focus of his obsession back onto you, then maybe I'll be able to actually enjoy having a boyfriend."

Mary was silent for a few moments. The smell of her floral body wash filled the steamy room. Lilacs. Finally, the taller girl questioned, "So how many more times do you plan on mentioning the fact that you have a boyfriend?"

Blushing, Mina did her best to remain nonchalant as she answered, "Wasn't aware you were keeping count."

"Keeping count of what?"

Mary shrieked, snatching her towel so quickly that the damn thing caught on its hook and ripped in half.

"Er," came James's sheepish voice, "Sorry, ladies. I'm not looking. I swea-OUCH! BUGGERING HELL!"

Mina poked her head out of the stall just in time to observe her friend walk face-first into a wall. "Prongs," she greeted, smirking, "To what do we owe the pleasure of this highly inappropriate visit?"

One hand over his eyes and the other rubbing his bruised nose, the black-haired lad announced, "Well, the blizzard isn't letting up, so we decided that there's no sense in all of us trekking through it to gather party supplies. I'm going to go down to Hogsmeade with Wormtail, and I thought I'd see if you lot have requests."

"Remember that chocolatey beer we had at the Three Broomsticks last week?" Mina suggested.

James agreed, "The stout? Aye, I'll see if Rosemerta has more. Anything else?" Upon receiving no further instructions, the speccy git declared, "Well, I'm off then. See you back in the common room."

"Merlin," Mina laughed, relaxing into the heat of her shower, letting the water chase away every ache, "I never thought I'd end up a drunk, but chocolatey beer might just be my downfall."

Mary didn't answer, though the water continued to rush.

In just a few moments, Mina was out and wrapped in a towel and peering into her friend's stall. She found the girl huddled in a corner, shaking and clutching was left of her own towel against her naked body. "I'll just fetch you a new one then," Mina sighed, turning away despite a rare twinge of conscience, "In the meantime, try to pull yourself together. We do have places to be."

Sniffling but stalwart, Mary replied, "Fuck you."

xxXxx

At the end of first year, Sirius overheard some girl refer to Mina as heartless. As in, "Godric, that Lupin waif is bloody heartless. I don't think I'll ever sleep soundly again until they lock her away."

The girl's friends were in agreement, but the whole group was gone before Sirius could get around the corner to discover their identities.

It bothered him for weeks. So much so that he finally told Mina about the incident the night before the summer began.

It was some late hour, and they were the only two awake in the common room, Sirius not sleeping because he was terrified of returning home as a Gryffindor for the first time. Mina not sleeping because she rarely did. He recounted the tale, and Mina's response was a smug smirk.

"Doesn't it bother you?" Sirius asked, incensed on her behalf.

She shrugged, so tiny in those days, still barely taller than Remus but all harsh, bony angles that she somehow managed to wear around like spiked armor. "Of course not," Mina had replied. She wasn't the sort of creature who curled up in a cozy corner near the fire; rather she'd sprawled in an enormous wingback at the very edge of the light, a miniature warrior queen surveying her domain with benevolent boredom. "People should be scared of me," she decreed.

"You're not heartless," Sirius argued. He grinned and added, "Ruthless, definitely, but not heartless."

Firelight suddenly filled her mouth as she bared her fangs in a menacing grin. Her pajamas were covered in happy yellow duckies. Sirius couldn't remember ever seeing her wear them again after that night. Strange.

Mina laughed, "Semantics? Really?"

Even then, Sirius had been fascinated by the little girl's unique brand of aggressive, unapologetic courage. He couldn't help smiling as he remarked, "There is a difference."

"But not one discernible to the unintelligent eye," she quipped back, "So it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Sirius said with a frown.

She smirked. "That's what I said."

In Sirius's memory, a short, playful wrestling match followed. Mina was somehow about to get the better of him just before Frank came down and made them break it up.

Sirius hadn't thought of that night for years, but when he arrived in the common room after the game and found Mina sitting in the same chair, lounging in the same the-world-only-exists-because-I-let-it pose, he couldn't help that the moment sprang instantly to mind.

"Do you still have those duckie pajamas?" he asked, leaning in to claim a kiss even though his girlfriend tried twice to swat him away (just because she was difficult like that, he assumed). "Not that I'm complaining," Sirius continued, "Because as adorable as duckie pajamas are, they don't rate quite as highly as your current stunning ensemble." Tight dark jeans shredded up both shapely legs and some sort of brilliant strapless red shirt contraption that was doing wonders for his girl's already naturally fabulous tits.

"What the fuck are you babbling about?" she demanded, "I've never owned duckie pajamas." Her lips became otherwise occupied for a few seconds (which, despite the girl's initial reluctance, she seemed to thoroughly enjoy).

Sirius pulled away with a triumphant grin, scooped his lovely beloved out of the chair and (even though he had to struggle against some squirming and shouting) artfully rearranged them both so that she was seated on his lap.

Mina glared, but Sirius took that as an invitation (a challenge, really) to snog the crankiness out of her.

However, he really didn't get very far into the mission before a loud throat clear brought him up for air.

"No swearing or snogging in the common room," Evans scolded primly, "This is your last warning, Lupin."

"Oh, piss off," Mina responded, turning her back on Evans.

Sirius was the one who saw the look of rage that passed over the redhead's face.

"_Excuse me?_" she demanded, irate voice climbing several octaves as the rest of her practically vibrated with fury, "What did you just say?"

Giving a sigh of annoyance, Mina peered briefly over her shoulder and very slowly repeated, "I said _piss off_. It's not a particularly difficult concept, but if you need further explanation, then I'd be happy to provide some. Miss Evans, I feel as though I've already endured as much of your company as can be reasonably tolerated within a week's time. I would be most grateful if you would _piss off_ for the remainder of the night so that I can at least _try _to enjoy my own victory party. Thanks, love. 'Preciate it."

Evans stared, apparently newly stunned by Mina's audacity. Finally, the redhead gaped, "What is wrong with you?"

"Well," chuckled Mina, nibbling Sirius's earlobe in a way that had to be illegal in at least three countries, "Everyone has their theory. I suppose you've been dying to share yours, so just do it already and let me go back to ignoring you in peace."

And then something rather strange happened: instead of holding up her end of the argument, instead of storming off with an indignant, exasperated huff, Evans froze. Her eyes welled up with tears. Her bottom lip trembled.

It happened in an instant, and then the girl was gone up the staircase.

... maybe she had a thing about being ignored?

Sirius almost said something, not leapt but perhaps gestured sheepishly to Evans's defense.

However, Mina chose that moment to fidget one of her hands beneath his shirt, and Sirius, quite frankly, forgot how to form coherent thoughts.

His girlfriend was a very fast learner.

xxXxx

Although she certainly knew how to have a good time, Mina didn't consider herself much of a partier. Small talk annoyed her, and it was worse when skeezy drunk perverts were the ones trying to subject her to such dreck. Dancing inevitably involved attempted groping from yet more perverts, and even the idiots who weren't trying to get into her knickers were trying to get into her booze, or her weed, or her candy, and, quite frankly, the girl had never been the sharing type. What was it about parties that made people forget to fear her?

But at least Gryffindor functions allowed Mina to act as bouncer. She did like that job, deciding who was worthy of attending and who should slither back into the dungeon where they belonged. Mina really tried not to think too much into it, but she supposed that she had a thing for power.

However, her thing for Sirius apparently trumped her thing for power and also greatly interfered with the girl's ability to be an effective bouncer. Sitting in anyone's lap had always seemed rather demeaning, but Mina was finding herself quite comfortable in Sirius's. Too comfortable because she kept forgetting that she was supposed to be checking guests as they entered the Tower.

"Padfoot," she laughed, giddy off chocolatey beer and the large hand on her thigh, "Quit it! I need to focus! That slag Chloe Bell almost slipped through!"

Smile wide and wonderful, the black-haired boy pulled her impossibly closer and replied, "But she didn't. I have faith in your ability to multitask. Besides, I believe there was talk of a reward for dragging this chair over here."

"You talked about a reward," Mina said with a pronounced eye roll, "I could've moved the chair myself. It's not like it was far to the portrait hole, and I do have a wand."

Sirius pouted, pressed his pout against Mina's flushed skin and complained, "Of course you're more than capable, but furniture moving _clearly_ falls under boyfriend duties."

Another eye roll. Mina was tired of ego stroking. Especially because she'd like to get experience stroking other typical male attributes. But Sirius, it turned out, was an insufferable gentleman.

She decided to forgive him for that (again) because... well, Sirius's newfound chivalry was odd and, at times, quite annoying, but it was also sort of... sweet. And, Mina supposed, something that she should probably get used to. After all, Sirius wasn't likely to give up on his "boyfriend duties."

The lovable prat had been demanding that she hand over her books for him to carry between every class, holding open doors and pulling out chairs wherever he could. He'd even offered to lay Peter across a mud puddle so that Mina wouldn't have to walk through it (but Mina declined that particular gesture, not wanting to listen to Pete whine about soggy underwear for the rest of the day).

Like thoughts of disgusting knickers had summoned the owner of the most disgusting pair in the known universe, Severus Snape appeared suddenly in the portrait hole. He sneered into the common room in which he had never and (if Mina had anything to do with it) would never set one oily toe.

"Lost, Snivellus?" she challenged, startling Sirius out of his sappy, besotted nuzzling and right into a menacing snarl.

Snape stared down his nose at both of them (though, in is defense, it was probably difficult to see around the enormous thing) before hissing, "I want to speak with Lily." Hunched and guarded though he was, the pitiful creature appeared to be making a constant, rather valiant effort to stand his ground in the midst of so many people who wouldn't mind seeing him trampled by a hippogriff (and quite a few who would happily shove him directly into harm's way).

Mina chuckled, kept herself sprawled across her boyfriend's chest so that he wouldn't do anything stupid (at least not in front of so many witnesses). "Oh," the girl murmured, "Well, in that case, I'll tell you what I told her: _piss off_. This is our victory party, and the last thing it needs is Lady Buzz Kill or her creepy sidekick, Poor Personal Hygiene Lad. Understood?"

If they'd been alone together in a dark alley, if Mina had been completely unarmed and at his mercy, then Snape very likely would've made an attempt at her life. He was clearly itching to blast her with the darkest curse in his repertoire. But, alas, all the Slytherin could do was refuse to leave, repeating, "I want to speak with Lily."

"And _I_ want a gorgeous girl to sit in my lap all night," declared Sirius. He wrapped his arms more firmly around Mina, winked and taunted, "Guess only those of us who aren't greasy, pathetic losers get what we want."

The banter ended on that high note as Mary appeared suddenly from the boisterous crowd. Tipsy and tarted up, the giant took in the scene then sighed, "Severus, why don't you go wait by the staircase. I'll let Lily know that you're here."

Again, the human oil slick sneered venomously but did turn and leave without another word. Skinny fuck always looked like he was trying to sweep an imaginary cape behind himself, and the effect was quite odd with nothing but a rumpled school uniform at his disposal.

"Wha's wrong with you two?" Mary hissed, slurring and barely audible as the music pounded, "Maybe if you quit messing with him, he'll quit digging about Remus!" She chose to storm off in search of the annoying ginger.

Even Mina found herself strangely mesmerized by the girl's barely covered backside. How on earth was her brother able to resist?

Pouting, Sirius grumbled, "Tad dramatic. We were only having a bit of fun with the Prince of Ponce. He actually caught us in a rather chipper, merciful mood."

"Don't mind Mac," giggled Mina, "I think she was hoping to get Moony liquored up so that she could take advantage of him, but my prefect brother refuses to get drunk in front of his impressionable young charges. Said something about not wanting to set a bad example."

"That's so... responsible," Sirius complained, "And boring." He hummed against her shoulder for a moment before adding, "But I suppose Moony wouldn't be Moony if he wasn't so responsible and boring. Especially at such inconvenient times."

Mina took a long draw on the joint that she'd cleverly disguised as a lollipop (with an ingenious spell of her own design) and then passed the treat along to Sirius. "Too true," the girl remarked. Wiggling (_not_ snuggling), Mina teased, "You really expect me to sit here all night?"

"As much of it as possible," said Sirius. His sensuous lips had already turned a deep red from the cherry lollipop. "Or until my legs fall asleep."

Swatting him lightly, Mina challenged, "Are you calling me fat?"

"Never," the black-haired teen replied. He brushed his sticky mouth against her ear and hotly whispered, "You're absolutely perfect."

Mina smiled, turned in his lap and cradled his face in both her hands. Leaning in close, she whispered, "Good answer."

They kissed, nothing especially passionate but slow and soft and sweet. Cherry flavored. Mina shivered and sighed, absentmindedly scolding herself for turning into such a girlie, sentimental dolt.

"That's ten points from Gryffindor," Evans growled when she stormed past, eyes as red as her disheveled hair, flannel pajamas hilariously out-of-place.

"Ouch, you got us," Mina called. Snickering into her boyfriend's sinful mouth, the girl added, "I think that stuck-up slag is confusing our interest in the Quidditch Cup for interest in the House Cup. _As if_ we want the annual arse-kissing award."

With a mournful shake of his head, Sirius agreed, "I know. And winning it four years in a row has just been embarrassing. We should step up our efforts to lose more points."

"Won't make a difference until everyone else stops earning so many," Mina declared. She spotted her brother watching and sulking from the other side of the room. "Speaking of bothersome overachievers..." the girl grumbled.

Sirius gave a short, investigative glance in the same direction and then promptly removed both his hands from Mina's body. He placed the appendages firmly onto their appropriate armrests, fingers digging into the upholstery. His guilty-puppy look was as adorable as it was irritating.

Rolling her eyes, Mina complained, "You know Moony's not really going to do anything to you, right?" She grinned. "Well, not unless I let him..."

xxXxx

Hours. Bloody _hours_ Mina waited for her brother to finally fall asleep at the fireside. A meddlesome twin could be ever so inconvenient, especially when he was pretending to be the overbearing father she'd never had (or wanted).

"C'mon," the girl whispered, tugging her drowsy boyfriend up from his own seat and dragging him along on a sprint out of the common room. They barely got to the first turn in the hallway before Sirius fully snapped himself into consciousness and used the opportunity to spin her into the nearest alcove. Pin her against the wall and commence with devouring her neck.

"Mmm," the girl laughed. She tossed her head back, slid her hands beneath Sirius's tight shirt and across the expanse of his deliciously toned chest, "About damn time."

Growling softly against her flushed skin, Sirius replied, "Not my fault your brother hates me."

Mina rolled her eyes. Really wished she wasn't thinking of Remus while she should've been enjoying the start of a marvelous snog. "He doesn't hate you," she insisted, "He's just... adjusting."

"By hating me," Sirius pouted.

Pressing their foreheads together, then their lips, Mina repeated, "He doesn't hate you. Quit being such a baby."

The pout turned into a snarl as Sirius playfully launched her from one wall to another, hoisted her up by her bum and got back to work making Mina forget that she wasn't really the sort of girl who allowed herself to be felt up in a public corridor, no matter how late the hour or how unlikely getting caught might be.

Of course, that unlikelihood didn't figure Evans's atrocious timing into the equation, nor the fact that the distraught redhead might choose that very alcove in which to fling herself after a lengthy tiff with her slimy Slytherin stalker.

Incensed, Mina glared at the oblivious intruder over Sirius's shoulder.

The sniffling figure gave no acknowledgement.

Mina cleared her throat, but that also had no effect. Except perhaps to encourage Sirius. But, really, what didn't?

"Oi!" Mina finally hissed, "Evans! How many times do I have to tell you to piss off in one bloody night?"

Startled, Evans snapped around to face them. As she hurriedly smudged the moisture off her cheeks, the girl argued, "How many times do I have to take points for wandering after curfew?"

"Apparently at least once more," Sirius grumbled. He gingerly settled Mina back on her feet, slung an arm around her shoulders and sighed, "I suppose it was too good to last."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Evans was just leaving," she declared, glaring pointedly yet again.

Evans still did not react as desired, huffing and folding her arms, scolding, "Not likely. Now, I know you don't care about punishment from the school, but I can't imagine that your brother would be very happy if I told him about this."

Gaze narrowing impossibly further with a sudden swell of rage, Mina growled, "Go ahead and tattle. He won't care."

"Um, there's actually a _very _good chance that he will," Sirius argued, "And since I'm trying to get him to stop hating me, can we please not find out?"

Bastard was lucky he was so damn adorable. Blasted puppy eyes...

"Fine," Mina muttered.

They set off back to the common room without anymore conversation.

Remus was right where they left him, though he appeared to have toppled over a bit in his chair and was drooling onto the floor.

"Moony," Mina whispered, shaking him lightly and doing her best to haul the lad upright, "C'mon, Moony. Bedtime."

He blinked awake slowly, wincing as he restored his neck to a more comfortable angle. He glanced briefly at all three of his fellow Gryffindors. His expression morphed into a glare shortly after settling on Sirius.

That was getting old so fast.

But soon they'd parted ways, and as Mina trudged up the staircase to her own dorm, she was very much looking forward to closing her bed hangings and drifting on the soft, comfortable waves of her very pleasant high.

Unfortunately, she'd barely taken two steps inside her room before hearing the sounds of someone retching in the toilets.

"Calypso's tits, Mac," she grumbled upon finding the girl with her face in the bowl, "It's called moderation."

Mina lit another joint to overpower the smell of puke.

"Oh, you poor thing," Evans cooed, already falling to kneel at the giant's side, pulling her dark disheveled hair away from her flushed face, "Lupin, fetch some water."

Though she bristled at being ordered about, Mina grunted, "Fine." She took a long drag and then held out the joint, "Give her this in the meantime."

Evans exploded. "You and your delinquent friends are responsible for her situation in the first place!" the redhead shrieked, ranting without a pause for breath even though the loud noise made Mary whimper, "You always bring tons alcohol to these parties, and you never pay attention to who's drinking it, or how much they're drinking, and then things like this happen, and you don't even care! You think it's so hilarious! And now you want to give her something else? What the hell is wrong with you?"

Very calmly, Mina explained, "Weed relieves nausea, you psycho."

The girls stared at each other for what seemed like hours.

When it became clear that Evans wasn't going to cooperate, Mina spun on her heels and went in search of a water pitcher.

xxXxx

"So, is she alright?" Remus demanded, ignoring his breakfast and pretending not to be as concerned about Mary as he obviously was.

Mina shrugged, "Still sleeping it off, thanks to Evans. For a girl who's never been hammered in her entire life, that swot sure has a lot of opinions about how best to take care of someone who is. Mac would probably be fine by now if she'd smoked a bit."

"I'm sure my Lily-flower was only trying to help," defended James. He stuffed a few slices of bacon in his mouth before continuing, "And she might have a point about keeping a closer eye on who's taking drinks. We could be shut down for good on parties if anything happens, especially to the younger kids."

With an animated eye roll, Remus groused, "I've been saying that for years!"

"Hmmm," James murmured thoughtfully, "Nope. Doesn't sound familiar. Are you sure?"

Remus flicked a pat of butter across the table and sniggered when it stuck directly over the lad's right glasses lens.

Pouting, James removed his specs and set about cleaning them. "Uncalled for," he complained.

"Less than you deserve," Mina corrected. She sounded bored, twirling a fork through her elegant fingers as her attention ricocheted around the room.

Sirius nudged her foot with his own, smirked and waggled his eyebrows.

The girl kicked him back but not before blushing all the way up to her absolutely adorable little ears.

Even Remus's disgusted grumblings couldn't ruin that.

Yawning around a half-chewed mouthful of eggs, Peter announced, "Well, I don't know about you lot, but I plan on going back to bed."

"Sleeping away your weekend again, eh, Wormy?" James laughed, "Typical. I say we recruit some classmates for an epic snowball fight! Remember that one we organized in second year?"

"I remember developing frostbite in some extremely uncomfortable places," Sirius contributed.

Mina nodded, adding, "I remember Frank trying to have me expelled over that thing with the icicles."

"I remember explicitly telling you _not _to do that thing with the icicles," sighed Remus.

Glancing warily at all his friends, Peter declared, "I remember why I prefer sleeping away my winter weekends." He jumped up suddenly and ran off with what was left of his breakfast, shouting, "See you on Monday!"

Firenze nearly trampled him in the doorway, the centaur dodging with a deft clatter of hooves and continuing right toward Mina. "Good morning," he greeted stiffly, shaking snow off his hair and shoulders and haunches, "Hagrid would like you to serve your detention now, if that's alright. The snow is coming through the wards too fast for us to remove without magic, and some more charms around the paddock would be appreciated."

"Sure," Mina agreed, "I was wondering how well the spells were holding off the weather. I told Evans she shouldn't have layered her wimpy little barriers over my awesome one. They just compressed it more than necessary."

Not quite comprehending the remark, Firenze muttered, "Er... yes. Well, where is Lily? I was to give her the message as well."

"I'll tell her!" James chirped brightly. Thoughts of his epic (i.e.: potentially life-threatening) snowball fight apparently forgotten, he jumped to his feet and jogged out of the Hall.

Mina and Sirius immediately began placing bets on how long he'd end up in the Hospital Wing.

xxXxx

Life as a witch included its fair share of odd moments (even relatively speaking), but sometimes... well, it got a bit surreal. One might even say downright ridiculous.

Mina's Sunday afternoon thus far had consisted of erecting a dome of shimmering magic in the midst of an enchanted forest, shedding her heavy coat during a blizzard because it was so toasty inside her perfectly constructed oasis. Unicorn nuzzling followed until the infant fell asleep with his head in her lap, the bemused mother looking on from a respectable distance.

And now, with Mina's brother on one side and her _boyfriend_ on the other, the girl was waiting for a shy teenage centaur to finish cooking lunch.

"Smells good, Renz," Sirius remarked, peering into the small bubbling pot, "Er... what is it?"

The pale colt grinned and gave his concoction another stir. "Mushroom stew," he announced proudly.

That really captured the lad's interest. "What kind of mushrooms?" Sirius asked eagerly, impishly, "Are they _magical_?"

Remus didn't bother looking up from his book as he reached around to smack Sirius in the back of the head.

Firenze clearly did not understand why. Hesitantly, the centaur explained, "My mother and I gathered them in the forest and dried them during the summer, so I suppose they were grown on enchanted ground."

"Ignore Padfoot," Mina snickered, leaning into her pouting boyfriend's embrace, "He thinks he's funny."

"I'm _hilarious_," the black-haired teen corrected. He briefly forgot himself and pressed a kiss to Mina's forehead. She could feel him tense as he remembered that her brother was still within smacking distance.

Remus either hadn't noticed or was actually starting to calm down about the relationship.

(Though she tried really, _really_ hard not to, Mina found herself grinning slightly at the latter theory.)

Of course, those positive emotions seemed to summon Evans, like the girl was some sort of fun-sucking vampire. She emerged from the forest with a frown, cautiously stepping inside Mina's bubble and complaining, "Bit flashy."

"Don't talk to me, ginger," Mina replied, "I'm actually in a good mood, and we wouldn't want your big mouth to spoil it."

Snorting, rolling her eyes, Evans murmured, "Especially since they so rarely occur."

Seconds later, it became quite obvious that Evans hadn't made her trek into the forest alone. Mary emerged from the tree line, dragging a rather abused-looking James. They, too, stepped through the barrier without incident.

"Um," Mary began, carefully dropping her unconscious human cargo at the edge of the paddock, "Mina. I need to talk to you." She spared a quick and unreadable glance for Remus before adding, "Now."

Rolling her eyes at the thought of being in the middle of more of her brother and friend's relationship drama, Mina replied, "Can't it wait? I'm sort of busy being a pillow at the moment." Her fingers found their way into Sailor's silken mane all on their own, her lips curving softly upward.

(Mina had a theory that it was impossible to pet a unicorn and not smile.)

"What part of _now_ don't you understand?" Mary snarled snottily, still looking quite rough from the night before and apparently in no mood to joke.

Everyone but Mina appeared surprised by the tone. Several seemed to be holding their breath to see how the volatile girl might react to being spoken to in such a manner.

"Bit dramatic," Mina said, quite clearly mocking Evans's earlier statement. The sandy-haired Marauder gently transferred Sailor's head into Sirius's lap and then stood from their transfigured blanket, brushing off her backside as she trotted after Mary back outside the lovely magical warmth that doubled as a sound barrier.

Mina hugged herself and shivered, squinted against the snow flurry and announced, "For future reference, wanting to bitch about my twin is not a _now_ situation. Especially not a _now in a blizzard_ situation... is this going to take long? I left my coat."

The girl's jaw was set, her dark eyes... were difficult to interpret. Bloodshot. Angry yet strangely worried... "If Remus isn't in the hospital every month," Mary whispered, "Then where do you sneak out to on those nights?"

It was Mina's turn to adopt a dangerous, no-fucking-nonsense expression. She stepped into her friend's face, impossibly annoyed to have to crane her neck in order to properly lock gazes and glare. "None of your business," Mina hissed.

Unfortunately, Mina's spectacular mentorship had caused Mary to grow an actual spine; the enormous girl was getting much better at not being pushed around. "Tell me, or I'll ask Remus," she threatened, "He promised he'd never lie to me again-"

(Of course her brother would stupidly trap himself and the rest of their friends with such a well-meaning vow.)

"-so if he knows, he'll tell me. If he doesn't, then _he'll _get the answer from you."

That seemed possible. Remus wouldn't intentionally sell out anyone's secrets, but he did like Mary. A lot. The fact that he'd been avoiding her proved that rather nicely:

He'd tried the same thing with Mina shortly after he'd been turned, hiding and not talking, not letting his sister touch him. Later, when she pinned him down and forced an explanation, Remus had admitted to being scared of hurting her, to being scared of his "deformity" ruining her life.

He probably would tell Mary everything she wanted to know. There might be some sort of Marauder conference, but Remus would make a strong appeal and most likely win a majority of votes. And if that happened, then Mina wouldn't get to be the one delivering the news.

"Once you know, you know," Mina explained icily, no longer aware of the cold. She glanced briefly over her shoulder to the sight of an amiable conversation inside the magic dome. (People always got along so much better when she wasn't there.) Turning back, the girl continued, "And that means if you ever tell, I _will_ tear out your heart."

"Ya, ya," said Mary, "Whatever. We did the _tear out your heart_ speech already. I want to know."

Mina smirked viciously. Her friend wasn't yet taking the threats serious. That would be sure to change. "Fine," the girl declared, "But it's better to show you. C'mon." She set off toward the trees, preparing herself for the taste of human blood if things should go wrong.

xxXxx

One second, everything was fine. They were all talking, and the conversation was surprisingly pleasant considering the fact that both James and Evans were participating... considering the fact that James had only barely regained consciousness after Evans stunned him nearly into a coma...

The next second, Mary sprinted through the barrier mid-scream and threw herself into Remus's lap.

By some stroke of luck, Sirius was the only one to glance over in time to see Sunny out near the trees.

The sandy she-wolf licked her snout and then disappeared into the swirling white.

Mary appeared to be hyperventilating; Remus seemed close as he asked over and over again what was wrong.

In all the confusion, Sirius was able to stand and follow his girlfriend, waiting until he was beyond the trees to transform. Padfoot scented the frigid air and then broke into a run.

Sunny hadn't gone far and wasted no time tackling her boyfriend.

They wrestled for a few minutes, lightheartedly snapping and snarling, everything else forgotten.

And then they were human again, half stuck in a snow bank. Mina was shaking quite badly; she didn't have her coat.

"Bloody hell," Sirius grumbled, tucking the girl inside his own. He became distracted, momentarily, by the feel of her lithe body so close, the cold, smoky smell of her wild hair.

"Mac demanded to know where I go every month when Moony transforms," said Mina, unapologetically warming her frigid fingers against Sirius's bare skin, "So I showed her."

Oh... that wasn't good...

Mina didn't seem terribly worried, snuggling closer and explaining, "She swore not to tell. And I'll kill her if she does. So, win-win, right?"

Death threats from Mina weren't unusual. And Sirius had never thought that she wasn't capable. But he'd never heard her sound so sincere while talking about someone who was supposed to be a friend.

"I'm sure she won't say anything," he soothed. He didn't really know what else to offer. "Smoke?"

Mina nodded, her chin digging hard into Sirius's sternum.

xxXxx

Nearly a week passed before things started to get back to normal. Before Mary stopped jumping every time Mina entered a room. Before Remus stopped frowning at his sister with equal parts astonishment and exasperation. Before James stopped begging to be allowed to tell Evans, too.

(For some reason, he thought that the Animagus secret would impress his crush, maybe bring them closer together; there may have been several bets made on whether or not the bespectacled beanpole had lost his damn mind.)

Anyways, Sirius was glad to see the situation blowing over, especially because it meant that Remus and Mary were finally getting along better and, as a result, leaving him and Mina mostly to their own devices.

(Merlin, he loved her devices.)

February was coming to a close, and with it, Sirius's birthday. _Finally_.

They'd all been born in 1960, a leap year. But Sirius was the only one to actually be born on leap day, February 29th. The day only appeared on the calendar every four years, and his parents never saw fit to acknowledge it on any other date. Some moronic old superstition, no doubt.

Of course, the Marauders didn't let that stop them from throwing a huge celebration in Sirius's honor. In fact, they usually arranged for a party to start on February 28th and continue well through March 1st. "It's in there somewhere," Mina once laughed, "You know, the moment when you emerged from your bitch mother's flabby cunt and never had to be a part of her ever again. That's an occasion worth commemorating."

Not only was 1976 was a leap year, but Sirius would also be the first Marauder to turn sixteen. The twins and James weren't far behind (March 10th and 27th, respectively, Pete bringing up the rear in June); however, Sirius always got a bit of a thrill out of being the oldest. And an actual February 29th meant an extra awesome party.

Not to mention the fact that it would be the first birthday for which he had a real girlfriend.

"Just tell me what you want," Mina demanded, all pushy and frustrated and cute as they strolled to class on Friday.

"I want to see what your marvelous brain comes up with," the lad teased. He squeezed her hand, grinned in a way that he hoped might keep him from getting kicked or otherwise assaulted. "You still have until Sunday, and I'm sure it'll be great. Just no more pets. Turns out Monty is the jealous type."

Mina pouted. "Ya, well," she grumbled, "Monty is what happens when you don't give me some idea of what you might want as a gift." She was wearing the bronze hair clip he'd gotten her for Christmas, but Sirius wasn't sure if she'd done so solely for the benefit of that conversation. His girl was crafty; however, she also really seemed to like the present and could be seen sporting it several times a week.

And Sirius was going to have to do as good or (preferably) better for her on March 10th.

But that was ages away (not really, but he liked to think so), and Sirius decided that he should first concentrate on enjoying his own festivities before starting to plan for Mina's.

"Hey," Dorcas Meadowes greeted as she appeared suddenly beside them. The blonde puffed a stray lock of hair out of her dreamy eyes and declared, "Care of Magical Creatures is cancelled today. Kettleburn lost another toe."

"Which one?" Sirius and Mina demanded together.

Raising an eyebrow in an I-don't-even-want-to-know type manner, Dorcas replied, "Left middle, I believe."

Sirius groaned and handed his smug girlfriend a galleon.

"Thanks, Dorky," laughed Mina, taking the initiative and tucking herself underneath Sirius's arm, "Coming to the party on Sunday?"

Dorcas nodded, glancing over at Sirius to announce, "I got you firewhiskey. Figured it was a safe bet."

Shrugging, Sirius agreed, "I'm a man of simple tastes."

"Hey!" Mina complained.

Sirius smirked at her, crooning, "You are the exception that proves the rule, my _dearest _Sunshine."

She elbowed him in the gut. But not very hard, which was how he knew that she loved him, too.

xxXxx

One of the more annoying aspects about having a boyfriend was all the time Mina had to spend with him. Well, that wasn't entirely true; spending time with Sirius was almost always vastly entertaining in one way or another. However, a girl occasionally needed a bit of privacy. Especially when she was trying to sneak out to arrange a birthday present for her very attentive beau.

Good thing Mina didn't sleep.

It was also a good thing that she wasn't afraid of heights because although she'd baited Remus into sending her upstairs to "take a dose of Sleeping Draught," he and the rest of the Marauders had remained in the common room and showed no signs of turning in, despite the late hour of that particular Friday.

Mina huffed at the Map, wiped it clean and tucked it into her satchel before quietly throwing open the dorm window in order to commence with Plan B. She cast some medium strength sticking charms on her hands and feet and then began to scale down the Tower, just like Spider-Man.

(About a quarter of the way down, the girl made a mental note to pick up some more comics while she was out; they always gave her the best ideas.)

Her muscles were just starting to burn when she got close enough to the ground to drop the rest of the way, landing hard but unscathed. Mina stood and stretched, grimaced at the state of her fingernails, turned around.

Evans's mouth was, quite literally, wide open, her green eyes seemingly twice their normal size... but also puffy and red.

"Have you been _crying_?" Mina ventured hesitantly. She wasn't that interested in the answer but figured that a distraction could only help her cause.

Jaw snapping shut, Evans spluttered indignantly and then declared, "That is _none of your business_! What the hell were you doing sneaking out like that? You could've been killed!"

Mina shrugged. "If I'd brought my broom up," she said, "Then the boys would've known that I was going out, and they would've wanted to tagalong. This mission happens to be top secret." It was hard to tell in the dark, but Mina was _sure_ that Evans had been crying...

And then the sandy-haired girl spotted a tall, greasy shape stomping back toward the castle, the disgusting lad's imaginary cape fluttering in the wake of his idiotic bluster.

"Issues with the slimy Slytherin, then?" she inquired, "Honestly, Evans, I don't know how you tolerate him. He's not even half as sociable as I am and far, _far_ less witty."

Evans gritted her teeth, but the only explanation she offered was, "Sev is my friend."

Again, Mina shrugged. "Whatever," she declared, "Can I leave now, or are you going to be a total bitch about this?"

Soggy eyes rolling heavenward, Evans replied, "What do you think?"

"Look," Mina argued, "I have to be somewhere. You can take points and make me head back inside, but we both know that I _will _get where I'm going, most likely on time. So unless you want to come with, I don't see-"

"Fine," Evans interrupted. She sniffled and smudged her cheeks dry and glared, "I will. I may not be able to have you properly punished or contained, but I can at least make sure you don't commit any major felonies."

Mina honestly hadn't expected that response. "Um..." she declared, "Look, apparently you're still a tad miffed about your little spat with Snivellus, so I'll save you the trouble of regretting this in fifteen minutes. You don't really want to come with."

"If you want to go out, then I'm coming with you," insisted Evans. She looked so... serious. But it was forced. Like she was doing her best to impersonate her own do-gooder, goodie-two-shoes persona.

And that was quite intriguing.

Trying not to chortle maliciously, Mina sighed, "Alright, fine. Just don't whine about it later, like when you begged me to let you smoke weed."

"I didn't _beg you_-" the redhead started to argue. However, she caught on fairly quickly that she was having her freckled leg yanked like crazy. After that, she settled for glowering heatedly as the two girls set off into the night.

xxXxx

Sirius loved firewhiskey. The taste. The burn. The warmth and pleasant relaxation that always followed.

Unfortunately, even the smell of it was enough to make Mina queasy, so the lad had been sticking mainly to other contraband substances ever since they got together. (There was no reason to even risk turning her off with something as ridiculous as whiskey breath.)

But an entire evening of having the girl yawn into his shoulder had resulted in Remus nagging his sister upstairs to take her potion. And that meant that it was a boys' night.

"Moooooooooony," James slurred, giggling hysterically into their favorite lycanthrope's thigh, "What do you want for you birthday, Moooooooooony?"

Sprawled somewhat respectably in a squashy chair, Remus blinked down at the lad and muttered, "I... uh... I'dunno." (He was such a lightweight.) "Uh... books?"

A round of booing followed, accompanied by a few projectiles. More shots as they handed around the bottle of Ogden's.

Then Sirius interrupted, "Does that mean you've already gotten my pres'nt?"

(The common room was tilting heavily to the left... that wasn't strictly normal... was it?)

"F'course," James sniggered, hugging and snuggling Remus's leg, "You're going to like it, I think. And if not, then _screw you_."

"That's the spirit," Peter murmured. He was pretty much passed out, the absolute worst at handling his liquor.

"I think the Tower is falling," announced Sirius.

James countered, "I got you fireworks and booze."

The boys were silent for a few moments, only James's giggles filling the otherwise empty common room.

Then, even though the black-haired lad's glasses were quite askew (pushed halfway up his forehead), James's mouth fell open and his eyes went wide.

Sirius followed his friend's gaze and saw a ball of black-and-white fluff several steps up on the girls' staircase.

"Monty! No!" Sirius shouted, jumping up to catch the skunk. The young man wobbled over and managed to get his hands around his pet but then made the mistake of planting his foot on the bottom stair.

The whole contraption turned into a slide. Sirius's foot slipped out from under him, and the lad went headfirst into the wood with a quite unpleasant _thud_. He rolled down the slope and lay groaning on the common room floor.

All the guys howled with laughter.

Sirius couldn't blame them. It was most likely a hilarious spectacle. As soon as his teeth stopped rattling, he sat up and rubbed his skull, using his free hand to try to keep Monty from making another break for it.

The skunk got away again within a few seconds. Sirius blinked, and the creature was six steps up from where he was before, out of reach, preening himself as if to say _haha, I'm farther up this staircase than you'll ever get, you pathetic tosser_.

And then Sirius started to wonder why that was.

Monty was _male_. Why the hell didn't the stairs turn on him? Or on any of the other male pets, for that matter? He knew for a fact that several of the girls possessed cats with boy names and (he assumed) the parts to go with them.

Genius struck at the strangest of times.

"Holy crap," Sirius exclaimed. He was drunk, impulsive (well, more so than usual), and he only briefly inspected the empty common room for witnesses before transforming into Padfoot.

He bounded up the steps and seized Monty gently in his slobbery jaws. He waited a moment, holding his doggy breath, but the stairs remained stairs.

Then he figured _what the hell_. Remus was already furious and screaming drunkenly after him, so there was really no incentive to go back into the common room, not without at least seeing his girlfriend. To remind himself that it was all worth it.

He expected Mina to be asleep. Instead, he found her bed empty. Her scent present but not strong. Padfoot concluded that she wasn't in the Tower.

But that seemed unlikely. After all, the rest of the Marauders hadn't left the common room since she'd gone up to bed. And without the invisibility cloak at her disposal, there was no way past them.

Then Padfoot saw the open window...

xxXxx

"I told you not to come with," Mina sing-songed, chuckling into the mouth of a bottle as she watched her companion quietly freak out on the next barstool.

Clearly, the redhead was doing her best not to. But that didn't amount to much. Every time someone brushed too close, laughed too loudly, Evans's hand went to her wand.

"You can still slink back to the castle," Mina decreed, "I won't think any less of you. Trust me, it's not possible."

Gaze darting around the small, dim, rather grungy establishment, Evans grumbled, "Just shut up. How much longer do we have to be here?" She glared daggers at the large hairy muggle at the other end of the bar; he'd been sending drinks and blowing kisses ever since they arrived.

(Hey, Mina realized that he was gross, but it beat paying for her own beer. She considered it a disgusting-moron tax.)

"I don't know," the teen replied, checking a nearby clock, "She said she'd be here around two."

Incensed, Evans snarled, "It's _three-fifteen_."

"What're you complainin' about, red?" interrupted a gruff old voice, the kind that had been chain-smoking since puberty, "You're young. It ain't like you don't got plenty of time to spare."

Mina turned in her seat and smiled at the white-haired, leather-clad old woman. She was a lot tinier than her voice and personality suggested. "Deirdre Fitzsimmons?"

The woman looked her up and down, eyes an eerie pale blue, skin a wrinkled, leathery hide from decades of windburn and tan. "Pandora Wolf?" she asked.

They shook hands. Mina could sense Evans glaring, could sense that the redhead wanted to demand why she was using a pseudonym.

(Because it was more fun that way. Obviously. A person didn't go through all the trouble of arranging a clandestine transaction in a backalley London pub just to use her real name.)

"I've got the rusted junk pile outside," said the old woman, _Deirdre_ (Mina liked to believe that she was also doing a bit of cloak and dagger just for the heck of it). "Like I said over the phone," she went on, "Piece of shite don't even run."

Mina shrugged. "That's fine, for the price. Just let me take a look."

"Aye," Deirdre nodded. She turned and left and didn't wait for the girls to follow.

xxXxx

Returning to Hogwarts with her cargo had taken a bit more effort than Mina initially anticipated (the rusted shite pile indeed did not run but was still quite heavy, even shrunk down). And by the time she finally arrived, hid the present, and indulged Evans's complaints, the horizon was beginning to brighten.

Mina was exhausted (her brother had probably been right to tell her to take her potion the night before), but the girl figured that if she could just get to her bed, then she still had a few hours free to relax in it and (fingers crossed) sleep.

But there was a dog in her bed. One that looked quite familiar...

"Padfoot?" she whispered, nudging the canine aside as she slipped through her hangings and under her covers.

The creature whined at being woken, yawned, then peered at her with big, stormy gray eyes.

He was Sirius again in an instant, broad and strong, and he wrapped his arms around her like he hadn't seen her in months. "Merlin's balls, Sunny," the lad complained, "Out the window? Really?"

"Shut up," she laughed, "I should be demanding to know how the hell you got up here." The girl frowned. "You didn't tell Moony, did you?"

Sirius sighed, "He knows that I figured out the stairs, but he doesn't know that you were gone. I snuck back up after he fell asleep." Since he could clearly sense that further explanation was in order, Mina's boyfriend then related the story of their boys' night, Monty's attempted escape, and the stroke of genius that followed.

"Hmm," Mina replied, "Well, I suppose Prongs would be too conspicuous, but I'm going to have to keep an eye out for Wormtail scurrying about up here. Maybe set some rat traps."

Chuckling, Sirius stated, "I wouldn't worry. With any luck, none of them will remember anything past cracking open the firewhiskey. I did my best to get them well and truly drunk."

Mina curled up against her boyfriend's side, using his chest as a pillow. She yawned and murmured, "I'm so proud."

Sirius waited a few more moments before inquiring, "So, are you going to tell me what you were doing out all night?"

"It's a surprise," insisted Mina. She squirmed to make herself comfortable, ordering, "Now hush. I'm trying to get a few hours before breakfast."

Sirius shut up and sat still.

Mina didn't remember falling asleep but didn't wake up until well after lunch. And although her boyfriend immediately fidgeted out from under her with the urgent need to piss, he didn't complain.

xxXxx

While McGonogall generally tolerated rowdy victory parties in the common room, she wasn't quite as lenient when it came to other occasions. Such as birthdays. It was a slippery slope, Mina supposed: if the professor allowed one student to throw a rager in honor of his or her birth, then she would have to allow them from everyone. And there wouldn't be a whole week that passed without at least a smidge of debauchery.

If the weather had been warmer, then a large tent in the woods would've been the obvious solution. But with the snow still coming down by the foot, even a magical barrier like the one around the unicorn paddock wouldn't save anyone from having to trek through frigid temperatures and impassable terrain. Even a legendary Marauder bash probably wouldn't draw many guests in such conditions.

The next best location was the Astronomy Tower. It was a bit more risky; though located in the most remote part of the castle, it could be seen from the front of the school, and even one errant prefect or professor could scrub the whole plan. But Mina didn't see how they had much of a choice.

"We'll just have to double up on sound-proofing charms," she remarked, supervising her brother and friends as they conjured colorful lights to string across the ceiling, "And privacy charms. And blackout charms on the doors and windows. And maybe a security charm to let us know if someone is coming... And we should probably expand the room a bit more."

"What's this _we_?" James chuckled, "I don't see you doing anything."

Mina snapped a rag at his skinny behind, cackling when he gave a startled yelp.

Remus rolled his eyes at their antics. (He still wasn't completely over his previous day's hangover and was consequently a bit short-tempered.) "Where is Padfoot, by the way?" he inquired.

"Detention," Mina said with a grin.

Her brother shot her a curious glance, countering, "Shouldn't you be in detention as well?"

Mina grinned. "I am."

There was an angry growl that she'd never heard before from her twin's mouth. "Not Polyjuice again!" he complained, "This whole mess started with you messing around with that stuff! And you shouldn't be making Mary serve your punishments!"

"First of all," Mina began, "I never _made her_ do anything. It was a favor that she participated in quite willingly. Secondly, it's not Polyjuice. Professor Varela wanted the Astronomy Tower cleaned, and I graciously volunteered for the task. It's the least I can do as penance for my heinous crimes."

Despite his annoyance, Remus couldn't seem to help a brief, reluctant laugh. "You never told us what you ended up getting Padfoot," said the sandy-haired werewolf. He turned white and then very red in quick succession. "Or do I not want to know?"

"Jeez, Moony," Mina chuckled, "Give me some credit! It's a bit early in the relationship to be exchanging the sort of gifts that make you blush. Just for that, you can wait to find out until Padfoot opens it."

"What about me?" James complained, "I didn't do anything."

After a moment of thought, Mina flippantly countered, "You finished off my chocolatey beer during your boys' night, so a pox on your household and such."

The lad pouted.

"But," Mina continued with a puckish grin, "Since I didn't know about your unforgiveable transgression until today, I'd already done something very nice for you."

James looked worried.

Hands on hips, the girl scolded, "Well, if you're going to keep making that face at me, then never mind." Turning away, she casually added, "I'll just tell Evans that she's uninvited-"

"WHAT?"

Shouts from all three boys echoed around the room in an obnoxious cacophony, causing them all to clutch their poor hungover heads in pain.

xxXxx

They ate. They drank. They danced. Everyone took a turn destroying the Death Eater piñata.

Sirius didn't realize that Mina had left until other girls started flirting with him, trying to persuade him to join them on the dance floor.

"You seen Sunny?" he shouted into James's ear, mostly to be heard over the loud music but also to get his friend's attention; poor sod had been fixated on Evans ever since she arrived (apparently through some miracle (or possibly mind-control) on Mina's part).

James shrugged. (In hindsight, he probably wasn't the best person to ask.)

"She's outside," said Evans, clearly still trying to flee her most persistent admirer. Clearly regretting whatever stroke of insanity had led her to agree to even show up.

Stumbling through the crowd and fighting off three more daring dance partners, Sirius finally managed to make it to the balcony. The silence and frigid air couldn't have been a bigger shock to his drunken system...

Well, that was before he found his girlfriend straddling an ugly old motorbike.

Mina didn't notice him, leaning back on one elbow as she lazily passed a small sack of weed to Dung. "Thanks for getting it up here," she told the squat, pock-faced Ravenclaw, "Now piss off."

Apparently not particularly offended by his dismissal, Dung took his party favor back inside through one of the other doors.

Sirius could only stand and watch speechlessly as Mina dug out a joint for herself, lit it with a flourish, and breathed a languid sigh of smoke up toward the sky.

The young man wished that he'd asked for a camera because he didn't think there was anything sexier than his girl sitting in the starlight, her hair loose and wild, jeans tight, clingy blue shirt probably a bit too thin for the weather but brilliant all the same.

He must've made some noise because Mina turned suddenly.

For a moment, she appeared to be trying to hide the machinery with only her slim body. "You're ruining the surprise," she complained as Sirius drew closer. She continued to frown even as he placed his hands on her shivering hips and drew her into a long, clumsy kiss.

"I... I can't accept this," Sirius said, even though he really didn't want to, "It's amazing, but it's too much-"

"Hold that thought," laughed Mina, "Before you get all noble, you should know that the bike is nearly thirty-years-old and doesn't run. It needs to be completely stripped and rebuilt, and a lot of the parts need to be replaced. The lady I bought it from was so happy to be rid of it that she let me have it to me for practically nothing. Well, practically nothing and some weed, but we both agreed that we had plenty to spare." She twisted away from him, digging through the satchel she had propped on the other side of the bike. After producing a small wrapped square, the girl added, "Anyways, I was going to give you this first."

Sirius saw the girl bite her lip nervously as she watched him tear open the paper.

It was a book. He almost made a joke about her accidentally giving him Remus's gift, but then Sirius read the cover:

_SUNBEAM_

_MOTOR CYCLE_

_MAINTENANCE_

_AND REPAIR SERIES_

"Wow," was all he could say. His chest felt like it was bursting open.

Sirius had to wonder how many times he was going to fall completely and utterly, hopelessly in love with Mina Lupin.

(He was hooked and would never grow tired of the feeling.)

"Would you hate me if I bought you jewelry for your birthday?" he asked. Because he was an awkward idiot.

But Mina knew that and loved him anyways. "I think Moony's head might explode," she argued. She wrapped her arms around Sirius's neck and pulled him in close. Smirking slyly, the girl added, "But I have had my eye on a new bat."

Sirius laughed and then treated his girlfriend to the first of many snogs on top of a motorbike.

xxxxxxxxxx

In case the title was confusing, Sunbeam S8 is the type of motorcycle that Sirius just received... mmm... what else...

Oh, I don't want to get anybody's hopes up, but I think things could get a bit naughty in the next chapter. Reviews might inspire me to write it faster :)


	20. Conscience

Part 20 – Conscience

"Ouch! Damnit! Padfoot!"

Remus ripped open the hangings, and Sirius's pupils promptly imploded.

"Ow, fuck," the black-haired teen complained. He tried to shield his eyes from the intense light, but all he managed was to tangle himself in the blankets. "What? What bloody time is it?"

Though he was blind, Sirius could sense Remus's annoyance. "Seeing as how this is the third time in a week I've tripped over that stupid bike, I'd say it's time for you to find somewhere else to keep your rusted monstrosity-"

"She has a _name_."

(Sirius could've sworn he heard Remus's eye begin to twitch.)

"I'm almost afraid to ask," the cranky werewolf snarled.

Huffing with mock affront, Sirius hoarsely declared, "I'm calling her Lucy. Is that alright with you, Master Lupin?"

"Depends," said Remus, "Is it after that Beatles song? The one that's supposed to be about-"

"_Picture yourself in a boat on a river, with tangerine trees and marmalade skies_-"

"Oi! Shut it!" came James's groggy, disembodied voice, "Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"_Somebody calls you. You answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes_-"

Remus was not amused by the impromptu concert, grumbling, "Is this really necessary?"

"_Cellophane flowers of yellow and green, towering over your head_-"

"S'goin on?" whined Peter.

"_Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes. And she's gone_-"

Sirius could hear James staggering out of bed as he answered, "Padfoot is being a complete knob."

"_LUCY IN THE SKY WITH DIAMONDS! LUCY IN THE SKY_- WHABLAGAFUCKHELPBLARGH!"

They fell to the floor in a tangle of lanky knees and sharp elbows as James tried his best to gag his friend with a dirty sock.

(Sirius really wished he didn't know that said sock tasted like one of Pete's.)

And of course that was the precise moment Mina appeared in the doorway, wet hair woven into a lopsided braid and crooked smirk betraying her obvious delight in Sirius's predicament. "Hope I'm not interrupting, gentlemen," the girl laughed. She dropped her satchel and bounced onto her brother's bed.

"Not at all," James grunted, forearm planted firmly on Sirius's Adam's apple, "But you might want to start looking for a new boyfriend. I'm going to strangle this one."

Mina snorted, "_Que sera_."

Sirius did his best to pout but found that the action was quite difficult when one couldn't breathe. He flipped James and sat on the lad's head. "Good morning, Sunshine," beamed Sirius, "Happy birthday."

Her radiant smile warmed his heart.

"Thanks, Paddy-cakes," she declared, "Watch those teeth."

_What a strange thing to say_, thought Sirius.

It made perfect sense a moment later when James sank his fangs into the meat of the lad's left buttock.

xxXxx

Just because Remus was better behaved than his sister didn't mean that he was by any means _well behaved_. While Mina refused to be told what to do, ever, while she rejoiced in pure chaos, Remus (unless being dragged into it by his friends) regularly skirted only a few regulations, usually only the ones to which he had moral or intellectual objections.

He drank a bit, because he thought he was old enough and didn't see the harm; he participated in illegal parties, because he studied hard and deserved some fun; he stayed out past curfew, because he enjoyed nighttime walks and generally wasn't up to anything nefarious.

But on the twins' birthday, all bets were off.

There was a tradition in place, and that tradition was to skip their morning classes (if there were any) and go on a twins-only field trip.

Remus's destination was first: the London Library. They always arrived too early and had to break in, but that just made the casual yet thorough browsing more of a thrill. When the library finally opened, Remus would volunteer to give a rousing reading of _Where the Wild Things Are _in the children's section.

The fact that he remembered was still touching every time: it was the first book Mina brought him while he was recovering from his bite in the hospital. Mina didn't know what she would've done if he hadn't survived, if she had to go even a single year without hearing him declare the start of the wild rumpus.

After a stop for breakfast (double-chocolate muffins, on that particular birthday), Mina got to choose what came next, and she liked the London Zoo. She liked to howl with the wolves and the lions and to taunt the snakes. They bought ice cream cones, and Remus chased her playfully through a half dozen exhibits when the girl threatened to ride a zebra back to school.

They were almost always able to return to the castle before lunch, but with the small delay from the other Marauders (who usually weren't even awake to see the twins off), the two Lupins only finally showed up as their friends were leaving to afternoon classes.

"'Bout time," James greeted. All his earlier crankiness had evaporated, and the speccy git cheerfully trapped first Mina and then Remus into far too affectionate hugs. "How was it, birthday twinses?" he inquired, seemingly oblivious to the uncomfortable werewolf attempting to squirm out from under his arm.

Mina rescued her brother with a shove and laughed, "Brilliant, as always. I think I'm going to like being sixteen." She found her way into Sirius's embrace and stayed there, not minding his warm, steady presence nearly half as much as James's spastic assault.

Sirius kissed her cheek, stating, "Glad to hear. Now will you please let us throw you a party?"

Rolling her eyes, the girl answered, "We already decided that we're going to have dinner in Hogsmeade. Quit nagging."

"Right," Remus agreed, "It'll be much easier this way. Mina won't get in trouble for skipping her detention, and no one will have to keep an eye on a bunch of drunk rowdy guests in the middle of the week."

"Ya," said James, "Drunk rowdy friends only school nights!"

Remus sighed, "Exactly... you should know that I invited Lily-"

James suddenly looked blissful enough to explode.

"-but," continued Remus, "Only on the condition that you _do not _speak to her, touch her, or attempt to interact in any way. She'll leave if you do."

The joy gave way to absolute heartbreak.

"Aw, cheer up, Jimbo," Mina soothed, reaching out to fluff her friend's ridiculous hair, "I'd be happy to join you in ignoring Evans."

"I think that would probably be best," Remus muttered.

They turned a corner, and an entire hallway's worth of suits of armor suddenly broke into song and dance. Red and gold confetti fell from the ceiling, coating the teens as they sprinted through. They had to keep their ears covered to block out the deafening, clanging cacophony.

"That... didn't work as well as I thought," Sirius admitted once he and the rest had finally escaped the still blaring hallway, "They weren't all supposed to sing at once. Only when you walked past each."

Mina sniggered and shook the confetti out of her hair, brushed some out of her boyfriend's. "Ya," the girl agreed, "But the birthday songs from around the world were a nice touch."

Grinning awkwardly, Sirius shrugged and muttered, "Well, you wouldn't let me throw you a party..."

xxXxx

The guest list got out of control very, very quickly. At first, the festivities included only Marauders.

But then Remus and Mina agreed they should invite Mary, and that somehow turned into Remus also inviting Evans. So Mina invited Dorcas Meadowes. Remus then realized that all the fifth-year Gryffindors except one would be in attendance, and he felt so guilty that he invited Charity Burbage (even though no one really liked the boring cow).

James petitioned to include the rest of the members of the Gryffindor quidditch team, and the twins thought that was reasonable, so sixth-years Zane Creevy and Delwyn Jones and third-year Gerald Walker all got invites as well. The Marauders made a trip down to the unicorn paddock and managed to convince Firenze that his presence was absolutely necessary.

Afterward, Remus and Mina ran into Ed Bones and Benjy Fenwick outside Arithmancy, and since the Ravenclaws were of a scant few peers that Mina didn't actively hate, the twins extended yet more invitations.

No one had any idea how Dung found out. But Dung saw fit to invite himself and the entire Ravenclaw quidditch team. According to Mary, Dung only did so because he had a thing for their newest chaser Ursula Neely; also according to Mary, young Miss Neely had repeatedly encouraged Dung to drop dead.

Mina realized that they had at least twenty people (and humanish creatures) all together, with crashers possible now that the secret was pretty well out, and that was when she also realized that the dream of a small, easy dinner with friends had slipped through their grasp. And that meant other plans were in order.

"We'll be too much of a spectacle in Hogsmeade," the girl huffed, "I suppose we can use the Astronomy Tower again, but I'll have to talk to Professor Varela. I'm not sure he's going to buy that it needs another '_cleaning_' so soon after the last one. And he did seem pretty excited about sending me outside to '_chart planets_' for detention. I think the weird old hippie is trying to '_reach me_' with kindness." So many bloody air quotes.

Remus rolled his eyes, pacing in a seldom-used hallway not far from the entrance to the Tower.

James flicked a jellybean at the stupid ballet-dancing trolls tapestry. "Maybe we can just commandeer the kitchens," he suggested, "I've always thought that the house-elves wouldn't mind a party in there. It would probably make their whole week."

"But they might mention the incident to a professor," muttered Sirius, "Even if they don't mean to. They aren't exactly the most cunning creatures. And we'll still need to keep Mina out of sight of school employees since she's supposed to be serving detention."

Nodding, Remus agreed, "So the main things are that the space has to be big enough and secluded enough." He reached the end of his pacing track and turned around to repeat his steps. "We know this castle better than anyone," the lad complained, "Have we really run out of locations to house our mischief?"

As soon as Remus passed by it, the empty stretch of wall just opposite the tapestry suddenly bloomed into an unremarkable wooden door.

They all just stared for a moment, quite gobsmacked.

And then Remus cautiously opened the mysterious door and stepped inside.

xxXxx

The party guests were sworn to secrecy and then blindfolded for good measure before being escorted to the newly discovered Most Awesome Room Ever.

There was no way the Marauders were going to let knowledge of a gem like a magically appearing room full of whatever they required out into the general public. And they _especially _weren't going to tell Dung.

Firenze needed some convincing to brave the stairs, but they swore they'd get him back down in one piece. And the unicorn trusted them. (And maybe Remus had promised him a trip to the library...)

But other than those small logistical hiccups, the event seemed to be going fairly well. It was by no means as loud or boisterous as Sirius's party, but that wasn't a bad thing. People still ate and drank and danced, but they were also able to sit and chat without having to shout or fight for space. No one hit on Sirius when Mina's back was turned, and Mina only had to threaten a single defenestration.

"Defene-what?" Dung asked woozily, sprawled over half an entire couch that no one wanted to share with him anyways.

Rolling her eyes at the squat, acne-splattered seventh-year, Mina explained, "It means I'll throw your drunk arse out the window. Now leave Neely alone. She's a second-year, for Merlins' sake. It's fucking disgusting to watch you hit on her."

Dung gazed longingly across the large common room/ballroom/banquet hall that the Most Awesome Room Ever had become after much experimentation. But finally, the older boy shrugged, ran a few grubby fingers through his mess of scraggly, unwashed ginger hair. "Whatever," he muttered, "She's a bit butch anyways. Pro'ly a lesbo. Am I allowed to smoke in here?"

Mina wanted to hit the moron but instead just sighed, "That window I was talking about? It's in the back on the way to the toilets. Don't draw attention to yourself."

"Sure," Dung agreed. He struggled to his feet and teetered for a few moments before grinning. "Got anything good for me to smoke?"

A single joint seemed a small price for having Dung out of the way, so Mina paid up, warning, "_Do not_ share with Neely or Walker. They're too young." Despite popular opinion, she did have boundaries and common sense. Certain age groups needed a bit of sheltering. Certain people never grew out of that need; Peter and Mary sprang instantly to mind.

But whatever. Mina was rid of Dung. And Sirius appeared only seconds later, quickly grabbing her hand and whisking her into a more secluded corner of the Most Awesome Room Ever.

Grinning, Mina immediately threw her arms around him and set about devouring his mouth. She couldn't help the shivers that slid down the length of her spine at the feel of his hot flesh beneath her lips and fingertips. Fingertips that drifted farther and farther down his sculpted abdomen all on their own...

But apparently Sirius had other plans, stopping her hand and peeling himself away with a trembling gasp. "Bloody hell," he panted. His crooked smirk was downright mesmerizing, as was the lively glimmer of his storm-cloud eyes. "I'm meant to be giving you the present here, Sunshine."

Mina laughed. She pressed their foreheads together and murmured, "Well, who's stopping you?"

"Not stopping so much as distracting," Sirius argued. He groped above his head for a moment, pulling down a flat rectangular package from a shadowy shelf far out of Mina's reach. It almost looked like the size of a large board game.

But she knew it wasn't a board game (Sirius wasn't that stupid), and she also knew that it wasn't a new bat (James had given her one earlier). Other than those, the girl had no clue as to what her boyfriend had chosen for her gift. And, payback being a bitch and all, he'd refused to give even the smallest hint.

So Mina _may_ have been a bit eager to find out and _may_ have shredded the shiny wrapping in a slightly embarrassing flurry.

However, embarrassment was the farthest thing from her mind when she opened the box and pulled out a short motorcycle jacket. At first, Mina thought it was made of leather, but on closer inspection, the garment appeared to have been fashioned from dragon hide. The thick, surprisingly soft black scales gleamed with a hint of deep red when the light was just right. Heavy metal zippers ran down the front and across the two vertical pockets at waist-level; a trim collar with a single snap appeared to be the only other ornamentation. A plush crimson fabric lined the interior.

Simple. Elegant. Completely bad-arse.

"Can't have you getting cold while we're riding together," Sirius declared.

Mina looked up from the jacket. She must've been staring at it for awhile because her boyfriend seemed nervous over the reaction.

She threw herself into his embrace once more, kissing him soundly and then breaking away to try on the present. "Thanks, Pads," the girl gushed as she ran her palms over the sleek hide, "It's brilliant! I love it!"

Sirius's self-doubt melted away in a split second, replaced by a much more typical expression of smug satisfaction. "Well," he said, spinning the girl and admiring the trim fit, "You make it look good."

Before Mina could continue thanking the lad (and she had some damn good thanks in mind, too), a teenage centaur and a teenage werewolf interrupted with timid hoof beats and an annoyed throat clear (respectively).

"Firenze needs to get back," Remus announced, arms crossed, "He wants to give us our presents before we help him down the stairs."

"Aw," Mina pouted, "Alright. Thanks for coming, Renz. It was cool having you."

A smidge unsteady after the few beers they'd managed to talk him into, Firenze smiled and replied, "You are welcome. Thank you for inviting me." He dug into his satchel and handed first Mina and then Remus a small wood carving.

Mina's was a baby unicorn, an exact replica of Sailor at his most playful. The girl almost expected the piece to come alive in her palm.

Remus's was no less impressive, a tiny open book with impossibly thin pages frozen mid flutter in a phantom breeze.

Before either twin could react, Firenze produced one more carving and handed it to Sirius. "Forgive me," the centaur declared, "I did not finish yours in time."

Sirius's was a motorbike. The details were amazingly accurate, especially considering Firenze had only ever seen the life-size counterpart (or any similar machine) once for a few hours while Mina was hiding it near the paddock.

"Wow," said Remus, awestruck, "They're gorgeous. You really made these?"

Firenze seemed confused as to who else might've crafted the small sculptures. "Yes," he replied softly, "My mother is teaching me. She is far more skilled than I am."

Mina stepped forward and gave the centaur an awkward hug around his torso. "You are so weirdly modest," she laughed, "But thanks. They're absolutely lovely."

"Ya, mate," Sirius agreed, shaking the uncomfortable creature's hand once Mina released him, "Cheers."

Firenze seemed to be attempting to hide a rather impressive blush behind his rather impressive pale hair. He cleared his throat, "Yes. Well. You are welcome... I should be going."

"Sure," said Mina, "Remus and I will levitate you down... don't worry. We're both more or less sober."

The _more or less _part of that equation gave Firenze pause, but he wasn't exactly in a state to argue.

xxXxx

After that night, life began to move quite quickly. Following an unremarkable full moon, the Marauders celebrated James's birthday in the Astronomy Tower. Most of the student body showed up for the rowdy festivities, but Evans turned down repeated invitations; James remained sulky the whole night.

Sirius sent away almost constantly for motorcycle parts, and by mid-April, he finally got the bike to start up... for about twenty seconds. Even though the engine then blew up in his face and nearly started his bed on fire, he spent the rest of the day grinning like a buffoon, stealing kisses that made Mina have to fight an equally absurd expression.

April also marked the month that Remus really began freaking out about the upcoming OWLs. He filled every spare moment with studying and generally wasn't much fun. Mina could only do her best to make sure he ate while they all waited out his insanity.

And it wasn't all bad. She and Sirius got plenty of alone time... he was still taking their relationship rather slow though, with just a bit (a lot) of heated snogging in any convenient location. Mina was surprised by just how easy it was to be his girlfriend, like being his friend but with far more tongue.

The Slytherin quidditch team destroyed the Hufflepuff team in early May, but Gryffindor was so far ahead in points that they were a lock for the Cup. James still put a ridiculous amount of manic energy into increased practices, which usually only ended after many hours and many, _many _threats of mutiny.

A few days before the match, Mina had a rare crisis of conscience.

She never considered herself a bad person, but... well, being good all the time was so much work. And so, _so_ much less fun. At worst, the girl had decided that she possessed a certain brutal honesty, bleak world-view, and dark sense of humor that most of her peers would never understand. And she was fine with that; she didn't understand them either, with their tiresome social niceties and purposeful ignorance of the cruelty and treachery being perpetrated all around them.

The weather had vastly improved, turning sunny and melting away the snow, so the Marauders had been eating lunch outside in the shade of a big old tree every chance they got. Remus studied furiously and ignored his friends, but the rest made the most of their time outdoors. On that particular Wednesday, they were having a relay race, Mina and Sirius versus James and Peter. One half of each duo would cling to the other's back for three laps around the trunk; then they would switch who was the rider and who was the mount.

When it was her turn to lug her boyfriend around, Mina kept toppling over at the sharp turns. But Sirius didn't seem to mind... and anyways, they were never going to have a chance at winning if he didn't keep his hands out from under her shirt...

"Uh, hi... um... excuse me..."

Mina sneered up at the intruder... intruders, the blonde, dopey-eyed Macmillan brothers. Ernest was a Hufflepuff in their grade, slight and soft-spoken and _super_ fey; Abner was a seventh-year Ravenclaw, and, though Mina couldn't think of what she could've possibly done to earn it, the burly lad gave her a look of hatred that very well might've curdled milk.

"What?" Mina demanded. She groaned as James ran past, huffing and puffing under Peter's substantial weight. "Time out, you bloody tossers!"

They grumbled a bit but seemed grateful for the break.

Fidgeting nervously with his tie, Ernest asked, "Well... I was just wondering... would you mind if I talked to you for a moment... alone?"

Mina felt Sirius tense possessively beneath her, but then he seemed to remember that the little Hufflepuff wasn't into girls and relaxed. Though not entirely.

The sandy-haired teen rolled her eyes, taunting, "Whatever you think I did, I'm either not guilty or not sorry. So get the fuck over it."

"No... I..." stuttered Ernest, "It's not that... I just... please? It'll only take a second."

Merlin. How did anyone stand going through life so timid?

Mina groaned but stood and followed the brothers out of earshot of the others. She waited expectantly.

Ernest took a deep breath. He appeared to be carefully plotting a lengthy speech but at the last second just blurted, "I'm gay."

"I know," answered Mina. She frowned at him in confusion.

"You do?" Ernest squeaked, all wide-eyed.

Abner put a massive hand on his brother's skinny shoulder, curtly explaining, "What Ern means is that he's decided to come out. I just want to make sure that no one is going to give him any problems."

"Problems..." Mina repeated, the word churning uncomfortably in her mind, "You think I'm some sort of gay basher?"

Ernest shook his head; Abner continued to glare.

Rolling her eyes, Mina angrily hissed, "Of all the idiotic things to assume... just because I'm a bitch doesn't mean I'm a bigot!"

"You don't exactly have a reputation for being kind to others," said Abner.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Mina snarled, trying not to shout and bring her friends running, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm equally _unkind_ to everybody. That's just who I am." She glared at Ernest. "I would hope you at least could respect the fact that I'm not trying to hide the way I was born and the way I choose to live my life, unpopular though they may be."

Thoroughly embarrassed, Ernest turned pink and muttered, "I'm sorry... Ab thought... he's just protective."

Mina took a deep breath. Forced herself to remain calm. Finally, she stated, "And that's the only reason I'm going to let him walk away with all his teeth."

It was the first time Abner's stony expression faltered. Despite being large and looking intimidating, he was really more of a nerd than an enforcer. He didn't even play quidditch, and Merlin knew their team could've desperately used a few more physically impressive members.

Ernest dragged his brother away by the arm, repeating, "Sorry."

Being accused of being a Death Eater had been bad enough, but at least that was somewhat related to Mina's showing up in the wrong place at the wrong time and talking back when she probably shouldn't have. But now apparently people had turned being afraid of her into thinking she was some sort of hate-filled psychopath.

And that was unacceptable. Because there were hate-filled psychopaths in the world, including plenty at Hogwarts. They'd probably sooner slit Ernest's throat than allow him to share their oxygen.

Mina had no desire to be lumped in with them, even in error.

She realized that that meant she cared what other people thought of her and immediately felt ill.

"You alright, Sunshine?" Sirius asked when she returned to slump at his side. He put an arm around her shoulders. "What'd they want?"

Mina _did not_ want to talk about the incident. "Just inquiring about our Herbology project," the girl lied, "Dung must be running his mouth."

Sirius laughed, "Well, we'll see how talkative he is when we cut off his supply. Wanker."

xxXxx

By that night, the whole school was buzzing with the salacious news. Though, honestly, Sirius didn't actually think it had been worth announcing. He assumed that most people already knew; those who didn't were probably the ones who were going to act like arseholes when they found out, so there wasn't any upside.

But the teen really didn't care where Ernest Macmillan chose to stick his cock (and didn't understand why anyone would, unless they were interested in being on the receiving end). Sirius was more concerned with the fact that Mina had obviously lied about the subject of her conversation with the lad.

What reason could she have possibly had to lie about something that was going to be made public in a few hours anyways?

The question irked him. But his girlfriend had been sullen and silent and disappeared after their last class, muttering some excuse about wanting to change her shoes and then not showing up to dinner.

Of course Sirius went looking for her, expecting to find the girl serving detention with the Astronomy professor, who had been poaching her punishment hours away from Hagrid and the unicorns.

But she hadn't shown up to detention, either. Sirius (being an excellent boyfriend) explained to Professor Varela that Mina wasn't feeling well and had sent him to apologize. Professor Varela (being rather fond of the only student who never complained about middle-of-the-night classes) said to tell her to get well soon and, just this once, not to worry about making up the time.

A look at the Map revealed Mina to be pacing inside the staff suite attached to the Defense classroom, which had been standing empty ever since she'd driven away the latest instructor.

"Sunshine?"

She growled and kicked over a small wooden chair, fists clenched and shaking at her sides. "Go away!"

With an uneasy laugh, Sirius stepped inside and closed the door. "Bet you a galleon that's not going to happen," he teased.

The furniture was sparse, only a few pieces that Mina hadn't gotten around to smashing.

(It had been awhile since she'd indulged in rage-fueled vandalism, and Sirius had to worry about what set off the rampage.)

"Go _away_!" the girl repeated. She hurled a picture frame across the room, shrieking along with the sound of shattering glass.

"No thanks," answered Sirius, sitting in the one unbroken chair, "But don't let me stop you. I'll wait."

She snarled and then turned to topple an empty bookcase, stomping it to kindling. But that was the last act of destruction, Sirius's presence having apparently derailed her crazy train. (Which he meant in the most loving way possible.)

Mina sniffled angrily. "Padfoot?" she asked, staring out a half-smashed window, "Am I a bad person?"

"What?" Sirius gaped, "No, of course not, love. Why would you think that?"

The girl glared at him, a _you've met me, right?_ sort of look.

Though he tried not to, Sirius laughed. "C'mon, Sunshine," he said, "Just because you're not normal doesn't mean you're bad... you're the best person I know."

"That's bullshit," she replied, "At some point, there has to be something to the fact that everyone thinks I'm evil... maybe I am... maybe I just can't tell because I'm so fucked in the head. I don't want to care what they think, but what if they're _right_?"

"You don't have an evil bone in your entire body," soothed Sirius. He stood and slowly approached his girlfriend, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head. "You see evil things, cruelty and cowardice and stupidity, and they make you angry. You do whatever it takes to make them stop. And I guess people are afraid of that because they feel bad about not being brave enough to do the same, to stand up and fight for what's right like you've been doing your whole life... am I making any sense?"

Mina turned in his embrace, hiding her face against his chest as she nodded and squeezed him back. "Thanks, Pads," she murmured, "I needed to hear that."

"Any time, Sunshine."

They stood there for awhile, wrapped up in each other. Finally, Mina leaned back far enough to peer up at him, smiling weakly. "You're really quite good at this boyfriend thing," she observed mischievously.

Sirius grinned, unable to help a tremendous swelling of pride.

Then Mina rose up on tiptoes to kiss him gently, and Sirius had to worry about swelling in other areas as well...

xxXxx

She took him by the hand and led him back into the empty bedroom, only an old four-poster and bare mattress in the tiny space. The ceiling seemed lower, the stone walls a shade darker; together with the warm stale air, the effect was a bit claustrophobic. But in a really good way...

Mina shoved Sirius down onto the bed, flat on his back with his legs dangling off the edge. She straddled him, rocking their hips together as she suckled at the smooth column of his throat.

Eyes closed and dark hair askew, moaning quietly, Sirius didn't seem to notice at all when Mina stripped off her jacket and started undoing the buttons on her shirt, nor when she slid the garment off her shoulders and tossed it away.

She was sure that Sirius hadn't noticed when he fitted his hands around her bare waist and immediately opened his eyes in surprise.

She giggled at his flabbergasted expression, explaining simply, "Got sick of waiting for you to do it."

Sirius flapped his mouth open and closed a few times. He appeared torn over whether to stare into Mina's face (searching for signs that the girl was messing with him) or at her tits (because... well... tits...).

Then he seemed to sort of... snap.

With a growl, Sirius surged up, luckily wrapped his arms around Mina or else she might've fallen off his lap in surprise. Chests press tight together, the teens kissed wetly, all teeth and tongues. Sirius's nibble fingers scrambled at the clasp of Mina's bra, his other hand palming her arse as she ground down on top of the hardening bulge in his trousers.

Mina worked on getting rid of Sirius's shirt, shivering when she finally felt him unclasp her unremarkable red bra and tease it down her arms. Her stomach was all full of knots. Mostly excitement. Also fear. Like she'd just jumped off a cliff, not believing she'd actually done it but thoroughly enjoying the fall.

Then Sirius got his mouth around one of her nipples, licking and sucking it into an achingly hard peak as his goatee scratched at the sensitive skin of her breast.

(How was anyone supposed to keep thinking with that going on?)

Sweating and shivering, pushing forward for more, Mina got frustrated and ripped the last few buttons on Sirius's shirt, sliding her hands over the newly exposed flesh of his muscled stomach and chest, his taut shoulders.

He mumbled ticklishly into her left tit. The only half-coherent word sounded like _beautiful_.

The girl squirmed at the sensation, unable to stop a shocked moan at the liquid fire that immediately settled between her thighs.

Laughing, Sirius kissed her sternum (tender and sweet) and then switched his attention to the other nipple. He flattened his wet tongue against it, lapping slowly like a dog.

Mina one-handedly did away with his belt buckle and the zip on his trousers.

Sirius stopped her before she could get any farther. "Sunshine," he panted, "You... you don't have to-"

"Of course I don't _have to_," Mina said with a pronounced eye roll, "I want to. Now, I suggest you put your big mouth to back work in other ways besides complaining."

The flustered lad gaped for a moment. Then smirked. "So bossy," he purred, nuzzling her collarbones, thumb flicking lazily at a nipple.

"You love it," Mina teased. She fumbled with his underwear before grabbing his cock.

Hissing, Sirius bucked into her fist.

While he took a moment to gather some composure, Mina inspected the hard rod of flesh in her hand. The girl had heard rumors that Sirius was quite well-endowed, but, not having any basis for comparison, Mina couldn't confirm or deny. His cock was quite thick (or maybe her hand was just small, fingers unable to wrap completely around). Long and veiny, slightly purple at the flared head. Not quite straight, curving in toward his naval. She stroked once up and down, marveling at the unexpectedly soft skin and at Sirius's full-body shudder.

"How am I doing so far?" Mina murmured, nibbling his ear.

Struggling to breathe normally, Sirius responded, "G-Great."

Mina snickered. She let her hand glide along his length, slowly building speed.

Damn thing throbbed in her grip and seemed to be growing slightly.

Not even a full minute in, Sirius quivered and moaned and came all over his stomach.

"Alright then," said Mina, wiping her hand on the mattress.

Sirius had the grace to blush. "Sorry," he muttered, taking off his ripped shirt and using it to wipe himself up, tucking his dick away, "It's, uh, been awhile..."

"Since you had a hand on your cock that wasn't your own?" Mina guessed.

Sirius nodded, his blush seeming to intensify.

But Mina just couldn't stop grinning. "Good," she replied, "Better keep it that way or I won't touch it anymore either."

Sirius threw away his soiled shirt, snorting, "Sunshine, you're the only girl I ever even think about since-" He cut himself off, looking away shyly.

Mina had no guess for that one but couldn't very well let it go. "Since?"

He chewed on his bottom lip, clearly waging a heated internal debate. Finally, he reached forward to cradle her cheek, whispering, "Since I realized that I'm in love with you."

It was Mina's turn to struggle for breath, the girl gazing into Sirius's stormy gray eyes and seeing complete sincerity. Utter devotion.

Still, she gave a nervous laugh and joked, "When was that? Right after I unzipped your trousers?"

Sirius didn't laugh, held onto her hips to keep the girl on his lap.

(Mina hadn't noticed herself starting to pull away.)

"Nearly a year," he murmured, "Probably longer, actually, but it took me awhile to figure it out..."

She didn't know what to say. Felt far more naked at the idea of returning the words than she had at the idea of taking off her top.

Sirius kissed her softly. "Relax, Sunshine," he soothed, "I don't expect you to say anything, especially since I probably shouldn't have either, at least not yet..." With a wide grin, he added, "But I'll stop making you uncomfortable now and _put my big mouth back to work in other ways_."

Trust a Marauder to break the tension with a joke.

After easily picking the girl up and laying her down onto her back on the mattress, Sirius bent over her and kissed and licked his way down her chest and stomach. He paused when he got to her trousers, nuzzling her sharp hipbones.

Mina felt distinctly... alive. Her whole body alive and humming, every nerve ending going haywire for more. She moaned quietly, guiding his hand to her zipper.

That was all the invitation that Sirius needed. He quickly stripped her down to her knickers, pausing for a moment to simply marvel at the girl spread out beneath him.

Mina gave a shrieking giggle when he nipped at her thigh, gave a bright smile when he lied down beside her. Gave a stuttering gasp when he slid his fingers down the front of her knickers and into her wet folds.

She moaned into Sirius's mouth, his tongue sliding wetly against her own as his fingers did the same against her clit, plunging down to gather the moisture pooled at her slit. The girl might've been embarrassed at how damp and slick she was... if she still had the capacity to care.

Bucking against the hand in her knickers and the one palming her tits, Mina concentrated on breathing, on letting the exquisite sensations take her over... especially when that talented tongue travelled down to her nipples again...

It was likely a testament to Sirius's skill that she came so quickly, not quite as quickly as he had, but still. Her head flew back, her belly tensed. She was caught up in a building wave of pleasure that crashed through her, sudden rushing electric heat.

Then she was nestled securely in Sirius's arms, panting against his chest. She could almost feel him smirking, obviously proud of himself.

He was such a smug bastard, but at least in that case, he certainly had a right to be.

However, Mina had never been one to simply enjoy her own good fortune. "You really don't think I'm evil?" she inquired, tracing the firm cuts of muscle that rippled his abdomen.

"No," Sirius chuckled, "Angry and stubborn and almost always disagreeable, but never evil."

She could feel sweat cooling. Could feel Sirius's heart going wild beneath her cheek. "And... you're still in love with me?"

"Mhmm," the black-haired teen hummed.

She still couldn't say it back. "Well..." the girl declared instead, "I... think you're pretty great, too."

Sirius's deep chuckle rumbled through them both. "Sweet talker," the young man playfully accused, giving her arse a light squeeze.

With the tension broken yet again, Mina was able to laugh and relax.

xxXxx

To be honest, Sirius's first instinct was to brag. He had in the past, told tales of his conquests until Remus or James or both got frustrated and started hexing... or until Pete began to take too close an interest...

But everything was different with Mina. Sure, Sirius wanted to shout from every tower that his girl was sexy and beautiful and let him touch her fun parts, but he also felt a much stronger urge to keep it all to himself forever and ever. Because she was his, and he was hers, and what went on between them was _theirs_ and no one else's.

And the selfish choice also had the benefit of being the wiser one; there was no telling what Mina or her brother or even James might do if Sirius didn't keep his mouth shut. Pete would undoubtedly ask for details, and then Sirius would have to hurt him...

Sirius thought about all these things as they walked toward the kitchens, his arm wrapped around the gorgeous girl tucked against his side.

She was quiet again, but not quite as distracted and gloomy as earlier in the day; Mina seemed... content. Not freaked out or full of regret. Actually, aside from hunger, the girl had no complaints at all.

And Sirius couldn't get over how achingly gorgeous she looked with her hair mussed and her lips swollen.

They turned a corner, and she stopped suddenly, listening.

Sirius perked up his own Animagus senses and was quickly able to detect sounds of a struggle in the direction of the Slytherin common room. Someone kicking at the stone floors, shouting for help through a gag.

Wands out, they took off running and very soon located the source of the commotion:

Four Slytherins, all fifth-years, gathered around a bound figure on the floor. From what Sirius could tell, Jonathan Avery, Waldomar Wilkes, and Evan Rosier were doing the torturing. But (surprise, surprise) Severus Snape didn't lift a finger to stop them, hanging back and watching with rapt interest while his cronies laughed and burned Ernest Macmillan's face, taunting the poor boy and getting closer and closer to his right eye...

Before Sirius could suggest a plan, Mina had already sprinted the length of the hallway and launched herself at Wilkes back, tackling him to the ground and punching the base of his skull hard enough to knock the much larger lad out cold.

Startled, the other three backed off Ernest, but they didn't take long at all to begin throwing curses at their lithe attacker.

Mina rolled away quickly, putting up shields. She let them chase her for nearly a dozen strides away from Ernest before she finally returned fire.

The Slytherins didn't seem to have noticed Sirius at all. Which was what allowed him a brief moment to check on Macmillan (conscious but terrified, still with sight in both eyes) before joining Mina in the fray.

Between the two of them, they had Avery, Rosier, and Snape trapped. The numbers weren't entirely even, but close enough. Mina seemed to be doing fine, and as long as she was, then Sirius was as well. The Marauders had the element of surprise.

Until Snape shouted a spell that suddenly filled the hallway with thick green-gray fog.

Sirius couldn't see, had to struggle to breathe as the foul mixture displaced all the oxygen. But he kept casting, hoping that he wouldn't hit his girlfriend on accident... that she wouldn't hit him.

A moment later, the fog was gone. So were all the Slytherins.

Mina limped over, still coughing, holding her ribs and bleeding from a small scrape on her forehead. "Get him," she demanded, pointing at Ernest, "And let's go. Before they come back with their whole bloody House."

She had a point.

After being untied and helped to his feet, Ernest was able to walk on his own. He held his hand over his cheek, where he'd suffered the worst burn. "You should come hide in my common room until you're sure their gone," he suggested weakly.

(Sirius had never understood whose bright idea it was to place the Slytherin and Hufflepuff living quarters so close together, let alone on the same subterranean level. It was like storing your pet mouse in an owl's cage.)

"Fuck that," Mina grumbled, "I'm still hungry."

xxXxx

While Mina ate, Sirius called James over their two-way mirrors and explained the situation. James promised to round up the rest of the Marauders and meet them at the kitchens.

It was a sad state of affairs, but they'd need the numbers to get back safely. Any lurking Slytherins wouldn't dare attack the Marauders as a group.

But whatever. Mina was just glad that the house-elves had fetched her some dinner without asking questions about her scraped and bruised forehead. It seemed to be the worst of her injuries, and she'd actually done it to herself, falling against the floor a bit too hard when she tackled Wilkes.

(Snape hit her with something in the ribs while she was leading them away, but she hadn't heard what the spell was. And the initial pain had already faded to a dull ache in her chest. Though the girl was still coughing a bit, her throat probably irritated by that weird vomit-colored fog.)

"Sit still already," Sirius scolded, grabbing Ernest by the chin and swatting the skinny blonde's hand away from his burns, "The longer you leave it, the more likely it'll scar."

Ernest fidgeted but forced his arms down to his sides, knuckles white. "A-Are you sure you know what you're doing?" he stammered.

"Of course he does," Mina snapped, "Pads is great with healing spells."

Her boyfriend beamed at the praise. "You heard the lady," he laughed, taking advantage of the momentary distraction to cast the charms, "There. See for yourself."

Turning toward a large shiny pot, Ernest ghosted his fingertips along the newly restored skin of his face. "Wow," he said, impressed, "T-Thanks."

"No problem," replied Sirius. He came over to Mina, poking at her scrape while she tried to shove him off. "The good news is that I don't think they meant to permanently disfigure you," he told the Hufflepuff, "They could've if they'd wanted. So the arseholes were probably just bored."

"Bored?" Ernest repeated. He began to hyperventilate. "I-I should've listened to Abner. He said this would happen if I came out."

Mina shrugged. "Well, ya," she agreed, "People are bastards, especially inbred ones." She hacked into her fist for a few moments before clearing her throat and adding, "But fuck 'em. This is on you."

"M-Me? W-What?"

Rolling her eyes, Mina explained, "You're tiny and queer, and you let your big brother, who no one is afraid of, by the way, go around threatening everyone to leave you alone. Of course you're going to get your arse kicked. If you want a chance in hell of living to see graduation, then I'd suggest standing up for yourself. The best way would be to publically beat the crap out of the next person to so much as whisper about you."

Ernest looked to be getting more terrified by the second. "I-I can't do that," he insisted, "I-I've never hit anyone in my life!"

Mina shrugged. She started coughing again, but this time, when she looked down at her hand, it was splattered with blood. "Fuck," she muttered, trying to keep Sirius from seeing. The last thing she wanted was to end up in the Hospital Wing.

But, then again... maybe that was exactly what she wanted...

xxXxx

Starting a rumor at Hogwarts was almost too easy. Starting a fake rumor on purpose in order to manipulate the entire student body hardly required any effort at all, if you knew who to pay off.

Dung was the obvious choice; for a bit of grass, he spread the story to Chloe Bell and Charity Burbage and Amelia Bones, who all had big mouths and _despised_ Mina and didn't waste a single second telling anyone and everyone that she spent the night in the Hospital Wing because Ernest Macmillan hexed her for calling him an arse-bandit.

Even though Mina had to endure several hours of hacking up blood courtesy of the hex that actually came from Snape (that Madam Mary took her sweet arse time trying to counter), the girl considered the whole endeavor a victory.

No one was going to mess with Ernest after he was rumored to have stood up to a Marauder, especially Mina. And Mina could remain just as cordial as always to the lad, making her moron fellow students think that she'd learned her lesson and that maybe she wasn't evil incarnate.

Without Ernest or Mina ever having to confirm or deny the series of events.

Win-win.

Except James couldn't keep quiet.

When he badgered Evans that morning as usual, she immediately used what she'd heard of the incident as evidence of how cruel and horrible he and all his friends were and why he should stay away from her forever.

So he pulled the redhead aside and admitted that they'd faked the rumor.

She didn't believe him.

Frustrated, James told her to ask Snape who'd hexed Mina and why. Then he walked away.

Mina was so proud. And also annoyed, but still. Progress for Prongs.

But Evans didn't ask Snape (not that even he would've been stupid enough to admit his part in the incident); the redhead cornered Mina in the shower that night.

Mina had barely gotten the towel around her body when Evans ripped back the curtain.

"What the fucking fuck?" the young Animagus yelped, slipping on the wet tiles for a moment before catching herself against the stall wall.

"Tell me what happened with Ernest," Evans demanded, "Right now!"

Mina gaped at her. "Get the fuck out of my shower _right now_!" she replied, "Do you have a bloody death wish, you mad slag-"

"I heard the story," the redhead interrupted, actually sort of... desperate? hopeful? desperately hopeful? "But Potter is saying... Which one is true? Severus didn't... it was just you, right?"

Rolling her eyes, Mina coyly answered, "I have no idea what you're talking about. And unless this is the psychotic break that will finally have you shipped off and out of my life forever, then _go away, bitch_." Mina shoved the girl hard, stomping past her.

Of all the possible reactions, Evans's sudden sob came completely out of nowhere and quickly descended into helpless blubbering.

Mina stared. "Are you serious right now?" the Marauder inquired, squirming uncomfortably. Watching an adversary cry in front of her was just embarrassing. "Stop it! Merlin's sake... I'll tell you what really happened if you quit bawling!"

Evans nodded, sniffled a few more times and wiped her snotty face on a handkerchief.

"It was four of them," Mina explained quietly, "Avery, Wilkes, Rosier, and your pal Snape. From what I saw, Snape didn't take part in holding Ernest down or _burning his face_, but the greasy freak certainly seemed to enjoy watching. Satisfied?"

Actually, Evans looked quite ill. "H-How did you end up in the Hospital Wing then?"

Mina shrugged. "I broke up their little party, and, during the ensuing chaos, Snivellus hexed me. In the back. With something quite dark. The nurse said it was slowly dissolving my lungs, thanks for asking."

Evans began to cry again. "He's not really a bad person," she insisted, like she was trying more to convince herself, "We've known each other since we were small, and he was never like this. I-It's those thugs he hangs out with. They... they're changing him..."

"People don't change," argued Mina, getting cold standing there in only a wet towel, "They let down their guards and expose whatever's been inside all along."

The taller girl shook her head frantically, claiming, "I don't believe that."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Believe what you want," she growled, finally stomping off to dress, "Just don't whine to me about it."

xxXxx

That weekend, Gryffindor trounced Hufflepuff and won the Quidditch Cup. No one was particularly surprised.

The victory celebration went forward as usual, but it lacked a bit of jubilance. With OWLs and NEWTs just around the corner, very few people drank at all, and only Dung got shitfaced.

Since having a bouncer wasn't really necessary during such a low-key function, Mina mainly hid upstairs with Sirius, who was suffering a self-diagnosed mild concussion after taking a grazing blow from a bludger during the game. He wanted to sleep, and she wanted to avoid the party, so everything worked out pretty well. In between waking him to check for brain damage every twenty minutes or so, Mina lounged with the young man on his bed, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest.

She cleared her throat, practicing. "Pads... I just want you to know..."

That was stupid.

"Sirius, I... I l-love..."

Fucking hell. Why'd it have to be so difficult? It was just a statement of fact like any other.

The sky was blue, the earth was round, and Mina loved Sirius. Was falling more and more pathetically in love with him every damn moment.

No one else, not even her brother, understood the girl as well as Sirius did. He knew that she was short-tempered and crass, that she could sometimes be irrational and self-destructive. And he never tried to change her, never made an annoying disappointed face when she did something abnormal.

He loved her. Just the way she was.

And the least she could do in return was find the courage to let him know that she felt exactly the same. Because he was a massive dork but still somehow the coolest person she'd ever met. Because he was arrogant but also endearingly insecure. Because he was brilliant without even trying. Because he laughed and loved and lusted harder than anyone else, all-in all the time. Because he was wild and goofy and unpredictable and charming and sweet and chivalrous and bold and... and because he was beautiful, head to toe, inside and out.

"Padfoot. Sirius Orion Black... what would you say if I told you I love you?"

"Mmm... well, first I'd ask if I was dreaming..."

Mina sat up, startled, and blushed down at her boyfriend.

He smirked slowly, drowsy gaze absolutely adoring. "Because that sounds like a dream come true, Sunshine," he murmured, squeezing her hand and then gently bringing it to his lips, "But you still don't have to-"

"Of course I don't _have to_," Mina interrupted, tenderly tucking a stray lock of fringe behind his ear, tracing the rugged line of his jaw, "I want to... I do want to, Pads... I... I just..."

The door flew open with a deafening _BANG_.

While Sirius whimpered and clutched at his poor bruised brain, Mina glared at the intruders: James and Peter, who carried Dung's squat half-conscious body between them.

Oblivious, James dragged the Ravenclaw to the largest pile of laundry in the room and dropped him there. "Fuckin 'ell," the bespectacled lad panted, "He is a heavy drunk."

Dung snorted and snuggled into the dirty underpants and almost immediately began to snore.

"Feeling any better, Padfoot?" James inquired.

Sirius stared at him. Then back up at Mina, smiling sappily. "Much."

xxxxxxxxxx

There it is, kiddies. Another exciting installment.

Reviews are love :)


	21. Shit

Part 21 – Shit

Mina generally thought of fate as a stupid ape: it flung handfuls of shit around for no reason, with no regard to where they would land or the stinking messes they'd leave.

And June 1976 was one of the shittiest examples on record.

The month held little hope; that much was apparent right from the beginning. OWLs loomed threateningly, due to start on Monday the 7th, and the entire fifth year had fallen into the grip of frenzied cramming. Not even the Marauders were immune to the effects.

Remus over-studied his arse off and (on the rare occasions he was seen outside the library) only spoke to the others to "strongly encourage" them to do the same. Peter panicked and convinced himself that he would fail everything, constantly begging for help with tears in his eyes.

The others didn't get hit quite as badly, but they did have to devote more time than usual to homework and reading. Which in Sirius and James's case meant that they had to actually do both. Mina gave up weed and took to studying during the day as well as when she couldn't sleep.

"Fuck this fucking bullshit subject!" she snarled, hurling her Potions book against the wall so hard that the abused text finally exploded in a cascade of loose pages.

Sirius sighed, slung his arm around her shoulders and soothed, "I know, love."

She pushed him away. "Don't fucking patronize me, you fucking prick!" the girl shouted, earning the librarian's most scandalized _shhhhhh_.

The saddest pout in Sirius's repertoire.

Mina immediately felt horrible. "Sorry," she grumbled, squeezing her boyfriend's hand.

He shrugged and fixed her book with a lazy wand wave. "It's not your fault," Sirius argued, "Nothing good ever comes from studying. How many times have I said that?"

"Every time we study," murmured James, inexplicably sprawled face-down on top of the table, "So... twice?"

Sirius looked like he was going to thwap the lad on the back of the head but, after thinking for a moment, decided, "Ya, that's about right."

"I hate you both," complained Mina.

"You're just as brilliant," James muttered into the tabletop, "But you've also unfortunately inherited Moony's crazy nerd gene."

"Have not."

"Have so."

"Have not."

"Have so."

"Have not."

"Have so."

With a strangled groan, Sirius interrupted, "Can we please switch to a more interesting argument?"

James snorted. "Like when you're going to quit smearing engine grease all over everything in our room?"

"Just like that," Sirius announced brightly, "But not that. Maybe something to do with the frightening state of Wormtail's back hair?"

"Nothing to argue about there," Mina pointed out, "We all agree it's disgusting, but the little rat always manages to wriggle away when I try to wax him."

Sirius patted her hand, getting dangerously close to patronizing again as he declared, "I'm sure you'll succeed someday soon, Sunshine."

"And then you can write a book about your experiences," James excitedly contributed. He turned his head and grinned, ridiculous jet hair a puddle spilling over the tome he was using as a pillow. "You'll be a rich, famous author, and you won't have to worry about OWL scores at all."

Mina smiled, liking the sound of that plan. "I'll call it _Waxing Wormtail: a Tale of Triumph_."

"That's absolutely absurd," Evans remarked. Somehow, she'd once again managed to use her creepy ginger ninja powers to approach completely unnoticed.

James cursed, immediately trying to restore himself to a more respectable position; the only thing he managed to do was roll off the table and roughly onto the floor.

Ignoring her friend's exaggerated wails of agony, Mina drawled, "Apparently I've been too subtle in expressing how little I care about your opinions."

Evans rolled her eyes. "Like you're capable of being subtle," she declared, "Hagrid wants to see us right away. He sent word that it's urgent."

"STUDY BREAK!" cried Sirius. With one powerful swing of his arms, he swept the table clean of books and parchments. Then the lad jumped to his feet, threw Mina over his shoulder, and sprinted out of the library.

Mina had never been more glad that she'd switched to wearing trousers.

xxXxx

By the time the group arrived at the unicorn paddock, Firenze was already packed and ready to leave. Buttercup and Sailor were only still there because the young centaur had spent nearly an hour begging his mother to wait to release them back into the wild.

"Please," the pale teenager insisted, actually standing in the way of the gate, "It will just be a few more minutes. And it will mean a lot to them."

Several heads taller and several shades darker, the bare-chested female centaur (Mina remembered that her name was Elda) glared icily down at her son. She stamped her hooves, impatient, and drawled, "You forget yourself, child. This time with the humans has obviously taught you nothing of use."

"Says you, bitch," growled Mina. She dashed past and vaulted over the fence with well-practiced ease.

Sailor ran right over, spooked but eager as always to see her. He'd grown so much in the past weeks, golden and lanky, finally steady but still kind of goofy on his skinny legs.

Mina threw her arms around his little neck, hugged him hard and did her best to fight back the unexpected wave of tears.

She failed _spectacularly_.

Later, she couldn't help feeling humiliated. It wasn't exactly dignified, blubbering like that out where everyone could see. But at the time, all that mattered was the fact that her friends were being taken away.

Not that she was really paying attention, but the next thing Mina remembered hearing was hoof beats venturing closer. An unfamiliar hand rested on her shoulder.

"Child," Elda said, much softer and sweeter than before, "I know you love this animal. But he must be free."

"Of course I know," Mina replied, "I knew from the start. Doesn't mean I'm not sad that I'll never see them again." She sniffled, wiping her eyes and nose on her arm. "Could you just fuck off for a moment?"

The centaur gave a surprising laugh. "For someone with so much Sight," she said, "You are surprisingly blind."

Mina really didn't understand what the spooky bitch (mare?) was talking about. Instead, the young woman declared, "Merlin's mangy merkin, this is bad enough without your asinine chatter."

Elda stared like she was staring right through Mina. The centaur shook her head, quietly remarking, "Such a complex creature."

"Name-calling is not a good idea," said Mina, "I always win. Don't you have some sugar cubes to eat or an enormous, awkwardly timed shit to take?"

That comment got the desired reaction: Elda huffed and stamped away, scandalized.

Mina stroked Sailor's mane, doing her best to memorize his scent. Maybe someday she would get lucky and find him in the forest...

Sirius was the one who finally managed to talk her away from Sailor. He put his arm around her, let the girl hide her face against his chest.

She pulled herself together quickly after that, already smudging her puffy eyes dry as she approached Firenze.

"See you around, Ponyboy," Mina laughed, "Feel free to visit."

They shared watery smiles, and Firenze replied, "Don't worry. Our paths will cross again."

xxXxx

So, ya, June started off bad and kept getting worse.

With no unicorns to look after, Hagrid had no reason to claim any more of Mina's detention debt. The Astronomy professor would've been the next least annoying option, but Varela was so busy preparing his students for exams that he didn't have time to even pretend to make up busywork for Mina. In fact, all the professors were too busy. And that meant having to spend evenings with Mr. Filch.

"Shameless delinquent."

His usual routine was to hiss insults until Mina could no longer resist telling him off; then the obviously mentally ill old man would hand down more detentions for the backtalk. Thus continuing a vicious, bloody annoying cycle.

"You're the worst one, aren't you? As depraved as they come."

Every single time, Mina told herself that she wouldn't let Filch get to her. That that night would be the night she finally denied him the greater victory of being able to assign more punishment.

"There's a cell waiting for you somewhere, girlie. Yes there is. It's a matter of time. I only wish it could be me allowed to string you up by your ankles and whip you raw."

And every time, she let herself be screwed over by her own big mouth.

"Kinky," Mina blurted, rolling her eyes at herself and her hunchbacked captor, "But I don't think you should be propositioning the student body, especially the not-yet-legal sector."

The jowly, gray-haired skeleton sneersmirked (an expression all his own), declaring, "Skinny, mouthy whelps, not my taste. Besides, you're the one determined to spend more time with me. More detentions, you've earned."

"Surprise, surprise," sighed Mina.

xxXxx

"And what exactly would you like me to do?" Dumbledore queried, mostly not paying attention to his young charge as he shuffled parchment scrolls across his desk.

"Filch is definitely psychotic," said Mina, "Probably a sadist and a pedophile. You should do what most sane people would in the situation and remove him from the vicinity of sweet, innocent children such as myself."

Eyes twinkling and smile trying not to smile too obviously, the headmaster replied, "The only attribute I am sure Mr. Filch possesses is zealousness. Perhaps you should refrain from antagonizing him. Or, Merlin forbid, perhaps attempt to befriend him."

Mina stared across the cluttered surface at her temporary guardian. Frostily, she declared, "I don't _befriend_."

"That's not what I heard," Dumbledore chuckled, "I heard you've been doing quite a bit of befriending this year. Miss MacDonald. Mr. Macmillan. Firenze. Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually tried."'

Huffing in annoyance, Mina quipped, "Thankfully, we'll never have to find out. I won't have a social life at all once Filch is through trapping me in detentions for the remainder of my Hogwarts career."

"Let's be honest with ourselves," the white-haired wizard argued as the infuriating twinkle returned to his gaze, "There was very little hope of that not happening anyways."

Mina rolled her eyes. "I'm fine with serving the sentence I receive legitimately," she argued, "I learn how to better avoid being caught the next time. But Filch shouldn't be allowed to torture me just because he's old and mean and doesn't have anything better to do. How is that fair?"

The headmaster sighed wearily. He grudgingly promised, "I will speak with Mr. Filch. However, you will still be required to continue serving detentions with him until you can find another faculty or staff member to take over the duty."

"Fair enough," Mina said with a shrug, "I can probably get Hagrid again. He just didn't think you'd let him since he doesn't have much for me to do." At the answering skepticism, she continued, "But I know that all the greenhouses need to be cleaned. It always gets left until the start of the next school year, but it'll be better if I take care of it now. Less mildew."

Dumbledore waved her away, agreeing, "Very well. But please do us both a favor and try not to land yourself in this predicament again."

Mina grinned as she jumped up and strutted toward the door. "I still vehemently deny the charges against me," the girl laughed, "You're just lucky I haven't involved my attorney."

xxXxx

"Does this taste funny to you?" Sirius inquired, reaching across the table in order to shove a half-eaten sausage into James's face.

The bespectacled lad recoiled violently. "Ugh," he complained, "Gross, Padfoot. You know I'm a vegetarian."

Raising a quizzical eyebrow, Sirius wondered, "Since when?"

"Since my lovely sister and I made him think he'd eaten your face," murmured Remus. He didn't bother looking out of his book. Not that he did much of that lately.

"Oh," said Sirius, "Still? But I swear I've seen you eating bacon since then."

James rolled his eyes. "Veggie bacon, which I believe I've explained at least four times, you _massive _stoner."

"C'mon, mate," replied Sirius, ignoring that last jab, "You're too skinny to be a vegetarian. You'll die. And then who will nag me out of bed for quidditch practice?"

Guarding his (ugh) salad suspiciously, James quipped, "Your concern is touching, but I think I'll be alright. Enjoy devouring the flesh of some poor creature's best friend."

Sirius stared down at his sausage, suddenly feeling guilty. Far too guilty to take another bite, even though he was still hungry. _Bloody Prongs_, the young man thought bitterly. He pouted and consoled himself with chocolate cake until Mina arrived. Then he consoled himself with an arm around her delicate shoulders.

Sometime during the flurry of her brief and chaotic stay, Mina stabbed the sad sausage off his plate and tore into it like she hadn't eaten in days. "Sorry, lads," the girl announced, chawing gracelessly around the mouthful and miraculously shoveling in more, "I know you all crave the honor of my company, but I need to muss up the greenhouses a bit if I'm going to stretch the cleaning until the end of OWLs."

"Dastardly," Remus commented, sounding quite bored.

Mina swallowed her last few bites and grinned, sneaking her brother an extra helping of roast potatoes while his attention was elsewhere. "I live to impress, dearest twin," she giggled. She kissed him and then Sirius on the cheek and was gone in a flash.

"Oh," said Sirius, "I almost forgot. Andromeda wrote me back earlier. The Marauder campout is on!"

The response was somewhat less than enthused.

"I don't understand," Peter complained, "_Why_ would we want to sleep outside? That's what houses were invented for. And beds. With clean sheets and fluffy pillows."

Nodding, James announced, "For some reason, mosquitoes find me irresistible. I can't protect myself if I go sleeping in their territory."

Remus appeared to have simply ignored the entire exchange.

"Oh, c'mon!" Sirius whined. He would've playfully nudged Remus, but disturbing his intense studying had already proven hazardous. Instead, the black-haired teen argued, "It'll be great! You'll see!"

James rolled his eyes and countered, "That's what you said about mixing firewhiskey with pumpkin juice. I don't think I've ever been so sick."

"The Headless Horseman is a spectacular drink!" Sirius defended, slamming his hand down forcefully and getting quite a few bewildered stares from various bystanders. "You just have a weak liver! It's probably because of your ridiculous vegetarianism!"

xxXxx

At some point during either messing up or cleaning up the greenhouses, Mina managed to touch a bit of pine. And since she was quite allergic, the girl returned to the common room with her hands, arms, and face broken out in a hideous, painful, and annoyingly itchy rash.

She also returned to find her idiot friends embroiled in a heated debate over who had the weakest liver. Which had of course taken the form of a highly ill-advised weeknight drinking contest.

"Sayit!" James slurred, squinting across the low coffee table at his opponent, "Say m'liver is chamee... chamep... champeeeeeeeooooon!"

The man Mina had voluntarily chosen to date shook his stupidly attractive head. While attempting to take another drink out of pure spite, Sirius stabbed himself in the eye with the bottle of firewhiskey. "Owie," he complained, "My liver c'n kick your liver's arse! You... you bloody... COAT RACK!"

Mina would've been amused if she hadn't been so itchy and irritated. And the smell of firewhiskey only served to add queasy to her list of maladies.

"Oh, thank Merlin!" Peter cried, jumping up and running to meet her. "They've gone insane!" the pudgy boy declared, "You have to stop them before they kill themselves!"

Mina glanced at her brother for his opinion.

Remus shrugged but didn't look up. "They'll pass out soon," he claimed, somehow seeming to read two books at once, "I've got it covered. Go to bed, Sunny."

"Sunshine!" Sirius crowed. He bounced to his feet and threw his arms around her, squeezing. "I missed you _sooooo _much!"

It was idiotic but really quite sweet. And normally Mina would've allowed the public affection with only a token resistance.

However, on that night, she suddenly caught an intense whiff of his firewhiskey breath. Memories immediately assaulted her tired brain, bringing up deeply ingrained feelings of anger and helplessness. Flashbacks of her mother force-feeding her the vile concoction and the hours of helpless delirium and violent nausea that followed.

Somewhere between that moment and Sirius ending up on the floor, Mina realized that her knee had flown upward hard into the lad's unprotected groin.

She gaped down at him, wide-eyed, acutely aware of the eerie silence from the rest of the audience.

Within seconds, the girl vaulted over Sirius's curled, whimpering form and sprinted away up the staircase.

xxXxx

Though Mina had progressed somewhat with her healing skills, Sirius and James were still far more adept. Sure, the girl could probably prevent a person from bleeding to death, but for the less urgent maladies, her friends were the first stop.

Unfortunately, they were both too drunk (and Sirius far too kneed-in-the-fun-bits) to provide any help whatsoever with the allergic rash spreading rapidly across her face and arms. It stung and itched like mad and refused to be soothed by any spells in Mina's repertoire.

At least an icy shower helped a bit with the pain. Though the girl found herself rapidly approaching the point at which she would either have to get out or develop hypothermia. She really couldn't say which was the less terrible option...

"Lupin?"

And _of course_ that was when Evans decided to make her entrance.

"Lupin? Is that you?"

"No," Mina snarled. Well, she tried to snarl, but the sandy-haired she-wolf shivered so badly that the comment emerged as a pitiful croak. "G-G-Go away."

Seconds later, Evans poked her head into the stall. She frowned, "You're taking a freezing shower with your clothes on again."

"You're talking to me when I don't want you to again," countered Mina, already very aware that she'd jumped into the spray without stripping off first. Her poor aching fingers couldn't manage any buttons, snaps, or zippers, thanks very much.

Evans rolled her eyes. "Come on out," she said, "You look awful. You're all blotchy, and your lips are turning blue." Before Mina could offer a witty retort, the redhead snapped, "And I'm not trying to start a fight by saying that. I'm just concerned for your health."

Mina still felt sick. Like her body still expected the smell of firewhiskey to be accompanied by hours of retching and crying and begging for it all to end in any way possible.

Not to mention the guilt. That alone might've killed her. Sirius didn't deserve to be hit just because Mina couldn't control her stupid broken brain...

"Lupin?" Evans said once more, stepping closer and daring to shake Mina by the shoulder, "What's wrong with you? What did you take?"

Slapping the concerned hand away, Mina growled, "I didn't take anything, you fucking cow! Get the bloody hell away from me!"

Evans rolled her eyes in response and answered, "Obviously something is going on, and I can't very well leave you alone in this state." She stared carefully at the rash, finally determining, "That looks painful."

"Allergies are a bitch," Mina snapped. She turned her back and hoped that the intruder would take a hint.

But Evans stayed, remaining silent for a few moments before sighing, "You should see the nurse."

"The nurse should suck my cock," grumbled Mina, "Not like she's good for much else."

Evans sighed _again_. "Well," she announced peevishly, "I think I probably have some salve in my trunk that could help."

"I didn't ask for any," Mina declared. Almost shouted because the prickling of her inflamed skin threatened to drive her mad.

"Merlin's sake!" Evans yelled, seeming to shock herself right along with Mina, "Would you just stop being surly and hateful for a single moment?! What did I ever do to you that you won't even take my help when you obviously need it?!"

Mina couldn't help thinking that the question was a legitimate one. Because, after all, the girl's initial hatred of Evans and its enduring seed were based on basically nothing. An instant, instinctive dislike that in anyone else would've become casual indifference.

But Mina didn't do indifference, casual or otherwise. "It's always about you, isn't it, Evans?" the girl taunted, finally shoving her way out of the uncomfortable exchange and the frigid spray, "You think so much of yourself. It actually bothers you that I'm not interested in being your friend. Because you're _so_ great a person we should all be humiliating ourselves for your approval, like poor cunt-struck Potter does, right?" Mina whirled, still shaking from some combination of anger and sadness and hypothermia. "Complain all you want, but everyone can see how much you enjoy the attention. And the sad part is that if you really despise James as much as you say, then that makes you nothing but a pathetic whore desperate for praise wherever you can get it."

Righteous indignation suddenly gone, Evans seemed to be shaking as well. "Shut up," she whispered. Her voice half choked with tears. "I hate you."

Mina laughed. "About fucking time."

xxXxx

Hangovers were bad enough. Hangovers coupled with aching bollocks that unleashed unfathomable spikes of pain with every ragged breath were an entirely different animal.

Unfortunately, Sirius knew first hand.

"Uhhh... uh..." he sobbed, gingerly cradling his privates as he rested his face against the Gryffindor table.

Never in his life had he experienced a more excruciating walk. He should've stayed in bed like James did.

But then he might've missed the opportunity to see his dearly beloved ball buster.

To receive her apology, if she'd actually give it.

And to apologize, if she'd let him.

Because the more he thought about the incident (what little he could remember coupled with Remus's sniggered accounts), the more Sirius had realized that he should've known better.

Mina could not abide the scent of firewhiskey. Well she could. She'd gotten better at doing so. Just as long as it didn't come too close.

All the Marauders learned that lesson clear as day many years previous. And even drunkenness (perhaps especially drunkenness) was no excuse not to remember.

It was James who nicked the mostly full bottle. But in all fairness, Sirius had to goad him for three days to get him to do so. And the task hadn't proven itself nearly as perilous as either boy imagined. The Defense professor that first year (a stout, boring old fellow whose name always proved elusive) turned out to be a barely functional alcoholic (hence his hasty departure several weeks before the end of final term and his rumored death from liver failure shortly thereafter); he never reported or perhaps even noticed when the merchandise disappeared from his office shortly after Christmas break.

But at the time, the feat had felt like a daring one, and Sirius and James ran all the way to the boys' dorm, crowing triumphantly as they presented their friends with the prize.

Mina took one look at the label on the bottle and went white as a sheet.

Sirius noticed right away. Because it was such an odd reaction. An odd sight in general from Mina, who still didn't fully trust them and still hadn't shown them the slightest hint of weakness or fear.

Of course, Sirius was the only one to notice. Pete did his best to share James's excitement, albeit reluctantly, glancing back at Remus for guidance. Remus himself was as furious as anyone had seen him, all scolds as he jumped up from his bed.

Confused, Sirius still stared at Mina. He thought she'd be the first to toast their success (looking back, he might've even been trying to impress the fierce little girl), but instead she looked ready to run, even to tremble. If only she could force herself to move.

Sirius was watching her, so he didn't see Remus getting progressively more irate or trying to snatch the bottle; he didn't see James pulling away and tripping on the tangled laundry pile.

He did see Mina's eyes go wide and track the path of the bottle as it flew out of James's grip and twirled upupupdowndowndown-

The bottle bounced off her knee but didn't shatter, rolling to the floor and spinning idly at her feet.

Mina shuddered. Then, with a half-hysterical shriek, she kicked it with all her strength.

Her bare foot broke in four places, but the bottle still didn't until it slammed into a far wall, golden liquid and powdered glass exploding in a puff and filling the room with that razor-sharp odor.

As quick as she'd turned white, Mina turned green. That time her brother saw. Again, looking back, Sirius realized more about the event. Realized that Remus had been trying to prevent such a reaction in going after the bottle. He'd been trying to protect Mina from remembering.

And when he failed, he tried to run to her side.

But even with her slender foot broken in four places, already swelling and turning a hideous purple, Mina was still able to sprint away quicker, out and down their stairs and up the girls'.

She locked herself in the toilets and stayed there for nearly four hours.

Remus refused to explain, too incensed and terrified. He talked Evans into going after Mina, but that proved counterproductive. Mina viciously shouted Evans away (in between bouts of fierce retching), and then Evans tearfully tattled to McGonagall. McGonagall dragged Mina kicking and screaming to the Hospital Wing.

Later, calmer, the sly girl spun a story about a duel gone awry. How she and James and Sirius had just been fooling around in the hallway. She didn't know which boy's spell hit her, she claimed. Surely it had been an accident, maybe even one of her own bouncing back, but it had made her fall down the stairs and afterward made her sick.

A few hours with the nurse for Mina, a detention for her and James and Sirius. Everything tied in a neat bow.

Except the boys knew the truth of it. Well, they knew what they saw.

Neither twin ever gave a real explanation, not until years later when James figured out Remus's condition and Mina confessed to their mother's abuse, the horrid woman's practice of drugging her with sleeping draught and forcing Mina to drink firewhiskey as a way of controlling the unruly toddler who refused to sleep.

At the time, Remus claimed his sister was allergic, but of course that didn't make sense: Mina reacted to the sight of the bottle before she reacted to the smell of what was inside.

The only justification Mina gave (word for word) was, "Shut your fat useless face, or I'll gut you with my bare hands."

Sirius's aching balls reminded of and granted painful clarity to his past.

Someone standing behind him laughed cruelly, and that same someone daintily settled a mug of scalding black coffee (the good stuff usually reserved for well-behaved seventh years and overworked professors) close to his head.

Remus told him later that the blessed caffeine-bringer had been Regulus. But Regulus didn't say anything and didn't stay. And Sirius really didn't care. He gulped that coffee so fast that he scalded himself from tongue to tonsils to trachea and still felt marginally better afterward.

Evans visited next, complaining to Remus about his sister's "atrocious behavior." After five years Mina could still bait the redhead into a frothing rage with just a few barbed quips.

Merlin, Sirius loved her.

And hated her. Sometimes.

Mina appeared so suddenly beside him that Sirius couldn't help flinching in instinctive terror. His battered bollocks felt as if they were actually trying to break free from the rest of him and flee. His girl regarded him coolly, murky blue eyes showing no hint of whatever thoughts (whether angry or contrite) lay behind them.

Then, casual as ever, Mina demanded, "Pass the waffles."

Sirius did, slowly and with no sudden movements.

After Mina accepted the platter, she continued to stare right at her boyfriend. "Thanks," she said. She turned away and served herself and then began to eat.

Sirius was so confused. And sore. And queasy. And apparently they were once again taking the _pretend it never happened_ approach for conflict resolution.

Well, so he thought. But then, while limping feebly off to class, Sirius put a hand in his pocket and found a small bottle that hadn't been there before.

Hangover potion. Clearly stolen straight from Slughorn's own personal stockpile.

In the language of Lupin, it was an apology.

Sirius smiled weakly at the girl.

Mina pretended she didn't see, stomping proudly along like the day was the same as any other. Like she hadn't slowed her pace to stay at Sirius's side.

xxXxx

Her own flying fists woke the girl, tense limbs lashing through the dark air at phantom enemies.

Mina sat up in bed, drenched and shaking. But the panic of the dream immediately started to evaporate along with the sweat and the memory.

She barely ever remembered her rare dreams, and even then usually only nonsensical glimpses of light and shadow, swirls of color. But they couldn't be good, not judging from the way they left her so wobbly and anxious. No matter how many times she told herself not to, Mina couldn't help wondering what it had been this time. Lingering flashes of life with her mother? Or perhaps more fallout from the Diagon massacre? Or maybe nothing but horrific creations of her own mind?

Furious at herself, Mina threw back her tangled blankets and stomped out of the quiet dorm. On any other night she might've woken her brother or her boyfriend, but they were both exhausted and needed the sleep.

The common room was too warm, and Mina felt too claustrophobic besides. She left stealthily (making sure not to wake the Fat Lady) and set out for fresher air. A mad sprint through the Forbidden Forest would clear the persistent stabbing of dread from her gut.

She slid silent through the castle. Alone. Down spinning and shifting stairs. Through all the familiar shadows. Out the front doors, across the wide lawn and all the way to the edge of the wood where she could finally breathe. She followed the edge for a few hundred yards, wanting to be well away from the unicorn paddock before she plunged into the forest: the run was supposed to make her feel better, after all, not remind the girl of the friends she'd likely never see again.

As the big tree came into view off to her right, Mina remembered that her path was taking her closer to the Whomping Willow.

And she realized there was a person standing just out of range of the enormous branches that stirred restlessly in the light of the waxing moon. Mina slipped further into the shadow of the forest and observed.

The far-off figure aimed a few curses and stuns at the trunk, but all he managed to do was illuminate his sallow, skinny face.

Severus Snape. Trying to get past the Whomping Willow.

Rage had Mina shifting to Sunny before the girl made any conscious decision to do so. She changed too fast, the normal dull discomfort becoming sharp, painful tearing as her bones and muscles and organs rapidly reshaped. But no matter. The she-wolf let loose a high, horrible howl that echoed back from every direction until her one voice sounded like a thousand.

Frozen in the dark, blind from the light of his own stupid spellfire, Snape held his wand out and hissed pathetic serpent's threats. He spun in wide circles as he searched for the danger. He made so much noise that a hippogriff could've approached unnoticed.

Sunny stalked closer, snarling quietly. When she was in range to kill him with one pounce, she revealed herself to the boy and drooled at the smell of his terror.

She allowed him to turn and run. Right into the Willow's merciless branches.

Snape dodged the first one, and then the second, squealing girlishly in shock but not daring to retreat.

_Stuck between a rock and a hard place_, Sunny thought, sitting on her haunches to watch the fun, _Or maybe it should be "between a Wolf and a Willow." That has a much better ring to it._

The young Animagus taunted her victim with yet another howl, this one more of a laugh. Although she guessed that Snape couldn't tell the difference since his attempt to flee grew that much more desperate.

The next branch caught the greasy cretin hard in the stomach and swept him clean off his feet. His breath left in a punched huff (a sour huff that reeked of his half-digested dinner and poor dental hygiene) as the pathetic creature tried to cling to the bough.

There was no hope of that, not while Snape relied on such a weak little excuse for a body. His scrawny arms couldn't hold on, and when the branch whipped high into the air, its reluctant passenger hurtled away like a ragdoll.

Luckily for him, the swipe threw Snape clear. He hit the ground with a thump and a wail and was unconscious long before his limp body finally stopped rolling.

Sunny took her time walking over and didn't bother to scent the lump; that would've been a foul experience even for her human senses. She circled her victim, debating whether or not to piss on his head.

But she decided that a creepy freak like Snape probably got off on such things, and Sunny wanted no part of that. She growled and circled away from him, ears pricked for sounds of anyone approaching to investigate the noise.

The night remained quiet and still except for the massive tree creaking and churning overhead.

That's when she found the bag, roughly where Snape had been standing before he ran himself into the Willow. Sunny nosed open the satchel and recoiled as her eyes stung. She sneezed.

Then she was Mina again, and she could barely breathe through her anger.

Snape had filled his satchel with aconite, more commonly called wolfsbane, an herb known to be toxic to humans but deadly to werewolves. And he'd been trying to get into the Willow just a week before the full moon.

Obviously whatever Sirius did to threaten or cajole the Slytherin away from Remus's secret had done little good.

And that meant it was Mina's turn.

xxXxx

Later, the girl would reflect on how easy it all was. And how that should've been a clue that her plan wouldn't work.

Mina levitated Snape's body inside the castle and dumped it at the bottom of a steep, notoriously treacherous staircase. She dropped a joint by the unconscious Slytherin then climbed to the landing and smoked two more herself, leaving the butts in as conspicuous spots as possible.

Then Mina shoved a suit of armor down the stairs and ran in the opposite direction, trusting that the unholy clamor would draw Filch in like an ugly old moth to a greasy young flame.

And that part worked at least. The fresh gossip reached the Marauders during breakfast. Except it wasn't what Mina had hoped.

"Probation?" she snarled, scaring poor Gerald Walker back a step. "They gave that fucker _probation_? After catching him redhanded?! They should expel his Death Eater arse!"

Walker squeaked, "W-Well they didn't. Dumbledore is still grilling him about where he got the..." The tiny seeker leaned in close and whispered. "The _drugs_. But Snape must've hit his head in the fall because he just keeps going on about a pack of wolves chasing him through the forest."

Mina felt torn between the urge to laugh hysterically and the urge jam a butter knife into any Slytherin within reach. She was fully aware of the obvious suspicion in her friends' stares. But the boys were smart enough to wait until they were all alone that evening in the safety of their dorm before accusing her.

"Snivellus brought it on himself," she argued, completely unapologetic, "And I didn't even touch him. Though I should've torn out his throat."

She told the story in full. And although James and Sirius seemed to appreciate the scheme she'd put together, they still took Remus's side in the overall disapproval.

"We would've smelled the wolfsbane long before Moony turned," said James, "_If_ Snivellus had even found a way into the Willow, which I highly doubt. You didn't have to do this, Sunny. It's just going to make the greaseball more determined."

Mina glared and snapped, "He should've been expelled. But at least I've hurt his credibility. No one is going to trust the word of a stupid oily stoner who got so high he fell down the stairs running away from imaginary wolves."

Sighing, Sirius replied, "People might not listen to him now, but he's still well on the trail, and if he gets actual proof-"

"He won't," vowed Mina.

Remus looked at her wearily, for once not buried in books and notes. "Sunny," he murmured, "Please, don't do anything stupid. I'd rather have to leave Hogwarts then see you hurt anyone, even Snape."

Even though he'd never said it explicitly before, Mina already knew that was how her brother felt. "Well, too bad," the girl snarled, "I'm going to shut Snivellus up. One way or another, but this time for good."

xxXxx

As the weekend progressed with no more talk of bloodshed or vengeance, Sirius allowed himself to relax, to futilely hope that Mina had let the matter drop.

But of course that was impossible.

Snape left the Hospital Wing on Sunday night. Before he could even get back to the dungeons, someone tried to drop a cauldron full of wilted wolfsbane on his head. From at least three stories up. It cracked the stone floor but fortunately not the Slytherin's skull.

"Subtle," Sirius commented once he'd heard and sought out the likely culprit in their thriving herb garden hidden several miles into the densest part of the Forest.

Sprawled on a low tree branch at the edge of the balmy, fragrant clearing, Mina gave no sign that she appreciated the sarcasm. Instead, she declared, "Unless you're here to help me plot that idiot's death, then go away."

"We can't kill him. We don't have to. There are other ways-"

"That's what you said last time," Mina snapped. She jumped down from her perch, and even though Sirius was much taller, the girl seemed to tower over him. With the red sun setting behind her back, she looked practically demonic. "Snape had his chance. All he needed to do was keep his enormous nose out of our business, but it seems like that was too difficult a concept for his puny reptilian brain."

Mina's anger was easy to mistake for anger. And, sure, most of it was.

But Sirius knew her well enough to know that she was also worried and scared. That she still didn't want to hurt anyone, even Snape, but would without hesitation to protect her brother.

Sirius stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the girl.

She struggled weakly but finally leaned into his embrace.

"It'll be alright, Sunshine," the black-haired teen soothed, "We'll figure everything out. I promise."

Still clearly unhappy, she smacked him one more time before snuggling against his chest and grumbling, "Saw that in your crystal ball, did you?"

"Actually," Sirius chuckled, "I'm not bothering to study for Divination. There's very little chance that Giles will allow me into the NEWT classes anyways. Not after I asked him teach us phrenology."

Mina giggled.

xxXxx

Monday brought with it the Charms OWL. The written progressed simply enough, but Mina's foul mood prevented her from conjuring even false courtesy for her examiner during the practical portion; the girl flawlessly performed every task but still suspected that the chubby bald wizard who oversaw had found some ridiculous reason to take points.

_I hate people_, she thought to herself, definitely not for the first time.

All the boys except Peter finished before she did. Remus didn't wait (probably run off to barricade himself in the library again), but Sirius and James were still wrestling in the hallway when Mina emerged.

"Would you dumb sods quit with the grab-arse already?" she ordered, halfhearted even to her own ears, "We need to study for Transfiguration."

The two black-haired boys who could've been brothers frowned up at her from their awkward tangle.

Mina smirked. "And by that I of course mean we need to find some good strong ale to transfigure into good strong piss."

"Had me worried for a second," James laughed. He straightened his glasses and fought briefly to free himself from the jumble, planting an elbow against Sirius's temple.

Her boyfriend squawked and flailed and pulled James down again by the ankle. "Sunshine," said Sirius, from his perch atop their companion's skinny back, "I have an idea." His gray eyes gleamed, half-mad with depraved delight. Just how Mina liked them.

But of course, tormenting their owner was also a favorite pastime. "Any idea of yours can only be improved by drunkenness," the girl declared.

Sirius scoffed with mock affront. "Well, maybe I won't tell you then," he threatened.

Mina smirked at that. She murmured, "I believe I've already proven that I have many, _many_ ways of making you talk."

James gave a sudden wail, thrashing his limbs like a toddler having a tantrum. "Good Godric, woman!" he yelped, "Are you out of your mind?! You're meant to flirt with him when he's on top of _you_, not when he's on top of _me_!"

The implication made her blush. Which in turn served to infuriate her. Mina kicked the bespectacled beanpole and snarled, "Show some gratitude. Rubbing up against Padfoot's accidental hardons is all the action you're ever going to get until you quit mooning after that stuck-up ginger."

There was a brief and uncomfortable silence.

"Aaaaand... now it's awkward for everyone," Sirius drawled as he slowly got to his feet, "Thanks, love. You have a real talent." Still, it only took a moment for him to give James a hand up and then stride over to give Mina a chaste kiss on the cheek.

Sometimes she _hated_ how sweet he was; it made her feel like even more of a colossal bitch.

Still, the girl allowed herself to be tucked beneath Sirius's strong arm on the way back to the Tower. Halfway there, she realized that they'd forgotten Peter. But she put the rat out of her thoughts just as quickly; he was more likely to go bother Remus in the library than to join them for an afternoon of boozing.

They sat on James's bed, as they did quite often. Peter's smelled weird; Remus hated having his blankets mussed up; Sirius was likely to lose some important bits if her brother found Mina near his sheets, even on top of them with a trusty four-eyed chaperone in close range.

Mina and Sirius shared a joint while James poured drinks. The three took turns toasting to luck and success in the coming weeks.

Then Sirius repeated his earlier announcement, about the idea. "Everyone knows Slytherins are cowards," he declared, "Even more so for Snivellus. Seeing Sunny obviously terrified him. Now we just have to get him terrified enough to stop snooping."

"I could bite off his face," suggested Mina, "But that greasy beak is probably poisonous."

James laughed, shaking his head. "I know it's not your strong suit, but maybe something that won't land us all in Azkaban?"

Mina smirked. "You're no fun."

"We're not just out to torture him, love," Sirius explained (though even he didn't seem entirely convinced of that), "Well, I'm sure it'll be a bonus, but this is meant to be a strategic strike with a clear purpose."

Snickering, Mina remarked, "So what's the plan, _Admiral Padfoot_?"

He grinned that grin of his, the devilish one that made Mina's knees weak, which in turn seemed to make her common sense roll its eyes in disgust and step out for an ill-timed smoke break. "If Snivellus wants a werewolf so bad," said Sirius, "Then let's give him one..."

xxXxx

Remus would never have approved, so of course they had no intention of telling him. He wasn't likely to find out, not unless someone spilled. Which was why they had decided not to tell Peter, either. Bless his likely enlarged heart, the butterball sometimes couldn't keep his big mouth shut.

Detentions were suspended during exams, which was lucky. Unless you were a remorseless repeat offender (Mina) or on probation for drugs (Snape). Someone very, very stupid (Dumbledore) decided that the two should serve their sentences together.

Nothing got done the entire first hour. The teens circled each other and glared, too tense and furious for words, each unwilling to let the other out of eyesight.

But then Hagrid poked his head into the greenhouse, saw that they weren't working, and gave as stern a warning as was capable from such a sweet man.

The second hour they alternated ignoring and glaring as they puttered around with miscellaneous gardening clutter.

Mina didn't break the silence. She just abandoned her task, seated herself on one of the tables, and lit a joint.

"Put that out!" Snape hissed urgently. His fists clenched. If he hadn't been such a useless coward, the emaciated teen might've made a grab at the smoldering contraband. His eyes flicked back and forth to the door, expecting Hagrid to arrive for another checkup at any second.

The grin that spread across Mina's face felt appropriately feral. The girl gave a low chuckle. "You got busted for weed," she murmured, holding out the joint, "You might as well actually commit the crime you're being punished for."

Snape stared, frozen in a disbelieving sneer.

"No?" taunted Mina. She shrugged and put the joint back to her own lips. "More for me."

Inhale.

Hold.

Exhale.

"I understand you have a theory concerning my brother," the girl declared.

"It's not a theory," Snape hissed, "I know exactly what kind dangerous freak your brother is, and as soon as I get some proof, everyone in school is going to know as well."

Mina took another long drag. "You seem to have misinterpreted a few key details," she said, "And if you want this conversation to remain so surprisingly civil while I provide generous enlightenment, you won't refer to Remus with adjectives other than _brilliant_ and _amazing_."

"These threats and head games are useless," the Slytherin declared, "I'm going to enjoy getting the both of you thrown out of here."

Ignoring the outburst, Mina calmly remarked, "There's a lot of false information floating around about werewolves. Half the books were written during the middle ages, you know. And even the more recent ones are mostly products of hate and fear. Very few of the authors even speak to real werewolves, let alone get all the facts straight about them."

She allowed her eyes to change, just for the time it took to flash her elongating fangs.

Snape made a noise like he got stuck halfway between a gurgle and a scream, retreating blindly until his back hit the opposite wall.

"Weres _have_ to change during the full moon," Mina went on casually, fully returned to human form, "But with a bit of hardwork, a bit of... I guess I'd call it _embracing the inner wolf_, changes during the rest of the month weren't difficult to master. They're far more enjoyable, too, because I remain in control of my thoughts and actions." The girl got down from her perch and stalked leisurely across the length of the greenhouse. "In other words," she told her shivering prey, "Nobody gets bitten. On accident, at least."

Snape began fumbling for his wand, uncharacteristically comical and clumsy in his panic.

"You can stop pissing your knickers," the girl laughed cruelly, "I'm not even contagious right now."

"S-S-Stay away," stuttered Snape, "I'm warning you-"

She seized the front of his faded robes, slamming their inhabitant brutally against the dark glass.

His wand clattered away.

"No," snarled Mina, "I'm giving the warnings here. My brother has stuck by me through more crap than an insect like you could possibly imagine, and all he's ever asked in return is that I go to school with him." She gave the nearly weightless teen another hard slam. "You think I want to be here? Surrounded by morons and bigots? The _smell _of all these _people_! _You _especially! Merlin, I'm constantly swallowing down the urge to vomit! But I stay. Because that's what Remus wants. And you can be damn sure that I'd kill any idiot stupid enough to take that away from him."

Snape, though obviously still terrified, regained a modicum of rational thought. "I-It can't be you," he insisted desperately, "Remus is the one who disappears every month-"

"He really is sick, you pathetic waste," snapped Mina. (She had the absurdly ill-timed thought that being an actress might be a valid career choice; she almost giggled and ruined the whole con). "We've timed his hospital visits with my changes because... because when I'm not myself, the first thing I always do is try to find him. To _turn_ him. Where do you think all his bloody scars came from? We had a few close calls in the beginning. We think it's because my wolf wants him as a pack-mate."

Wide-eyed, Snape muttered, "You... it can't be you..."

Mina flashed her fangs and wolfish eyes once more. "Knowing both Lupin twins," she said, "Which do you think is more likely the vicious animal?"

As expected, that was the argument that really sold it.

"Alright," murmured Mina, "Now that we're on the same page, there's one more thing you should be aware of before you make any trouble for us." She slowly released her hold on her stunned classmate's distractingly stiff robe. She stared into his face and very calmly announced, "You would've already been dead a dozen times and shat out of a dozen thestrals if I hadn't promised Remus I wouldn't get myself expelled."

Snape said nothing.

Mina, however, cheerfully continued, "So the way I see it, you should actually be trying to make _sure _I don't get expelled rather than helping the process along. Because if I do get kicked out, for any reason, you can bet your scaly arse that the last thing I do before I leave is decorate the Great Hall with your entrails. Do we understand each other now?"

Snape squirmed, his gaze darting quickly between Mina and the general direction of the wand he'd so embarrassingly dropped.

"There's no need for that, Snivellus," said Mina. She gave him a condescending smile, summoning the boy's wand back and setting it just out of his reach. "I'm really doing you a favor here. One you don't deserve. So how about a little gratitude, ey?"

Still, Snape declined to comment, but he glared with pure hatred.

Mina flicked the very tip of his very long nose. "That means you say _thank you_," she declared.

After several moments of insulted, scheming silence, Snape finally seemed to decide that he was too frightened to resist. He choked out an insincere, "Thanks."

Chuckling, she replied, "Good boy."

xxXxx

To be completely honest, Mina really hadn't expected the ruse to work as a permanent solution. The best she hoped for was to instill enough fear and doubt to carry them over through graduation.

What she didn't expect was the _spectacular failure_. But she really should've, what with the plan coming from Sirius and all.

The next few days passed uneventfully enough. Just OWLs, studying, and detention for Mina. After that first night, Snape had decided to serve his sentence with Filch.

Mina didn't think anything about the switch, other than a small snicker over the Slytherin's cowardice. She certainly didn't think that Snape was doing anything other than trying to stay far, far away from her.

But then, after the Defense OWL, while the Marauders were joking with Remus about the werewolf question on the exam, while they were all on their way outdoors for a well-deserved long lunch, the group passed by Filch's office just in time for Snape to step out.

He froze very briefly, beady eyes dark and cold, spidery hands clenched tight around a few slips of parchment.

Mina was barely able to make out her own name on the outermost slip before Snape turned and ran.

"Huh," said Peter, "That was... weird. Even for Snivellus."

Mina didn't answer; she was too busy trying to figure out why Snape was stealing pages out of her lengthy disciplinary file.

As soon as the group made it out to the fresh air, the answer hit Mina like a punch in the gut.

"I've had detention during the full moon before," she snarled at James as she held him back a step. The girl didn't know whether to be furious or terrified, but either way she felt like vomiting and was squeezing a bruise into her friend's spindly wrist. "I almost always skip them, but McG caught me twice during second year and personally dragged me down to Filch. He must've had the records in his office."

Uncharacteristically slow, James blinked at her and whispered, "So?"

Mina could've throttled him. "_So_, Snivellus was just in there, probably stealing them, and they prove I can't be a werewolf. And since Padfoot's _brilliant_ plan involved admitting to that gawky reptile that the werewolf he's been searching for is a Lupin, and since there's only one other one here-"

"Oh," James interrupted, eyes going wide behind his ridiculous specs, "Oh no. What're we going to do?"

That was an excellent question. It was one thing to keep Snape quiet when he wasn't sure of anything; it was quite another when he knew for certain that Remus was the werewolf and when Mina no longer had a valid method of deflecting suspicion onto herself.

"We need those papers back," she decided, "He doesn't have any real proof, but if he starts mouthing off anyways, I need to be able to cover for Moony. People are still more likely to believe that I'm the werewolf so long as they don't see any evidence that completely rules it out."

Frowning, James said, "Telling Snape you're the werewolf is one thing. If you tell the whole school... this could fall apart very quickly."

Mina knew that, damnit. But she'd take a real bullet for her brother, so some silly metaphorical one made of negative public opinion wouldn't even make her flinch.

"I want those papers," she snarled, trying to put on a happy face as they neared the rest of their crew lounging beneath a large shady tree, "Snivellus is always stalking Evans, and I know she's out here somewhere. When you see the snake, cause a diversion so I can get into his bag."

xxXxx

One minute, everything was perfect. The weather was warm and beautiful. The Marauders were all together, relaxing in the shade, and they had several hours before their next exam. Sirius had finally goaded his cranky girlfriend into letting him put an arm around her shoulders. And even though she continued to glower menacingly, life didn't seem like it could get much better.

The next minute, James had Snape hanging upside down in the air. The whole exchange was a surprise; James had been trying to behave as far as Snape was concerned, and especially in front of Evans, who was most likely lurking very nearby.

But still: harassing Snape was always fun. And certainly exposing his nasty under clothes to the rest of the student body added a respectable amount of amusement to any afternoon. Sirius joined in most gleefully.

Around the time that Evans marched over and began demanding that her friend be released, Sirius noticed a conspicuous absence: Mina. He glanced about in search of her and finally located the girl a few steps away from the gathered crowd.

She was digging through Snape's bag and finally seemed to find what she was looking for. The girl stuffed a wad of papers into her trouser pocket and quickly signaled before sprinting back to the castle.

Sirius wondered who she was signaling. But that was about the time that James abruptly released Snape.

Had it all been planned?

And without him?

What the bloody hell?

Of course, that was also when Snape called Lily a mudblood.

And Sirius had the sudden, sickening sensation that everything was about to go wrong.

xxxxxxxxxx

Sorry this took so long. It was one of those chapters that seemed like it would never end. Anyways, more hopefully soon, and reviews are appreciated ;)


	22. Signs

Part 22 – Signs

Usually there was only one kind of paper Mina burned in her dorm, and usually it was a lot more relaxing.

However, desperate times, and all that. Winded from sprinting through the entire castle, the girl hurriedly piled the evidence of her few full-moon detentions into a small rubbish bin and set the damning bits of parchment ablaze.

Mina sighed, watching the evidence turn to ash and trying to feel better about the fact that Snape no longer had his greasy paws on it.

Being generally pessimistic about all things, the young Animagus had a difficult time determining how much of her gathering dread was normal and how much was an omen of an apocalyptic, world-shattering disaster just around the corner.

The sound of loud sobbing from just around the corner proved to be a harbinger of a different sort as Evans ran past and collapsed, boneless and hopeless, into her bed. She wept and wept, looked up and did a befuddled double-take at Mina's evidence-disposal bonfire, and then went straight back to weeping,

Mina wouldn't have bothered with an investigation (actually, she really just wanted to use the opportunity to escape without being bitched at), but she suspected that her command to James to "cause a diversion" may have had something to do with his dream girl's emotional distress. And if that was the case, then she owed her friend a bit of damage control.

"Er," said Mina, "Wotcher, Evans? The stick up your arse throwing off splinters again?"

Evans was crying too hard to breathe properly, let alone retort. After another moment, the hysterical bawling became choked gasps for air.

"Godric's gonads," Mina swore, "If you're trying to make yourself pass out, there are certainly better ways."

Sounding no less pitiful, the redhead managed to stammer, "G-g-g-o aw-way!"

Mina snorted and rolled her eyes. "Right," she declared, "Because you always leave me alone when I tell you to."

The snarl that emanated from Evan's mouth was entirely without precedent. "I've always tried to _help you_!" she blubbered fiercely, "I never stood over you and _gloated_ on the _worst day of your life_!"

"Who says I'm gloating?" Mina answered, "I don't even know what I would be gloating about. And worst day of your life? Really? Don't you think that's a tad dramatic? I'm sure your life can and will get _a lot _worse."

Evans sobbed harder, turning her face back into the pillow and shrieking, "_GET OUT_!"

"Gladly," grumbled Mina, "Last time I try to be nice." She put out the smoldering remains of the fire and took the rubbish bin with her when she left; the ashes would need to be disposed of properly to guard against any magical reconstruction.

xxXxx

No one could mope and pout quite like a perpetual optimist suddenly drowning in sorrow.

And James not only looked like his lungs were bloated and squishy with sadness, but also like someone had decapitated his favorite teddy bear and then violated the fluffy corpse while he watched.

Sprawled on the hearth rug, the depressed young man in question looked up from his brooding and, momentarily distracted by absolute horror, declared, "You are _sick_."

Sirius blinked, realizing that he must've said that last bit out loud. "Er," he hastily backtracked, "What I meant was... chin up?"

James rolled his eyes and sighed, "Lily hates me now."

Though he thought it was too obvious, Sirius replied, "And she didn't before?"

"_No_," the bespectacled lad peevishly insisted, "She was annoyed by me, but she was definitely coming around. And I was trying to behave, to make it easier for her to see that we're destined for each other."

Sirius bit his tongue and managed not to call his friend a deluded idiot. Barely. "So then why did you decide to string Snivellus up by his ankles?" he inquired, trying not to sound too much like he was wheedling an explanation.

Because he suspected that the attack had some ulterior motives and that his lovely girlfriend may have been behind them.

She chose that moment to appear, inexplicably carrying a scorched rubbish bin down the girls' staircase. "Prongs," Mina remarked, "That ridiculous obsession of yours seems far more upset than usual by seeing her greasy stalker abused. What gives?"

James groaned and crawled away to stick his head in the fireplace.

(It was, of course, unlit at the time, so all he managed to do with turn his face black with soot.)

Mina raised a concerned eyebrow at the lad's behavior, but (unfortunately) it wasn't anything they hadn't seen before. "I call 'not it' for suicide watch," she declared, shaking the rubbish bin, "Important business."

"Alright," Sirius finally demanded, "Would someone _please_ tell me what the bloody hell is really going on here?"

The look his girlfriend gave him could've scared the scales off a Slytherin. "Your shit plan blew up in my face," she declared, "And since I'm still not allowed to murder Snivellus in a most creative and karmicly fitting manner, I've got to go figure out some other way of keeping his rotten mouth shut."

"Oh," said Sirius. He probably would've thought of something more useful to add, but Mina stomped out of the Tower, so there wasn't any point. Instead, Sirius sighed and got to work dragging James out of the hearth by his ankles.

xxXxx

Hearing the rest of the story didn't take long; the school was once again abuzz, tittering and whispering and practically steaming from all the scandalized gasps.

Mina couldn't bring herself to be surprised: when you kept a pet Slytherin, the vile thing would inevitably make unfavorable remarks concerning your blood status. Boo fucking hoo for Evans.

In order to entirely destroy the traces of incriminating evidence still present in the remains of her bonfire, Mina decided on a combination of erumpent horns, ashwinder eggs, and diricrawl feathers. The powdered parchment would be exploded, burned again, and then vanished for all eternity.

Unsurprisingly, the word _overkill_ never once entered Mina's mind while she was thinking up this method, raiding Slughorn's ingredient cupboard, or adding the components one by one to the poor abused bin.

Also unsurprisingly, after the bin and its contents made their final, flaming exit from that particular plane of existence, Mina emerged from the previously vacant, now burning classroom she'd chosen for the feat looking like she'd belly-flopped into a vat of coal; a small section of her satchel smoldered and sizzled happily like it wanted to join the fiery fun.

"Miss Lupin!" McGonogall's scandalized voice cried before the girl could execute a proper escape from the scene of the crime, "What in Merlin's name have you done to yourself?"

Mina blanked momentarily, buying a few moments by faking some pitiful coughs. "Um," she wheezed, "I was studying for the Potions OWL..."

McGonogall's face did that worrisome twitching thing that indicated a level of bewildered rage only the Marauders could induce.

Of course Mina needed to act normal (to throw suspicion off of her actual activities), and normal for her was to smirk at the professor and playfully inquire, "Well? Aren't you going to ask me how it went?"

xxXxx

Following a stern talking-to from the headmaster, Mina waltzed out of his office and, as soon as she turned the next corner, found herself face-to-oil-slick-face with Severus bloody Snape.

The girl paused for a moment to decipher what was happening as she lit a cigarette. She took a long drag and then taunted, "This should be good."

Snape sneered. He embodied anger and discomfort, which was typical; however, an unusual glint of desperation had taken residence in the lad's cold, dead stare.

And of course, that intrigued Mina. She offered a smirk, much like the one to which she'd treated McGonogall. "Tough day?" the girl snickered.

"You're going to get Lily to talk to me," Snape spat, "Or I'll make sure the whole school knows about your brother before nightfall."

Mina laughed. "You realize that Evans and I despise each other? That I'm the last person in the world, maybe aside from you, who could convince her to do anything?"

The pale teen sneered.

"But I'm the only person you think you can blackmail into helping," decided Mina. She chuckled. "There's just one little problem with that plan. Want to guess what it is?"

"You are going to help me," sneered Snape. He seemed a bit unnerved, probably having expected anger rather than laughter.

Mina puffed smoke into his face. "Alright," she murmured, "I'll tell you. In order to blackmail someone, you need actual proof of something that person doesn't want made public. All you have in this case is a grudge and some wild, possibly drug-fueled theories."

"You threatened me," the Slytherin listed smugly, "You admitted you were a werewolf. I have that memory-"

"Good for you."

"-I also have proof that you can't be a werewolf," he continued, ignoring the interruption and how moronic he sounded, "And if it's not you, then that means you were covering for your brother. He's the only student in the entire school that has disappeared every full moon since first year."

Chuckling, topping his smugness with more smugness, Mina replied, "Three things. First, you don't have those detention records that prove it's not me. At least not anymore." She winked. "Word of advice: vital evidence should be thoroughly hidden away and not carried around your book bag."

His face paled and then flushed with fury.

"Second," continued Mina, "All your memory proves is that I enjoy messing with you and making you wet your _disgusting_ knickers in fear." She gave another happy chuckle. "And third, if the timing of Remus's hospital visits is what's made you all suspicious, then I'm sure he'd be happy to reschedule the next one in order to put your puny reptilian brain at ease."

Clearly at a loss, growing desperate and possibly (hopefully) suicidal as his _brilliant _plan crumbled to dust, Snape sputtered, "That... that's not... I know you've used Polyjuice before! It wouldn't be him!"

Mina grinned viciously, already thinking of how she could put the plan into motion. "Good luck proving that," she said, "Or anything else. You've got to face facts, Sniv. I win. You lose. Now fuck off."

xxXxx

Mary appeared briefly at dinner, sticking around just long enough to gather a plate of food to bring up for Evans and to glare disapprovingly at the assembled Marauders.

"Why are we being blamed for the filth that comes out of Snivellus's mouth?" James inquired, "I've been trapped upside-down in my pants loads of times, and I've never felt the need to use such _despicable_ slur." Though he'd kept his head out of the fireplace for the last several hours, the young man still looked like someone shat in his cauldron.

Shrugging, Sirius declared, "Maybe we're expected to set a good example. We are role models."

Remus snorted. "Merlin save us all if that's true," he grumbled, "Today alone we've destroyed a friendship and nearly burned down the school."

"And you didn't even help," joked Sirius, "So selfish, Moony."

Mina arrived to complete the fivesome, dropping into her usual seat between her brother and her boyfriend. She wore a devious grin, like she'd just done something marvelously wicked. "Alright, lads?" the girl inquired brightly.

"Better now," replied Sirius. He bravely slung an arm around her shoulders and didn't even mind the I'll-kill-you-slow glare that came from Remus.

Leaning into the embrace, Mina fondly teased, "Sap." She kicked James under the table and added, "Who wants to take bets on how long it will take Evans to quit sniveling like a four-year-old?"

James glared. "That's not funny."

"Neither is an uninhabitable dorm," Mina said with her best yes-I'm-a-bit-evil-what-of-it smirk, "D'you think I could get my own room if I added _weepy twats_ to my list of allergies?"

No one laughed (though Sirius kind of wanted to, and Pete looked like he would if anyone else did (but, in all fairness, that's how Pete always looked)).

The way James stormed off suggested he might never come back.

"Sunshine," sighed Sirius, "I think it's a bit too soon to joke about this. At least with Prongs."

Mina shrugged but thankfully agreed, "Ya, ya. I suppose. I did try to help him. I tried to be nice to Evans, but she refused to cooperate."

_I'm sure that's exactly how it happened_, Sirius sarcastically thought but wisely didn't say. "I'm sure you did your best," he muttered sincerely. "It'll blow over... want to take a walk after dinner?"

"Sunny," Remus interrupted. He looked and sounded pitiful, but that was to be expected with the full moon only two days away, "Will you review for the Ancient Runes OWL with me? My head kind of hurts, so I'm having a hard time concentrating."

The girl's good humor vanished as her attention completely shifted away from Sirius."Of course," she replied. She felt her brother's forehead, cuddled up against him and offered, "After dinner, we'll go back to the Tower. You can lie down, and I'll read the notes to you."

Remus smiled weakly. "Thanks. That sounds nice."

Something was up: Remus usually despised being babied, especially at his time of the month; he was more a _suffer in silence_ kind of bloke. So either he had experienced a drastic personality shift... or had come up with the perfect ploy to keep his sister from being alone with Sirius...

Sirius stared at the haggard young werewolf, suspicious of his strange behavior.

The mocking grin Remus offered over the top of Mina's head was proof enough.

xxXxx

For the next day or so, Sirius did his best not to take it personal.

The twins were close; they were fiercely, some might argue insanely protective of each other, and Remus would've decided to hate _anyone_ Mina chose to date. In fact, Sirius was probably getting off easy in light of their long-standing friendship.

But he honestly thought that Remus would be growing more tolerant of the relationship, not coming up with new and more effective ways of keeping Sirius and Mina apart.

After much pondering (and, well, much weed), Sirius had a theory:

Maybe he needed to prove himself. Prove that he was good enough for Mina.

Though proving himself to Remus might be a problem; Remus wasn't particularly impressed by the vast majority of Sirius's vast array of talents, such as playing quidditch, avoiding homework, throwing dungbombs, and rolling joints.

"Got to be something," the black-haired teen muttered, sprawled lazily behind the greenhouses late Friday night (or maybe it was early Saturday morning by then). He was confident in his ability to score fairly high on his OWLs, but the results wouldn't be back for months. And anyways, good marks might impress Remus, but Sirius knew that wasn't quite what he was after.

What he needed was a grand noble gesture...

Sirius heard footsteps and sat up, disposing of his joint just in time for Evans to step into view.

She was barefoot and wearing a too-big robe. And wandering after curfew.

A half-empty bottle of some clear liquor dangled from her slim right hand.

Flabbergasting wasn't quite the right word to describe the moment, but it was awfully close.

"So..." Sirius hesitantly ventured, "Nice night."

The redhead took a few steps closer before sitting clumsily cross-legged at his side. She stared at him for what seemed like forever, green eyes frigid and empty. Finally, she inquired, "Planning your next catastrophe?"

Sirius huffed. "We didn't mean for it to happen like it did," he defended, "James especially. He's completely broken up."

"Yes, I'm sure," she answered. The girl seemed... different. Somehow. Colder. But maybe it was just that she was a little drunk and a lot sad.

She offered Sirius the bottle, and, not wanting to be rude or scare her off, Sirius gratefully took a swig of the scorching liquid inside.

As she continued to stare, Sirius grew more uncomfortable and took several more swigs to fill the silence.

(Merlin, he wished Mina were there with him instead of Evans; silences with Mina were never, ever uncomfortable.)

"Full moon tomorrow."

Sirius nearly spit.

Sure, Evans knew the Furry Little Secret, but she'd never tried involve herself beyond mere knowledge.

"Um," coughed Sirius, "Ya." He chuckled uneasily. "Remus is really milking it this month. He figured out that I get completely ignored if Mina thinks he's not feeling well."

Evans's calculating gaze never left the lad's face. She took a dainty sip and then gave the bottle back to Sirius. "I've been wondering," she said, "You all sneak out with him... is that really safe?"

"Of course," Sirius blurted, kind of worried about how quickly he answered the question. Like he didn't even think about it. Well, maybe he was a bit more baked than he had previously estimated. And he had consumed more than intended from Evans's beverage. "Remus wouldn't let us if it weren't safe. Although he did take a lot of convincing."

Evans continued to stare. "I mean," she clarified, getting very close to that snotty, bossy tone of voice that made Mina loathe her so much, "What exactly do you do? You can't actually... _be with him_."

Sirius didn't want to respond to the inquiry but somehow found himself doing so anyways. "We are," he declared, "We just have to change into our Animagus forms." His eyes went wide. "Shit... I mean... we've been Animagi since the beginning of the year... _Shit!_ I mean..." He slapped a hand over his mouth to hopefully prevent anymore secrets from emerging without permission.

Merlin's magical arsecrack, Mina was going to kill him. Usually she found his inability to filter his thoughts while high quite adorable; this time he doubted any such positive feedback.

"I know what you mean," Evans stated, putting him out of his misery. She smirked smugly. "I guessed it was something along those lines. It would have to be... but how do you reach him? I would think that there would be safeguards in place to prevent people from just stumbling into his lair."

Sirius laughed. "His _lair_?" the young man repeated, "Evans, he's not a bloody supervillain. They lock him in the Shrieking Shack. The Whomping Willow does a good enough job of keeping random people away from the entrance. Ever since that idiot Davy Gudgeon nearly lost his eye screwing around over there-"

"So the entrance_ is_ under the Willow," Evans interrupted, "I had guessed that as well. But how do you get past it?"

Despite knowing that he absolutely should not ever tell anyone _ever_, Sirius found himself fuzzily answering, "That's Pete's department. He's the only one small enough to press the knot." His head felt kind of weird. Weirder than usual for just smoking and drinking.

He frowned at the bottle. "What the bloody hell is this stuff?"

"Vodka," Evans said with a shrug, "Dung didn't have anything stronger for sale. At least not for the amount of money I was willing to waste on getting drunk and wallowing in self-pity."

Sirius squirmed. He offered, "I know I'm probably one of your last choices in the world, but if you need someone to talk to-"

"No," the girl snapped. She cackled somewhat maliciously, somewhat darkly, and jumped to her feet. After snatching her drink, she announced, "I think I'll head back now."

Sirius started to get up, insisting, "I'll walk you-"

Evans shoved him easily, kind of roughly down onto his arse. "Don't bother," she declared, "I'd much rather be alone." Before Sirius could make another pathetic attempt at standing, the girl had stalked off back toward the castle.

Confused by the whole exchange, woozy and a bit worried, Sirius stayed sprawled in the grass behind the greenhouses and waited for dawn.

xxXxx

"We've you been all day?" Mina inquired as she sat beside her boyfriend. She relaxed against his shoulder, staring into the empty fireplace. Enjoying their last few minutes before the full moon was due to rise.

"Fell asleep outside," grumbled Sirius. He rubbed his temples. "I think I might be getting sick."

Mina frowned, feeling his forehead. "You don't have a fever," she decided, "Are you going to be alright for tonight?"

The young man pulled her closer, tucking her beneath his strong, steady arm. "I'll live," Sirius muttered, "How about you? Did you stay up studying with Moony?"

"Nah," said Mina, "He dozed off around three." She grinned and toyed with the buttons on Sirius's shirt. "I got into your bed to wait for you and ended up falling asleep, too."

His laughter rumbled warmly beneath her cheek. "Remind me to never change those sheets."

"Hi."

Both teens looked up and saw Mary standing over them, tall and awkward. Probably still a bit ticked.

She cleared her throat. "I just wanted to say..." the dark-haired girl began, "You know... good luck tonight. Be careful."

Mina smiled. "Thanks, Mac. We'll do our best." After giving her friend another quick glance up and down, Mina added, "You're looking a bit rough."

Mary scowled. "I was up all night with Lily," she declared, "The poor thing has barely stopped crying since... you know. It's a wonder she was able to go to the exams yesterday."

Sirius stiffened. "All night?" he repeated, his voice a mix of confusion and panic, "You were with her _all night_? You're sure? You didn't fall asleep?"

"No, unfortunately," countered Mary, "She's been curled up bawling ever since she came back from the Ancient Runes OWL. I finally just gave her one of Mina's Sleeping Draughts." She turned to Mina, "Hope you don't mind, but don't care if you do."

Chuckling, Mina replied, "Please, help yourself. Whatever shuts the ginger up."

Mary huffed and rolled her eyes.

Sirius jumped up so fast that he almost knocked Mina right off the sofa. Without a word of explanation, the panicked lad sprinted out the portrait hole.

xxXxx

It wasn't Evans. It _wasn't Evans_.

And if it wasn't Evans, then...

Dear Merlin, _no_...

Sirius ran as fast as his legs would carry him, his heart hammering and his head throbbing. He threw himself down every staircase and tried to keep persistent dizziness from slowing his pace.

Snape knew _everything_. He was going for the Willow. He was going to get his proof, and it was _all Sirius's fault_.

"Padfoot!"

He could hear Mina shouting after him but kept running. She'd understand and hopefully forgive him later, but at that moment, intercepting Snape was far more important than explaining what Sirius had done.

He crashed through the front doors, ignoring James's startled yelp. Sirius couldn't see his friend but knew the boy was there, hiding under the invisibility cloak they always used to make their trek unnoticed.

But there was no time. Not on that night.

The steep slope of the lawn gave Sirius more speed, but it also took away his remaining coordination. He stepped in a shallow hole; his right foot got wedged there; the rest of his body continued careening downward.

Much, much later, Mina told him that she heard the snap of his ankle bones all the way back at the front doors, even over the sound of his strangled scream.

The next thing that Sirius remembered (aside from blinding pain and wild tumbling) was lying in a heap at the bottom of the big hill, blinking up the blank stretch of sky where James's head should've been.

"What the fuck, Padfoot?" his invisible friend whispered. He held Sirius down, shakily announcing, "Best not to look at it. We'll get you to the nurse, alright?"

"No!" shouted Sirius. He grabbed onto James's see-through body and shook the lad hard. "Snape knows!" Sirius declared, "He knows how to get past the Willow! We have to stop him! If Moony doesn't kill him, Sunny definitely will!"

The balmy wind carried a faint howl to their ears.

There was rustling and then James's voice, coming from much higher up: "Keep her away as long as you can."

"Wait!" Sirius cried, gritting his teeth against the red-hot agony radiating from his ankle, "You can't go by yourself!" He flailed and tried to catch his transparent friend.

But James was already more than a half dozen strides away. His voice drifted back: "Apparently I don't have a choice."

xxXxx

Mina was fairly certain that bones were not meant to bend at ninety-degree angles.

She was even more certain that they weren't supposed to stick out of anyone's skin in vicious white spears.

"Holy buggering hell," the girl cursed when she finally reached Sirius's side. She took his hand, "Don't look at it." (She wished someone had given her the same warning; she was never going to get the gory image out of her head.)

Though he was shaking severely from head to toe (shock or blood loss or head trauma or something equally horrifying), Sirius still managed a weak chuckle. "Well, that can't be a good sign," he murmured.

Mina's stomach ached with worry. "You'll be fine," she ordered, "I'm sure it looks worse than it is. The Hospital Wing stay is probably going to be a lot more painful that this little scratch."

He shuddered and gasped, squeezing her hand. He laughed, "You'll visit me, won't you?"

"Of course I will," Mina answered, brushing his long silky hair away from his glassy eyes, "What kind of question is that?" Her face felt wet and hot.

And when Sirius took two more struggling breaths and passed out cold, Mina could've sworn her heart actually stopped.

By the time it started again, the trembling girl had already conjured a stretcher and loaded Sirius onto it and rushed her injured boyfriend nearly all the way back to the castle.

xxXxx

Mina sat by Sirius's bedside for a whole hour before she remembered her brother.

The girl wanted to slap herself for getting so distracted, but rationalized that he was probably fine; Prongs and Wormtail had doubtlessly made it into the Willow, and they would be there for him until she arrived.

Still, she felt guilty. Horribly, sickeningly guilty.

It was ridiculous, she thought. Neither her brother nor her boyfriend could in his present condition tell whether or not she was there.

But it seemed so wrong to leave either one alone; she never wanted to choose between Remus and Sirius, especially at a moment when they both needed her and she needed both of them.

Five more minutes, she told herself. Then she would get up and leave Sirius to sleep off his injury; with all the potions the nurse had given him, he'd probably be unconscious well into the next day. Mina could get her brother through the night and still be back before Sirius woke.

She squeezed his hand and watched his strong chest rise and fall with every breath.

Five more minutes.

"Miss Lupin."

Dumbledore unexpectedly in the doorway was never a good sign.

"He tripped," Mina insisted, "We were just playing around on the lawn. It was such a nice night. And he tripped in a hole. You should have Hagrid see about filling it in because that is a massive safety hazard-"

"Please, come with me, Miss Lupin," the headmaster stated sternly. He seemed sad and furious at the same time.

And Mina instinctively knew that she shouldn't bait him or argue with him.

Something was wrong. Very, very wrong.

"What is it?" she demanded, close to panic for the second time that night, "Is it Remus? Is he ok?"

Dumbledore's eyes didn't twinkle, his mouth set in a firm line behind that silly beard. "We'll discuss it in my office. Now."

She followed but later couldn't remember any of the long walk. Just the crushing dread.

Candles crackled in the cozy, cluttered room. There were four chairs in front of the headmaster's desk. Snape sat closest to the door, pale and nervous, then McGonogall with her spine ramrod straight and her gaze disapproving. Next was an empty chair, and then James, who jumped up as soon as Mina walked through the door.

"Sunny," he called, seizing her into a tight hug. "Don't freak out," he whispered.

Never a good sign.

"What's going on?" Mina demanded.

Dumbledore sat and asked that Mina and James do the same; James made sure she took the chair farthest from Snape. Only once everyone had a seat did the old man sigh and begin, "There was an incident earlier this evening."

"They tried to kill me!" Snape hissed.

Smirking, Mina quipped, "Who tried to kill you? And can I buy them a round of drinks?"

"_Silence_," Dumbledore bellowed.

Mina couldn't recall ever hearing him bellow. At anyone.

"Now then," the headmaster continued, practically seething, "Mr. Snape alleges that you and Mr. Black lured him into the Willow with the intention of having him murdered by the creature inside."

"That's a fucking lie!" Mina was on her feet. She understood why she'd been given her particular chair when James and McGonogall both jumped up to stop her from maiming the lying sack of Slytherin shit glaring from the other side of the room.

She was silenced and slammed back into her seat by a wordless wave from Dumbledore.

He sighed. "I am not convinced that Mr. Snape has told us the whole truth of this matter," the old man explained, "However, I am _also_ not convinced that you and your friends had nothing at all to do with the episode. Mr. Potter has shared his version of events, and now I would like to hear yours _if_ you can keep your tone, language, and behavior civil."

Grudgingly, Mina nodded and found herself once again able to speak. "That greasy, pathetic Death-Eater wannabe has had it out for us for years," she declared, "He's been trying to get Remus expelled by exposing his secret. We've been doing our best to keep him from getting proof, but the sneaky shit stain obviously must've found his own way into the Willow! He probably had a camera or something!"

Dumbledore stared. He clearly didn't think Mina's tone, language, and behavior measured up to his idea of civil, but he let them pass without comment. "We haven't found any camera," the white-haired wizard declared, "But we didn't have much opportunity to look. Unfortunately, in the struggle to save Mr. Snape from the creature-"

"STOP CALLING MY BROTHER A FUCKING CREATURE!"

"Miss Lupin!" snarled McGonogall.

Before the adults could start in with anymore scolding, James took his friend's hand and sorrowfully reported, "Moony got out. I'm sorry. I tried not to let him. But Snape was panicking, and he blasted a hole in the wall. And then Moony knocked him out, and I had to save Snape from getting bitten, and Moony just vanished."

Mina gaped at the boy in utter disbelief. "He _got out_?" she repeated. Her chest felt tight, like her lungs had seized up. If she hadn't been stuck to the chair, she would've stood again and this time made a mad dive for the Slytherin's throat. "YOU STUPID FUCK!" she shrieked at him, "YOU LYING COCK-NOSED SERPENT-"

Dumbledore silenced the girl once more. He tented his fingers in front of his stony face, staring thoughtfully at all the concerned parties. Giving Mina such a look of pity as she writhed and raged and shouted wordlessly in her seat. "Normally," he began, "In a situation as severe as this one, everyone involved would be interrogated under the influence of Veritaserum. However, Professor Slughorn has informed me that his supply of the potion, as well as of Polyjuice, has been stolen. I can't help thinking that the thefts somehow play a part in this misfortune. Do any of you have anything to say on the subject?"

No one did. And Mina was confused as anyone else; sure, her latest plan had required pilfering a few bottles of Polyjuice, but not the entire damn supply. She wasn't an idiot. And Veritaserum? Why the hell would anyone need that much Veritaserum? More than a few drops at a time were toxic...

"Very well," said the headmaster. He stood, folding his arms behind his back and pacing on the other side of the desk. "You are all confined to your dorms for the foreseeable future. Your Heads of House will escort you to and from your OWLs, but you are otherwise not to set foot outside. Understood?"

No one said anything.

"Mr. Snape," Dumbledore stated, "Do you know what the penalty is for knowingly or through gross negligence loosing a dangerous beast within ten miles of a human population?"

Snape's dead gaze narrowed. "At least five years in Azkaban."

Dumbledore nodded. "You would do well to remember that before speaking to any of your classmates. You are dismissed. Professor Slughorn is waiting outside to accompany you back to your room. I trust you will cooperate fully."

With another venomous sneer, the oily boy was gone.

Mina's ire lessened just from not having to share oxygen with him.

"Sir, please," James piped up, "Mina and Sirius would never do what Snape is saying. None of us would. He has been out to get us. Recently even more than normal."

Dumbledore countered, "And I'm told not without good reason." He sighed. "I don't think there's anything more we can do tonight. Minerva, please see them back to the Tower."

As soon as the spell was released, Mina sprang up. "I'm going after my brother!" she shouted, in absolute disbelief that she would be expected to do anything else.

"You will do no such thing," the headmaster declared, "From Mr. Potter's account and evidence observed at the scene, we believe your brother headed straight into the deepest and most perilous area of the Forbidden Forest. I cannot allow anyone to put themselves into danger by following."

Mina glared. And then she sprinted for the door.

xxXxx

No one knew better than her fellow Marauders that Mina Lupin had a way of driving people absolutely mad.

She teased and prodded and ran her mouth off; she was an incessant annoyance, and she didn't care who she offended. The girl was the worst kind of unflinchingly honest.

Somehow that made her... amazing.

At the end of the day, if you could tolerate the absolute truth constantly spewing forth in the least flattering, most pessimistic way possible from the foulest mouth in six counties, if you could earn her jealously guarded trust and loyalty, you had in Mina the best and truest friend. A friend who made no secret of the fact that she would kill or die for you without question.

And even that was _nothing_ compared to the girl's devotion to her brother.

If anything happened to Remus, Mina was likely to burn the whole world down in retaliation.

James gave a sigh of tentative relief as he spied a rat scurry into the dorm. "Well?" he demanded, "Did you get Moony back ok?"

Standing with a groan, Peter massaged his pudgy arms and legs. "Yes," the lad complained, "I just had to hold onto his neck for fifty bloody miles. My muscles are in knots. I'm not sure I'll even be able to write tomorrow."

"We've got some bigger problems," James grumbled.

Peter flopped into his bed and continued to sweat profusely in it. "Obviously," he muttered, "What the hell happened last night?"

An excellent question. "I'm still not entirely sure. It has something to do with missing Veritaserum, missing Polyjuice, Padfoot breaking his leg, and Snape ending up in the Shack."

There was a noise of vague interest from Peter's direction. The rat inquired, "How'd Sunny take all that?"

"Not too great."

Peter raised a speculative eyebrow.

James explained, "She made a run for it out of Dumbledore's office, and he stunned her." Using animated hand gestures to help illuminate his point, the young man added, "It hit her just as she reached the top of the staircase, which, you know, ended with about as many skull fractures as you might expect."

"Well, shit," said Pete, "Not cool. So she's in the Hospital Wing, too?"

Nodding, James half-heartedly joked, "Three out of five Marauders. I think that's a new record."

Peter shrugged. "At least she can't kill anyone while she's unconscious."

"I'm hoping just the fact that Moony is safe and sound will prevent bloodshed," James announced.

Yawning, closing his eyes and preparing to sleep, Peter replied, "If anything can, that's certainly it."

xxXxx

Once he had the opportunity to think on the subject, James discovered that he really never spent much time alone, definitely almost no time alone and trapped in just one room.

He was a sociable bloke, and though he had few close friends, he had many friends. At least many people he didn't mind chattering to when his first four choices were nowhere in sight (or sleeping, as was the current case with Peter).

Dumbledore's lockdown was proving excruciating.

As was the information blackout.

James knew a few things:

Remus was going to pin a medal on his chest.

Mina was going to cut off his bollocks and pin them right beside it.

Sirius was going to have a _very _good explanation for the events that had transpired.

Yes, all of these things.

He heard a knock at the door and looked up to see Mary standing warily at the threshold. "Thank Merlin," James grumbled, "Have you heard anything?"

Shaking her head, Mary replied, "Nothing. Not even any rumors."

Though he knew nothing about the situation was at all funny, James couldn't help laughing. He crumbled onto his bed and stared at the ceiling, exhausted from hours of pacing and worrying.

"The nurse wouldn't let me in to see them," Mary added, "But she did tell me that they're still asleep and that they should be mostly recovered in time for exams tomorrow." She walked fully into the room, taking a seat on Remus's bed. "What exactly happened?"

James, starved for interaction, told her everything.

How Sirius knew that Snape knew, though James still wasn't sure how.

How James arrived in the Shack just in time to distract Moony from the idiot Slytherin snapping pictures and screaming where he was trapped on top of a flimsy bookcase.

How Snape completely panicked, blasted down a warded, alarmed wall, and took off running.

How James tried like hell to keep Moony from making his own exit.

How Moony got out anyways, but not before Wormtail hid himself in the thick fur at the back of the werewolf's neck, their contingency for tracking (and, if the need arose, stunning) the beast in that exact situation.

How much of a relief it was that Moony ignored Snape in favor of sprinting off into the wilderness.

How James wanted to pursue but instead chased Snape down, tackled him and knocked him out and managed to banish his camera just before McGonogall arrived to investigate the disturbance.

"So now Snape can't admit he had the camera," James finished in a huff, "If he does, it'll be admitting that he went into the Shack with the intention of getting evidence and that he wasn't tricked into it like he said."

"But that's good!" Mary argued, "If you show Dumbledore that Snape did have the camera, then that proves he was lying."

James produced the item, as well as the only two decipherable photos he'd found inside, from under his bed. He gave the photos to Mary and let her see for herself why Dumbledore could never see them.

The girl gasped, watching the first picture as Moony lunged forward, slavering jaws snapping; in the background, James was clearly visible climbing into the room as a person and steadily morphing into a charging stag.

The second shot wasn't much better. Moony's razor-sharp claws swung through the frame in a terrifying blur. As soon as they were out of view, Peter appeared at the tunnel entrance and shrank rapidly into a rodent. Halfway through the transformation must've been where the Snape flailed the camera, capturing a clear image of his own unmistakable nose.

"I'm sure Snape saw," James explained, "He didn't say anything to Dumbledore, but I think that must be because he's betting that those pictures exist and that we won't risk exposing ourselves by exposing him."

Nodding, Mary agreed, "Sounds like something he'd do. But you're right. You can't show these to Dumbledore. He'd be obligated to report to the Ministry, and you'd probably end up facing just as much jail time as Snape would. And you can't just give him the camera with two pictures missing. It would be too suspicious... Total lose-lose."

James sighed. "This is a mess."

Mary chewed her bottom lip, obviously thinking hard. After a few moments, she reported, "Not necessarily. Keeping quiet about the camera makes sure that you and Peter don't end up in Azkaban, but if Snape wants to stay out of prison as well, then he also has to keep quiet. I don't think he can keep going after Remus, not knowing that you have the pictures. I don't think he could even risk telling anyone else about what he saw. And having blackmail material might just stop Mina from killing him."

"But that means Sirius and Mina take the fall," reported James, "If we stick with Snape's lie, then they... it's _attempted murder_."

"Or it was a prank gone wrong," Mary insisted. She looked incredibly guilty but still said, "It wouldn't be the first time that's happened with them. There's no obligation for the school to report to the Ministry if they decide it was an accident, and they probably will because Sirius's family is well-connected and Snape's isn't."

James remembered what Mulciber did to the girl; she knew the value of a family name when it came to these situations.

Mary continued, "If Sirius and Mina take the blame, then... I think everyone keeps their secrets and everyone stays out of Azkaban."

The plan made sense. But it also made James feel like vomiting. No, actually, he just felt like vomit, like a stinking mess of half-digested dinner splattered on the floor.

Mary seemed to feel the same way. "Look," she declared, "I don't like it either, but it might be the best you can get. And the sooner someone confesses, the less likely Dumbledore is to get his hands on enough Veritaserum to interrogate you all and find out the truth."

She was right. James knew she was right. But he wasn't about to put the plan into action without talking to the other Marauders.

Weary and miserable, James stood and rifled through his trunk. He flung the slick, ethereal fabric of the invisibility cloak around his shoulders and set off into the night.

xxXxx

James arrived quickly in the Hospital Wing, creeping inside to find Sirius dozing in a chair between the Lupin twins' beds. Bandages still swaddled his right leg, and between that and his general corpse-like pallor, Sirius looked and most likely felt like absolute shit. But the long-haired teen didn't seem like he was going to let that or anything else move him from his vigil.

Leaning close to his friend's ear, James whispered, "Meet me in the toilets. We need to talk."

Sirius jumped a bit but deciphered the situation quickly, standing and limping off toward the loo. He followed James's invisible form inside and locked the door behind them.

James whipped off his cloak. "How's the leg?" he asked.

"About as much fun as a doxy up the arse," Sirius replied. He sat on the closed toilet and demanded, "Tell me everything."

And James did, sharing all the information at his disposal.

Sirius groaned, yanking hard at his tousled hair. "It was Snape," the teen declared, head in hands, "He stole the Polyjuice and the Veritaserum. I'm not sure why he'd need the entire supply, but he used the Polyjuice to make himself look like Evans last night, and I'm fairly certain that he spiked me with Veritaserum. Probably a toxic dose, the bastard. It certainly explains why I've been feeling so sick since then."

"It wasn't your fault," James said. He'd already known it couldn't be but was still thankful to be proven correct. "We think we figured a way out of this, but... there's still going to be a lot of collateral damage..."

James explained the plan, struggling to look his friend in the eye. The young man almost missed the moment when Sirius's gaze hardened resolutely.

"I'll do it," Sirius agreed. "I'll take the blame. All of it. There's no reason for Sunny to go down with me. She's far more likely to get expelled, and Snivellus should be satisfied with one of us, especially knowing that seeing me in trouble will irritate Sunny more than any other punishment."

James chuckled; he should've expected that both Sirius and Mina would leap at the chance to spare the other. "She's not going to like it," he said.

The smile that crossed Sirius's face was... well, once you've seen a smile like that, you'll never again doubt the existence of true love. "She'll forgive me," Sirius murmured, "She always does."

"Still," argued James, "We should at least wait until she wakes up so that we can fill her in."

Sirius was already standing and limping back toward the door. "What?" he chuckled, "And let her steal my grand noble gesture? Not a chance."

xxXxx

So while Sirius escaped to Dumbledore's office to fall on the grenade, James sat in the Hospital Wing and waited. And waited. And waited and waited and waited and waited. He tried not to be bored, but the poor lad had spent far too much time sitting and waiting in the last day.

And of course when Remus finally did wake up, Madame Mary was there in an instant to dote on him. She hovered and coddled and _wouldn't leave_. And before James had any chance at all to tell Remus the truth, the blasted nurse delightedly passed along the stupid lie:

Sirius and Mina conspired to have him kill Snape.

James could've strangled her. Could've strangled anyone who would believe such nonsense, no matter the source.

So the look of shock on Remus's face as he digested and seemingly trusted the nurse's statements was disappointing. And heartbreaking. And she needed to get the hell away from Remus so James could assure him that none of his friends would ever do such a thing and could also scold him for even thinking it was a possibility.

James decided he needed to distract the nurse; he went into her office and began hurling objects around the room, doing his best Peeves impersonation. Unfortunately, in the midst of the destructive fun, he let the door shut and lock behind him.

Trapped while the nurse searched for her keys, James was helpless to do anything as he watched the rest of the tragedy unfolded on the other side of the window.

Mina woke, sitting up and glaring at the world. She rubbed her head, saw that her brother was in the next cot and completely forgot to be cranky. "Oh, thank Merlin!" the girl cried, launching herself inelegantly at the stunned werewolf, "Are you alright?"

Remus shoved her away, almost hard enough to knock her onto the ground. "So now you care?" he snarled, obviously too hurt and angry and post-lunar to be rational, "You've got some nerve after what you did! Or did you think I wouldn't find out?"

James could honestly say that he had never seen Mina more shocked or confused. "What're you talking about?" she asked. Obviously drawing the wrong conclusion, she rolled her eyes and continued, "The thing with Snape? I thought telling him that crap would get rid of him for real! You can't blame me that it didn't work out!"

James wanted to break down the window. He wanted to scream at the twins, to shout that they were talking about two very different events. That Mina was talking about confessing to Snape that she was the werewolf. That Remus was talking about Mina and Sirius trying to use him to kill Snape.

In fact, James did try to tell them, but the window proved to be charmed; the intention was probably to prevent delirious patients from attacking the nurse and to let the nurse hear her patients while not letting them hear her. James felt so useless.

"You're not even sorry?" Remus gaped. His haggard body shook with fury.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" Mina shouted, growing slightly hysterical as she realized but still failed to understand her brother's emotional distress, "Look, I guess I'm sorry we didn't tell you, but I didn't think you'd go for it, and it really was a decent plan. It just went a bit pear-shaped. And besides, my new plan is way better. It should shut him up for good-"

"NO!" blustered Remus, apparently too furious to form coherent thoughts, "How could you just... I told you I didn't want... fuck's sake, Mina..."

And then, the kicker:

"How can you be such a horrid psychopath?!"

Most people, sometimes even her own brother, let themselves be fooled into thinking that Mina was immune to just about any attack. She'd been through so much physical and emotional violence, but the girl always came out of it with a mocking smirk and a _that's the best you've got, amateur? Let me show you how it's done..._

But that comment from Remus...

Sticking a knife in her heart might've been kinder.

The effect was instantaneous. And clearly visible. Mina stood and stumbled back, like she'd actually been hit. Her expression shattered. Her light blue eyes filled with wounded tears.

James had never seen anyone look so small and so vulnerable and so entirely destroyed.

Thankfully, Dumbledore appeared in the doorway, shutting down the fight before Remus could do anymore damage.

"Miss Lupin," the old man said, "I have a few more questions I'd like to ask you."

She stared at him for a few moments, lost, almost like she was struggling to even remember who he was and what he was talking about. "I didn't do anything," she finally insisted.

Dumbledore sat. He asked Mina to sit, but she refused, sending pleading glances at Remus as he seethed and ignored her.

"Mr. Black has confessed that he was the one who lured Mr. Snape into the Willow," the headmaster announced, "And he claims that he acted alone."

"W-What?" Mina stammered. She looked like she was having trouble telling up from down; there was no way she was going to be able to sort truth from fiction.

James hammered harder on the glass, screaming his lungs out.

Dumbledore continued with the explanation, carefully watching the astonishment on the twins' faces. "Mr. Black claims that you were angry with him over the failure of a plan he had previously suggested. He put this new one into effect in an attempt to frighten Mr. Snape enough to leave Mr. Lupin alone."

"No," replied Mina. She shook herself. "No. What? He wouldn't..."

"His intent was to be with Mr. Snape, to give him a glimpse but not allow him to actually be injured, and then afterward to threaten him with harm should Mr. Snape fail to cease his attempts at exposure," Dumbledore stated, "Unfortunately, Mr. Black was late, and in his haste to arrive, he incapacitated himself and had to send Mr. Potter along to prevent any tragedies."

Remus looked like he might be sick, reaching repentantly for his sister.

But he wasn't fast enough.

Mina burst into tears and ran blindly out of the room.

xxXxx

It took Remus fifteen minutes to convince the nurse to let him chase after Mina. It took James twenty minutes to finally pick the lock and another five to catch up with his friend.

Unfortunately, he was about two minutes too late to prevent Remus from walking into the dorm, seeing Sirius's triumphant smirk, and then promptly erasing it with a swift punch in the face.

"Stop!" James shouted, pulling the grappling young men apart. It wasn't too hard considering that both contenders should've still been convalescing in the infirmary.

Free from the brawl, Sirius limped back to his bed. He smeared the copious blood from his nose all over his cheek and arm, grumbling, "What the hell, Moony?"

Remus fought weakly against James's pin, more angry and hysterical than anyone had ever seen him. The sandy-haired werewolf howled, "You fucking bastard!"

Peter sat up with a yawn, rubbing his bleary eyes and asking, "S'goin on?"

"Moony," soothed James, "Calm down. _Please_. You don't understand..."

James told the story again, starting with Mina's attempt to masquerade as the werewolf and ending with the debacle in the Hospital Wing. All the lies and confusion in between.

His friend's stared at him, dumbfounded.

"How could you say that to her?" Sirius gaped as Remus hung his head in shame, "You're the one person..." The tall teen blanched. "We have to find her. We have to tell her what really happened."

Remus nodded desperately. "I was coming up here for the Map."

They turned the room upside down looking for the enchanted parchment until Peter sheepishly remembered, "I gave it to Mina yesterday. She said she needed to get into Slughorn's potion cupboard again."

"The potion cupboard?" Sirius said with a frown, "Not the ingredient cupboard?"

Peter shook his head. "No, I'm sure she said the potion cupboard," he replied, "Because I asked her why. It was after she got in trouble for the fire, so I didn't think it was a great idea. But she wouldn't tell me. She said it was a surprise..."

"I know why," Mary interrupted. She stepped inside and shut the door behind her. "I've just heard that Remus was in the library last night," the girl explained.

Frowning, James argued, "Um... I don't think so..."

"He was," insisted Mary, "He helped a group of second-years with a Defense assignment. The librarian told him off three times for being too loud and finally wrote him up for disruptiveness."

Just when he thought things were starting to make sense...

Mary huffed. "Don't you get it?" she demanded, "Of course it wasn't _really_ him. But it was someone who _looked just like him_."

"Mina stole the Polyjuice," Sirius declared.

Nodding, Mary agreed, "Yes. Though she probably didn't take the entire supply. I doubt even she would be so blatant."

Defeated and shaky, Remus croaked, "That was the new plan she was talking about. No one would believe I was a werewolf after they'd seen me walking around school during the full moon. And getting me in trouble guaranteed a paper trail to prove it."

"We should talk to Dung," said Mary, "He's the most likely choice."

"If Mina stole some of the Polyjuice," James decided, "Then Snape probably stole the rest when he stole the Veritaserum. He needed both to trick Padfoot. And since he probably got the idea from when Mary kicked him while she was Mina, he knew that we had used Polyjuice before and that we had access to the cupboard. He was trying to prevent Mina from being able to make her plan work."

"I don't care," Remus complained. He was very close to tears. "I want my sister."

Though obviously still deeply upset about what the werewolf had done, Sirius nodded and declared, "Alright then. We'll do an old-fashioned grid search. I think we can rule out the dungeons, but you four split up the rest of the floors. I'll go back to the Hospital Wing and see if I can track her scent. There are only so many places she could be..."

xxXxx

She ran.

Sometimes the sun shined. Sometimes the waning moon loomed overhead, taunting her through the treetops.

Sometimes even her strong canine body couldn't go on any longer and collapsed in a pitiful heap.

Always, she missed the life she was leaving behind.

But Mina kept reminding herself that everyone she loved was better off without her.

That Remus finally saw her for the selfish, contemptible lunatic she was, that he couldn't stand to look at her and needed her gone.

That Sirius had almost become a murderer just for her approval, that he had to be saved from her poisonous influence and needed her gone.

They all just needed her gone.

xxxxxxxxxx

Yay for updates. And for new narrators, haha. As always, I love hearing what you guys think :)


	23. Hours, Days, Weeks

Part 23 – Hours, Days, Weeks

"You wanted to see us, sir?"

James was really the only Marauder who did much talking lately.

Dumbledore beckoned the four boys into his office. "Yes, of course," said the old man, "Please, sit."

They sat. The silence blared.

Again, James spoke up. "Is there news about Mina?" he asked hopefully.

Three weeks since she'd vanished without a trace, nothing left but an aching hole in their hearts to tell that she'd ever been there at all.

The headmaster slid a stack of photos across the desk. "These were taken two days ago at Edinburgh Airport."

James flipped through the frozen images, acutely aware of Remus and Sirius craning to see on his either side.

The security-camera stills showed Mary MacDonald buying an airplane ticket.

"Since I have been assured that Miss MacDonald has not left the school grounds in a fortnight," Dumbledore said, "I believe this solves the case of the missing Polyjuice, and also explains why it has been so difficult to locate Miss Lupin, despite best efforts."

"Where did she go?" whispered Remus. Relief and hope and absolute despair vied for space in his expression and voice.

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "There's no way of knowing. Using pages from a phonebook transfigured into false currency, Miss Lupin bought a ticket to London, but there's no record that she actually boarded the flight. We can only assume that she changed the ticket and her appearance and snuck onto a completely different plane."

"Or she didn't fly at all," Sirius contributed, almost conjuring a fond smile for his girl's cleverness, "She could've turned into any random person, but she chose Mary knowing that she'd be easily recognized. And I'll bet we only know she was there because the transfigured money changed back, which would be sure to alert magical authorities. It's a misdirect."

"Entirely possible," Dumbledore agreed.

Remus sighed. "So, basically, we still know nothing." Absolute despair conquered the territories and went back to work on its thriving settlement.

"I'm sorry that I don't have anything more favorable to report," said the white-haired wizard, "But we have a few other matters to discuss." He addressed Remus and James, "Mr. Lupin, Mr. Potter's parents have graciously offered to host you for the summer. I trust you will be on your best behavior."

James tried to think of something positive to say but instead just clapped a hand down on his friend's skinny shoulder and gave a supportive squeeze.

Dumbledore turned next to Sirius, announcing, "Mr. Black, your father will be arriving tonight to collect you and your brother. Please be packed and ready to leave."

Sirius's mouth dropped open in bewilderment and fear. "What?" the black-haired teen demanded.

"It seems as though there has been some confusion during past holidays about where you are and are not permitted to spend your time," Dumbledore explained, seeming a bit regretful, "So your father is coming here to collect you personally and see that you actually make it all the way home."

The only other times James had seen Sirius go so white was when the other boy had suffered grievous blood loss.

Last, the headmaster addressed Peter. "Mr. Pettigrew," he said, "You will also be leaving this evening. Your father is in St. Mungo's with a mild case of Dragon Pox, and your mother would like you to be there with him. As soon as you are packed, Professor McGonogall will escort you to an open floo."

Peter pouted but dutifully replied, "Yes, sir."

"Very well," Dumbledore murmured, "You are all dismissed."

xxXxx

The Tower felt empty.

James had thought so for the past three weeks (three weeks without pranks, without laughter, without the sound of Mina's joking and shouting and swearing), but the effect was even worse now that Sirius and Peter were gone as well. Sitting by himself in a secluded corner of the common room, the bespectacled teen did his best not to dwell on the fates of his various friends; the task was proving quite impossible.

Because how could he _not_ worry? Remus was letting guilt eat him alive. Sirius was banished to his childhood home of neglect and torture. Mina was out there somewhere, all alone with a broken heart.

"Potter."

James looked up into the dazzling green eyes of Lily Evans.

She didn't smile but politely inquired, "Is Remus still awake? I wanted to talk to him."

"I doubt it," replied James, "He went straight to bed after we saw Sirius and Peter off." A small part of the boy cheered triumphantly over the fact that Evans was voluntarily speaking with him, but he didn't have the energy to get too excited.

Evans frowned, sitting primly in the next chair. "Well," she asked, "How is he? I mean, obviously terrible, but... he'll be alright, won't he?" She'd been so caught up in her own depression that she hadn't played an active role in Remus's.

James sighed. "I honestly don't know. The only sure fix is to find Mina and bring her back. If that doesn't happen... I just don't know."

"I can't believe Mina would be so selfish and irresponsible," Evans grumbled, "Not even taking into account the obvious effect on her brother, she missed an entire week of exams-"

"This isn't her fault!" snapped James, surprising himself and his redheaded companion with the outburst. He ran a hand through his chaotic hair, forcing himself to calm down before asking, "Do you even know what happened?"

Using her usually sexy but suddenly grating know-it-all voice, Evans declared, "They got in a fight over what Black did to Seve-... to Snape." She looked like she might start crying just from the effort of having to say the name of her former friend out loud. But the girl bravely continued, "Mary didn't give me very many details, and Remus won't talk about it at all."

James cast a quick silencing charm around them, quietly explaining, "A lot of it is illegal. I'm not telling you anything unless you swear you're not going to report us."

The girl rolled her eyes disapprovingly. "Not like it ever makes a difference when I do," she said.

For what felt like the millionth time but what actually just the second or third, James told the tale from beginning to end. By the time he was done, the common room had emptied.

Evans stared at him like she was finally starting to understand. "Comedy of errors," she murmured, "Except without the comedy."

"Something like that," he agreed.

She shook her head. "And you're all Animagi? That's... most grown wizards can't even get close."

(She sounded almost impressed.)

"You'll get in so much trouble if you get caught."

James offered a halfhearted but hopefully charming grin. "The trick is not to get caught."

Rolling her eyes, the redhead complained, "Typical." She seemed to be thinking hard for a few moments and then added, "There's one thing that still doesn't make sense. Mina... she's not exactly the type to run from a conflict. I would've thought she'd just invent a few new obscenities, beat up all the interested parties, and move on."

"You really don't know her at all," huffed James. He struggled to come up with the right words to explain his friend. "Remus told me this story once," he remembered, "About... the first time he ever transformed."

James thought of how nervous he was to tell Remus that he'd figured out the Furry Little Secret. And Remus's panic, how it poured off him in waves even after James's repeated assurances that it didn't matter, that they were still friends and always would be.

"The first time Remus turned was in the hospital," James said, "He'd been there the whole month since he'd been bitten, and Mina barely let him out of her sight the entire time. She sat at his side every single day and night, left the door open when she went to the loo just so that she wouldn't have to take her eyes off him. She barely slept, and when she did, it was curled around him, holding on so tight that he'd be bruised when she woke..."

Lily leaned closer, listening intently.

James continued, "And the first time Remus turned, they thought... the healers said... no one expected him to make it. He was so young. They usually don't survive the turning when they're so young. Too much physical and mental trauma. Of course, no one wanted to tell him or Mina, so they waited until the very last second. One of the healers came into the room late that afternoon and said that the twins needed to say goodbye to each other, that Remus was going to be taken away, to a cage, and that he'd probably die there. Alone in agony."

"That's awful," the redhead interrupted.

Nodding in agreement, James said, "Their mother wouldn't tell them herself, but she convinced the healer that he should be as direct as possible. So that Remus and Mina would take him seriously." He chuckled, "But Remus told me that Mina... he was almost in tears, and she just rolled her eyes. She glared up at the healer and shouted, 'You're wrong! Remus is going to be fine! He'd never leave me all alone!' Then she grabbed a bedpan and whacked the healer in the head with it."

Evans shared an exasperated smirk.

"The last thing Remus remembers from that night," James went on, "Is laughing as they dragged him away. Mina made him laugh, and Mina said he was going to be fine, and so there was no reason to be afraid."

"That's sweet," Evans murmured.

With a fond smile, James declared, "Mina doesn't care about or like many people, but Remus is the center of her universe. He always has been. The look on her face when he said what he said... she was totally devastated."

Evans sighed, "Yes, that makes sense. I suppose it's just easy for me to forget that she has actual feelings."

"She does a pretty good job keeping it a secret," James joked, "So don't beat yourself up."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments before Evans declared, "It's late."

"Ya," said James, "I should finish packing."

They stood and parted and headed toward their separate staircases. As she reached the first step, Evans turned back around. "Potter?"

James stopped. So tired. "Ya?"

She paused, biting her lip nervously before finally blurting, "Will you... keep me updated? Over the summer? About Remus and everything?"

"Of course," James agreed. He smiled. "G'night, Evans."

"Good night, Potter."

It wasn't until later, after James had packed his trunk and turned out the lights and climbed into bed and almost fallen asleep, that he realized Lily Evans just asked him to write her over the summer.

xxXxx

It was a tradition in the Black family to confine Sirius to his room for the first two weeks of summer in order to punish the lad for being sorted into Gryffindor.

That year, his mother decided to add another two weeks for daring to date a half-blood.

"The scandal," she'd snarled as soon as he stepped inside, using her ugly old wand to drag Sirius through the ugly old manor, bouncing the boy off walls and banisters and only the pointiest of the heirloom sconces, "How dare you fraternize with such _filth_! I will not tolerate miscegenation from my own son!"

Sirius had a pretty good comeback for that one, but when he finally regained consciousness hours or possibly days later, he couldn't remember it at all.

The whole thing wasn't so bad once the bruises faded and Sirius could once again breathe without pain. He read a lot, and thought about Mina. He wanked, and pictured Mina. He did pushups, and worried about Mina. He did situps, and pined after Mina. He sang every muggle song he knew, and wished Mina were there to tell him to shut the bloody hell up.

Sirius marked the passage of time by carving notches into his floorboards. Sometimes he fell asleep when it was dark and woke up when it was dark and couldn't determine how much time had passed in between. Those were the most frustrating moments. The difference between hours and days.

And nearly every time he closed his eyes, Sirius had horrible, bone-chilling nightmares about the doors and windows disappearing, about being trapped and slowly suffocated as he screamed and begged and tried desperately to escape.

The room was hot, and it smelled of B.O. and chamber pot. Whenever Sirius woke from one of his nightmares, he was certain that the room had gotten hotter and smellier and just a bit smaller. He was absolutely sure he was running out of oxygen.

His mother was too much of a petty bitch to allow him the simple pleasure of a full stomach during his incarceration, but trays of hard bread and moldy cheese and tepid water appeared at sporadic intervals.

Sirius took great joy in leaving them untouched as he partook in the hearty food stash James had wisely encouraged him to pack.

Hogwarts seemed like a lifetime ago.

But finally, the day came when his door opened, and Sirius ventured hesitantly out into his family's home.

Though he was hoping to escape outside for a blessed breath of fresh air, Sirius was stopped by Regulus in the hall outside the younger boy's room.

"I have your mail," Reg whispered, pale and nervous as he looked all around for signs of their parents, "You've gotten a few dozen letters, all from Potter."

Sirius nodded. It took a moment for him to remember to speak aloud. "Thanks," he croaked, following his brother inside.

xxXxx

When she was asked later, Mina could give only a vague account of her whereabouts during her lengthy disappearance.

She knew she was Sunny for quite some time, careening through the forest as fast and as hard as her four legs would take her, collapsing and then doing it all again. But the girl had no idea how long that went on, even how far she traveled before her brain finally wrestled the reins away from her stupid shattered heart.

She paused near a town (whose name she never bothered to learn) to take stock:

She had her shrunken school trunk and all of the possessions she could magic inside it with her eyes blurred from tears. She had her wand, but since she was all by herself in the middle of nowhere, she couldn't use it without getting targeted for underage magic violations; she couldn't unshrink her trunk or get at anything inside, including her healthy stash of weed.

She had thirteen galleons, seven sickles, and a knut, along with twenty pounds worth of muggle money. But those were also in her trunk. In her right pocket, the girl found ten sickles and eight pounds.

She had three bottles of Polyjuice potion, thankfully unbroken and in her left pocket.

Mina got a room at a small inn, scoured days or possibly weeks of filth off her body, and then slept like death until the landlord threw her out the following afternoon.

Though slightly more clearheaded and immensely more clean, Mina still had no real plan. So she walked the sweltering back roads with no destination in mind, thinking and trying not to think and experiencing only minimal success at both.

On the second or possibly third day, a pair of elderly muggle women wearing odd black robes and driving a spluttering van stopped to offer her a ride. They fussed and cooed over her, insisting that she take some food from their cooler.

Mina couldn't remember when she last ate. She knew she must have at some point, because she hadn't starved to death in the two and a half weeks (she learned from the nuns) since she'd left school, but... well, the girl supposed it wasn't important enough to have made note of. She devoured a dozen sandwiches and drank her weight in ice cold water and nearly cried at how good it all tasted.

The women were called Sister Una and Sister Mary Elspeth. They were nuns, which explained the black robes and why Mina had originally suspected that they were witches.

Apparently nuns and witches dress very much alike. Go figure.

Anyways, contrary to every stereotype Mina had ever hear about nuns, Sister Una and Sister Mary Elspeth were very sweet. Mina rode with them all the way to Edinburgh, listening to their surprisingly hilarious stories; Sister Una tried to teach her how to knit; when they finally arrived at the inner-city convent, Sister Mary Elspeth offered to let Mina stay.

Mina did, but only for a few days. After realizing that the average age of the inhabitants of the convent was around sixty, the girl decided that she would repay the kindness she'd been shown by doing some cleaning and chores that had obviously been neglected. High-up dusting, tough scrubbing and scouring, even moving a load of heavy boxes into storage. Her detention skills really came in handy, and it was nice to know that at least one thing she'd learned in school had real-world applications. It was also nice to let her mind get lost in the physical labor for just a little while.

The afternoon when Mina finished the bulk of the task happened to be the same afternoon that she spotted some familiar faces.

She was accompanying Sister Una on a nearby shopping errand in the crowded downtown area; they turned a corner, and Mina immediately spied Frank Longbottom and Alice Newton just half a block away.

Fortunately, the young aurors didn't notice Mina. In fact, they disappeared within moments. As Mina walked calmly past the point of disappearance, she realized that it was the door to an old pub called _Balfour's Bane_. She took several hours to remember Balfour Blane, the wizard who established the Committee on Experimental Charms in the early 1600s; he started off as an auror but got sick of being turned into teapots and radishes and salamanders on a weekly basis by idiots messing around with new spells. Pete used to have several frog cards featuring the odd little bearded man, who sometimes sprouted extra appendages or a furry blue tongue.

Mina decided it was safe to assume that the convent happened to coincidentally be very close to Edinburgh's magical hub, much like London's Diagon Alley or Birmingham's Le Fey Center (well, before it was destroyed by Death Eating, Cock Eating morons).

There was no way Mina could stay so close. She was sure to eventually be recognized.

That got her thinking about the bottles of Polyjuice, which inspired a scheme.

Mina said goodbye to the nuns, promised to write, and then got to work.

First, she used a hair from Sister Mary Elspeth in one of the potions in order to transform into the withered lady. Disguised for the next hour, Mina strolled right through the front door of Balfour's Bane and out the back, where she encountered exactly what she expected.

The name was difficult to pronounce, some long, guttural Celtic thing. But apparently the locals liked to jokingly refer to the place as Camelot. It did look very much like a medieval castle, complete with cobblestones and turrets and even a goat (for some probably logical reason that escaped Mina's understanding). All the same sort of shops were there: the apothecary, the book store, the wand vendor, etc.

Speaking of wands, Mina was able to use hers without much fear of being caught. Even if authorities could pinpoint the underage magic in the midst of such a crowd, they surely wouldn't suspect the elderly witch as being the culprit.

So Mina unshrank her trunk, gaining access to everything inside. Of course, that meant she would have to carry it around at full size from then on, but it was a small price to pay for finally being able to change her clothes and smoke some grass. And a low-strength anti-grav charm helped to at least make the parcel lighter.

Mina transfigured an armful of paper scraps into _a lot_ of muggle money, only some of which would turn back within days. And then she put the next stage of her plan into action, transforming into Mary with a hair she found in her trunk and the second bottle of Polyjuice and heading for the airport. The ruse there went off without a hitch. Afterwards, Mina hopped a freight train and rode it as far south as she could, all the way to the sea. Then she snuck aboard a cargo ship destined for warmer water.

xxXxx

_Dear Lily, _

_Still no luck trying to make Remus write you back. It's a big victory for me just to get him out of bed, so I don't think I should push him too much. We haven't had any news about Mina, but apparently because of the counterfeit money she used, the Ministry is treating the search as a manhunt rather than a simple missing person case. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but I suppose it doesn't matter as long as they find her._

_I was sorry to hear about your fights with your sister. I don't know much about temperamental siblings, but hopefully a lovely tropical holiday will be just what you need to start getting along again. _

_Remember to wander out of the tourist areas as often as possible. You always find the best adventures that way. Have fun and be sure to write me all about it when you get back._

_James._

Lily caught herself smiling as she reread the letter. Somehow, she'd come to look forward to getting messages from Potter. At first, they only contained news about Remus and the hunt for Mina, but they eventually started to become more friendly and familiar. He told her about his worry over Remus and Mina and Sirius; she told him about her increasingly frequent fights with Petunia. Potter apparently took that as a challenge to cheer her up, which he actually did. A bit.

"Are you coming or not?"

The redhead looked up at her sister. "Yes, of course," said Lily, hurriedly stashing the parchment back in her bag, "I thought we could try a different beach today. One that's a little less crowded."

Petunia rolled her eyes and turned away to fuss with her hair in the large mirror in their hotel room. "I didn't buy a new bathing suit for fewer people to admire me in it," she haughtily declared.

Sighing, Lily argued, "I just want to see more of the island. You know, the less touristy parts."

Petunia turned, eyes narrowed. "You mean you want to go find some freaks like you to hang out with?" she spat, "Well, that's fine with me. Have fun."

"That's not what I meant at all, Tuney. Wait-"

But the older girl was already gone.

Lily couldn't help feeling depressed and discouraged, longing for the days when she and her sister were best friends. Of course, she was also sick of trying to be nice and having the efforts thrown back in her face. Maybe that was why it always bothered her so much when Mina Lupin did the same thing...

Deciding not to let Petunia ruin her day, Lily stood and set out for adventure. She wandered away from the hotel, the crowded streets filled with cheap knickknacks and tourists dumb enough to buy them. She caught a cab and asked the driver to take her to a quieter, less tourist-centered beach.

The young black man was happy to oblige, introducing himself as Daniel and giving her a short history of the island and the landmarks they passed on their long slow drive. Jamaica was certainly a rich, beautiful country, and Lily was glad to get to enjoy more than just the stretch of beach immediately outside her hotel in Kingston.

(Though she hated to admit it, the girl knew that Potter had been right to encourage her to explore.)

Daniel took her to the much smaller adjacent town of Portmore. She mentioned that she was a bit hungry, so he dropped her off at a restaurant/bar owned by his mother, a squat old woman named Mrs. Gale.

Mrs. Gale served up a massive lunch that, while tasty, was a bit spicy. Lily was still trying to put out the fire in her mouth when it was time to leave, barely listening as Mrs. Gale instructed her to come back when she was ready to go the hotel, that Daniel would be happy to return and pick her up. Lily kept nodding, gulping down the beer she'd been given in an attempt to quench the burn.

Lily wandered down to the beach, stretching out close to the crystal blue water and relaxing with a book for many hours. She fell asleep, and when she woke, the sun hung low on the horizon. It really was a marvelous day. And the only thing that hurt it at all was the knowledge that she would have to return to the hotel and to her hateful sister.

But in the meantime, at least Lily could sit and have another beer at the restaurant while she waited for Daniel to return.

The place was packed and loud, filled with bodies and laughter and steely drum music. Lily spent nearly fifteen minutes trying to get Mrs. Gale's attention, but the old woman finally did put in a call to her son. And after that it was just a matter of sitting patiently at the bar.

Suddenly the laughter turned to curses and cries of alarm. Lily turned her head and saw two likely intoxicated young men shoving each other.

A shadowed corner near the rear of the bar spat out a sandy-haired ball of fury. The crowd parted for the woman as she stalked across the room, and, with just one heated, half-insane stare, she stopped the fight before it could even begin.

The two men shook hands, apologized profusely, and then both offered to buy the woman a drink.

That was when the music and relaxed chatter resumed, so Lily couldn't hear the growled response as the woman turned and retreated to the dark corner.

Heart in her throat, Lily did her best not to look, at least not to stare too obviously because she'd just found Mina bloody Lupin.

xxXxx

"Moony," James sighed, jabbing his friend hard in the shoulder, "C'mon, mate. You have to get up some time."

Remus remained limp, sprawled under his covers. Where he'd been almost nonstop since arriving at the Potter home several weeks earlier. "No, I don't," he argued, mumbling into the mattress.

James wasn't entirely certain that he could handle another day of looking after the moping werewolf, let alone the whole next month before school started. He grabbed hold of an exposed ankle and yanked hard.

After falling to the floor with a startled curse, Remus sat up, rubbed his bruised behind, and glared. "Leave me alone," he ordered, but even for that he conjured surprisingly little emotion. His bloodshot eyes blazed out of a face that was almost unrecognizable, pale and scruffy with unkempt sandy beard. The July full moon had been particularly rough, and Remus had several new scars above his right eyebrow to prove it. With the August full moon approaching quickly, James shuddered to think how much worse the wolf would get if he didn't have his sister returned.

"Not a chance," said James, "Sunny is going to be back any day now, and she's going to kick my arse if she finds out I let you waste away all summer."

Remus's bottom lip trembled. "She's not coming back," the young man stated flatly, "At least not on her own. And it's going to take a miracle I don't deserve to track her down, so spare me the unrealistic optimism, alright?"

James grabbed a handful of his unruly black hair and tugged in frustration. He was losing his mind. He wanted it to stop. "You know what, Moony?" he spat, "Fuck you."

Remus blinked, expression blank but vaguely surprised.

"That's right!" James continued, "You heard me! Fuck you! I have to be a bloody optimist because I'm always surrounded by all you doom-and-gloom pessimists! And you know what else? Maybe if you weren't so quick to assume the worst, then we wouldn't be in this mess!"

There was something to be said for tough love, but James thought that he might've gone a bit too far with this particular example.

He was sure of it when Remus promptly burst into tears.

James groaned, sitting by his friend's side and slinging an arm around his heaving shoulders.

"It was all my fault," blubbered Remus, dripping snot and tears into the bushy growth on his top lip, "I just want to tell her that it was all my fault, and that I'm sorry, and that I miss her, but I'm never going to be able to because she's not coming back! I miss her so much, Prongs! I can't- all she ever did was look out for me!" He swiped angrily at his gushing eyes. "She swore she'd never leave me."

James nodded, "I know, Moony. Everything is going to work out." He smirked, teasing, "Hey, bet you a galleon we find her this week."

Remus coughed and hiccupped. He did his best to dry his face on the sheets. "You said that last week," the teen halfheartedly declared, "And the week before."

"Ya, well," James replied, "Triple or nothing then. What do you say?"

With a shrug, the morose werewolf answered, "Sure. What do I have to lose?"

xxXxx

The first week she was on the island, Mina had no idea what island it was. She didn't care, honestly. She liked the warm weather and the spicy food, and exchanging weed for local currency wasn't at all difficult.

She learned from one of the dreadlocked men that the island was Jamaica. The town was Portmore, just across the harbor from the capital city of Kingston.

Not that it mattered.

With enough fake and real money combined to live off of for at least a few months, Mina just _didn't care_. She couldn't summon the energy. She drank and smoked and wandered up and down the beach, sleeping under the stars and pointedly never looking at the moon.

Until, one day, she came across two men fighting outside a beachside restaurant. Usually she wouldn't care, but an old woman was trying to break them up and getting pushed around for her trouble.

Mina marched right up to the men and started swinging.

And it felt so _good_. The red-hot anger, even the pain in her knuckles and her jaw. She realized that she'd been numb since emerging from the forest. And it felt _so good_ not to be numb or heartbroken. The rage filled her from head to toe, pushing out all other undesirable emotions and erupting into unfettered violence.

She put one of the men in the hospital. She didn't mean to, but that's what happened.

The old woman's son, Daniel, was grateful to Mina for defending his mother. He talked Mrs. Gale into giving her a sort of unofficial job. The restaurant was a favorite for locals and had recently had problems with fights. If Mina could keep the peace, then she'd get meals and a cot in the back.

Bouncer. Mina was a bouncer again. She really liked being a bouncer. If she was going to start a new life, then a fun new job that she was very good at was certainly a decent start.

"Miss Pandora Wolf," Daniel laughed as he emerged through the back door, "Earnin your keep, mon?"

Mina shrugged. She'd gotten used to being called by the fake name. "Not like it's much of a challenge lately," the girl replied, "No one wants to fight me."

Daniel's blinding white grin lit up his dark face. "Dat's because you scare de hell out of dem," he chuckled, "Dey sayin you some kinda demon." He grabbed a cold beer and set it on her small reserved table, winking. "I have one more fare," he said, "And den I be back for dinner. You gonna eat wit me, mon? Mama's jerk chicken tonight."

Mina wasn't hungry. She was hardly ever hungry, but Mrs. Gale fussed so much if she didn't eat. "Ya, sure," the girl declared, taking a long swig out of the frosty bottle, "But isn't it a bit late for you to still be working?"

"I brought a tourist out here dis mornin," Daniel explained, "She wanted a quiet beach. I promised to drive her back into Kingston tonight. Shouldn't take too long, mon."

"Whatever," Mina said, reclining against the wall and surveying the room for anymore signs of trouble.

Daniel laughed again. He was always so upbeat, like James-

_No,_ Mina scolded herself sternly, _Don't think about him. Don't think about any of them._

She felt her rage swell and really hoped that there would be another fight. She wanted to kick the crap out of someone. Anyone.

"Dere she is now," Daniel declared, waving down at the bar, "Cute English girl like you. Maybe I have dinner wit her instead, make you jealous."

Mina rolled her eyes. At least the flirting was infrequent and mostly in jest. "Go get her, tiger," she quipped.

Then, kind of on a whim, she glanced at the "cute English girl."

"You have got to be kidding me," Mina groaned as she locked gazes with Lily fucking Evans.

Evans got up and ran out of the restaurant, and Mina had no choice but to chase after her.

xxXxx

"Thank Merlin," Sirius sighed, sidling up next to Mary and feeling marginally relaxed for the first time in weeks.

The tall girl smiled, fidgeting with her clingy gown and messy dark hair. "I was wondering where you were," she said, "I've been so bored."

Sirius nodded and poached two flutes of something blessedly alcoholic off a passing tray. "Tell me about it," he declared, downing both drinks in one gulp and quickly snagging two more, "What're you doing here?"

"My cousin asked me to come with him," she explained with an annoyed huff, "He didn't want to go either, but the host is a big sponsor of his team, so he couldn't get out of it. Of course, now he's ignoring me in favor of everything in a low-cut dress."

Chuckling, Sirius countered, "Consider that a stroke of luck. If he were to pay too close attention to you, this crowd would start trying to plan your wedding."

Mary wrinkled her nose at the very idea.

And then Sirius realized something. "Your cousin wouldn't happen to be Michael MacDonald, would he? Chaser for the Arrows?"

Shrugging, Mary stated, "Yes, but he's not here. I came with Malcolm."

"Malcolm MacDonald," repeated Sirius, "Chaser for Portree?"

Mary nodded.

Sirius was impressed. "I didn't realize they were related."

"Brothers," Mary explained, "And my other cousins are Mitchell MacDonald and Morna MacDonald-Desjardins. Though they aren't siblings."

"Interesting," said Sirius. Chasers for Puddlemere and Ballycastle. "No wonder you're such a bloody good keeper."

"A side-effect of being used for target practice during most of my childhood," Mary laughed. "Do you want to meet Mal?" she offered, "I could probably tear him away for a few moments."

Sirius shook his head. "Maybe later," the young man declared, yanking at the too tight collar of his dress robes (to no avail; the bloody things were charmed on), "I need to concentrate on getting well and truly drunk before my mother starts bombarding me with _suitable wives_."

"So still no news on Mina then?" asked Mary.

"Nope," Sirius replied, "According to James, Remus is a wreck."

Frowning sadly, Mary reported, "I assumed as much when he never answered any of my letters." She paused for a long moment, staring intently. "And what about you? How are you doing?"

Sirius smirked, trying for nonchalance but perfectly aware that the dark circles under his eyes and the gauntness of his face kind of ruined the effect. At least she couldn't see the bruises. "Nothing I can't handle," the young man insisted, "But I'll be much better once Mina turns up."

"You're certainly she will?" Mary whispered. She seemed to get flustered by her own comment, hastily adding, "Not that I don't think she will. Just... well, I've never met anyone more stubborn. It's not like she's going to suddenly come to her senses and board the next train home."

Sirius shrugged. "Ya, I know," he declared, smiling fondly, "She'll get caught. Probably soon. She's not very good at laying low. Frankly, I'm impressed that she's gone so long without setting a fire or starting a riot."

Laughing, Mary agreed, "Ya, you're probably right."

xxXxx

Running in sand was difficult, though from the way the irate shouting drew nearer, Mina didn't seem to be having quite as much trouble at it as Lily was.

And Lily had to run in sand and try to think at the same time. Because she had no idea how to handle the situation. Even if she did evade Mina, Lily didn't have access to an owl or a floo, and she had no idea where she could find either on the island. Searching for signs of wizarding activity would waste precious time and might still prove unfruitful. Muggle post would be just as slow, and she didn't know of any witches or wizards who had telephones.

And even assuming Lily could eventually find a way to contact someone helpful, Mina would probably be long gone.

So if Lily was going to have a chance at getting Mina home, then the redhead was going to need to stop and try to speak to the probably enraged, possibly psychotic girl.

_Well_, Lily thought, _At least she can't use her wand, so I'll only get beaten instead of cursed_.

And that's when Lily realized something useful.

She stopped and turned, fishing her own wand out of her beach bag.

Mina closed the remaining distance quickly but stopped short just a few steps away, seemingly coming to the same realization that Lily had. "Don't," she snarled, "I'm warning you, Evans."

"You need to go home, Lupin," Lily panted, "Please. I don't want to do this."

The gaunt girl's sunken eyes and wild hair blazed red in the sunset. She looked skeletal and demonic. Terrifying.

But when she spoke, her voice cracked. "They're better off," Mina said, like the words pained her.

"What are you talking about?" Lily argued (actually, she couldn't believe she was the one having to make the argument, or that she sort of meant it), "Of course they're not better off! They love you and miss you!"

Mina shook her head. "They'll get over it," she murmured, cackling meanly, seemingly at herself, "C'mon, Evans. You can't honestly say you haven't wished for this. Consider it a parting gift and just _let me go_."

Oh, how tempting the offer was. But as much peace as Lily might gain in her own life with Mina gone, the redhead knew that the sorrow would be a hundredfold for Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, and even Mary.

"You're going to come with me, and we're going to find a floo and get you home," Lily announced, fist clenching tighter around her wand, "Or I'll start casting spells and have a squad of aurors here in thirty seconds to investigate gross violations of the Decree for Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy."

Mina stared at her for a long time. The sunset's red light faded rapidly to murky darkness, leaving the girl looking like just a girl again, small and scared and sad and lost. Then she broke into unhinged laughter. "Just the fact that you know the full names of both those moronic laws tells me that you're too much of a goody-two-shoes to actually break either of them."

She turned around and started to walk away.

Almost without a thought, Lily raised her wand and began the fireworks.

xxXxx

Though she found herself handcuffed and sitting in a stuffy windowless cell in the Jamaican Ministry of Magic's Department of Magical Law Enforcement office, though she was probably going to be shipped home to face the friends and family she'd abandoned in her fit of self-loathing, Mina couldn't help feeling just a tiny bit amused.

Because Lily Evans was also handcuffed and seated across from her.

"You know what, Evans?" Mina deadpanned, stretching her legs and trying to stretch her arms as much as she could while they were lashed together at the small of her back.

Her cellmate glared contemptuously.

With an unenthusiastic smirk, Mina declared, "I have never liked or respected you as much as I do at this moment."

"Shut up," snarled Evans.

"They'll be obliviating people for days," continued Mina, "We'll both have to go before the Wizengamot. I always figured Sirius would be my first co-defendant."

"Shut. Up." Evans repeated, growing progressively more furious.

Her parents were reportedly on their way to bail her out, so the fury was not without good cause.

"Though I suppose that's not really fair," said Mina, "After all,_ I_ didn't violate the Decree for Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery or the International Confederation of Wizards' Statute of Secrecy."

"_Shut up!_" Evans hissed

With a bemused cackle, Mina observed, "That fourth or fifth spell you cast, that was James's fire lion. He's been working on that for years to use after quidditch games. He said he wasn't ready to unveil it."

Evans's anger suddenly morphed into face-reddening embarrassment. "He's been keeping me updated over the summer," she grudgingly explained, "He may have mentioned the spell at some point."

Mina wasn't sure she liked that at all. "How cozy," the girl taunted.

The color of Evans's pale cheeks went from coy-maidenly-blush to doused-with-scalding-water-crimson. "It's your fault!" she insisted, "I wouldn't have had to write Potter if it weren't for the fact that Remus is too depressed to get out of bed, let alone respond to letters."

Mina clammed up quickly, feeling like someone was putting her heart through a juicer. Just the thought that Remus was unhappy... but no. She would not allow herself the luxury of asking for more information.

Unfortunately, Evans really wanted to give some. She leaned closer, whispering, "Potter told me what happened. You got it all wrong. Black didn't do anything. Mary and Potter made up the story to keep you all out of Azkaban."

The revelation sank in slowly. It made perfect sense, and Mina suddenly felt very stupid for not even having entertained the possibility before that moment.

But she also decided something else: "It doesn't matter."

Evans stared at her in shock and horror. "What the hell do you mean _it doesn't matter_?" she demanded, "Of course it matters! The whole thing was a big misunderstanding, so you can stop punishing them and just go home!"

Mina sighed, suddenly so tired. "That's what you think I'm doing?" she challenged, "Punishing them? Evans, I am saving them."

"From what?" the redhead scoffed.

"From me, you idiot," Mina snapped in reply. She looked away, unable to tolerate the odd expression of pity on the other girl's face. "There's something wrong with me," Mina explained, "Always has been. And it seems like the longer I'm around people, the worse I make them. Until my sweet, kindhearted brother is lashing out and calling names and actually trying to hurt me, until my loving boyfriend is going around betraying his best friends and orchestrating murders to make me happy." She leveled her glare across the cell, darkly adding, "And Snape's murder would have made me very, _very_ happy."

Evans stared for a moment and then shivered. For a long time, she seemed to be struggling to respond.

Mina took that burden away, finally announcing, "So it really doesn't matter that this was a misunderstanding. I'm still me, and I can't change. If I could for anyone, I'd do it for them, but I can't. I've tried. I've been trying since before I could walk to just... be normal. Be _nice_. Be someone who doesn't constantly battle down monstrous, bloodthirsty rage that seems to come from nowhere and no reason in particular." She shrugged. "I love my friends because they love me the way I am. They never make me apologize or feel like a freak. But they... just because they love me the way I am doesn't mean I'm not toxic. And it's time for all of us to stop living in denial."

"Shut up," Lily murmured. She looked like she might cry, which was so ridiculously annoying that Mina had the urge to slap her. The redhead shook herself and declared, "How on earth can you be such a narcissist and still have such severe self-esteem issues?"

"Way to miss the point, fire-crotch."

Rolling her eyes, Lily continued, "Remus lost his temper because he's human, not because you're a colossal bitch. If he can't change you, then you certainly can't change him. And Black didn't do anything at all. I don't even think he's capable of arranging for anyone to be killed, let alone doing it just for your approval."

"And you're the expert?" Mina challenged. She couldn't help feeling bemused that the argument that she _wasn't_ a gruesome, poisonous influence on everyone around her was coming from Evans of all people.

Evans huffed and shook her head. "I know all about having your heart broken by careless words from someone you love very much," she declared, "The sooner you forgive yourself for the things you had no control over, the sooner you can forgive Remus for giving into his fear and frustration and anger. What happened was a lot of stupidity and bad luck all in a row. That's it. If you have any sense left in that thick skull, you won't be so quick to abandon the good things in your life over hurt feelings and self-hatred."

The door of the cell opened.

Mina stood, grinning inanely. "I'm ready to make my statement now," she said.

The dark-skinned guard looked confused. Wary. Maybe it was because Mina had threatened to kick his cock up into his skull and listen to it rattle around like a marble in a tin can.

"I confess," Mina declared, "I attacked this poor wayward ginger. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I don't like her face. But anyways, you probably won't be able to make any case against her, seeing as how she was just defending herself."

"Lupin," Evans snapped. She stood, addressing the guard much more politely. "She's taking the piss," the girl insisted, "It wasn't self-defense-"

"I'm a dangerous, deranged fugitive," Mina shouted at the top of her lungs. She smirked and added, "Obviously." Then, lightning quick, she charged the startled guard, knocked him to the ground, and took off running through the dim halls.

xxXxx

"What the hell do you mean she escaped?" Remus demanded.

Once Dumbledore sent word that Mina had been found in Jamaica, the Dark Lord himself couldn't have kept the young werewolf from hurling himself into the floo.

Sighing, James put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Calm down, mate," he ordered, "She can't have gotten very far."

The tall auror in charge of the investigation nodded, agreeing, "She's still in de building, mon. We know dat for sure."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Oh, well that's fine then," he snapped, "As long as she's only escaped into a massive magical structure." He spun around and stomped off, shouting, "Mina! Mina, come out! Please!"

Dumbledore tutted. "Excuse Mr. Lupin," the old man announced, "He's been distraught since his sister's disappearance."

Shrugging, the lanky dreadlocked auror replied, "We gonna find her. De building is locked up tight. And she still handcuffed."

James had a nagging suspicion it would take more than that to hold the girl for long.

"Perhaps we might speak to Miss Evans in the meantime?" Dumbledore suggested.

The auror nodded and led them through a maze of brightly colored hallways until finally opening a heavy door and beckoning them through.

Evans stood immediately, sighing, "Thank Merlin! Did you catch her?"

James shook his head. "Not yet," he said, "But they locked the building about thirty seconds after she ran, so she's in here somewhere."

Huffing, the girl pulled at her cuffs and replied, "So it'll only be another week before we find her then." She paused. "Where's Remus? Already searching?"

James nodded. And he also remembered, "I need to tell my parents what's happening. And Sirius and Peter. Remus left so quick I didn't have a chance to owl anyone."

"I have already spoken with your parents," Dumbledore announced, "They will be arriving shortly. As for Mr. Black and Mr. Pettigrew, you may inform them if you wish, but please don't encourage them to rush down here. What's that old expression? Too many cooks spoil the soup?"

With a dry chuckle, James answered, "No offense, sir, but I don't think any old expressions will keep Sirius away."

xxXxx

While Sirius was at home, his mail had about a two-, maybe three-in-five chance of actually making it into his hands. If he or Reg got the owl, then there was no problem. Sometimes his father would pass messages along, if the old man wasn't feeling particularly spiteful or apathetic. Any post that arrived in sight of his mother or Kreacher was systematically invaded and burned, but Sirius usually wasn't punished for it. Well, at least not more than a backhand or a delusional, profanity-laced tirade.

So when a brightly colored tropical bird arrived during breakfast, in full sight off the entire family, Sirius knew that he was never going to get to read the letter it carried.

After his mother did, after she tore it to shreds and then once again bounced Sirius's head off every hard surface between there and his bedroom, the lad had the hazy thought that the letter must've contained something important.

The one suspicion that made the most sense was Mina. A development. Hopefully news that she'd been found.

Sirius dug out his two-way mirror and demanded his friend's presence for fifteen solid minutes.

Finally, James's face appeared. It looked like it was shaking, but on second glance, Sirius decided that the mirror on James's end must've been shaking, the background rushing by in a blur as the lad ran down an unfamiliar hallway.

"_Jamaica_," James puffed, "_The Ministry building. She's here somewhere._"

"I'm on my way," answered Sirius. Then he remembered that he was once again locked into his room.

Another thought occurred to him:

What kind of excuse was that? Certainly not one he could ever give without hanging his head in shame. He was Sirius Black, for Merlin's sake. He was only locked up because he was letting himself stay that way.

From then on, it was all just so... obvious.

He packed everything he cared about and used his beater bat to smash straight through a wall. He tried to convince Regulus to come; when the younger boy wouldn't, Sirius said goodbye.

Slinking away would've been entirely undignified for such an auspicious moment, but Sirius also couldn't risk being warded more securely back into his prison. So instead he stole his mother's jewelry box and lit the oldest, most expensive heirloom he could find—a hideous 12th century tapestry—on fire. He shouted, "I'm in love with a half-blood, and you can kiss my Gryffindor arse!"

And then he ran like hell away from home without a backwards glance.

xxXxx

In the middle of the sixth hour of the search, Remus suddenly started laughing. Hysterically. So much so that he couldn't breathe and had to sit down.

After what seemed like forever waiting for the storm to calm, James finally got an explanation out of his friend:

"When we were little," the werewolf said, still wiping tears of laughter out of his bloodshot eyes, "Mina always won hide-and-seek. She could always find me in five minutes or less, but I never once found her. I'd search for what felt like forever, getting more and more terrified that I'd never find her at all. And just when I was about to give up hope of ever seeing her again, she'd just... appear. She'd hug me and say that we could call it a draw. Because she said it was too boring waiting for me to figure out where she was."

James didn't know how to respond. Didn't know how to help anyone or fix anything, and he was getting really bloody sick of feeling so entirely helpless.

That's when Sirius jogged around the nearest corner, his battered, bloody face breaking into a lopsided grin.

They all stared at him in shock, but Lily (recently released from Ministry custody but still sticking around) was the first to ask, "What happened to you?

Completely ignoring the question, Sirius declared, "I have an idea."

"I didn't realize until now just how much I missed hearing that," James replied. He clapped his almost-brother into a quick, manly hug and then got to work with the healing spells. (With the entire Ministry staff distracted by a manhunt in their own offices, there was probably no one paying any attention to illegal underage magic usage.) (Plus, he couldn't help noticing that Evans looked kind of impressed.)

Sirius squirmed but submitted to the aid. "Mina's mad at us, right?" he babbled excitedly, "So what we need to do is-"

"She's not mad at you," Evans interrupted.

They stared at her in confusion.

She seemed embarrassed, reluctantly sighing, "We were talking. While we were in the cell. She's not mad at you. She's somehow convinced herself that it was all her fault. That she's a horrible person and she's made you all into horrible people and she has to leave before she does more damage."

Looking like he might start crying at any moment, Remus dolefully whispered, "T-That's what she thinks? But she can't... she didn't even do anything, and I..."

Sirius gave the werewolf's shoulder a squeeze. "It'll be alright, Moony," he soothed, "She gets some weird ideas in her head. Last time she had convinced herself that she was evil. She just needs to be talked out of it, and everything can go back to normal."

James couldn't help being surprised. He honestly didn't think Mina was even self-aware enough to question her own possible moral failings, let alone obsess over them. And generally no one _just talked her out_ _of_ something once she'd set her absurdly stubborn mind to it.

"We still have to find her first," muttered Remus. He climbed back to his feet, miserably.

Nodding, Sirius declared, "I have a new idea."

xxXxx

After nearly pulling both her shoulders out of their sockets, Mina finally managed to contort her body enough to move her shackled hands from behind her to in front. At least that way she had a bit more mobility and balance.

She sat as still as she could, hiding beneath a desk in a thankfully empty office. Well, it was really more of a cupboard that had been turned into an office; she pitied the pathetic, unimportant bastard forced to work there every day.

But that was beside the point. What Mina really needed to be doing was figuring a way out of the building. She'd heard the lockdown go into effect. Hours and hours ago. And still the girl was no closer to any useful plans on how to escape it.

She heard footsteps outside the door and held her breath. The office had been searched, halfheartedly, several times already. Usually the door opened and then closed again in moments.

This time, the footsteps continued into the room.

"Sunshine."

It was Sirius's voice.

Mina's heart leapt. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, but instead she forced herself to stay still and silent.

"I'm fairly certain you're in here," he said. There was a smile in his voice as he stepped farther inside and shut the door behind him. "I'm also certain you don't want to talk to me. But since you're a captive audience, I don't mind doing the talking."

Her head swam, and the girl realized that she never started breathing again.

"No one is mad at you," Sirius continued, "And we would never want you to leave us. You're not a toxic influence. You keep us all honest. You make us laugh. You stand up for us. What else is there to look for in a best friend? We love you, Sunshine. Please, come back to us."

She could feel her will rapidly eroding at just the sound of his voice. She put her hands over her mouth, trying to stifle a sob.

But apparently he heard anyways, quickly rounding the desk and appearing in view. His cheeks were much more hollow than she remembered, and his face looked a bit bruised. But, dear Merlin, Mina couldn't believe how happy she was to see him. She wouldn't have thought she was still capable of so much happiness.

Sirius grinned ecstatically and greeted, "Hello, love."

Mina sniffled and choked, "Go away."

"I gave moving, heartfelt speeches to nearly every room in this place just hoping to find the right one," the handsome young man joked, "Can't I at least stay for a while and rest my poor vocal cords?"

"Prick," Mina chuckled, wiping her eyes, still finding her vision blurred.

Sirius crawled under the desk, squeezing beside the girl. He wrapped his arms around her.

Mina shuddered and melted into the embrace, so unbelievably relieved.

"So," said Sirius, "How was your summer?"

Mina shrugged. She was suddenly tired, bone-deep weariness making her limbs and eyelids heavy.

Sirius didn't seem to mind. He held her close, kissed her forehead. He murmured, "Well, I ran away from home. That's been quite nice so far. Maybe you had the right idea after all."

"Padfoot," Mina whispered, "I'm sorry. I just couldn't..."

She felt him nod. "I understand, love," the lad declared, "There'll be plenty of time to talk about it later."

Mina laughed. "Sounds like a plan..."

xxxxxxxxxx

If you think that was too easy, you're right. Stay tuned, sports fans. Mwahaha.

And review, pretty please.


	24. Doors

Part 24 – Doors

After sleeping for nearly twenty-four hours straight, Mina woke, looked up at James, and frowned. "Have your eyes always been that color?" the dazed girl wondered aloud.

James smirked. "As far as I know," he replied, not bothering to check that they were, in fact, still hazel, "Why? What color should they be?"

She shook herself and ignored the question. She sat up, stretched, peered around the room. Her room in the Potter manor. Frowning even deeper, Mina demanded, "What am I doing here?"

"You feel asleep at the Jamaican Ministry," James explained, "We brought you home after you were released. How do you feel?"

Mina shrugged and went quiet.

Sighing, James threw an arm around her shoulders and held on despite her peevish squirms. "I'm jealous of your adventure," he announced. Best to keep things light. "Moony didn't want to do anything fun, let alone relax on a nice tropical beach."

She stared blankly.

"Mary said she's going to try to visit soon," James babbled, "And she said she's going to try to score us free quidditch tickets for this weekend. That would be a nice, eh? Merlin knows Moony needs some sunshine in his life, in more ways than one."

Yet another shrug.

The quiet made James unbearably nervous. "C'mon, love," he begged, "Aren't you going to scream and swear even a little? Surprisingly, I think that's what I missed most."

He thought he saw a hint of a reluctant smile, but if it existed at all, it was gone very quickly.

James sighed. "Well," he said, "Mum is making breakfast. I'm sure she'll be up here soon to fuss all over you."

"Not hungry," murmured Mina. She lay down, curling up into a little ball under the covers. And that was it; no matter what James said or did, Mina refused to respond.

It was almost like not having her back at all.

But he knew she was at least listening. So he did what he'd been sent to do: he told the long, horrible story of everything that went wrong on that ill-fated June night.

xxXxx

Clearly anxious, Remus hovered just outside his sister's door and strained to hear what was happening on the other side of it. Even though he damn well knew. It was his idea for James to tell Mina the story, after all.

Sirius would've liked to be the one to do it, but... well, several of the fuckups were his own, and perhaps it was best to have the most blameless of their little crew explain all the bad luck and idiocy that had driven their girl away.

"What's taking so damn long?" complained Remus. With the August full moon only days away, the young werewolf's patience was declining rapidly as his temper grew more wild.

"It's a long story," Sirius reminded his friend. Keeping his distance, because that was always a good choice ever since Sirius had started dating a werewolf's sister.

Remus huffed, clenching and unclenching his fists, grumbling occasionally. He'd thankfully shaved his nappy growth of facial hair, so the grumbling only made him look a little annoyed instead of a lot like a raving homeless lunatic.

After a few more minutes, James emerged from the bedroom and flashed a tentative smile. "Uh," he said, "I told her, but... I don't know. She didn't say anything."

"Nothing?" Remus gaped.

Mina always had something to say, especially on the subject of other people's stupidity.

James nodded gloomily.

"Come on, boys," Mrs. Potter interrupted as she arrived with a tray of food, "I told you not to crowd her. There'll be plenty of time to talk later while she's enjoying house arrest."

Sirius laughed out loud and got glared at for his trouble. "Oh," said Sirius, "You're not joking."

The petite older woman gave a somber head shake. "Not at all," she declared, "She's still in custody, but Mr. Potter and I were able to arrange to watch her while the Ministry decides what they can charge her with."

Growling low in his throat, Remus insisted, "They'll never prove a thing. Mina's too smart."

Rolling her eyes, Mrs. Potter pushed through the door and declared, "We'll see."

xxXxx

Turned out "house arrest" was more accurately "property arrest." As long as Mina didn't venture past the borders of the vast Potter estate, she was in compliance with the terms of her release.

And it was a good thing, too, because her friends were driving her crazy. They treated her like glass, addressing the girl with soft tones and constantly offering to talk about her feelings.

She really thought they knew her better than that.

Someone would've ended up irreparably maimed if Mina hadn't been able to escape into the woods, soaking up some sun and doing her best to sort through all the shit floating around in her head. Unfortunately, learning the truth of what happened in June had only added more shit.

Mina kept getting lost in plotting sadistic, disturbingly detailed ways to massacre Snape, which always brought her right back to thinking of herself as a horrible person, which depressed her, which enraged her, which took her once more to thoughts of murder.

Vicious cycle.

Stretching in the grass, the girl kept her Animagus senses tuned to the environment, every gust of hot sweet breeze and every rustle of leaves. Any sign of meddlesome boys closing in.

She didn't count on a sneak attack from above.

Mina heard a high-pitch shriek, opened her eyes, and was barely able to scramble out of the way in time to avoid being squashed flat by a falling rat.

Peter hit the ground hard but thankfully hit it rolling. After he managed to catch his breath and struggle into a sitting position, he didn't seem too worse for wear. "Bloody hell," the pudgy blonde declared, "Prongs might've warned me about the property wards. Damn things took me clean off my broom."

Mina started to explain that the wards had been strengthened to prevent her from making a run for it. But she caught herself and instead replied, "I don't think he expected you to be flying in since you never have before."

"Ya," Pete agreed with a shrug and a weak smile, "But I also never had a new broom before." He frowned and then looked around, seemingly unable to find said broom. "Well, at least I did have one..."

Laughing, Mina stood and gave her friend a hand up. "I'll help you look," she offered, "It can't have gone far."

Peter grinned, so dopey and adoring and _normal_. In all likelihood, he'd completely forgotten that he was there because everyone thought Mina was insane.

The girl had never been so glad to be friends with the portly youth.

"Thanks," said Pete, waddling along as they scanned the bushes for indications of impact, "My dad'll be pissed if I lost it already. He's really excited about having me tryout for quidditch after Creevy and Jones graduate."

Mina chuckled. "That's a year away."

"A year too soon," Peter answered. He shrugged, "Dad had dragon pox over the summer, and ever since then I think he's been in a mid-life crisis. But instead of getting a mistress or a convertible, like a normal person, he's been trying to make sure I carry on the family name and make it proud. After my OWL scores came, he decided that sports might be the family name's only hope."

"Aw, Wormy," Mina laughed, "I'll tell you a secret. The second you stop giving a shit about making your dad proud is the second he's going to start respecting you, which is really all he wants anyways. Fuck that _aspiring to greatness_ shit. You don't aspire. You put greatness on like a robe and walk out of the store like you already own it."

Peter smirked as he considered the remarks. Finally, he asked, "So... does that mean you won't help me train?"

Mina grabbed his broom out of a tangle of weeds. She inspected the fairly unremarkable model and handed it back with a smile. "Of course I will," she answered, "Just don't expect me to go easy on you."

xxXxx

Family Dinner. That was what Mrs. Potter called it.

Sirius would've called the exercise Awkward Silence with a Side of Food, but James's mum didn't seem to be in any mood to hear a suggested name change.

The petite older woman frowned, watching the other end of the table where Mina slouched and poked morosely at her meal.

Clearing his throat, ruffling his stark white hair, Mr. Potter announced, "My office is sending over some aurors tomorrow. They're going to interview you, Mina."

"Ok," the girl quietly agreed.

She was being cooperative. This was much more serious than Sirius had originally thought.

"Would you like me to arrange an attorney?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Yes," Remus piped up.

Mina shrugged, "No point."

Growling, Remus argued, "There is a point! The point is keeping you out of Azkaban!"

"I'm not going to Azkaban," Mina sighed, "Not this time anyways."

There was stunned silence.

Finally, Mrs. Potter put a flustered hand to her spindly throat and gasped, "What do you mean, dear?"

Mina chuckled but without any genuine mirth. "Nothing," she replied, "Don't worry about it. There's no evidence on me. I might've gotten a slap on the wrist, but Evans was too stupidly noble to let me take the blame for the thing on the beach."

"Miss Evans is only receiving a warning," said Mr. Potter, "Since she only broke the law trying to apprehend you."

Smirking, Mina replied, "Like I said, stupidly noble. But I guess we wouldn't be Gryffindors if we didn't have that in common." She stood abruptly and announced, "I'm tired."

Before anybody could say anything more, the girl turned and left and stomped up the stairs and slammed a door.

Family Dinner remained awkward and quiet for several long minutes until Remus grew frustrated and chased after his sister. They sat and listened as he jiggled her seemingly locked doorknob, as he knocked and knocked and begged her to talk to him.

She hadn't said a single word to her brother since they found her, refused to look at or even be alone in a room with him.

Granted, Mina hadn't said much to anyone, and most of her few words had been in the form of snarky quips. But Sirius couldn't help being concerned; it absolutely wasn't like her to ignore Remus, especially not when he was so clearly devastated.

xxXxx

Remus knocked and begged for two hours, and Mina sobbed softly into her pillow for all of them and then another after her brother relented with that final hoarse, heartbreaking, "I'm so sorry, Mina. Please don't hate me."

She could never hate Remus. Not even for a second. Just knowing that he was sad and that she was the cause made Mina so sick that she hadn't been able to eat since seeing her brother's face.

But being found and dragged home didn't change anything. And if she wanted the best for her family and friends, then she needed to make them see how much better off they would be without her.

The whole house had been quiet since Remus left. Hopefully everyone was in bed, sleeping their well-deserved sleep. Mina threw open her window. The balmy night air burned her swollen eyes. She stared up at the nearly full moon and couldn't stop the tears from coming again.

"Sunshine."

The barely audible whisper startled the girl more than she'd ever admit.

Sirius's head appeared, sporting that handsome, effortless grin. The young man finished the rest of his climb and hauled his lean body in through the window.

Mina tried quickly to wipe her tears away, getting furious at herself when she couldn't make them stop. "What do you want?" the girl demanded, doing her best to hide in the shadows.

Sirius straightened to his full height and replied, "Nothing."

His eyes gleamed like two stars, like the only two stars left shining out of the dark vacuum of the universe.

"Bullshit," Mina spat. She backed away, growing progressively more anxious when Sirius didn't make any move to follow. "Get out of here!" the girl snarled, "Go on! I'm not talking to you or anyone else! You can all just leave me alone!"

Sirius remained silent. He stood perfectly still for what seemed like hours as Mina paced through the desire to put her fist through a wall.

"I never should've come back," she growled, "This is your fault! I didn't want to come back, and you just... you had to show up and be all... _you_!"

Offering a truly irritating and distractingly sexy smirk, Sirius teased, "I knew being me would come in handy one of these days."

Mina groaned and continued pacing, doing her best not to give in to the overwhelming urge to wrap herself in Sirius's arms, to feel safe and loved and... and hopeful.

It was too much to resist: Mina was too selfish, and Sirius made her far too weak. She found herself standing in front of him, looking up pleadingly.

With a quiet laugh, Sirius obliged, pulled her against his chest and hugged her tight. "Missed you," he murmured happily.

Mina grunted a reply, trying not to sound too much like she was in complete agreement with his sentiment. Like she would be perfectly content to stay in his embrace for the foreseeable future. She wound her arms around his shockingly skinny frame and squeezed.

There was a flinch and a small noise of pain.

She let go of and looked up at Sirius.

"I'm fine," he insisted bravely, "And it doesn't matter anyways because I'm not going back."

Mina was already tugging his shirt over his head, gasping at the heartbreaking spectrum of red and yellow and green and blue and purple and black that mottled Sirius's pale torso. She didn't need any more light than she had to see that someone had beaten the hell out of her boyfriend. She also didn't need any extra guesses about the identity of the culprit.

The rage flared again, blinding heat behind her eyes that boiled over in more furious, miserable tears.

Sirius pulled her with him to the bed. They lay down side by side and curled into each other, limbs tangling, gazes locking, body heat mingling and rising to an uncomfortable temperature in the already sweltering room.

"Why does it have to be like this?" asked Mina. She sounded pitiful even to her own ears. "Why did we have to be born to cruel parents and this cruel generation? Why couldn't... why does it have to be us?"

For many long moments, Sirius was quiet. Thoughtful. He spun Mina's sandy hair through his fingers and nuzzled her like the big mutt he was. Finally, the young man declared, "I don't know."

Mina hadn't expected a real answer but still couldn't help being disappointed at not receiving one. "I'm no good for anyone, Padfoot," she whispered, "You all think it's just fun and games. That I'm quirky and foul mouthed and entertaining. But I'm not. I'm so filled with hate that there's hardly a shred of energy left for me to feel much else."

"Don't be stupid," scolded Sirius. His voice remained soft, his fingers tracing a tanline over the crest of Mina's shoulder and down across her collarbone. "Disinterest and annoyance are not the same as hatred," the young man explained, "You don't hate nearly as much as you think you do. You seem to feel hatred a lot more strongly than most people, but so what? Most people are so passive and bored and useless that they don't even realize when they should be angry, when they should be screaming and swearing and making themselves impossible to ignore."

Mina thought, not for the first time, that Sirius was far too persuasive.

He grinned that devilish grin of his and continued, "And as for not feeling much else, that's just not true. You love me, right?"

An absurd blush spread across Mina's tear-stained cheeks.

Chuckling, Sirius teased, "Ya, you do. And you also love Remus. James and Peter. Mary. Mr. and Mrs. Potter. There aren't many of us, but that doesn't matter. What matters is you love us the right way. All the way. So much so that you're willing to exile yourself with practically nothing but the clothes on your back just because you think it's what's best for us."

"Remus doesn't yell at anyone," Mina argued, trying to turn away in shame, "You don't orchestrate murders. I did that to you-"

"Sunny," Sirius snapped, forcing her gaze back to his, "Stop it. You didn't do anything. I never tried to kill Snape. I wouldn't. I know you know that, so why bring it up? And as for Remus... he spoke without thinking and said a hurtful, idiotic thing. No one is to blame for that but him, and, trust me, he's blamed himself plenty. We all have flaws, and we're always going to have them. They don't come from you. If anything, you help us keep them in check because we know you're going to be the first to speak up when we're being arseholes. The world would probably be a better place if more people were like that."

Mina scoffed, "Now who's being stupid?"

Sighing heavily, Sirius pressed a kiss to her forehead. He grumbled, "What did you think was going to happen when you left? That'd we'd be sad for a little while and then forget all about you? That we wouldn't spend every second of our lives missing you, worrying about you, hoping and praying that you were safe and that you'd come back to us? How is that better for anyone?"

She could plainly see the agony in his eyes, could hear it in his deep voice. "I don't know," Mina replied.

"Exactly." Sirius could be a smug bastard when he was right, smirking triumphantly and then leaning forward to steal a long, slow kiss.

Mina shuddered in his arms. She wanted to be irate at Sirius for talking her out of the self-destructive spiral, especially when the girl started to feel her anger being replaced by guilt. "I'm sorry," she said.

Sirius grinned, soothing, "I know, love. But I think you can make it up to us by not getting sent to Azkaban."

"I was just kidding about that," Mina insisted, "Well, mostly..."

xxXxx

Although he acknowledged that Mina was a very attractive girl, James had never been the least bit attracted to her. The bespectacled beanpole really only had eyes for Lily Evans. And even if he didn't, James still wouldn't have had any interest in Mina in that way: she was practically his little sister.

So seeing his almost-sister come downstairs wearing a skimpy red string bikini, various... _ahem_, assets swaying in the breeze, was greatly disturbing on many, _many_ levels.

James thought she looked too skinny, thought he could count far too many ribs another other delicate bones poking sharply from her bronzed skin. He thought she wore an expression that was unusually deranged. He really, really wished she would put on some real clothes and stop looking so distressingly close to nude.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake," Mum grumbled, hurriedly smacking both Sirius and Peter in the back of the head in a futile effort to prevent staring and drooling, "Mina, love, please put some clothes on. The aurors will be here any moment to interview you."

Mina grinned wickedly, grabbing a cherry lollipop out of the candy bowl. She gave the sweet an obscene lick, twirling a pigtail around her fingers and sticking out her chest. She replied, "I know. I'll be outside."

Peter fell out of his chair trying to watch her practically naked arse as it disappeared through the doorway.

Sirius wasn't much better, but at least he had the grace to look ashamed when Remus and Mum fixed him with their furious glares.

"That girl," Mum grumbled, "She's got another thing coming if she thinks such a cheap trick will work on my aurors!"

Watching Peter sheepishly pick himself up from the floor and Sirius distractedly let his eyes glaze over with a likely X-rated daydream, James decided that maybe cheap tricks weren't such a bad idea...

xxXxx

"Frankie," Mina beamed, arching her back and stretching her arms high over her head, enjoying the feel of the lush grass beneath her back, "What a nice surprise."

Frank Longbottom sighed heavily, the burly blonde auror greeting, "Hi, Mina."

Mina sat up and held out her hand, making Frank help her up as she teased, "If I'd known they were sending you, I wouldn't have bothered getting my tits out... so where's that partner of yours?"

"Alice is undercover at the moment," he explained, quite clearly upset that he wasn't with her.

"Ooo," laughed Mina, "Interesting. Let me guess... Scotland. In or around Edinburgh."

The young man's expression did not waver.

"Right then," she giggled, in sort of a good mood. She was sure this nonsense would be dealt with quickly, and then Mina could talk to Remus and patch things up and get them started back on the path to normalcy. It was all going to be ok. Sirius had convinced her. He was really, almost worryingly persuasive. "So... what exactly am I accused of this time?"

Frank stoically answered, "Theft, counterfeit, espionage. Dark wizardry. The usual gems."

Mina laughed. "While some of those charges do sound like quite a bit of fun," she declared, "I highly doubt you have proof I engaged in any of them."

"Made sure of that, did you?" Frank accused.

Now determined to get at least a spark of good humor out of the lad, Mina replied, "Nothing ruins a good crime spree quite as thoroughly as a trail of evidence leading directly to the perpetrator. Whoever he or she might be."

Frank stared down at her for several long moments before finally looking over his shoulder to where Mr. Potter and Dumbledore were talking quietly with a grizzled old auror. The other auror nodded almost imperceptibly, and Frank turned back around.

"Punch me in the face," he whispered, "And run into the woods. Don't stop running until you have to."

Mina frowned, utterly confused. "Um..." she drawled, "Excuse me?"

Instead of providing further explanation, Frank growled, "Do it now."

"You are freaking me out," Mina answered. She was starting to get very, very nervous about the whole situation. "And it also sounds like you're setting me up."

Frank's only comment was, "Trust me."

Mina laughed awkwardly, challenging, "For fuck's sake, why?"

Again, Frank provided no further clarification. He repeated, "Do it now."

"No," said Mina. There were very few things she hated more than feeling so helplessly confused. She wasn't about to allow herself to be swept up in such an absurd situation without at least a little information.

A tinge of sadness and panic crept into Frank's eyes. "Please," he begged, "Alice is in danger, and you're the only person who can save her."

Despite the blazing heat of that summer day, Mina felt a nasty chill travel the entire length of her spine. "Why didn't you just say so to begin with?" the girl snapped, slamming her fist into her friend's jaw and sending him toppling backwards like a stunned bear.

She didn't hesitate a second longer before turning and sprinting into the woods.

xxXxx

"This is bullshit," Sirius insisted, glaring at the two aurors seated in the Potter kitchen, "Mina had no reason to run. What'd you do to her, Longbottom?"

Frank adjusted the ice against his bruised face and replied, "She asked what the charges were, and I told her. The sucker-punch that followed strongly suggests Lupin is guilty of those charges. Or maybe she was just upset that waving her tits in my face didn't have the desired effect."

"Watch your mouth, Auror Longbottom," Mrs. Potter snapped, "And that still doesn't make any sense. The charges against Mina were flimsy at best. Even the bits we could prove were only going to earn her a slap on the wrist."

The other auror, the rough-looking fellow, announced, "We arrested Mundungus Fletcher early this morning trying to sell the Veritaserum that was stolen from Hogwarts. He says he got it from Lupin. He says she's been supplying him with stolen potions for years."

"Dung Fletcher?" Remus laughed hysterically, "That's whose word you're going to believe? Dung Fletcher barely graduated! He wouldn't know the truth if _he was carrying vials of it around in his pocket_! My sister may not be the most law-abiding citizen, but she certainly knows better than to give that greedy bottom-feeder Ministry-controlled potions, especially ones that would be so dangerous if they ended up in Death Eater hands!"

Pointing to his impressive bruise, Frank declared, "That's what I thought, and look what it got me."

"We will continue to investigate the matter," said the older auror, "But assaulting law enforcement and fleeing interrogation don't exactly count in her favor."

Mr. Potter got all blustery and red in the face, his white hair even more askew than usual, his lanky limbs gesturing wildly. "Alastor, she's a frightened, traumatized girl," he growled, "There must be something you can do. She can't have left the property, so if we get her to come back in-"

"All due respect, sir," Frank interrupted, "But your personal relationship with Lupin is exactly why we're handling her case and you're not. You pulled a lot of strings getting her out of custody and arranging this little house call, but there won't be any more professional courtesies or special treatment. _We_ will decide what happens from here on. If Lupin wants to act like a criminal, then she's bloody well going to be treated like one."

Shaking head to toe in all out anger, James hissed, "She's your _friend_."

Frank stood, already heading for the door. "She's been nothing but an annoyance since the moment I laid eyes on her," he declared, "And it's about time that spiteful brat learned there are consequences to her actions."

xxXxx

Mina had assumed that Frank's instruction of "don't stop running until you have to" would only take her as far as the property border; that's where the ward should've crackled warningly as the girl approached.

But Mina didn't see any crackle and sprinted forward bravely, encountering no resistance and continuing on.

Someone had deactivated the ward. Interesting...

After another five miles of heavy forest, the girl was really starting to get annoyed, not to mention tired. Her bare feet hurt. She wished she had on a better bra and hoped for something to happen soon.

There was a dull _pop_ as Frank appeared directly in her path.

Mina couldn't stop fast enough to avoid bouncing off his massive chest and falling onto her arse. She glared up at brawny blonde, complaining, "Is this how you treat all the people who do you favors?"

Frank gave her a hand up, sadly murmuring, "Sorry. I've been trying to catch up with you for twenty minutes. You got a lot farther than I thought you would."

"I suppose we can thank James for that," Mina joked, "His Captainzilla routine does result in some superb conditioning." She waited another moment for some kind of reaction; after receiving none, the girl demanded, "So, what happened to Alice?"

Frank didn't answer right away. He carefully inspected their surroundings, erecting several high-strength secrecy charms before finally sighing, "She was kidnapped at the beginning of July."

"Not the best way to spend your summer holiday," Mina quipped. She wasn't consciously trying to be flippant or inappropriate, but she couldn't help herself.

Rolling his eyes, Frank continued, "A few weeks after Hogwarts let out, we arrested Mundungus Fletcher with loads of illegal goods. Potions, ingredients, dark objects, drugs. Pretty much anything anyone could ever want and not be able to find through normal channels. Dung was facing twenty years, and that was before we even started trying to tie him to the crimes his buyers were committing with his merchandise. But since everyone knows that he's just a middleman, Alice and I decided we could use him to bust his clients."

Mina smirked, "And I'm sure Dung went along with that quite happily."

"Of course," said Frank, "He'd push his mother off a cliff if it meant saving his own worthless hide."

Poor, stupid, slimy Dung.

Frank continued, "If we wanted to use Dung, then Alice and I had to keep it a secret that we'd flipped him. So the only people who knew were me, Alice, and the Potters. Together we decided to start by going after a smuggling operation we suspect is being run by Spyridon Mulciber."

"Ari Mulciber's father," Mina muttered, "Well, if that entitled shit stain is half as psychotic as his rapist son-"

"Unfortunately," Frank interrupted, "He's far more intelligent than his son is. The man is suspected in a list of crimes as long as my arm, but no one has ever been able to make a single charge stick. He's very, very careful who he does business with, and he's never personally present at any of the transactions. But we caught a break. Dung was approached by someone claiming interest in buying a large quantity of marijuana. Whatever Dung'd been selling for the past few months because it was reportedly the best."

Mina frowned, "What's a Death Eater want with weed?"

Frank declared, "I know it seems unrelated, but all our intel pointed to Mulciber's operation. He's not quite as hardcore as most of the Dark Lord's followers, and he does have some quite diverse business interests. Basically anything he can make money off, drugs, potions, prostitution, protection. That's one of the reasons we chose to go after him. Since he's not a flat-out zealot, we thought we could get him to talk fairly easily if we gathered serious enough charges. Anyways, we had Dung set it up, but the buyer said he wanted to meet the source. He was quite adamant about dealing direct. Alice stepped up to play the part, and we set her up in Scotland with a fake identity and a good glamour. It should've gone fine, and we should've been able to trace the merchandise back to Mulciber or at least someone higher up in his operation."

"But?"

"But Alice vanished from the safe house," Frank grumbled, still quite obviously upset about his partner's predicament, "Before she even had a chance to assume the fake identity. And that can only mean that someone leaked the information. The only possible leak was the Potters' office."

"They would never-"

"Of course not. But someone must've gained access. And that means the entire department is compromised." Frank gave a long, stricken sigh, "Except the man I brought with me today. Alastor Moody. Ever since he nearly died being literally stabbed in the back by his old partner, Moody has been the most secretive, paranoid son of a bitch in the entire Ministry. I told him the situation, and he's been helping me. We hushed up Alice's disappearance and tracked down Dung again. Someone had beaten the hell out of him for nearly setting them up to do a deal with an auror. Dung managed to stay alive by convincing the attacker that he didn't know she was an auror, that he only knew her from some bar and that he paid her to stand in for the real source because the real source was unavailable."

Chuckling bitterly, Mina said, "Sounds like something that idiot would do."

Frank nodded, finally admitting, "Ya, well, then he told them that the real source was you."

Mina blinked at the man in disbelief. "That fucking moron," she growled, "Brainless, spineless worm!"

"No, it's perfect," Frank declared, "You're on record speaking out against the Ministry. You were questioned in two attacks. You have a history of disciplinary problems, and now you're facing theft, counterfeit, espionage, and dark wizardry charges. Not to mention sale and possession of illegal goods and assault on law enforcement. Now you're a fugitive. You couldn't be a more convincing criminal."

"Hoo-ray," Mina sarcastically sing-songed.

Looking very close to a childish pout, Frank snapped, "Alice is still alive. Mulciber is holding her as leverage against me, to force me to pass on classified documents and information. I've avoided giving them anything too damaging so far, but I can't play along much longer. I can't have anyone die because I'm being blackmailed. Alice wouldn't want that, no matter what the cost. But I can't just abandon her, either. I need you to set up the meet and find out where she is. That's all. Once I know where she is, I can get her out. Will you help me?"

"I already said I would," complained Mina. She offered her friend a weak smirk, inquiring, "I don't suppose you grabbed any of my things from the house? I can't very well go to my first grownup drug deal in a bikini."

Frank smiled, relieved, and produced the girl's backpack. "Clothes, cash, wand, a bit of floo powder," he explained, "I'll try to keep the underage magic people busy with other cases, but do your best not to draw attention to yourself."

Mina laughed. "You act like I've never fled from justice before."

xxXxx

Mr. and Mrs. Potter had retreated to their office to sort through the mess, and the boys were absolutely, positively _not_ supposed to go chasing after Mina.

Right.

After the girl's mug shot appeared on the front page of _the Prophet_—her mocking, feral smile and the two blurs where she was obviously flipping off the camera—there was no way the Marauders were going to stay home with their thumbs up their arses.

Talking to Dung was Remus's idea.

"We know Snape stole the Veritaserum," he argued, stomping along purposefully through a crime-ridden slum not too far from Diagon Alley, "If Dung is saying that Mina did it, then he must have a reason."

Sirius nodded in agreement. He said, "Dung is always working an angle. I'm sure we won't have too difficult a time figuring out what it is."

"He's not sitting in Azkaban right now," growled Remus, "So selling someone out was at least worth his freedom. That's obvious enough. I just don't understand why he chose to blame Mina."

James checked the scrap of paper with the address they'd finally acquired after an entire morning of inquiries. He looked up at a condemned brick building and declared, "This is the place."

Remus led the charge inside, easily locating Dung's apartment and pounding nearly hard enough to put his fist through the thick wood.

The full moon was that night, due to rise in mere hours. Remus should've been resting, preparing himself mentally and physically to transform in the cage in the basement of his grandmother's empty mansion. Instead, the young man had channeled his considerable pain and rage into finding his sister.

"W-Who's there?" a trembling voice called from the other side of the door.

"Open up, Dung!" Remus shrieked, "I want to talk to you!"

There was a brief silence, then the muted sound of a window opening.

Remus kicked the door in and grabbed the pudgy, pockmarked teen before he could flee onto the fire escape.

With help from Sirius and James, Remus wrestled Dung into a flimsy chair and held him there. That's when they saw they bruises and the blood.

"Merlin's sake," the pitiful young man pleaded, one eyelid swollen shut and the other very close, "Why can't you people just leave me alone? I gave her everything she wanted!"

"Mina?" demanded Remus, "She was here? She did this to you? What did she want? What did you give her?"

Dung coughed, hissing in pain. Probably broken ribs. "I set her up with a weed buyer," he explained, "She said she needed cash to get out of town. She said I owed her for giving her name to the aurors. But I swear I didn't-"

"SHUT UP!" Remus screamed in his face.

Sirius could see the veins bulging wildly beneath his friend's skin. He decided that Remus might need to be reigned in soon. After he got the information, of course.

Determined to be the calmer head, James quietly asked, "Who is she meeting and where?"

"There's a bar," Dung hurriedly confessed, "It's called _Waldo's_. You just walk eight blocks south and turn into the alley between the pawnshop and the fish-and-chips stand. She's meeting a bloke named Travers." He panted and squirmed, looking about two seconds from tears. "Please. That's all I know."

Giving Dung a vicious shake, Remus snarled, "Why'd you tell the aurors that Mina sold you Veritaserum?"

"I _didn't_!" the plump ginger insisted, "I don't even deal in that stuff! The last thing I need is someone using it on me! Besides, I haven't given the aurors anything in weeks! Longbottom brought me in early this morning, but all he did was stick me in an interrogation room for a few hours and then let me go! He didn't even question me!"

Sirius frowned, quite confused by the version of events. He wondered, "Why would Frank do that?"

Dung fidgeted and whined, "I don't _know_! But it's looking more and more like a setup to get your psycho bitch girlfriend on my arse-"

Even with both Sirius and James holding Dung in the chair, the force of Remus's brutal punch nearly knocked the scruffy degenerate onto the floor. "DON'T YOU FUCKING CALL HER THAT!" Remus shrieked. He swayed dizzily, almost overcome by the burst of energy, but somehow the werewolf managed to remain on his feet.

"Alright," James crossly announced, "That's enough. Moony, you need... your, uh, treatment. We'll take you, and then we'll go back out to look for her."

Stubbornly shaking his head even as his fury ebbed to exhausted shivers, Remus answered, "I'm fine!"

James sighed, "You won't be in about two hours, and I'd rather not cut it any closer than we already have. Remember how... contagious you get?"

Well, with Dung in the room, James couldn't very well remind Remus how _werewolfy_ he gets. But at least it got the job done: Remus sagged, seeming close to fainting.

Sirius half-carried him as they walked out of the grimy tenement.

xxXxx

Mina hadn't bothered to clean Dung's blood off her knuckles; she actually thought it might lend her a bit of criminal credibility. However, as the time passed and the blood got dry and flaky and itchy, the girl began to rethink that particular decision.

But there wasn't anything she could do about it besides kick her feet up and chain-smoke in the back booth of the pub called _Waldo's_ as she waited for Travers to appear. A rather hefty bribe to the rather witless bartender had bought assurances that the man would be in that very evening, that Mina would get a signal as soon as he appeared.

She just had to be patient. It was difficult, but that might be good as well. Mina was supposed to be an impulsive fugitive, after all; a little impatience was perfectly warranted and could only help her ruse.

The bartender came when her beer was empty to swap out a fresh bottle and to shake his head. Travers had not arrived.

Two beers and four cigarettes later, he still hadn't. Mina was growing progressively more irritated, strongly considering a return visit to Dung. But she felt a little bad about beating him up the first time. It wasn't really her plan. The scrawny miscreant had made the mistake of trying to refuse Mina's perfectly reasonable request for information. He tried to lie and deny and play dumb. And, well, he needed to be shown that she wasn't in the mood to be screwed with.

The next time the bartender passed by the table, he brought Mina a ridiculous pink concoction complete with a cherry and a tiny paper umbrella.

She glared up at the man, silently warning him what a huge mistake he'd just made.

"Um," muttered the terrified dullard, "The, uh, bloke at the bar sent this over. And he'd like to know if you'd join him."

Mina raised an eyebrow, and the bartender nodded. She took that to mean Travers had arrived. She hadn't seen anyone come in, but nonetheless, there he was.

He was a tall man but lean. Probably anywhere from mid-twenties to late-thirties. Clean-shaven and well-dressed in a meticulously pressed black suit. His dark brown hair barely skimmed his shoulders, and his wide white smile seemed awfully close to genuine.

Without the fruity pink drink, Mina marched up to him and demanded, "Travers?"

"_Oui, mademoiselle_," he replied, offering a well-manicured hand to go with his thick, snobbish French accent, "And you are?"

"Someone who doesn't like idiots," said Mina, "Or people who act like them. You know exactly who I am."

Smirking tightly, the Frenchman sighed, "But of course. You will forgive me my little courtesies. My dear _maman _did her best to raise a gentleman." He gave a swift half bow. "Claude Travers. Pleased to make your acquaintance, _Mademoiselle_ Lupin."

Mina snorted. "Ya, sure, _Clod_. I hear you're interested in my Herbology project."

"Oh?" he chuckled, "Am I? Whatever gave you such an idea?"

Huffing and growing increasingly more annoyed, Mina explained, "Dung mentioned it when I visited him earlier today. You know, to catch up." She cracked her knuckles and distinctly saw Travers notice the dried blood.

Travers laughed again. "Men like _Monsieur_ Fletcher can be such an asset at times," he mused, "And such a nuisance at others. But at least they can always be trusted to blindly serve their own interests."

"You a fortune cookie or a businessman?" Mina snapped, "Because I have Frank fucking Longbottom all over my arse, and I'd like to scrape together enough cash to leave the country before he tracks me down. That tubby bitch has wanted me locked up since I was eleven. No way am I giving him the satisfaction."

Travers's thin-lipped smile turned into a thoughtful smirk. "We may be able to come to an arrangement," the Frenchman murmured silkily, "If you will accompany me to a more private setting." He offered his hand again.

Mina shrugged and accepted it.

The moment before Travers disapparated them both away, she thought she heard Sirius call her name.

xxXxx

"That's it," James said, stunned, "We're too late."

The boys paused for a moment and stared longingly at the grimy patch of barroom that only seconds earlier had contained their friend.

Sirius didn't believe for a second that Mina was really trying to arrange a drug deal or to flee the country; he also didn't believe she would be stupid enough to go off alone with a potentially dangerous criminal, at least not without a better motive. Without a plan.

Shaking his head, Sirius declared, "Nothing about this makes any sense. She knows she's not guilty of the Veritaserum theft, so she wouldn't hit Frank or run because of it. She'd stay and prove herself innocent. Something else is going on. Something weird."

Peter shrugged and sheepishly argued, "Well, it's not going to matter if she keeps doing things that make her _look_ guilty."

The bartender was no help, blinking at them in confusion, seeming unable to remember his own name, let alone information about any of his patrons. James said it looked like a memory curse, probably something put in place by the Travers fellow to wipe the bartender's mind after their every encounter.

Emerging into the humid night only to find the full moon glowing down at them made the situation feel worse.

After a brief moment of whirling thoughts, Sirius asked, "Prongs? Do you think you could find Longbottom? Or maybe get him to meet us? We have to talk him out of this."

"Doubt it," James said with a shrug, "He's probably out tracking Sunny."

Sirius frowned. "Ya..." he murmured, "So, unless we're a lot smarter and better at his job than he is, Frank should be here. He should've been here hours ago. Or even at Dung's. He should've known that's where she'd go, and he had a head-start on us."

Hazel eyes narrowed in thought behind his thick specs, James agreed, "You're right. But... then what does it mean that he didn't already catch her?"

"It could mean a lot of things," Peter squeaked. He fidgeted nervously with his pockets, suggesting, "I guess the most obvious is that he's not really trying to catch her."

Of course. "But that makes no sense," insisted Sirius, kicking a rubbish bin down the alley, "Why would he go through the trouble of setting her up for a crime and not arrest her for it?"

They were all quiet for a few moments, and then James got all wide eyed. He leaned in close and whispered, "Maybe he did track her. Maybe he's just been watching. Y'know, seeing where she went and who she met with."

"He couldn't have followed after they apparated," said Sirius, "So... he might still be nearby..."

Peter gave a truly unmanly shriek as a gnarled hand closed around his shoulder.

James and Sirius retreated a few steps, falling into defensive stances as they glared at the intruder.

Sirius recognized the gruff auror as the one from the Potter house that morning. Sirius thought he remembered the man's name as being very similar to Moony. Mooly, Mooby, Moogy. Moody. Something like that. The auror had an old face and a young body, broad and strong. But with a slight, almost unnoticeable limp.

Peter seemed unable to squirm out of the bruising grasp.

"You lads shouldn't be here," Moody growled.

Gritting his teeth, Sirius snapped, "Bloody right. I should be at home with my girlfriend, but you sods turned her into felon."

Moody scowled. He spun around, dragging Peter with him and disappeared into an open doorway that hadn't been there the moment before.

There was no hesitation as the other boys followed; they only jumped a bit when the door slammed shut behind them.

The dark room turned to a dim room. Well, not a room as much as a large closet. There was a single chair facing the corner. The two walls that made the corner were transparent.

Not from the outside. Sirius really thought he would've noticed something like a see-through building. But from inside the hidden room, the occupant of that single chair could easily watch the activity in the alley and also in the bar.

"What the hell is this?" demanded James.

"A stakeout that sudden turned into babysitting duty," Moody snarled. He plopped down into the chair, sticking one leg out straight and rubbing the thigh. "Just sit tight."

Bristling, Sirius declared, "Not without some bloody answers! What are you people doing to Mina?"

Moody gave a humorless chuckle. "Nothing you need to concern yourselves with," he claimed, "She's perfectly safe. And you are as well, as long as you sit your arses down and quit with the bloody questions."

Frank came crashing suddenly through the door. Actually, not the same door the Marauders came through; that door had vanished, and Frank's door had appeared on the adjacent wall.

Excitedly waving a small bit of parchment, the burly blonde auror crowed, "The trace wasn't complete, but we got a general area-" He stopped and blinked at the Marauders, turning to Moody and demanding, "What the bloody hell are they doing here?"

Moody grunted and went on stretching his leg. "I brought them in," he said, "Thought it was better than leaving them outside to loudly discuss your secret plan."

"So I was right," James chirped smugly, "You set Mina up so that you could follow her?"

Frank's expression became the oddest mixture of annoyance and regret. "I didn't _set her up_," the young man insisted, "I just... arranged a little underworld credibility. Not that she needed much more."

"She is going to feed you your own bollocks, mate," Sirius laughed.

"No, she won't," Frank said, rolling his eyes, "She was perfectly willing to help me out with this-"

"She's _in on it_?!" gasped Peter.

Red-faced, Frank blustered, "Just shut up! All of you! We have important work to do, and the last thing we need is a set of nosy troublemakers getting in our way!" He turned to Moody. "Let's move out. What do you want to do with them?"

Moody stood with a groan, various joints creaking and cracking. He calmly regarded each of the boys for a moment.

The look gave Sirius chills, like the man could see into his soul.

"Leave 'em," the old auror declared, already turning and striding toward yet another magically appearing exit.

A moment later, both Moody and Frank were gone. So were all the doors.

xxXxx

"I would prefer if you didn't smoke in here," Travers murmured, seating himself gracefully behind a wide oak desk, "The smell takes weeks to come out of the rugs and the curtains."

Mina crossed the lavish room in two strides, touching the tip of her wand to the tip of her cigarette. She leaned across the desk and blew cherry-scented smoke in her host's smug frog face. "I can also do orange or spearmint," the girl said, flopping backwards into a plush brown leather chair, "If you _prefer_."

Sighing, Travers replied, "No, that's quite alright. Shall we discuss business?"

"The price you agreed on with Dung is way too low," Mina announced, peering around at the various small statues and tasteful landscapes throughout the cushy office, "My stuff is the best, and you can expect pay for it like it is."

Travers chuckled, "I believe the price to be quite reasonable, especially for a bulk wholesale transaction."

"I have exactly zero interest in your beliefs," said Mina, "I want another fifteen percent."

The Frenchman's well-groomed eyebrows performed a small twitch of surprise. "I couldn't possibly give you more than an additional five," Travers responded, "My employer hasn't authorized-"

"Oh, fuck's sake," groaned Mina, tossing her head back theatrically, "I'm not playing this game, and I'm not interested in negotiating. I told you what I want. If you can't give it to me, then fetch the bloke who can. Otherwise this has been a complete waste of time." She stood abruptly. "And on that note, where's the loo? I drank a _lot_ of beer waiting for you to show up, and if you think smoke is hard to get out of rugs-"

Travers interrupted with a flustered throat clear, gesturing to a nearby door. "Down the hall to the left," he muttered, "I will contact my employer while you're gone."

Smirking meanly, Mina set off and called over her shoulder, "I'll be sure not to rush then."

Mina was always amazed at how much she accomplished by threatening to pee on things. Free reign of a Death Eater secret hideout should not have been so easy to attain.

She strolled casually down the short corridor, bringing her Animagus senses out and doing her best to detect a scent or a sound, anything to indicate if Alice was being held nearby.

She heard nothing but the low hum of Travers's voice behind her and the steady dribble of a far-off fountain. Having only met the woman once, Mina couldn't remember if Alice had a particular smell. Mina mused that she probably should've asked Frank for an article of the woman's clothing to use for tracking, but that would've raised all kinds of inconvenient questions.

Mina smelled musty old house smells, damp wood and dander and mildew and mothballs. Cherries and smoke (herself). Silver polish...

She took another deep inhale and detected a slight, surprising note of... pencil shavings? No self-respecting pure-blood Death Eater lackey should be using a pencil rather than a quill... was Alice fond of pencils?

Down the hallway, Mina found the most obvious of the doors to the left and decided to disregard it; following the scent of pencil shavings, she opened a door to the right instead and found a large library on the other side.

Before the girl could search, a grayish-green house-elf wearing a washcloth like a toga appeared. The creature swept into a low bow and asked, "Is Miss lost? Can Wob help Miss find her way?"

"I was looking for the toilet," Mina said, sending up a silent prayer for yet another stroke of luck.

House-elves were a wealth of information and always overeager to please.

Bowing and scraping along, Wob led Mina back to the other door. "Will there be anything else, Miss?"

Mina laughed, "A snack would be awesome. Doesn't have to be fancy. Just a slight step up from whatever you feed the prisoners."

Wob's huge eyes got even huger.

_Jackpot_.

"Jeez," said Mina, "I was only kidding. But now that I know Travers likes taking prisoners, maybe I'll just have to knock a few percents off my price." She patted the quivering house-elf's head and soothed, "Don't worry, Wob. You didn't do anything wrong. Now about that snack..."

xxXxx

James wasn't entirely sure, but he suspected that Sirius was coming dangerously close to a complete and utter meltdown.

The long-haired teen had been pacing for nearly an hour, ever since the transparent walls had turned... uh... parent... not see-through again. Sirius must've made at least a few hundred laps of the small room in just that short time. His breathing was shallow and quick, his movements restless and jerky. The most worrisome development, however, was that he'd begun muttering to himself like a crazy person.

"Padfoot," Peter grumbled, sprawled in the corner, "Would you mind sitting still for awhile? You're making me dizzy."

Sirius didn't stop, wide-eyed and sweating as he growled, "Bugger off."

Sighing, James soothed, "You're not going to do anyone any good exhausting yourself with worry. Sunny will be fine."

"I know," Sirius snapped. He swallowed hard several times, tugging at his collar like one might a noose. "I just... I need to get out of here."

Peter stretched and agreed, "Ya, we'd all really like that, but we're stuck until the aurors come back for us."

There was a low whining, whimpering sort of noise.

James took a stupidly long time to realize that it was coming from Sirius. "Mate," James said, climbing to his feet and trying unsuccessfully to stand in his friend's path, "Calm down. She's _fine_."

"I KNOW!" Sirius shrieked. He picked up James's chair and began beating at the walls with it, hollering, "I WANT OUT! LET ME OUT! RIGHT BLOODY NOW!"

After exchanging a look of confusion and concern with Peter, James pleaded, "Padfoot. Please. I know this sucks, but nothing bad is going to happen to Sunny. She can take care of herself, and Longbottom might be acting like a bit of a prick, but he has her back."

The chair, having been quickly eroded into splinters by the force of Sirius's blows, fell from his clenched fists. "I KNOW SHE'S FINE!" the young man shouted, turning his fists against the wall, "STOP SAYING THAT AND HELP ME GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE WE RUN OUT OF AIR!"

James stared, unsure how to interpret the comment.

Within seconds, Sirius's knuckles were split and bloody, and James didn't even have to think before he found himself rushing forward. He tackled Sirius to the ground and tried to prevent the hysterical teen from inflicting anymore injuries on his own body.

"Padfoot," James shouted, "Padfoot! Stop! You have to stop!" They wrestled on the floor for a few moments as James cursed and Sirius wailed and Peter cowered in the corner.

Somehow, maybe because Sirius was long past rational thought and probably hyperventilating, James managed to pin his almost-brother and hold him mostly immobile.

The look in Sirius's enormous gray eyes was far off; he barely even blinked when the sweat and blood began dripping into them.

James held Sirius down for what felt like a lifetime.

Peter later confirmed that it was mere moments.

Then Sirius's eyes rolled back in his head, his entire body going limp as he passed out cold.

As he did his best to maneuver the unresisting form into a more comfortable position, James muttered, "Frank better get his arse back here soon..."

xxXxx

After nearly an hour of arguing back and forth, they shook on the hard-won ten-percent price increase.

Mina had barely dropped Travers's cold, clammy hand when the door flew off its hinges and Frank Longbottom came barreling inside.

At first, Mina was tentatively relieved; she was really sick of dealing with Travers, and the sooner he was arrested, the sooner Frank could find Alice and put an end to the whole charade.

But instead of going after the startled Frenchman, Frank shot off his first volley of stunners straight at Mina.

"Mina Lupin," Frank bellowed, "You are under arrest for trafficking in illegal goods assaulting law enforcement, and evading arrest. Surrender yourself willingly, or we will use force to subdue you."

"FUCK YOU, FRANKIE!" the girl shouted, crouching behind her chair and doing her best to return fire, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME, YOU FAT BITCH!"

Apparently the ruse was not yet over.

A lamp exploded behind her, showering Mina with hot glass.

She crawled through the razor-sharp mess and beneath Travers's desk, finding her host hiding on the other side of it.

He did not look pleased. "You led them here!" accused Travers, "You stupid girl!"

"Eat a dick, Clod!" Mina replied furiously, "If they were tracking anyone, it was you! You're the one who apparated us to this tacky hell-hole! Fuck! This is what I get for trusting Dung!"

Frank's voice was closer the next time the auror chose to comment. "This is your last warning," he declared, "Surrender yourself willingly, or we will use force to subdue you!"

Travers swore a blue-streak, all in French. Then he peeled up the rug he'd been so concerned about and opened a hatch in the floor.

Mina smirked. "Right on."

But Travers pulled his wand on her. "They are after you!" he snarled, "So don't follow me!" Still holding his wand on Mina, he shimmied down the trapdoor and almost managed to slam it shut.

Mina stuck her hand in at the last moment. From the crunching sound and fiery pain that followed, the girl thought the action earned her a few broken bones, but at least it also earned her an escape.

The charges might've been fake, but that didn't mean Mina was going to make it easy for Frank to catch her, especially if he wanted to stun her for show. Besides, the longer she ran through the house's hidden passages, the more chance they had of finding Alice.

After giving Travers a few seconds head start, Mina reopened the trapdoor and dropped through it. She didn't fall very far, finding herself in a dark, narrow tunnel with a low ceiling. The air was hot and damp and stale. She could hear Travers's footsteps ahead of her and Frank's shouts above.

The girl took off running, crouched nearly in half. It would've been so much easier to run as a wolf, but then she'd have to run on her broken hand. She resolved to kick Travers in the bollocks when she caught up with him.

A streak of light came shooting out of the darkness. The intense shade of red was unmistakable and still colored many of Mina's nightmares: the Cruciatus Curse.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Mina darted to the side, flattening her body against the wall and holding her breath as the spell passed.

Unfortunately, just as it was directly in front of her, a thin blue lightning bolt, likely a stunner courtesy of Frank, came from the other end of the hall and collided directly with the vivid red.

For a heartbeat, the colorful lights tangled and sizzled and pulsed menacingly.

Then they erupted into a burning flash of orange.

_But red and blue make purple_, Mina mentally protested in the split second before her world went black.

xxxxxxxxxx

I can't sleep, so this is going up early. Anyways... two updates in less than a month? Ya, that deserves some reviews ;)


	25. Dozy Alice and the Seven Aurors

Part 25 – Dozy Alice and the Seven Aurors

Until Tuesday, August 10th, 1976, the phone in the Evans house had never rung between the hours of 10 PM and 9 AM.

Ever the light sleeper, Lily heard the first warbling chime and sat straight up in bed. Her muzzy brain needed an extra moment to decipher what the noise was and where it was coming from. Her clumsy feet took her out of her room and down the stairs and into the kitchen.

Her blurry eyes could barely see that the clock above the stove read 3:12.

"Hello?" the redhead yawned, hoping that she'd answered before the early-morning caller could wake the rest of her family. No sense in all of them losing sleep.

"_HELLO? IS THIS MISS LILY EVANS?_"

In order to prevent further hearing loss, the teen held the receiver away from her ear. "Um, yes, this is Lily," she murmured, "There's no need to shout."

"_Oh, I'm so sorry, dear_," said the caller, at a much more reasonable decibel level, "_I've never used one of these blasted things before_."

Without the shouting, it was much easier to tell that the caller was female.

"That's quite alright," Lily replied, "Who's calling, please?"

"_This is Mrs. Potter, James's mother-_"

And clearly the whole conversation was a bad dream...

"-_I don't think we were properly introduced, but I was there in Jamaica. Anyways, I was just wondering if you'd seen James at all in the last day, or if you know where he and the other boys might be._"

Lily frowned, opening her mouth to answer.

"_They were supposed to be at home all day_," Mrs. Potter babbled on worriedly, "_But my husband and I got back late from work, and they weren't there. I'm just afraid they've gotten themselves into trouble chasing after poor Mina. I don't know if you heard, but we've had some difficulties with her as well._"

Like Lupin's snarl plastered all over the front page of _the Prophet_ had been easy to miss.

"Yes, ma'am-"

"_I'm sure we can clear all that up though, as soon as she stops being so stubborn and comes home. Hopefully before she or the boys make a bigger mess of things. They're really such lovely children. And they all have such good hearts._"

Lily almost scoffed right into the phone. Instead, she repeated, "Yes, ma'am." She waited a moment to see if Mrs. Potter would cut her off again. When no such interruption came, Lily added, "I'm sorry, but I haven't seen or heard from any of them. I'll be sure to let you know if I do. You might try contacting Mary MacDonald."

There was a quiet, frustrated sigh. "_Thank you, dear,_" said Mrs. Potter, "_I really appreciate it. Goodbye._"

After hanging up, Lily made herself a cup of tea and sat with it at the table, sipping and thinking. She had several disturbing thoughts all in a row:

James Potter's mother had her phone number, which meant that James Potter probably had it to begin with or would have it soon.

James Potter's mother had called Lily, which mean that James Potter's mother knew who Lily was, which meant that James Potter had probably talked about Lily with his mother. Hopefully just about the redhead's role in the Jamaica incident, but somehow Lily didn't think that was likely.

James Potter's mother seemed like a sweet lady and thought the Marauders (or as Lily liked to sometimes refer to them, the Miscreants) were lovely children with good hearts, which either meant that James Potter's mother was delusional or that Lily was somehow mistaken in regards to her opinion of the troublesome gang.

Lily huffed. The middle of the night was not a good time to have disturbing thoughts. Or to receive loud phone calls full of bad news. Or to begin worrying about people you didn't even really like.

She got up and went in search of her owl, figuring that a quick note of inquiry to Mary wouldn't hurt...

xxXxx

Sirius woke but refused to open his eyes. As long as his eyes remained firmly closed, the young man could go on pretending that he was lying in a wide open meadow, surrounded by fresh air and sunshine...

Not locked in a doorless, windowless, escapeless, rapidly shrinking room with a rapidly diminishing oxygen supply...

Damnit.

"Padfoot?" he heard James say as hands pressed firmly on his shoulders, "Take a deep breath. You're fine. We're all fine."

Though his mouth felt dry and his tongue was difficult to peel away from the roof of it, Sirius managed to growl, "Get the fuck out of my meadow."

After a long, confused silence, James chuckled, "Lucky for you Sunny isn't awake to hear you talking about Meadowes like that."

Sirius started to scold his friend for being an annoying arsehole and intentionally misunderstanding a perfectly reasonable request to vacate the soothing mindscape, but then the first part of James's statement clicked. Sirius sat up and opened his eyes and peered blearily at his new surroundings.

It looked like a hospital room. But also kind of like a jail cell. Like someone had dragged a bunch of hospital beds and equipment inside a cramped cinder-block jail cell. James was there, seated next to Sirius. Peter was asleep in a chair, his neck bent at an uncomfortable angle and his lap occupied by a precariously balanced plate of half-eaten sausages.

Frank was there, too. (In the cell, not in Pete's lap.) He was sitting on the edge of the bed to the left of Sirius's, his broad back visible as he held the hand of and stared down at the bed's sleeping occupant.

Sirius turned his head to the right and saw yet another bed. And he finally found Mina.

At least he assumed it was her from the familiar hair color. She was tucked into an oversized red flannel button-up. Most of her face and neck and arms were covered in stark white bandages.

"Godric! What-"

"It's alright," James declared, "She's going to be fine. They're just superficial burns. There was... uh... She was standing close to two spells that collided."

"Longbottom!" yelped Sirius, standing too fast and nearly earning an entirely unmanly faint for his trouble, "You _fucking prick_! What the bloody hell are you playing at-"

"SHHH!" For possibly the first time ever, Frank Longbottom struck fear into the hearts of the Marauders with just one warning glare. "Shut your damn mouth, Black," the burly blonde ordered, "Or I'll shut it for you."

That was just unnerving. Since when had Frank turned from the dopey prefect they loved to annoy into the big scary auror they actually had to listen to for fear of grievous bodily harm?

Bravely but at a much more reasonable volume, Sirius demanded, "What. Happened."

"Potter already said," Frank replied, with an exasperated sigh, "Two spells collided about two inches from Lupin. She got a bit fried, but nothing severe. Now sit down before you fall down, and keep the chatter to a minimum. I'll arrest you for real if you wake Alice."

So that's who was in the third bed. Had she also gotten "a bit fried" by the clash of spellfire?

But that question was still pretty far down on Sirius's hastily lengthening list. For his next query, the lad chose, "Where are we?"

"An abandoned muggle police station outside the city," explained Frank, "We use it as a safe house sometimes. Especially if we have prisoners with us. The cells come in handy."

"And we're in one because..."

Once again staring at his sleeping partner, Frank added, "Because this is where the medical supplies were being stored, and I decided that making sure no one died was more important than rearranging furniture."

Alright. Perfectly reasonable.

"And because we're using the other cell for an interrogation."

Slightly more worrisome.

Sirius decided not to ask for anymore clarification on that particular point. At least until his brain stopped trying to claw its way out of his skull. "Why are we here?" the lad continued, "Shouldn't we be in the hospital?"

"This is just as good as a hospital," Frank declared, "And it has the added benefit of privacy. Are you going to keep asking questions until I hex you?"

James snickered. "Most likely."

Bristling, Sirius snapped, "Well excuse me for being a bit confused! It's not every day I wake up in a situation like this!"

"I don't feel like explaining right now," Frank sighed gloomily, "So if you'll be patient and wait until later, it would really make things a lot easier."

Again. Perfectly reasonable.

"And if you don't, I swear to Merlin I'm going to knock you back out, and I will not be gentle about it."

Worrisome.

Sirius was sensing a pattern in Frank's logic.

"Don't threaten the poor lad, Longbottom," chimed a new voice. A gorilla-chested man with wavy hair the color of a severe rust stain appeared in the cell's open door. The stocky bloke was youngish. Mid-twenties, maybe. He grinned, his rugged freckled face folding into whimsical dimples as he added, "Haven't you put him through enough?"

Growing a bit pink in the cheeks, Frank responded, "Piss off, Prewett."

The man, Prewett apparently, shook his vivid, longish hair out of his eyes and laughed. He deftly flipped a cigarette into the air and caught it in his mouth, searching the well-worn pockets of his tattered jeans for a few moments before finally huffing and calling over his massive shoulder, "Oi! Fabe! You got my fucking lighter again?"

"It's my fucking lighter. You don't have a fucking lighter."

For a moment, Sirius thought that this was some sort of ventriloquism act, that Prewett was throwing his voice because it certainly sounded like he'd just answered himself from outside the room.

But there was definitely another person beyond the view of empty hallway available between the bars; someone hurled the disputed lighter hard at the side of Prewett's head.

"OW!" he cried, rubbing his ear as he stooped to retrieve the object, "You rancid goose anus! That hurt!"

"I'd better get it back this time, you barnacled bell-end!"

"Be quiet!" snarled Frank, "You're going to wake Alice!"

Grumbling, finally getting his cigarette lit and tucking the pilfered lighter away in his hip pocket, Prewett replied, "Good. She's a lot more entertaining than you are. Bloody Tightbottom."

Sirius and James laughed.

Frank growled.

Prewett blew smoke in his face, taking a few more steps into the room, leaning over Alice and then Mina, seemingly checking their vital signs. Satisfied with the findings, Prewett turned his dark gaze onto Sirius. "Alright, mate?" the redhead inquired, one crimson gash of an eyebrow cocked roguishly.

Nodding, unsure what explanation James had given for the unconsciousness, Sirius answered simply, "I'm fine. How's Mina?"

"She'll live," Prewett said with a shrug, "Probably won't be happy for a while, but from what I've heard about her, that's not unusual." He laughed, offering his hand. "Where are my manners? Gideon Prewett. Good to meet you."

Sirius accepted the handshake, which turned into a bruising grip and a determined attempt to rip his arm out of its socket. "Sirius Black," he grunted.

There was a short, awkward silence.

Thankfully, because otherwise they might've missed Mina's quiet whimper.

Beside the girl in an instant, Sirius gently picked up one of her gauze-covered hands and soothed, "It's ok, Sunshine. I'm right here."

"Pads," she murmured, so soft and weak, "Can't see."

"There are some bandages over your face," explained Sirius, "Some spell damage, I guess. But everyone says it's not severe. You should be back to normal soon."

She whimpered again, apparently struggling to lift her free arm toward her head.

Gideon held her down, kindly chiding, "Healer Prewett says those need to stay those on a bit longer, love. We want your pretty face just as pretty as it was before."

"Suck my cock," Mina grumbled wearily, trying and failing to squirm out of the grip even though doing so was obviously painful and impossible.

Sirius couldn't help laughing in absolute relief.

xxXxx

"No one even knows where to start looking," Remus moped, staring numbly into his tea, "They were supposed to go to this bar after they dropped me off, but the bartender says he never saw them or Mina. It's nearly two days since they've been heard from at all."

Lily put her hand over one of his. "I'm so sorry, Remus," she said, "I'm sure they'll turn up soon." What else was she supposed to say? Your sister and friends are lunatics, and there's no telling what kind of foolish mischief they landed in while you were busy transforming into a bloodthirsty beast?

Not exactly comforting.

But then again, Remus didn't seem to genuinely want comfort. Lily was starting to realize that, the lad was just as much of a secret masochist as his twin was: all he wanted was to suffer and blame himself and wallow in pity. Because he thought he deserved it.

"I feel useless," the sandy-haired werewolf complained, "I should be with them."

"You did everything you were supposed to," soothed Lily, "Now you just have to trust that they can take care of themselves."

Skeletal face pallid and scratched, wide amber eyes full of sorrow, Remus whispered, "But what if they can't?"

The bell on the door of the small café chimed cheerfully, heralding Mary's arrival. The tall girl spotted them in an instant and strode to their deserted corner. "Hi," she greeted, wrapping Remus immediately into a tender hug, "Sorry I'm late. How are you doing?"

Remus blushed. His expression morphed into one of strength and resolve. "I'm alright," he declared, "Just worried."

_Just trying to remain brave and manly in front of the girl you like_, Lily mentally translated, almost laughing.

Those two would be such a cute couple. They really needed to get their act together and make it happen.

(But it was hardly an appropriate moment for matchmaking.)

"Of course," Mary answered, taking a seat, "Well, I still haven't heard anything for sure, but my cousin Morna's husband's sister works next door to the auror department, and she said that she doesn't think Frank Longbottom or that Moody fellow have reported in since they went after Mina. Mr. Potter has been screaming about his agents going rogue and disregarding protocol and about how he's going to beat them senseless when they finally turn up."

Frowning, Remus wondered, "Well... what does it mean that they haven't reported in?"

Mary's dark eyes scanned the mostly empty room as the girl quietly declared, "I honestly don't know, but it is quite strange. Unless they're on an authorized undercover, Aurors are supposed to at least make contact every twelve hours. It's a safety net to make sure they don't go missing and not have anyone realize. I don't think Mina would've done anything to really hurt Longbottom and Moody, so that means they probably went quiet by choice."

"Which means they're either spies or they think someone else in the office is," Lily whispered. Goosebumps prickled her pale skin from head to toe. "If they're not unable, then they're unwilling. And those would be the most likely reasons."

Remus laughed bitterly, insisting, "There's no way Frank Longbottom is a spy. He's being a bit of an arse right now, but he's as upstanding as they come."

"He'll be glad to hear you think so highly of him."

The three startled teens looked up at the source of the amiable comment and found the frail old woman from behind the counter standing over them with a pink floral teapot.

As she smiled and freshened their drinks, the white-haired lady softly instructed, "Finish your tea, go home, and keep your mouths shut. Your friends are fine and will be returned shortly."

Proving himself far more impulsive than Lily would've ever guessed, Remus leapt immediately to his feet and grabbed the old woman by the collar. "Who are you?!" he demanded, "Where are they?!"

The woman didn't flinch, but she did seem a bit annoyed. "I thought you were the sensible one," she sighed.

Then she somehow got hold of Remus's wrist and twisted it expertly, bringing the lad to his knees with a grunt of pain.

Lily wanted to laugh at the sight of the strapping youth being beaten to submission by a little old lady. But she had bigger things with which to concern herself.

Both Lily and Mary were up and ready, wands out.

"There's no need for that, dearies," the old woman said with a rather rakish smirk, "I was just supposed to shadow you, but now I'm going to have to bring you all in. Sorry. In the future, try not to go around in public loudly and fairly accurately guessing at the intricacies of ongoing operations."

Lily refused to lower her wand but cautiously inquired, "You're an auror? You know what's going on?"

Laughing as her glamour spells faded (wrinkles smoothing and jowls receding and stern white bun turning a warm, sleek shade of brown; sharp features remaining largely the same), the fairly young woman declared, "Longbottom did something unprecedentedly stupid but for a very noble reason. I'm sure you Gryffindors can relate."

She even had a new, unmistakably posh accent.

Remus snarled, trying and failing to free himself. "I want to see my sister!" he shouted.

"Were you not listening?" the elegant brunette witch scolded primly, increasing the painful pressure of the wristlock, "I said I was taking you in. But not until you calm down a bit and remember your manners."

Lily sensed Mary relaxing beside her, the taller girl declaring, "He's calm. Aren't you, Remus?"

The two shared a significant glance.

Gritting his teeth, obviously still seething, Remus agreed, "Yes. Calm."

The slim witch laughed and released Remus. She shook her long hair out of its tidy bun and declared, "Not entirely convincing but good enough. I'm Vance. Now let's get out of here."

xxXxx

"It itches," Mina complained, for probably the hundredth time. Even with most of her head still swaddled in gauze, the girl's angry scowl remained apparent.

Sirius laughed, cuddling (yes, _cuddling_) her close and reminding, "I believe that means you're healing, love." He shifted a bit in the narrow hospital cot they shared, his long legs stretched out on either side of her body. "And it's not that bad. If you'll recall, I once sacrificed most of the skin on my face to a particularly devious prank of yours."

"Which you had coming," Mina said with a smirk. She seemed to relax slightly, cuddling, (yes, _cuddling_) against her boyfriend's chest. The huge plaid shirt she wore made the girl look deceivingly small and frail. "And I gave your skin back. This regrowing nonsense is dreadful. It's having like the worst sunburn you could ever imagine and then getting scalding water poured all over you."

She was quiet for a moment. Then she demanded, "Did they tell Moony? I don't want him to worry."

Sirius nodded and murmured, "Frank thought Moony could be in danger if anyone had figured out what happened, so they sent an auror to keep an eye on him. Vance. She seemed nice, and she said she'd let him know we were alright if she had the opportunity."

"That's good," Mina sighed. She fidgeted and pestered, "How much longer until the bandages come off?"

Even though Mina couldn't see him doing so, Sirius made a big show of checking an imaginary wristwatch. "Well, Prewett said twenty minutes ago, right before he whisked Frank away for their secret meeting," the long-haired boy chuckled, "But since I found out Prewett's not a real healer, I thought we should add on some time just to be safe."

Despite not being able to see, Mina managed to throw an elbow backwards and land a direct hit to her boyfriend's solar plexus. "Twat," she quipped, "Get these fucking things off me."

"Yes, love," Sirius groaned, "Whatever love wants."

Unable to suppress a goofy grin while he watched Sirius unwinding the gauze and Mina fidgeting crankily, James decided that he'd never get tired of seeing his two best friends together. They made each other so damned happy, even when they were squabbling and trading insults.

It was true love. And it filled James with hope.

He was pulled from his reverie by a sudden shout.

"Mina?!" Remus yelped as he came dashing into the cell, "Merlin! What happened?!"

"I'm fine, Moony," the girl replied. More bandages fell away, revealing her raw new skin and flawless smile, "I know I probably look like _Curse of the Mummy's Tomb_, but it's not that bad. Really. We were just taking the bandages off."

"Why did you need this many bloody bandages to begin with?" the werewolf complained, lending a hand carefully unraveling his sister's arms.

Mina shrugged. "Two spells hit each other close to where I was standing. The effect was a bit... explosive."

Frowning, Remus scolded, "You got in another duel?"

"No," the girl teased, "Frankie was trying to stun me, and this other bloke was trying to _Crucio_ me-"

"You didn't say it was a _Crucio_!" Sirius interrupted as he unspun the last length of gauze and tossed it onto the floor.

Shrugging again, face looking abnormally pink and shiny but otherwise ordinary, Mina countered, "It's not like it actually hit. Though that honestly might've been better than getting scorched."

The two boys stared at her in horror.

But she laughed, nudging Sirius again and demanding, "Be appalled later, after you're done taking off the bandages."

There was a long silence.

Trembling, Remus raised his hand and waved it back and forth into front of his sister's murky blue eyes.

Sour, clenching dread filled James's stomach as the young man realized that Mina couldn't detect the motion.

"What?" the girl asked, smirking but growing hesitant as the silence stretched on, "Do I have shrapnel in my teeth?"

"You can't see," whispered Sirius.

Rolling her blind eyes, Mina declared, "Of course I can't bloody see. My head's wrapped like a Christmas present." She reached up and touched her bare face with one hand and then the other. Her expression morphed into one of panic as the girl discovered that the physical barrier to her sight was already gone.

xxXxx

There was a crash and a howl of obscenities, and the five aurors in the main room of the deserted countryside jail (Frank and Vance, the redheaded twins, and gruff old Moody) rushed toward the source of the disturbance.

Lily and Mary followed close behind, tramping down a short dim hallway (that frankly needed a good scrub) and arriving at a holding area. They watched through the thick metal bars as Mina stumbled around the small cell and beat her fists wildly against thin air.

"FRANK!" she screamed, "WHERE ARE YOU, YOU FAT BITCH! I'M GOING TO _KILL YOU_!"

"Quiet," Frank snapped. Apparently he wasn't too worried about the threat because he put his wand away before adding, "You're going to wake-"

"YOU _BLINDED ME_!" shrieked Mina, her face flushing bright red and her wide blue eyes staring off at nothing, "YOU GORMLESS PRICK! YOUR SLUT MOTHER IS GOING TO _CRY_ WHEN SHE SEES WHAT I DO TO YOU!"

Completely drained of color, Remus and Black tried to catch and contain the girl, but they had no luck against her hysterical flails. Black took a sharp elbow to the jaw; Remus went down holding his unmentionables.

Pettigrew was knocked out of his chair, snorting awake as he hit the floor. The podgy boy blinked about in useless confusion.

"WHERE'S MY WAND?!" Mina carried on, tripping all over the place, banging hard into the furniture as she tried to feel her way around, "SOMEBODY GET ME MY FUCKING WAND! I AM GOING TO _FLAY _YOU! I AM GOING TO PEEL YOU LIKE A FUCKING _GRAPE _AND USE YOUR SKIN AS FUCKING _TOILET ROLL_!"

The pair of large, identical redheaded men snorted in tandem, the one on the right smoking like a chimney and quietly chuckling, "Inventive."

Mina screeched and began throwing things. Fortunately, all she could find were pillows and blankets and an occasional ribbon of gauze.

Also fortunately, Potter was there; he kept his distance and his cool. "Sunny," the lad called, "Stop. Please. I know you're scared, but you have to relax. You have to let us take a look at you. We can't try to fix it if you don't let us look."

Relaxation was perhaps too tall an order, but the girl did somewhat halt her rampage. She paused for a moment as the logic seeped past her tornado of primal rage and terror. Shaking all over, gaze distant and unfocused, Mina gave one more strangled snarl, tore the pillow clenched in her hands clean in half, and then collapsed onto the nearest empty cot.

Apparently unafraid of another burst of insanity, Potter crossed the room and sat beside her. He put his arm around her shoulders. He dotingly straightened her wild hair and brushed some feathers off her lap. He kissed her on the forehead and whispered something that earned an exhausted smirk from the girl.

Lily thought of the story of Daniel in the lions' den. But that was silly. Potter wasn't a biblical hero just because he wasn't frightened of his own psychotic friend... still, the scene remained strangely... miraculous. Touching.

It also apparently satisfied the smoking redheaded man that the danger had passed; he pushed his way into the cell and took a knee in front of his shivering patient. "Come now, love," he said with an encouraging grin as his wand light shined into her unreactive pupils, "I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. Healer Prewett will have you right as rain in a jiff."

In a surprising show of dexterity for a blind girl, Mina snatched the cigarette hanging from the redhead's lips and took a long, unsteady drag. "I know you're not a real healer, Prewett," she announced.

The man, Prewett, laughed, "But I'm the best that's ever dropped out of the healer academy a week before graduation."

"You got us _kicked out_ a week before graduation," muttered his exact copy. Probably also called Prewett.

"That makes me feel so much better," Mina grumbled.

xxXxx

Gideon and Fabian Prewett were twins, the look-alike, sound-alike, squabble-like-an-old-married-couple kind. Gideon rolled his own cigarettes out of cloying Turkish shag tobacco, and Fabian was unsuccessfully trying to quit smoking the stale menthols that crinkled in his shirt pocket. But even under those rugged, masculine smells, Mina could detect a homey hint of fresh-baked cookies, baby powder, bubble bath. Somewhere, a family waiting for them.

Emmeline Vance wore too much makeup; whenever she talked, Mina could hardly concentrate past the stench of the chemicals and wax and oils wafting off her lipstick. It was a sharp, artificial, almost plastic scent. Like the woman herself, with all the prim leg crosses and haughty hair tosses.

Alastor Moody carried a stink of death about him. Of dried blood and oozing pus and slow decay. He was easy to keep track of: his slight limp might as well have been a fanfare of trumpets. _Stompstepdraaag Stompstepdraaag Stompstepdraaag _as he patiently hovered and observed, hoarding his words like bullion.

Besides Frank (who reeked of fear and spoiled takeout and unwashed underwear) and Alice (whose heart thumped steadily along like the slow count of a metronome), there were two other aurors in the damp old building. But Mina didn't know their names and hadn't heard or smelled them at all. She was only aware of their presence because Sirius told her; Sirius said they were interrogating a prisoner in the next cell, the locked one with the layer of bricks stacked behind the corroding bars.

They must've had some damned good privacy charms in place to evade Mina's keen wolf senses, which seemed to magnify the longer she went with four instead of five.

"Listen," said Frank, who was once again keeping vigil at his partner's bedside, "I am sorry. I didn't know... anyways, Prewett says he can fix the damage."

Mina laughed. She ached like she she'd been hit by a train; the lingering odor of her own burned flesh threatened to propel the pit of her empty stomach out through her mouth. "I'll believe that when I see it," the girl giggled, battling another wave of hysteria, "But for now, you owe us an explanation."

Frank sighed guiltily. "Well," he declared, "First off, I wasn't trying to stun you to be mean. I was just trying to make it look good so that Travers wouldn't suspect I was really there for him. And I didn't have cause to be going after him anyways, so I went after you. I didn't expect you to be so... evasive. And I certainly didn't want you escaping with him. It was a ruse, Mina. As soon as he ran, I had cause to detain him. You should've dove down and let me chase the bastard."

"Because that sounds like something I would do," she grumbled.

Anger poured off the girl's friends. But no one said anything, waiting for more.

"After the explosion," Frank continued, "Moody and I found Travers trapped under a piece of caved-in ceiling. You and he needed immediate medical care, but we couldn't risk taking you to the hospital. So we brought you here. Moody fetched the Prewetts because they're both trained healers and because we trust them. I went back to search the house for Alice. I didn't find her."

"So Travers underwent some light interrogation, eh?" Mina guessed, chuckling, "I hope you ripped off the slimy frog's fingernails."

With a quiet gasp, Evans complained, "Torturing suspects is _illegal_-"

"Moody is very persuasive," Frank said. And that's all he would offer on the subject. "Alice was under the floorboards in the library."

"I knew it," Mina announced smugly. That's where she'd followed the smell of pencil shavings back at Travers's house. But, then again, Mina hadn't smelled pencil shavings since, and Alice had been in the cell with her the entire time... _Hmmm... Odd..._

Surprised, Frank continued, "Alice was put under some sort of... we thought it was a sleeping curse, but she can open her eyes, and she blinks to answer questions. It's like they trapped her inside her own body. She seemed to be in a lot of pain, so we sedated her. Fabian started working on the reversal, but he said he needed help for something so complicated. He called Shacklebolt, who came with his partner and their trainee, Vance and Jugson. So that's the seven of us. I told everyone about Alice being kidnapped, about the leak in the department. Everything. Now we're just trying to figure out who the traitor is. If we can do it without involving the Potters, then no one will question if the leak came from either of them."

"My parents are not bloody traitors," James insisted.

Mina could hear his hands tighten into fists, bones creaking and skin pulling taut.

"I don't think so either," Frank agreed, "But if there is an investigation into the department, then it's not going to matter. They'll probably be asked to step down. None of us wants that."

There was some shifting and shuffling as the quiet stretched on.

Finally, Mary inquired, "So... how exactly are you going to find this traitor?" She was a cloud of quidditch smells, leather and sweat and broom polish and fresh-cut grass and endless summer sky.

"Still working on it," Frank grumbled. He huffed and added, "But until we do, you're all staying here. For your safety and ours."

"You can't just keep us here," Lily complained, again, "I was supposed to be home three hours ago. And Mr. and Mrs. Potter are already frantic without yet another child disappearing from their care."

James's messy hair flopped and rustled as his head snapped around. "How would you know?" the lad asked.

"Your mother phoned me..." Lily reluctantly explained. From the sound of her discomfort, more people than James were probably gaping in astonishment.

Mina could smell the bespectacled lad's mortified blush, the stampede of hormones in his veins and the clamor of heat coming off his cheeks.

"I'm still confused as to why the rest of them are even here," said Mina, hopefully saving James from a parent-induced shame spiral, "You really didn't need to fetch me any playmates, Frankie. I would've been fine on my own."

Sirius's arm tightened around her shoulders, his fingertips digging into her ribs. "Brat," he laughed quietly into her ear.

Mina nearly shivered as his illicitly sexy voice washed over her body.

"I definitely would've preferred to keep all your little friends out of this," Frank claimed, sounding quite annoyed, "But the first three tailed you to the bar, a known underworld meeting place, and then stood outside it talking about how they thought I had set you up as bait. Moody brought them in before they ruined everything running their big mouths. Vance was shadowing the second three, and she heard them discussing a possible spy in the department. Vance tried to warn them off, but your brother made a bit of a scene."

"I really hope you're not suggesting that this is somehow _my_ _fault_," growled Remus. He squeezed Mina's hand as if to assure himself that she was still there. "I wasn't the one who thought it was a good idea to recruit a sixteen-year-old girl to be a bloody double agent in some kind of fucked-up Death Eater drug deal."

Sniggering at the description, Mina teased, "Language, Moony. There are ladies present."

Powerlessness over her own expressions once again proved unnerving, and even with enhanced senses, the young Animagus couldn't detect half of what was going on.

(Sirius and Remus watched Mina; James watched Lily; Mary watched Remus; Peter slept; Peter had fallen asleep again with sausage on his breath, and no one had noticed.)

Frank huffed, "If I'd had any other viable option, I most certainly would've taken it. But Mina handled herself quite well."

The girl felt an odd surge of pride.

xxXxx

"So... are we going to talk about what happened back at the bar?"

Sirius tensed as he stepped out of the tiny closet-like loo and regarded his friend with a pleading look. "Nothing happened," the long-haired teen declared, "I'm fine."

"Now you are," James quietly replied, glancing over both shoulders before pushing Sirius back inside the small, dingy, but thankfully clean toilet cubicle. Hazel eyes sad behind thick specs, he shut the door with a quiet click. "Padfoot," James sighed, "You started screaming about running out of air. You beat your hands bloody against the walls and then passed out. Clearly something happened. Just because I healed you and covered for you doesn't mean it's going away."

Generally all Sirius needed to do to think of what to say was open his mouth. It was a helpful ability, but it also had the nasty habit of deserting him at the most inconvenient moments, leaving the lad looking and feeling stupid with his jaw hanging uselessly, giving small insects the opportunity to kamikaze his tonsils.

Sirius grimaced and coughed. "I'm fine," he insisted again. What else could he say? It wasn't like the teen had even been able to adequately explain the episode to himself. Aside from his most recent rash of captivity-induced nightmares, Sirius has never before experienced bone-deep panic and horror over something as silly as being locked in a too small room. A too small, possibly shrinking room with no doors and no windows and _not enough air_...

_Bugger_, he thought, forcing himself to take a breath, not to fixate on the tininess of his current location.

"Just... can we do this later, Prongs?" He groped for the door handle. "Please? You can be as nosy as you want once we're home."

James thumped him on the arm, crossly arguing, "I'm not being _nosy_, you arse! I'm concerned for your health and sanity!"

"How is that different from normal?" answered Sirius. He ducked another halfhearted swing and escaped, nearly running into Evans in the hall.

She regarded him confusedly. "Were you in there with Potter?" the girl asked.

"James is having some _man troubles_," Sirius replied. He took another breath, focusing on getting his heart to stop hammering.

Evans stared. "What does that mean?"

"You're not supposed to ask," Sirius whispered, winking playfully, "You're supposed to get all uncomfortable and change the subject. That's what I always do when a girl says she's having _woman troubles_. It's just polite."

Evans huffed and rolled her eyes. "_Anyways_," she said, "The food is ready."

Indeed, the building had been filled with the aroma of frying sausages (which, aside from some wonky off-brand tinned ham, were the only edibles the aurors had readily stocked; which, if his breath was any indication, Peter had been helping himself to almost since their arrival).

Stepping out just in time to hear the pronouncement, James grumbled, "Great."

And for some reason, Evans took offense. "The proper response when someone cooks for you is to thank that person," she spat, hands on hips and green eyes blazing, "Not to be an unappreciative prat!" With a fan of red trailing behind her like fire, the girl spun on her heel and stormed away.

James went quickly from bewildered to crestfallen.

So Sirius slung an arm around his shoulders, comforting, "Nice one."

"I didn't mean..." the young man muttered, "I just wasn't excited about not having anything to eat."

"Evans made sausages," reminded Sirius as he dragged his friend along.

Groaning, James declared, "Pads, for the _last time_, I'm a _vegetarian_."

"Oh?" Sirius chuckled, "Still?"

xxXxx

Mina woke and immediately knew that something was _wrong_. For starters, it was too quiet. And she was slumped over a table, and her whole body felt groggy and stiff. The last thing she could recall was...

Sirius had guided the girl out of the cell and into the larger common area, all the while cracking jokes about being her seeing eye dog...

Remus had made Mina a plate and even cut her sausages into bite-sized pieces. He pouted like a toddler when she refused to let him feed her...

The conversation had been strained, the participants yawning frequently as they ate...

The persistent sound of James's stomach growling had prompted Sirius to remind the others of his vegetarianism...

Lily had apologized profusely, sounding and probably looking like an idiot...

Vance and the Prewetts had teased James, accusing him of being one of those hippie tree-huggers...

Moody had sent the lad down into the basement storeroom to search for something more to his tastes. Then Moody had left to deliver food to Frank, Shacklebolt, and Jugson, who wouldn't abandon their posts.

Mina had listened to the hypnotic tattoo of Moody's limp retreating back toward the cells...

And then... that was it. The rest was a blank.

Picking her head up from her plate, Mina wiped lukewarm grease off her cheek and strained her senses in a desperate attempt to gather some explanation.

She heard... sleep. Soft, steady breathing, an occasional snore, the whistle of air being forced in and out through a stuffy nostril. She was in a room full of sleeping people who, like her, seemed to have passed out into their dinners.

"Moony?" she called faintly, reaching blindly to where she remembered her brother and boyfriend being on her either side, "Padfoot?"

No response, not even when Mina grabbed hold of what she assumed were their shirts and gave the boys a rough shake.

"Hello?" she tried again, standing and stumbling. A spike of fear froze her, a small mental freakout of _blind. I'm fucking blind and all alone..._

The heavy metallic slide of a cell door echoed down the hall.

"You beat me for two days before finally doing your damn job, and now you expect gratitude? _Allez l'enfer_!"

Claude Travers. Free. And from that comment and the extra set of footsteps, he wasn't by himself.

"How was I supposed to know it would take them so long to eat?" The second voice was an exasperated male rumble, accompanied by the meaty crack of knuckles. "The Prewetts are usually bottomless pits. And with all those damn kids around, I figured someone would start cooking right away. I couldn't just start hexing people! I want to keep my cover! I haven't even gotten an official post yet!"

"_Pauvre con_. Just get this done so I can get out of here."

More footsteps. They were heading... into the other cell?

Where Alice laid paralyzed and helpless.

As silently as she could manage, Mina crept toward the sounds and found the entrance to the hallway. She used a hand on the wall to steer herself in a mostly straight line.

After only a handful of steps, the girl tripped over... Moody. It was Moody she realized from the smell of decay. His unconscious body had dropped to the floor.

"What was that?"

"I heard nothing. Get on with it."

"There was definitely a noise..."

"This bitch is the only real witness, the only one who can destroy your precious cover and send us both to Azkaban, so kill her, you incompetent, insufferable-"

"Ok, ok."

Mina steadied herself, trying to think, mentally cursing up a storm at Frank for refusing to return her wand.

(It wasn't like she actually knew any of the spells she'd threatened to use on him, the big bloody baby.)

But the girl had to do something. Travers and his accomplice would get away. They would kill Alice for sure and maybe everyone else in the building, too.

That's when Mina smelled the pencil shavings, just like back at the house with Travers. It wasn't a scent one routinely encountered in the wizarding world, and certainly not in the home of a Death Eater. That was why Mina had assumed that the smell came from Alice.

But... no. Travers's accomplice. He'd been there at the house, in the library. He was here now. The building had been locked down, so he was probably an auror, probably one of the two Mina hadn't met...

Shacklebolt or Jugson.

_Doesn't matter who he is_, she told herself, _Only whether or not I can stop him... _

So with no other choices coming to mind, Mina settled for... "Oi! Fuckface!"

(Definitely not one of her more intelligent plots, but Mina had accomplished an impressive array of improbable feats just by baffling her enemies with sheer inexplicable, idiotic fearlessness.)

There was a short shocked silence.

"You can't even spike a girl's food right?" Mina taunted, feeling along the wall and thankfully finding the door to the toilet. She pulled it open and took cover inside the narrow nook. "What kind of Death Eater are you?"

For once, a superhuman tolerance to Sleeping Draught seemed to have come in handy; if the traitor had wielded any other potion against them, then Mina would still be out cold with the others.

"Miss Lupin," growled Travers. Neither he nor his friend left the safety of the cell. "I was hoping I would have the _pleasure_ of seeing you again."

People, especially ones you've previously gotten the better of, hate being taunted. It makes them angry, and anger can nudge them toward foolish decisions that once again transfer the upper hand. (It was just about the only hope Mina had of gaining any such advantage.)

"Is that why you picked such a useless fuckup of a cohort?" laughed Mina, "Honestly. I've been drugged more thoroughly by my slut mother, and she's the queen of dim-witted cunts. Talk about scraping the bottom of the barrel."

A snarl of annoyance from the accomplice, a sound like Travers had held the man back.

Excellent.

"Then again," Mina continued, "I suppose you didn't have many applicants for the position of spineless traitor." She cackled. "Poor, poor Clod. It's so hard to find good help these days."

Huffing, Travers agreed, "In that you are correct."

Mina let the silence stretch on for a few long moments. Finally, she declared, "So... I've got a joke for you. What do Death Eaters and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?"

More stunned silence. "Excuse me?" the Frenchman wondered aloud.

"Give up?" answered Mina, "They've both swallowed a lot of seamen." She giggled, suppressing panic because, seriously? That's all her brain had to offer? She was going to die. "Get it? Sea-men? Semen?"

"Amusing," Travers drawled, "You think yourself quite clever, don't you, girl?"

Mina shrugged. "I don't know about clever," she said, "Certainly my unique sense of humor brightens any occasion."

There was a quiet chuckle. "You're stalling," Travers observed.

"Nonsense," the girl argued, "Just making conversation. I didn't think it would be polite to ask about the details of your nefarious plans, but if you feel like talking, I'm a wonderful listener."

Another growl from the traitor.

"C'mon," coaxed Mina, "I bet you have a lot to say, especially about your bosses. Mr. Mulciber and old What's-His-Name. It's so difficult to work for megalomaniacs, especially the sexually confused ones who are compensating for tiny cocks."

"You will not speak ill of the Dark Lord!" snapped the traitor, "Or I will come out there and smash your teeth in, you filthy half-blood whore!"

Hmmm. So the traitor was a fanatic rather than a mercenary. That might be valuable information.

Mina laughed, wondering how long she could keep this up, how long until a friend or an auror awoke from their drugged stupor and arrived to rescue her. She felt around the bathroom a bit; the only thing she found that might be useful was a mildewed plunger, which she brandished like a sword. _If I have to charge them_, she thought half-hysterically, _Maybe they'll be too busy laughing to kill me... _

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Mina taunted, "All that stands between you and a clean getaway is one defenseless little girl. Shouldn't be a problem for an important Cock Eater- I mean _Death Eater_ such as yourself. But do me a favor and bring some cigs with you. I'm going to want a nice smoke after I make you my bitch."

The two men whispered for a moment, probably thinking that Mina couldn't hear them.

"What _are _we waiting for?" hissed the traitor, "She is just a girl."

Travers quietly replied, "A girl with a reputation-"

"Oh, don't put it like that, Clod," Mina teased, "That makes me sound like a slag. I thought we were friends."

The silence that followed seemed unnerved. Yes, Mina was definitely getting to them. And it also seemed as though neither man was aware that she'd been disarmed and blinded. "Tell you what, Clod," the teen offered, "How about a trade? You toss out your lackey's lackluster little bollocks, and I'll let you walk out of here."

Spluttering, sounding like he was taking several large steps away from the Frenchman, the traitor called, "You're bloody mad if you think that's going to happen!"

"No one's talking to you, Jugson." It was a guess, but Mina figured she had a fifty-fifty chance and was feeling lucky. Plus, if the conversation went on for very much longer, she was definitely going to get to call him Juggles. "My good friend Clod and I are discussing my new keychain."

Travers actually laughed, short and sharp and cruel. "It is a real shame that I'm going to have to kill you," he declared, "You'd be very entertaining at the meetings."

"Sure," said Mina, "I could do my stand-up routine in between the baby-flesh appetizers and the man-on-man-on-man-on-man orgy."

"Enough," Travers snapped, "Foolish child! Prepare to die!"

The bathroom door exploded.

xxXxx

After half an hour and two spider bites, James finally found a stale package of biscuits buried beneath a mountain of moth-eaten police uniforms. "Better than nothing," the young man grumbled as he took the stairs two at a time up from the dim, dusty basement. An advantage of long legs was getting places faster; however, the perk wasn't really worth all the times James spent tripping over his own clumsy feet.

As he reached the top of the steps, James tripped and fell so hard onto his right knee that the entire building seemed to shake from the force of the stumble.

Wait... the entire building _was_ shaking.

Wide-eyed, James stared around the main room and the heaps of unconscious bodies slumped over various antique desks and tables; he heard bangs and screams and deranged laughter coming from the hallway.

On all fours, a forgotten biscuit clenched between his teeth like a bit, the boy crawled toward the commotion and peeked around the corner.

He saw Mina come charging out of the loo and toward the cells, wildly waving... a plunger?

_Oh, Merlin. What the bloody hell is she doing?_

The flash of red light hit her square in the chest, knocking the girl backwards in a slow arch of agonized airborne screaming and writhing. Her skull bounced off the tile with a vicious _CRACK_ and turned the shrieks to dazed, desperate gasps.

James very nearly forgot himself and rushed out of hiding to help his friend.

But the two attackers beat him two it: a tall man with dark hair (who was probably handsome when his face wasn't swollen like an eggplant) struggled to pull his ragged suit into a semblance of respectability as he strode forward; a pudgy bloke who, quite frankly, looked as though he had tarantula ancestry (bristly black hair all over his head and chin and spindly arms, black buggy eyes, the distinct and unnerving impression that he could gleefully slurp out a person's insides) stomped directly over to where Mina lay twitching and whimpering and fighting for air.

With a mocking grin, the tarantula man regarded her from head to toe and commented, "Not a bad piece of arse. Maybe we should take her with us after all. I think I deserve a reward for handling this fiasco of yours."

The eggplant scoffed and said, in an arrogant but slurred French accent, "She is _sixteen_, you cretin."

"And she needs to learn her fucking place," Tarantula replied. He kicked Mina hard in the ribs before adding, "Besides, if we take her with us, we can kill the rest of them and make it look like it was her. Nobody but these idiots knows that Longbottom sent her in undercover. The rest think she's a mental criminal. It's perfect. And then I don't have to worry about having my cover blown. I can just pretend I was never here."

James spat out his biscuit (he was never going to be able to gnaw through it anyways) and silently grabbed the wand from his back pocket, watching for his moment as Eggplant thought hard about the suggestion.

"You make a convincing point," the Frenchman conceded, "Restrain her for now. We will decide once we deal with Newton. She is the priority."

James took a deep breath and careful aim. "_Stupefy_," he whispered.

Tarantula collapsed like a marionette that'd had its strings cut.

Eggplant was so startled and so slow (probably from being pummeled to his current puffy purple) that repeating the process on him was kind of embarrassingly easy.

After two more quick spells to bind the attackers, James finally hurried to Mina's side.

She trembled and blinked up at a spot about three inches to the right of his face. "Ow," the girl croaked, "Prongs?"

"Ya, it's me," James replied. He pulled her head into his lap, probing her wild thicket of sandy hair until he found the spot from which she was bleeding sluggishly.

"You should check on Alice," insisted Mina. She swallowed hard, her glassy eyes leaking from the corners and spilling helpless tears of hurt and shock down her temples.

James huffed. He realized his hands were shaking as he did his best to heal the jagged gash that, really, was probably the least of their problems. The lad replied, "I'm checking on _you_."

With another, stronger full-body shudder, Mina whined, "They were going to kill her."

"They were going to kill _YOU_!" James shouted. Never in his life had the young man been angrier at his friend or quite so relieved to see her awake and breathing. "Merlin's sake, Sunny," he said, quietly, trying not to let his voice break or his own tears fall, "There is a fine line between brave and stupid, but blindly charging two Death Eaters with nothing but a plunger to defend yourself is about 200 leagues into uncharted stupid!"

Mina coughed. Or maybe it was an attempt at a laugh. She hoarsely answered, "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

The danger of being alive at that moment in history, of being who he was and having the friends he did had never felt more real to James. This wasn't hijinks and hilarity anymore. It was life. And it was death.

Abject terror coiled around his heart and sank its fangs in with chilling permanence.

"I'll be sure they put that on your headstone someday," he quipped, because without a joke to fall back on, the lanky teen thought he might spend the next month straight curled up in the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably.

Beaming even as her unseeing gaze radiated pain and her frail body quivered, Mina chuckled, "I'll hold you to that."

xxxxxxxxxx

And a happy April Fool's Day to you all. I am celebrating with my first official sunburn of the year and a headcold from hell. So. Ya. Reviews would be super.


	26. Everyone Loves a Monkey

Part 26 – Everyone Loves a Monkey

Pete was the last to be released from Mungo's; poor whelp had nearly put himself into a coma with the number of sleeping-draught laced sausages he'd devoured during their lengthy captivity. "I was nervous," the pudgy lad had defended after finally blinking back into hazy consciousness nearly three days behind the rest of the victims, "I eat when I'm nervous."

Even though Pete's parents were taking him home, James, Remus, and Sirius came to see their friend off. Mina wanted in on the expedition, but the hospital staff had sworn a lifetime ban if the girl ever showed up there with anything less than mortal injuries.

"No!" shouted the plump blonde Welcome Witch, "No, no, _NO_!" She dove into their path, waving her thick arms in an effort to bar the boys from venturing any farther, "Not you! Get out of here!"

The smattering of variously afflicted patients in the waiting room seemed shocked and worried; the Welcome Witch's generally surly demeanor aside, it wasn't every day that people were refused entrance to a hospital.

Plastering on his most charming grin, Sirius cooed, "Good afternoon, Beulah. Lovely to see you again."

The woman's pinched face flushed through the entire spectrum of the color red before settling on a shade somewhat similar to the juicy core of a medium-rare steak. "My name," she hissed, "Is _Beatrice_. And you are _not_ allowed back on these premises! Not until we've patched the hole in the roof!"

"You mean the skylight I generously donated?" Sirius asked, feigning hurt, "But it really brightens up the tearoom."

"We're just here to see Peter," James contributed, poking dolefully at the impressive array of bruises dotting his pale chicken-bone shins, "And to thank you all _ever_ so much for sending Mina home with that nifty cane."

Somewhat relaxing, Beatrice quickly scanned their little threesome and, after finding no trace of stunning tits or feral smiles or eerie blind blue eyes, hesitantly ventured, "You didn't bring _her_ did you?"

"Mina is resting," explained Remus. He'd been difficult to pry away, but the girl had threatened elaborate torture if her brother didn't go wish Peter her best. "The potions she's taking give her headaches," everyone's favorite werewolf added, "And they'll supposedly work faster if she stays out of direct sunlight."

(Sirius was about ninety percent certain "Healer" Prewett had completely fabricated that fact, though why remained a mystery.)

Beatrice the Welcome Witch still seemed skeptical but huffed and conceded, "Alright. You have fifteen minutes. If you're not out by then, or if I detect even a _whiff _of misbehavior, I'm going to summon the security troll."

Sirius shuddered, vividly remembering the one night he spent as a patient in the hospital, trying to sneak from his bed on the third floor (potion and plant poisoning) to Mina's on the fourth (spell damage) and being stopped none too gently by an ornery eight-foot-tall monstrosity called Grong. "Yes, ma'am," the teen answered obediently, "Fifteen minutes. On the dot. You have our solemn vow."

Rolling her eyes, the Welcome Witch reluctantly let them pass. Her hateful gaze followed the boys all the way to the safety and mild, unobtrusive music inside the lift.

(Sirius longed for his records, his girlfriend, and his bed. The combination (in no particular order) had been most enjoyable over the last few days of relaxation and recuperation at the Potter homestead.)

"I told you the skylight was a bad idea," Remus scolded as he pushed the correct button and then jammed his hands into his pockets to wait out their upward ride.

Sirius shrugged, answering, "They're far less angry over that than they are over having had your sister loose in the building all that time. Half the nutters in the Permanently Addled Ward tried to check themselves out."

Remus frowned. "I don't think the patients in the _Janus Thickney Ward_ are in any condition to do any such thing," he complained, "Prewett made that up. And I also think he was responsible for a lot of the incidents that Mina got blamed for. Especially teaching all those kids the lewd drinking songs."

"Probably," James said with a frail smile, "Both Prewetts seem like they're holding a bit of a grudge, but it is understandable after they got kicked out of healer training a week before graduation."

Nodding in agreement, Sirius murmured, "Ya, that would be a real heartbreaker, but they seem much better suited to being aurors."

Remus snorted. "Gideon has the attention span of a gnat," he observed, "And Fabian desperately needs anger management classes. But at least they're not as bad as Vance."

"You're just saying that because she embarrassed you in front of Mary," laughed Sirius.

Getting a bit pink in the cheeks, Remus spluttered, "She didn't... I wasn't... Shut up!"

The lift doors slid open with a cheery ding.

xxXxx

Sedate summer heat spilled down from the sky and oozed up off the pavement, surrounding Mina like a woolly, humid cocoon. The spice and zest and chaotic clamor of the city buoyed her spirits.

"This is a bad idea," Mary repeated, hovering anxiously. She drew in a sharp breath and grabbed Mina by the elbow, yanking her hard to the left.

Something spewing a noxious cloud of diesel exhaust thundered past. Its shockwaves rattled through the concrete and through the souls of Mina's shoes.

"A very, _very_ bad idea," Mary added, "Can we _please_ go back to the Potters' house? Before you succeed in dying a foolish and entirely avoidable death?"

Adjusting her thick, heavy sunglasses, Mina brightly replied, "Don't be such a kill-joy, Mac." She went back to swinging her cane in wide semicircles and stampeding down the sidewalk, smirking at every startled yelp and grumbled curse of the people who had to jump out of her way. "I defeated two Death Eaters," the girl added, "I think I can handle meeting Frankie for lunch."

Mary growled, "You didn't _defeat_ anyone! You got your arse royally kicked! You would've been kidnapped or murdered or _worse_ if James hadn't rescued you!"

"Vegetarianism saves the day," Mina chuckled, "Guess we'll have to stop giving him such a hard time about his grazing habits."

There was a long suffering sigh, and then Mary pretty much abandoned her annoying insistence on spouting sensible advice.

About damn time. Mrs. Potter hadn't invited Mary to stay over so that she could be a bloody nag; Mrs. Potter had invited Mary to stay over so that she could share a room with Mina and keep the sandy-haired witch from noisily toppling anymore bookcases trying to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

The two girls found the small café with only a few more incidents (a screaming match with a bloke who didn't like being whacked in the ankle, a near-miss with a speeding taxi, a misunderstanding with a woman who (turned out) was _not_ pushing a monkey around in a pram).

"Could've bloody fooled me," Mina grumbled as she allowed Mary to drag her away by the arm, "Whatever that creature is, it certainly reeks like the monkey house at the zoo."

The door opened in a wash of lovely food smells (strong tea with wildflower honey, fresh bread, some sort of strawberry pastry that had transformed the air into a thick, buttery confection of its own).

"Guys. Over here."

She turned toward the sound of Frank's voice and bashed her knee against a hard surface. "Son of a _whore_!" the girl spat, hopping along as Mary shoved her through the minefield of tripping hazards and pushed her down into a creaky wood chair.

"Are you alright?" Frank asked, his concern as warm and heavy as the huge hand he placed on her shoulder.

"Peachy," replied Mina. She flashed a valiant grin. "Just one more bruise for the collection. How about you? How'd your suspension hearing go?"

Chuckling, Frank declared, "Two months, without pay. But, considering I disregarded almost every protocol, technically committed a few acts of treason, and put the Department Heads' kids in mortal peril, that's not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Plus, Alice won't be off medical leave at least until then, so I don't have to worry about being stuck with a new partner."

"Congratulations?" Mina laughed. She poked her cane into the aisle in order to stop the busy waitress from breezing by their table. "Three teas," the girl demanded, "And three of the strawberry thingies."

With an apologetic huff, Frank declared, "Make that four, please. Thanks."

Unnerved, the waitress scribbled their order and then scurried away.

"Four?" Mary questioned. She had made herself comfortable directly to Mina's right. "Who else is coming?"

Mina could hear Frank's lips peel back from his teeth in what had to be a million-mile smile. "Alice," the young man declared, "She understands the concept of _bed rest_ about as well as Mina does. And she's already here, just washing her hands."

The unsteady, halting rhythm of a light set of approaching footsteps proved the last detail to be untrue, and soon Alice's delighted squeal alerted the others to her presence.

Mina pictured the woman as she'd seen her last, back in February: the former Hufflepuff's golden blonde hair glittered with snow, and her round cheeks flushed pink from cold and laughter as Alice walked beside Frank; her average height and average build seemed dwarfish and delicate next to her partner's looming bulk.

Spending a month paralyzed and stuffed under the floorboards in Claude Travers's library had apparently eroded the woman to the trembling pile of paper-thin skin and obvious bones that flung itself at Mina for a lingering hug.

Mina squirmed. "C'mon, Newton," she protested, "Is this really necessary?"

"Hush," the auror scolded happily, sneaking a kiss onto Mina's cheek, "I'm allowed to be grateful."

Fidgeting, vowing to whack Mary and Frank with her cane when she heard them snicker, Mina complained, "Oh, sure. Molest the defenseless blind girl."

Alice finally released her and took the seat between Frank and Mary, directly across from Mina. "So," she began cheerfully, the faint tremors that plagued her body vibrating the small square table, "How're you feeling?"

Why was that everyone's first question? Why did Mina always want to answer _how the bloody hell do you think I'm feeling, you insensitive tit?_

With a shrug, Mina replied, "Fine. The healers think I should get my sight back just in time for school."

"That's wonderful news!" said Alice. There was a short pause during which the two aurors seemed to share some sort of significant glance. "And how are the boys?" she went on softly, "You could've brought them along, too."

Mina rolled her eyes. Then she remembered that no one could see her eyes as long as they were hidden behind the dark shades. "No way," the girl declared, "I needed a break from them. Remus and Sirius hover around me all the time and barely let me do anything for myself. And James is just being a little bitch-"

"He's still upset about what happened," Mary hastily defended, "I'm sure it was very traumatic for him to watch you being almost murdered."

"Well, I'm over it," snapped Mina, "He needs to get over it, too. I'm sick of the goddamn _moping_."

Another short silence, this one substantially more awkward. They were all staring at her in that _what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you_ tone; Mina could tell by the way her skin began to crawl.

Frank cleared his throat. "Well," he said as way of a subject change, "I'm sure you heard that the charges against you were officially dropped?"

Snorting, Mina replied, "I heard. Sirius read me the article. _The Prophet_ splashes my face on the front page when they think I'm a criminal, but news of my innocence gets hidden below the obituaries."

"Vance told me people are still sending in tips that they spotted you in the hospital," giggled Alice, "One bloke showed up at the department demanding a reward in exchange for information on your whereabouts."

Now that? That was _hilarious_.

And it gave Mina a _wonderful_ idea.

xxXxx

Ever since Lily arrived home from the hospital, Petunia had been uncharacteristically nice to her. Well, not exactly _nice_, but... less absolutely horrible?

And even though that was likely because their parents had badgered, guilted, and/or bribed the older girl into the behavior, Lily was definitely not above using the advantage in order to try to convince her sister that they could still be the best friends they once were.

Kind of a last-ditch effort: Petunia had graduated school, and she was already talking about moving away. (Translation: moving away and never speaking to Lily again.)

"Are you sure this is safe?" the taller girl sneered, glaring around at the bustling Diagon Alley crowd with such distaste that several shoppers actually stopped to glare back.

Lily laced her arm through her sister's and soothed, "It's perfectly safe-" actually, barely a year had passed since the infamous Death Eater attack "-And it'll be fun. I promise. There's the best ice cream shop just down there. And the Menagerie has loads of pets. Maybe you could get a cat. Or even a kneazle. I don't think there are any laws against a non-magic person owning one, and it could keep you company in your new place. They're very clever creatures."

If her sister could just _comprehend_ the wizarding world, then maybe she could come to accept it, and to accept Lily for being a part of it.

Turning her nose up at the very idea, Petunia tucked a neat shock of blonde hair behind one of her ears and hissed, "No, _thank you_. Normal animals carry enough diseases as it is. I can only imagine what I'd catch from one of... yours."

_I walked right into that one_, Lily thought glumly.

"I don't understand why you had to drag me here," Petunia continued, "You should've just called up that nasty little friend of yours. Sev or whatever."

Lily winced and tried not to hate her sister for rubbing salt in still raw wounds.

And then all at once, something changed; the excited banter of busy schoolchildren and their proud parents became a hushed, panicked susurrus and a rapid exodus of the half-block immediately surrounding Fortescue's. As soon as Lily got closer, she completely understood why.

Mina Lupin had planted herself at one of the outdoor tables and was devouring an enormous sundae with great gusto. Aside from the blocky black sunglasses that kept sliding down her small freckled nose, the girl looked entirely normal, which for her meant that her sandy hair was in disarray, her expression was three seconds from depraved laughter, and her legs were flung out in an immodest sprawl. She'd clearly dressed herself: a too-big quidditch jersey hung off one slender shoulder and had slipped far enough down to expose half of the red bikini top she wore underneath; her ragged jeans and trainers were splattered with mud and muck all the way up to the knees.

Lily sighed, steering her sister toward the danger zone.

Lupin cocked her head as they approached, smirking and greeting, "Ok, Evans, before you start, try to remember that prefects don't have the power to hand out detentions during summer. And also that I didn't do anything... I suppose the second point is more important."

"Hello, Lupin," answered Lily. Lupin's eerie knowledge of things she couldn't possibly see or even detect by ordinary means wasn't surprising, not after watching the girl walk through the Mungo's waiting room and loudly, correctly diagnose a half dozen patients by sound and smell alone.

(It would be more impressive if Lily hadn't known that the girl was an illegal Animagus, that she was probably just abusing her ill-gotten animal senses. But Lupin didn't know that Lily knew, and Potter and the other boys had claimed that it was best if things stayed that way for the time being.)

Shoveling a spoonful of what looked like straight hot fudge into her mouth, Lupin brightly inquired, "Who's your friend?"

Already mentally drafting an apology for whatever Lupin was about to say or do, Lily declared, "This is my sister, Petunia. I was just showing her around."

"Beautiful day for it," Lupin said with a trademark feral grin. She stuck out her slim hand (in vaguely the right direction) and added, "Nice to meet you, Petunia. I'm Mina Lupin."

The only thing more unsettling than Lupin being civil was Petunia refusing to shake the girl's hand. Petunia glowered at it and then at Lily. "Can we _go_?" she demanded.

Lily soothed, "In a minute." She gave her sister a fistful of sickles, suggesting, "Why don't you buy us some cones? The mint-chip is fabulous. Your favorite, right?"

Something resembling hurt flickered across the bony woman's angular face before she growled and stomped away into the ice cream parlor.

Lily took a seat. "What are you doing here?" she inquired, "Aren't you supposed to be resting? Does Remus know where you are?" After a brief moment of reflection, the redhead hesitantly ventured, "Are you... lost? Do you need some help?"

Lupin snorted and then grimaced, clutching her forehead. "Ow," she groaned, "Fuck's sake, Evans. Don't ask such stupid questions while I'm eating. I think I just got ice cream in my bloody sinuses."

The redhead couldn't help letting out an absolutely irritated huff.

Of course, Lupin lived to elicit such responses and simply grinned. "I'm fine," she announced, "Mac is with me. She wanted to go to Quality Quidditch Supplies. I didn't, so I'm sitting here being an absolute angel, eating my sundae, and waiting for her glorious return."

Though that did appear to be all that was going on, Lily had a sneaking suspicion there was more. With Lupin, there was always more.

"I suppose this means you're feeling better?" the redhead questioned.

Lupin shrugged. "Tip-top," she said, "Yourself?"

"Yes, I'm alright," answered Lily. She stared, kind of bewildered, trying and failing to think of another time when Lupin had ever shown her seemingly genuine concern. "Um," the redhead continued, "And the others? Have they all recovered?"

"Pete is getting out of Mungo's today," Lupin declared, "He finally seems to be over the lingering narcolepsy. The boys are seeing him off." Raising a speculative sandy eyebrow over the thick black tint of her shades, the girl added, "Didn't James tell you? I thought you two were buddy-buddy pen-pals these days."

Lily battled down an imminent blush. "No," she insisted, "I mean, we were, but I was only writing to Potter because Remus wasn't answering. And, anyways, I haven't written since we got out of the hospital. I've been very busy, and I'm sure Potter has been, too..." She trailed off, suddenly feeling silly and kind of irrationally upset. Even though she absolutely did _not_ want to be receiving letters from James Potter...

With a playful smirk, Lupin chuckled, "Not that busy. Unless you count being snippy and sulky."

Lily frowned. That certainly didn't sound like James. He was always so... effortlessly cheerful in his letters.

Lupin cocked her head again and listened intently for a few moments. Finally, she laughed, "Hello, Vance. Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's rude to lurk?"

The stately brunette witch emerged seamlessly from behind a potted plant near the corner of the building. After clearing the distance with just three long strides, Vance answered, "Not as rude as intentionally causing a bloody panic in the middle of my shift. We've been getting frantic messages for the last twenty minutes about a dangerous fugitive loose in the Alley." She stood over them, hands on slender hips, and scolded, "Weren't you told to stay out of sight?"

"Actually, no," Lupin chuckled, taking another huge bite of her melty sundae, "Prewett made up some stupid lie about direct sun being bad for me."

Vance gave an exaggerated eye roll, muttering, "Of course he did. Useless blighter. You're a target, and you need to lay low. Come on, I'm taking you home."

Lupin shook her head. "I'm fine, thanks," she replied, "Besides, I swore to Mac that I wouldn't move from this spot until she returned."

The venomous glare that came from Vance reminded Lily of watching the woman wrestle Remus into submission with just an expertly executed wristlock.

"Um, Lupin..."

"I'm in no mood to play around with you right now," snapped Vance, "You are putting your life in jeopardy, creating a public nuisance, and, worst of all, distracting me from important work! You're going home right this instant!"

The berserk cackle that came from Lupin reminded Lily of watching the girl torment their fellow students for the past five years with everything from her wand to her fists to her damned beater bat.

"Vance, you might not want to..."

Vance grabbed Lupin by the bicep, roughly yanking the petite girl to her feet.

Lupin snarled, head-butting the auror straight in the nose.

Vance howled.

Lupin looked to be groping for her cane, but it had clattered away in the commotion.

And Lily doubted that Lupin would've gotten a chance to use the slim white stick anyways because, although Vance's face was bloody and her brown eyes were watering, the auror had her wand out. And she did not appear to have any reservations against using it on a blind girl.

Fortunately, a large hand closed around Vance's raised wrist. "Exactly how many times in one week do you think you can talk your way out of a suspension?" asked the large lean black man to whom the hand was attached.

Lily recognized him as one of the aurors present at the police station debacle, the one who'd been in the cell with the prisoner Travers and the traitor Jugson.

Fuming, completely red-faced, Vance snapped, "Piss off, Kings. She started it."

"Fuck you! I did not!" Lupin wailed. Loudly. Almost smirking as she addressed the gathering crowd of frightened gawkers. "THEY'RE TRYING TO FRAME ME! AGAIN! SOMEONE ALERT THE BLOODY MEDIA!"

With a nearly undetectable wiggle of his broad fingers, Kingsley Shacklebolt silenced the rest of what surely would've been an epic tirade. He, too, turned toward the crowd. "Just a misunderstanding, folks," the dark-skinned man announced in a deep, commanding voice. He flashed a badge and a winning smile. "Nothing to be concerned with. Please, go about your business."

Even prodded by such charisma and authority, the crowd left in a trickle of speculative murmurs and anxious glances.

Shacklebolt regarded his partner and the teenage girl she was determined to damage. He sighed heavily.

(Lily was half sure that he was about to say _I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed_, and she really didn't think she would be able to keep a straight face.)

But, it turned out, Shacklebolt was even more skilled at wielding mother-style guilt because he didn't have to say a word.

Vance slumped her shoulders, pouting as much as a grown, rather snobbish woman could. "Kings," she whined.

"How are you feeling, Miss Lupin?" Shacklebolt inquired, releasing the silencer.

Somewhere between a smirk and a scowl, Lupin replied, "Unjustly persecuted."

There was a smile in the man's dark eyes as the blistering sun gleamed off his immaculately shaved head. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said, "And I'm also sorry, but the Potters have given strict instructions for us to keep you out of trouble while they sort out the department. For the moment, that means you should probably avoid public places. At least until we evaluate the threat level against you and until news of your exoneration becomes more widely known."

The click and dazzling white burst of a camera flash startled everyone but Mina, who immediately gave a smug laugh and turned to wave in vaguely the right direction. "Way ahead of you," the girl snickered.

xxXxx

Fear was... odd. Different. Kind of... funny.

Not funny like _this is astoundingly funny... it'll be a miracle if I manage not to wet myself laughing_. Funny like _this tastes a bit funny... oh... bugger, I think I'm going to puke..._

Because, yes, fear was a disease, and James had caught a rather severe case. Symptoms included a horrid queasy, clammy feeling that kept the young man awake at night to obsess over worst-case scenarios and jump at every shadow.

Bent over the bathroom sink, he splashed cold water on his face and then stared into his own wide, bloodshot eyes, trying to catalogue the array of satellite emotions:

Anger. Anxiety. Frustration. Hopelessness. Dread. James had previously experienced them only in fleeting dribbles throughout his life, so they had to be coming from that deep underlying _fear_.

And having his exhaustion and hypervigilance vie for attention just made everything worse. James couldn't go on that way, but he also didn't know how to make it _stop_.

He couldn't seem to _not_ be afraid. Not after seeing Sirius go completely mental and then pretend it didn't happen (refusing all attempts to talk about or explain the incident, even after promising he would). Not after seeing Mina almost die and then laugh it all off (joking about it, declaring herself the undisputed victor of the melee).

What was wrong with his friends? These were terrifying things! Things that could have killed them! Things that could very well happen again! Why was James the only person who was _terrified_? Even Remus seemed fine with what had happened, back to happily doting on the sister who (with a laugh and a joke and a backbreaking hug) had entirely forgiven him for being such a stupid prick.

James replaced his glasses and stepped out of the bathroom just in time to see Mina almost stepping off the top of the staircase. With barely a thought, he dashed down the hall and grabbed the girl around the waist.

She must've known it was him because she didn't shriek the house down; she just gave a squeal of surprise, kicking at the air.

"You have the common sense of a turnip," James growled, "Are you _trying_ to break your neck?"

Mina squirmed in his arms but allowed herself to be carried down and tossed onto the living room couch. "So dramatic," she complained, trying to straighten her wild hair but only succeeding in making it stick up in never-before-seen angles, "I know where the bloody stairs are."

"You're supposed to wake one of us when you need something," scolded James. He took a deep breath. Nothing would be accomplished if he allowed himself to get anymore worked up. "Do you need something?"

She folded her arms across her chest and muttered, "No. I was just bored. I thought I might go for a walk."

"You can't!" James snapped. He began pacing in aggravation. "You can't go places alone, Mina! You're _blind_! You don't even have your cane with you! We still don't know if Death Eaters are going to come after you for revenge!"

"Oh, please," she responded with what she probably thought was an eye roll but looked more like a mild seizure, "They're a pack of bumbling inbred morons more interested in torturing defenseless muggles than in picking and losing another fight with me."

Was she trying to annoy him, or was she really that delusional?

"Do me a favor, ok?" James replied. He wanted not to sound quite so much like he was begging. "Be _scared_. Even a little would be fine. Just do something to show that you are not in _complete_ denial of your near-death experience. Of the fact that we are all still in a great deal of danger."

Her frown softened. "Is that why you've been acting so weird?" she wondered. After receiving no reply, the girl murmured, "Oh, Prongs..." She shook her head. "I'm not the one who's in denial."

He stared at her, confounded.

"Do you know why me and Sirius and even Remus make fun of you for being such an annoying optimist all the time?" she asked, patting the seat beside her, slinging her arm around his shoulders when he sat. "It's because we learned very early on that the world is an awful, _awful_ place. Bad things will happen to good people, for no reason, and there's nothing anyone can do about it."

James got a chill and wished he were wearing more than just threadbare pajama pants.

"You never learned that," Mina continued, "Because you grew up the way kids are supposed to. In a loving home with no major tragedies. Unfortunately, the older a person gets, the more likely they are to have their idyllic bubble burst. I'm sorry you had to find out how things really are, especially the way you did. But now that you know, you can spend every second being scared of the next tragedy, hiding and looking over your shoulder, or you can do your best to live free and happy in spite of whatever's down the line. No matter what you choose, you can't change what's coming. So just... I decided a long time ago that being scared is too much work. That there's no point to it. Wasted energy, you know?"

"There's a difference between being fearless and being foolish," James argued hoarsely. He leaned into the embrace, adding, "Sunny, I love you like a sister. It would break my heart to see anything happen to you, especially something that could've been prevented."

She chuckled. "I love you like a sister, too, Prongs," the girl replied impishly.

James pinched her bare thigh. He frowned, noticing that the boxers she wore were several sizes too big, that they looked familiar.

"Ouch," she laughed, "No fair."

They huddled together for several long minutes, alone in the dark and the silence.

Finally, James asked, "How did you... I mean... not being scared?"

Mina chewed her lip thoughtfully. "It's kind of a... sliding scale, I suppose," she explained, "I had my worst nightmare nearly come true. Twice. When I was only five. After that, everything else is just... not quite as big a deal."

Of course having her brother almost killed at such a young age had left scars on the girl. Everyone knew that. But James had never before fathomed just how much the incidents had shaped her personality, how much influence they still had over her actions.

"So... as long as Remus is ok, you don't care what happens to you?" James interpreted.

"No," the girl insisted, "Um... sort of. You and the other boys are included now as well. And it's really not that I don't care about myself. I..." She got a strange look on her pretty, unusually tanned face, seeming to struggle for the right words. "Every story ends, right? And since the universe doesn't allow peeking, we just have to get on with ours and hope that we die old and gray and safe in our beds in the very, very distant future. But just because that's what I want doesn't mean... well, I'd give all that up in a second if it meant saving any one of you."

James swallowed hard, his chest tight with panic. "Please don't," he murmured, "Sunny... please."

She sighed, petting his hair like he was a fussy infant. "What do you want, Prongs?" demanded Mina, "Do you want me to promise that I won't die? Would that make you feel better?"

"It'd be a start."

More silence. Mina continued to stroke his hair. "You should owl Evans," the girl declared.

"She doesn't want to hear from me," James said. He was an optimist, not a halfwit.

But Mina just laughed, "Try anyways. Galleon says she answers."

He shook his head. "She was only writing because she was worried about Remus," the black-haired teen argued, "Now that she knows he's fine, she won't care about what I have to say."

"That sounds like fear talking," Mina said with a smirk, "C'mon, Prongs. The worst she can do is ignore you, and you are quite used to that already."

"Ouch," James chuckled.

Many more minutes passed. Mina's soothing hair strokes continued, until James was actually starting to relax. To get tired.

Two days since he'd last slept, and the lad felt like absolute shit. Achy and dizzy and circling hysteria like scummy bathwater swirling down a dark drain.

And Mina routinely went for three, would probably keep trying to top her record of seven if her fellow Marauders didn't nag and fuss so much. She went for three and still attended classes, quidditch practices, even full-moon romps without complaint, without losing a step.

James was impressed and astonished. And sad. So very sad.

"Are those my boxers?" he inquired.

She beamed, obviously proud of herself. "Mac and I went on a panty raid this afternoon."

James chuckled and closed his eyes. "Of course you did."

xxXxx

"Frank and Moody are the only ones who were suspended," Fabian Prewett explained quietly, "Alice is on medical leave until she gets her strength back. Two months is probably a good guess for her as well."

Nodding in agreement, Gideon continued to artfully tend the array of pans on the stove and added, "The rest of us are just getting shit assignments from now until when the Potters decide we've suffered sufficiently. Hence this babysitting gig."

Sirius frowned. "Ok," he said, still very, very confused after waking to find the two aurors already making themselves at home in the airy Potter kitchen (Gideon stuck halfway in the icebox; Fabian collapsed bonelessly at the table, muttering about combat pay), "But why now? We've been home mostly by ourselves since the hospital, and we've been fine on our own."

The back door opened in a crash. James spilled through in a hilarious flurry of lanky limbs and gleeful laughter; clinging to his back, beating him about the head, Mina shouted, "I said you should _owl her_! Not _invite her 'round for lunch_! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!"

Chuckling, Gideon answered, "Because _clearly_ you children need full-time supervision."

Fabian unfurled an early edition of the _the Prophet_ and handed it to Sirius. "And because of this," the muscular redhead added gruffly.

A picture of Mina grinned up at him from the front page; the girl was obviously in Diagon Alley, and she was waving brightly at the camera and standing between Vance (who was bleeding from the nose) and Evans (who seemed oddly caught between bewilderment and vague amusement). The headline said something about a ruthless, devious criminal being on the loose and the Ministry being powerless to stop her.

Sirius sighed heavily.

Wrestling on the floor now, Mina and James seemed completely oblivious to anything outside their own cursing and punching, giggling and tickling. But, actually, the sight was kind of a relief; James hadn't done much beside mope and mother-hen for days, trying to get them to talk about their _feelings_ and then sulking about it when they politely (or not so politely) declined.

"Pads!" the bespectacled teen finally greeted joyously, ignoring the fact that his glasses had become hopelessly tangled in his mess of black hair, that Mina was sitting on his stomach and trying to get a better grip on his throat, "Lily! She's coming over today!"

Unable to stop himself from snorting, Sirius responded, "Sure she is, Prongs. And the Queen summoned me for high tea."

James pouted ridiculously and then easily fought off Mina's attempts to murder him. He squeezed the girl against his chest, kissing her cheek loudly. "Thanks, love," he teased, tossing her into a seat at the table, "Lily and I might have to name our first child after you!"

"Call your damn delusion whatever the hell you want!" Mina grumbled, also pouting (though looking _much _sexier at it than James did), "Just keep that unholy ginger menace far away from me!" She relaxed a bit and took a sniff of the air. "Who's cooking?"

"That would be me," replied Gideon. He set a plate of bacon and eggs in front of the girl, playfully chiding, "And I'm also deciding whether or not I should be offended over that _unholy ginger menace_ crack. You realize my brother and I, as well as our entire family, are of the red-haired-and-awesome persuasion?"

Mina frowned, looking a bit upset. "I didn't," she murmured softly, "I've never actually seen you, remember?"

Sirius recognized a spark of mischief in his girl's eyes (despite the fact that they were covered in those dark shades).

"Could I feel your face?" she asked, "It's the only way I have to tell what people look like."

The Prewetts exchanged a wary glance. "Um," Gideon answered, obviously uncomfortable by the request and by having upset the girl, by having to upset her again by refusing, "Well... I don't think..."

Mina's bottom lip wobbled. "Ya, ok," she added quickly, "You don't have to. It's too weird. I'm sorry."

_What a pushover_, Sirius thought to himself as he watched Gideon get gut-punched by guilt and then kneel beside Mina's chair.

"Go for it, tiny," the redhead said with an obliging grin, "But no comparing me to a troll. Fabe is very sensitive about our looks."

"Right," griped the other Prewett, "_I'm_ the sensitive one. Not the princess who spent his teen years stealing makeup from Molly to hide his pimples."

"Slander!" Gideon cried with mock affront. He sat very still as Mina traced his pronounced brow and cheekbones, squished his dimpled cheeks together, poked and prodded his long freckled nose.

Then, of course, the girl reached down to his broad chest, grabbed hold of both his nipples, and twisted them viciously through his thin t-shirt.

The kitchen erupted in wails of startled pain and (mostly) guffaws of helpless laughter.

"Oh Merlin," Mina cackled, holding her stomach and struggling to breathe normally, "That was... I didn't think anyone... would fall for..._ that_... BWAHAHAHA!"

xxXxx

"You know," Gideon announced, sipping his second beer, smoking his cloying cigarettes, refusing to share either, "Everyone thought Longbottom was crazy when he put you lot on his short list."

Mina fidgeted in Sirius's lap, vowing to stuff her boyfriend full of food at every available opportunity until he was no longer so bony and uncomfortable to sit on. "I have no idea what that means," the girl replied.

She turned her face toward the sun, trying to gauge the time by the angle of its fall. Mid-afternoon. James's alternately excited and anxious babbling as he prepared for Evans's improbable visit had made the hours fly.

Gideon chuckled and shifted a bit in the other large patio chair. "It's a tradition during auror training," he explained, "Right before you start and right before you graduate, the instructors ask for a list of at least three but no more than ten people who you think would be suited to being aurors. The first list, well, no one ever looks too hard at those. The department uses the second list, which always has substantially fewer names, to scout future classes."

"The short list," Mina parroted, "Well, that's... cute."

Sirius paused in his dreamy caressing of her calf. "And we were on Frank's?" he asked skeptically.

"You _were_ Frank's," Gideon said with a lazy toss of his longish hair, "Potter, Black, and Miss Lupin. He was the only person to suggest all three of you _and_ the only person to ever suggest Lupin."

With a bright laugh, Sirius hugged her closer and declared, "I think Frankie did mention something about us being... what was it? _The right mix of clever and insane_?"

"A born salesman, that one," Mina responded, growing bored with the story.

But Gideon continued with it anyways, declaring, "Normally, we get a lot of overlap on the names, and those are the people who we scout and the people who get highest priority when their applications show up. Auror cadets tend to suggest friends they know are interested, good students, straight-and-narrow types. But you three... you weren't on Longbottom's first list at all, and you really don't fit the mold. It was kind of a joke for a while. Fabe and I may have suggested that Longbottom had developed Stockholm Syndrome after too many years torture."

"We _liked_ Frank," insisted Mina, "We still do. He's just... fun."

Laughing, clicking the lighter he had vehemently denied stealing from his brother not quite twenty minutes earlier, Gideon responded, "I know. Look, all I was trying to say is that the rest of us are starting to see what he sees. And, anyways, something to think about. You—you tiny, horrible minx—you could probably get into training on your acting abilities alone, never mind the fact that you already have a successful undercover under your belt."

"Ya, I was successfully blinded while impersonating a drug dealer," Mina said, futilely rolling her eyes, "Big deal."

"SHE'S GOING TO BE HERE ANY MINUTE!"

James might as well have set off a Filibuster right next to her ear.

(The downside of relying on Animagus senses: everything was so much _more_ than normal.)

Mina curled away from the noise, already feeling a headache coming on as she hid against Sirius's broad chest. "Fucking hell," the girl muttered, "He is _shrill_."

Sirius's answering laugh rumbled beneath her as his strong arms tightened. "One more thing they have in common," the teen commented.

xxXxx

_What am I doing?_ Lily asked herself for probably the hundredth time since the third (and final) time she drafted the response. It was a stupid idea to go, and if her momentary lapse of judgment ended in the disaster she expected, then at least her day would have been consistently miserable.

She thought about how it started. About Potter's affectionate and well-behaved owl perched in her bedroom window, Potter's rambling but oh-so-charming letter, Potter's invitation to come over for a totally laidback group lunch. A reunion of sorts for all the victims of their recent shared trauma.

_Dear James,_

_I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. I'm glad to hear that you and your friends are feeling better as well._

_Thank you for the offer, but_

And then Petunia had burst into the room, railing about her curling iron going on the fritz, cursing Lily for, of course, being entirely responsible for the electrical malfunction.

Lily had been so startled that she spilled ink all over the parchment. After enduring fifteen minutes of her sister's shouting, the redhead needed to start a new letter.

_Dear James,_

_I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. I'm glad to hear that you and your friends are feeling better as well._

_Thank you for the offer, but I'm supposed to go shopping with my mum today. Maybe some other_

Petunia made a return visit and threw another nearly incoherent tantrum. This time Lily was accused of trying to kill her sister because the older girl had found not one but _two _spiders in her bedroom that morning. Clearly, it was evidence of witchcraft.

Their mother had to soothe Petunia with the promise of a shopping trip. Lily was, of course, not invited. Or uninvited, she supposed. But there was no point trying to calm Petunia with a new dress if Lily was anywhere in the vicinity.

The half-finished letter took the brunt of the girl's frustration. Frustration with her sister for being a selfish, ignorant, bigoted cow. With her parents for tolerating and even rewarding the behavior instead of putting an end to it, instead of, just once, snapping, _Petunia, for god's sake, if you'd stop being irrational and hateful for a single moment, you might be able to see that your sister still, inexplicably, loves you. Why does the rest even matter?_

And, to make matters worse, Lily's had the sudden, intense desire to talk to Severus. She was about to jump up and find him before she remembered. Remembered everything. And the hole in her life where her best friend used to be sharpened to an actual physical _ache_.

Lily spent several long minutes just staring at the crumpled, shredded parchment.

Then she took a deep breath, took out a fresh, clean scroll, and began to write again.

_Dear James,_

_I'm doing fine, thank you for asking. I'm glad to hear that you and your friends are feeling better as well._

_Thank you for the offer. I would be delighted to come over for lunch. If, of course, you can guarantee that Lupin behaves. The last thing I need today is a black eye._

_Is one o'clock alright? Let me know and send me the floo details._

_See you later,_

_Lily._

"Really," the redhead whispered to herself, eyes closed so that she didn't have to watch the dizzying progression of random grates rushing past, "What the hell am I doing?"

She tumbled out of the Potter hearth, into the cheery Potter living room, and landed on her behind. The girl barely had time to make sure that her clothes were still on straight and to admire the cozy but classy, definitely red-themed décor when she heard, "KILL IT! KILL IT! KIIILLLL IIIIITTTT!"

A black-and-white ball of fluff dove her into her lap and cowered miserably.

"Prewett! Stop, you moron!" Black shouted, grappling with the wand-wielding auror in the doorway, nearly taking out an entire wall of neatly framed family photographs, "That's Monty! He's my _pet_!"

Peering down at the trembling little thing, Lily found herself completely unable to remember why the name Monty sounded so familiar...

Then she saw the stripe down the creature's sleek back and bushy tail.

Oh. Right. The skunk.

Leave it to the Marauders to make something as simple as pet ownership into a ludicrous, potentially dangerous spectacle. God, every single thing they did always had to be completely absurd.

Lily held Monty at arm's length, feeling quite grateful when Lupin shoved her way into the room and snatched the animal away.

"Poor little guy," the girl cooed, cuddling the quivering ball of fur against her chest, "Shhh. It's ok. We won't let any ginger jackarses hurt you." Not a trace of ire in her expression or voice. No hint of whether she was talking about just Prewett or if Lily was included in the less than generous description.

"That cannot be your pet," Prewett insisted. He pouted quite ridiculously, especially for a grown man whose job it was to chase evil wizards. "That is a _skunk_."

Glaring as best she could with her unfocused blind eyes, Lupin snapped, "He's a rescue animal. He was taken from a lab that was shut down for dark magic and animal rights violations. The Menagerie took him in, but he wasn't doing well there, so I adopted him and gave him to Sirius for Christmas. Monty is sweet. And he doesn't spray, if that's what you're all bothered about. The lab removed his little sprayers, which I'm sure was very traumatic and meant that he couldn't ever be released into the wild."

So... they weren't just being bizarre for no reason? Lupin had taken in an abused creature and persuaded her friend to love it? That was...

What was that?

Lily cleared her throat, muttering, "Well, um... that was very... kind of you."

Lupin's upper lip curled up into an entirely unbecoming sneer "James is in the kitchen," the girl spat, stomping away up the staircase, only stumbling once before Black bounded over to assist.

Monty climbed from Lupin to Black, wrapping around the boy's neck like some sort of hideous scarf before the threesome disappeared upstairs.

Sighing, the Prewett (Lily couldn't tell which one) helped her to her feet. "Sorry," he grunted, "Blasted beast took me by surprise."

"And Fabe has this thing about small furry creatures sneaking up on him while he's on the toilet," the other Prewett (Gideon apparently) interrupted with a wide, mocking girn.

"Well, now I do," Fabian complained, turning a bit pink as he hurriedly zipped and buttoned his trousers.

Potter appeared next, smiling happily and ruffling his outrageous black hair. "Hi, Evans," the young man greeted, "I'm so glad you could make it."

For some unfathomable, probably very stupid reason, Lily felt herself blush. "Yes," she answered, "Me, too. Thank you for the invitation. I really needed to get out of the house today."

Smile somewhat faltering, Potter answered, "Oh, I'm sorry. Is your sister still being a pain?"

Lily shrugged.

"Well, I'm sure we can do something fun to cheer you up," the skinny bespectacled boy insisted. As the aurors lumbered off, presumably to fetch the rest of the house's residents for lunch, James motioned for Lily to follow him, adding, "Remus and Mary have been spending a lot of time flying... um, but I guess that's not really your favorite activity."

Shrugging again, Lily peered at the platter of artfully cut sandwiches and the huge bowls of fruit and salad and crisps. "I like flying alright," she said, "I just don't get a lot of opportunity to practice." Just because the girl didn't have hours and hours to spend soaring through the air without a care didn't mean that she didn't find the activity thrilling.

James beamed. "And with the Prewetts here," he proclaimed, "We might actually have enough people for a scrimmage!"

His excitement was just plain... infectious. In the way that only pure joy could be.

Lily found herself giggling, sitting gratefully in the chair that the young man gallantly pulled out for her. "That sounds lovely," she said.

James gave another broad smile, his hands toying nervously with the buttons of his fitted white collar shirt. He sat beside her and declared, "I didn't know what kind of food you'd like-"

"This looks delicious," Lily interrupted. Really, had Potter always been so... sweet?

His answering smirk did very strange things to her stomach.

xxXxx

Following the deep dark drum beat and echoing wail of guitar, James paused in Sirius's doorway. And he listened for a moment to the man inside the record player singing about the rain.

_Crying won't help you._

_Praying won't do you no good._

He thought it was kind of strange just how similar that idea was to the ones Mina had shared with him the night before. Only, to hear her tell it, the girl had come to the profound, depressing realization when she was barely out of diapers.

She made him so sad sometimes. Because James wanted little else from his life than to find love and to see all his friends happy. But with Mina, happiness often seemed to be just out of her grasp. More often, she seemed to forget to even make the reach.

Sirius finally noticed the extra presence, picking his head up to hiss, "Shhh."

And that's when James noticed that Mina's wasn't just stretched beside Sirius in the wide bed (as James had found them many times during the previous days, laughing and bantering and talking quietly, exchanging smoldering grins that made James want to giggle like a first-year and then dip his brain in bleach).

This time, Mina had curled up against Sirius, using his shoulder as a pillow, and she'd fallen asleep with her arm draped across his chest.

Oh. Well. That was just... too damn adorable...

James dashed away and returned with the camera he'd stolen off Snape (that he was bloody well keeping as repayment for the slimy git having spawned an unbelievably stressful summer).

Sirius growled warningly but didn't move a muscle (couldn't without risking disturbing his girl or the ball of skunk settled on his stomach).

James went through half a roll of film and then skipped brightly back to lunch. "They're fine," he reported to Mina's fretful twin, "She's _asleep_."

Smiling with relief, Remus answered, "Perfect. She's been abnormally difficult about taking her Draught."

Beside him, Mary rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it has something to do with being spiked by it little over a week ago," the dark-haired keeper reported wisely, "And as long as she's not on the loose unaccompanied. She nearly got hit by a bus _and_ a taxi yesterday. And then she asked this absolutely spiteful-looking woman about the monkey in her pram."

"You saw a monkey in a pram?" James chirped eagerly. What he wouldn't give for a picture of that.

Everyone loves a monkey.

But Mary shook her head and declared, "It was a baby in need of a new nappy. Merlin, only Mina could be struck blind and somehow find herself in _more_ potential fistfights than usual."

They shared a good laugh, munching through the last of the lunch buffet and turning to talk of how they were going to spend their afternoon.

The Prewetts had brooms, and Mary had an extra for Lily, so a three-on-three scrimmage turned out to be possible after all.

But they never got that far.

The Prewetts were much too interested in divebombing and tackling and cursing at each other to even get through the choosing of teams. (James honestly didn't know what his parents had been thinking when they sent the rowdy redheads to "supervise.") (But, as Remus kept noting, at least they were better than Vance.)

Remus and Mary used the distraction to go right off into some chase game, whirling around the backyard in an aerial ballet of lighthearted mirth. Mary was obviously the more skilled flier, but Remus didn't appear too upset about the view from second place.

Which left James with Lily, who had been quiet during lunch, who obviously felt like the odd-man-out, who could barely meet his gaze. Who seemed _sad_. James didn't like people to be sad.

"So, no scrimmage, I suppose," the lad joked, in what he hoped was a neutral yet soothing tone, "Want to play catch? Or we could just have a nice fly?"

Lily turned her faraway stare from the grass to the spun-sugar clouds. And she smiled, lips curling hesitantly upward. Gleaming green eyes alight. "Not sure I'm actually coordinated enough to play catch," the redhead murmured, "But a fly sounds wonderful." Without another word, she made a running start, threw herself onto the broom, and took off into the air.

James paused for a moment to listen to her blissful, rather surprising whoop and to admire her technique... and her hair. Her lovely, lovely hair streaming behind her like the tail of a comet.

And then he joined her in the sky.

xxxxxxxxxx

What is this? Could it be? Regular updates all in a row? *Gasp* It's a miracle!

Anyways, want to hear a secret? I am actually a few chapters ahead in this story for once! So the deal is that if I get more than ten reviews on this chapter, then I'll post the next one earlier than two weeks. Deal? Alrighty :)


	27. Hic Sunt Leones

Part 27 – Hic Sunt Leones

Mina spent most of the morning of September 1st, 1976, squawking and flailing and trying to remember that smacking aurors was generally frowned upon.

Even if they were being soppy dolts and taking advantage of her blindness in order to assault her with surprise hugs at all available opportunities.

"Mr. P," the girl groaned, off her feet again and getting smothered in the lanky old man's ridiculously long arms, "Can't breathe."

Mr. Potter's warm, minty chuckle continued to hum through Mina's body even after the lovable auror finally placed her back on the ground. "Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured, dropping a kiss onto the top of her head, "We're just going to miss you kids. Try to stay out of trouble this year, alright? I don't want to receive any owls saying you're back in the Hospital Wing."

Mina pictured his hectic white hair, his kind, fatherly smile, and his loud ties. And she longed for her eyes to choose that moment to finally, _finally_ start working again.

Of course, they did not.

"We always do our best to stay out of there," the girl reported, "The nurse is a sadist."

"Madame Mary?" Gideon interrupted, "I remember her. You know what the trick is to getting on her good side?"

With a laugh, Mina answered, "A new face, identity, and personality?"

Gideon slung an immense arm around her shoulders and tugged the girl into a playful headlock. "Nah," he said, "Madame enjoys blood-flavored lollipops. Bribe her with a box every once in awhile, and you can expect the royal treatment."

There was silence. And then Remus piped up, "That is... _unbelievably_ disturbing."

"And true," Frank awkwardly confessed, "The number of times you lot landed me in there, I kept her in blood pops for three years."

"Is it even legal?" asked James (in between his mother's tearful kisses), "Y'know, for a nurse to be fond of the taste of blood?"

"It's certainly cause for concern," Sirius contributed, sounding like he was still trying to squirm out of Alice's small but insistent embrace.

"And it also explains a few things," muttered Mina.

A collective shiver plagued the four Marauders.

But then (thanks be to Morgana's mystical minge) Remus announced, "We'd better get going if we want our first choice of compartments."

"Alright, alright," Mrs. Potter sighed, making the circuit one last time to squeeze the stuffing out of every last one of them. (The woman was a bit elderly and rather petite, but she had quite the grip on her.) "Be good," she ordered, "And be _safe_."

_Safe_, Mina thought to herself, _Right. Is that still an option?_

xxXxx

"Are they still there?" Mina wondered, lounging contentedly between her brother and boyfriend.

Sirius shifted beside her, sneaking a glimpse out the window. "Ya," he reported, "Skulking near the pillar, pretending not to be watching us. Prongs, if your parents were going to assign stalkers, then they might've picked ones with a little more stealth."

On the opposite seat, James ran his calloused fingers through the perpetual mess on his head and reported, "The Prewetts are alright. And, anyways, we'll be rid of them just as soon as the train starts. I heard them talking about plans to see their sister this afternoon, so at least they won't be following all the way to Hogwarts."

Mina snorted, "Can you imagine those two accompanying us to class every day?"

"No," Remus said with an eye roll obvious even to a blind girl, "Well, actually, yes. And I'm sure they would be the only people in the history of the school to end up in detention six years after graduating."

Still apparently watching out the window, Sirius declared, "Oi, Mary and Pete just came through. Brilliant."

Mina heard James's mouth open, and she knew exactly what he wanted to ask. Or, rather, who he wanted to ask about. But, surprisingly, the young man didn't mention a single word about his red-haired obsession, settling back with an enigmatic sigh.

A troublesome development.

Excited greetings and inane chatter filled the remainder of their time at the station. Mostly Mary showed off pictures of the new baby cousin she'd been at home visiting for the last week of the holiday.

Oh, and Sirius clamped his hands around Mina's sensitive ears the second before each piercing train whistle.

Such a prince.

Soon, they were on their way, off for another year of who the hell knew.

Mina missed staring at the lush countryside as it zoomed past, missed observing the proud but grudging look in her brother's eye when he stomped off for the prefect meeting. She even missed watching Pete gorge himself on sweets and James jump hopefully any time anything red walked past.

Because, in all likelihood, they were things she would never see again.

_"Don't worry your little pretty head about it," Gideon had said late the night before, "Those quacks at Mungo's don't know squat."_

_"They said I would be better by now," was Mina's dejected reply, "And I'm not, so-"_

_"So they got it wrong," the looming auror interrupted. He stole a bite from her bowl of ice cream, laughing as he added, "Honestly. An injury like yours, retinal burns, it's all guesswork. They can't give you an exact timetable, so they just pretend. They pick a random window. You're taking a bit longer, and that's fine. Fabe and I expected it. You did just go through a few major traumas all in a row."_

_Wrinkling her nose, Mina demanded, "What's that got to do with anything?"_

_Gideon sighed, suddenly addressing her as if she were a slow child, "The human body can only do so much healing at a time, even with magic. And the fact that you refuse to sleep regularly doesn't help. Sleep is very rejuvenating."_

_"It's a waste of my bloody time," she grumbled, thumping the back of the auror's hand with the back of her spoon when he tried to steal another mouthful of sundae._

_"Ungrateful brat," he chuckled, "Give yourself a few good nights of rest at Hogwarts. It's built on enchanted land. That sort of thing has been known to speed healing as well."_

The click and slide of the opening door pulled Mina abruptly from her daydream. But that was perfectly alright. Especially if it meant that Remus had returned-

But... no. Not Remus. The creature in the doorway was much too miniature. And if the shuddering gasps and salty tang filling the air were any indication, it was about three seconds from bursting into tears.

xxXxx

"Er," Sirius greeted cautiously, "Hello?"

Comforting crying girls was really not his forte.

Comforting teeny tiny crying girls who very well might've been china dolls come to life was probably a tall order for any bloke with a half a heart.

The little thing in the doorway quivered, her darling black ringlets framing her pale face, her wide blue eyes already leaking all over her plump pink cheeks. She sniffled, button nose wrinkling delicately above her despondent pout. "Can I sit here?" she squeaked, sounding like a cross between a chipmunk and a kitten

(The way Mina recoiled, Sirius guessed that his beloved had picked up an underlying hint of Horntail.)

No one reacted quickly enough to answer, and, whatever the minuscule girl creature was, it took that as invitation to enter. It set down its battered little suitcase and then climbed onto the nearest seat (thankfully between James and the door) to continue its miserable sniffles.

Those Marauders with remaining sight exchanged panicky glances. Mina began groping for the window latch.

"Are you alright, love?" James finally inquired, thankfully throwing himself on the wee weepy grenade.

Of course, in the next moment Sirius knew that _grenade_ was not an accurate assessment; he should've gone with _pocket-sized dam about to burst_, because that's exactly what she did.

"Ms. Siskin never let me see the second half of the letter," the girl blubbered, suddenly wailing wretchedly, in a way that tugged at something deep and primal inside Sirius's gut, "Not until I got on the train. I didn't bring anything I was supposed to because I didn't know I needed supplies, and I don't _have_ any. And I'm going to be the only one, and I'm going to be kicked out already, and I don't want to go back!"

They stared at her, sifting through the garbled explanation.

"Uh," Peter began, "So... you didn't buy books or anything?"

Trembling, breaking into a renewed wave of helpless bawling, the girl fidgeted with the hem of her threadbare blue pinafore dress. She stammered, "I-I didn't know! And I don't know where to get them! And I don't have any money!"

Beside him, Sirius felt Mina breathe a sigh of relief. "Is that all?" she laughed.

The tiny girl's eyes grew so big that they threatened to engulf her entire head. And then the poor creature began to sob in earnest.

The other Marauders gaped at Mina, stunned. Reputation aside, she generally wasn't capable of callousness when faced with small, cuddly, and/or distraught creatures. And whatever this thing was (overgrown pixie or half-sized first-year), it quite clearly fit all three categories.

"Oh, Calypso's warty tits," Mina grumbled, awfully close to a moment of panic herself, "I didn't mean it like that! I just meant- look, there's no reason to cry, ok? We can easily get you most of what you need! And you won't be kicked out for not having the rest! I'm sure your Head of House will arrange it all! There's a whole weekend before classes even start!"

With a delicate whimper, the little girl creature swiped impossibly petite fingers at the wetness cascading down her cheeks and chin. "R-Really?" she hiccupped.

Another sigh of relief from Mina. "Yes," the sandy-haired witch confirmed with a weak grin, "So don't worry... Um, what's your name?"

The tiny thing smiled hesitantly, batting cartoonishly long lashes. "Tia."

Sirius was once again convinced that the girl creature had somehow escaped the safety of a dollhouse, at the very least the pages of a fairytale.

Nodding resolutely, Mina declared, "Well, it's nice to meet you, Tia. I'm Mina, and these are Sirius, James, and Peter. They're going to help you go through my trunk and find some of my old uniforms and robes. Mary can fit them for you-" she paused, looking around the compartment without actually looking around the compartment before demanding, "Where's Mac?"

"She left to talk to Dorcas," explained Peter.

"Alright then," Mina continued, once again addressing the tiny girl creature, "Well, when our friend Mary gets back, she'll fit them. She's aces at tailoring charms."

"Magic?" Tia asked, sniffling brightly. So... probably a muggleborn then...

Mina nodded. She appeared to be deep in thought. "My brother practically has a library in his trunk," she continued, "And I'm sure he saved all our first-year books, so that's not a problem... what else is on the list?"

Carefully, Tia took the neatly folded letter out of her pocket. From the reverence with which she handled the parchment, Sirius would've thought it was the alchemical formula for eternal life and wealth. "A pointy hat," the tiny creature read, "And a winter cloak, and protective gloves, and a wand, and a cauldron, and a telescope, and phials, and scales." She pouted at them, eyes looking quite glassy once more. "That's an awful lot-"

"I've got a hat," chimed Peter, already diving into his own trunk, "I've always hated the bloody thing. I never wear it. It's yours."

Smirking triumphantly, James declared, "I actually still have a cloak I grew out of ages ago. It'll probably work for you, love."

"I have some gloves I grew out of, too," Sirius soothed, "And I wouldn't worry about the rest. There's extra equipment in the all classrooms. Stuff gets broken so often that the professors keep tons on hand. And, anyways, you can always borrow from us."

Mina nodded again, beaming at her friends. "As for a wand," she said, "I'm sure someone will take you to get one. That's everything, right? Do you feel better?"

Sirius couldn't help being a bit sad that Mina missed seeing the million-galleon grin blooming on the tiny girl creature's sweet little face.

xxXxx

Lily had been dying to ask but didn't get the opportunity until after the prefect meeting. "So... this 'Marauder Feast,'" she began, sending a sideways glance at her companion, "What exactly is it?"

"A tradition of ours," Remus chuckled, "Mina steals everything in the icebox and our grandmother's best set of plates and silverware, and Sirius steals his mother's jewelry box. Then we eat leftovers on fancy china while wearing as much jewelry as we can fit on ourselves. The goal has always been wear everything in the jewelry box, but not enough of us have pierced ears."

Lily stared at her friend. She hadn't figured him for such absurdity.

And Remus seemed to know what she was thinking because he turned a bit pink and laughed, "I know it sounds weird, but it really is a lot of fun. And James bribed Mina with... well, I decided I didn't want to know. Presumably some sort of contraband. But she finally agreed that he could invite you, and he's really excited."

Surprisingly, Lily was excited, too. The last few weeks of summer had been a haze of anger and frustration and sorrow as her sister's attacks had grown more and more hurtful. As her former best friend's absence became more and more devastating. The only bright spots were letters from Potter.

He just... had a knack for cheering her up.

Of course, now that they were back in school, Lily was also worried that he would turn out to be a much better friend on paper than he was in person. Because that had to be it, right? She hadn't spent the last five years loathing the sight of him on principle alone. He usually acted like an insufferable toerag, and actions speak much louder than words.

"I... suppose it will be a novel experience," the girl commented diplomatically, following Remus the last few steps toward the correct compartment.

The door slid open to reveal a tiny girl hanging upside-down in the center of the room. The girl's flushed face was streaked with tear tracks, and Potter was the only one with his wand out, laughing with the others as he held her aloft.

"_James Potter_!" Lily cried, appalled at him and at herself for believing he could change, "Torturing first-years?! What the bloody hell is wrong with you?! Let her down right this instant!"

His head snapped around, hazel eyes wide behind thick specs, black hair in infuriating disarray. "Evans," the young man yelped in surprise, immediately looking guilty, "I wasn't-"

"I don't care what your excuse is this time!" she snarled, "I don't want to hear it! Just put that girl down!"

James obeyed with a shamefaced twitch of his wand.

Immediately, Lily grabbed the disheveled victim's hand and dragged her out of the harmful environment. _Bloody Potter_, the redhead mentally griped, _Should've known. He's just the same as ever. Nasty, egotistical, irritating fiend-_

An insistent tugging brought Lily out of her rant. She glanced down at the source to find the little girl trying desperately to fight the tight grip.

"No!" whined the small black-haired child, "I don't want to go! I want to see more magic! It was fun!"

Lily stopped, already several doors away from the Zone of Insanity, and kneeled beside her traumatized charge. "It's ok," she soothed, "It's all over now. I won't let them bully you anymore-"

"No!" the girl wailed once again, fidgeting more adamantly and stomping her tiny feet, "They didn't bully me! They helped me! They're _fun_! Let _gooooo_!"

Unable to believe what she was hearing, Lily briefly wondered how long Stockholm Syndrome took to set in and whether or not the school nurse was qualified to treat it.

But then the small girl managed to escape, and she happily skipped straight back toward the Marauders.

Most of whom had stuck their heads out the door and were watching the scene with what could only be described as insulted amusement.

"Alright, Tia?" Black chuckled, ruffling the girl's sleek ringlets.

She nodded and latched onto Potter's hip, grinning up at him and pleading, "Can I see more magic? I liked it! You weren't bullying me. I was having lots of fun. Promise."

Potter spared Lily a sad glance before smiling down at his young admirer. "Sure," he agreed, "Want to help me turn Pete's eyebrows pink?"

"Ya!" the girl giggled.

And then they were gone.

Lily had no idea what had just happened, but she was suddenly starting to feel like an absolute arse...

xxXxx

Mina had assumed that Evans's presence at the Marauder Feast would dampen the occasion. However, it turned out that the redhead's absence did more harm.

It was one thing when Evans refused to attend; it was another when she accepted and then blew off the invitation.

James definitely hadn't been in the best of spirits, moping and sighing wretchedly in between bouts of faux joviality.

Obnoxious ginger twat.

Although, if Mina had to be fair, the annoying prefect wasn't the only change that had weighed heavily on the Feast.

The leftovers were from the Potter icebox, not the Lupin one, which had been empty since the year before, since Grandmother had passed. Mina had felt the need to ask politely if she could take food from Mr. and Mrs. Potter and had received willing permission. And, although that was very sweet of them, stolen food definitely tasted better.

And even stealing the plates wasn't technically _stealing the plates_ anymore since Mina and Remus now owned them, as well as all the other Lupin heirlooms. The tablecloth, the candlesticks, the crystal goblets. Grandmother had left them everything, and Mina was torn by that. On the one hand, it was very generous; on the other, the crafty old bat knew how much the annual pillage meant to Mina, and maybe the inheritance was one last _fuck you, I win_. (Mina wouldn't put it past her cranky grandmother, who, Remus insisted, the girl took after.)

Mrs. Black's jewelry was still a good bit of theft, but each weighty gem reminded Mina of how Sirius had come to be in permanent possession of the baubles, of having seen his malnourished face and his horribly beaten body just days after the boy's desperate escape from and daring final burglary of his abusive home.

James made sure to take pictures during the meal so that Mina, once she regained her sight, could enjoy seeing the five Marauders plus Mary and Tia decked out in finery. But Mina really didn't know if she'd want to look; she suspected that a lot of the smiles would be forced.

"Oi, Tia," James laughed, sending the spritely girl off with the last of the third round of hugs, "Mind yourself in the boats, ya? Don't be the unlucky kid who falls in. There's always one. We'll see you up there."

The girl chirped another collective goodbye and then went skipping across the Hogsmeade platform to join her yearmates.

Mina had never before met someone who chose to skip everywhere rather than walk. But, then again, she also couldn't imagine Tia walking like a normal person. The tiny orphan was just too... bright. Too full of delight and wonder. (Despite having been abandoned at the station by some mad old cow of a caretaker who couldn't even be bothered to properly outfit her for school.)

Further musings were cutoff abruptly as Mina tripped over her shoelaces. "Hang on," she said, bending down amidst the boisterous crowd.

"Let me do that for you, Sunshine," Sirius offered.

Mina glared (in what she hoped was the right direction) and snapped, "I can tie my own bloody laces, Pads. Just give me a minute."

She wasn't a damn invalid. And if she really had been blinded for life, then she was going to need to learn how to do things for herself anyways.

"Hi, Sirius," cooed a ditzy, painfully high-pitched female voice.

Mina assumed that it was attached to the cloud of cheap perfume suddenly writhing unpleasantly in her nostrils.

"Er," Sirius responded, backing up a step, "Hi... Edith?"

"Emily," the girl whined, "Emily Croft." She followed his step, probably trying to sound coy but instead accomplishing my-brain's-only-purpose-is-to-keep-my-skull-from-c aving-in. "You don't remember me?" she prodded.

"Uh... no. Not really. Sorry." Not a hint of guile.

Mina finished finessing her shoelaces into proper order but decided to stay crouched, to see (metaphorically) where the conversation was going.

Emily Croft sighed, announcing, "I'm a year behind you. Ravenclaw... maybe you'll remember me from your third year, in the greenhouses? After you broke up with that Hufflepuff tart? Before you got together with Maeve Mitchell and Janet North?"

_I'm dating a slut_, Mina thought, snickering as she imagined the discomfort and confusion on her boyfriend's handsome face.

Mina could hear her brother stifling laughter.

"Well," Sirius hastily announced, "I'm sure it was... uh... lovely. But we have to be going-"

"I was so sorry to hear about your... _girlfriend_," Emily Croft interrupted, spitting that last word like it left a bad taste, "It must be very difficult for you, knowing that she's finally been locked up. But you mustn't blame yourself, or hold onto something that wasn't meant to be."

Really? After two articles in _the Prophet_, one of them rather inaccurate but on the front page and _at least_ clear about the fact that she was exonerated and on the loose, people still thought Mina was a convict?

Remus snorted and was lost to a fit of giggles.

Sirius didn't seem to have a response at all.

"If you ever need someone to talk to," said Emily Croft, "I'm here for you, Sirius. I'm an excellent listener, and I'm sure I can take your mind off it."

Mina imagined an attempt at a sultry come-hither glance, and it must've really been impressive judging by the way Remus utterly cracked up.

_I have to stop this_, the girl decided, _Moony is going to puncture a lung._

She stood abruptly, wrapping her arm through Sirius's. "Hi, Emily Croft," Mina greeted, with what Remus referred to as her oral-hygeine-is-important-so-I'm-going-to-floss-wi th-your-tendons smile. "If your listening skills are really that good," she declared, "Then you might want to work on literacy and observation next."

For a brief moment, Mina stayed to savor the other girl's bewildered silence, the smell of fear oozing out of her every pore.

Then, Mina cheerfully announced, "Well, c'mon, lads. No sense hanging around here waiting for our IQs to plummet. We have a sorting to attend."

There was a note of relief, of eternal gratitude in Sirius's deep voice as he agreed, "Ya, definitely. Let's go." He was already tugging Mina toward the carriages when he thought to politely add, "Uh, nice to see you, Elizabeth."

"_Emily_!"

And that was the moment when Mina joined her brother in laughter.

xxXxx

Admittedly, watching Remus snicker and imitate Sirius's look of mortified bafflement was _very_ entertaining. As was watching Mina pretend that she wasn't allowing, encouraging, and enjoying her brother's taunts.

But James's heart wasn't in it. In fact, if he could've gotten away with missing the sorting and the feast and going up to bed to brood in private, then he definitely would've.

Because he really, really should've known better. His summer correspondence with Lily had been so great. However, after the Snape incident, she was bound to be sensitive about seeing people hung in the air by their ankles. But James didn't even think of that until after. At the time, he'd just been so thrilled to make Tia smile, to introduce her to the astonishing world of magic. And he was quite good at that spell.

It was all his fault. He was so bloody stupid. No wonder Evans couldn't stand to be around him.

His longwinded internal rebuke took the lad through the entirety of the Sorting Hat's song and a good chunk of the actual sorting. His attention turned outward again in the middle of the Fs.

"_Flint, Jason_."

"Y'think that's what's-his-name's little brother?" Mina mused, looking bored as she reclined against Sirius's shoulder. "The scrawny bloke with the huge teeth? Must be a seventh-year by now."

Sirius smirked, watching his girl with an adoring expression she would've never tolerated in public had she actually been able to see. "Nereus Flint?" he offered, "Ya, probably. Looks like a smaller version. Slytherin for sure."

"_SLYTHERIN_!"

"Told you."

"Who was arguing?"

"_Hendry, Bronwyn_."

James did not have the energy to investigate the appearance of Hendry, Bronwyn, who was quite quickly declared a Hufflepuff.

"_Hirsch, Devorah_."

"Ravenclaw," Mina guessed, "I'll put a galleon on it."

"Looks more like a Slytherin," Peter claimed, "She's got the crazy eyes."

Laughing, Mina declared, "And she also smells like a bookstore."

"_RAVENCLAW_!"

Peter began to sulk. "No fair."

"Cry me a river and give me a galleon."

"_Irving, Ruth_."

"Wow, she's a first-year?" Sirius whispered, "She's two heads taller than the rest!"

"_RAVENCLAW_!"

James looked up in time to see a lanky blonde girl tripping toward the appropriate table, toward a hospitable burst of applause.

"_Jones, Hestia_."

Their tiny companion from the train courteously shoved through the crowd and went skipping eagerly down the aisle.

Ears cocked, Mina grinned and asked, "Is that our Tia?"

"Sure is," chuckled Sirius. Then he frowned a bit. "Shit. I don't think we ever told her what house we were."

The petite girl in Mina's hand-me-down uniform had a bit of trouble actually climbing onto the stool. She was just so _small_. Someone, somewhere laughed, and that someone almost immediately fell to the floor with a screech of pain.

The resulting confusion allowed someone, somewhere the opportunity to discreetly conjure a stepping stool for little Tia.

"Prick," Mina grumbled, tucking her wand away. She turned back to her boyfriend and complained, "How could we have forgotten? What if she ends up-"

"_GRYFFINDOR_!"

None of the Marauders spared a thought before jumping to their feet and cheering their hearts out, producing a celebration so loud and boisterous that McGonagall actually had to shush them.

Practically glowing, Tia skipped right over.

James gave her a boost onto the bench, settling the elated child between himself and Mary.

"Congratulations," the dark-haired keeper giggled, glancing slyly across the table at Remus.

Tia smiled so wide that James would've sworn she had double the normal number of teeth. "Thanks," the girl declared proudly.

Then James noticed the other new Gryffs, the wide-eyed, terrified boy and girl huddled at the very front of the table. "Tia," he murmured, "You know we'd love for you to sit with us, but your yearmates seem a bit scared. Think you can go keep them company?"

Tia took a look, her gaze melting. "Oh, of course!" she declared, already clambering up off the bench, "I should go tell them how nice everyone is!" Once she had both feet in the aisle, she paused again, asking, "I'll see you later, won't I?"

"Definitely," Mina declared, "In fact, we'll walk you and your new friends up to the Tower."

Radiating happiness, Tia spared them one more ecstatic grin and then went skipping toward the other new Gryffs. She was just in time to greet Kent, Donovan, as he joined the group.

"She is _absolutely precious_," Mary sighed, "I'm so glad she stumbled into your compartment."

Pinking up (as he tended to do lately when Mary spoke), Remus answered, "It really was a stroke of luck. We'll have to remember to tell McGonagall that she needs to get a wand."

Mina laughed evilly. "Or," she whispered, "We can take her to get one ourselves..."

xxXxx

"Why is Carmine Brown glaring at us?"

"He probably thinks we're going to harass his sister."

"He has a sister?"

"One of our new first-years. The one with the ridiculous name..."

"Indigo."

"And go fuck yourself, too."

"No, that's her name. Indigo Brown."

"Ha... _really_?"

"Really. They must have _creative_ parents."

Lily tried not to sigh too audibly as she listened to the moronic exchange. Getting James Potter alone for an apology was proving to be unreasonably complicated. The Marauders were always together, at the very least in pairs. And asking forgiveness for her meltdown on the train was going to be humiliating enough without having to perform in front of an audience of born hecklers.

But Lily felt awful about yelling at him; she knew that apologizing was the only way to go.

"Oi! Tia!"

Peering around the corner, Lily watched the tiny first-year skip out of the Great Hall and throw herself at Potter for an elated hug.

"That was _wonderful_!" the girl gushed, "I've never seen so much food in all my life! And it was so _yummy_! And I got to eat as much as I wanted! Ms. Siskin never lets me have seconds!"

Chuckling, Remus declared, "Well, you can always have as much as you want here."

"Introduce us to your friends, love," Potter prompted. He smiled genially at the reluctant faction trailing behind Tia.

Tia turned, pointing out each wide-eyed child, "Well, that's Clara, and Donovan, and Indigo, and Max, and Wilbur, and Adorinda. Guys, these are my friends from the train!"

The first-years stared. A little boy (Lily thought she remembered him as being announced McKinnon, Maxwell) hesitantly reported, "My sister said I shouldn't talk to you."

"Your sister sounds like a bitch," Mina drawled.

Remus swatted her lightly on the arm.

"Ow!" she complained, "Moony!"

"And who's your sister?" asked Black.

"Marlene McKinnon."

Well, that explained it; Marlene had graduated years ago (with Frank Longbottom), but Lily still remembered the former prefect's practice at meals of naming her entrée after one of the Marauders and then stabbing the edible effigy viciously, repeatedly with the sharpest knife she could find.

"I'm sure she was joking," Potter soothed, "Marlene loved us. What's she been up to?"

Max shrugged, his black hair parted neatly to the left and his tie a clumsy mockery of the proper knot. "She's a Curse-Breaker for Gringotts," he said, "They just transferred her to Spain."

"That sounds exciting," declared Remus. After a short pause, the sandy-haired teen added, "Right, well, we should be on our way. Don't want to keep you kids out too late."

_Oh god_, Lily suddenly realized, _They're hijacking the first-years_.

"What do you think you're doing?" the girl demanded as she strode over purposefully.

Mary was the only person who had the grace to look a bit sheepish at being caught doing something they clearly weren't supposed to.

"Escorting the firsties to the Tower," Black explained with a haughty grin that Lily wanted nothing more than to slap off his face.

Beside him, tucked under his long arm and wearing her thick sunglasses and usual expression of cool arrogance, Mina clacked her white cane irritably back and forth against the stone floor. She leaned close and whispered something that made the lad laugh.

"The fifth-year prefects do that," Lily insisted, scanning the Entrance Hall for signs of the rightful guides, "Rory O'Brien and Irena Kozlow. I know I reminded them-"

"I gave them the night off," Remus announced.

Lily gaped at him. "You can't just-"

"I'm a prefect, too, Lily," the sandy-haired werewolf teased, "I think I can handle walking a gaggle of kids to bed, but you're welcome to come along and supervise, if you like."

She had to. Of course. There was no way the Marauders could be trusted. "Fine," the girl huffed, "But if this is the prelude to some sort of prank-"

"This is the prelude to me telling you to get the enormous stick out of your arse," interrupted Mina, gracefully dodging another warning swat from her brother, retaliating with a well-aimed swing of her cane, "But Moony gets all tetchy when I swear in front of munchkins, so if you agree to stop whining, then I'll agree to save my suggestions on stick removal for another day."

In Mina's mind, it was probably a generous compromise.

In Lily's, it was yet another battle she was never going to win.

"Let's just get this over with," she said, sighing a tortured sigh.

xxXxx

The walk really wouldn't have been complete without the Fat Lady. And although she didn't sing to signal the end, she did narrow her two dimensional eyes and hiss, "I thought they'd finally locked you up."

Smirking smugly, Mina replied, "Don't sound so relieved. You know no cell can hold me."

"The press have been reporting the story quite wrong, Lady," Remus patiently explained, "Mina actually helped the aurors to apprehend a criminal and to discover a traitor within their ranks."

"Hmph," the portrait replied, "If you're going to concoct wild stories, then at least try to come up with something a little more believable, Mr. Lupin."

Remus glowered heatedly. "_Hic sunt leones_," he spat.

"What's that mean?" Tia gushed, bouncing excitedly as she clung to James's hand, "Is it more magic?"

Laughing, James explained, "Sort of. It's not a spell. It's the password to the Tower. You need it to get inside."

The portrait swung open to the sound of a few gasps of amazement from the small children.

James couldn't help smiling as he remembered his own first night at Hogwarts. Seemed like such a lifetime ago. So much was the same, but so much was vastly different...

Lost in memories and the duty of helping Tia over the large step, James didn't immediately notice that his companions had gone quiet. The young man looked up and was shocked to see Dumbledore sitting in a large wingback chair by the fireside in the otherwise empty common room.

The headmaster closed the book he was reading and smiled in greeting. "Good evening," he murmured warmly, standing with unnatural grace and a bright twinkle of his eyes.

Mina let out a strangled groan, complaining, "We didn't even do anything yet!"

"_Yet_?" Dumbledore challenged, arching a bright white eyebrow over the top of his half-moon glasses, "Dear, when you use words like _yet_, I feel obligated to ask about your future plans. And I don't think either of us wants that."

"Good evening, sir," chimed Remus, swooping in before his sister could talk herself into trouble, "I really liked your speech at dinner."

The old man grinned and answered, "Thank you, Mr. Lupin. It's always nice to know someone was listening."

(Since he could not recall a single word of this alleged speech, James couldn't help thinking that the headmaster's comment was directed at him.)

Silence yawned like a chasm, reminding James of the late hour and the weary children in his care. "To what do we owe the... visit?" he inquired, "Sir?"

Dumbledore offered yet another obliging grin. "I was growing quite bored," he answered, "Waiting all alone in my office for Miss Lupin to arrive for our meeting."

"We didn't have a-" Mina cut herself off abruptly and began to dig through her trouser pocket. "Oh," she added, producing a sealed letter, "Is that what this is about?"

_Merlin's sake..._

Sirius snatched the letter away, opening and summarizing it importantly. "You were supposed to meet Dumbledore right after the feast."

"I gathered," Mina huffed. After a moment of being the center of attention, she gave a prickly shrug and defended, "Well don't look at me like that. What did you expect me to read it with? My bloody feet?"

"No harm done, my dear," the headmaster declared, offering another whimsical twinkle of his light blue eyes, "There are plenty of hours left in the night. Now, if your brother would be so good as to come along as your escort, we can be on our way." He smirked, adding, "Miss Jones, I understand you are in need of some school supplies. Your Head of House will make the arrangements with you at breakfast. And I apologize for the confusion. I was quite certain that I sent your caretaker clear instructions and sufficient funds, but perhaps my old mind is playing tricks on me."

Tia beamed; the much more likely scenario of her caretaker having ignored the instructions and pocketed the funds probably never occurred to her.

Mina pouted; she'd been looking forward to their first breakout of the year.

James felt relieved; the more time his friends spent locked behind the relative safety of the castle walls, the less anxious he felt.

Dumbledore offered the book to Sirius, instructing, "Mr. Black, would you be so kind as to return this to its rightful owner?"

Staring quizzically as he accepted the tome, Sirius asked, "Who's the owner?"

"I'm afraid I have no idea," said the headmaster, smiling mysteriously, "It was left here by the fire, and I helped myself. Quite a captivating tale."

The worn leather cover displayed a scrawl of thin silvery letters. One word: _Oubliette_.

Sirius turned the brick-shaped book over in his hands, murmuring, "Um, alright, sir. I'll ask around tomorrow."

"Thank you," Dumbledore replied. He turned to leave, adding, "Pleasant dreams, everyone. Mr. and Miss Lupin?"

Bickering playfully, Remus and Mina followed him out.

The first-years were sent up their appropriate staircases, Mary kindly escorting Tia and the other little girls. Peter was meant to do the same for the boys, but the closest he came was nearly tripping over Max McKinnon.

Sirius also exited the common room but not before curiously opening the book with which he'd been entrusted.

"Potter?"

James sighed. Being subjected to only one lecture on his unfitness as a human, delivered loudly by the woman he loved, had been too much to hope for.

He turned, ready to endure whatever Lily wanted to scream.

But instead of seeing anger on the redhead's pretty face, James saw timid remorse.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, embarrassed but resolute, "For what happened on the train. I misread the situation and overreacted."

_She_ was apologizing to _him_?

James shook his head, wearily answering, "I shouldn't have... I should've known... after... last year..."

With a shrug, the lovely girl replied, "It was definitely an untimely moment for me to walk in on, but I shouldn't have yelled. I should've... well, I guess I just saw what I expected to see, not what was really going on. So I'm sorry for my reaction."

_I just saw what I expected to see_...

Lily still considered him to be a self-absorbed thug, and he wasn't exactly doing a great job of convincing her otherwise.

"Sorry for not thinking before I acted," James said with a weak chuckle. "And I'm sorry you missed our Marauder Feast. You could've come back in. Mina explodes at at least one of us at least once a week, so we're used to laughing off just about any outburst."

Rolling her eyes but actually _smiling_, the redhead countered, "Well, I guess you'd have to be... anyways, maybe next year."

James grinned. "Careful," he teased, "I might hold you to that."

She rolled her eyes at him again, but the smile didn't fade. "Good night, Potter."

Watching as Lily climbed the stairs, James couldn't help feeling a giddy thrill when she turned around and spared him one last tired grin. "Good night, Evans."

xxXxx

"And so now I'm going to be stuck in his bloody boring office for the next two to three days making up all the exams I missed. I thought getting to skip half the OWLs was an advantage of running away, but _noooo_. Because of my _extraordinary civil service_, special allowances have been made. That'll teach me to do good deeds, I suppose. Oh, and you owe me a goddamn galleon! Dumbledore definitely has the portraits spying for him! That's the only way he could've known about our plan to take Tia for her wand! I bet it was that slutty Italian hag on the second floor. She's always in everyone's business. Was she around last night when we walked past?... Padfoot?... _Padfoot_!"

Sirius jumped, whirling to peer down at his very annoyed girlfriend. "Huh?" he inquired intelligently.

Mina growled and complained, "Have you been listening?"

The thought of lying did cross his mind, but Sirius hadn't even been listening enough to fake it convincingly. And since they were the only two Marauders present at the early breakfast (two of only a handful of people in the entire Hall), he couldn't even look to James or Peter for clues. "Sorry, Sunshine," Sirius said, slinging an arm around her slender shoulders, "This book is really interesting."

"Weren't you supposed to return that?" Mina challenged. She groped the breakfast table in search of sustenance, apparently still too stubborn to allow Sirius to prepare a plate of her favorites.

Sirius caught a wobbling pitcher of pumpkin juice before it fell victim to his girlfriend's clumsy search. Shrugging, the young man answered, "I put up a note, but hopefully no one claims it before I'm finished. Do you know what an oubliette is?"

"A dungeon, right?" Mina grumbled. She perked up a bit when her questing hands found a basket of fresh muffins.

Sirius nodded. "A kind of secret dungeon that some medieval castles used to have," he explained, "Basically a sealed room with only an opening in the ceiling. Like a pit. Oubliette comes from the French word that means 'to forget' because you'd only throw a person in an oubliette if you wanted to forget about them. Condemn them to waste away all alone in the dark."

"Charming," quipped Mina.

Sirius looked up from his book just in time to prevent his girlfriend from biting into her chosen muffin; he knocked the treat out of her hand.

Mina shot him a dirty look and demanded, "What the bloody hell?"

"It had pine nuts on it," Sirius said. Deciding to ignore his girl's pigheaded insistence on self-reliance, he began assembling a breakfast for her. "You're allergic, love."

"I know," she pouted, "Guess I got distracted listening to you ramble on about secret medieval dungeons."

Sighing, Sirius gave her the plate and a fork and commanded, "You have to let us help you more. You're covered in bruises, and you almost just poisoned yourself."

She gave a noncommittal shrug, poking sullenly at her meal and venturing, "What's so interesting about your dungeon book?"

Sirius huffed, knowing not to push. "It starts off with this young duke inheriting a castle in the 1400s," he declared, "The duke gets lost on his first night there and falls through a rotten trapdoor into an oubliette that no one even knew about. It's totally empty, but the walls are covered with writing that's actually carved into the stone. The duke spends all night walking around and around the cell, reading the story of the prisoner who was there before him, a man who calls himself Bright.

"Hundreds of years before, Bright was a knight who had fallen in love with the castle lord's daughter. They ran away together and got married and lived happily in a small cottage by the seaside for many years. His wife became pregnant, but she died in childbirth. Very soon after, the castle lord found them. He took Bright's daughter away, to replace his own daughter, and he locked Bright in the oubliette.

"Bright is down there for what he thinks is centuries, trying not to go mad, trying not to forget the faces of his wife and his daughter. It's so dark that Bright actually starts to hallucinate terrible monsters all around him, watching him and waiting to devour his memories. That's why he carves his story into the walls, so the monsters can't take it away from him. No matter what, Bright can always run his fingers along the carvings and read about his own life, even in the pitch darkness. While the duke reads, his torch is slowly dying, making him have to feel at the carvings like Bright did, making him start to think he's seeing the same monsters, that the cell is shrinking to smother him and at the same time growing into a terrifying netherworld as the darkness hides the physical barriers..."

"Intense," Mina commented.

"Ya," agreed Sirius, "Anyways, I'm only halfway through, and I really want to know what happens. I mean, if the cell was empty, then Bright probably didn't die in there, right? The duke would've found his skeleton... hey, we can go outside after breakfast. I can read to you."

Smirking, chuckling at his enthusiasm (for a book, of all things), Mina said, "Pads, I told you. I'm supposed to go to Dumbledore's office. They're making me take the OWLs I missed."

Right. That must've been the part he wasn't listening to.

"But you can tell me all about it tonight," Mina soothed, "I'm sure I'll need something to distract me from stupid-arse exams."

"I am an excellent distracter," Sirius agreed with a wink. (Then he remembered that his girl couldn't actually see the wink, and he started to feel a bit silly.)

xxXxx

Catching up with Mary sans Marauders was getting to be a harder and harder accomplishment, but Lily finally managed it shortly after lunch. "Mary!" she called, jogging to meet the much taller girl on the school's front steps, "Hi! You never showed me the pictures of your new cousin."

Mary grinned proudly and moved her broom from one shoulder to the other before digging into the pocket of her loose shorts. "There he is," the dark-haired keeper declared, "Little Ollie."

They walked together down the wide, sunny lawn as Lily cooed over the squalling brunette bundle. "He's gorgeous," she said, "A real sweetheart, I'll bet. How's Morna doing?"

"Still sulking over losing the coin toss," laughed Mary, "But, personally, I think _Oliver Wood_ sounds much better than _Oliver MacDonald-Desjardins_. I never understood why she didn't take her husband's name after they got married. And that's not me being anti-feminist. It would just save her a lot of time and ink when she signs autographs."

The two girls laughed together awhile longer, chatting about this and that. Once again, Lily couldn't help noticing how different Mary had become since the taller girl started hanging out with Mina Lupin. Lily had been sure Lupin would destroy Mary, at the very least turn her into yet another self-absorbed prankster. After the Mulciber incident, Mary's emotional fragility could've led down any one of a dozen very dark paths.

But the opposite was true: Mary seemed to have benefited greatly from the friendship. She was talkative and confident, calm. A far cry from the withdrawn, anxious, overly sensitive wallflower that Lily had known during their first several years in school.

Lily didn't understand and didn't think such a thing was possible, but, somehow, Lupin had bullied and badgered Mary into becoming a much more well-adjusted person.

Distracted by her musings and the amiable conversation, Lily didn't notice where they were heading until they were already there. "Oh," the redhead declared, staring up at the stadium, "You have practice? Already?"

Mary smirked, tossing a long dark pigtail. "Nothing official," she said, "I'm meeting the Gryff boys and maybe a few others. You're welcome to join."

"Oh, well... I'm not really dressed for it-"

"I have an extra kit in my locker," Mary interrupted. She snickered impishly, goading, "C'mon. What else are you going to do today? We don't have any homework yet, and the headmaster is personally supervising Mina."

Actually, those usually were two of Lily's biggest concerns. And her last afternoon of flight had been quite a lot of fun... "Um, I suppose-"

"Great!" Lily hadn't even finished agreeing when Mary hooked their elbows together and steered them through a wide tunnel that led toward the locker room, "This'll be excellent!"

Lily warred back and forth on that subject as she changed, as Mary helped shrink the too-long t-shirt and shorts to a more functional, flattering size. Lily still wasn't sure about her decision until she stepped onto the pitch and saw that James Potter was not only shirtless, but also quite sweaty and extremely fit.

_Definitely a bad idea..._

"Keep it up, Wormtail," the young man ordered, jogging easily beside his struggling friend, "One more lap! You're almost there!"

Pettigrew whined but trudged onward around the outside of the field, not seeming to be able to draw in enough breath to complain.

Potter gave a long, loud laugh, the sun glimmering off his thick glasses and his manic black hair and his surprisingly sculpted muscles. Lily had known he was slim, but she had no idea that he was so... well-built. So... strong... and with his track pants riding low on his flat stomach... Merlin's sake. Who had abs like that? It wasn't natural...

Lily shook herself out of the undignified ogling and immediately felt heat rush into her cheeks.

Mary laughed and tossed her a towel. "For the drool," the dark-haired keeper teased, striding ahead to join her friends.

_Yes_, Lily decided, _A very bad idea..._

She held tight to her borrowed broom and followed Mary onto the pitch.

xxXxx

Bright's last carving, made as monsters and darkness and sickness and madness closed in around the captive knight, read:

"_I am not afraid to die. I am afraid to live in the absence of hope. I am afraid that God is not as just as I believe him to be, that I have suffered these long lonely years only to pass into nothingness rather than into the warm arms of my lost love. I am afraid I will not be allowed to look down from heaven upon my daughter, who was born beautiful and can only have grown more so. I am afraid she may never know how blessed I feel to have held her even for those few short hours. I am afraid she may never know that her father cherished and adored and loved her wholly, until his very last breath and, God permitting, loves her still forever after._

"_But I am not afraid to die. I surrender my earthly form to the ravages of cold and hunger, to the savage beasts that have stalked me these many dark leagues. They will rend my pitiful flesh and crunch my brittle bones, but they will never rob me of these memories. They will never devour my beloved's dulcet laugh, the slow curl of her radiant smile, the living heat and ambrosial aroma of her pale body sleeping next to mine in the holy bed we shared. They will never gorge themselves on my child's first cries, her trusting eyes, her perfect fingers wrapped tight around just one of mine. These moments I take to my grave, to give me courage to face the mysteries of death, the looming threat of oblivion._"

The duke was rescued from the oubliette after only one night and ordered the carvings to be transcribed on paper. Then the duke searched his library and finally found a diary belonging to a girl he believed to be Bright's daughter, who stumbled upon Bright as he was dying. The ten-year-old child never knew that the ragged skeleton of a man was her own father but still ordered him to be brought him into the sunshine and held him in her arms as he died, unable to speak. She turned out to the duke's great-great-great-great grandmother, who never forgot the broken man and became known for her mercy to all people.

It was a tragically beautiful end to an enthralling story that claimed to be true.

Sirius rubbed his eyes, not only because they were tired from hours of nonstop reading and no sleep, but also because they were threatening tears. He couldn't get over the terror and resolve in Bright's final confession, the injustice of his captivity. The very thought of spending ten years locked all alone in the dark, all alone in a tiny dark cell as horrific creatures and a nightmarish landscape came to life in his mind...

The young man had to remind himself to breathe, to pull in a cleansing lungful of clean summer air.

James flew into the stands and flopped into a nearby seat. Lanky limbs spilling everywhere, the sweat-drenched chaser declared, "You finally done being boring? Want to join in? Wormtail definitely needs some practice dodging bludgers if he wants to be on the team next year."

Sirius shook his head. He wasn't sure he could force any speech past the lump in his throat.

Frowning, James scooted a bit closer and asked, "What's wrong?"

Truly, Sirius wasn't sure. Or at least he couldn't put it into words. "Prongs," he croaked, swallowing thickly, "Do you... still want to know what happened at the bar?"

"Of course," his friend replied. The concern was genuine. Almost... relieved. "If you're ready to tell me."

Sirius needed someone to tell him that he wasn't going to go crazy, that he wouldn't die alone in the dark. "While I was home, I started having these awful dreams about being trapped in a room with no doors and no windows and no air. I think probably because my mother locked me in my bedroom..."

xxxxxxxxxx

As promised, I got ten reviews, so you guys get this chapter early. Hooray! I knew you could do it! Keep up the good work, and I'll have more for you soon :)

Bonus points for anyone who knows what the chapter title means. Hopefully the thing with Sirius's book wasn't too weird... I went back and forth on that, but whatever.


	28. Chroma

Part 28 – Chroma

Beautiful. Her bed's canopy was utterly, indescribably _beautiful_.

The perfect warp and weft of the tightly interlocking threads performed a dazzling abstract of crimson and gold. Fireworks and treasure. Blood and sand. Functional fabric turned into a mind-blowing artistic experience.

Mina stared for hours, quietly awed as the changing angle of the rising sun spawned a kaleidoscope of images. Dragons and koi chasing each other across vast unnamed galaxies. Infants squalling around their first breaths, aging and crumbling to dust in the same instant. Swords clashing in a symphony of gore long before memory.

The girl's starved sense feasted, so absorbed in its gluttony that Mina didn't consciously realize what was happening, that her sight had finally, fucking _finally_ returned until Mary leaned inside the hangings.

"Oh," the rosy-cheeked keeper said, smirking playfully, "You're alive. When I realized I hadn't heard any crashes or cursing at the crack of dawn, I thought for sure something had gone terribly wrong." Mary's long hair spilled from her head like ribbons of molasses, dark and sleek and sweet.

"Hi," Mina replied. She didn't know if she could successfully voice the amazing development, especially not while the ruby studs in her friend's pale earlobes seemed to glow with the radiance of faceted embers.

Frowning, Mary reached a long toned arm through the hangings and pressed her calloused hand against Mina's forehead. "Are you alright?" the taller girl demanded, "You didn't stay up all night smoking again, did you? You're supposed to be getting more rest so that you can get better faster so that James doesn't have to go through with holding tryouts for a new beater. And you really should stop being so pissy with him about that. McGonagall is making him, and he couldn't put it off too long, just in case. Plus, you _know_ you're getting your spot back the second your eyes heal-"

"They did," interrupted Mina. She grinned like a loon. "Mac. I can see."

Mary's jaw dropped, hitting the floor and bouncing back upward in a toothy, elated smile. "Merlin, really?" she laughed, "It's about bloody time! Everyone is going to be thrilled!"

And then, because being amazed nearly to tears by the sublime beauty of her everyday surroundings wasn't enough to damper the girl's natural inclination toward mischief, Mina chuckled, "Oh, I'm sure they will be. But let's have a bit of fun with them first..."

xxXxx

Sirius liked sharing a dorm. Usually.

Having others all around him, all the time, was enjoyable. Comforting. He knew it was strange. Most people treasured their privacy and went a bit mad after months of constantly bumping elbows with their roommates. But Sirius wasn't most people and had always felt better knowing that his fellow Maruaders were there. That he wasn't alone.

The downside, of course, was that most secrets didn't stay secret long when three out of four of your best friends slept only feet away from you.

"Another nightmare, Pads?" Remus asked kindly, already halfway through his morning routine (between the fastidious uniform inspection and the immensely nerdy school supply inventory).

Swallowing hard in an attempt to dislodge the lump of visceral terror from his throat, Sirius nodded. He stood shakily, his cooling sweat eliciting a nasty chill and his breath coming too fast.

Remus tossed him a chocolate bar.

And as annoying and embarrassing as it was to have them all _know_, Sirius returned a grateful smile.

The treat almost made him forget the hours he spent every night dreading sleep, the frustration of wanting to go see Mina but fearing what would happen if he fell asleep with her nearby. He couldn't let her know...

"You should try eating green olives right before bed," Peter piped up. Hands on hips, the podgy boy was in the middle of performing a series of callisthenic lunges across the length of the room. "My da swears by them for a good night's sleep. And from the way he snores, the man has no problems in that department."

James appeared on the floor between their beds, crawling commando style and (if his near nudity was any indication) searching for clean clothes. He frowned up at Sirius and insisted, "What you should do is talk to Sunny. She is our resident expert on sleep disorders. Oh, and also your girlfriend, who is probably not going to be happy that you've already gone so long without telling her about your... problem."

An excellent point started to lose some of its punch after being offered several times a day over the course of an entire week. Or at least Sirius thought so. "She has enough to deal with right now," he insisted, stumbling toward the showers, "She doesn't need to be obsessing over my stupid issues."

"They're not stupid," answered Remus, "You're simply suffering the effects of child abuse." The pity in his amber gaze nearly got him smacked. "And you're lucky Mina is blind right now," he added, "Or she would've already noticed that something is up."

"I'M FINE!" Sirius roared.

After his very long, very hot shower, he came to the realization that maybe it was a bit of an overreaction.

"I'm not _suffering the effects of child abuse_," he crossly insisted on the way to breakfast, "I got a weird idea in my head, and the damn thing refuses to leave. It's is all Frank's fault! If he hadn't made my moronic nightmare come true by locking me in that _room_-" (Sirius tried not to shudder too noticeably) "-then none of this would be happening!"

"My parents took me to the circus when I was seven." Peter could always be trusted to provide a subject change in the form of a non sequitor.

Arching a skeptical eyebrown, James replied, "When I was seven, my parents bought me a goldfish. Apparently it was supposed to teach me responsibility. I don't remember what happened to Mr. Blinky, and Mum and Dad refuse to speak of it."

Pete rolled his pale eyes. "Don't be thick," he quipped, "And let me at least finish my story before implying that I am."

Snap.

"They thought I would love seeing the acrobats and the clowns," Pete continued, "And the lions. My da has been telling me stories about Gryffindor lions since I was born. Unfortunately, in the middle of the show, one of the elephants went completely insane and nearly trampled a whole section of the audience."

_Ok_, mused Sirius, _This is seeming more and more relevant._

Dodging the rattling saber of an especially senile suit of armor, Peter explained, "We weren't in the section. And no one was even hurt. But I still had nightmares. On and off for _years_. To this day, elephants still freak me out. Clumsy, leathery bastards..."

"Well, there's good news on that front," Remus contributed, scanning the halls for his sister or Mary or both, "Apparently elephants have an instinctual fear of mice and rats."

"Really?" Peter said with a grin. He rubbed his hands together in the evil-genius style they more typically encountered from James, and Sirius made a mental note not to take his rat Animagus friend to any circuses, zoos, or festivals. Being trampled by an elephant was not a dignified way to die.

"Back to your actual point?" Sirius prompted.

With just one more maniacal laugh, Peter declared, "My point is you can't control what sets off nightmares or phobias. They're not entirely rational. You just have to deal with them when they come. Our brains are kind of inconvenient that way."

Sirius resisted the urge to make the obvious joke about Pete and his inconvenient brain.

By the time the boys arrived at breakfast, they had thankfully switched to a less Sirius-centric topic of discussion. Also thankfully, they found Mina and Mary sitting toward the middle of the long table.

Mina was telling fortunes again.

"I see... water," she murmured, both her hands tangled in Greta Rudiger's curly auburn hair, "Lots of very deep water...You should probably buy a canoe."

"A _canoe_?" the seventh year Ravenclaw spat, squirming under the treatment, "I didn't ask about any stupid canoe!"

Shrugging, devious eyes hidden behind thick black shades, Mina replied, "I see what I see. Who's the bloody psychic here?"

Definitely not Mina. But after her Animagus senses warned the girl about several sneak attacks from emboldened, opportunistic revenge seekers, someone started a rumor that Mina's blindness had actually unlocked a latent ability for gazing into the future.

And as Mina put it when the gossip finally reached her keen hearing, "Anyone stupid enough to believe that is probably stupid enough to pay for a demonstration."

For one galleon, Mina would answer one question.

Sighing in annoyance, she gave Rudiger's cranium a rough shake and demanded, "What did you ask again?"

"I want to know if Keith Davies and I will get married," said Rudiger. She smiled dreamily, seeming to momentarily forget that Mina was bouncing the girl's brain around in her skull.

(Mina liked to explain to her customers that prophecies needed to be dislodged and that vigorous noggin jostling was the most effective way; thus far, no one had doubted her.)

With one more whiplash-inducing motion, the blind "prophetess" declared, "I see... a kid. Your kid. He looks a lot like Davies... And he also seems like a moron, so that's fairly strong evidence in your favor."

"HEY!" cried Rudiger.

"Try not to get knocked up before graduation," Mina went on, "It's such a cliché. And nobody likes a shotgun wedding."

Greta Rudiger fought her way out of the grip and stormed away.

"Remember, knees together!" laughed Mina, "And I was serious about the canoe! You'll probably drown otherwise!"

"Sunshine," Sirius greeted, falling into his usual seat and slipping an arm around her slender shoulders, "Keeping yourself amused, I see."

She beamed, grabbing him by the tie and yanking him into a long, brutal kiss.

"Fuck's sake," Remus grumbled. (He always got a bit tetchy around the full moon and was a little looser with his profanity.)

Sirius wanted to say _shut up, Moony. Your sister is an amazing snogger_. Fortunately for all of them, Sirius's mouth was otherwise occupied and stayed that way for most of breakfast.

xxXxx

If she'd been asked before that summer, Mina would've said that the stones of Hogwarts were gray. That grass was green and the sky was blue and Sirius's hair was as black as his name.

She would've been wrong. Or at least inaccurate, because those words—gray, green, blue, black—were just... deficient. They were poor, overly simple descriptors that did nothing to capture the beguiling miracle of _color_.

Mina stared at the stones beneath her feet, marveling at them, trying to assign a new, better name to their unique hue.

Volcanic-ash-and-tarnished-porous-cobalt-veined-wi th-diluted-squid-ink-and-speckled-with-crushed-van illa-beans.

Gorgeous.

(Mina was planning on reading thesaurus cover-to-cover just to have more words to describe her vibrant world.)

"Miss Lupin?"

Mina grinned up at the professor. McGonagall's color would, of course, be called McGonagall, a blend of crinkly, reluctantly amused eye wrinkles, scratchy tartan wool, and austere, unpolished ebony. Mina wondered how the woman got her sable hair into so tight a bun without snapping the individual strands. They seemed taut as bowstrings. "Yes, Ma'am?"

Solemn and straight-backed as always, McGonagall replied, "Your ears are still in working order, so I would appreciate if you would listen more carefully to my lecture."

"But I already know how to turn a man into a pig," the girl replied, "All it takes is about half a bottle of firewhiskey."

Beside her, Remus tried his best to stifle a snort of laughter. And since he was generally in charge of reigning Mina in during class time (since despite the impending full moon, he had proclaimed to be well enough to attend), she took that as permission to continue.

With a smirk, she added, "But bikinis also do the trick. Or really any type of tit-baring clothing."

Remus's crystalline amber eyes went wide.

Angry blood inundated McGonagall's sunken cheeks.

Mina wanted a darker shade of red, closer to fine merlot, so the girl went on, "It's a very simple transfiguration to accomplish. I bet if you undid a few buttons, nearly all the lads in here would-"

"That is _enough_!" the professor shouted, absolutely scandalized and absolutely scarlet, flustered to the point of near incoherence, "Not one more word, Miss Lupin! And you and I will be having a long discussion after class about appropriate language and subject matter! Fifty points from Gryffindor! Detention! Bloody... flogging!"

Now it was Mina's turn to suppress giggles: McGonagall rarely swore and had _never_ threatened to flog _anyone_.

Mina deserved the troublemaker's equivalent of an Order of Merlin.

"She's very sorry, Professor," Remus insisted pleadingly, pale hands fluttering, "The potions that Mina is taking for her eyes tend to make her a bit... er... uninhibited..."

"Good news for Black," leered a thickset Hufflepuff boy in the second row. (Mina couldn't actually remember his first name; his last name was Fawcett, which was why the Marauders had always called him Drip.)

"Blow it out your arse, Drip," Sirius snarled, successfully attracting McGonagall's rage onto himself.

Mina couldn't risk looking over at her boyfriend. She made that mistake at breakfast and had been completely overcome by his physical splendor. His depraved smile and glimmering slate-and-storm-cloud eyes (with just a tantalizing hint of wilted-lilac under the right light), his broad, deliciously muscular chest, his remarkably shiny hair, so deeply black it seemed to reflect all its surrounding colors like gossamer prisms...

_Ahem._

Ya. So unless Mina wanted to get in trouble for snogging Sirius in the middle of Transfiguration, then the girl was going to need to keep her newly restored gaze to herself.

There would be plenty of time after quidditch to stare at and obsess over and be generally weird to all her beautiful friends.

xxXxx

If Lily had to guess (and days like that one made her prone to doing so), she would probably say that her manner of death would be being crushed under a mountain of books.

Sixth year had just barely started; it was a year when the students weren't even facing any important exams, and still Lily was already struggling to transport the ridiculous number of texts she needed to complete her ridiculous number of assignments.

And that was before the bell rang and unleashed a stampede of rowdy students into the hallway.

"Excuse me!" the girl shouted, dodging and weaving rather unsuccessfully, "Ouch! There's no need to push! I just need to get- HEY! I see you, Durand! Last warning about the stink pellets!"

Someone crashed into the girl from behind, forcing her armful of books into the air and then onto the floor. Lily knelt down to recover her belongings, but the effort was entirely futile; just as soon as she managed to recover one book, three others were kicked and trampled out of reach.

Bloody hell. She was never going to make it to History on time; making it with all her fingers attached and unstomped would be a marvel.

A loud _CRACK _overhead made the girl flinch, made the crowd instantly part as diamond-like sparks rained down around Lily.

She looked up and found James Potter just a few feet away, stooping to collect the scattered tomes, summoning others, manhandling anyone who got in his way.

"Alright, Evans?" the black-haired boy asked when he finally approached.

It was really, _really_ difficult to take no notice of the way his bicep bulged as he easily carried the mass of books under just one long arm.

_At least he's got a sodding shirt on this time_, Lily mused, _So there's less chance of me making an absolute fool of myself_. "Yes, I'm fine," the girl replied, smiling sheepishly, "Thanks."

Returning a wide grin, Potter gave Lily a hand up and took the few remaining books from her. "Good," he declared, readjusting the stack a bit and then picking up Lily's bag as well, slinging it over his lanky shoulder, "This hallway can be a bit dicey at this time of day. Everyone is always in such a hurry between classes."

"Mid-afternoon rush," Lily agreed, "I guess I should've known better."

Potter gallantly offered his free arm, and Lily took it without thinking. (A big mistake; his left arm appeared to be just as strong as his right, and, with his sleeves rolled messily past his elbows, Lily couldn't ignore the warm, solid strength beneath her palm.)

They walked in the direction of the History room and encountered no more shoving from the unruly crowd. No one would dare shove a Marauder; it was suicide.

"So," Lily began, searching for a subject of conversation, anything to keep her from ogling, "I heard you're holding the tryout today."

Potter winced, sighing, "Yes, unfortunately. McGonagall _strongly suggested_ it. But there's really no point. Mina's going to be better soon."

"I hope so," teased Lily, "Maybe then people will stop believing that she's psychic. Octavius Pepper nearly set fire to Ravenclaw Tower because of whatever she told him last night."

Snickering as his bright hazel eyes sparkled merrily, Potter replied, "All she said was '_burn the evidence_.' She's used that one on a few people so far, always with amusing results. Seems like it's the perfect mix of vague and ominous. Just what you look for in a prophecy."

Right. She forgot he (and bloody Lupin) didn't take Divination, that he'd been overheard calling the subject "guesswork and superstition."

"Not all prophecies are nonsense," Lily argued heatedly, "There are legitimate seers in the world. The Ministry has a whole wing devoted to keeping track of the most credible predictions. Professor Giles was actually very famous and talented, in his day. Though he always refuses to read for students."

Potter shrugged.

(Lily really wished he wouldn't; the action made his thick muscles ripple distractingly in her grip.)

(Seriously, how could someone so bloody skinny have so many damned muscles?)

"I just can't bring myself to believe in any of that," the young man declared. (And why did he have to be so damned tall?) "Besides, seeing into the future, even if it were possible, would be cheating at life. Takes all the fun out of things."

Lily smiled. "I suppose that's an interesting point," she murmured, "But most prophecies aren't about fun. They're about deaths and tragedies and wars. Wouldn't you rather have some warning about those?"

Chuckling, Potter answered, "Perhaps. But only if the warnings were going to let me avert such catastrophes. Otherwise they don't accomplish anything but making good times less enjoyable." With a smirk, he added, "When you're eating a piece of chocolate, you don't think about how eating all of it is going to leave you with no chocolate, how sad you'll be when you run out and have to go searching for more. You think about how amazing chocolate is. It's called living in the moment, Evans."

"It's called poor planning," the girl laughed, "And it's no excuse to ever run out of chocolate."

They arrived suddenly at the History classroom. James followed her inside and put her books and bag at her usual desk. "Anyways," he said, turning to leave, "Nice catching up. Good luck."

"You're not staying?" She was definitely more surprised than disappointed.

_Definitely_.

Running his slender fingers through the rich black jumble on his head, the boy answered, "Nah. Remus is the only one who's sticking with History. The rest of us decided that we prefer to take our naps in our beds, without Binns droning on in the background."

Lily stared at him, unsure of what to say.

Unsure of how to explain to herself that she'd just allowed_ James Potter_ to carry her books all the way to a class he wasn't even in.

"Later, Evans," the young man chuckled. In the doorway, he passed Remus and exchanged a friendly nod with the startled prefect.

By the time he sat beside Lily, Remus wore a devious, mocking smile he seemed to have borrowed from his insane sister. "Lily," the sandy-haired werewolf greeted, "How was your free period?"

Traitorous heat rose to the girl's pale cheeks. Lily grumbled, "Aren't you supposed to be in the Hospital Wing?"

The full moon was that night. Usually Remus disappeared morning of.

He shrugged, whispering, "I'm feeling a bit better than normal. And the rise is late. Plus, I figured it would be a good idea to stick around and supervise Mina for as long as possible. She nearly got herself killed in Transfiguration. You didn't answer my question."

"It's not a free period," Lily replied, aware that her face was still beet red, "It's the Defense class. Or at least it will be, when Dumbledore finally finds us a professor. And it was fine... Uneventful."

Bloody bastard had the gall to laugh.

Turning away to sulk into her textbook, Lily muttered, "Shut up, Remus."

xxXxx

"OI! TIA!"

The small spritely child paused and twirled toward the sound of the shout, squealing and then skipping straight at James. She flung her arms around his hip and hugged with all her itty bitty heart.

Laughing, James patted the girl's lovely black curls and declared, "Nice to see you, too, little one. How's your first week going? Finding your way around alright? No one giving you any trouble?"

"It's been lots and lots of fun!" Tia replied, grinning up at him, "I learned so much cool stuff! I can make a feather float! And I can turn a match into a needle! OH! And Goblin Wars! I know all about Goblin Wars!"

"Glad to hear," Sirius chuckled. He couldn't remember ever having heard anyone sound so excited about something they'd learned from Binns. "Have you seen Mina or Mary around since this afternoon?" the tall teen inquired, "They took Remus for his treatment after his last class and then disappeared."

And with the tryout due to start in less than fifteen minutes (four o'clock, on the dot), the disappearance probably wasn't innocent.

"Oh, sure," Tia eagerly announced, "I saw them both a little while ago. They were heading toward the quidditch pitch, and they invited me to come watch the tryout. Mina said it would be _amazing_!"

Sirius looked at James just in time to see the bespectacled lad's face go stark white.

They sprinted the rest of the way across the wide lawn.

James snatched the signup sheet off the locker room door and gave a horrified squeak.

Mina had crookedly signed her name, half on the parchment and half on the old slab of wood.

"SUNNY!" the captain shouted, stomping onto the pitch.

Sirius would've yelled, too, but he looked up and forgot how to breathe.

She was already in the bloody air. Already flying high enough and fast enough to break her bloody neck.

"ROMINA JOY LUPIN!" James shrieked, "DO YOU HAVE A FUCKING DEATH WISH?! GET DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT! NO! WAIT! JUST STOP! STAY WHERE YOU ARE! WE'RE COMING TO RESCUE YOU!"

The girl's answering cackle was almost drowned out by the sound of wind in Sirius's ears.

(He didn't remember mounting his broom or kicking off the ground.)

"Unknot your knickers, Prongs," Mina taunted, zipping out of reach every time the boys got close, "And I don't need any bloody rescuing. What'd you expect? That I'd let you just give away my position?"

Spluttering, still frantically trying to catch their crazy female friend, James declared, "I'm not _giving it away_! You're _blind_! You can't play _blind_!"

Mina smirked and fidgeted with her dark shades. "Says who?" she demanded, "Bet you ten galleons I can still beat better than whatever pathetic thieves show up for this farce."

"Sunny," James groaned, "No... just... _no_! I _forbid it_!"

The girl laughed so hard she nearly fell off her broom, which nearly gave James and Sirius matching heart attacks.

Mary floated over. "Leave her alone," their teammate declared, grinning, "She's surprisingly not horrible in her current state."

"Quiet, MacDonald!" James snarled, "Or I'll be auditioning new keepers next!"

The threat did not faze Mary. Not even a little. "If you think you can find someone better than me," she smugly announced, raising a thin dark eyebrow, "You're welcome to try. I'll just drop out and go play for Montrose."

"Oh, Mac," groaned Mina, "The Magpies? Fuck's sake, aim higher. I have to be seen with you in public, after all."

Mary smirked. "I like a challenge."

James tilted his head back and wailed like a banshee

xxXxx

"Told you he'd scream," Mina said with a wide smile.

Nodding as she watched the team's captain and other beater zip down to the ground in frustration, Mary replied, "I didn't think you meant like that. That was a small nervous breakdown."

"Aren't pranks amazing?" answered Mina. She peered slyly over the top of her shades, winking at her statuesque companion. "Bet you want to think of our next one," the sandy-haired witch proclaimed, "Make me proud, Mac."

"Don't give the captain a stroke, Mina," Mary chuckled.

Six other people showed up for the tryout. Mina had read their names off the signup sheet ahead of time: Raf Ramirez, Bethany Yates, Caradoc Dearborn, Darwin Durand, Rory O'Brien, Suzi Kemp.

_"We have a Kemp in our house?" Mina asked as she and Mary were changing, "Aren't all those bimbos in Hufflepuff?"_

_Rolling her foxish espresso-and-jet eyes, Mary explained, "The four older girls are Hufflepuffs. Suzi is one of ours. A third-year. Fierce little thing. She might actually make a good beater." _

_Mina chuckled. "Not this year."_

James's shrill whistle yanked her back into the present and sent Mina spiraling down.

Bethany Yates saw her; the fifth-year's eyes went wide, and she promptly fled the field.

Good. Even if the spot had been open, Bethany Yates would've been a terrible choice, as her brief stint as keeper the year before had proved to anyone with half a brain. She had just enough skill to stay on a broom, but her only interest in the sport was staring at Sirius's arse during practice.

One down. Five to go.

"Right," James decreed, addressing the applicants but staring at Mina, "So... you all know this position would be temporary. As soon as Lupin is in better health, I'm putting her back on the squad. Provided she doesn't kill herself doing something _stupid and dangerous and completely uncalled for_." He seemed more disheveled than usual, slightly green. He brought to mind the image of a large mantis with a large sea urchin on its large head.

"Provided I don't earn my spot back right now," said Mina. She stretched her arms over her head, trying not to be too obvious about sizing up her "competition."

Seventh-year Caradoc Dearborn certainly had a beater's physique (tall, broad, massively, deliberately muscular), but he lacked a certain... intelligence. Contrary to popular belief, the position wasn't all about breaking skulls, and a person did need a modicum of strategy, of common sense to succeed.

The other fifth-years—Darwin Durand and Rory O'Brien—reminded Mina a bit of James and Sirius; although the boys shared a close, brotherly friendship and similar blonde hair (toasted turmeric and autumn birch, respectively), they displayed very different personalities. Durand was a dopey class-clown type who would do just about anything for a laugh and who had made pulling pigtails his life's mission; O'Brien was likable yet distinguished, a Slug-Club prefect who drove the young ladies wild without even trying.

(Having one make the team without the other might very well strain their bond, and Mina decided it was her duty to prevent such a potential rift. She was generous like that.)

Mina didn't know much about Raf Ramirez. The burly Spaniard was a quiet fourthie. He reminded her of a beaver, squat and dark, with a mouthful of nervous buckteeth.

Mina decided that she hadn't ever noticed Suzi Kemp before because the petite third-year looked just like her four ditzy, obnoxious older sisters: Paulette, Bernardette, Yvette, and Cosette. Suzi was probably Suzette, if the pattern held. Her slender, elegant body was topped with flowing marigold hair; she was the only person who met Mina's gaze, scowling and glaring and appearing generally not intimidated.

"Fuck you all," Mina declared, hovering above their heads and cutting the air with her bat, "You'll have to fight me for it."

xxXxx

The suspicion grew exponentially until it became a theory and then a realization:

Mina's sight had returned. That was the only scenario that worked; Mina's Animagus senses compensated for a lot, but it was doubtful that they would allow her to hurtle through the air or crush bludgers with her usual accuracy. Without any broken bones.

Sirius would've been ecstatic had he not been so enraged.

After the weeks of worry, there was no excuse for his girlfriend to toy with him, to prolong and even worsen the anxiety.

James, clearly, had not made any similar discovery, even though he hadn't once taken his eyes off the girl (even though it meant nearly running himself into the goal posts on more than one occasion). He didn't seem to have noticed that Mina had already frightened Ramirez away and was close to doing the same to Dearborn, who looked a bit concussed.

"Bloody hell," O'Brien growled, exchanging a long look with his equally blonde, substantially more irritating friend, "Maybe she really is psychic."

"Don't be stupid," answered Durand. He mopped his sweat-drenched forehead and added, "Remember that movie we saw? _Zatoichi_? With the blind samurai? I'm sure it's more along those lines."

_Idiots_, thought Sirius, _I'm surrounded by idiots._

O'Brien panted, apparently trying to catch his breath. He gave a truly unmanly yelp as a bludger careened toward him.

Sirius swatted it away easily and was impressed when willowy little Suzi Kemp tore after the speeding projectile. The girl was quite different from her Hufflepuff sisters, at least one of whom Sirius thought he remembered talking into a broom cupboard rendezvous without much effort.

"Sod this," O'Brien declared, turning tail and fleeing for the safety of solid ground.

Durand rolled his dark eyes and followed his friend off the field.

When he realized that he was only one of two contenders left in the air, Dearborn threw down his bat and announced, "I think I need to go to the nurse." He almost made it to the grass before slumping sideways off his broom.

James blew his whistle. "Stop it, Mina!" he yelled, getting all blustery and panicky and red in the face, "McGonagall isn't going to let you play! Neither is Remus! I need a beater I can actually use, and you're scaring everyone away!"

"I'm still here," said Suzi Kemp, scowling, "I'm the last one left. That means I win."

"That means I don't thrash little children," Mina corrected. She spared the girl a patronizing wave and ordered, "Run along now. Grownups are talking."

Kemp narrowed her brown eyes, drawing herself up (probably in a futile effort to look taller) and bellowed, "You can't be the beater, so I'm the beater! Deal with it!"

Sirius saw chasers Zane Creevy, Delwyn Jones, and seeker Gerald Walker backing slowly away from the impending massacre.

But Mina just laughed. She seemed vaguely impressed as she declared, "Listen, Blondie-" (That was it! How the hell would Mina know the girl was blonde?) "-You throw a decent elbow, and you've certainly got the most balls of anyone who showed up today, but the position is not open. In two years, it'll be all yours."

"You can't-"

"In the meantime," Mina interrupted, "Maybe you can talk Captain Tyrant-O-Saurus Rex into letting you practice with us. We'll train you proper." She tipped her sunglasses up, settling them in her windswept hair. Her deep blue eyes gave a lively sparkle and then a playful wink. "How about it, Prongs?" the girl asked, "If we start building a second-string now, then the team might not go to shit when we all graduate."

James gaped, flabbergasted. "You..." he stammered, "You bloody... the whole time... fucking... made me believe..."

"Ya," laughed Mina, darting in close enough to ruffle his already chaotic mane, "Couldn't resist. What do you think? Best reveal ever?"

With one more carp-like gawp, James threw his gangly arms around the girl.

Sirius was initially uncertain if his friend was trying to hug Mina or strangle her.

"I am going to _kill you_," James bellowed affectionately, crushing his self-proclaimed sister against his chest, "You _horrible_, _wicked_, _deranged_ _demon_!"

"And _brilliant_," Mina wheezed, flailing a bit and seemingly struggling for breath, "Don't forget _brilliant_. Although I would also accept _criminal mastermind_ or _pranking prodigy_ or-"

"Shut _up_," sighed James. He snuggled her tighter, adding, "Mad as a fucking _hatter_. That's what you are."

Mina giggled. And then she finally got around to remembering that Sirius was there. His girl sent a smoldering, downright predatory smirk over James's shoulder.

Sirius almost completely forgot to be angry with her.

xxXxx

Halfway through the process of tearing her boyfriend out of his obscenely attractive quidditch kit, Mina moaned against the strapping lad's sinful lips and did her best to outline a plan for the rest of the evening:

1. Get Sirius naked. (The linchpin of Operation Everybody Else Better Stay the Hell out of the Locker Room.)

2. Actually make it to the privacy of the girls' locker room. (Not quite as urgent, but Mina had a big problem with the idea of randoms getting a glimpse of Sirius's toned arse or chiseled abdomen or the _perfect_ V where his hipbones framed his lusciously, ludicrously adorable navel...)

_Ahem_.

3. Admire and memorize. _Everything_. With the thoroughness of an obsessive compulsive goblin counting its gold. (And that made her sound a bit possessive, ya? Like she fucking cared.)

4. Think of an appropriately naughty way to celebrate the return of her sight and to reward Sirius for his sometimes annoying but always quite sweet doting during her recuperation. (Maybe she'd give blowjobs a try. Handjobs were fun and always returned in kind. Sirius made the most tantalizing faces and noises when she touched him, and he had such wonderfully long, thick fingers. His tongue was likely just as talented...)

_Ahem... A-HEM! Focus, girl!_

_Right. Stupid voice of reason..._

7...

Wait. Um... 5?

5. Shower. Mina's first full moon since... May (bloody _May_?! She was a _terrible_ twin!) might be fraught with tension as it was. Letting Moony smell another male, let alone another packmate on his sister would be asking for trouble. (Plus there was the potential for awkward morning-after conversations if Remus somehow managed to remember such a detail.)

6...

No. That was it. Naked. Privacy. Admire. Blowjob. Shower.

Simple and elegant. Not classy, but so classic.

Pinning Sirius against the stadium wall, Mina continued to explore his mouth and yanked hard at the unnecessarily complex closure of his trousers. "Get these off, Pads," she panted, "Now."

His grin spread slowly, his rumbling chuckle causing a very distracting shiver of heat to dance through the girl's eager body. "Don't think so," he countered.

Mina pulled back a bit. Her intention was to repeat the demand for the removal of superfluous garments and to call her boyfriend a pugnacious sod (a description he detested because he thought _pugnacious_ meant a comparison to a pug (_"yappy, squash-faced vermin!"_ he always shouted, _"Celandine Dalton, now she's pugnacious! Looks like she ran herself nose-first into a wall!"_)). However, the girl instead found herself once again helplessly sidetracked by the _sight_ of him.

His glossy obsidian hair, pulled half out of its functional ponytail and fanned around his lithe neck and broad shoulders, shimmering even in the dim light of the passage...

His flushed cheeks, still a bit too emaciated, the sharp bones pulling against creamy pale skin, every pore a bloody masterpiece...

His haughty, mulish jaw line, set at a stubborn, somewhat annoyed angle...

His eyes-

Mina frowned, tenderly reaching up to trace the faint circles of smudgy bruises around his vivid, widely dilated eyes. "You aren't sleeping," she murmured, vaguely aware of an impending pout, "Pads, if you're not sleeping, why the hell aren't you not sleeping with me?"

He blinked at her, taking his time pulling his wet lips into a mocking smirk. "Want to rephrase, love?" he teased.

Giving his trousers another aggravated yank, Mina replied, "No. Want to stop playing coy and start taking your damn clothes off?"

"No," he declared, hands deliberately, maddeningly motionless on her hips, "After that nefarious stunt you just pulled, I think you deserve to wait."

Mina glared at him. "Bloody _tease_," she snarled, attacking his godly collarbones, his stiff, tawny nipples with her lips and teeth and tongue. Grinding against his obvious bulge. Cursing wildly at the uncooperative clasp of his trousers.

Judging by Sirius's helpless shudders and moans, the girl was very close to getting her way.

"_Ahem_!"

Dear Merlin. After years of being neglected and ignored, the annoying voice of reason had escaped from inside Mina's head.

"_AHEM!_"

How did one kill a rogue voice of reason? Stake through the heart?

(Mina really hoped so.)

"If you two are _quite_ finished..."

Bloody hell. Trust Lily Evans to intrude at the worst possible moment.

(A rogue voice of reason would've been so much more fun.)

"Not even close," Mina spat, not bothering to be concerned that she and her boyfriend had been caught shirtless and mid grope, "So if _you_ don't mind-"

"I mind!" Evans squeaked.

A reluctant glance in the direction of the invasion revealed that the slender redhead had turned the color of a tomato and that she was hiding her eyes behind both hands.

She also appeared to have no intention of leaving.

"Evans," Mina groaned, dropping her forehead against Sirius's sternum, "What is it going to take to get you to go away?"

The prefect huffed and demanded, "What did you say to Greta Rudiger this morning?"

Though it seemed like it should've, the name did not ring a single blasted bell. "Who?"

"Ravenclaw keeper," Sirius answered. His hands drifted to the small of her back, thumbs moving in distracting circles against her feverish skin, "You did her fortune at breakfast."

Mina pictured the individual in question. She had soft russet-and-rose-gold curls and a small pointed nose and was hopelessly obsessed with one of the Hufflepuff chasers. According to Mac, he was the only reason the girl had joined the squad in the first place; unfortunately, the strapping lad was too dumb or too clueless (or smart money on _both_) to notice the infatuation. "I said she and Davies would have a moron baby together," Mina recalled, "And I told her to buy a canoe."

"You told her she was in danger of drowning," corrected Lily. She peered cautiously between her fingers and then let her hands drop away from her flushed freckled face.

Shoulder's tensing as her annoyance became anger, Mina snapped, "Well if you knew that already, then why the fuck did you have to come down here and bother us?!"

"Because she just drowned," Evans answered, matter-of-fact.

Mina's head whipped up and around. She stared at Evans in complete shock.

"The seventh-year Care of Magical Creatures class was by the lake today," the redhead somberly explained, "They were studying a hippocampus, but at the end of the period, one of the boys spooked it. Greta was petting it at the time, and when it dove, her bracelet got stuck in its scales."

There was more staring. Long, edgy silence.

"Holy shit," Mina stammered, "So... she's... _dead_?"

Evans frowned. "No."

"You just said she drowned!" growled Sirius. (Morgana's crack, he was blisteringly hot when he was mad, mouth full of fangs and eyes full of molten rock...)

Nodding, Evans replied, "She did. She was under for nearly ten minutes. She would've died if Davies hadn't jumped in and found her. He pulled her out and performed CPR. Apparently he lifeguards during the summer-"

"Then she _almost_ drowned!" Sirius bellowed, "_Almost_! Fuck's sake, Evans! What is wrong with you?!"

With an indignant glower, the prefect replied, "Her heart and breathing stopped as a result of being submerged too long in water. That's what drowning is."

"But she's fine now?" Mina prodded, not wanting to get caught up in a stupid argument about the semantics of drowning. (Really, she had better things to do and better people to do them with.)

Besides, Rudiger was an idiot, but she seemed decent other than that. She was a good keeper. And Mina wasn't in the habit of wishing people dead just because they were idiots; the earth's population probably couldn't take such a hit.

Evans nodded. "Yes," the redhead said, "She's recovering in the Hospital Wing, sobbing hysterically and telling anyone who will listen that _you_ predicted what happened."

Chuckling in... relief, disbelief, Mina declared, "Well, that's great. Really. Thanks for the update. Anything else before you bugger off?"

"Oh, for the love of..." Evans complained, "Try to think with your upstairs brain for a moment!"

Mina's eyes narrowed dangerously. She countered, "My upstairs brain says to turn you into a slug."

"Sunshine," interrupted Sirius, "I think she means we have to hide."

Evans gave a nod, tucking her annoyingly glossy and tidy flaming-claret hair behind a dainty ear. "Dumbledore will want to speak with you," she announced, "It will probably be a very long talk. Long enough to interfere with your... plans... _With Remus_."

Again, stares and silence.

Squirming nervously under the scrutiny, Evans continued, "Or whatever you call them. Hospital visits? Nature walks? I know he's been missing you on them, and it would be a shame if he had to miss you for another month just because one of your completely unfunny jokes blew up in your face."

Mina's upstairs brain spluttered and struggled to understand what Evans was implying. Sure, the prissy prefect knew about the Furry Secret, but she didn't know about the rest...

Unless she totally did...

Unless someone totally told her...

Unless Lily "Never Met a Rule She Wouldn't Shag" Evans totally knew that four-fifths of the Marauders were illegal Animagi...

"What do you know?" Mina demanded. She shoved away from Sirius began to advance on the startled prefect.

Sirius held Mina back, looping a solid arm around the girl's bare stomach and actually plucking her off the ground. He sighed, "Thanks for the warning, Evans. We'll be sure to stay out of sight."

Evans nodded and scampered off.

Kicking futilely at the air (trying to ignore the delightfully solid chest against her back), Mina shouted, "Padfoot! Put me the fuck down!"

"Why?" he chuckled, nuzzling the nape of her neck, "So you can get in another topless cat fight with Evans? Not that I wouldn't enjoy that, but-"

"Padfoot," Mina interrupted, suspicions percolating, "What does Evans know?"

Rather than answer, Sirius peeled Mina's bra strap off her shoulder with his teeth.

And as much as that was _mind-numbingly and panty-meltingly sexy_, Mina was having none of it. "Oh, don't you dare," she scolded, elbowing her boyfriend's skinny ribs, "Who told? Was it Mac? I am going to kick her massive arse up and down the castle-"

"Prongs," Sirius declared. He released her and let her turn in the cage of his arms. Let her see his expression of willful resolve. "Prongs told. He... it was after you... left... He needed someone to talk to, and the rest of us weren't quite up to the task..."

Mina considered the new information, doing her best to formulate an appropriate response. Finally, she settled on, "Fuck."

xxXxx

It was, quite honestly, the most boring full moon that the Marauders had thus far been through together.

Moony crowded Sunny into a previously _marked_ corner of the Shack, curled around her, and refused to move for the remainder of the evening. The werewolf growled warningly when any other pack members approached, but he was otherwise completely content to lick and nuzzle and snuggle his little sister. Whining and sighing and whimpering, lamenting all the months they'd been apart.

And although the two cuddling wolves made an adorable (if somewhat peculiar) tableau, they weren't very entertaining.

To pass the time, Wormtail dozed in a nest of shredded newspaper; Padfoot scratched and licked him himself in rather indecent places and waggled around the trashed room, sniffing and snuffling and exploring with typical canine exuberance.

Prongs kept watch at the entrance to the tunnel. No matter how hard he tried, the stag couldn't talk himself out of the role of the stolid sentinel.

There was very little chance that Snape would be stupid enough to make another attempt at infiltrating the Shack, but Prongs didn't feel comfortable trusting his friends' safety to that particular Slytherin's common sense.

Early in the morning, after no incidents, the four Animagi left their peacefully sleeping post-lunar friend and headed back to the school.

James, genius that he was, had arranged a rather exceptional alibi.

"Oh, good morning, Professor," he greeted as the classroom door (locked from the outside) finally clicked and swung open.

McGonagall frowned at the four teens lounging all over the floor of the seldom-used space. "What is the meaning of this?" she demanded brusquely, "We have been looking for you since yesterday! You spent the night here?"

"For once," Sirius declared, grinning merrily as he bounded to his feet and offered his girlfriend a hand, "It really wasn't our fault. We were hanging out after quidditch, trying to cheer Mina up-"

"And Peeves locked us in," contributed Peter. He rubbed his pale, bleary eyes and yawned, "Would you believe that? Us! After all we've done for him over the years!"

Nodding dutifully and offering her own portion of the tale, Mina grumbled, "We couldn't figure out what he did to the blasted door. When I get my hands on that twisted wretch-"

"Enough," McGonagall interrupted. Her frown deepened, beady eyes calculating behind her square specs, "I will speak with Peeves. You boys go to breakfast. Miss Lupin, you are to come with me. The headmaster would like to have a few words."

Fiddling with the thick shades she didn't need at all anymore (but had decided to continue wearing in order to see how long people would go on believing that she was blind), Mina stood and answered, "Just a few? Has he come down with laryngitis? Usually I'm treated to a veritable oratory."

McGonagall's expression did not seem to be one that invited further commentary, however clever and amusing it might be.

Mina, of course, did not appear to care. She'd been quite cranky ever since her plans with Sirius the night before had gotten "sidetracked." (James stuck his fingers in his ears and hummed loudly every time Sirius tried to explain what those plans had been or what "sidetracked" meant; why the mangy bastard thought James should know at all was beyond comprehension.)

"What am I accused of this time?" the girl demanded, hands fisted at her slim hips, "Because I haven't done anything! None of us have! You might've dubbed us the usual suspects, but that doesn't mean we're to blame for every single thing that goes wrong in this place!"

"Right," Peter agreed, throwing in yet another resolute nod, "Just most things."

Sighing, Mina murmured, "Pete, in the very near future, you and I are going to discuss unhelpful remarks and how to avoid making them."

"Miss Lupin," McGonagall snapped, "You are not in trouble, but you most certainly will be if you don't quit dawdling and come with me at once."

"Sure, fine," the girl answered, carelessly swinging her white cane for show, "Guess _I_ don't get breakfast. Or a shower. Even though I missed dinner and stink of piss. But if the headmaster needs me oh-so urgently-"

"And I will thank you to stow the sarcasm," McGonagall declared. She placed a gentle old hand on Mina's shoulder and guided the still quite uncooperative girl away.

The remaining three boys shared a chuckle.

"So, Prongs," Sirius began, looping long arms around both his friends' shoulders, "What did you end up bribing Peeves with to get him to lock us in here and provide such a wonderful alibi?"

James shivered. "Let's not speak of it... But we should probably avoid open flames for at least the next month..."

xxXxx

Lupin appeared toward the end of double Herbology. Her sunglasses were gone, as was her cane. She didn't offer the professor a single word of explanation before joining her usual gang (minus Remus) at the workstation in the back corner of the greenhouse.

The teens put their heads together and began to whisper furiously.

And when the Marauders whispered, wise people got nervous.

Lily Evans definitely considered herself wise.

After class, the troublesome element disappeared. And the only thing worse than seeing them whisper was not seeing what they did next.

_Tense_ was not a sufficient word to describe the mood at lunch.

Fortunately, Lily had a bit of an inside line and felt fairly confident that, at least for the moment, the Marauders were simply visiting Remus in the Hospital Wing.

To ease her own mind and to say hello to her own friend, the girl decided to swing by

"Get the hell out of here!" shouted a vaguely familiar female voice, "I swear to Merlin if you don't-"

"You'll continue mooing at me?" Mina. Of course. "Well, fuck. That's the only marginally persuasive threat, and I still say _jump up your own arse_."

"You arrogant little bitch-"

"You're one to talk. I mean, not the little part. _Obviously_-"

"You can't speak to me like that!"

"And yet I just did. Miraculous, isn't it?"

Between Remus's bed and Greta Rudiger's, Mina stood toe-to-toe with seventh-years Cecily Merrigan and Paulette Kemp. Merrigan seemed to be doing the shouting, but since she was the Gryffindor and Kemp was the Hufflepuff, that wasn't terribly surprising. Merrigan's ire wasn't surprising either; she and Kemp were Rudiger's two best friends.

"You could've killed her, you horrid girl!" Merrigan screamed, plump cheeks flushed red and thick arms shaking on either side of her thick torso. Her light brown hair had fallen half out of its normally neat knot. "And now you have the nerve to show your face here?!" the stocky seventh-year continued, "Greta has never done a damn thing to you! Why would you come after her like this?!"

With an annoyed eye roll, Mina flippantly declared, "Again, I didn't do anything. Oh. That reminds me." She dug into her trouser pocket and fished out a galleon, which she flicked into Rudiger's lap. "Headmaster says I have to return all my profits," explained Mina, "And tell all my customers that I am not now, nor have I ever been able to see into the future."

"Aren't you supposed to apologize, too?" Remus prodded, dressing quickly (probably in an effort to get his sister out of there).

Mina stuck her tongue out at him and then faced Rudiger again. "Sorry you're so gullible," the sandy-haired sixth-year stated earnestly.

Brown eyes wide and bloodshot, auburn curls rather lifeless, Rudiger continued to cower under her blankets. "But you knew," she whispered, "You warned me about the water. And you said Keith and I would get together-"

"I was fucking with you," Mina laughed, flashing a cruel smirk, "Just a bit of fun."

"Didn't I say?" crowed Merrigan, squeezing her rather generous backside in next to Rudiger, putting an arm around the trembling Ravenclaw's slim shoulders, "She sold you a bunch of rubbish and then got her nasty friends to help make it come true-"

"OI!" Potter cried. His irritated pout caused his nose and forehead to scrunch boyishly.

Glaring, Mina added, "And, once more with feeling, _we didn't do anything_. I already had the galleon. What would be the point of orchestrating a near drowning when I'd already been paid?"

"To make more people believe you were psychic!" chirped Paulette Kemp. The statuesque Hufflepuff bombshell spoke in an octave so high it was almost outside the range of normal human hearing.

Mina shook her head and laughed. "I had plenty on the hook," she declared, "I wasn't about to get greedy and draw attention to the operation. I don't actually enjoy Dumbledore's scoldings, nor am I thrilled to be relinquishing my hard-earned galleons. This has been quite an inconvenience for me as well."

"Oh, well poor, poor you," Merrigan spat, "Now get out and leave us alone!"

A dangerous glint crept into Mina's murky blue eyes. She took a step closer to Merrigan, leaning in and demanding, "Or what?"

"Sunny," Remus growled, hurriedly tying his tie, "Stop it. I want to go to lunch."

Mina smirked. "In a minute." She leaned in closer, staring the older girl down and repeating, "_Or what_, Merrigan?"

The brunette didn't last long against the chilly, downright bloodthirsty glare. She looked away and remained silent, fleshy face going red.

Mina stood, still smirking. "Ya," she said, "That's what I thought." She grinned sweetly at Rudiger, murmuring, "Hurry up and get better. Ravenclaw stands even less of a chance than usual without you in the rings."

Remus grabbed his sister by the elbow and began physically dragging her from the room. The rest of the Marauders and Mary followed. Potter smiled and waved when he noticed Lily still lingering in the doorway.

Lily was far more concerned with seeing Paulette Kemp raise her arm.

"_Expelliarmus_," Lily declared, easily catching the Hufflepuff's wand when it sailed through the air. She set the long willow stick down on a nearby end table. "Attacking fellow students," the redhead reprimanded, "Especially in front of two prefects, is not a good idea."

The Marauders paused and, as one, aimed eerily similar expressions of barely contained rage over their shoulders.

(If someone was forcing her to bet about such a thing, Lily would've been inclined to place a large sum money on Kemp having immediately wet herself.)

"It's all fun and games until someone tries to hex me in the back," Mina drawled. She and the rest resumed their exit, the girl calling, "See you around, Kemp."

Lily chased after them, hoping to somehow prevent a massacre.

Just outside the door, she passed Keith Davies, who was carrying a clumsy bouquet of wildflowers.

xxXxx

Being out twenty-seven galleons didn't bother Mina too much. (She would, undoubtedly, think of a new money-making scheme or simply win the funds off her friends. Gambling was one of their favorite pastimes, and the Marauders bet on everything from the entrées at dinner to the outcome of elections.)

Being verbally flensed by the headmaster hadn't been that bad either. (Apparently faking psychic abilities was unethical, even more so when one charged for the service; letting everyone continue to believe that she was blind was inappropriate and unkind, regardless of the psychological or tactical advantages during quidditch games. Who knew?)

Being assigned a few detentions was expected and would've been tolerable. (If not for the catch. If not for Dumbledore's little attempt at making the punishment more of a real punishment.)

The choice had something to do with encouraging Mina to appreciate the "mysteries of Divination."

As far as Mina was concerned, the only "mystery" was how so many people seemed to fall for such utter tripe.

"Miss Lupin, I presume?" the professor greeted gruffly.

Finishing her ascent of the ridiculous ladder, Mina nodded and remarked, "I don't suppose you'd be amenable to letting me get back to reality and just _telling_ the headmaster that I sat through your nonsense? It would save us both a lot of time and insult." She really wasn't looking forward to this; she'd never actually met or interacted with Professor Giles, but she'd heard plenty about him from Sirius. Words like _humorless_ and _cantankerous _got thrown around a lot (and that from a lad who thought McGonagall was a laugh riot).

Professor Giles narrowed his rheumy eyes and pursed his tiny, wrinkled mouth. "You suppose correctly," he snapped, stubby arms folded across the drab olive waistcoat to which he was so partial (never mind that it had clearly been in its prime some time during the mid-40s, actually fashionable long before). "And I'll not pretend that I'm thrilled with this arrangement either, but Albus was quite insistent. I must ask that you attempt a modicum of respect for my profession, or at least refrain from voicing your snide remarks."

With a shrug, Mina replied, "It's your right to ask, but I won't give any guarantees. Can we do the tea thingie first? I'm dying for a cuppa."

Sighing, Professor Giles motioned toward the center of the dim, round, sparsely decorated room, to the small table and two rigid wooden chairs on either side. After the pair sat, the professor conjured a kettle and poured the tea. There was no damn sugar. They drank in silence until only dregs were left. Then the squat balding man instructed Mina in the proper swirling and draining of the leaves, in willing her mind to concentrate on revealing her destiny.

(Flat-out torture. Dumbledore was a sadist.)

"Tasseomancy is all about interpreting symbols," Giles explained, staring deeply into the muck left in his own drinking vessel, furrowing his craggy face, "Look and tell me what you see. I'll interpret."

Mina did as she was told. She spent several long moments squinting at the indistinct blobs of waterlogged tea leaves. "There's an artichoke playing the bagpipes. And there's a vulture with devil horns shitting on an hourglass. I believe this indicates a traumatic acid trip in my future-"

Giles snatched the cup from her, turning it in his small, ruddy hands. His brow furrowed and his mouth puckered until the man began to look a bit like a goat. A goat with a salt-and-pepper half-tonsure and a drab olive waistcoat. "These are..." he began, carefully banishing the cup and summoning a clean one, "Bad omens. Let's start over."

Snorting, Mina chuckled, "Is this your sad attempt at scaring me? _Ooooo_! Bad omens! I'm quaking. You've certainly taught me a lesson. Can I go?"

With a dark, menacing glare, Giles murmured, "There are larger forces at work in the world, young lady. You should not mock what you don't understand."

"I understand perfectly," quipped Mina, "You're paid a nice little salary to guess at what's going to happen next in people's lives, despite the fact that you do so without much accuracy. I collect a couple galleons doing the same thing, and even guess right a few times, and I'm punished for it. You're called a seer, and I'm called a con-artist, but, frankly, there's no damn difference."

Bristling, still rather goatish, Giles poured her another cup of tea and glared until Mina began to drink. He didn't let her get a look at the soggy remains before once again snatching the porcelain and inspecting it warily. "More signs of imminent danger," he pronounced, suddenly with an odd note of concern in his bleating voice, "Peril and evil. Treachery."

Mina threw her head back and laughed. "No shit," she answered, "How about something I couldn't get from a newspaper?"

The professor took out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and lit one with his wand. He didn't say anything when Mina did the same.

Together, they sat. Not speaking. And that was fine. Preferable, actually. Giles refilled her tea every time she was done and frowned into the previous cup while she drank the next.

Mina mainly just watched the smoke, staring as it billowed and curled and tangled into gauzy, jumbled images that were gone before they could be assigned meaning. Nearly an hour passed like that. In all honesty, it was one of the strangest but (not counting her uncomfortably full bladder) least strenuous detentions she had ever endured.

When the professor failed to provide another round of beverages, Mina looked over at him and found that he seemed to have fallen asleep (somehow; the only part of Mina able to slumber in the rock-hard chair was her bum, which twinged and tingled unpleasantly).

Giles's eyes were shut, and his dry lips were slack, his yellowed fingers millimeters from being burned by the glowing dogend. Although she saw that as permission to leave, Mina couldn't help taking pity on the weird old man, if just for the fact that he hadn't bothered her too much; she crossed to his side of the table and gently plucked the smoldering cigarette.

His other hand shot out and seized her wrist, grinding the bones together painfully, squeezing a bruise into the girl's soft flesh.

"OW! What the fuck-"

The professor's eyes shot wide open and rolled back in his head until only the bloodshot whites showed. "_Bleed_." His voice was flat, distant. "_You will bleed_."

Mina tried again to yank her arm out of the unrelenting grip, shrieking, "Get off me, pervert!"

Giles pulled in a rattling breath, hand constricting tighter as he added, "_A one-legged man brings dire news from the south. And Death flies on emerald wings_."

"I will punch you in your fucking face!" Mina threatened. Striking professors was a frequent fantasy, but the girl really didn't want to resort to such a drastic measure. She would though, if that's what it took to keep the lunatic from tearing her arm off.

"_The dreams_," Giles continued. He was beginning to tremble, like he was having a fit. "_Your mother fears the dreams_-"

Mina socked him right in the third eye. Hard as she could because who the hell did he think he was to talk about her pathetic excuse for a mother.

It did the trick, anyways; the professor released Mina's arm and toppled out of his chair, lying motionless, face-down on the classroom floor.

For a moment, Mina thought she'd killed him.

The speed with which she began plotting how to dispose of the stumpy little body was impressive although slightly disturbing.

But then he groaned, rousing slowly and starting to roll over.

Halfway back to Gryffindor Tower, Mina realized that she'd sprained her ankle cannon-balling down the bloody ladder.

xxxxxxxxxx

TA DA! Another scheduled update! And a long exciting chapter! I am _awesome_!

Hope that was as enjoyable to read as it was to write. Reviews are love :)


	29. Unfortunate Word Choice

Part 29 – Unfortunate Word Choice

"Miss Lupin-"

"I didn't do anything!" Mina exploded, successfully attracting the bewildered attention of half the Hall, "It was self-defense!"

McGonagall's expression slid seamlessly from startled to suspicious. "_What_ was self-defense?" the professor demanded, beady eyes narrowed behind square specs.

Oh. Shit. So apparently the Divination professor still hadn't blabbed about their little incident the week before...

"Uh..." Mina drawled, stalling while her brain spun together a plausible tale, "There was this... this bloody great big giant spider. Ya. Size of a dachshund, I swear. And I didn't _mean_ to hurt him, but when something fanged and hairy crawls across your face in the middle of the night, it's just instinct. I tried to find him after I threw him against the wall. I wanted to take him to Kettleburn, to make sure the beast was ok-"

"_Miss Lupin_," McGonagall interrupted, mouth a tight, colorless gash in her somber face, "Why in Merlin's name would I be coming to talk to you about a spider?"

Mina shrugged and countered, "I don't know. Why are you?"

"I'm _not_!"

"Well, alright then," the girl hurriedly agreed, "Glad that's settled. I really need to get to Potions-"

"Sit," the professor ordered.

Mina did, glumly. She'd been so close to escaping breakfast without reprimand. Damn Mondays.

The boys gave her looks of mingled concern and confusion as McGonagall shooed them and a few stragglers away. Soon, the Great Hall stood otherwise empty.

Finally, the rigid Scot sat on the bench beside Mina and regarded her with a fair amount of frustration (and just maybe a miniscule nugget of affection). "I have been informed that you missed your detention last night," McGonagall began, "I assume you have a very good reason?"

_Professor Giles is a fucking lunatic, and (shocking as it sounds) I don't want to have to punch him again._

"Er," Mina said instead, "Cramps?"

McGonagall closed her eyes and sighed, scolding, "If you were feeling poorly enough to neglect your obligations, then you should've gone to the nurse-"

"Because she _loves_ me."

"You need to be more respectful of Professor Giles's time," the woman continued, ignoring the outburst, "Especially with his recent injury-"

"You can't pin that on me!" Mina crowed. Striking a faculty member was probably the closest she'd come to getting expelled (which was saying something), even though she really had been defending herself against the arsehole's insane gibberish and bruising grip.

(Seriously, she had a dark purple handprint on her wrist. If it weren't for glamour charms, she would've had to go around in long sleeves.)

(Still, with her record, she was kind of nervous about being believed.)

Seeming kind of... sad, McGonagall placed a gentle hand on Mina's shoulder. "Of course not," the prim woman soothed, "My dear, I'm sorry if you feel like you're being persecuted, but the other professors and I really don't go around inventing ways to blame you and your friends for everything that goes wrong in the school. We do our best to be fair to all our students, even... _rambunctious_ ones like you. And we certainly wouldn't be cruel and petty enough to punish you for an old man slipping in the shower."

Mina raised a speculative eyebrow, repeating (with some disbelief), "He slipped in the shower?"

"I'm afraid so," answered McGonagall, "Poor soul got a nasty bump to the head. And he isn't terribly fond of Madame Mary either, so he refuses to let her sort the bruise."

_Holy shit_, Mina thought to herself, _Am I actually getting away with this?_

(The girl really wished she would've known that before spending the whole weekend in a twitchy haze of paranoia.)

"I'll let the absence slide this time," McGonagall went on, oblivious to how much trouble Mina should've been in, "But I expect you to be punctual and well-behaved during the remainder of your punishment. And please be kind to Professor Giles. I don't want him overexerting himself. He's been looking quite haggard since his accident."

Mina nodded, mutely.

Strange tapping and footsteps echoed inside the wide Hall. Seconds later, that Moody fellow appeared in the doorway, leaning heavily on a cane.

Immediately, Mina's gaze was drawn to the thick wooden peg that had replaced his left leg from the knee down.

"Good morning, Alastor," McGonagall greeted brightly, a girlish smile gracing her weathered face and a faint flush climbing her slender neck, "How was Morocco?"

The gruff auror stiffly answered, "Found what I was looking for. Is he in? I need a word."

_"A one-legged man brings dire news from the south..."_

_No. Fucking. Way._ Mina thought to herself.

Seeming almost coy, McGonagall replied, "We weren't expecting you until later in the day, so I believe Albus stepped out for a bit. He should be back within the hour. Perhaps you'd like some breakfast while you wait?"

"Kind of you, but no thanks," he grumbled. His wary eyes tore themselves away from McGonagall and landed on Mina. "Lupin," Moody muttered, "Giving Minerva a hard time already?"

"Where's your bloody leg?" the sandy-haired she-wolf blurted.

"_Mina_!" snapped McGonagall, horrified and embarrassed on the girl's behalf, "Goodness sake, young lady! Show some manners!"

With a gravely chuckle, Moody declared, "It's alright, Minerva. A bit refreshing actually. People have been awkwardly avoiding the subject since I had the damn thing off."

McGonagall's flush spread to her face, growing darker and more annoyed.

Moody caught on quickly. "Oh," he backtracked, running his free hand through his grizzled dark gray hair, "I didn't mean- not _you_. You're not people."

Mina would've liked to come to the ineloquent auror's aid but was unable to resist snickering quite unhelpfully at the unfortunate turn of phrase.

Huffing indignantly, McGonagall stood and snarled, "I have a lesson. I trust you will both get yourselves where you need to be." After a sweep and a storm, the professor vanished out the staff door.

"Damn," Moody drawled, "Every time..."

Mina jumped to her feet. Feeling kind of high off yet another inexplicably lucky exoneration, the girl laughed, "From that display, I'm going to assume they don't teach _Art of Seduction_ during auror training."

Glaring, rugged battle-worn face twisting in displeasure, Moody growled, "No, but they certainly teach _Art of Turning Snotty Little Girls into Woodlice_."

"Someone's cranky," Mina teased.

Moody whirled around, starting toward the door. "C'mon," he ordered, "I might as well take you to class now that I've got some time to kill. Can't have you running around on your own."

"I don't need supervision," the girl insisted playfully.

That elicited a hearty chuckle from Moody. Cane and peg tapping against the stones, he limped along and declared, "There's an impressively thick file in my office that says otherwise. Where are we heading?"

"Potions," Mina replied. They walked a few moments in silence before she guessed, "Was it a landmine? No... a bear trap?"

Moody rolled his eyes. "Nothing that exciting," he grumbled, "It actually happened years ago. I was Swansea, taking down this mad bastard who was torturing his muggle neighbors. Let my guard down for half a second and got grazed by a curse. Nasty, dark rotting thing. Killed most of the nerves and muscles below my knee, but the healers managed to at least slow the spread until lately. It was either cut out the damaged tissue or say goodbye to an appendage I'd miss quite a bit more. A two-month suspension seemed like as good a time as any to have it dealt with."

"Ouch," said Mina. The explanation made sense; during her blindness, the girl had been able to tell Moody from the smell of decay that lingered around him; she was happy to note that the smell was gone. Now, he smelled like exotic spices and rich soil. "Well, at least you're up and about," she declared, "So... is that what you were doing in Morocco? Getting your leg chopped off?"

"_Amputated_," Moody corrected, "And no. Mungo's did that. Quick and painless." He stopped for a moment, shifting all his weight onto his remaining foot and lifting the peg into the air, knocking his cane sharply against the dark wood as he stated, "I was picking up this beauty. _Fraxinus dimorpha_. Species of ash that grows only in the one area. Hard as a teenager in a whorehouse. A woodworker friend sorted it for me, charmed the living daylights out of it, too. Would probably take a dragon to break, and soon as I get more used to using it, I should be fit to resume my duties next month."

"Neato," chirped Mina, "So... you're not here delivering dire news?"

Suddenly unreadable, the man asked, "Why would you say that?"

Mina shrugged. "No reason... so is that a no?"

(Fucking Giles was just in her head; there was no way any of his crazy ramblings would come true.)

(And even if they did, total coincidence, like Mina's prediction about Greta Rudiger's near drowning.)

Moody frowned and growled, "Mind your own business."

"You don't have to tell me what the news is," the girl pestered, "Just so long as you wouldn't describe it as dire."

"What do I look like?" the brawny man snapped, "A bloody thesaurus? It's just something I need to discuss with Dumbledore. And it's none of your concern."

Fuck.

The remaining journey to the Potions classroom was a bit uncomfortable, so much so that Mina didn't even think of the fact that arriving late to her lesson with an auror escort might give the wrong idea.

"Oh-ho!" Slughorn cried jubilantly, fat face breaking into a fat smile beneath his fat, walrusy moustache, "What's this? You've finally nabbed her! Good show, old fellow! Do make sure the charges stick this time!"

(He'd never liked Mina, and the dislike had only grown since she was accused of (but never prosecuted for (and only half guilty of)) raiding his stashes of Polyjuice and Veritaserum; unfortunately (for the both of them) Mina had scored high enough on the Potions OWL to earn herself a spot in the NEWT class and had promised Remus she'd continue with the subject (since it was supposedly so important).)

Glaring heatedly, Moody growled, "Horace, I don't appreciate your insinuation. This brave girl and her friend over there selflessly saved the lives of a good chunk of my department, and they battled two Death Eaters to do it."

A sizeable portion of the sixth year stared in awe; the way gossip travelled at Hogwarts, the entire student body would know before nightfall.

Mina had to fervently command herself not to blush. "He's kidding," she declared, offering a deranged grin in an attempt to salvage her reputation, "I'm a dangerous criminal!"

Moody turned to leave, but not before he gave her a shove in the direction of the other Marauders. "That's nothing to joke about, Lupin," he muttered, "Now behave yourself. And _stay alert_."

Pouting over being scolded and outed for her heroic deeds, Mina stomped across the room to join Sirius at their lab table.

He sniggered, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, well," Slughorn began again, flustered, "As I was saying. I'm quite certain the culprit is in this class. I'm not going to point any fingers-" (But he would glare pointedly in Mina's direction.) "-I'm not even going to involve the headmaster as long as the missing vial is back on my desk before the end of the day."

"What's missing?" Mina whispered.

Sirius bent down close to her ear, his breath a delightful tickle. "Amortentia," the lad replied, "Slug-guts brewed up a batch to show us today, and apparently someone helped herself to a large vial before class."

"Ugh," Mina said in disgust, "Love potion? Who's stupid enough to mess with that?" She blinked. "And what makes you think it was a girl? Boys are perfectly capable of developing unhealthy obsessions. Just look at Prongs."

With a smirk, Sirius murmured, "Galleon says it's a bird."

"You're on," answered Mina.

At least some things were still normal.

xxXxx

"You still haven't told her?" James angrily accused, leaning against the wall outside the girls' loo, "You said you were just waiting for her sight to come back! I thought you talked about it after straight quidditch last Wednesday! I thought that was why Sunny was acting weird all weekend!"

Sighing wretchedly at the very idea of continuing to keep the secret of his abuse and his increasingly severe nightmares and claustrophobia, Sirius quietly declared, "I know. I tried. But she was all over me. I had a hard enough time just keeping her from ripping my trousers off-"

"Ew."

"And then Evans was there-"

"Stop."

"And I couldn't find our bloody shirts-"

"I will have you neutered."

The boys glowered at each other.

"And then what happened?" Peter squeaked, pale eyes wide with curiosity.

James and Sirius each thumped him on a different shoulder.

"And then," Sirius hissed, "Instead of the very fun things my very sexy girlfriend was very eager to do to me-"

"I can perform the procedure myself at any time. I'll tie you down and use a fucking rubber band."

"I spent the rest of the evening convincing Sunny not to obliviate Evans."

Blinking in confusion and hopefully forgetting his horrific threats, James wondered, "What? Why?"

Sirius huffed, "Because _you_ told the bloody prefect about..." How could he phrase _our illegal Animagihood _in the middle of a crowded hallway? "The, uh, _origin of our nicknames_."

James caught on quickly (much more quickly than Peter did), and the specky git had the grace to look a bit ashamed. "Well, that's not so bad," he insisted, "Lily is trustworthy. She even gave the heads-up about the Rudiger thing."

"Funny you should mention that," Edgar Bones interrupted, the tall Ravenclaw pushing his way out of the crowd, "I've been meaning to talk to you about it."

Making a face, Sirius demanded, "How long have you been lurking there, Ed?"

Ed returned a goofy, lopsided smile. "Long enough to be really curious about the origin of your nicknames," he chuckled, "But apparently only people James wants to shag are deemed worthy of learning such classified information."

Ignoring Sirius's bark of laughter, James grumbled, "State your purpose, Bones."

"Wotcher, Ed!" Mina greeted brightly. Emerging with Mary from the lavatory, the girl added, "Want to do me a favor and confess to these dumb sods that you stole the Amortentia?"

Flicking cinnamon fringe out of his similarly colored eyes, Ed warily responded, "Er, well, I didn't. I'm already in a splendid relationship, which is sort of what I wanted to talk to you about-"

"Give it up, Sunshine," Sirius interrupted, the group setting out for Muggle Studies, "It was probably Heloise Sinclair. With obvious mental illness like hers, she'll never snag a man unless she's got a mind-altering substance to add to her arsenal."

Mina snorted, "Sinclair spends more time staring at my tits than you do. I highly doubt she's trying to _snag a man_."

The assorted males were quiet for a few moments. If their brains were anything like Sirius's, they were all imaging Mina with the tall, blonde, unfortunately unbalanced but undeniably attractive Slytherin.

Very little clothing was involved in the daydream...

But Ed really seemed to be on a mission and was the first to pull himself out of the daze. His long cheeks went a bit pink, and the lad coughed awkwardly before announcing, "Right. Well. Anyways. Bernie and I have been dating for nearly a year now, and-"

"_Bernie_?" Mina repeated, giving a put-upon sigh, "Shit. First Macmillan, and now you? Why does everybody have to come out to me? I swear I don't have any problem with the gays! Stick your cock wherever you like! Just keep it away from me if you want to keep it!"

That _bit pink_ almost immediately became _all-over red_. "Bernardette," Ed gritted, "Bernardette Kemp."

At mention of the Kemp name, the humor instantly evaporated. Like water turning to steam with an angry hiss.

"Hear me out," the Ravenclaw pleaded, a hint of desperation and terror creeping into his deep voice, "Bernie doesn't want to see her sister hurt. And Paulette didn't mean it. She was just upset about what happened to Greta. What would you do if you thought someone had tried to kill one of your friends?"

"I'd destroy them," Mina snarled, "But I'd do it to their fucking face."

(Attacking a Marauder was foolish but usually not life-threatening; they were always looking for a good fight or feud or brawl or battle to pass the time. However, attacking a Marauder from behind was just plain suicidal; they were Gryffindors, after all, and cowardice offended them in a way that simple violence could not.)

Ed nodded, kind of wide-eyed, very deliberately keeping his distance. "Mistakes were made," he conceded, "Paulette would like to apologize, but she's too scared to come out of her dorm. So I thought, I dunno, maybe some sort of... parley?"

Though obviously still irate, Mina appeared to be sincerely considering the offer.

Her mind was very similar to Sirius's, so he figured it was a good bet that the girl was thinking about how much fun she could have pretending to be a pirate.

"Will there be rum?" Sirius joked.

xxXxx

The curse on the Defense professorship was well-known and well-documented. In the five years of school the Marauders had thus far completed, they'd had the privilege of being taught by five different instructors, none of whom returned after their rookie seasons, only two of whom even lasted the full term.

One of whom died. Stung on the cock by a bloody scorpion.

(Ok, that was actually a rumor the Marauders had spread. James couldn't remember the real cause of death, only that it had been as dreadfully boring as the professor himself.)

Now, already a week into sixth, the post was still open.

Until Dumbledore stood up at dinner. "Good evening, all," the old man declared, smiling beatifically through his silvery white beard, "I hope you've had another fruitful day of learning."

"Not really," Mina grumbled quietly, "I had another disappointing day of losing respect for my own fucking gender."

(Halfway through Muggle Studies, the Amortentia thief had revealed herself to be Alcina Zuniga. A bloody Ravenclaw. A bloody _prefect_. She'd been foolish enough not only to steal the enormous vial, but also to break it and splatter its contents during the lesson. Those unfortunate souls who'd been seated immediately around her (most of the first three rows; also known as the "Splash Zone") were still in the Hospital Wing with the mortified nurse, who was doing her absolute best to prevent an orgy while Slughorn sorted out the tricky antidote needed for topical exposure to such a powerful love potion.)

Smirking, spinning the galleon he'd won through his fingers, Sirius hugged his girlfriend closer and chuckled, "Don't sulk, Sunshine. We fought them off, didn't we?"

Mina glared. "Warren Grover and Aksel Augustine invited me to be the _meat in a Ravenclaw sandwich_," she growled, "And Tim Hightower wrote a _sonnet _about my vag. Nearly every girl affected tried to _mount _you. The _only_ way it could've been worse was if there'd been any Slytherins present."

Sirius's smirk widened. "I dunno," he said, "Things could've gotten interesting with you and Heloise Sinclair-"

From the bitten off gasp of pain that followed, James assumed Mina had finally found an effective way to end her boyfriend's juvenile amusement toward the incident.

(James was sure his own face was _still _scarlet after the many confessions of undying love and propositions of... other activities he had received while valiantly helping herd the victims to the infirmary.)

"-And so it is my pleasure to introduce your new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor." Apparently the headmaster's speech had continued despite the Marauder sidebar. Gesturing toward the tall, gaunt, ghostly pale woman standing in the shadows behind him, Dumbledore announced, "Miss Elisaveta Lazarov."

The restless hush in the hall became a squirming mass of indistinct whispers.

"Blimey, is that-"

"One of _those_ Lazarovs-"

"She's really-"

"He can't expect us to-"

"But I didn't pack any turtlenecks-"

"Somebody pass the bloody garlic bread-"

Across the table, grinning like her birthday had come early, Mina breathed, "Wicked."

xxXxx

Lily fancied herself an enlightened individual. A tolerant person overall. She had always been a firm believer in such adages as "don't judge a book by its cover," "there's some good in everyone," and even "it's never too late to mend your ways."

However, just the name _Lazarov_ had been enough to give the girl a rather severe case of spine-rattling chills, to make her dread walking back to the Tower alone.

Dumbledore was a genius and all, but sometimes the girl could only conjure stunned disbelief for the strange choices he made. Then again, he always had his reasons...

"Evans."

She whirled and was surprised to discover James Potter sauntering beside her on the way out of the Hall.

The smile he gave was nothing short of dashing. "Can you believe it?" Potter inquired, running his fingers through the perpetual disaster on top of his head, "A Lazarov. Sometimes I think Dumbledore's gone a bit round the bend."

Nodding, Lily quietly replied, "The decision is quite... odd. But I'm sure he knows what he's doing. He wouldn't hire her if he thought she posed a danger to us." After a brief beat, the redhead added, "I heard about what happened. With the Amortentia. Are you all ok?"

Potter chuckled, his high cheekbones taking on a distinct crimson stain. "Varying degrees of," he declared, "You and Remus missed quite a show. It was kind of a new experience, having girls embarrassingly throw themselves at _me_ for once instead of the other way around. I'm starting to see why you weren't a fan."

It was Lily's turn to blush. She tried to hide the color behind her hair. "_Starting _to see?" she teased, "I was under the impression you were a little sharper than that."

Hazel eyes bright with laughter, Potter responded, "Depends who you ask."

"PRONGS! WOULD YOU MOVE YOUR SKINNY ARSE ALREADY?"

He sighed and waved ahead to his waiting friends. "Must be off," he announced, "We've got this pirate thing with Ed-"

Lily genuinely had no idea how to react to that information.

"Then we have to make sure Mina gets to her 'Divination Appreciation' seminar on time," Potter continued babbling, "McGonagall was all over her for missing last night. Anyways, see you at breakfast."

And then he was gone. Before Lily could give in to the humiliating urge to request an escort back to the Tower. Before she could miss the days when he would've followed her there without being asked.

xxXxx

There was the Marauder Faction, which (as the name suggests) was made up solely of Marauders. (Mary refused to attend the parley; she said she had better things to do than play pirate... as if that was possible.)

Then there was the Kemp Faction, which included not only the five Kemp sisters (Hufflepuffs Paulette, Bernardette, Yvette, and Cosette, and Gryffindor Suzette), but also Ravenclaws Ed Bones, Greta Rudiger, and Hamish McDougal.

"You brought the bloody Head Boy?" Mina chuckled, taking the middle of the five chairs set on the empty side of the wide table that had been conjured in the Astronomy Tower. Sirius sat to her left, Remus to her right, James and Pete rounding out the edges.

"Well, you brought swords," spat Suzi, glaring viciously. The third-year was definitely all lion.

"You didn't?" Sirius said with a bright wink, successfully flustering the fiercest and youngest Kemp. He rattled the cutlass on his belt and decreed, "We thought it was implied."

Arm around his willowy blonde girlfriend, Ed groaned, "I told you before, I didn't mean anything to do with sodding pirates! It was just an unfortunate word choice!"

"The word choice is the only reason we agreed to come," James announced. For the fifth or possibly sixth time, he switched his patch from one eye to the other, getting his absurd hair more hopelessly tangled in the process.

Nodding, force-feeding crackers to the stuffed parrot on his shoulder, Peter agreed, "Avast, ye scalawags."

Ed began banging his head against the table. Remus looked as if he was seriously considering joining the activity, rubbing his temples and muttering about being friends with nutters.

Dark-haired Hamish McDougal cleared his throat. "Right then," the tall Scot began, "I was asked to mediate a bit of a misunderstanding-"

"Is that what she called it?" Mina challenged, smirk turning positively feral as she stared down Paulette, "All five syllables in the correct order? I'm impressed... or perhaps the word is _astonished_."

Paulette continued to cower between her sisters. The slender, pretty blondes were rather hard to tell apart. But there were clues. Paulette was of course the terrified one; Bernie was with Ed; Suzi was a bit shorter and wore the attitude and matching Gryffindor colors. But the other two remained interchangeable.

(Sirius honestly could not remember which one he'd gone into the broom closet with... it was getting a little embarrassing already...)

"I asked Hamish to come," Greta Rudiger piped up. She looked a lot better than the last time they'd seen her, but since the auburn seventh-year hadn't just been nearly drowned by a hysterical hippocampus, that was to be expected. "The whole episode in the Hospital Wing," she declared, "It just... it got out of hand. Everyone said some things they shouldn't have, but there's no need for it to escalate." She held her friend's hand, prompting, "Go on, Paulie."

Brown eyes wide and bloodshot, voice an insanely high squeak, Paulette stammered, "I know you didn't try to hurt Greta. I know the whole thing was an accident. I mean, I know that _now_. B-But at the time, I just... she almost _died_. I saw her get dragged under, and I saw Davies pull her out of the lake. She wasn't _breathing_, and she looked... I thought... you were being so _mean_, and Greta was almost _dead_, and I didn't... you said it wasn't your fault, but I didn't believe you, and I couldn't stop picturing Greta all cold and blue, a-and you said those terrible things to Cecily..." She sniffled pitifully, croaking, "I'm sorry I tried to hex you. I really am. I'm not just saying so because you scare me. I feel bad. It wasn't right, what I did. I'm not that kind of person. And I'm sorry."

Mina, after having remained remarkably quiet and straight-faced through the entire jumbled apology, suddenly burst out laughing. She held her sides and laughed and laughed and laughed, wobbling precariously in her seat. (Remus held her upright, grumbling something about keeping the girl from falling on her stupid sword.) After far longer than was typically appropriate, Mina wiped tears out of her eyes and realized that she was being gaped at in bafflement. She chuckled, "Right. Oh. Accepted. All that shite. Just, want to hear something hilarious?"

The entire Kemp Faction remained confused and paralyzed.

But Mina took that as permission to giggle maniacally and explain, "I had _completely_ forgotten about all of this until Ed reminded me today."

Now it was her fellow Marauders who took a turn staring at the girl like she'd gone mental.

Mina didn't just _forget_ people who'd slighted (let alone physically threatened) her. She had an actually bloody _list_, for Merlin's sake. She kept it tacked to her headboard; individuals were known to earn spots for not covering their noses when they sneezed.

But, then again, she _had_ been acting a bit tense and distant all weekend. Sirius assumed it was because she knew something was up with him and was annoyed that he hadn't told her. He'd been so busy trying to work up the courage to explain about his nightmares that the young man hadn't given much thought to an alternative theory:

Maybe something was up with _her_.

"Anyways," Mina chirped, picking her teeth with the hook hand she'd somehow acquired, "Is that it?"

Shaking herself out of speechlessness, Rudgier asked, "Oh. Well... is it?"

Mina shrugged. "I'd suggest a _yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum_ to seal our truce," she sniggered, gesturing at the baffled Head Boy, "But you brought the King of the Prefects, so maybe another time." She stood abruptly, addressing her fellow Marauders. "Who's up for some pillage and plunder?"

"Ooo!" cried Pete, jumping to his feet and nearly losing his parrot in the process, "Me!"

"No," Remus sighed. He hauled himself upright and chided, "You have detention, Sunny."

Her face fell, an odd darkness creeping into her gaze. "_Moony_," she whined, "Do I have to? I wanted to reread _Treasure Island_. Plus, Giles made me drink _so much bloody tea_! I nearly pissed myself on the walk back!"

No, that wasn't true. Sirius was the only one still up, and he saw Mina _run_ back from her detention that night, pale and sweating and stumbling, snapping something about needing the loo before she disappeared upstairs until the next morning. She hit James with an unusually severe stinging hex at breakfast when he teased her about the 'Divination Appreciation' seminars.

And then she skipped the one on Sunday night...

Sirius sensed a pattern.

"Oh, wait," squeaked one of the interchangeable Kemps, "There is something else!" Smiling sweetly, the girl inquired, "Can Suzi still train with your team? She was really excited-"

"Shut _up_, Coco!" Suzi hissed, red-faced once again, "You weren't supposed to say anything about that!"

With a kind grin, James chuckled, "You're always welcome, Suzi. Mina was quite impressed with you-"

"Shut _up_, Prongs," Mina interrupted, rolling her eyes, "Merlin, first the one-legged wonder auror, now you. Why is everyone so determined to erode my reputation?"

"So... that was... true?" Ed asked hesitantly, amazed and admiring in equal measures, "What that bloke said this morning? You really fought Death Eaters?"

More hush. More awe.

Mina looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable. (Just one of the girl's fascinating contradictions: she reveled in being the center of attention, unless it was for doing something selfless or heroic.)

"Wasn't the first time," she insisted, "And it wasn't a big deal. Just like fighting Slytherins, except without the detention afterward. Speaking of which-"

"Right," said Remus, he and the other Marauders resuming their exit. He gave the Kemp Faction a polite but slightly insincere smile. "I'm glad we cleared this up. I hope you all have a pleasant evening-"

"No, wait," said the other interchangeable (probably Yvette), "There was another thing. I mean, we were saving it in case we had to, you know, bribe you, but you should still probably know. I mean, as long as you're not going to hurt her..."

Arching a skeptical eyebrow, Mina demanded, "What are you talking about?"

The girl under Ed's arm primly cleared her throat, carefully announcing, "Well, Alcina Zuniga. Haven't you wondered _why_ she stole the love potion?"

"I assume because she's colossally stupid and pathetic," Mina answered, "There's more?"

Bernie nodded importantly. She bit her lip, fluttered her big brown eyes. "Her dormmates complain about it all the time," the blonde explained, "She has notebooks full of poetry. She has _pictures_. It's kind of creepy."

"And really rather sad, you know?" Yvette contributed, "She's not awful looking. I mean, she could get any boy she wanted-"

"But she's hung up on one she can't have," finished Cosette.

Sirius groaned. "Oh, bloody hell," he murmured, not surprised, "Not this again. I thought Mina had frightened away all my groupies-"

Before anyone else could answer, all five Kemps snapped, "Not you!"

(Eerie. They were fucking _eerie_. And apparently rumors of a hive mind weren't without merit.)

James giggled at him quite unmercifully until Bernie announced, "Zuniga is completely obsessed with Potter. She was planning on slipping him the Amortentia."

xxXxx

Whoever had the bright idea to construct a classroom only accessible by ladder deserved to be summarily executed. Most preferably in a manner that could not be mistaken for anything but a gross human-rights violation.

Mina growled as she gracelessly hauled herself through the hole in the floor, struggling to get her fingers and toes out of the way of the heavy trapdoor before it slammed shut. Her gaze swept the dim tower cell; her fist tightened, calloused palm almost squeaking against the dense yew of her wand. "Show yourself, you bald bastard," the girl hissed.

"Right here, Miss Lupin," replied Professor Giles. The squat, ancient man frowned at her from the other side of his desk. He was sporting the drab olive waistcoat again, along with small rheumy eyes and a salt-and-pepper half-tonsure. However, the brilliant black starburst on his wide forehead was a recent development. He cleared his throat with rather forced propriety, but Mina spoke before he could.

"You're a fucking cunt," she snarled.

For a supposed psychic, Giles looked awfully shocked by the remark. (Or maybe the word was _appalled_.) "Miss Lupin," he drawled, "Such language is inappropriate and uncalled for-"

"And you've got some bloody nerve complaining about_ me_ to McGonagall," Mina continued. She wanted to hex him. Oh, she wanted to hex him _so damn bad_. "I say one word about what _you_ did," the girl continued, "And you're on the next train out. That's _if_ my friends don't get hold of you first."

Giles sighed, "It was my intention to apologize. I am not in my right mind while having visions, and if I frightened you-"

"You did _not _frighten me!" insisted Mina, "And you were _not_ having fucking _visions_! You were spouting nonsense! _I will bleed_? That's your idea of a prophecy? I bleed at least once a month like clockwork, you stupid shite!"

He didn't seem to get it. And then he did, and his craggy face turned maroon, his tiny wrinkled mouth puckering in distaste.

"You can't announce something that's obviously inevitable and claim it's a prophecy," Mina continued. She'd been thinking all day about what to say, all the evidence that proved the Divination professor was a fraud. "That _one-legged man_ bit? Nice try, arsehole, but Moody was _scheduled_ to see Dumbledore today. And the recent amputation was no big secret-"

"Miss Lupin," Giles interrupted, leaning forward slightly, "Please. Sit."

Mina narrowed her eyes. "No."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"That would be a _fuck_ no."

Rapidly approaching utter exasperation, the professor grunted, "Then kindly allow me to get a word in."

"I'm not interested in what you have to say," Mina answered honestly. Her arm was starting to ache from the force she was exerting to keep it from flying up in a volley of spells. "I only came to tell you to leave me alone."

Huffing, Giles declared, "I can't do that, Miss Lupin. It is vitally important for us to discuss what happened on Thursday evening."

"Vitally important my arse-"

"I need to know what you did," the old man insisted, "And I need to know what I said."

Mina stared for a moment, finally chuckling, "Oh, let me guess. You don't remember anything when you have _'visions'_?"

Giles's impatient, rather goatish expression said yes.

Laughing again, Mina spat, "Well, isn't that convenient? Especially seeing as how you almost broke my arm."

His eyes went wide.

And, once more, Mina chuckled. "For a supposed psychic," she taunted, "You're fairly easy to surprise."

The professor sucked in a deep breath and slowly blew it out through his wide, hairy nostrils. "I'm terribly sorry if I hurt you," he murmured, "Really. I had no idea-"

"Save it," Mina interrupted, "I'm not interested. Just stop tattling to McGonagall, and we can go back to ignoring each other."

"As I stated before," Giles countered, "I must know what you did and what I said. Believe what you will or won't about the incident, but please humor me. You needn't show up for the remainder of the week if you just-"

Mina laughed right in his face. "What part of this aren't you getting?" she growled. The girl waved her wand to release the glamour on her right wrist, revealing the swollen purple handprint encircling it. "We have reached the point of mutually assured destruction," she explained, slowly, "You'll get fired if I talk. I'll get probably get expelled if you do. So we both stay quiet, and we both go on with our lives as usual. That, of course, means I was already going to blow off the rest of the punishment, and there's not much you can do to stop me."

After a moment of tense silence, the professor touched his stunted, yellowed fingertips to the discolored bruise on his forehead. "This was you," he observed, coming rather abruptly to a realization Mina had assumed was obvious, "I thought I fell against the floor-"

"Nope," said the girl, smugly, "I punched you in your fat head. It was mostly self-defense, but also a bit because you plain old pissed me off. Are you going to whine now, you big baby? I only hit you with my left."

Frowning as his voice took on that obnoxious goat-like bleating quality, Giles declared, "Young lady, striking a seer is quite unwise, especially if he is in the middle of imparting a prophecy."

She snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Please," he pleaded, "Would you just... I hate not knowing. Do you have any idea what it's like to lose chunks of time? To have someone tell you you've done something horrible and not even be able to remember?"

Oh, fuck's sake... Remus always said the same bloody thing about his transformations...

"Fine," Mina groaned, "But you're not psychic! You're... I dunno... epileptic."

She took the professor's silence as assent and crossed the room to throw herself into the horrible wood chair in front of his desk. "You made me drink tons of tea," the girl announced, "I wasn't really paying attention, just staring off into the smoke-"

"Do you do that often?" Giles asked. He regarded her like a science project.

Growling, Mina replied, "If this is going to turn into a _smoking is bad_ lecture-"

"No," murmured the old man, "I mean, staring into the smoke. Capnomancy is using smoke to divine the future-"

"Oh, Hufflepuff's hemorrhoids, _shut up_!" she groaned, "You want to hear this or not?"

Giles nodded, clearly affronted.

"Anyways," Mina continued, "I thought you'd fallen asleep. I was going to leave, but your cig was about to burn your fingers, so, being the wonderful person I am, I went over to save you. You, however, being ungrateful and pervy and weird, grabbed my arm and started having some kind of fit, spouting a bunch of gibberish-"

"Word for word," the professor prompted, "If you can."

Mina huffed. "You said, _You will bleed_," she grumbled, "_A one-legged man brings dire news from the south. And Death flies on emerald wings_." She paused for a moment before finishing, "And then you said something about my mother, which is mainly why I hit you."

"What did I say?"

Unbidden, the memory of the eerily flat voice seared through Mina's mind: _"The dreams... your mother fears the dreams." _

"Something about my mother," she paraphrased, trying to stress with her menacing tone alone that further inquiries would not be tolerated. She stood abruptly, patience exhausted. "There," the girl spat, "Now do us both a favor and stay the fuck away from me."

She was almost to the exit when the professor spoke again. "I'm told you have trouble sleeping," he announced, "That can be a side-effect."

"What are you babbling about now?" Mina growled, struggling with the trapdoor, which seemed to be heavier and harder to open than she remembered.

"Your Gift," the squat man murmured creepily, "There's no denying you possess... something. I couldn't tell what without more investigation."

Mina scoffed aloud. The door was well stuck. "Right," the girl snarled, "You have an epileptic fit, and suddenly I'm a psychic-"

"My Sight has greatly diminished with age," the professor explained irritably, mournfully, "I haven't had a vision like that in nearly twenty years. Why do you think I ended up here? Teaching filthy, thankless, ill-mannered brats? A vision like the one I had shouldn't have been possible, not without another strong psychic power for mine to feed off. I've been waiting so long-"

"For the _last time_!" Mina shouted, "You are _not_ bloody psychic! I'm certainly not either! Fuck's sake! That's the whole reason I'm being punished-"

"You correctly predicted a drowning," snapped Giles. He rose to his feet, slowly, but stayed behind the desk. "I've spoken to several students for whom you did readings," he said, "You did provide an astonishing number of remarkably accurate forecasts. Do you have any idea how rare-"

"I'm a decent con-artist," Mina bellowed, yanking furiously at the trapdoor, "And most of the school is terrified of me. If I said it was going to rain fire, half these idiots would invest in dragon-hide bodysuits and run screaming at the sight of every comet and lightning bug." A thought struck her, and she pointed her wand at the professor. "Open the fucking door," the girl spat.

His wrinkled face remained impassively annoyed. His dark gaze unhinged. "Miss Lupin," he drawled, stepping out from behind the desk, stalking closer, "Be reasonable. Together we can unravel the mysteries of the future. Imagine how pleased the Dark Lord will be when I tell him my Gift has returned. When I present you as another noteworthy seer."

Holy shit. He wasn't just a delusional old codger: he was a bloody deranged Death Eater.

_Why didn't I report him?_ the girl mourned, _I really have to stop being so nice to people_...

xxXxx

While Remus generally didn't approve of his friends tagging along on prefect rounds, the sandy-haired werewolf could sometimes be persuaded to make exceptions.

On nights when his sister had detention and when there was a Lazarov loose in the school, those exceptions were fairly easy to attain.

James and Sirius were quick to take advantage.

And while James was quick to take other advantages (mainly strolling ahead with Evans and doing his best to be charming and not quite as offensive as expected), Sirius had other ideas.

"You know she's been off, right?" the black-haired teen inquired, acutely aware that they were stalking the immediate vicinity of the sexier Lupin.

Remus nodded. "I thought it was about you," he said, "But apparently not... ideas?"

Still kind of absurdly pleased that his friend and brother and future-brother-in-law hadn't once threatened him since the summer, Sirius answered, "Giles."

The werewolf frowned, remarking, "She's annoyed by the concept of Divination in general, but that's not it. She would've complained all weekend if something had happened."

"She would've complained if _nothing_ happened," Sirius pointed out, "If nothing happened, then she should've ranted about the whole experience. But not a word, not even when Prongs brought it up. That tells me something did happen. And it must've been big."

"Lily," Remus called, "Do you mind if we walk by the North Tower? I'd like to check on Mina."

The pretty redhead was halfway through a reluctant smile when she glanced over her shoulder. "Oh," she said, weirdly entranced by James's light banter and smoothly subtle flirtation, "Of course. That's no problem."

They were there in minutes.

They were met by whispers. And then shifty Slytherins, one of whom was directly related to Sirius.

"You're sure he said eight thirty?"

"Yes."

"What time is it?"

"Nearly ten."

"Shouldn't we-"

"You should shut your mouth. He might be a half-senile old joke, but he's held in high esteem. He'll fetch us when he's ready, and until then, we'll wait like good little soldiers."

Sirius shoved ahead to round the corner first, glaring at Regulus and another Slytherin from their own year, Evan Rosier. Both lads wore their black hair neatly to their jaws; they stood with aristocratic grace that had been bred in over many generations. However, the difference between them was obvious (at least to Sirius): Regulus was nervous; Rosier was not.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius demanded, eyeing the scene with blatant suspicion.

Strangely, Regulus still looked like a toddler caught sneaking biscuits before dinner. "Waiting to speak with Professor Giles," he said. Lying and not even doing a good job of it. "We had an appointment, but I suppose he's running a little behind-"

"Is the door locked?" asked Sirius. Teachers didn't typically lock themselves in with students, especially not male teachers alone with female students. But entitled Slytherins wouldn't be waiting at the bottom of the ladder unless the door was locked...

"Oh," Regulus murmured, flustered, "Well... yes... but I'm sure Professor Giles is just... um..."

"We don't have to explain ourselves to filthy blood traitors," Rosier drawled, eyes so black they looked like nothing but gaping pupils sunk into the round, dopey face that had always reminded Sirius a bit of a guinea pig's.

"You do, however, have to explain yourselves to prefects," Evans announced as she, James, and Remus arrived. Hands on hips, the redhead surveyed the scene and declared, "You're both breaking curfew. Return to your common room at once!"

Upper lip curling in piggy snarl, Rosier growled, "The day I'm ordered around by a mu-"

"We're going," Regulus interrupted. He grabbed his so-called friend by the arm and dragged him away. Before they vanished, Sirius's brother sent one last pleading glance over his shoulder, eyes darting to the ceiling.

Sirius tried the trapdoor. It was, indeed, locked.

Soon the three boys were pounding on the heavy slab, firing off every spell they thought might get them past (from _Alohomora_ to _Incendio_), but nothing seemed to work.

"Calm down and stop trying to destroy the castle," Evans chided, standing back and being useless, "I don't know what you think is going on, but I'm sure there's a perfectly innocent reason for the door being locked. Professor Giles was probably just trying to keep Mina from running out on her punishment."

Puffing and growling, searching his mind a suitable explosion curse, Sirius muttered, "Something is wrong, Evans, and if you're not going to help, then kindly shut your gob."

James slapped him on the back of the head and then went right back to banging on the trapdoor.

"Oi!" Mina shouted, her wonderful voice barely penetrating the thick wood, "Who's out there?"

"It's us," Remus called, "Are you alright?"

There was a low laugh. "Ya, I'm fine," the girl answered, "Giles went nuts again, so I had to stun him. He did something to the doors and windows. None of them will open."

Wide-eyed, Evans announced, "I'll go find a professor."

"I'll come with," James offered gallantly. "Back in a flash," he yelled as he jogged away, "Don't worry, Sunny!"

"I'm not worried," Mina complained, "I'm _bored_. There's only so much space to draw on Giles's fat bald head."

Sirius chuckled. But then he had to ask, "What did you mean he went nuts _again_?"

Silence.

"Sunny," said Remus, somehow both scolding and anxious, "What happened?"

She groaned. Judging by the _thud_, she probably hit some body part against the trapdoor. "I didn't think it would be such a big deal," the girl grumbled, "I was handling it-"

"Oh, clearly," Remus snapped.

"You just bitched yourself right out of a story, Moony."

Though he tried very hard not to, Sirius immediately found himself laughing at the outraged expression on his friend's scarred face.

"It's _not funny_!" Remus roared, "Mina, you _promised_! You promised you'd be more careful! You promised you'd stop charging headfirst into dangerous situations-"

"I didn't know, alright!" Mina fired back. Another _thud_ on the other side of the thick wood. "I thought he was just a creepy old perv!" she announced, "I had no idea he was a psycho Death Eater-"

"WHAT?!"

"Excuse me, gentlemen." The voice was soft, but not in a kind, soothing way: in a way that suggested the owner wouldn't waste energy shouting because she wanted to be refreshed when it came time to begin the vivisections. "Vould you mind explaining vhy you are out causing disturbances so late?"

They stared at the skeletally thin, ghostly pale woman standing in the doorway.

Sirius had to remind himself not to reach up and cover his neck. "Er," he began, "Sorry, Professor Lazarov. Our friend is stuck in the Divination classroom."

"I'm being held hostage by a mad old goat," came Mina's muted response, "He went crazy and drew cocks all over his head. Then he started rambling about getting them tattooed on permanently, so I figured it would be best to stun him. Because I'm nice like that."

Lazarov glared up at the trapdoor. She'd shed the shapeless, unremarkable robe she wore at dinner, and Sirius was surprised to see the woman in ragged jeans. The shirt the professor wore was similar to one Mina owned and called a "peasant top"; Sirius liked when his girl wore the flowy white garment hanging tantalizing off one slim shoulder...

Ahem. Anyways, Lazarov's peasant top was firmly on both the woman's bony shoulders, the fabric a bright purple that brought out a hint of the same shade in the sleek black hair hanging down her bony back. She scowled in annoyance, the tips of fangs almost visible behind pale lips.

"You are the children who play tricks," she accused, an elegant finger waggling at them in admonishment, "I vas told about you, and I vill not tolerate such foolishness-"

"She's really stuck!" Remus wailed. He always looked so sad and pitiful when he fretted about his sister; sometimes it made even Sirius want to hug him. "Please," the sandy-haired werewolf continued, "I think Professor Giles tried to hurt her. He could wake up and try again-"

"Moony! He's like a hundred years old! Give me some credit!"

Lazarov stared, arching a razor-thin eyebrow before finally demanding, "Not a trick?"

The two Marauders emphatically shook their heads; Sirius did his best to look innocent, which, as always, was an awful lot of effort.

Sighing, the professor took her wand out of her pocket and strode forward. She waved and swished and flicked, muttering to herself for several long minutes before reporting, "The charm used is very strong. There may be a password to release it-"

"Balls," Mina guessed, "Crystal balls. Tea. Tarot. Con. Grift. Scam. Flim-flam... Uh... little help, lads? I don't actually take this asinine subject."

"Scrying," Sirius tried, "Palm reading. Astrology-"

"Numerology," Remus ventured, "Cartomancy-"

"Oh!" Mina declared, "He's into all the -_mancy_ words! Try some more of those! Shit, what were the ones he told me... er... tasseomancy... capnomancy..."

Searching his brain for years of half-listened-to lectures, Sirius listed, "Pyromancy. Hydromancy. Alectromancy-"

"Bibliomancy," Remus rattled off quickly, "Crystallomancy. Oneiromancy. Cleromancy. Lithomancy. Chronomancy. Astromancy-"

"Necromancy," Lazarov drawled.

There was a quiet _click_, and Mina immediately threw open the trapdoor. She jumped down the ladder and grabbed her brother and boyfriend into one big hug. "Go team," she chuckled, grinning distractingly against Sirius's neck.

xxXxx

The announcement was made at breakfast: all Divination classes were cancelled until further notice.

That was it. Nothing about Professor Giles attacking and quite possibly trying to kidnap a student. Nothing about the skull-and-snake tattoo that had been discovered on his wrinkled left forearm. Nothing about aurors dragging the raving old man away to face more intensive interrogation...

Although Lily understood that Dumbledore didn't want to start a panic, she couldn't believe that he was just going to _cover up_ the fact that there'd been a _Death Eater_ working in the school for almost _two decades_.

Lily felt her eyes and throat welling up, again, because... because it wasn't _fair_. They were supposed to be _safe_ at Hogwarts...

"Evans," she heard, someone sitting beside her as a warm arm wrapped around her, "Hey. It's alright."

"It's not," the redhead sniffled, turning her face into the thin yet surprisingly solid chest, "I actually _liked_ Professor Giles. He was always so... _knowledgeable_."

Potter was quiet for a moment, giving her a soothing squeeze. "Everyone missed it," he murmured, "The bastard was a good liar. That's all. But he's gone now, so we don't have to worry about him."

Lily snorted; nothing like an unattractive noise to accessorize baggy, bloodshot eyes and unwashed hair. All night they spent giving their statements to the aurors. Mina Lupin was still up in Dumbledore's office, sassing and snarling her way through probably the fifth rendition of the sodding story.

"Mail's here!" Pettigrew announced.

Barely, Lily resisted the urge to ask the pale, podgy lad how long he'd been seated across from her. How much of her blubbering he'd witnessed. Instead, she sat up and inquired, "Why is your owl _green_?"

Wrestling with the hysterical beast, taking a verdant wing to the face, Pettigrew grunted, "I tried to transfigure her into a parrot."

While Lily continued to stare in confusion and concern, Potter just chuckled. His arm was still around her shoulders; he had yet to make a single arrogant or insensitive comment, and it was really rather... nice.

"Scylla was being difficult though," Pettigrew continued, finally snatching his letter from the flailing bird, "I asked Remus to help, but he would only make me a stuffed one. Such a shame. Just didn't feel like real piracy without a real parrot."

Marauders. They were all so... _bizarre_.

Pettigrew opened and began scanning the letter, but he froze with a dripping spoonful of oatmeal halfway to his mouth.

"Pete?" asked Potter.

Light blue eyes filling with shocked, devastated tears, Pettigrew croaked, "My dad is dead."

xxXxx

As soon as Regulus was out of sight of his band of cronies, Sirius wasted no time tackling the smaller boy into a nearby alcove. Sirius ignored the wails and struggles, slapping one hand over his little brother's mouth and using the other to expose his little brother's left forearm.

His little brother's blessedly unblemished left forearm.

"Thank _fuck_," the teen sighed, indulging in a hug of pure relief and joy before Regulus finally succeeded in squirming free from the embrace.

"_Brute_," he spat. The younger Black spent a few moments angrily straightening his uniform to its original flawless state. "Was that really necessary?"

Glaring, Sirius countered, "When I find you standing outside a Death Eater's office in the middle of the night? What do you think?"

Regulus frowned. "As I told the headmaster when he rudely summoned me this morning," the slim fifth-year recited, "Professor Giles asked to see us. We assumed it was because Rosier had given me all his notes and essays from last year. I've only been using them to study, but I thought I must've slipped up and turned in something too similar. I thought I was about to be accused of plagiarism. It was quite nerve-racking."

Sirius stared. Then he said, "Good cover. Plausible. Requires admitting slight wrongdoing, but not enough to actually get you in trouble. Now why were you really there?"

Bristling, turning a pink around the ears, the Slytherin hissed, "Are you calling me a liar?"

"I'm calling you a decent liar," Sirius answered, "Which is a compliment. After that display in the tower last night, I was starting to think you hadn't taken any of my teachings to heart."

"Ignoramus," murmured Reg.

"Reg," Sirius snapped, "I'm not playing around... just tell me you didn't know what he was going to do."

Gray eyes sad, soulful, Regulus sighed and grudgingly admitted, "I didn't know. About anything. Rosier said we were supposed to pick something up and then deliver it. He wouldn't tell me what or where or why."

_Pick something up and then deliver it_... Godric's gonads, it was true. Giles was going to kidnap Mina and more than likely hand her over to his "Dark Lord." All because of a stupid prank, all because people were dumb enough to believe she was bloody psychic.

"If you hurt her," Sirius growled, "Any of them. Or let them be hurt, I swear I will never forgive you."

Pouting, looking so painfully, foolishly _young,_ Regulus drawled, "I know how much you value you your little hodgepodge family."

Sirius grabbed his arm again before he could storm away. "I asked you to come with me," the Marauder declared, "You still can. It's never too late." He swallowed hard, dreading the moment he'd be forced to let go. "I'm always going to be your brother, Reg, but as much as I'd like to, I can't force you to do the right thing."

Regulus rolled his eyes and yanked his arm away. "Touching," he said, "Really. Let's do this again sometime, but without the discourteous assault." And then he was gone.

Groaning wretchedly, Sirius sank to the floor and spent a few minutes cursing his parents and their Dark Lord to the deepest depths of the most horrible hell. After, Sirius took out the Map and scanned it for signs that Mina and Remus had finally been released from the headmaster's office.

They were still in that dreaded room, surrounded by a semi-circle of important adults: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Moody, both Prewetts. James's parents had been there for a few of the very early hours of the morning, but they'd gone back to headquarters already, presumably to supervise the interrogation.

Because a crazed old Death Eater had tried to kidnap Mina. Because he thought she possessed psychic powers.

Fuck's sake. It was the _second week_.

xxXxx

"I'm not psychic." It was becoming a mantra. "There's no such thing. You _just_ gave me detention for _not being psychic_."

Dumbledore sighed wearily. The twinkle in his eyes was so much less twinkly than normal.

And that made Mina sad. But still. "How many times do I have to say it?" the girl demanded, "How many different languages? Because I only know two. _Iway amway otnay uckingfay ychicpsay, youway idiculousray astardsbay_."

From the exasperated intake of breath, Mina guessed that Dumbledore was also familiar with Pig Latin.

Oops. "Uh..." Mina searched for an excuse. Her stomach growled. "Low blood sugar?"

"Professor Giles seems quite certain of your Gift," the headmaster stated, "And he is an expert-"

Though she really tried not to, Mina burst out laughing. "Expert?" she giggled, feeling kind of giddily delirious (along with shivery and sick), "The mad twat who was hauled out of here in a straight-jacket? Even if he weren't, you know, _absolutely bonkers and in league with the sodding Dark Lord_-"

"Mina," Remus scolded quietly.

Groaning, Mina sank further into her usual chair. Over the course of her school career, it had molded perfectly to the contours of her body. Oh yes. The chair was always there to lovingly cradle her buttocks through every interminable lecture and barrage of disappointed looks. Such a lovely, loyal chair. And such an interesting shade of purple, heliotrope mixed with amethyst, dappled with little silver stars.

Mina was going to steal it when she graduated; the plan had been brewing in her mind since third year.

"Miss Lupin," McGonagall murmured.

(Fuck. She looked sad, too. What was wrong with everybody? Mina was unscathed, and the Death Eater was getting locked up; that was the ideal ending for these situations. They should be throwing a party.)

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" McGonagall asked. The soft, non-admonishing tone was a bit weird. "We spoke just this morning-"

"I don't _know_," the girl bellowed, "I don't know, alright? I thought he was messing with me, to teach me a lesson about the fortune telling thing. And if I told the boys, they would've royally fucked him up and probably gotten expelled with me. I wasn't sure anyone else would believe-"

"_Of course_ we would believe you!" shouted McGonagall, hand flying to her throat in a gesture of astonishment, "You were _attacked_, my dear girl! We don't take allegations of that nature lightly!"

"I punched him in the face," Mina announced (trying not to sound too proud), "I punched a professor. I didn't want to be expelled, and I wasn't sure you'd believe that it was self-defense."

Everyone was staring at her like she was nuts again. Fucking hell, Mina _hated_ that.

Sighing wearily, McGonagall declared, "You should've come to me right away. We do not tolerate professors being inappropriate or abusive toward students. Professor Giles would've been sacked right away-"

"And no one would've known he was a Death Eater," said Mina, "So apparently I did you people a favor. How do you repay me? By repeating dumb questions and denying me breakfast!"

After a brief beat, Gideon Prewett drawled, "Wait... you said you weren't totally sure why you didn't tell right away... does that mean you had a _feeling_ about him?"

With a glare Sirius tried not to get caught calling "the Shriveler," Mina snarled, "Other than hatred and disgust, I have no feelings whatsoever about that mad old goat."

"You realize you put yourself in a great deal of danger?" Moody grumbled, peg-legging back and forth across the office, "Doesn't matter what you thought or how it all turned out, not reporting physical abuse by a professor was incredibly stupid."

The girl shrugged. "Well, now I know... really, this is cruel and unusual. Can we get some bloody pancakes in here?"

xxxxxxxxxx

Hope ya'll were paying close attention because a lot of this chapter is setup for future chapters. Mwahahaha.

Reviews inspire me. And with the skyrocketing summer heat making trips to the beach more and more tempting, you guys definitely want me inspired to occasionally stay home and write ;)


	30. Operation Lusty Badger

Part 30 – Operation Lusty Badger

"What about that tart who threw herself at Padfoot when we were getting off the train? Emily What's-Her-Name."

"Croft."

"At least she doesn't seem too picky."

"Oi!"

"Ha. Good one, Mary."

"What Croft seems is diseased. We don't want poor Pete catching anything. This is supposed to cheer him up, not land him in the Hospital Wing with an embarrassing rash."

"Alright then... Matilda Aubrey?"

"God, no. She's got that horribly annoying little brother."

"Clara Duncan?"

"Charlotte Drunken's little sister? _That's _who you want for our Wormtail?"

"She's a lot different from Charlotte. She's a Hufflepuff. She was just made a prefect."

"_Booooo_."

"Would you stop booing all the prefect candidates? I'm starting to get offended."

"Starting?"

"I'll just put Clara on the _maybe_ list... Florence Showalter?"

"Are you joking?"

"What's wrong with Florence?"

"Do you want to explain to your future children why I giggle hysterically whenever _Aunt Flo_ is mentioned?"

"_I_ don't even want to know why- oh. _Oh_. Sunny, good Godric, woman-"

"Gladys Gudgeon?"

"Comes with _two_ horribly annoying, fantastically stupid brothers. She's obviously from a shallow gene pool."

"Huge tits though."

"Soft in the head and big in the chest... that could actually work. Put her as another _maybe_."

"Nancy Ward?"

"_Booooo_."

"Padfoot, I swear to Merlin-"

"Tamora Hamilton?"

"Hell no. Tamora's alright, but she and Bethany Yates are a package deal. I'd rather swallow a live flobberworm than spend time with Yates."

"Melanthia Turner?"

"Don't you think we already have enough M names? I mean, Mina, Moony, Mac, Mary, Monty-"

"Cressida Laska?"

"Probably not a good idea. She might be a Ravenclaw, but the rest of her psycho family are Slytherins. Besides, didn't she catch us testing hiccupping solution on her cat?"

"That was Lakshmi Chowdhury."

"Oh. Well, best cross off Chowderhead, too. I think she's mute."

"No, she just refuses to speak to you."

"What? Why?"

"Because you call her _Chowderhead_."

Unable to listen to anymore of... whatever the Marauders were up to, Lily pushed open the door to the sixth-year boys' dorm and demanded, "What in Merlin's name are you doing?"

The Lupin twins, Potter, Black, and Mary looked up from the floor, from the mass of parchment around which they were huddled.

"Nothing," Remus muttered guiltily, at the same moment his sister growled, "None of your business."

"We're finding a girl for Pete," Potter explained. He offered a crooked, charming grin and ruffled his chaotic hair. "You wouldn't happen to know of any young ladies who are into shy yet quirky teddy-bear types, would you?"

(It was, by far, the most generous description Lily had ever heard for Pettigrew, who had always reminded her of wet dough.)

"Er," the redhead responded, "Not off the top of my head, no. But maybe you all should ask around and see if someone likes him rather than... whatever it is you're doing."

"That's phase two," Black announced, staring dreamily at Mina's bare legs, "Phase one is finding acceptable candidates, and phase two is figuring out which ones would be willing to give the heartbroken lad-"

"_Do not_ finish that sentence, Black," Lily commanded. Valiantly, she battled down a fiery blush.

Black's slimy grin didn't help matters, nor did his chuckled, "_Comfort_, Evans. I was going to say willing to give him some _comfort _in his time of need."

Oh, Merlin. And there was the blush. "Why are you only listing fifth-years?" the girl demanded, "Have you been through all of sixth?"

"Yes," Mary said, yawning, "Francesca Oakridge was the only one Mina didn't have any huge problems with."

"Though I still say there's something wrong with her," quipped Mina, absently fiddling with the thin straps of her inexplicable dress, "No normal person eats that much kale."

Snorting, Potter argued, "She's a vegetarian, too. And she's really nice. When I went veggie, she taught me this great spell for detecting meat in dishes."

Lily passed off the sharp clench in her stomach as indigestion. "I believe Francesca is dating Benjy Fenwick," the redhead smugly announced, "They started over the summer."

"Damn," grumbled Remus, scratching the name off the list, "At this rate, we might have to dip into the fourth-years."

"No way," Mina said with an adamant head shake, "We don't want Wormtail looking like a pedo."

Laughing, Black declared, "If it comes to it, we can always steal Francesca away from Benjy. I bet that would give Wormtail an added ego boost."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You are ridiculous," she stated, unable to make her voice sound quite as stern as she meant to, "Remus, we have the meeting in fifteen minutes."

"Oh," he answered as he climbed to his feet and straightened his prim yet casual weekend attire, "Right. Thanks." On the way out, the sandy-haired werewolf told his friends, "Don't make the final decision or move onto phrase two without me. I don't want you lot traumatizing the candidates."

"Yes, Moony," the other Marauders sing-songed, giggling evilly amongst themselves.

"God, that's unsettling," Lily commented as she and her fellow prefect walked down the stairs.

Remus shrugged and replied, "You get used to it. The time to really worry is when there's silence."

xxXxx

It was just a dress. Not especially tight or short or low-cut. Hell, the scrap of lace wasn't even daring enough to send Remus into fits (as many of his sister's clothing choices were known to do); James had smiled in approval when he saw the outfit that morning, commenting, "You look nice, Sunny. What's the occasion?"

Mina had insisted that there was no occasion. She just felt like wearing a dress.

A gauzy, floaty, twirly white sundress that left her lovely arms and legs and back bare to Sirius's hungry gaze.

Merlin, it was just a dress, but on her... it was _art_.

"You wore that to torture me, didn't you?" the young man accused, unable to take his eyes off Mina.

She could've been an angel. If angels were capable of such wicked, feral smirks. "No," laughed the little witch, barefoot as she splashed through the lapping lake water and turned her pretty face toward the sky, "I wore it because today is a beautiful Saturday. And because I wanted to."

Sirius grabbed her hand. He pulled her into his chest and kissed her kissedherkissedher until his bloody head began to spin. Until his girl was mewling breathlessly into his mouth, her body flush against his and her nimble fingers tangled in his hair.

"Sirius," she sighed, nibbling his lips, making his knees _weak_.

A loud catcall tore them both out of the haze but not out of each other's arms.

(Sirius didn't give a damn who saw. Bunch of jealous sods.)

He was, however, reminded of something. The thing he'd been trying to tell Mina for what felt like forever. The thing he'd ordered himself to tell her that very day.

_Just do it, you coward._

"Sunny," he began (like he had several times before), "I have to tell you something."

With a teasing grin, Mina stared up at him and giggled, "Is it that Drip Fawcett was bitten by a big black dog yesterday? Because I already heard."

Sirius couldn't help the snarl the bubbled up. "Well," he grumbled, "That's what happens when loud-mouth Hufflepuffs feel the need to vividly recount wet dreams they've had about my girl."

Mina threw her head back with a dazzling laugh.

And Sirius was distracted for a few moments, kissing and nuzzling her slender throat. "Anyways," the teen sighed, "That wasn't it. I... don't be mad I didn't tell you sooner, ok? I just didn't know how."

The girl pulled back a little to stare into his eyes, her arms still around his neck and her fingertips still making soothing circles against his scalp. But then she smiled. "Insomnia or nightmares?"

Of course she knew. She wasn't stupid and had extensive experience with sleep disturbances.

Feeling rather silly, Sirius answered, "Nightmares." Saying the word aloud was like popping the cork on the rest of the story, which suddenly gushed out. "You saw what my mother... over the summer, that she beat me, but that wasn't all. She locked me in my room for nearly a month. She always did, but never for so long. And it always gave me these nightmares about being trapped somewhere with no windows or no doors, running out of air. The walls closing in. But it was never too terrible. Except this year, when we chased you to the bar, Moody and Frank actually did lock us in a room with no windows or doors, and I... I freaked out. Because it was _just _like the nightmare, but I couldn't wake up. And James and Pete were there, and I couldn't save us. And since then, I've been having more nightmares and problems with small spaces even when I'm awake."

Mina waited patiently for the explanation to trail off. Then she hugged him with all her strength.

It wasn't a panacea, but the simple gesture sure made Sirius feel a hell of a lot better.

"Let's get drunk," she suggested, murmuring into his collar bone, "Let's get stoned off our arses and light something on fire."

Chuckling, Sirius held her close, pressed a kiss into her soft sandy hair and answered, "Just when I thought you couldn't be any more perfect..."

xxXxx

"I'm telling Molly."

James froze, nearly choking on the bite of apple in his mouth before having the presence of mind to hide himself around the nearest corner.

"Oh, come on. She was of age!"

"Barely. You are disgusting. Pedophile."

"You're jealous. Eunuch."

Apparently oblivious, the Prewett twins walked right past James's hiding place. They continued to bicker and shove. And they didn't seem to notice when James crept carefully after them.

"We're _on duty_!" Fabian crowed, giving his brother a frankly quite menacing glare, "And on _thin ice_! Do you have any idea what the Potters, or Dumbledore for that matter, are going to do to us if they find out-"

"Oh, unknot your knickers, Fabe," chuckled Gideon, flicking longish, rust-colored hair away from his eyes, "You didn't do anything."

Fabian blustered, "Which never seems to matter! You do moronic things, like seducing bloody schoolgirls, and somehow I get blamed right along with you!"

With a wide, mocking grin, Gideon answered, "Well, of course. I'd get lonely otherwise." He lit a cigarette and then, without looking over his broad shoulder, called, "What do you want, Potter?"

James jumped. He tried not to look too guilty as he jogged forward to join the identical pair of aurors. "Nothing," he said, taking another chomp of the apple, "Just heard you two and thought I'd say hello. What're you doing back?"

"Finally got the all-clear to clean out the Divination classroom," Fabian announced. He eyed his brother's cigarette covetously, his own huge freckled hand absentmindedly crinkling the pack in his shirt pocket.

Nodding cheerfully, Gideon added, "And we're supposed to track down little Miss Nostradamus for a memory extraction about Giles's prophecy. Apparently she's been quite uncooperative with the requests from the Department of Mysteries."

James chuckled nervously. "If by uncooperative you mean she's been burning the letters during breakfast, then yes. And good luck. My advice would be to wait until she's baked before you try."

"That was the other thing," said Fabian, "As much as our department appreciates her help during the Travers operation, we've got orders to confiscate all illegal narcotics in her possession."

"And locate and destroy wherever she's been growing them," Gideon finished.

A loud laugh surged out of James's mouth. "Oh, you mean the Herbology project?" the bespectacled lad challenged, "You might as well give up now. _I _don't even know where they keep the Herbology project." And after finding a preliminary blueprint for the defensive wards stuck in one of Sirius's textbooks, James would have to be suicidal to seek the place out.

Seeming a bit offended by being cackled at, Fabian muttered, "And we don't bloody _care_ about her selling a bit of grass, but we've got orders and can't leave until they're done."

James shrugged. "It's your life, mate. Far be it from me to tell you how to waste it."

Gideon blew smoke in his face. "Well, just so you don't think we're wasting it solely on Mina, Dumbledore also asked us to do him a favor while we're here. Apparently, some sixth-year was caught stealing Amortentia. We get to put the fear of Merlin in her."

"That wasn't what he asked for," Fabian corrected, "He said to speak with the girl about the consequences of theft-"

"And of plotting to roofie her classmates," chuckled Gideon, "And of unintentionally starting orgies during Muggle Studies."

James felt his face go hot at the memory. At the knowledge the Kemp sisters had shared: Alcina Zuniga intended the Amortentia for him. "I'd check the library," the teen declared, "You know how Ravenclaws are... and don't go easy with the _fear of Merlin_ stuff. Zuniga is a bloody menace."

xxXxx

Shortly before dinner, they found the sweet spot. That more than a little, less than a lot, the world is exceptionally bright and fast but not yet nauseating balance between sober and smashed.

Then Sirius set a chair on fire and got them thrown out of the Hog's Head.

"AWOOOoooOOOoooOOOoooooo!" Mina howled, arms flung wide as she spun through the sunset-drenched streets. Villagers sent strange and scandalized looks in the girl's direction, but she didn't care. Right at that just right moment, she had no cares. "Padfoot!" giggled Mina, grabbing onto her boyfriend so that they could stagger together, "I'm hungry! Let's eat!"

"What should we eat, Sunshine?" the young man slurred. He fished a joint out of the pocket of his extremely well-fitting jeans and lit the contraband with a clumsy but playful flourish.

Mina snickered and announced, "I don't know. Something _delicious_!"

He sent her a sideways smile, stopping in the middle of the road, just barely touching his slack lips to hers and letting the thick smoke bleed into her open mouth. "_You're_ delicious," he whispered, voice a sensuous rasp, eyes closed and silky onyx hair blocking out the rest of the stupid bloody world.

Shivering in her boyfriend's strong arms, Mina couldn't concentrate on anything aside from the intense desire he always managed to ignite. "Padfoot," she moaned, pressing her hips wantonly into his, "I'll be having you for dinner if you keep that up."

"Promise?" he chuckled.

Oh, _gods_, did she ever.

There was an uncomfortable cough, the kind that says _please, for the love of Merlin, stop what you are doing before I am irreparably scarred_.

(It was a cough Mina had become rather familiar with since she and Sirius began dating.)

"Hi, Hagrid," Sirius sighed, halfheartedly hiding his contraband.

Mina turned in the embrace. And then immediately jumped out of it. "Oh!" the girl gasped, drawn toward the sheer adorableness Hagrid had cradled in the crook of his massive elbow, "She's _so cute_! What's her name?"

The brindle boarhound puppy squeaked excitedly and flailed her oversized paws, trying to lick Mina's face.

Though he still looked quite red behind his thick black beard, Hagrid proudly answered, "This 'ere is Tiger. Jus got 'er today."

"Tiger," cooed Mina, scratching the creature's soft floppy ears, rubbing their noses together, "That's perfect. You are such a pretty girl, Tiger. Yes, you are. _Yes, you are_."

Tiger yipped, her hips and tail wiggling like mad.

Hagrid laughed but still scolded, "Don' think flattery's gonna get you two outta trouble. Y'know you shouldn' be out."

Beaming as the puppy lapped her cheeks, Mina complained, "But, Hagrid, it's _Saturday_. We were just having some fun."

His face got redder. "Ya," the enormous man said, "I saw that. Fun's over though. C'mon. Back to the castle we go."

And they did go. With minimal whining because Hagrid was their friend and because he was only doing his job. And because, instead of reporting them, he let them hang out at his hut and play with Tiger.

Having a big dopey puppy fall asleep in her lap was one of the few things that could've made the day even more amazing.

(Since Mr. Pettigrew's funeral, since she let Pete sob inconsolably on her shoulder for practically that whole day, Mina had felt starved for good things. For sunshine and blue skies and pretty dresses and puppies and _Sirius_.)

"The Prewetts are back," Hagrid announced. He'd brought them coffee and sat with them near the pumpkin patch while they drank.

The world was losing some of its speed and radiance as day gave way to night and the sweet spot gave way to sobriety and sated fatigue.

"They were lookin for ya, too," the enormous gamekeeper continued, sipping from a mug most people would use as a punchbowl, "Somethin 'bout a Herbology project."

Mina and Sirius exchanged a look. Then simultaneously burst out laughing.

"Should we warn them?" Sirius murmured.

Shaking her head, wobbling against his side, Mina replied, "Nah. Best play dumb. I doubt they'll even get close enough to trigger the wards."

Sirius grinned like a loon. "But I really want them to. Someone should experience our masterpiece. Merlin knows Dung was too dumb, but he wouldn't have properly appreciated the craftsmanship anyways."

"Or the punch line."

There was more giggling. Tiger huffed and began to have a running dream, lanky limbs and too-big paws flopping against Mina's legs.

Hagrid seemed confused but chose not to comment.

xxXxx

The first crack of thunder startled Lily right out of sleep. She sat up, panting, scanning the dark dormitory for what could've woken her. Lupin's bed was empty, so the usual culprit wasn't at fault-

A flash at the window. Another loud _BOOM_. Torrential rain battering ancient stone.

Lily fell back and groaned. _Great. A storm. I wasted nearly the whole beautiful Saturday stuck in a prefect meeting because the Head Girl loves the sound of her own voice, and now I get to stay awake all night because of a sodding storm. This weekend has been no fun at all._

After some useless, halfhearted attempts to fall back asleep, she whipped the blankets off her legs, grabbed a random novel, and crept down to the common room.

What she saw there gave her a moment's pause:

Mina Lupin was reading by firelight, reclining against the arm of the squashy red sofa closest to the hearth; the girl still wore the deceivingly innocent white dress, her legs stretched, crossed at the ankles, and propped on the cushions. In her right hand, she held a battered thesaurus and a smoldering cigarette; the other hand glided absentmindedly through Sirius Black's long black locks.

The boy himself appeared to be asleep, lying on his stomach and using hers as a pillow. He'd wrapped both his arm around her slender torso, holding on for dear life even in slumber. His left leg dangled off the sofa; the other leg was bent and wedged against the backrest. His t-shirt had ridden up a bit, exposing the dimples at the base of his shapely spine.

Lily just stared. They really were quite sweet together.

The redhead took a few steps closer, not wanting to sneak up or even interact but longing for her favorite spot near the fire.

Lupin flinched and nearly dropped the heavy tome on Black's head. "Shit," the girl swore, pretty, placid face twisting into a fierce mask, "Evans, one of these days, I'm going to put a bloody bell on you!"

"Sorry," Lily answered, rolling her eyes. She curled up in the nearby chair and opened _the Phantom Tollbooth_.

After only a brief bout of annoyed bristling, Lupin also returned to reading.

And that was nice. For a while.

But Lily couldn't concentrate, not with the storm rattling the window panes and the thunder making her jump; she wished she would've grabbed a book she didn't know practically by heart. "Why are you reading the thesaurus?" she wondered.

Lupin didn't look up but replied, "Because I only had two books down here, and I finished the other."

"What was the other?"

Glancing strangely over the top of the text, Lupin said, "_Treasure Island_."

"Oh," Lily laughed, "For your pirate thing, right?"

Lupin nodded. She took a long drag from her cigarette and then turned her attention back to the anthology of synonyms.

And, really, Lily wasn't trying to be a pain; she absolutely _hated_ when people interrupted her own reading. But it was the middle of the night; she felt like talking to someone, and Lupin was the lone option. Besides, the sandy-haired witch was trapped under her boyfriend and reading a _thesaurus_; she hadn't ordered Lily to leave, so maybe that meant Lupin wouldn't mind some company either.

"I like your dress," the redhead blurted.

Lupin glanced up, startled, skeptical. "What?" she drawled.

Summoning all her Gryffindor courage, Lily repeated, "Your dress. It's lovely. Were you and Black on a date today?"

The soft, adoring smile was there and gone so quickly it was almost just a trick of the flickering flames. "I don't know," Lupin muttered, "I suppose... ya, sure. Why not?"

Lily thought the reaction odd, but no more odd than usual. "Do anything fun?" she inquired lightly.

The next smile was blatantly lecherous.

"Oh, Merlin," said Lily, doing her best not to turn scarlet, "Forget I asked."

And at that, Lupin gave a throaty laugh. "You are too easy," she declared. She tossed the thesaurus onto the ground, flicked the cigarette butt into the fire, and stretched her arms over her head, cracking at least a dozen joints at once.

Black murmured and shifted grumpily until his girlfriend went back to stroking his hair.

"Mutt," she called him fondly. Then she looked over at Lily again, seeming to remember that the other girl was there. "Alright, ginger," she declared, "If I'm going to be stuck entertaining you, then I want that same immunity deal James got."

Lily spluttered. "I wouldn't... put it like _that_," she insisted.

Smirking maliciously, Lupin challenged, "Did you or did you not wheedle highly classified, highly illegal secrets out of my friend with the promise that there would be no tattling or consequences?"

Again, not the words Lily would've used, but arguing semantics with a girl who spent her spare time reading the thesaurus was probably a fool's errand. "I did," the redhead sighed.

"And do you or do you not want to be entertained?" was the next question, "I just assumed, you know? Since you're desperate enough to be bothering _me_ in the middle of the night."

And again, Lily sighed. "I do."

Lupin grinned. "Well, ok then," she chuckled, "I now pronounce us reluctant allies in the fight against boredom. Try not to be too much of a drag." She reached between the sofa cushions and produced a hip flask, which she flung at Lily a bit harder than strictly necessary.

With a squeak, Lily caught the metallic container. Barely. She gave the contents an exploratory sniff. The smell was positively corrosive.

"That's called the Headless Horseman," Lupin explained, looking far too pleased with herself, "Pumpkin juice and firewhiskey." She found another flask, identical except for the sunburst etched on its side. The girl took a long pull before she remarked, "I can't stand firewhiskey, so I make mine with pumpkin juice and vodka and call it the Slutty Cinderella. Now drink up."

As Lily stared in horror (wondering what the hell she'd just gotten herself into), Lupin rummaged through the sofa cushions and produced an improbable array of treats: Chocolate Frogs, Cauldron Cakes, Ice Mice, Every Flavor Beans, crisps, biscuits, doughnuts, strawberries, truffles, marshmallows, apples, marzipan, popcorn, toffee, and (somehow) an entire tray of cupcakes. With sprinkles.

"You charmed the sofa to store your snacks?" the prefect asked, rather impressed at the volume of food, at the fact that none of it looked the least bit squished or sat on. She moved her own chair closer.

Lupin grinned proudly, answering, "One of James's more useful strokes of genius. The house-elves adore him, so they keep us well stocked." She hurled a pack of muggle playing cards at Lily, scolding, "Don't even think of claiming you don't drink. I saw you in Jamaica."

Of course she did. And rather than argue that _having two refreshing beers on a tropical vacation_ was not the same as _getting pissed off some disgusting firewhiskey concoction in the common room_, Lily took a sip from the flask.

The burning sensation that filled her mouth and blazed a path all the way down her esophagus into her empty stomach must've been how the beverage had gotten its name. She tried to cough, but her diaphragm seemed to have seized.

Greatly enjoying the reaction, Lupin gobbled an entire Frog in one bite and giggled, "Wow. I can't believe you actually did it. You're just full of surprises."

"_Shut... up..._" Lily wheezed. After a few moments of concentration, she was able to get past the initial shock to her system. And to discover that the searing pain in her gut had been replaced by a pleasant warmth that did not go unwelcomed on such a cold, rainy night. The Headless Horseman even had a rather nice aftertaste. Like hot, smoky cinnamon. "It's... not bad," she remarked.

Lupin stared quizzically, chuckling, "Evans, I was fucking with you. Only idiots drink that swill." She held out the other flask. "Here, have some of mine."

"That's alright," Lily insisted, stubbornly. She took another tentative sip. The burn wasn't quite as severe, but it was certainly still there. An insistent, glowing heat. She was starting to understand why so many people enjoyed firewhiskey, which paired nicely with pumpkin juice. "It's kind of growing on me," she murmured. And, with a daring smirk, the redhead added, "Besides, I don't know where your mouth has been lately."

For a moment, Lupin just looked shocked. But then she gave an inelegant snort and began to laugh. "Mind out the gutter, ginger!" she scolded, murky blue eyes alight with delighted wickedness, "Or I might be tempted to tell dear James exactly who's been so eagerly tonguing his flask-hole."

Lily's next swallow nearly gushed out her nose. When the girl was done hacking up a lung, she looked down at the container and noticed the pair of antlers etched into the metal.

Profanity that she didn't even know she knew (some of which wasn't words, just rude-sounding syllables strung together without logic) exploded inside her mind.

Surely Lupin would've just laughed harder if she'd been able to hear the internal tirade. "Holy fuck," the sandy-haired demon cackled, "Your face!" There was an unflattering impression, another snort, a chortle, a guffaw, and then, "Oh, Circe! I'm going to pee!"

Black made an unhappy grunt and burrowed his face into her stomach.

Lily consoled herself with a cupcake and (without thinking) another kiss to James Potter's flask-hole.

xxXxx

"There she is. Go seduce her."

"Wait," said Sirius, blinking owlishly, "_I'm_ seducing her?"

Mina spared him the sort of glance that most people reserve for beloved but dim family pets. "Of course," the girl declared, "Who the hell else is going to do it? Prongs's idea of seduction is years of pathetic stalking-"

"It's called persistence!"

"And Moony'll probably just end up giving a lecture on Goblin Rebellions-"

"Intelligence is attractive!"

With a mocking smirk and a saucy hair toss, Mina ignored the interruptions and continued, "C'mon, Pads. You talked your way into most of the knickers in school. Can't you get one measly Hufflepuff panting for Pete?"

Sirius bristled. "No woman can resist my charms," he insisted smoothly, "Which I believe you know firsthand."

Unfazed, Mina teased, "My self-control has always been a bit lacking."

Remus snorted, "_A bit_?"

But before the twins could further discuss Mina's poor impulse control or the details of Operation Lusty Badger (also known as Operation Convince Clara Duncan to Fall Desperately in Love with Wormtail so He'll Be Less Depressed That His Dad Dropped Dead of a Heart Attack), a matching set of redheaded aurors appeared in the doorway of the Great Hall. Their dark eyes shrewdly scanned the crowd and finally landed on the Marauders. The two men stalked forward like irate freckled gorillas.

"_You_," Fabian snarled, fist shaking around his wand, "Are the _devil_."

Mina responded with an expression of utter innocence. "And a happy Monday to you, too," the girl giggled, "Nice weekend?"

The brothers continued to loom threateningly. Sirius guessed they were used to people cowering from their we-are-big-and-scary-and-will-crush-you-puny-skull routine. However, the Prewetts would get no such reaction from the Marauders.

Finally, Gideon growled, "We spent our weekend looking for your _Herbology project_. Found it, by the way. With the help of an _anonymous tip_."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, trying not to look so thrilled that they'd taken his bait.

"You bastards!" teased Mina, "That was supposed to be a surprise! We weren't planning on unveiling the project until seventh year!"

Remus went from panic to confusion, though he didn't say anything that might give away the game.

"I feel violated," Sirius contributed, "Sunshine, don't you feel violated? After all, what business does Magical Law Enforcement have disrupting our important scientific studies?"

Snickering, Mina declared, "None at all. But I'm impressed they found it, let alone got through the wards. What'd you think of them?"

"I think whoever you hired to erect them is going to be getting a visit from us very soon," Fabian growled, "Half are illegal without permits, and the other half definitely violate the spirit of the laws if not the letter. It was Jack Wyvern, wasn't it? I warned that prick about moonlighting. You'd think he'd be content being the highest paid curse-breaker on the continent-"

Sirius gasped, feigning shock. "First you harass poor Daisy, and now you give other people credit for our work? For _shame_, Prewetts."

(From the corner of his eye, Sirius saw James and Remus exchange a look and mouth, _Who's Daisy?_)

The Prewetts' mouths dropped open in perfectly synced shock. "There is no way," Fabian announced, "You didn't. You couldn't have. That was... a day and a half of hell-"

"We couldn't find our way out," Gideon murmured, face turning red in anger and humiliation, "All those _tentacles_-"

"That _horrid_ laughter," said Fabian. He shivered. "And the _locusts_. I think I saw Great Uncle Bilius, but he's been dead for ten years-"

"I was _underwater_!" Gideon shrieked, starting to seem a bit hysterical, "We were in the middle of the fucking forest! _How was I underwater_?"

"It wasn't a real chimera, right?"

"And the Queen doesn't think I'm fat?"

"And my children won't be born without anuses?"

"And there's nothing under my bed?"

There was more, but Sirius was having a hard time listening past the sound of his and his friends' raucous mirth.

Wiping a tear out of her eye, Mina cackled, "Oh, gentlemen. Not to worry. What you're experiencing is called the Massive Mind Fuck. The effects can take a few days to dissipate."

"If you're lucky," said Sirius, "That was just the average of all the times I tested it."

The gauntlet consisted of about fifty charms (a delightful combination of the befuddling, the hallucinogenic, and the just downright _mean_) that had (over the course of many months) been painstakingly placed like the most intricate domino display; once one was triggered, the rest couldn't be stopped, trapping victims in a maelstrom of deeply traumatizing, paranoia-inducing nonsense. It was disturbing and terrifying but not at all harmful (kind of like a boggart if a boggart could give a person a very bad acid trip). But the MMF wasn't even the point. Rather, the spectacularly alarming spectacle was just meant to distract potential intruders from the fact that they were slowly veering away from Mina and Sirius's healthy marijuana crop and toward a secondary clearing several miles away. The clearing where Daisy resided.

"What the fuck was that vicious creature at the end?" Gideon demanded. He shakily lit a cigarette, oblivious to the scandalized stares and whispers, to McGonagall barreling toward him like impending detention (or whatever the adult equivalent was). "Never seen such a thing. Looked like a herd of giant squids trying to shag an enormous rhubarb pie-"

"PREWETTS!" the professor shrieked, "MY OFFICE! _NOW_!"

Both men flinched. Wide-eyed, Fabian quietly hissed, "Oh, _Merlin_. She was there, too. Wearing _tassels_-"

Because, ya, he'd experienced a similarly upsetting vision, Sirius took pity on the frazzled auror and elbowed him in the leg

Soon, the Prewett twins were being dragged away by their ears.

Mary slid away from her chat with Dorcas, joining the group at the same moment Remus cast a spell to protect their conversation from eavesdroppers. "What did you two do?" the nervous werewolf demanded, "Who's Daisy?"

Beaming, Mina boasted, "Daisy is a decoy Herbology project. Tons of people have heard us discuss a Herbology project, so we thought it would look strange if we never actually turned one in."

"Anyone who goes searching for our crops," Sirius contributed, very proud of himself and his wicked girl, "Has to pass through the wards, also known as the Massive Mind Fuck. The MMF is so distressing that people walking through don't realize they're changing direction. And then at the end, they get to meet the world's only Venomous Tentacula, Snargaluff Tree, Devil's Snare, Whomping Willow hybrid."

"We call her Daisy," said Mina, smug yet affectionate. "She's not _at all_ friendly."

Remus stared for a moment and then dropped his head into his hands. "They're going to turn you in," he muttered, "If not for the elaborately illegal booby trap, then for the stupidly illegal plant monster you've somehow created."

With an affronted gasp, Mina scolded, "Moony! Daisy is not a monster! She's misunderstood!"

"And Sprout lets the NEWT classes do whatever breeding experiments they want," Sirius announced, "We just started early. The professor will be very impressed with our extra years of meticulous research."

"I don't think the Prewetts will turn us in either," continued Mina, "Because then they would have to explain how they were bested by a pair of schoolchildren and an ornery shrub." She gave one more maniacal giggle before circling back to, "Now forget them! Operation Lusty Badger awaits!"

Remus groaned. "We are _not _calling it that."

Mina grinned. "Too late. It's catchy."

"It kind of is," Mary chimed, "Sounds like a fun name for a pub. _The Lusty Badger_..."

While Sirius agreed that the name was inspired (it was his idea, after all), the young man wasn't too pleased about the fact that he was expected to be the one who seduced Clara Duncan. "I'm not so sure this'll work," he declared, "I mean, the main thing Pete has going for him at the moment is the sympathy factor. Am I really the best person to highlight that?"

His friends mulled. Sirius tried not to be too offended when they completely concurred with him. Comments ranged from "he is kind of an insensitive prick" to "yes, perhaps we need someone slightly more tactful than dragon dung."

"Thanks, mates," the young man grumbled. But, actually, he was still in a fantastic mood. Between smoking himself stupid most of the weekend and spending the last few evenings sleeping wrapped around his girlfriend, Sirius had found some relief from his nightmares.

By the time breakfast ended, they were still trying to decide who would be handed the vital job of talking to Clara Duncan, laying the groundwork for when Peter returned to school.

Sirius and Mina missed the last bit of the conversation because Professor Lazarov appeared in front of them on the way out of the Great Hall.

The new Defense instructor froze them in place with her frankly quite scary gaze. Skeletally thin and skeletally pale, she drawled, "I vould like to speak vith you now. Black and girl Lupin."

"We didn't do it," Mina answered automatically. Then, as the rest of the demand sank in, she wrinkled her nose. "_Girl Lupin_?"

But rather than debate nomenclature, Lazarov turned on her heel and stalked off, expecting the two students to follow.

They did, but not because they'd been told to: because they were curious.

The only thing that frightened most people more than a vampire was a Lazarov vampire. Rumors abounded about the legendary clan (alleging everything from bestiality to ritual human sacrifice); however, reliable history books told a much simpler story.

In the mid 1400s, a poor Bulgarian wizard named Tsvetan Lazarov encountered a vampire in a pub. Whether Tsvetan made the conversion willingly or not was always hotly debated (alcohol reportedly played a part), but the end result was the same. For a few hundred years, Tsvetan led the life of an average fledgling: solitude, wealth building, an occasional murder, unwavering fealty to his sire and clan.

Then, at the stroke of midnight on January 1, 1700, Tsvetan slaughtered his sire and nearly his entire clan.

Again, the information was a bit hazy on _why_, but whatever the reason, Tsvetan had done the unthinkable. For the vampire community, it was high treason. The other clans went after him, but what they didn't know was that he'd been quietly turning and recruiting a substantial following of his own. He spawned an actual civil war (_the_ Vampire Civil War), and when the dust finally settled (which wasn't just a saying; several villages were choked with the dust of vampire corpses), the world's relatively small vamp population was halved, with the other clans suffering the majority of loses; Europe, Asia, and most of North America were exclusively Lazarov territory.

Hostilities died down for the most part, though the ruthless and bloodthirsty reputation remained. The Lazarovs themselves were rarely observed directly. In fact, since the war, the only time any were active in the wizarding world was when various Ministries began handing down ridiculous anti-creature legislation. Lazarovs turned out in droves for peaceful protests.

In the last decade or so, there had been a marked decline in even that level of involvement from the most famous of the clans, even when more laws were passed limiting their freedoms. No one thought they were giving up, which just made everyone nervous about what Tsvetan Lazarov was actually planning.

Which of course translated to borderline panic when word got out that Dumbledore had stationed one of Tsvetan's children at Hogwarts.

What few wizards seemed to notice was that, since the war, vampire-on-human attacks and murders in the Lazarov territories were completely unheard of; Tsvetan may have committed atrocities in the past, he may have perpetrated a bloody coup and wiped out a vast percentage of his own kind, but since then, he'd been nothing but well-behaved, and he obviously demanded the same from his kin.

Mina had always been understandably fascinated by and passionate about anything to do with Creature Rights. While most people feared the Lazarovs, the sandy-haired witch held them in the highest esteem, as shining examples of supposed Dark Creatures who had proven themselves relatively harmless and were being persecuted by an ignorant public and an unjust Ministry.

(Sirius, as her best friend and boyfriend, had listened to the speeches, rants, and tirades more times than he could count. Though he still had some trepidations and lingering uncertainties about Professor Lazarov, Mina's contagious enthusiasm far outweighed them.)

The dark-haired vampire didn't lead the two students far, just a few steps toward the quietest corner of the Entrance Hall. She spun, an imposing figure with her trim black robes and razor-sharp features. "You vere not in my class last veek," she accused. Her English was close to fluent, her accent noticeable but unobtrusive. Eastern European, obviously; Sirius guessed Bulgarian, as that was where the Lazarovs were centered (the unofficial capital of a vampire nation that only existed in theory).

"Peter Pettigrew's father died," Mina answered, immediately growing defensive, "We were all at the funeral that day. Dumbledore excused us-"

Professor Lazarov waved off the objection. "Vas a vaste of time anyvays," she insisted, "I introduce myself to all classes and say _I am a vampire. Vhat qvestions do you have?_ They ask _can you turn into a bat?_" After a brief noise of disgust, the youngish-looking woman continued, "Your past teachers, they taught you _nothing_."

Smirking sideways at Sirius, Mina asked, "Remember the bloke from third year? He was practically scared of his own shadow. He barely even let us take our wands out in class. We had him convinced there were Lethifolds in the dungeons."

Lazarov frowned. "The Lethifold is found only in tropical climates."

Sirius snickered at the memory, explaining, "Ya, that's why it was so funny."

The professor stared at them in that vacant, vaguely predatory way she had. Finally, she declared, "I vas upset you vere not in class because I vanted to varn you. This veek I vill give lessons on the Unforgivable Curses. There vill be demonstrations. You both have experienced Cruciatus, yes?"

Sirius stiffened. He felt Mina stiffen beside him. They nodded in tandem.

"You vill sit at the back of the room," Lazarov murmured, her sharp features and barely visible fangs an unsettling sight in the shadowed corner, "Near the door. If you cannot handle my lecture, then you may leave. _Qvietly_."

Objectively, Sirius knew that it was very nice of the professor to offer; it was nice that she'd considered how two victims of the horrid curse might react to hearing about and possibly reliving their trauma in an academic setting.

However, as a Gryffindor and a Marauder, the young man couldn't help taking offense to the insinuation that he couldn't _handle himself_.

And from the murderous glint in Mina's murky blue eyes, the petite witch had been similarly insulted by the undead professor's kind gesture.

xxXxx

As a general rule, Marauders didn't sit in the front row. Well, Remus had probably started doing so since his stubborn insistence on sticking with History had resulted in his being alone in that class and his separate Defense period, but those were the only exceptions. The rest were really more of a goofing-off-in-the-back sort of crowd, and Mina's philosophy had always been that _more_ was better than _less _when it came to distance between herself and authority figures.

She and Sirius created quite a stir when they arrived early at the Defense classroom and staked themselves seats in the center of the first row of desks.

The view was so... different. It was strange not having a sea of heads spread out before her. Mina hoped the lesson wouldn't be too boring; most of the boredom-induced behaviors she got away with in the back of the room would be easily noticeable now that her buffer was gone.

"What the hell are you doing up here?" James demanded warily when he finally abandoned chatting up Evans outside.

Sirius gave a tight, rather insincere smile. "Just felt like a change of scenery," he replied.

"Get that stupid look off your face, Prongs," Mina growled, "Maybe if you hadn't been so busy drooling over Evans all day, you'd know what we're doing up here."

A flicker of hurt passed through the tall teen's bright hazel eyes before he stomped off toward his usual seat.

Mina refused to let herself feel guilty. The only reason he didn't know what they were doing was that he _hadn't been listening when they told him_.

Mary had listened and decided to skive off rather than sit through a practical demonstration of the Imperius. (After what Mulciber did to the girl, Mina couldn't blame her.)

Remus had listened, defending the professor and saying how thoughtful she was for warning them. (And even though he didn't take their side, at least he _listened_.)

James, however, had apparently paid no attention at all. He discretely ogled Evans during Potions; he conversed excitedly with her during lunch; he daydreamed about her during Muggle Studies, which she wasn't even _in_. And Mina was really starting to miss the days when the redhead could be relied upon to keep James's crush in check, not fucking _encourage it_.

But that was an issue that would have to wait for another time.

"Take your seats," Professor Lazarov snapped as she arrived suddenly from her office. She glided eerily down the steps, dark eyes narrowing when she saw Mina and Sirius.

The pair returned the icy stare.

Lazarov waved her wand and seconds later a small cage appeared on her desk.

A large black rat ran frantic laps in the space behind the bars.

"Today," the professor began, "Ve vill be studying the Unforgivable Curses. In a Defense class, this should have been vhat you learned your first day of your first year. But I suppose that vill be the theme of many of my lessons: things you should already know."

Ignoring the stunned, horrified whispers suddenly filling the room, Lazarov continued, "Who can name one of the curses?"

Mina and Sirius both raised their hands.

The professor's expression wavered between suspicious and...pleased? "Yes," she said, pointing, "Girl Lupin."

Scowling, Mina quipped, "Can I just be Lupin? My brother isn't even here."

Lazarov glared.

"The Cruciatus Curse," Mina growled in reply, "Used solely to inflict massive amounts of pain. Volderella and his cowardly cult are especially fond of it for torturing helpless muggles and children."

There was some annoyed muttering from the few Slytherins in class.

"Correct," Lazarov answered, "But do not make the mistake of thinking that only Death Eaters are evil enough to cast such a curse." She held up a handful of pale, spidery fingers. "Five times the Ministry has nearly authorized its aurors to use Cruciatus for capturing and interrogating suspects." She paused a moment, letting that sink in with the frightened, bewildered class. "Tell me, girl Lupin, do you believe this is justified?"

Mina shook her head, roaring, "No! Aurors make mistakes, and they'll without a doubt end up torturing innocent people!"

"But if the other side is using it, then why not level the playing field?"

Turning in her seat, Mina found the person who made the comment—Drip Fawcett, loud-mouth, thickset Hufflepuff—and glared menacingly. "Because it _doesn't_ level the playing field," she snapped, "In a duel, a stunner or a body-bind actually does a _better_ job of incapacitating suspects. Only a sadist would inflict unnecessary torture or risk hitting a bystander with something so foul."

Drip glared back (a bit uncertainly) and countered, "Well, what about interrogations? Shouldn't aurors be able to use any means necessary to get important information out of prisoners? Especially information that could save lives?"

"Veritaserum and Legilimency are far more effective in the vast majority of cases," Mina insisted, "Besides, part of the problem with the Cruciatus is that you have to _mean it_. You have to actually want to make another person suffer like they've never suffered before. Should someone who can do that really be in charge of public safety? Is the curse any less unforgivable just because an auror is the one casting it?"

The Hufflepuff opened his mouth to argue, but Mina cut him off, only half aware that she was starting to shout, "Plus, there's still the concern about torturing innocent people. Just because someone is being interrogated doesn't mean they know anything. What happens when a suspect has no information to give? When they have nothing to offer to make the pain stop? Aurors aren't exactly known for their restraint, and if you want to see the inevitable end to that scenario, then all you have to do is take a walk through the Permanently Addled Ward at Mungo's. There are only a few victims of prolonged Cruciatus because most don't survive very long once their minds have shattered. I certainly wouldn't want to live that way, vacant and drooling, basically just an empty shell shitting in a bedpan-"

"Lupin," the professor interrupted sharply, her thin lips betraying a slight hint of amusement, "Spirited discussion is encouraged in my classroom, but vulgarities are not."

Mina shrugged.

And Lazarov didn't call her on it, didn't try to make her apologize, didn't take points.

It was... refreshing.

Of course, any burgeoning affection for the professor was gone a moment later when she pointed her wand at the rat and calmly declared, "_Crucio_."

The room filled with a keening, squeaky shriek, all eyes fixed on the writhing animal, its flailing limbs and arching spine.

Then it was over. And the only sound was the exhausted animal's feeble gasps for air as it lay twitching in the cage.

Mina didn't realize she was shaking until she tried to speak and could barely force any words past the lump in her throat. "You just had to pick a creature that could scream, didn't you? Couldn't have gone with a slug or... or a bloody spider. Nobody likes spiders."

Lazarov didn't answer; she'd already turned toward the chalkboard and was writing something about neural pathways and pain thresholds. It all looked quite technical, at complete odds with the primal agony the class had witnessed from the unfortunate rodent.

xxXxx

Devouring a pound and a half of chocolate might've made Mina feel better after the arduous Defense class, but the choice of comfort food certainly didn't do her any favors during quidditch practice. And snapping at James earlier... well, the girl resolved to try to remember not to be cross with him on days when he would be able to wield his captain powers against the entire team as punishment.

By the end of the grueling hours, the only person who hadn't complained was little Suzi Kemp, who wasn't even an official player. Mina resolved to add "how to mutiny when the captain goes power-mad" to the girl's training.

"Ugh," Mary groaned when she finally dragged herself out of the shower, "Everything hurts."

Mina nodded in agreement, arms too tired to wring the excess moisture out of her dripping hair. Her stomach felt like it was full of tortured rats. "If I had more energy," she said, sprawled half-clothed on the bench, "I'd go catch one of those bloody great big giant spiders and put it in his bed. Let's see how many laps he can make us run with fangs stuck in his arse."

Smirking, already showered, dressed, and ready to head to dinner, Suzi argued, "It wasn't so bad. Yvette and I did a couple marathons over the summer, so the running was a breeze."

"Well, aren't you special?" grumbled Mina.

"Actually," Suzi continued, "That reminds me. Yvette asked me to ask you what you're planning on doing to Clara Duncan."

Mina frowned. "What? Nothing."

"Are you sure?" Suzi demanded, disbelief written all over her pretty face, "Because Yvette noticed all of you staring at Clara. They're friends, so Yvette got worried you were going to play a prank. Clara's kind of... fragile. She's one of those girls who cries over everything. So you shouldn't prank her. Not unless you want to make her cry."

Rolling her eyes, Mina declared, "We're not going to prank her-"

"Then why have you been staring at her?" the blonde third-year interrupted impatiently.

Mina yawned. "I'm not at liberty to discuss ongoing operations."

"Merlin's sake," Mary said with a snort and an eye roll, "They're trying to find a girlfriend for Peter."

Rubbing her gurgling tummy, Mina muttered, "Traitor."

"Oh," said Suzi. Her brown eyes went a bit wide as she reported, "You definitely don't want Clara. She may seem all sweet and quiet, but the girl is _mad_. And _clingy_. Remember Doran Breen?"

"No," Mina replied.

"He took Clara on one Hogsmeade trip," Suzi explained, "Then she practically stalked him for the rest of their third year. She mailed him _hair_. And not from her head. He ended up transferring to Durmstrang just to get away from her."

Aghast, Mina sat up and turned toward Mary, demanding, "How did you not know that?"

Mary huffed, buttoning her shirt as she declared, "Just because you can't be bothered with normal social interaction doesn't mean it's my job to keep track of everything that goes on in school."

Mina sighed, "Shit. Guess we need a new candidate."

Soon all three girls were back in their uniforms and ready to return to the castle. However, as soon as Mina stepped out of the locker room, someone tackled her to the ground.

The struggle was instant and instinctive. She wailed and cursed, struggling so violently against the expert pin that her shoulders nearly came out of their sockets.

"Bloody hell," said a familiar voice, "This is going to be much easier if you _cooperate_."

Mina stilled, spitting out gravel. "_Prewett_?" she growled irritably, "Shit. Is this about the Herbology project? Take a joke, you stupid prick. And get the fuck off me."

"We don't care what you're growing in the forest," snarled the Prewett not sitting on her spine (she thought probably Fabian), "Whether it's weed or a mutant squid creature. We'll figure out some bullshit for the report. But we have to get the memory from you. We can't leave otherwise. So think of that bloody prophecy."

"I'll think of your mum shagging a troll, you putrid cunt!" shouted Mina, renewing her furious but futile efforts to break free. "What the hell is wrong with you two?! You can't do this!" She felt the wandtip against her temple and completely, utterly panicked. Suddenly, the girl was shrieking hysterically. About two seconds from inexplicably _crying_.

Sirius saved her from that particular humiliation. He was suddenly there, launching himself at Gideon as James disarmed both brothers. The boys put themselves between her and the aurors.

"Deep breath, mates," Sirius soothed, oddly calm despite his threatening stance, "Our wards seem to have scrambled your brains a bit. Try to remember that you shouldn't be attacking defenseless girls, alright?"

"Defenseless my arse," Mina grumbled. She sat up, trying to force herself to stop trembling and her stomach to stop trying to expel its contents. But the feel of the wand against her head... she had no earthly idea why, but something about the sensation chilled her right to the bones. Shaking herself, the girl stumbled to her feet and glared daggers at the redheaded twins.

Of course, once she got a good look at them, Mina couldn't help feeling a bit of pity, too. The pair was definitely having a difficult time dealing with the lingering effects of the Massive Mind Fuck. Their eyes were wide, manic, and almost all pupil. Their pale skin and bright hair were drenched with sweat. And Gideon was trying to light the wrong end of a cigarette.

"Give us the memory," Fabian pleaded, twitching as his gaze darted anxiously, "And we can go home. We just want to go home."

"Sunshine," Sirius called over his shoulder, reaching a hand back and squeezing gently when Mina slid hers into it, "Are you ok?"

Huddling against the lad, Mina croaked, "I'm fine."

James shot her a sideways glance. The intense concern in his bright hazel eyes was impossible to ignore. "Are you sure?" he demanded, "Never head you scream like that-"

"I'm _fine_," the girl insisted gruffly. "The idiot just... probably... hit a pressure point... or... something." That explanation at least sort of made sense. She growled, "Fuck. What're we going to do with them?"

"Don't know about them," grumbled Sirius, "But we're definitely going to have to scale back the MMF again. Thought we fixed the psychosis thing..."

"_Psychosis_?!" Mary gasped, she and Suzi still watching the scene with horror, "You've given them _psychosis_?!"

Sirius shrugged. "Only a little. It wears off."

Groaning, James complained, "And in the meantime, they're crazy and violent and determine to yank memories out of Sunny's brain. Nice going, geniuses." He looked at the extra wands in his fist, gaping when he saw that one had a sickly sliver of translucent silver light squirming on the end.

Mina had no idea what the memory would show. She couldn't recall having any conscious thoughts at the moment of extraction, only the overwhelming experience of inexplicable terror that seized her entire body when the wand touched her temple...

"We could just give it to them," James suggested, "It's already done. And it'll get them to leave."

"No," Mina snarled, "They and the bloody fucking Ministry have _no right_ to be inside my head! Get rid of it! Destroy it! How do you destroy those things?"

Squeezing her hand again, Sirius murmured, "Sunny, if we don't give it to them, then they're going to stay here and keep trying to get the memory from you. Do you really want to go through that again? Sounded really painful..."

Before she could reply, an intense wave of nausea swept over Mina; her knees buckled, and she puked up a pound and a half of chocolate.

Within minutes, Sirius was carrying her to the Hospital Wing.

James, the aurors, and the stolen memory were nowhere to be found.

xxXxx

Lily woke to the sound of aggravated muttering and almost immediately guessed the source:

Mina Lupin was back from the Hospital Wing. And, seeing as how it was shortly past midnight, the girl had probably escaped without permission from her brief stay. "Bloody fucking useless bitch," Mina grumbled, stripping and changing so forcefully that Lily heard seams ripping, "_Eat less chocolate_. That's not fucking medicine. Goddamn quack."

While settling into bed, she did another ten minutes on _nosy, whore-faced, mush-brained aurors_ (spewing curses and swears that would make nuns spontaneously combust). She rummaged in her nightstand, unhappily popping the cork and drinking the contents of a vial of Sleeping Draught (the extra-strength stuff more suited to dragons than people).

Gradually, the girl's angry breathing steadied and slowed. And Lily joined her in slumber.

The second time Lily woke that night, only a few hours later, it was to the sound of thrashing and growling, and, once again, the source of the disturbance was not difficult to discover:

Mina Lupin was having a nightmare. There was nothing very unusual about that; the girl didn't sleep much, but the sleep she did manage was restless at best. Sometimes it was just plain _bad_.

Lily laid back and listened, trying to determine what level of horribleness Lupin was experiencing on that particular evening, if the sandy-haired witch would manage to wake herself and stomp away in a fit of frustrated anger, like usual. Or if Lily would have to shake her back into consciousness.

(It had only gotten that far twice before, once in second year and once in fourth. Both times, Lily had been brought out of her own dreams to the sound of Lupin weeping brokenly, curled in the fetal position and mumbling what sounded like _James, no_, again and again; both times, Lily hadn't been able to stand the grief-stricken sobs and had jostled Lupin until the girl's murky blue eyes finally opened, but... she didn't appear to fully wake, just silently staring at nothing until the tears ran dry. Both morning-afters, Lupin seemed genuinely confused when Lily tried to talk to her about the incidents...)

A loud _CRASH_ had Lily bolting upright. She squinted through the moonlight at the bed beside the door and saw that Lupin had knocked over her nightstand. Broken vials of Sleeping Draught leaked dark purple ooze all over the crimson-and-gold rug.

In the next bed, Mary snorted awake. "Whu?" the tall keeper muttered, sitting up and rubbing her bleary eyes.

"Shhh, everything's fine," Lily whispered, padding softly across the room. A quick flick of her wand cleaned the puddle of potion and shards of glass. She took a few steps closer and righted the nightstand the muggle way.

By that time, Mary had also crawled out from beneath her covers and joined Lily at Lupin's bedside.

It looked like a running dream. At least from the slender Animagus's panting breaths and jerking limbs. Sweat had drenched the girl's body and sheets, plastering her chaotic hair to her ashen face. Her feral snarl looked positively vicious, like she might sink her teeth into the nearest jugular.

Lily reached out to shake the girl's shoulder, but before she could, Lupin went completely limp. She drew in a sharp, horrified breath. Her eyes flew open... open but unseeing, just like the other bad nights...

"Why?" Lupin whimpered, confusion and sorrow and terror all squeezed into the one simple question.

And then, with a sickening _crack_, her head snapped so suddenly and so violently to the right that Lily swore the girl had somehow just broken her own neck.

Mary smothered a startled scream with both hands, staring wide-eyed.

Lily didn't breathe again until she saw that Lupin was still breathing.

"What the hell was that?" hissed Mary, "She... i-is she ok? It looked like... l-like something _hit _her..." Rapidly switching to panic as her own thought sank in, the tall keeper scanned the darkness for signs of a phantom intruder.

"I'm sure it was just another nightmare," Lily insisted, nudging Lupin's eyelids shut and gently rearranging her head into a more natural position (one that made her look less like a broken doll), "They're normally not that bad, but she seems ok now..."

Mary took a lot of convincing to go back to bed, and even then, Lily could tell she was watching over her friend instead of trying to go back to sleep.

Lily's own worry kept the redhead awake a lot longer in the eerie silence...

Lupin spent the whole next morning complaining about her sore neck, blaming James for being a tyrant on the quidditch pitch and the Prewetts for burglarizing her brain and the house-elves for giving her a lumpy pillow.

xxxxxxxxxx

TA DA! A nice long chapter full of excitement! And right on time, too!

I'm amazing :)

Reviews are like a box of chocolate: ALL FOR ME!


	31. Syzygy

Part 31 – Syzygy

"Who exactly is this Voldemort tit?" Mina asked loudly, heedless of the stares of incredulous terror that came at her from every direction. The girl continued to read the newspaper over her brother's shoulder, adding, "And what's his fucking problem? I wouldn't let a freak like him tongue my arsehole, let alone run my society."

James laughed so hard milk shot out his nose.

(Ok, so maybe it wasn't a laugh as much as a horror-stricken choke that resulted in the unusual expulsion of dairy.)

Sighing heavily, Remus folded up the article about the Death Eaters' latest torture-murder spree and scolded, "Sunny, remember we had that talk about not antagonizing people who kill for fun?"

"Vaguely," Mina said with a shrug, "But, come on. This guy is ridiculous. And not even original. He's taking most of his plays right out of the Adolf Hitler handbook. I bet the prick is even sporting a tacky shit-stain moustache."

That did earn a slight, albeit reluctant chuckle from her brother. "What you're saying," Remus teased, as he swapped his newspaper for his novel, "Is that you'd prefer a Dark Lord with a little more imagination?"

Mina smirked and answered, "I'd prefer one that didn't recruit almost exclusively from the inbred and mentally deficient. No offense, Paddy-cakes."

"I'm just thrilled I was born with the correct number of toes," the young man replied, cheerfully devouring his third bacon sandwich.

Buzzing past on her way out of the Hall, quidditch junkie Suzi Kemp demanded, "Is there practice today?"

"We have the pitch from four to six," James said, nostrils still dribbling a bit of milk, "And depending how many people are interested, I might organize a run for tomorrow morning."

"When pigs fly out my arse," declared Mina.

"I'd rather gargle Filch's piss," Sirius agreed.

Looking up briefly from his morning novel, Remus shot them the Warning Glare; that probably meant they were coming close to their maximum daily allowance of swear words.

(Which was _so_ unfair; breakfast wasn't even over yet!)

(But the October full moon was only a week away, so Remus was allowed to be a little cross and bossy.)

Suzi beamed. "I'd love to go for a run!" the blonde chirped eagerly, "My sister Yvette and I do marathons together! I bet she'd love to come, too!"

"Well, the more the merrier," James laughed, waving to the third-year as she left, "As long as she's not secretly spying for Hufflepuff."

The next moment, a tiny ball of black curls hurled itself against his side. "James," pouted Tia, flapping a length of parchment, "Astronomy is _hard_! I don't _get it_! I'm going to _fail_!"

Putting a soothing arm around the sprite's slender shoulders, James soothed, "No worries, little one." He passed the parchment across to Mina, who made several small corrections on the simple star chart before handing it back. "There," James chuckled, "That's a guaranteed O for you. Mina is brilliant at Astronomy."

"Flattery will not make me run on a Saturday morning," Mina hummed, winking at Tia.

The tiny creature gave a bright giggle. She hugged James as hard as her little arms would allow, smiling at him adoringly and squealing, "Thanks! You're the bestest!" Soon, she skipped away to join her friends.

"Right," Mina grumbled good-naturedly, "I do all the work, and _you're_ the bestest."

"Tia loves her Jamie-poo," teased Sirius.

Preening, James ruffled his already anti-grav hair and countered, "Don't be jealous that I'm the favorite. Just means the girl has good taste."

Mina snorted. "If your ego gets any bigger, you're going to need to name it."

Sirius nodded. "I've always liked Basil," he suggested, "After Basil Horton. He and his mate invented that awesome braking charm."

"The Keitch-Horton Braking Charm," said Remus, not even bothering to look up as he gently turned a page, "Basil Horton and Randolph Keitch also founded the Comet Trading Company. After they retired from the Falcons, of course."

They stared at the bookish werewolf in awe. Finally, James declared, "Moony, you have never been sexier."

"Agreed," Mary murmured. Then, realizing what she'd said, the girl turned bright red and stared down at her eggs.

Consequently, she happened to miss Remus's lips stretching into a frankly quite lecherous smile... which was quite weird...

And that was when Peter slammed himself down in his usual seat, to James's right, across from Sirius. "Hey," he greeted, pale eyes bloodshot and pale skin somehow paler. Almost translucent and slightly blue in spots where his veins showed through.

"Pete!" Mina yelped, "What're you doing here? You weren't due back until Monday." They hadn't found him a bloody girlfriend yet! They thought they still had the weekend to come up with an acceptable candidate. (Hogwarts, they'd discovered, was severely lacking in sane single females.)

The podgy lad shrugged, explaining, "My mum was driving me crazy. Sorry to disappoint."

Rolling her eyes, Mina scolded, "C'mon, mate. You know that's not what I meant."

He shrugged again.

Frustrated at her ineffective mental filter and her oversensitive friend, Mina dug a bundle of parchment out of her bag. "Well, here then," she spat, tossing the papers onto the table, "Don't say I've never done anything for you."

Peter gingerly flipped through a few of the sheets and scrolls, frowning.

Remus frowned as well, opening his mouth to scold.

"Don't be a tosser, Moony," Mina snapped, "He's in mourning. Homework is the least I could offer. Especially with Operation Lusty Badger such a mess."

"Looks like a bloody month of homework," Sirius complained.

Mina smirked, "The two weeks he missed plus another four."

Vaguely impressed, James whispered, "And in Pete's handwriting, too. Very nice."

"Just don't get it wet," Mina ordered, "The books were quite specific on that. Water and forgery charms don't mix for some reason."

Dropping his head into his hands, Remus groaned, "And _why_ are you reading books on forgery charms?"

Mina snorted. "Moony, usually you don't ask such stupid questions. Are you feeling alright?"

Instead of launching into a predictable lecture, the sandy-haired werewolf _snarled_.

Once again all his friends stared at him in shock.

This time Mary broke the brief tension, clearing her throat and declaring, "Speaking of Charms, we're going to be late if we don't get going."

Quickly shaking off her brother's odd reaction to habitual mockery, Mina argued, "It's just _Aguamenti_ again. We've known that one for years. When Flitwick starts teaching something more challenging, then I'll worry about being on time."

That girl from the dorm ran past, crying.

Mina honestly still couldn't remember her name, and Remus and Mary were bound to get upset if she yelled _Oi, Ugly! What's your issue?_

"Charity," Mary whispered, rolling her eyes like she knew exactly what was going on in Mina's mind, "Charity Burbage. I guess she and Jack Corner finally broke up. I heard he was cheating on her with Ethelinda Wilkes."

Offended on behalf of her roommate, Mina summarized, "So you're telling me a Ravenclaw and a Slytherin fucked over a Gryffindor? This shall not stand!"

Mary chuckled, "You don't even like Charity."

"Of course not," said Mina, "She's a boring cow. But it's the principle. We can't let people get away with being such arseholes or with disrespecting our House... And besides, I'm in the mood for some pranks. Who better to target than idiots who we know deserve it?"

xxXxx

Lily Evans was _not _a slag, nor was she the type of girl who spent lunch snogging the Head Boy (or _any _boy) in the Ravenclaw dorm.

She really, really thought they went up there looking for a book. And maybe they did, originally, but then Hamish McDougal (with his tidy dark hair and broad, muscular shoulders and deep Scottish brogue) paused in the middle of their discussion about eighteenth-century spell-lore, smiled charmingly, and kissed her.

Bloody hell, he was a _really_ good kisser. Fit, handsome, smart, congenial. By all accounts, quite the catch.

Lily wasn't sure when they'd fallen into his bed or how long they'd been lazily snogging when she thought she detected a hushed giggle. The girl sat up and peered around the room. "What was that?"

"I didn't hear anything," crooned Hamish, drawing ticklish circles around her kneecap.

Which felt rather nice. "Maybe I imagined it," Lily decided, settling back into her previous position propped against the freshly laundered blue pillows. She grinned coyly up at Hamish, curling her hands around his delightfully solid ribcage.

He was leaning down again to capture her lips when the next strange noise came: a quiet whisper and tiny scurrying feet.

Hamish peered over the side of the bed and immediately shouted, "RAT!"

And then Lily was practically trampled by the seventh-year as he scrambled over her, leapt off the mattress, and began stomping wildly at the floor.

"SHIT! FUCK! STOP!"

Lily looked over just in time to see Mina Lupin roll out from under the adjacent bed, just in time for the sandy-haired witch to rescue the dumpy rat and get her own arm crushed under Hamish's large foot in the process.

There was a distinct _crunch_.

"_Son of a motherfucking_ _WHORE_!" Lupin bellowed, cradling the squirming rodent and her injured wrist, "Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

Dark eyes wide, Hamish stammered, "Me?! What... What are you even doing in here?!"

Lupin took several slow, measured breaths (like she knew exactly how to power through the agony of a broken bone). "I was looking for Pete's pet rat," the girl hissed, waggling the creature in the air as proof, gleefully waggling it again when she saw Hamish's horrified reaction to the rodent, "I was supposed to be watching the damn thing while Pete was gone, but I realized today that I'd lost it. Someone told me they'd seen it up here."

Lily, of course, knew that Lupin was lying, knew that the rat was, in fact, Pettigrew himself.

Damn Marauders. Their idiocy was downright _inescapable_.

"Do you just go around stomping every rat you see, McDougal?" Lupin growled, "Is that how you get your jollies, you sick twist?"

Hamish turned a rather unflattering shade of red. "I'm sick?" he demanded, "You're the one hiding under Carmine's bed! Bloody _peeping_!"

Rolling her eyes, Lupin climbed to her feet and quipped, "Don't flatter yourself. I was just trying to avoid getting caught, but Rizzo kept making me laugh, and then he made a run for it-"

"Rizzo?" Lily sighed, rubbing her throbbing temples, "Like Ratso Rizzo? From _Midnight Cowboy_?"

Lupin was trembling and had to be in pain, but she still had a teasing snigger in her. She was still able to taunt, "I wouldn't have figured you for X-rated cinema, but then again, I also wouldn't have figured you for afternoon delights with the King of the Prefects."

It was Lily's turn to turn red. "_Midnight Cowboy_ is only rated R," the teen insisted irritably, "The rating was changed in '71."

"Fascinating," Lupin replied. She swallowed hard, swaying dizzily. "Well," she said, "I'll just be going then-"

"I'll take you to the Hospital Wing," Lily declared.

Lupin gave her on odd look and answered, "Pass."

With an eye roll, Lily snapped, "I wasn't asking. Your arm is broken."

Shrugging, Lupin said, "Probably just a sprain. One of the boys will sort it. Last thing I need today is a lecture from that soul-sucking shrew."

Hamish frowned, seeming a bit confused by the girls' rapid-fire argument. "Madame Mary is very kind," the tall quidditch captain claimed adamantly, "You shouldn't talk about her like that."

Lupin smirked viciously, drawling, "And you shouldn't lure impressionable young girls into your dorm or murder beloved pets. Seems like we're both quite fond of doing things we shouldn't."

Before Lily or Hamish could splutter a reply, the sandy-haired she-devil tossed them one last mocking grin, spun on her heel, and stalked out of the room.

"Merlin," Hamish finally muttered, striking features stuck somewhere between aggravation and mortification (also known as the Mina Lupin Special), "How do you live with her? She's _mad_."

It wasn't the first time Lily had been asked that question, and even after five-going-on-six years, no good answer made itself apparent. "I have to make sure she gets healed," the redhead insisted, "That was no sprain..."

Hamish took her hand before she could leave, smiling uncertainly. "I really wasn't trying to _lure_ you," he said. He offered her the book that had been the reason for the visit in the first place. "I just like talking to you. And... you're quite lovely."

Trying not to smile too absurdly, Lily said, "Thanks. I think you're lovely as well."

(He absolutely was. He was exactly the type of boy every girl was taught to want.)

"I know it's still a few weeks away," Hamish continued, "But would you like to go with me on the next Hogsmeade trip?"

Surprised but flattered, Lily nodded. "Yes, that sounds nice."

xxXxx

The fact that the Marauders had never before specifically targeted a Head Boy or Girl had nothing to do with respect or restraint or even common sense; it had everything to do with Remus. In the past, even when there'd been blatant provocation, Remus had always been the one to call the rest off, to badger and nag and forbid and remind them how foolish and inappropriate it would've been to turn Lucius Malfoy's trousers fuchsia (second year) or to hex Adam Spinnet's ears off (fourth year) or to fill Golda Mandelbaum's bookbag with fire ants (fifth year) just for handing down sometimes deserved detentions.

However, no previous Heads had ever broken Remus's sister's arm.

"_POTTER!_"

James performed an extremely embarrassing (yet technically impressive) dive, trying to hide himself behind the nearest statue... unfortunately, the nearest statue happened to be the one of Eglantine the Emaciated, who ate one mung bean a day for the last forty years of her life. Even svelte as he was himself, James probably would've had more luck cowering behind a broomstick.

"Er," the young man began, peering uncertainly at the gorgeous yet enraged redhead barreling toward him, "Yes, Evans? Can I help you?"

"What did you do to Hamish?!" she shrieked. Her pretty face was red with anger. Her fists shook at her side. Oh, and there was a petulant stomp. That wasn't good. "He's in the Hospital Wing with his arms tied together in a bloody square knot!"

Perking up as he realized that he was blameless, James declared, "I didn't touch McDougal! Although apparently my attempts at talking Remus down were unsuccessful."

Evans blinked at him in confusion. "What?" she snarled, "Remus wouldn't-"

"He wasn't in the best mood even _before_ he caught Sirius healing the shoe print on Mina's wrist," James said. He tried to imply _McDougal picked the wrong end of the lunar cycle to hurt the twin of a werewolf, even on accident_.

"That's ridiculous," Evans replied, pouting and crossing her arms peevishly, "I know it was you! Just when I thought you were starting to grow up! You can't go around hexing every boy who asks me to Hogsmeade!"

James frowned. "McDougal asked you to Hogsmeade?" (Sunny definitely left out that part of the story.) "Now I wish it _was _me who put him in the Hospital Wing. I would've knotted something a lot more painful than his _arms_."

"_POTTER!_"

"Just kidding," the young man declared, forcing a weak smile (like he hadn't just subtly threatened to tie the Head Boy's cock in a bow, which actually wasn't too terrible of an idea), "Honestly, Evans. I had nothing to do with it. Ask Remus. Even _Mina_ tried to stop him. That was weird, y'know? Her being calm and reasonable, and Remus wanting to maim an authority figure..."

Although the girl still seemed confused and uncertain (and scorchingly sexy, but that was a given), Evans's expression began to soften. "You swear?" she challenged.

"All the bloody time," James answered, grinning cheekily just because he couldn't resist.

Evans smacked him lightly, almost playfully on the chest. A tiny grin bloomed on her face but melted quickly. "Oh dear," she murmured, turning slightly pink, "I'm sorry. I just figured it had to be you-"

"Because I'm a childish toe-rag?" the young man teased. "Well, I can't find any fault in your reasoning, but this time Remus seems to have saved me from my own destructive impulses." With one last shrug, he grudgingly added, "McDougal is a decent enough bloke. Bit bland, in my opinion, but I'm sure you'll have a nice time with him."

And then James turned and walked away, hoping his maturity and restraint would impress the girl of his dreams.

And they might've, if Ethelinda Wilkes hadn't appeared with a sudden screech, her entire body turned a hideous shade of green that James liked to call _electric eucalyptus_.

Running from the scene of the crime, the young man distinctly heard a familiar shout of, "_POTTER!_"

xxXxx

"That's it?" Mina demanded, scowling adorably, "You turned her green? That's your idea of a prank? Merlin, you're getting unimaginative in your old age."

James pouted absurdly, almost shoving the girl off his bed as he argued, "That was just phase one. Tomorrow, her wisdom teeth are going to leap out of her mouth and transform into tap-dancing mice. The day after, her tits are going to become quite... cube-ish."

Sirius watched as his girlfriend imagined such a scenario.

Finally, the sandy-haired witch smiled and laughed, "Ok, I take it back. That sounds hilarious."

"Damn right," grumbled James, "And anyways, before you criticize me and Padfoot, you might want to actually make your move on Corner. Since this is apparently a competition now."

With a smirk, Mina declared, "You really don't want that. What me and Wormtail did to Corner is one for the History books."

"Wormtail and I," sighed Remus. He continued to lie in his bed, flat on his back with an arm flung across his eyes. "And, actually, I think I'm currently in the lead of any prank competition."

"For now," Mina giggled, leaping across the center of the round tower room, from James's mattress to her brother's. She half-tackled the morose werewolf and gave him a sorely needed snuggle. "Did I mention how impressed we are?" the girl teased, "You _have_ to teach me that hex."

Remus made a noise that his friends knew meant _I am disgusted with your behavior_ (only now it was directed at himself). "I don't know what's wrong with me," he declared, "Last month, I had barely any symptoms and even an easy transformation. This time around, it's still a week out, and I feel like ripping someone apart with my bare hands. I hexed the bloody _Head Boy_!"

"And _got away with it_!" Sirius pronounced proudly, about to explode with glee, "You are a god among werewolves, Moony dearest."

"It was completely uncalled for," insisted Remus, "I acted like an animal. And I don't know _why_."

"You realize there was a lunar eclipse last month, right?" Peter spoke up suddenly, sprawled across the bed between Remus's and James's. They all gaped at the pale, pudgy boy until he grumbled, "I don't know. It might explain things."

"Holy shit," Mina declared, smacking herself sharply on the forehead, "You're right!"

Frowning, Remus argued, "But eclipses have never had much effect before."

Mina dove into her brother's trunk, flinging clothes and chocolate wrappers as she searched. "You're kind of a special case, Moony," the girl announced, gone nearly up to her hips into the magically expanded depths (giving Sirius a rather nice view of her cute little arse), "Being bitten so young and all. Most research is either done on people who were born werewolves, who almost never give up much information, or people who were bitten when they were older. Either they're already past their teen years or don't even make it that far. So werewolf puberty isn't much studied. AHA!"

She sat up, the thick brown book already open and her murky blue eyes rapidly flicking back and forth as she read. "I thought so," the girl announced smugly, offering the tome to her brother, "It's only a brief mention, but there is a line about hereditary werewolves being somehow affected by lunar eclipses during late adolescence. That certainly could apply to you as well."

Still frowning, Remus spared the text a brief glance (in the way that suggested he already had most of it committed to memory). "This book is from the bloody Dark Ages," he snarled, "It lists one of the causes of lycanthropy as _cannibalism_."

"Just because most of it is shit doesn't mean this one thing isn't true," Mina argued mulishly. "And I don't see you coming up with any theories."

Remus gave a miserable groan. "Perfect," he muttered, "Last month was better than normal, so does that mean this month will be worse?"

Launching herself at the lad for another soothing hug, Mina whispered, "It's possible there's some sort of recoil effect. Sorry, Moony."

Sirius suddenly felt like he was intruding on the twins' private little world.

There was a knock, and Mary poked her head into the room. "Uh," she began warily, fidgeting with a dark pigtail, "The Prewetts are back. They want to talk to Mina."

Remus's sorrow very quickly morphed into the primal rage that had gotten Hamish McDougal turned into a human pretzel. But just as quickly, the young werewolf's eyes rolled back in his head and his body fell limp.

The rest took a stupidly long time to figure out that Mina had stunned her brother (wordlessly, no less). "What?" she defended, carefully tucking her wand in her back pocket and her twin under his covers, "He's already beating himself up about hexing the Head Boy. How do you think he'd feel if I let him go after two aurors we're usually friends with?"

"He growled at you during breakfast just for teasing him a bit," James argued worriedly, "What do you think he's going to do to you for stunning him?"

Mina shot James a glare generally reserved for individuals she was going to disfigure in the most excruciating and hideous manner available. "Remus would _never_-"

"Ahem," Mary interrupted insistently, "Did I mention that Gideon is chatting up Dorcas Meadowes, who I'm fairly sure lied about being of age? Or that Fabian was about to frisk Darwin Durand, who I'm entirely sure has at least three illegal items on him? Can we please do something to save our house-mates from their deserved but avoidable fates?"

With an annoyed grumbled, Mina jumped to her feet and stalked into the common room. The others dashed after her, watching from the bottom of the staircase as she sprinted conspicuously through the portrait hole, prompting the Prewetts to shout and immediately give chase.

Sirius used the Map to follow from a generous distance. Five minutes later, they had both ginger brothers trapped between them in a dim secret passage that linked the fourth and first floors. It was a seldom used spot; one of those out of the way, _no one can hear you scream_ places.

Smirking roguishly, Gideon blinked back and forth between the two groups. "Nice tactic," he complimented.

"What do you want?" Mina snapped, one hand on her hip and the other around her wand. She'd gone from bait to predator in the blink of an eye.

"Well," Fabian began, "We were thinking about apologizing for the whole memory extraction thing-"

"But then we remembered that it was really all your fault," continued Gideon, "Since your little experiment scrambled our poor minds. And we thought maybe you'd like to apologize to us."

Mina snorted. "No one told you idiots to go after our Herbology project," she said, "Frankly, I'm appalled that the Ministry is paying you a salary to harass innocent schoolchildren. Where's an investigative journalist when you need one?"

Their slightly too big ears flushed red. Then Fabian snapped, "We didn't turn you in, in case you were wondering. I'd say that's two you owe us."

"Wasn't aware there was a tally," James laughed, threading his fingers through the perpetual mess on his head, "How many points did we get for saving your lives this summer?"

Sighing heavily, Gideon declared, "I suppose that's fair."

"What do you want?" Mina repeated, growing progressively more irritated

Fabian stuck a hand into his trouser pocket and produced a small glass vial that contained a wispy, brittle-looking silver strand. "We want you to explain this," he said.

Eyes narrowed ferociously, Mina hissed, "I assume that's the memory you ripped out of _my poor mind_. You obviously fucked up the spell, too. I had splitting headaches for three damn days."

"Whatever went wrong was on your end," Gideon declared. He waved at the vial, adding, "I've been in worse states and dragged worse memories out of people less cooperative than you were. I've gotten some weird shit, but I've never had any end up like this."

Scowling at the auror and then at the small glass container, Mina responded, "Fuck you, Prewett. If you don't like what you see, then next time stay the hell out of my brain."

"That's just it," Fabian contributed, "We didn't see anything. It's blank."

James giggled.

Sirius smacked him in the head before the specky git could start making jokes.

"Blank?" Mina drawled. Her eyebrows did that the-fuck-are-you-talking-about-idiot tilt she and her brother had perfected.

With a short-tempered roll of his beefy shoulders, Gideon explained, "Yes, _blank_. As in, _nothing there_. As in, _just a lot of darkness_."

Mina smiled. The tension in her petite frame seemed to ease. "Good," chirped the slender witch, "Although, honestly, I would've preferred to stick you with the vision of your mum shagging a troll."

"You don't know what our mum looked like," argued Fabian.

"And that's not how the spell works," Gideon said, "Even if it wasn't the one I intended to capture, I still should've gotten a real memory out of you. How did you do this?"

Mina shrugged.

"Oh, c'mon," Fabian prodded, "You're not in trouble. We just want to know. Do you have any idea how much information we could protect if we could teach people to black it out when threatened?"

"And I'd be happy to help," answered Mina, smirking, "Not you two specifically. Cuz you're pricks. But wizardkind in general. Except I have no idea why the memory is blank. Are you sure you didn't fuck up the spell? You were both a bit... manic."

Gideon shuffled a bit, seemingly still a little embarrassed by his behavior (even if it had been mostly outside his own control). "Well," he drawled, very slowly resting his palm against the wand sticking out of his pocket, "There's one way to find out-"

Before he could suggest or do the obvious, someone fired a weak warning stunner, just barely grazing the auror's trim hip and making him jump and curse.

Everyone gaped in astonishment when they realized that Mary was responsible.

The statuesque keeper glared back, wand still at the ready. "The only reason I didn't hex you last time," she declared, "Was that I thought you were on official business. Now I realize I don't really care either way."

"Holy shit, Mac," Mina chuckled, absolutely joyful, "I think you just graduated from the Mina Lupin School of Being a Bad-Arse Bitch. This is a proud moment."

With a theatrical eye roll, Mary responded, "Oh, shut up."

"Is that your way of applying to Bad-Arse Bitch University?" Mina teased brightly, "Because I'm sure I could find you a place- OW!" The girl rubbed her thigh, glowering. "_Bitch_!"

xxXxx

Mina was actually quite amazed by how easily _Witch Weekly_ spells could be tweaked for nefarious purposes. Like turning a great depilatory charm into a curse that would make a philanderer's razor attack him nonstop until every single hair had been removed from his body.

Thankfully the sight of Jack Corner arriving at lunch the next day shaved bald was enough to distract the girl from her own whirling thoughts. And the supposedly blank one that was still in Ministry custody...

"That's your idea of a prank?" James taunted, still sweaty and shirtless from his run. "Shaving someone's head is _so_ second year."

"Prongs, I'm hurt," Mina answered, feigning shock, "Take a closer look before you criticize. See how Corner is also missing his eyebrows, eyelashes, and roguish stubble? See how he's got his shirt buttoned to the top? Wormtail and I treated the wayward fellow to an all-over. His _entire_ person is smooth as a baby's arse."

"Hmm," hummed Sirius, "I dunno. I suppose that's mildly traumatic for him, but no one else is going to be able to tell the extent. The whole thing just lacks... flash."

Cackling maliciously, Mina responded, "Funny you should use that particular phrasing." She glanced up and down the table, making sure no one was paying too close attention to them. Then she tapped her wand against a glass of water, disillusioning it slightly and levitating it into the air and across the hall before dumping it on Corner's head.

The seventh-year Ravenclaw was so busy spluttering that he didn't notice his jeans and t-shirt shrinking, morphing into a hot pink G-string and a lacy nursing bra, respectively. Corner stared down at himself in horror, immediately trying to cover his poorly concealed dangly bits and flee in shame. Of course, the entirely hairless young man was so busy being humiliated that he didn't realize his shoelaces had come alive and tied themselves quite firmly to the nearest bench. There was no escape.

The entire school was treated to the sight as Corner flailed and wailed and made even more of an arse of himself. Heckling and catcalls and rather creative mockery flew at the unfortunate lad from every direction.

"Not bad," James commented, stroking his chin and nodding in the manner of an art expert surveying a particularly inspired piece, "How'd you know which clothes he was going to wear today?"

Giggling, Mina replied, "I didn't, of course, so I simply had to apply my just-add-water jinx to every item of clothing he owns. I'll probably get him a few more times before he figures it out. Then hopefully he'll try putting everything in the wash. Dumb sod is going to get back nothing but a pile of bras, knickers, and corsets, in all manner of colors and styles."

"Isn't this all rather... brutal?" Mary ventured. She chewed her thin bottom lip as she watched the scene with sympathetic eyes.

Mina shrugged. "A bit," she said, "I was actually going to go a much tamer route, but while I was doing recon, I heard Corner telling his mates that the girl from the dorm-"

"_Charity_!"

"Whatever," Mina huffed, annoyed at the interruption, "He was telling people that he only dated her because he figured she'd be desperate enough for a shag but she was so shit in bed it wasn't worth it. He's a prick for doing something like that, but then to brag afterward? I was thoroughly convinced Corner deserved the worst I could come up with, which meant dipping into my Snivellus Must Die file."

"Sunny," James scolded, "You have to leave Snape alone."

Scowling angrily, the girl responded, "I know. But that doesn't mean I can't fantasize about doing truly terrible things to him."

A flock of several dozen school owls swooped suddenly into the hall; each bird carried a bright red envelope in its beak and soared straight at the shrieking victim. Within moments, the Hall was filled with explosions and a cacophony of female voices shrieking in tandem:

"_Cheating Jack Corner,_

_He's just a poor cur,_

_A tragic tale of woe._

_He made a mistake_

_And acted so fake_

_And wasn't a very good beau._"

"You wrote him a poem?" Sirius complained, pouting.

Mina rolled her eyes, rather conflicted about how ridiculous yet endearing she found the jealousy. "Not really," she said, "'Little Jack _Horner_' is a muggle nursery rhyme. I just altered it to fit my needs. Honestly, took me longer to find a damn rhyming dictionary than it did to write the blasted thing. And now that I hear it out loud, I'm thinking I should've just announced he had the clap..."

"Where'd you get so many damn Howlers?" growled James. He had his fingers in his ears and was shouting to be heard over the fifth rendition of the stupid rhyme.

Snickering, Mina replied, "Dung's unloading them by the crate for a tenth of the normal cost, so I stocked up."

Peter snorted skeptically and asked, "Dung is still speaking to you after... y'know? The _incident_?"

(Translation: the beatings Dung had received during the summer at the hands of both Mina and her twin.)

"I sent him a big bag of weed," the sandy-haired she-wolf answered, shrugging, "We're square." Dung Fletcher was slime, but he was a useful ally. And because Mina was also a useful ally, Dung wasn't holding a grudge.

Before the Howlers completely died down, Corner freed himself by kicking out of his shoes and streaking out of the Hall.

Mina claimed an enormous chocolate cake to bring to her brother, who had proclaimed himself a menace and refused to leave the dorm.

All in all, an ok Saturday afternoon.

xxXxx

Mina was so pleased with her spectacle that she neglected to think of the two loose ends: Lily Evans and Hamish McDougal. Both of whom were prefects. One of whom was the Head Boy.

"What in the blazes did Corner ever do to you?" said Head Boy demanded gruffly as he slammed himself down on the other side of the table. He kept his newly restored arms stiffly at his sides, and the positioning did not appear coincidental.

(Which wasn't even fair; Mina'd had nothing to do with the whole human-pretzel episode. Though of course she enjoyed it immensely.)

Smirking over the top of a rather interesting volume on cephalopod behavior as it relates to lunar cycles, the witch responded, "Me personally? Not a damn thing."

"And yet you've been torturing him for a day and a half," McDougal grumbled, "Are you telling me you picked him at random?"

"Not at all," said Mina. Yawning, she turned a page. "Let's say he's a bit of an object lesson."

"Well, the lesson is over," McDougal insisted gruffly, "Leave Corner alone, or you and your brother are going to spend the next month scouring cauldrons."

The threat to her brother had Mina instinctively wanting to strangle the Head Boy. But instead she held on tight to her stubborn composure and offered her best mocking smirk. "So now you've resorted to blackmail?" the girl drawled, "Whatever happened to _mediating a bit of a misunderstanding_?"

Handsome face twisting angrily, McDougal replied, "Mediation is only appropriate _before _I end up drinking an entire bottle of Skele-Gro and finding Jack cowering naked under my bed."

Mina shrugged, stating simply, "Hand out as many detentions as you like, but I'm not laying off Corner until he publicly apologizes to that girl."

"What girl?" asked McDougal.

And once again, Mina completely blanked on the name. "Shit..." she muttered, "Knew I should've written it down..."

McDougal stared at her in puzzled awe. "You're doing all this for a girl whose name you can't even remember?"

"She's the girl from my dorm," Mina explained, gesturing to compensate for her lack of concrete facts, "The ugly one."

Still, McDougal didn't seem to understand in the least. But he nonetheless declared, "I'll get Jack to apologize to whoever you think deserves it, alright? Just stop the harassment. I've had quite enough of looking at his pasty arse."

"Sounds fair," yawned Mina.

"And don't set your brother after me again," the brawny Ravenclaw added.

Since she hadn't actually done any such thing, Mina was happy to gift the meaningless concession with a bored murmur of, "I will leash my vicious twin."

"And I have a favor to ask," the Head Boy continued.

Mina laughed loudly and earned a fierce _SHHHH_ from the librarian. "Blackmail and threats typically don't segue well into favors," she pointed out.

Ignoring the criticism, McDougal straightened his tie and his tidy dark hair and stated, "Professor Lazarov convinced the Headmaster to throw a masquerade ball for Halloween. The Head Girl and I are in charge of the planning committee, and I was hoping you'd help us with the entertainment."

"I'm touched," Mina replied, smirking impishly, "But my stand-up routine is a bit too edgy for this crowd. Though I did think of a new joke today. What's the fastest way to castrate a Slytherin?"

McDougal's dark eyes bugged out of his skull.

"Kick his cousin in the jaw!" cackled Mina. She tilted her chair back and shook with giggles that again had the librarian hissing in displeasure.

"Sunny," James scolded as he returned from the stacks, his gaze almost entirely obscured by the mountainous pile of books he carried, "If you keep it up, Madame Pince is going to close early just to spite you." He slammed his burden down and wiped his brow, finally getting around to noticing that the Head Boy had invaded his seat.

Because she loved her friend and didn't want his stupid soppy heart shattered, Mina hadn't said a word to James about what she saw or heard in the seventh-year Ravenclaw dorm. But, judging by the murderous expression he wore, the infectious gossip of Hogwarts seemed to have reached him nonetheless.

He narrowed his bright hazel eyes. "McDougal," James growled, "To what do we owe the visit?"

"Just discussing a few things with Lupin," the young Scot replied, probably unaware of just how much James wanted to set his handsome face on fire.

"Splendid," James stated curtly, nearly vibrating with anger and jealousy. "What sort of things?"

"Hamish wants me to tell jokes at some Halloween ball," Mina explained.

Sighing, pinching the bridge of his straight nose, McDougal responded, "I don't want you telling jokes _ever_. I was going to ask for help arranging a band. The Head Girl is pushing for a string quartet, but I remembered you got the Weird Sisters for Ed Bones last year-"

"Actually," Mina interrupted, "That was Jamie. Kirley Duke owed him a favor."

"And now we're square," James contributed, only slightly snottier than normal, "So I don't think it's going to happen again."

Seemingly confused by the downright icy response, McDougal ventured, "But you know him. You could ask..."

Before James could refuse out of spite (as Mina suspected he was about to do), Zane Creevy came crashing around the corner. He was breathing hard, but (thanks to their quidditch captain's obsessive training regimen) that detail revealed nothing about how far the lanky blonde chaser had run. "Hamish," he panted, "There's a problem in Gryffindor Tower, and we can't find McGonagall."

McDougal was already on his feet, already following Creevy back to the source of the disturbance. After only a brief moment to gather their belongings, Mina and James jogged in the same direction. Thinking the worst because that was where they left Remus...

They had barely stepped through the portrait hole when they heard the first of the screams. Mina shoved few gawkers out of the way before she got a glimpse at the people causing them.

The seventh-year prefect, Sophronia Sloan, was writhing on the ground, frantically battling a large snake... actually, a second glance revealed the serpent to be the girl's own long braid, which had transformed into a snapping viper. Bloody puncture wounds decorated Sloan's arms, showing all the spots where the snake had been able to sink in its abnormally long fangs.

There were two more hysterical girls, both also seventh-years, both on the ceiling. Imelda Jennings had swollen up like a giant balloon, her bloated body bobbing idly at the mercy of the air currents and her comparatively tiny limbs wriggling in useless ire. Cecily Merrigan (Mina was pretty sure it was her) appeared to have morphed into a semi-sentient blob of lemon custard that oozed along like a slug and shrieked like a gurgling hog.

More frantic shouts could be heard coming from somewhere up the girls' staircase.

"Interesting," Mina drawled, smirking maliciously, "Seems like someone's been in my trunk..."

xxXxx

After the third or fourth time Sirius glanced over at her, chuckled, shook his head, and went back to reading, Mina's exasperation hit its peak. "_What_?" the girl growled.

"Nothing, love," Sirius replied. He really did his best not to seem so amused. "Nothing. I swear... just... well..."

"Out with it," she demanded, probably completely unaware of how utterly, irresistibly sexy her fierce expression was to her adoring boyfriend.

Sirius smiled and leaned sideways to nuzzle Mina's slender neck (right below her ear, the spot that never failed to make her shudder). "You hexed, jinxed, cursed, and flat-out _maimed_ the entire class of seventh-year Gryffindor girls," he murmured seductively, "And somehow _they_ ended up in trouble while you got away clean."

With a disgusted snort and a delighted shiver, Mina replied, "Hardly _clean_."

"Oh, boo hoo," teased Sirius, already flying high on the addictive taste of her skin, "You have to be on the _planning committee_. McDougal was already begging for your help, and it certainly beats detention."

Mina pouted. "Debatable."

Chuckling, Sirius tossed whatever book he was supposed to be reading over the back of the couch in the Most Awesome Room Ever (which had yet again become a very close replica of the common room, this time slightly smaller and more intimate, with sensual lighting that Mina had complained was bad for reading but hadn't bothered to change). "Think of the possibilities," he murmured, arm wrapping around his girl's shoulders, "Sunshine, you're our inside man."

Her eyes flashed dangerously. And, before he could blink, Sirius found himself flat on his back.

"Inside _man_?" Mina drawled, her voice low and menacing, but she was obviously fighting a smile as her clever fingers slowly picked open the buttons of Sirius's shirt. "I'll show you an inside man..."

"Yes, please," Sirius said, grinning up at the beauty straddling his hips. He caressed her thighs and would've complained about the shapeless trousers keeping her perfect skin from his touch, but he'd learned his lesson quite thoroughly on that subject. Instead, the black-haired teen enjoyed the feel of small hands gliding over his chest and a plump mouth delivering maddening licks and nips to his throat, slowly closing in on his lips...

And then because it was the worst possible time for him to do so, James bloody fuckface Potter burst into the room.

All three teens froze, annoyed and mortified in varying degrees. "Just so you're aware," James finally announced, coughing uncomfortably, "Every time you snog, Merlin beats a puppy."

Huffing, rolling her eyes, Mina responded, "If by some chance Merlin were spying on Sirius and me from the afterlife, I think he'd have his hands full with _other things_." She smirked and made an accompanying rude gesture, adding, "Know what I mean, Jimbo?"

"I really wish I didn't," the specky git groaned.

"What do you want, Prongs?" Sirius demanded. He was hoping to get rid of his best mate as quickly as possible and return to far more pleasurable activities. Preferably the one Mina had mimed. Once he got the image of Merlin watching and wanking over them out of his head...

(Only Mina could have Sirius wedged uncomfortably between the need for her fabulous body and the need for extensive therapy...)

Unfortunately, in addition to having absolutely atrocious timing, James didn't know how to take a damn hint. He walked farther into the room and flopped his lanky body into the nearest fluffy red armchair. "What's the damage?" he asked, "Better not be more than a week of detention. Walker is going to be useless if we have to permanently switch to morning practices again."

Sirius pouted as Mina climbed off him and sat cross-legged back in her previous spot.

"No detention for me," the girl replied, "Although placing security curses on one's own possessions is frowned upon, it's not technically against any rules. Especially when it proves necessary to protect one's safety and privacy."

Grinning inanely, James replied, "For now. What's the bet on _Lupin's Law_ showing up soon in the school charter next year?"

"Tell him the other part," Sirius teased. He arranged himself into a more respectable upright position (but didn't bother buttoning his shirt, so the effect was probably somewhat diminished).

"Merrigan and Sloan and their band of brainless twats got two weeks," she said with a self-satisfied smirk, "Apparently Merrigan has been mooing for my blood since the Rudiger near-drowning thing, and Sloan is wet for Jack Corner, so those two convinced the other seventh-years that I needed to be taught a lesson. They were going to cover my clothes with bulbadox powder and replace my soap with bubotuber pus."

"Neither of which you would've fallen for," James said, shaking his head in vicarious shame, "Amateurs."

Chuckling proudly, nearly bouncing with excitement, Sirius nudged his girl in the ribs and ordered, "The _other_ other part, Sunshine."

Mina gave a strangled growl of frustration and anger. "I never expected anyone to actually trigger the security charms," she explained, "Aside from maybe you idiots, if you were feeling especially dense. It was just something to play around with when I was bored and couldn't sleep. I got a few out of a book I stole from the Restricted Section, and Flitwick recognized them while he was doing the reversals. He demanded the book back but said he was impressed. He pulled McGonagall off to the side, and before I knew it, she was sentencing me to help plan the bloody Halloween Ball. I guess it's one of those _creative punishments_ she's been threatening."

James found this just as hilarious and promising as Sirius had. "Havoc is on the menu," the messy-haired boy laughed maniacally. He stopped after only a moment though, wondering, "How did Sloan know you were responsible for Corner?"

"I figure that ginger bitch ran her mouth," said Mina, shrugging, "She and McDougal knew I'd been in the Ravenclaw dorm, which isn't exactly a smoking wand, but anyone with half a brain could put the pieces together. Thankfully, no one seems to have tattled to the professors, and there's no real evidence on me or else we probably _would _be having morning practices until Christmas."

"Lucky," James answered. He didn't seem pleased with his dream girl being referred to as _that ginger bitch_, but he let the unfavorable diction go without comment. "So does that mean you want me to owl Kirley Duke?" he asked instead, "McDougal can jump up his own arse, but I'll do it for you."

Smiling sweetly at their friend, Mina replied, "Thanks, Prongsie. 'Preciate it. I can't very well have my name attached to an event that doesn't turn out completely epic." Then she frowned, brow furrowing adorably. "Who's watching Moony?"

"Mary and Wormtail," James yawned, "I think Mary's enjoying the fact that Remus can't stop undressing her with his eyes. And he's fine. Doing a bit better, actually. They were playing chess when I left. With hardly any shouting. I don't know how you expect to keep him quarantined once classes start back up tomorrow."

Sirius mentally sighed: if Mina began fretting about her brother, then there was no way she was going to be in the mood for any of the very fun things her boyfriend desperately wanted to do to her. "He'll be alright," the young man proclaimed, "We'll just have to stick close."

With a look of skepticism, Mina demanded, "And how do you propose we do that when the brainy sod is off in History and Defense by himself?"

It was a valid concern, but it came with a valid solution. Mina, however, was not going to be happy. "He'll have Evans with him," Sirius said, "We'll fill her in, and I'm sure she'll be glad to help."

Mina groaned.

She probably meant to convey annoyance, but Sirius found the noise quite alluring; he wanted nothing more than to see what other delicious noises he could coax from his girl...

"I'll talk to Lily," said James. He smiled the stupid, soppy smile specifically reserved for thoughts and discussions involving his crush. "Y'know," the black-haired lad continued, voice a bit dreamy, "I think she's starting to like me. For real this time."

Sirius snorted. "Sure, mate," he taunted, too distracted by ogling Mina to keep his mouth shut, "That's why she's going to Hogsmeade with another bloke."

James scowled and climbed to his feet. Before stomping out of the room, he snarled, "Arsehole."

There was a sharp pain in Sirius's arm as Mina pinched him.

"That ginger bitch is crushing his heart just fine on her own," the sandy-haired she-wolf scolded, her glare downright menacing, "You don't need to pile on." With a flick of her wand, she gathered their books (titles like _Umbra: a Complete Guide to Lunar Magic_, _Eclipse Enchantments_, and _Syzygy_) and followed their friend out of the room.

Sirius swore loudly in the quiet left behind and felt entirely justified blaming James for the deepening blue of his balls.

xxXxx

When she met up with the Marauders after lunch on Monday, Lily expected Remus to be as surly and snappish as he'd been for the past few days, as he'd been just that morning during Potions (he'd broken at least ten quills and nearly snarled at Slughorn). What she found, however, was a sandy-haired werewolf who was docile bordering on dopey.

"Is he _stoned_?" the girl whispered, outraged that Remus's so-called friends had obviously drugged him.

"Ya... about that..." James drawled, nervously worsening the mess of irregular black locks atop his head, "He seems to have chugged quite a few Calming Draughts and we think maybe a Draught of Peace... or several. Kind of overdid it, but he was convinced you wouldn't be safe alone with him otherwise."

"I am..." Remus began, loosing focus for a few moments, "Dangerful."

His sister snickered, but the sound was somewhat insincere. "Yes, Moony," she granted mildly, "You're the most dangerful Lupin in all the land." She gave his arm a fond but patronizing pat and then untangled it from her own. "Be a good boy for Evans," Mina commanded, "Remember to stay with her. And no raising your hand today, ok?"

With possibly the saddest, most heartbroken pout Lily had ever seen, Remus gazed mournfully at his twin. "You're leaving me?" he whimpered, latching right back onto the girl, "You can't... _Promised_."

"Of course I'm not leaving you," Mina answered. She hugged Remus almost viciously, adding, "We're just going to class for a few hours, remember? You have Defense and then History. I have Muggle Studies and then Defense. I'll see you in between and come find you after, and then we can go back to the dorm and have all the chocolate you want."

He grinned tentatively, looking far younger than his sixteen years. "All I want?" asked the boy.

Mina returned an affectionate smile, soothing, "Yes, Moony. In fact, Prongs talked to the house-elves this morning and got them to agree to bring us chocolate soufflés tonight. Doesn't that sound nice?"

Amber eyes shining with happiness, Remus nodded. He allowed himself to be passed from Mina to Lily and grabbed onto the redhead with a bright, almost surprised greeting of, "Hello."

"Hello, Remus," Lily replied. Though she was worried about her friend, the girl couldn't help finding his state a bit cute... ok, extremely cute verging on downright precious. "Are you ready to go to class now?"

But she'd already lost his attention to an apparently mesmerizing crack in the wall.

"He'll be ok," Mina explained, not even the slightest bit rude, clearly apprehensive at the thought of abandoning her brother in his current condition, "The professors won't bother him, so just make sure he stays relaxed, agree with him as much as possible, and if he starts to get upset, promise unlimited chocolate."

"And I wouldn't bring him anywhere near McDougal," James added, barely even trying to hide how pleased he was by that particular item in the _Care and Keeping of Remus Lupin_ guide.

Rolling her eyes, Lily announced, "I'm sure we'll be fine. See you lot after class." And before the twins could indulge in any further separation anxiety, before the rest of the Miscreants could say or do anything inappropriate and/or hideously mortifying, Lily steered herself and her stoned werewolf companion in the direction of the Defense room.

"Where's Mina?" Remus asked almost as soon as his sister was out of sight. He stopped in the middle of the crowded hallway, the look on his scarred face nothing short of devastated as he spun in place and whined, "_Mina_!"

It took just about every ounce of self-control Lily had not to _awwwwww_ aloud at the lad, bless his little lycan heart. "Mina will be back soon," the redhead soothed, dragging Remus along, "I think she's even going to bring you some chocolate."

Remus _beamed_. And then he flung his surprisingly strong arms around Lily and hugged her with such enthusiasm that she ended up airborne.

(Good Godric, when had the lad gotten so bloody _tall_?)

"Remus!" she squawked, limbs flailing with indignant embarrassment, face flushing uncontrollably when she realized how many people were watching the curious scene, "Put me down right this instant!"

"You found my Mina," the overly affectionate werewolf muttered, still crushing Lily against his rather muscular chest, "You brought her back. _Thank you_."

Tears pricking her eyes, Lily wished she had a sibling who loved her even half as deeply and ferociously as Remus loved his Mina. Half as madly and shamelessly as Mina loved him back. "You're welcome," was all Lily could manage in response. Though she didn't think she really deserved such heartfelt thanks; after all, it had been nothing but dumb luck that led to the two girls crossing paths during what had become known as _the Jamaica Incident_.

"Sorry I hexed your boyfriend," was the sandy-haired teen's next languid remark. It was delivered rather wetly into her own crimson locks.

Reminding herself that Remus was in an altered state, Lily fought the worsening blush and patiently corrected, "Hamish is not my boyfriend."

Remus continued carrying her like a favorite doll and didn't even seem to care that every person they passed stared at them like they were both complete nutters. The other Miscreants might've been fond of that sort of attention, but Remus was usually more sensible; Lily was _always_ more sensible.

"Oh," the werewolf mumbled. There was a long pause as he searched his hazy mental lexicon. "Your... concubine?"

Ok, so Lily was _almost always_ more sensible. But, to be fair, who wouldn't laugh herself breathless any time the word _concubine_ came out of Remus Lupin's mouth? "You can't manage _dangerous_," the girl giggled, probably looking like an absolute lunatic, "But _concubine_, that's no problem? Remus, love, you are too much."

He grinned magnificently, not really getting the joke but glad to have made his friend smile.

xxXxx

What was it about crying girls, James wondered, that turned even the hardest hearts to helpless mush?

"Oi, Tia," he called, catching the raven-haired sprite as she fled the Great Hall in tears, "What's wrong, love?" Hopefully it was just another meltdown about homework. Those were easy enough to solve, and then James and his companions could actually grab some food before dinner ended.

(Remus had required three soufflés, several classic muggle bedtime stories, and a lengthy cuddle from his sister to wrangle into bed, all of which took a lot longer than estimated.)

Sniffling against James's stomach, Tia miserably replied, "It's not fair! I wanted to go to the ball!"

James felt justified blaming hunger for his oh-so intelligent reply of, "Huh?"

"There's a Halloween Ball!" Tia blubbered, "Bumbledore just told us! But he said you had to be at least a fourth-year to go! It's not fair!"

Nodding in solemn agreement, Mina declared, "I know what you mean, tiny. They won't let me tell jokes, either. The injustice."

Mary elbowed the girl lightly, rolling her eyes.

"Don't fret, Tia," James soothed, "We have lots of parties in Gryffindor. You're always going to be welcome for those."

Bottom lip quivering and wide blue eyes glistening, the little orphan hiccupped, "But this is a _ball_! Like from the fairy tales! I didn't even think they were really real, and now I know they are, but I'm not allowed to go!"

"Sweetheart," said Lily, kind but curt, "You'll just have to wait until you're older. I'm sure there'll be another ball."

Tia adamantly shook her head, holding on tighter to James's midsection. "Bumbledore told us this is the first one in _forever_!" she claimed, "It's just because Professor Lazarov wanted it! She'll probably be gone next year, and then we won't have one again!"

"Oh." James couldn't find fault with the child's reasoning. This might very well be the last official ball Hogwarts saw for quite some time... "Well..." His own brain ticked away, trying to solve the problem, trying to put the smile back on Tia's face. "Um..."

The next person to exit the Hall was Alcina Zuniga, the psycho Ravenclaw prefect who was apparently obsessed with and had plotted to drug James. Her dark eyes lit up at the sight of him, and her long strides brought her hungrily closer.

In a fit of panic, James declared, "Maybe I can take you."

Tia gazed up at him like he'd just told her the castle was made of candy. "_Really_?" she breathed in awe.

_Sure, why not?_ the young man thought to himself, _Not like the only other girl I'd ask would actually agree_.

"Of course," he replied, just thankful his stroke of genius seemed to have waylaid Zuniga's. Smiling, James detached Tia, bowed gallantly, and asked, "Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the ball, Miss Jones?"

After squealing something in the affirmative, Tia hugged James once more and then skipped away happily, her plump cheeks flushed.

Zuniga (praise Merlin) huffed dejectedly and slunk off into the shadows.

"Wow, Prongs," Sirius said, giving him a weird look, "Didn't know you liked 'em so young."

His face grew hot. "Shut up, Pads," the teen replied. He was never going to hear the end of this, but it would be worth it to see Tia so excited. To keep Zuniga off his back.

"I think it's sweet," Mary announced. (The comment actually sounded weird absent any sarcasm.)

Someone had silenced Mina, who was doubled over laughing hysterically.

Lily's reaction was the only real surprise: the redhead stared at him, brow furrowed in an almost frown. "You shouldn't have done that," she scolded, "McGonagall still might not let you take her."

"Aw, Minerva wouldn't be cruel enough to deny a fellow his chosen date," Sirius declared, "True love can't be tamed by silly things like age restrictions."

Blazing eyes narrowed, Lily argued, "It's unfair to the other students. The rules should apply equally to everyone."

"Easy for you to say," James quipped. He couldn't keep the harshness out of his voice for some reason. For some reason, he was angry with Lily Evans. "How could a rule that only affects years one through three possibly apply equally to everyone?" the young man declared, "It's completely arbitrary, and it's punishing them for something they have no control over! Might as well be legislation against muggle-borns riding the Knight Bus on Tuesdays!"

Whether she was unused to James disagreeing with her so vehemently or she was shocked at how thoroughly he'd trounced her argument, Lily gaped at him.

"Just because something is a rule doesn't mean it actually should be!" James continued, seemingly unable to stop himself, "And just because something goes against a rule doesn't mean it's wrong! We all have a _duty _to question rules! Sticking blindly to them is lazy! And dangerous! And _cowardly_-"

And Lily slapped him. And burst into tears. And _ran away_.

And James was left absolutely stunned, his insides feeling like quivering liquid despair.

Still silenced, Mina lifted a speculative eyebrow and mouthed something that looked an awful lot like _What the fuck?_

xxxxxxxxxx

I think I'm in love with stoned Remus. There. I said it.

Anyways, hopefully nobody is too disappointed about the "blank" memory. It'll come back into play very soon. Something to look forward to, mwahaha.

Yes, syzygy is a real word. No, that doesn't make me any less pissed off when someone plays it against me during Scrabble.

Reviews will be petted and snuggled and reread obsessively :)


	32. Two Rocks and a Hammer

Part 32 – Two Rocks and a Hammer

"The Weird Sisters are touring in South America," Mina sighed, lying sprawled on the floor of the Head Boy and Girl's office because the position matched her mood, "So they're unavailable. But I can get the Hobgoblins."

The other members of the stupid bloody _planning committee_ stared at her in awe. "Really?" asked Hamish McDougal. He grinned tentatively and made a note in the obsessive minutes he kept. "Excellent! They've got that new song out! What's it called? _Five Kings_?-" He cut himself off, blushing when he realized just how inappropriate the lyrics were.

"_There are five immortal kings_," Mina recited, unconcerned with her inability to carry a tune, "_Who bring happiness to all. Wan-King's good when you're all alone_. _Drin-King's good with friends. The other three, the trinity, I highly recommend_-"

"Oh, stop it," the Head Girl interrupted. Dorothea Zabat huffed and flipped her long brassy blonde hair off her slender shoulders.

Giggling, enjoying herself for the first time in the last interminable half hour, Mina continued, "_Lic-King starts the party. Suc-King sets the mood. Fuc-King is the best, of course. Now everyone get nude_-"

Zabat gave a half-strangled scream, her pinched face still set in its perpetual scowl. "There is absolutely no way the professors will allow the Hobgoblins to perform here!" the Slytherin complained, "They sing nothing but utter filth!"

Mina yawned, shrugged. "I can get them," she repeated, "But I don't give a shit either way. Just let me know soon."

Once against proving himself slightly more useful than disgusting, Dung had made acquaintances with the lead singer, Stubby Boardman, who was very fond of the Lupin-Black weed and was eager to do them all the favors they wished in exchange for more.

Mina hoped being the one to arrange the musical entertainment would excuse her from the rest of the painfully tedious meetings concerning the Halloween Ball. One was certainly punishment enough.

The Head Boy and Girl were just so _dull_. Ravenclaws were supposed to be witty, and Slytherins were supposed to be evil (or cunning, or whatever), but McDougal and Zabat... Mr. Ordinary and Miss Future-Trophy-Wife... Merlin, Mina would've preferred the stereotypes.

Most of the other seventh-year prefects weren't any better. The representatives from Hufflepuff, Samuel Abbott and Janet North, didn't talk much; when they did offer suggestions or opinions, they did so meekly and allowed themselves to be easily overruled. Mina was impossibly annoyed by such submissiveness.

Robert Little seemed alright; the dark-skinned Gryffindor at least had a sense of humor, and Mina admired his puffy 'fro, as well as the interesting Latin phrases he kept assigning as passwords to the Tower. The other prefect from their House, however, happened to be Sophronia Sloan, who was still in quite a lot of trouble for her failed attempt at pranking Mina. And while Mina found that _hilarious_, Sloan had spent every moment of the meeting glaring contemptuously and trying to provoke the sandy-haired sixth-year into throwing the first hex.

Nereus Flint from Slytherin and Diana Winship from Ravenclaw rounded out the group. While Flint fit the classical example of his House (arrogant and cold, a master manipulator), he was difficult to take seriously: poor bastard still looked like a twelve-year-old, scrawny and heads shorter than every other boy in his year. And those teeth. Yuck. Winship seemed nice enough, but she was off in her own world half the time; the dreamy-eyed blonde spent the other half nearly blowing herself up with experimental spells.

"I don't know why we're still discussing the music," Zabat whined, "A string quartet would be much more fitting-"

"C'mon, Dorothea," McDougal interrupted courteously, "We voted for something contemporary." Ignoring the girl's huff, he paused thoughtfully and suggested, "The Hobgoblins have others songs. Maybe if we come up with a list of the less... colorful ones-"

"Ya, sure," Mina cut him off, impatient for the boredom to end, "Write your list. I'll pass it along and see if they'll agree to stick to it. Can I _go_?"

With a noise of disgust, Sloan snarled, "You can go when you're dismissed, Lupin! And until then, keep your bloody mouth shut!"

Mina nearly laughed. Instead, she smirked up at the brown-haired prefect and answered, "Make me, slag."

Pale face turning scarlet and soft features twisting in rage, Sloan hissed, "Don't think I won't, you horrid menace!"

"I'm waiting," taunted Mina.

"_Enough_," McDougal shouted. He sighed heavily, commanding, "Keep it civil, ladies. Please. We're almost through."

Chuckling, Flint lazed in his seat and declared, "I'm willing to delay my dinner a bit longer for another Gryffindor grudge match. Few things are as amusing as watching the lions turn on each other."

"Hey, Flint," Mina replied, grinning wickedly, "I've got a joke for you. What's the fastest way to castrate a Slytherin?"

"NO!" McDougal shouted, desperate to cut her off before the punch line. He groaned in frustration and tugged at his usually tidy hair. After grunting something that sounded like _Merlin, give me strength_, the young man dug into his bag and passed out an armful of scrolls. "These are the various Charms and Transfiguration spells the professors have recommended for decorating," he explained, "Mark the ones you're able to do so we can come up with a realistic sketch and start assigning tasks."

Mina wordlessly summoned her scroll and hurriedly read through it, checking off the vast majority of items, scribbling better alternatives for a few, adding several outlandish suggestions at the bottom. By the time she looked up again, everyone was finished with their own lists and staring at her. She floated her page back to McDougal, demanding, "_Now_ can I go?"

Apparently curious, Zabat and Little leaned in on either side of the Head Boy to get a glimpse at Mina's scroll. "Can you really cast _Piertotum Locomotor_?" asked Little, sounding rather impressed.

"Can you not?" Mina teased. But, since it was Little and he was generally an alright bloke, she shrugged and declared, "The lads and I wanted to see the suits of armor battle each other."

"That was _you_?!" Sloan shrieked. Calypso's warty tits, the girl was shrill. "Two years ago, outside the gallery! I was nearly _decapitated_!"

Laughing loudly, arching her back against the worn rug and stretching her arms overhead, Mina replied, "Ah, yes. One of my _fondest_ memories of the day."

Perhaps sensing an impending massacre, McDougal declared an immediate end to the meeting.

Mina didn't need to be told twice and dashed the hell out of there. Although planning a ball was substantially less time-consuming than her normal detention sentences, the girl would've vastly preferred hours of shoveling compost for Hagrid to even a short span surrounded by the boring-as-fuck, up-their-own-arses seventh-year prefects.

"Oi! Lupin! Wait!"

Not to mention the Head Boy. Polite and Personable. Bland as a boiled potatoes. He wasn't even interesting enough to dislike. Though that didn't stopping Mina from trying, especially when he sauntered up beside her with easy grace. "Where's your brother been?" the dark-haired Scot demanded, "He missed his rounds yesterday."

"He's sick," answered Mina, supplying the lie without guilt but with plenty of worry.

As the full moon drew closer, Remus had turned into a ball of fiery rage. And other animal urges. Red-faced and humiliated, continually adjusting his trousers, he'd made Mina promise not to let Mary near him anymore because he didn't think he could control himself around the girl he fancied. He broke a desk in half just by writing too hard on it. He went into the Hospital Wing a day early because the aches and cramps that always preceded his transformation had him in unprecedented agony.

There was no telling what the wolf would do that night

"Evans is covering his shifts," Mina spat, irritated with the Head Boy for hounding her about something so stupid while her brother was in pain, "So unless you're going to tell me what you really want, go away. I've got places to be."

McDougal sighed heavily, clearly working up the courage to voice his real purpose. "I received a letter this morning," he began, "From David Bell-"

Before she could process the remark, Mina was startled by Sirius leaping out from behind a tapestry, tossing her roughly over his shoulder, and sprinting down the cold stone corridor.

"Padfoot!" the girl wailed. As usual, she couldn't decide between laughing at her boyfriend and hexing him into oblivion, but either choice would probably have to wait until there wasn't quite so much blood rushing to her upended brain. "Put me down, you flea-bitten mongrel!"

She felt his head shake, his thick arm tightening around the backs of her thrashing thighs. "Not a chance, my love," he responded, "We've got a big night ahead of us, and I aim to see you fed properly before it begins." He gave her arse a playful smack.

She smacked his in return, trying to find a steady portion of muscular back to sink her teeth into. But the obnoxious bastard had too much bounce in his step, and Mina couldn't latch on. "_You_," she threatened breathlessly, "Are going to spend the rest of your _miserable _life as a _tapeworm_ if I'm not on my own feet in the next _second_!"

Sirius laughed and continued on like the girl hadn't even spoken.

xxXxx

"Have you seen Mina Lupin?" Hamish asked. He sat at the Gryffindor table like he belonged there.

Trying not to blush into her dinner, Lily replied, "No. Not since class... wasn't she at your meeting?"

The Ravenclaw frowned. And sighed. And he didn't seem to notice, remember, or care that Lily _clearly_ despised Lupin with every fiber of her being. "Yes," said the Head Boy, "Nearly turned into a riot, so I ended it early. I had something else I was trying to talk to her about privately afterwards, but Black kind of... carried her away."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Ya," she muttered, "He does that sometimes. What'd she threaten to turn him into?"

Chuckling, Hamish answered, "A tapeworm."

"Hmm," yawned Lily, "I'll have to mark the square on my Bingo card."

Hamish didn't seem to get the joke, which was forgotten just a moment later when Jack Corner (still bald but thankfully fully clothed) approached Charity Burbage. "Finally," the Head Boy grumbled, "Stubborn bastard. I told him days ago what he had to do."

"What do you mean?" Lily asked as she watched the odd scene taking place just a few spaces away:

Corner loudly and with only slightly forced sincerity delivering a rather formal apology to Charity for how he treated her.

Hamish quietly explained, "Well, it's no secret Lupin is behind what's been happening to Jack. I called her on it earlier in the week, and she said she'd only stop when Jack apologized to the girl. Since Jack _was_ being a jerk, I didn't see the harm. Of course, I didn't think that he would wait so long. Just gave Lupin more opportunity to think of terrible things to do to him, really. I don't know how she pulled it off, but last night Jack was absolutely convinced that his... er... genitals had vanished. He spent nearly the entire evening hysterically flashing everyone in our dorm and wouldn't believe us when we said we could see his parts _just fine_."

Lily hid her burning face in her hands. _Heaven's sake_, she mentally groaned, _What kind of demented psychopath even comes up with something like that?_ "Sounds... traumatic," the girl murmured, "For everyone."

With a laugh and a shrug, Hamish replied, "Certainly an experience I'd rather _Obliviate_, but at least it finally wore Jack down... well, anyways, I really do need to talk to Lupin, so I should get back to searching. If you see her, let her know I'm looking for her, ok?"

He was gone a moment later, leaving Lily to continue observing Corner's desperate groveling.

xxXxx

The crazy thing about moonlight is that it's almost entirely just sunlight reflecting off the lunar surface. Mina often wondered what kind of fundamental changes the energy must go through in order to produce such drastically different effects than its original form. Was there some sort of mineral or metal on the moon that caused solar rays to mutate as they bounced? Was it simply the act of being forced to alter course that made warm, radiant sunshine into the unforgiving nocturnal glow?

Because the fact that only moonlight, only as much as came to earth on the full moon, only when the sun didn't shine at the same time could cause a werewolf transformation had to mean that there was something different about the _light_. The recent eclipse gave more evidence to support the conclusion: being in the earth's shadow had, for a time, blocked the moon from direct sun and therefore lessened the severity of the previous month's full.

But Mina supposed that it didn't really matter how the change came about: barring an apocalyptic catastrophe, the moon would keep revolving the earth, and every thirty-or-so days, the satellite would move into opposition with the sun; the yellow dwarf star would entirely illuminate the near side, and Remus's body would break apart.

It was a depressing thought on which to ruminate, but the Marauders' traditional clandestine trek to the Shrieking Shack warranted only the bleakest variety of contemplation.

"We can try to knock him out if he starts hurting himself too badly," Sirius suggested, appropriately grim, "But that'll mean one of has to go back to being human long enough to do it."

Mina nodded and agreed, "I will. You and Prongs are bigger so you can do a better job keeping him away from me."

Sirius grimaced. "If it needs to happen," he said, "You should get back in the tunnel and aim from there. You'll have better cover."

"Good idea," said Mina.

They were silent for most of the walk, huddled close beneath an invisibility cloak that really didn't fit all three of them any longer.

As they were approaching the Willow, James abruptly announced, "Firenze's mother is going to teach Divination. At least until Dumbledore finds another professor."

Frowning, Sirius inquired, "Where'd you hear that?"

James gave a miserable huff and explained, "I was trying to apologize to Evans again-"

"You shouldn't apologize to her at all," Mina insisted, not for the first time, "It's hardly your fault that Ginger would rather weep and hit people who disagree with her than take part in spirited intellectual debate."

"I hung back while she was talking to Flitwick after Charms this morning," the bespectacled lad continued, ignoring the interruption with practiced ease, "He was telling her about it. Elda is going to arrive next weekend."

With a hopeful smile, Mina asked, "Is Firenze coming with her?"

James shrugged. "I have no idea. Evans noticed me listening and stormed off."

"And she calls us childish," chuckled Sirius.

Wormtail froze the branches of the Willow, and the foursome descended into the tunnel. They enjoyed finally being able to emerge from beneath the stifling cloak, stretching and then continuing onward, waiting to transform. About halfway through the familiar journey, Mina walked face-first into an invisible barrier.

"OW! FUCK!" the girl swore, hands immediately coming up to cradle her bruised nose, "WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT?!"

"Lemme see, Sunshine," Sirius ordered. He had to gently restrain his beloved, had to get her to stop lashing out at the obstacle.

Her eyes were watering, but there was no blood. The injury was more startling than painful.

James, who pushed his way to the front and examined the transparent blockage, declared, "I think Moony warded us out."

"Why would he-" Mina growled, breathing hard, nearly incoherent with rage, "That little- if he thinks for one bloody second- I am going to _beat him_! In the _face_! With a _rock_! Two rocks and a _hammer_!"

"Well, you'll probably have to wait until tomorrow," James sighed, "Knowing Remus, whatever he's used will take all night to counter."

Shrieking, Mina threw a fist at the barrier. Then brought out her wand and began casting wildly.

Sirius, James, and Peter suddenly found themselves dodging curses that ricocheted back into the tunnel.

"MOONY!" Mina hollered, like her brother could actually hear, "YOU _ARSE_!"

A howl of animal fury echoed toward them in reply.

xxXxx

"_Really_?" Charity asked, for the third time.

"Yes," sighed Mary. She continued to flip through her magazine but didn't seem to actually be reading it. Instead, the girl's attention was on the window, on the ominous moon.

Lily knew Mary's thoughts were probably with the Marauders: the dark-haired keeper worried about them when they were on their monthly excursions. It was sweet, but those depraved thugs hardly deserved a friend like Mary.

Potter especially. He was the worst of them. Usually, Lily assigned Lupin that particular dishonor, but now the redhead knew for certain that Potter topped the list. No bloody contest. The arrogant twit. Who did he think he was to call Lily a coward?

And she didn't cry because she cared what he thought. She was just... shocked. Disappointed.

Being called names by someone she sort of considered a friend... well, the encounter felt entirely too similar to her falling out with Sever-... with Snape.

"But..." Charity continued, trying (like the rest of them) to understand the odd rumors, "Why? Why would she force Corner to apologize? Lupin hates me."

Annoyed, Mary announced, "She doesn't hate you. She just doesn't like you. Big difference."

Dorcas snorted, head hanging upside-down off the end of her mattress. Her light blonde hair was long enough to touch the floor. "Right," Dorcas giggled, "Because if she hated you, you'd probably have ended up like Corner and Wilkes. Poor girl still looks like she's smuggling sardine tins in her bra."

"Actually," Mary corrected, shifting awkwardly as she struggled to clarify her friend's reasoning, "I don't think Mina has very strong feelings toward them, either. She just didn't like what they did to Charity and thought they should suffer for it. Learn a lesson, y'know?"

Seated primly on her bed, Lily grumbled, "Like Lupin has any business appointing herself a moral bloody authority."

Mary glared. "And what exactly was your righteous response when you heard the way Corner treated Charity?" she snarled, "Oh, sure, you had an empty little speech about how terrible it was, but what did you _do_?"

For the second time in less than a week, Lily was absolutely shocked by being addressed in such a manner. First Potter and his sanctimonious tirade. Now Mary? Sweet, shy _Mary MacDonald_?

"It really doesn't take much to disapprove of cruelty," she continued, dark eyes looking especially fox-like as they narrowed in disdain, "Plenty of people sit on their arses and _disapprove_. But most of them don't lift a finger to make it stop. So if you've decided that you're one of those people, Evans, then you can shut the fuck up about those of us willing to do more than make empty little speeches."

Mary flung her magazine aside and stomped out of the room.

The silence left behind felt deafening. Heavy.

After several very long minutes, Dorcas carefully cleared her throat and inquired, "Did Mary just tell Lily to _shut the fuck up_?"

Charity nodded. She ran her fingers through her short brown hair, changing her part from the left side to the right and tucking the fringe behind her oddly shaped ears. It did nothing to distract from the girl's cleft chin or bulgy brown eyes or uneven teeth. "It's been a weird week," she remarked.

xxXxx

The wards fell. And despite having spent the entire night trying her hardest to produce that exact effect, Mina couldn't take credit: the moon was setting, and Remus had apparently designed his spellwork to crumble at the same moment.

She was going to hit him. She was going to shout herself blue. She was going to make sure her brother never pulled such an asinine stunt ever again.

But all that could wait for later. At the moment, Mina had to run faster through the tunnel; she had to get to Remus and see with her own eyes that he'd survived his ordeal.

There was... there was so much blood. Mina could smell the blood long before she saw it, bursting into the Shack already in a full panic and rushing to her brother's hunched body.

It was a mistake. She knew as soon as she touched his bare shoulder and tried to roll him over. She knew when she heard the snarl.

He wasn't done transforming. His spine (what could be seen past the gashes and gore) was still the wrong shape, crunching and writhing beneath his skin. His face, when it whipped toward her, was still half wolf. Elongated snout and massive fangs and gleaming amber eyes that showed absolutely nothing but primal wrath.

Mina stepped backward but not fast enough to avoid the clawed hand that swiped at her legs.

Her inner left thigh exploded in white hot pain, in gushing red arterial spray that nearly hit the low ceiling, that kept erupting upward even as Mina fell to the dirty floor.

"SUNNY!" the boys shouted. They were only a few paces behind, but those moments had been more than enough.

More than enough for Remus to finish his return to human, too. He panted and sobbed hoarsely, barely conscious. His sister's fresh blood splattered all over his scratched face and torn chest. "Mina, no," the trembling teen slurred, "M's'rry. Jus tryin'a... push y'way..." He collapsed roughly.

"Who has the med kit?" Mina demanded, hissing in agony as Sirius used his belt to cinch a tight tourniquet above her injury, "Moony needs-"

"Moony just slashed open your femoral artery!" her boyfriend growled, "He can wait a fucking second!" Fumbling through the box of healing potions the nurse always left in the tunnel, Sirius cursed under his breath. His blood-slick hands couldn't seem to get a good hold on any of the vials.

Shivering and cold, trying to ignore her painfully rapid heartbeat, Mina snapped, "It wasn't his fault. I shouldn't have rushed in. I didn't realize he wasn't done transforming. He was just trying to push me back."

"He's fine," James reported, abandoning his quick round of diagnostic spells and pulling a dingy blanket over Remus's unconscious shape, "None of the injuries are life-threatening. He just chewed himself up a bit more than normal."

The relief was instantaneous but hard to properly appreciate because Mina couldn't seem to catch her breath. Or make her head stop spinning. And had Sirius said something about an artery? "You're sure?" she asked weakly.

James nodded and moved to kneel beside her. He inspected the single gaping gash with clinical detachment, bright hazel gaze focused and determined. After making several passes with his wand, the young man announced, "This is nearly to the bone, and you've lost a lot of blood."

"Does she need the nurse?" Sirius demanded, cradling Mina's torso in his lap, pressing a warm hand against her frigid, clammy forehead.

"No, I'll be able to sort it," James confidently replied.

Mina didn't even think to question that. She trusted him with her life.

"I've repaired the artery," the bespectacled lad declared, "But I can't deal with the rest until we've gotten her blood volume back up."

Sirius immediately scrambled in the potion kit again and soon he was pressing a vial against Mina's mouth.

The liquid inside tasted _foul _(like tarnished metal coins picked up from the floor of a public toilet), but the girl found that her strength had gone kittenish; she could barely lift any of her limbs, let alone use them to shove Sirius and his disgusting potion away.

"Can we move her?"

She was tired. Blinking numbly at hazy surroundings.

"We're going to have to." That was James. He was talking. To Sirius. "Madame Mary will be coming soon. And I don't want to attempt to close the wound until we're someplace slightly more sterile. Can you carry her back? Under the cloak?"

"Of course."

"Good."

Mina let out a tiny whimper as someone shifted her hurt leg, as someone tied a bandage tight around the hurt spot. Merlin, everything _hurt_.

"Just keep her steady." James again. He was talking again. To Sirius again. "The repair I did is really more of a patch job, and it might not hold if she's jostled too much. Take Wormtail with you. Sunny'll probably pass out, so don't panic about that. But if her pulse drops suddenly or if she starts breathing really fast, send Wormtail for help. I'm going to the Hospital Wing to steal supplies. Meet you back in the dorm."

"Right."

She felt like she was floating, somewhere black and cold. But Sirius was there, she knew; he was the solid heat holding her tight, keeping her from just floating away.

The last thing she heard was Sirius's deep, rumbling voice. "Stay with me, Sunshine," he whispered, pressing his lips to her temple, "Stay with me. Open your eyes..."

Mina couldn't remember closing them.

xxXxx

When Lily jolted awake in the common room, she assumed that Mary was back. Because that's why Lily was in the common room in the first place: she was waiting for Mary to get back; she must've fallen asleep waiting for Mary to get back.

Because someone had to talk some sense into Mary. Someone had to convince her that the Marauders... well, that they were _horrible_.

But the common room was still empty... or at least it _looked _empty. Lily swore she heard footsteps though...

And then the slam of a door echoing down the boys' staircase.

Lily checked a nearby clock and sighed. That would be the Miscreants then, back from another evening of pretending the rules didn't apply to them. Trying to put her classmates out of her mind, Lily picked up her book again and resumed reading.

Not quite fifteen minutes later, Potter dashed through the portrait hole.

If the front of his shirt hadn't been drenched in blood, Lily would've taken House points.

But the front of his shirt _was _drenched in blood. There was blood up to his elbows, streaks on his thighs where he'd wiped his hands. Even his thick glasses and dour face bore a few splatters.

Lily jumped into his path, demanding, "What happened?"

"Out of the way!" Potter shouted. He did his best to get around her but wasn't quite as nimble as usual with his arms full of gauze and potion vials. When he couldn't move past, the young man contorted his sharp features into an expression of fury and bellowed, "Evans! I don't have time for twenty bloody questions! _Get out of the way_! _NOW_!"

Lily immediately stepped to the side, too shocked to be outraged. But not shocked enough not to follow Potter up into the dorms. She slid unnoticed through the door, shutting it with a quiet _click_.

"Have her drink these two," Potter was saying, he and Black bent over one of the beds, "That should be enough to for me to start on the rest."

"What _happened_?!" Mary shouted. She was half tucked into one of the other beds, and, despite the fact that her eyes were wide with horror, she appeared to have just woken. "Oh, Merlin! Is she-"

"She's fine," insisted Potter. Despite looking like he'd been through a massacre, the black-haired boy remained eerily calm. "She'll be fine. Really. She lost a lot of blood, but we're handling it."

There was a short but intense burst of bickering, mostly Mary scolding the boys and insisting they take their friend to the Hospital Wing. The boys arguing that it was unnecessary, that, anyways, Mina would kill them if they did.

With the distraction, Lily was able to move closer. She was able to see what all the fuss was about.

Mina Lupin. She seemed so much... smaller than usual. Lupin was actually a rather petite girl (lithe and slender and on the short side of average height), but she never came across that way. She possessed the kind of larger-than-life personality that gave her the aura of a giant. A loud, crass, obnoxious, invincible juggernaut.

But at that moment, with her prone body gone still and silent, with her skin gone cadaverous and her clothes soaked in blood, Lupin seemed downright _tiny_. Fragile. Oh-so young. She didn't move a muscle as Black tore off the shredded trouser leg and Potter peeled the bandage off her left thigh.

The wound wasn't as big as Lily expected: a single, slightly curved slash, several inches long, several inches above the inner knee. The flesh sliced cleanly as if by a razor. It continued to ooze steadily, pumping out more blood with every heartbeat until Potter waved his wand and murmured an incantation, until he poured pearlescent pink potion into the gaping fissure.

Lupin whimpered and fluttered her eyelids and tried to sit up.

"Hush," cooed Mary, gently pressing on the patient's shaking shoulders to keep her flat, "You're alright, Mina. You're fine. The boys are taking good care of you. Just lie down and rest."

"Moony," Lupin answered. Her voice emerged as a dry, brittle rasp through colorless lips. "Don't tell him," she demanded, "Wasn't... wasn't his fault..." And then the girl went limp again.

Lily began to wonder exactly how many times scenes like this one had played out. How many times Lupin had allowed herself to come close to death just to provide the small comfort of her presence to her brother's wolf. How many times her friends had patched her up with surprising expertise.

Potter tossed a potion up toward the head of the bed and ordered, "Here, see if she'll drink another."

"You're going to overdose her!" Black protested, "She's already had three replenishers!" He held Lupin's hand, tenderly petting gory hair away from the girl's ghostly white face.

"It's fine," Potter insisted, not bothering to look up. With every pass of his wand, Lily could actually see individual layers of ruined muscle knitting back together, tendons and vessels snapping into place like rubber bands breaking in reverse.

It was impressive spellwork that should've been far beyond the capabilities of a sixth-year troublemaker who rarely bothered to stay awake during classes.

"Is there anything I can do?" Lily inquired, suddenly aware of just how useless she felt.

Clearly surprised that the redhead was even in the room, Mary and Black and even Pettigrew stared at her in confusion.

Potter never so much as glanced away from his task. Entirely focused. Entirely in charge. "Not right now," he announced, "But you can go be with Remus in the infirmary in a few hours. Do your best to keep him from escaping early."

Lily nodded. She sat on the nearest trunk, quietly watching and waiting.

xxXxx

Between the sleepless night and the adrenaline crash, Peter really had no chance of staying awake longer than the time it took him to tumble onto his mattress.

Sirius did a much better job resisting slumber, hovering within arm's length of the patient for several hours. But he'd sort of been... conditioned by all the time Mina was spending helping him conquer his nightmares. Mina was in his bed, and almost as soon as the weary Animagus snuggled in next to the girl, tucked her up all safe in his embrace with the intention of "providing additional body heat," he turned into a snoring lump.

The whole production felt appropriately Pavlovian.

They skipped breakfast, and Evans left shortly after to check on Remus. When lunch finally rolled around, the loud, incessant growl of James's stomach had Mary offering to go on a foraging mission. That was how she said it, too:_ foraging mission_. James couldn't help smile at how much the Marauders were rubbing off on her.

The keeper's exit left James not alone but as good as. And in his solitude, he did a very stupid thing: he thought.

Not that James wasn't normally a thoughtful bloke. He was just more cheerful than thoughtful and tended not to dwell on upsetting subjects. Unfortunately, his most frequent cheerful thought had somehow become his newest upsetting subject: Lily Evans.

He couldn't remember ever feeling quite as hopeless about their relationship as he did right then. Maybe because there'd been so much progress, maybe because now he actually knew what it was like to be her friend, to write letters and share meals, to chat with her between classes and make her smile.

But he'd ruined it by shouting at her about... hell, what had he been shouting about? Curfews for first-years?

That was _absurd_. What was _wrong_ with him?

He'd just gotten so... angry after hearing about Evans's date with McDougal. Stupid bloody perfect Head Boy Hamish McDougal with his handsome face and sexy accent. With his bloody boring, straight-laced personality. _That_ was the kind of man Lily wanted?

James bolted upright and came to a realization concerning the root of his anger. It wasn't that he hated McDougal; McDougal was too depressingly bland to hate. No, James hated the fact that if McDougal was the kind of man Lily wanted, then James didn't stand a chance. At least not without changing himself so drastically that he wouldn't be himself anymore.

That was what Mina had been trying to tell him for years: "_Is it worth it chasing after someone who doesn't appreciate you?_" she'd asked him once, "_Who's only ever going to want you if you become a different person?_"

Merlin's sparkly taint. Mina was... fourteen when she said that. _Fourteen_, and the girl already understood more about the world than James could hope to.

Struck by a wave of affection, James strode to her bedside, crouched, and took a pulse from his almost-sister's thin wrist. She was still cold and pale as death, but her heartbeat remained strong; her color had been steadily improving all morning, and her appearance had certainly been less upsetting since Mary spelled the girl into a clean shirt and stolen pair of James's boxers.

With a quiet, exhausted groan, Mina began to stir, her deep blue irises just barely visible between thick lashes.

James didn't realize how close he was until Mina picked her hand up off the blanket and gently touched two fingers to his forehead.

Dazed, the girl whispered, "Have your eyes always been that color?"

An uncomfortable shiver of déjà vu and just plain eeriness raced down the length of James's spine. "What?" the young man demanded, gently grasping Mina's wrist again and squeezing it soothingly, "Sunny, this is the second time you've asked me that question. What do you mean?"

She blinked and shook herself. And frowned, slurring, "What do I mean what?"

It was James's turn to frown. "Do you remember what you just asked me?" he inquired.

Struggling to come up with words, the girl replied, "I asked _what do I mean what_?"

"No, before that," said James. He didn't like this. Not at all.

"Piss off, Prongs," Mina grumbled, trying to curl into Sirius's embrace and gasping when she shifted her leg.

James maneuvered the girl back into her previous position and scolded, "Don't move. That cut is going to take at least a day to stabilize. Even longer if you rip it open again."

Though she carried on grunting and mumbling complaints, Mina stayed where she was put.

James decided that he needed to ignore the odd questions in favor of more immediate concerns. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Tired," sighed Mina. She seemed physically incapable of prying her eyelids any farther apart. "Thirsty... s'Moony ok?"

Every time. Every damn time. They needed to somehow convince the girl that her own safety was just as important as her brother's.

"Yes," James answered, "Moony is perfectly alright-"

"I don't care who the hell you are! You can't just barge in anywhere you please!"

Mary's abrupt shouting and the low murmuring reply gave James just enough time to throw a blanket over Mina's incriminating injury and vanish a few piles of bloody clothing. A moment later, Hamish McDougal burst through the door. His gaze made a suspicious sweep of the round, messy tower room.

"What are you all doing in here?" the Head Boy demanded.

Mina yawned, "Napping."

"I wasn't aware you had the authority to spot-check dormitories," James reported, only a little nastily, "Especially in other Houses."

Frowning, clearly not buying the innocent explanation, McDougal declared, "Well, I do. I think. Anyways, I just need to talk to Lupin."

Making an unhappy whining noise, Mina replied, "Go'way. M'asleep."

Still actually asleep (somehow), Sirius grunted and snuggled closer in agreement.

"It's important," McDougal insisted.

"The list for the Hobgoblins?" Mina sighed wearily, "Leave it anywhere. I'll send it later."

McDougal did have a list, which he placed on Sirius's trunk. But that apparently wasn't the important thing because he remained in the room, peering down at the two bodies in Sirius's bed.

"I was going to tell her about Corner," said Mary. She looked quite putout. "Mina hasn't done anything to him since he apologized," the tall girl continued, placing her burden of lunch items on Remus's bed, "You really didn't have to stalk me and push past me to warn her off him!"

"It's not about Corner," McDougal declared, "Though I am happy to hear his ordeal is over."

Mina giggled something that sounded like _voodoo balls_. But that couldn't be right.

And James was getting fed up. He wanted the damn Head Boy out of his room. "Either state your business or bugger off," the young man snapped.

Mary backed him up by quipping, "Wanker."

Apparently shocked at being spoken to in such a manner, McDougal gaped stupidly. But then he finally did clear his throat, announcing, "First of all, five points from Gryffindor. Each. For being rude, disrespectful sass-mouths-"

Mina snorted and snickered, "_Sass-mouths_? Are you secretly someone's granny?"

"Second of all," McDougal continued, annoyed, "I need to talk to Lupin _alone_, so if the rest of you would give us the room-"

"Ugh," Mina groaned, "M'just gonna tell 'em after you leave. Might as well save me the step."

The Head Boy pinched the bridge of his perfect straight nose and sighed, "Fine. Whatever. If it gets this over with."

James joined Mina on Remus's bed, moving the enormous bowl of mashed potatoes to his lap. He stuffed his mouth full to bursting (a preemptive effort not to lose anymore points, which he knew Evans hated) and settled in for what would hopefully be a mildly entertaining conversation.

"I got a letter the other day," McDougal began. He crossed and then quickly uncrossed his arms, wincing (likely remembering his recently bout of humanpretzelitis, ha). "From David Bell," the burly Scot went on, jamming his hands into his pockets, "He's still in an alcohol treatment program, but he's doing a lot better. He's reached a step in his recovery where he wants to make amends to the people he's hurt."

The long pause must've been because Mina looked like she had nodded off. But the girl didn't have to open her eyes to drawl, "And?"

Huffing, clearly irritated, McDougal continued, "_And_ you're one of those people. You might recall he tried to strangle you. David would like to apologize to you in person during the next Hogsmeade visit."

"This is what you qualify as important?" Mina chuckled, "Important enough to interrupt naptime?"

McDougal glared. "David is my friend," he said, "If he needs this to heal, then I'm going to do everything I can to make it happen."

Fuck. McDougal was a bore, but he was a nice bloke.

James really wished he wasn't.

Expression softening, Mina answered, "Three Broomsticks at noon?"

With a relieved half-smile, McDougal responded, "Yes, thank you." And then he left.

Afterward, Mary was the first to speak. "Persistent little weirdo, isn't he? And sneaky, too. I told him I didn't know where you were, and he followed me anyways."

Laughing, Mina replied, "Mac, you were carrying a picnic for five. That doesn't take a Ravenclaw to decipher."

The dark-haired keeper turned slightly pink in her plump cheeks but chuckled, "Oh, shut up."

Mina stuck her tongue out and teased, "Oh, lie better."

xxXxx

_Well_, Lily thought to herself when she discovered Remus's cot empty, _I suppose prison guard is one more career choice I can eliminate... how the hell did he get past me? Better yet, how the hell did he manage to stay standing long enough to get past me?_

The redhead sighed and turned to leave the Hospital Wing. There was very little chance of catching Remus. His weakened state would slow him down, but the Marauders had shortcuts everywhere.

Sure enough, Lily arrived at the Tower and scaled the boys' stairs and found Remus fussing over his twin.

"Gerroff, Moony," Mina tiredly complained, still confined to bed but doing her best to squirm away from the doting hands, "And sit down before you fall down! You don't look any better than I do at the moment!"

"What were you thinking?!" the werewolf scolded. The look on his pale face was nothing short of absolute despair. "I could've killed you, Sunny! This is exactly why I didn't want-"

"Oh no," Mina stubbornly cut him off. She waggled a finger at him, eyes nearly crossing as she struggled to stay focused. "We are not having that conversation yet. I need to be physically strong enough to smash your thick head in when we have that conversation!"

Cuddling his girlfriend like she was a giant teddy bear in an oversized t-shirt and ridiculous snitch-covered boxers, Black snickered, "Two rocks and a hammer, Sunshine? Shall I fetch them for you?"

Remus glared, irritation and confusion and exhaustion showing through. Though he continued to sway on his feet and appeared to be about three seconds from fainting, the young man demanded, "What the hell are you babbling about? And _why the hell is my sister in your bloody bed_?!"

"Yours was occupied," Black replied. He winked audaciously at Mary.

Blushing, the statuesque Scot crossly replied, "I know what you're implying, but it certainly wasn't like that-"

"MacDonald decided that she couldn't stand being in the same room as me," Lily spoke up. The row still kind of stung.

With a scowl, Mary grumbled, "I was in a bad mood, and you were being catty."

Lily grimaced. "Merlin," she stated, "Is that your idea of an apology?"

Mary smirked and answered, "Of course not."

There was a loud snort, inappropriate giggles. Mina. She sing-songed, "Oh, Mac. You are positively delightful."

Rolling her dark eyes, the keeper snapped, "Don't you have a mortal injury to sleep off?"

"Yes," Mina yawned, tucking her arms behind her head and wiggling her toes, "Which I could get back to if only the room wasn't full of screaming idiots."

Remus's knees buckled. He would've hit the floor hard if James hadn't caught him.

The well-muscled chaser swore a blue streak (cursing the entire line of stubborn, self-destructive Lupins back five generations), but he didn't appear to have any trouble picking his friend up or wrestling the uncooperative teen into bed.

"Be a good boy for Healer Prongs," Mina taunted, wincing slightly as she readjusted her bandaged leg on its massive mound of pillows, "Or you won't get a lollipop."

"I will take your lollipop," Black chirped, "And I will eat it, slowly and sensually, while you watch until you _cry like a little girl_."

"And I'll let him," Mina agreed, giggling again, "Because you have been a _very bad Moony_."

Lily realized that the room didn't smell like blood and dirty socks anymore. The room now smelled like cherries. Which probably meant one thing. "Merlin's sake," she grumbled, "Are you stoned again?"

The manic, twittering laughter was enough of an answer. But after it died down a bit, Mina fake pouted and theatrically whined, "My leg hurts. Ow."

"And I've been sympathy smoking," Black declared. His gray eyes were glazed, his grin open and blinding. "Because I am an _excellent_ boyfriend."

Mina sent him a sultry stare, briefly biting her bottom lip. She ran her fingers through his long hair and agreed, "Mmm. You most certainly are." And then she pulled the lad on top of herself and kissed him, which quickly evolved into a heated but clumsy snog. With loud moaning and shameless groping. Suction noises that would haunt Lily's nightmares.

"This is cruel," Remus croaked wearily.

Together, his sister and friend detached lips just long enough to chime, "Good."

Remus was too weak to do anything but fling a gauze-covered arm across his face. "Prongs," he whimpered, "Make them _stop_."

"Oi, you two," Potter admonished, rolling his bright eyes before turning his back on the spectacle. "You realize this punishes me as well?" He busied himself picking out various potions to force onto Remus.

"All of us, really," declared Mary, whose round cheeks had turned a blazing Gryffindor red.

Lily was sure her own blush matched.

A lump of blankets on one of the other beds turned out to be Pettigrew, who (finally woken by the commotion) picked his head up and blinked at his surroundings. What he saw made his jaw drop open, his eyes clouding with unmistakable arousal.

Suddenly desperate for a shower, Lily coughed and declared, "Right then. I think I'll be going now. Feel better, Remus."

"Take me with you!" the boy shouted desperately, "Please! I'll go back to the Hospital Wing! I swear! Just don't leave me with them!"

Pausing at the door, Lily took in the scene one last time: Mina and Black too high to stand but devouring each other as lewdly as possible while still fully clothed; Pettigrew watching with rapt, unbearably disgusting interest; Mary and Remus doing their absolute best to block out the sounds and sights of the rest of the room.

Potter, though he was trying to be sneaky about it, gazing mournfully at Lily out of the corner of his eye.

Hilariously horrifying, or possibly horrifyingly hilarious. _Fucking Marauders_, she thought, leaving before their insanity could spread.

xxXxx

It was Tuesday before the limp fully faded. Mina told anyone bold enough to ask (whether they be student or professor or sadistic old squib) that she'd earned the injury fighting off a hoard of bloody great big giant spiders behind the greenhouses.

(The only person to believe the story was Tia, who never again went to Herbology without an enormous steak knife tucked into her bag.)

The scar remained and always would, but James was a fucking pro, and the mark would be hardly noticeable within the month.

Remus moped guiltily until Thursday, when Mina beat him ruthlessly with a baguette during dinner. She loved her brother too much to actually beat him with two rocks and a hammer, but she had to beat him with something as punishment for locking them out of the Shack. Merlin help him if he ever tried to do it again.

Glaring like a Horntail, Mary helped the lad shake breadcrumbs out of his sandy hair. Afterward, Remus asked her to the Halloween Ball, and she accepted with an entirely too pleased smile.

"You'll be my date, won't you?" Sirius asked during Astronomy. He was ignoring that night's assignment again, but the only reason he took the class at all was because Mina did.

Mina looked up from her telescope and smirked wickedly. "Who else would I go with?" she chuckled, "Besides, I'm already dating you. Doesn't that make me your date for everything?"

The lad beamed. "Sounds good to me," he answered. After a quick glance to make sure that Professor Varela wasn't paying attention, Sirius pressed his chest against Mina's back, wrapping his arms around the girl and lightly nuzzling her neck.

"Padfoot," she giggled, trying halfheartedly to push him away.

"What're you going to wear to the ball?" he asked. His deep voice made her thighs quiver and her stomach tie itself in knots. "Something sexy?" the lad went on, nipping her earlobe, letting his hands wander under the front of her shirt, "Lots of skin?"

Mina melted into his embrace and did her best not to moan aloud. "I'll take your suggestions under advisement," she murmured, "Mac's been threatening to charm me into one of those big fluffy hoop-skirt numbers. If Zabat wasn't being such a bitch and making the evening so formal, I could just go for a normal costume. Naughty schoolgirl, maybe."

With a low laugh, Sirius replied, "That wouldn't be much of a costume. You're always a naughty schoolgirl." He rubbed her hip, fingers dipping just beneath the waist of her trousers. "Bet you're not even wearing any knickers right now."

There was an uncomfortable cough, and, at the next telescope over, Benjy Fenwick complained, "Some of us are trying to work here."

"Eyes forward, Fenwick," Sirius scolded as he continued his completely unsubtle groping, "Or I'll steal your girlfriend and give her to Pete."

The nervous little Ravenclaw was far too confused to be insulted.

Groaning softly, Mina declared, "Bloody hell. I forgot about Pete. We _have_ to find him a date."

"Didn't you hear?" asked Benjy. He seemed eager to move them onto a subject that didn't involve what Mina was or was not wearing.

Both Marauders shook their heads. Mina swatted Sirius's hand away from her zipper.

"Y'know Yvette Kemp?" Benjy inquired. He scratched the dark stubble on his rounded chin. "The fit blonde? Hufflepuff? Has all those sisters?"

They did know Yvette. And despite being a bubbly airhead, she wasn't too horrible. Suzi adored her, and the fifth-year had been happily taking part in James's runs.

"She asked Pettigrew to go with her," Benjy continued, "Right after dinner. He turned her down. Said something about you lot putting her up to it and that he didn't need anyone's pity."

Only one thought raced through Mina's mind and subsequently out her mouth: "Fuck."

xxXxx

They let Remus scold them for nearly twenty minutes because that was the usual price to pay for his assistance with damage control (especially on something he'd warned them was a bad idea). But after several dozen appropriately contrite refrains of "Yes, Moony. You were right. We were wrong. You are a wise and powerful Moony. We beg for your mercy," he agreed to help them kidnap Peter (even though he thought that was also a bad idea).

So while Remus and Sirius went to wake James and stun, bind, and transport the man of the hour, Mina roused little Suzi Kemp.

The third-year did not take kindly to being woken in the middle of the night. She was even less pleased when Mina explained why. In fact, Suzi rose considerably in Mina's esteem when the small girl launched into one of the most poetic yet foul rants known to human history, at the end of which Mina wrote down a few of her favorite phrases and chuckled, "Damn, Blondie."

Suzi agreed to go along with the scheme because she was amused by the thought of Pete being tied up and delivered to her sisters. In his underwear.

(Which wasn't malicious, mind. Dressing unconscious people is difficult. Mary knew a spell for it, but Mary took forever to wake and probably wouldn't help anyways. And time was of the essence. Besides, plaid boxers and a threadbare t-shirt wouldn't be too embarrassing for Pete to be seen in. Even if the t-shirt did have cutesy cartoon kitten on the front...)

"You're all insane," Suzi grumbled, her gold hair was matted, her slim body clumsy with fatigue, "Like really, certifiably _insane_. I used to think you were just kind of weird, but that doesn't even _begin_ to cover it. In all honesty, you should probably be locked in some sort of facility."

"We are nobly righting a tragic wrong, little Kemp," Sirius proclaimed in all his proud, aristocratic glory.

Suzi huffed and snarled, "Don't call me that!"

With Mina watching the Map and the boys levitating Pete, the group arrived quickly and without incident in the kitchens. Because although Suzi knew how to access the Hufflepuff common room, she refused to grant the Marauders entry. Which, admittedly, was wise.

So they waited while she fetched her sisters.

There were five Kemp girls, four of whom were Hufflepuffs. Paulette was the oldest, a seventh-year; Bernardette a sixth; Yvette a fifth; Cosette a fourth. They were all tall, and blonde, and pretty. Rather hard to tell apart, if you didn't know the clues:

Paulette was still fairly terrified of Mina and did her best to hang back.

Bernardette was Ed Bones's arm candy.

Yvette looked like she had been crying.

Cosette was the other one.

"Ok," Mina began, doing her best to smile apologetically, "So... there's been another misunderstanding."

Bernardette (or Bernie, to her friends) snorted and snapped, "What? No swords?"

Smirking, Mina replied, "We didn't have time to think of a theme. Though possibly something Shakespearean would've been fitting."

Sitting slumped on a nearby table and shoveling ice cream into her mouth, Suzi demanded, "Get on with it. There's class in the morning."

James revived Peter, who immediately freaked the hell out, cursing and struggling and vowing to kill them all. Of course, he still had on that stupid kitten t-shirt, so the lad was rather hard to take seriously.

Mina simply silenced him, ordering her friend to calm down and listen up.

Remus, ever the level head, declared, "We're very sorry about how Peter acted today, but it's not entirely his fault."

"We didn't realize he'd found out about Operation Lusty Badger," Sirius contributed.

"Operation _WHAT_?" the five sisters shouted as one.

(If they actually had been veela, as some rumors claimed, that would've been the moment the talons and fireballs came into play.)

Attempting to backtrack hastily, James said, "Wait. It sounds worse than it is. We were just trying to cheer him up after his dad died..."

The explanation was quite rambling in sections. At one point, Remus turned purple and threatened to wash Mina's mouth out. But they got through.

At the end, Mina knelt close to Pete and murmured, "Wormtail, we didn't put Yvette up to anything. Honestly. We were still trying to sort out a girl who seemed more or less normal. It wasn't as easy as we thought."

Peter's head-to-toe blush would've done any virgin nun proud, but the lad seemed much less homicidal, so Mina released the silencer. He stared up at Yvette, quietly inquiring, "Really?"

"I liked your parrot," she replied, her own cheeks a demure pink.

xxXxx

It wasn't until Friday morning, nearly an entire week since the full moon incident, that Mina remembered Professor Giles and his bullshit prophecy.

_"Bleed," he'd told her, rheumy eyes rolled back and showing only milky whites, "You will bleed."_

As she read the article announcing his death from "medical complications," Mina could feel her leg throb, could hear the crazed old man's voice in her head, just as eerily flat and distant as it had been the day he'd had his convulsion in the Divination classroom. And instead of the shock and sorrow expressed by most of the students, Mina could only summon hatred.

She'd been entertaining fantasies of beating a confession out of Giles, making him admit once and for all that he was nothing but a con-man and a lunatic on top of being a filthy Death Eater. _Of course_ his prophecy wasn't real (just a series of coincidences and inevitabilities and lucky guesses), but it would've made her feel a lot better to hear that from Giles.

Not believing for a second that "medical complications" wasn't code for "keeled over during aggressive interrogation," Mina spent most of the ensuing morning resisting the urge to floo straight to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and kick a few aurors' heads in.

Thankfully, the professors also knew the truth of Giles's dark allegiances and didn't play up the "tragedy." Flitwick merely offered a sympathetic ear should anyone feel the need to talk through their emotions. Kettleburn didn't mention the death at all; he did, however, award Mina twenty points at the end of class for "good behavior."

Seeing as how Mina spent the entire double period trying to train her Clabbert (named Gilbert) to attack on command, the real reason for the uncharacteristic and undeserved reward was clear: _Thanks for helping rid the world of Death Eating filth_.

And, ya, Mina was beyond furious, resentful and frustrated, but she would've been able to hold her anger more or less in check if it hadn't been for the stupid planning committee meeting. If it hadn't been for stupid fucking Hamish McDougal.

"Hogwarts has suffered a great loss," he began, properly grim, "Many of you, myself included, were quite fond of Professor Giles. I thought it would be nice to pay our respects to him with a moment of silence before we begin."

There were murmurs of solemn agreement, bowed heads, and Mina _couldn't_ _stand it_.

She got up to leave, but McDougal noticed and demanded, "Hey, where are you going?"

After several deep breaths in an always futile attempt to quell her endless inner rage, Mina declared, "It'll be a cold day in hell before I give that useless fraud an ounce of my respect, let alone my bloody silence. Call me back when you're through with this pitiful wank session."

Mina decided to have a cigarette in the hallway outside the Head Boy and Girl's office. Because the only other option for forcing herself to calm down was blowing something into teeny tiny pieces and dancing among the ashes.

The plan derailed when McDougal followed her and snatched the contraband away before it was even lit. "I'm getting really sick of your attitude!" the dark-haired teen bellowed, full of indignant bluster, "I've put up with a lot, but this time you've gone too far! A man is dead!"

Enraged to the point of absolute icy stillness, Mina could swear she felt the ground shake. "McDougal," she replied, voice a low, dangerous rasp, "You're going to want to remove yourself from my presence before I obliterate you from my presence."

Though his suddenly uncertain expression suggested otherwise, the tall seventh-year insisted, "I'm not scared of you! You're just an ill-mannered brat who likes to play power games, and I won't be a party to it any longer! You get back in that room, and you apologize for what you said!"

The ground trembled again. Mina was sure that time. She was also sure McDougal felt it, too. "Giles was lower than scum," the girl hissed, "And the only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't kill him myself. Now _FUCK OFF_!"

A nearby window shattered with a sharp _pop_, exploding into a cloud of powdered glass. The other windows in the hallway very shortly followed suit—_pop. pop-pop. pop. pop_—and showered the ancient stones in glittering crystal dust.

Mina started to realize that she was causing the disturbance. Her own magic gone wild. Fierce rage sick of festering inside her and finally spilling over as unbridled destruction in the physical world. She realized and tried to make it stop, but then a hand closed around her shoulder.

She turned and swung, not caring at all whose face her fist would meet.

Alastor Moody must've had his skull replaced with the same nigh unbreakable wood as his leg because, _fuck_, did that fucking _hurt_.

Glaring, only slightly guiltily, Mina staunchly resisted the urge to howl at the agony radiating all the way from her fingertips to her scapula.

And for his part, Moody didn't seem particularly bothered by being punched in the head. His neck cracked as it readjusted to a more natural position, and his free hand came up to gently cradle and wiggle his gray-stubbled jaw. Eventually, the grizzled old auror proclaimed, "Helluva right hook."

Mina returned a bitter smirk. "Thanks."

She made up her mind right then: Moody was fucking awesome.

The burly man aimed his gaze over Mina's shoulder. "Off you go, lad," he ordered gruffly.

Mina glanced back at McDougal, snorting with amusement as she saw the terrified Ravenclaw stumble away frantically. In his panic, he overshot the office and had to retrace his steps. His dignity remained in the wrecked hallway when he locked the door behind him.

"Something on your mind, Lupin?" Moody inquired. He almost sounded amused.

With a dark scowl, Mina replied, "You selfish bastards just _had_ to kill Giles before I could get my turn."

He snorted, motioning for her to follow as he set off toward some unknown destination. "You were never going to _get a turn_," Moody claimed, cane and peg tapping rhythmically, "And anyways, that isn't what happened."

"Don't you dare tell me the mad twat actually went in his sleep all peaceful like-"

Moody cut her off with a jagged stare. "Not here," he growled.

Mina frowned at him. "You're back on duty, right?" she accused, "So is this official, or did you just come to visit lil' ole me?"

Only a few explanationless steps later, Professor Lazarov joined them from the shadows. "Alastor," the tall, unnervingly pale woman greeted, "Lupin. You vouldn't be responsible for those small... tremors?"

"A little accidental magic never hurt anyone," said Mina. She was still quite angry, but between the release and shock of punching Moody, the girl felt much more in control.

Chuckling roughly, Moody replied, "Except perhaps the Head Boy."

Mina shrugged. "Still not my fault," she insisted, "If I hadn't been sentenced to help plan this _stupid_ ball-" The girl turned to the vampire, quipping, "Thanks for that, by the way."

Lazarov hissed softly, her colorless upper lip curling away from her fangs. "I don't vant it to happen anymore than you vant to plan it," she snarled, dark eyes narrowed, "Albus believes his is being hospitable by observing my family's tradition. But anything you children assemble vill never be the same. It vill surely only make me miss my family all the more."

Something about the way the professor said _miss my family_ caused Mina to immediately swallow a flippant comment about going home for a holiday.

Mina followed Moody and Lazarov without really thinking. Moody was (as previously mentioned) fucking awesome, and Lazarov was a vampire, which would never stop being cool. Only when the threesome reached the gargoyle outside the Headmaster's office did Mina begin to wonder where the hell they were going.

"Oh," the girl muttered, reasonably certain that she didn't want to be invited to whatever conference was about to take place, "Well. Alright then. Nice catching up. See you around."

With a gruff chuckle, Moody declared, "You're not going anywhere but straight up those stairs. _Gobstopper_."

Groaning in tandem with the gargoyle's joints, Mina insisted, "I didn't even _do_ anything! McDougal provoked me! He's a complete twat! I'll fix the sodding windows!"

Moody burst out laughing, actually slapping his stumpy knee. "C'mon now," he chuckled, "Don't be ridiculous. You know damn well that's not why we're here."

Mina sighed. "Ya... alright. Fuck it. Let's get this over with." Whatever _this_ was...

xxxxxxxxxx

Don't you just hate when you get plenty of sleep and still wake up exhausted? I certainly do... *yawn*

But never fear. The update is on time. As always, reviewers will be gifted with good karma and hearty thanks :)


	33. Family Secrets

Part 33 – Family Secrets

Darkness. Darkness so complete that Mina had a hard time breathing.

"There's nothing," she murmured, holding on tighter to Moody's elbow so she wouldn't lose her companion to the solid nothing, "It's blank, like they said. I don't know why."

The old auror huffed and grumbled, "If you shut up for more than ten seconds, then maybe you'll hear."

"Hear what?"

"_Quiet_."

And so Mina was quiet. She closed her eyes. Somehow, the gloom behind her eyelids was less terrifying than the horrible black abyss beyond. Maybe because she knew that the horrible black abyss actually existed inside her. The girl strained her keen wolf senses and _listened_.

And there it was, almost outside the range of normal human detection: whispers. Dozens, maybe hundreds of hushed voices all talking, wailing, laughing, crying, keening, screaming at once.

Though she was struck by a feeling of deep unease, Mina concentrated harder and was able to decipher snippets. She recognized most of the speakers.

"-_Harry and go! It's him_-" James. In a panic.

"-_Mummy, please. The wolf_-" Herself. Begging desperately.

"-_Bone of the father_-" Peter. An odd chant.

"-_The wolf! Why won't you believe_-" Herself. Young.

"-_SHOULD HAVE DIED_-" Sirius. Full of broken-hearted malice.

"-_Going to eat Remy!_-" Herself. When she still called her brother Remy.

"-_NO! You promised-_" Remus. Wretched sobs.

"-_Not a dream! The wolf is real_-" Herself. Livid, hoarse, screeching.

Unable to take anymore, Mina reined in her Animagus senses.

But not before one more voice, her own shaken, despairing voice floated out from the void.

"_Why?_" The word dripped with shock. sorrow. betrayal.

She shuddered in the calm left behind as unease became marrow-chilling dread.

And Moody, sensing that his purpose had been completed, pulled them both out of the Pensieve.

Mina's feet hit the carpet of the Headmaster's office, and she barely had a moment to blink dizzily at the colorful, over-bright room before her legs gave out.

"Whoa," someone said, darting forward to catch her.

Mina struggled instinctively. When she saw it was one of the Prewett brothers who held her, she snarled and thrust the heel of her palm straight into his fat freckled nose.

Which was satisfying only for the time it took Mina's body to be dropped roughly to the floor.

"Fuckin 'ell," the Prewett swore, glaring through watering eyes as he tried to stem the blood coming from his crushed nostrils.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?!" Mina yelled. She pushed onto her hands and knees, too faint to stand. Head down, she swiped furiously at the traitorous moisture on her cheeks.

Goddamn Prewett. Who the hell screwed up a memory extraction so badly as to produce... that?! What the hell _was _that?!

She couldn't stop crying. Thought she might be hyperventilating. And didn't even begin to understand _why_.

"_Why?_"

"_Why?_"

"_Why?_"

"_Why?_"

"_Why?_"

She had to shake her head to make the question stop echoing inside it. Only the fact that her throat seemed to have momentarily collapsed kept pure acid from rushing out the girl's mouth.

"It's alright, dear," Mrs. Potter murmured, kneeling beside Mina and gently coaxing her to sit up. The old woman gave a kind, soothing smile and straightened Mina's wild hair. "You're alright. Take a deep breath now."

"Mrs. P," Mina whimpered. For just a moment, she allowed herself to be wrapped in a warm motherly embrace. "I don't... I can't..." Her delirious gaze, which she hadn't realized was darting anxiously, locked onto the bloodied Prewett. Gideon, she decided in an instant. A possessive animal growl rent the very atmosphere. "You're in my seat."

The burly redhead stared at her over a gore-stained handkerchief. "Huh?" he grunted, not making a move to vacate Mina's usual purple armchair. The lovely comfy one speckled with little silver stars.

Drawing on rage to suppress her less desirable emotions, Mina stood jerkily and advanced. "My seat," she repeated, only half aware of just how bizarre she must sound, "You're in my seat. _Get up_."

There was a brief silence. All eyes on Mina as their owners worried for the girl's sanity.

(She could always tell by the way her skin crawled.)

"You kidd'n be?" Gideon spat.

It was with a considerable amount of pleasure that Mina struggled to decipher his slurred, nasally words. "_Get up_," she demanded once more, "It's _my seat_."

Awkwardly, Mr. Potter declared, "Mina, love, there are plenty of seats-"

"And that one is _mine_!" the girl shouted.

For several moments, all Mina could hear was her own ragged breathing.

Then Moody, once again proving himself truly awesome, swung his new cane and thwacked Gideon in the shin. "Up," he commanded, "Have your brother sort your face."

Gideon muttered angrily but complied, leaving Mina free to reclaim her rightful spot. Relaxing marginally into the familiar cushions, she hugged her knees to her chest and glowered at the ridiculous number of adults in the room.

Dumbledore. Mr. and Mrs. Potter. Moody. The Prewett twins. Frank and Alice. Professors Lazarov and McGonagall. Three other nameless men, who hadn't been present before the trip into the Pensieve, who were looking at Mina like she was a plump Christmas ham.

"Who the hell are they?" Mina demanded, fixing the strangers with her icy stare.

Still lingering placidly on the other side of his cluttered desk, Dumbledore gestured to each individual and explained, "This is Lord Ophiuchus Lestrange, Mr. Torvald Vollan, and Mr. Broderick Bode. They're Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries, and they're the ones who first alerted us to the... irregularity."

Mina snorted. She had several very good reasons not to trust them as far as she could kick them. Firstly, they were responsible for hounding her about Giles's so-called prophecy, which eventually led to Gideon fucking Prewett yanking the _irregularity_ out of her skull. Secondly, Lestrange and Vollan bore recognizable pure-blood surnames. Mina thought Sirius might have a sadistic bitch cousin who married a Lestrange; there was a Slytherin Vollan in their year, some tall blonde harpy, if Mina wasn't mistaken.

It was the third man, Bode, who spoke. He quite wisely didn't come within arm's length of Mina but still squatted a bit to put himself on her level. He was obviously far younger than both his colleagues, probably a spry thirty to their combined one-hundred-twenty. He had a sad face, with sallow, almost jaundiced skin and a round jaw. "We believe it's a scar," said Bode, "Or, y'know, the psychological equivalent. We've seen similar dark spots in victims of powerful memory curses. Not charms like _Obliviate_, which conceal or remove memories and can sometimes be reversed, but an actual curse meant to irreparably destroy a part, if not all of your mind."

"Great," Mina croaked, shivering. Her cerebral synapses itched. "Fucking great. Who... when..." She tried to ask_ why_ but didn't think she could articulate the word without being sick.

"We aren't certain," Bode explained, "But with your permission, we'd like to examine you and try to figure it out."

Mina's mouth went dry. "No!" the girl roared, "I'm nobody's fucking lab rat!"

"Miss Lupin," McGonagall scolded primly, "These men are generously offering to help you-"

"Generous my perfectly sculpted arse," Mina challenged. She glared straight at Bode. "What's the agenda? Why do you really care?"

Bode seemed surprised but didn't bother with denial.

One of the other Unspeakables, Lestrange, declared, "We are quite intrigued by your case and believe that it merits further study." Long gray hair framed his thin, haughty features and spilled over elegant black robes that probably cost as much as a family of six spent on food in a year. He had the coldest, deadest eyes...

Laughing, starting to feel rather hysterical, Mina replied, "Ficus, was it? I'll bet you say that to all the girls, but sorry, my type doesn't include _geriatric_."

The lord bristled, black-clad shoulders drawing up and widening like a cobra's hood. His gloved fists tightened with the obvious urge to backhand her. "_Ophiuchus_," he hissed, "_Lord Lestrange_, to you. Insolent child-"

"This will go much more smoothly if we all remain civil," Dumbledore drawled. He fixed Mina with a stern stare, adding, "That includes you, Miss Lupin. I understand you're upset, but these gentlemen genuinely do want to help you. They've done a great deal of research on your behalf, and the least you can do now is listen to what they have to say."

Mina gnawed her bottom lip for several long minutes, waging a mental war. On one side, she wanted to know what was wrong with her, who did it, where she could find that person, if she could beat the guilty party to death and still avoid Azkaban. On the other side, however, she really didn't want to know at all, didn't want to hear that her little broken brain was even more broken than she'd always suspected.

Finally, the girl just nodded, resigning herself to the damnation of knowledge.

xxXxx

They'd been guessing passwords for the last half hour with zero success, Remus growing progressively more frantic as Peter watched the Map for signs of movement inside the Headmaster's office.

"_Gummy bears_... um... _Jordan almonds_... no?... _Jelly Tots_..."

Sirius sighed and shook his head, suggesting, "Moony, mate, relax. I really don't think she's being expelled."

The werewolf turned momentarily from his task. There was a dangerous gleam in his wide amber eyes. "Second time in a less than a month, Pads," Remus growled, "_Second time_. _Less than a month_. Rumors about my sister trying to murder a Ravenclaw. James's parents and half the bloody auror department called to the school. At this point, I'm just hoping she doesn't receive any jail time."

Apparently trying to find a balance between concern and amusement, James chirped, "Mum and Dad aren't going to let her be expelled or locked up. Besides, McDougal is full of shit. Sunny didn't try to kill Greta Rudiger, and I'm sure she didn't try to kill the Head Boob either."

"And if I remember correctly," Peter contributed, eyes still on the precious enchanted parchment, "Nobody was called to the school during the Rudiger incident. They were called during the Giles incident, during which Sunny was actually the victim."

Unsurprisingly, Remus had an even less favorable reaction to the idea of his sister as a victim than he did to the idea of his sister as a Hogwarts dropout or an attempted murderer. Anxious and practically shaking, the teen snapped, "Either help me guess or shut your gobs!"

The gargoyle wobbled slightly but didn't spring out of the way.

"So..." James ventured, "Maybe... that means you said something close?"

Remus nodded thoughtfully, muttering, "Either me guess or shut your- Gobs! Gobstopper! _Gobstopper_, you overgrown paperweight!"

Though the stone gargoyle was generally incapable of doing anything but blocking and revealing the hidden entrance, this time it actually looked a bit offended when it leapt aside.

Sirius followed as Remus thundered up the moving spiral staircase, but the black-haired Animagus wasn't too concerned. After all, Mina had proven that she was more than capable of taking care of herself in just about any situation. Maybe that made him a bad boyfriend, but Sirius trusted Mina to do the majority of her own rescuing. And he had a lot of fun watching her do it, too. The lad resisted the urge to chuckle as he thought about Mina being in the same room as Lord Lestrange, Sirius's... uncle-in-law? The ridiculously uptight father of his psychotic cousin's vicious husband...

At the top of the stairs, Remus didn't bother with the brass griffin-head knocker before pushing through the polished oak door.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore sighed in greeting, "And the rest. I suppose I should've expected you."

"You should've _called_ for me," Remus argued, quite snottily considering who he was addressing (family friend, headmaster, guardian). The young man pushed aside several Ministry officials (including that dick Lestrange) and beelined for Mina.

Curled in a small ball in a very purple chair, the girl lifted her gaze from the floor. Only a slight puffiness around her fierce eyes gave away that she was feeling anything aside from absolute scorched-earth fury. "It was _her_, wasn't it?" Mina demanded, staring when her brother sat beside her. "It was her. Had to be... did you know?"

Confusion and concern crossed Remus's face as he gently kneaded the girl's rigid shoulders. "I don't even know what you're talking about, Mina," he said, softly, "What happened?"

Mina responded with laughter. Actually, Sirius wasn't sure if the sound could technically be classified as laughter. It was more like she was choking and shrieking at the same time and the result just happened to be quite similar to the most awful, demented laughter Sirius had ever heard.

Ok, so obviously he was a failure as a boyfriend because this was definitely cause for concern.

Remus wrapped the girl in his arms, petting her hair, rubbing her back, whispering soothing nonsense. Basically trying to form a human cocoon between his sister and the world. The vicious glance he gave Dumbledore was just short of homicidal.

"The blank memory," Mina declared, cackling bitterly, "Dunderhead and Dunderhead over there gave it to the Department of Mysteries, and turns out the damn thing isn't actually blank. It just happened to capture a little cursed spot in my brain. Classic, right?"

James shouted, and Peter shouted, and Sirius had the urge to shout, but instead the teen noticed that Remus _didn't_ shout.

In fact, Remus looked like he'd just been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

Tiny shrill giggles bubbling between random words, Mina continued, "Oh! And get... get this! Those... _these _blokes are... _Unspeakables_. And they've gotten... a nice _loooong_ look... at my medical file-"

"WHAT?!" hollered Remus. He paled several shades. "They can't! Not unless-" His jaw clamped down so fast and so hard that the lad probably lost the tip of his tongue. "Not unless our _guardian_ granted permission," he gritted between clenched teeth, back to looking at Dumbledore as if the man was some sort of vile infestation.

Entirely unapologetic, Dumbledore tented his long fingers and arched a silvery eyebrow. He, too, seemed to have noticed that Remus's reaction was not exactly as expected. "Curse damage can be a very serious affair," the headmaster murmured, "Of course I was eager to provide these gentlemen whatever they might need to understand the nature of the injury."

"Why was I in the hospital?" Mina asked, confused but slightly accusatory, "It says I was in the hospital in 1965, but I wasn't. You were, for that _month_, remember?"

_When you were bitten by a werewolf_ remained unsaid, but those initiated in the Lupin family secret heard the message loud and clear.

Heedless of the audience, Mina continued, "The file says I was a patient as well. Starting a week after you were released. But all the pages that weren't removed were blacked out. So it can't be true... right?"

Remus looked panicked, starting to sweat guiltily. He opened his mouth like he was going to respond but then didn't.

"She did something to me," Mina whispered. Her wildly fluctuating emotions took a sharp turn back to rage. "Our _mother_," the girl croaked, "She did something to me. What did she do, Moony?"

The room grew very quiet, the very air absorbing the anxiety of its inhabitants.

Eventually, Remus muttered, "I... I can't tell you, Sunny."

Mina gaped at him like he'd just grown an extra head.

"I _literally_ can't tell you," the sandy-haired werewolf added desperately, his mournful gaze begging his sister to believe him, to understand, "I swore an oath. I can't tell anyone."

"Am I correct in assuming that you swore this oath to your grandmother?" Dumbledore inquired. His normally twinkly blue eyes were calculating.

Remus nodded. "I was five," he murmured, "She said that Mina would be in danger if anyone found out. She said that the oath would keep Mina safe. I didn't think... I mean, I barely remembered it even happened until now..."

Struggling to comprehend what in the name of Merlin's fuzzy slippers was going on, Sirius fidgeted uncomfortably. He just knew this whole conversation would go a lot better if there weren't so many people in the room.

"Let's circle back to that," Mr. Potter suggested. He ran an old hand through his messy white hair, adding, "We have a few more immediate concerns to address."

Mina snickered against her brother's shoulder. She seemed tired. "Oh, no rush," the girl declared, "Apparently the secret brain damage has been around since I was a child, and I must say, it hasn't been too detrimental."

Chuckling brightly in an effort to diffuse some of the tension, James declared, "You're beating nearly all of us in nearly every subject. If that's what secret brain damage gets a person, then where do I sign up?"

Mrs. Potter had a sharp glance for her son; Mr. Potter, however, had a proud smirk.

"We need to talk about Calvin Giles," Moody spoke up. The grizzled auror stepped center-stage, commanding the attention of all interested parties with nothing but his tough, battle-hardened presence. "Giles was interrogated ten times before his death," Moody continued, "He always insisted that you were a seer but that he hadn't yet told anyone. Wanted to bring you to the Dark Lord himself, get back in the good graces."

Mina snorted, taunting, "Senility. So sad."

With a glare for the glib interruption, Moody went on, "We found him dead in his cell last night. Looked like natural causes, but the best assassinations usually do."

"He was murdered _inside_ the Ministry?" Peter squeaked. The boy flushed and stared at his feet when he realized all the focus he'd brought upon himself.

"Aye," Moody growled. This time it wasn't the interruption as much as the timidity that seemed to annoy the one-legged auror. "Someone took him out during the shift change. We have no idea if Giles passed on any information before he died. If he told his attacker about Mina being a seer-"

"I am _not_ a bloody seer!" the girl howled predictably.

Again, Moody glared her into silence. "Doesn't matter," he grunted, "I don't believe in that rubbish either, but it seems as though the Dark Lord does. And if he thinks he can use you, he won't hesitate."

Oh... Oh, hell...

Mina whined, a noise that wordlessly proclaimed _You have got to be fucking kidding me. What did I do to deserve this?... Wait, now I remember, and I regret nothing_. "The fortune-telling thing was just a harmless joke," she complained, turning her angry glare onto Dumbledore, "You should've sentenced me to a nice normal detention, but _nooooo_. Everybody's trying to teach me lessons these days."

"Well, maybe you'll actually learn one this time," Mr. Potter announced, half-teasing, half-scolding as he folded his long arms across his lean chest, "Because until we can track down the killer and find out what he knows, you're getting a protective detail."

Ah. So that was probably what Frank, Alice, and the Prewetts were doing there.

Remus nodded sagely, agreeing "Good idea" at the same moment Mina bellowed "No friggin way!"

"It's not up for discussion, dear," Mrs. Potter stated. She slid her small square glasses farther up her long nose. "Professor Lazarov has graciously agreed to begin her lessons on dueling a few weeks early so that Prewett, Prewett, Longbottom, and Newton will have a legitimate reason to be present at the school. They'll be trading off shifts keeping an eye on you."

With a comforting smile, Alice soothed, "You'll hardly know we're there, love."

"Unless you try breaking out of the castle grounds again," Frank scolded, "Then you're most definitely going to know we're there." The burly blonde didn't look particularly unhappy with the undoubtedly shitty assignment; he seemed to have developed a soft spot for the Marauders, Mina in particular.

Scandalized, McGonagall gasped, "Miss Lupin! You've been breaking out of the castle grounds?"

Mina glared. "No comment," she said.

"And you'd better stay out of the forest, too," growled Fabian, he and his brother standing restlessly near the open window and likely remembering the trauma they went through in those woods at the hands of Daisy and the MMF wards.

McGonagall turned an entirely unprecedented shade of maroon. "The _Forbidden Forest_?! Mina!"

Wrinkling her little nose at the tartan-clad teacher, Mina repeated, "No comment."

xxXxx

The facts, as James understood them, were these:

1. Mina was cursed as a child, most likely by her mother, and a large chunk of time shortly after Remus had been bitten (including a week-long hospital stay) was missing from the girl's memories.

2. Remus knew what happened but had been sworn to secrecy by their grandmother, reportedly because if anyone learned the details of the aforementioned incident, then Mina would be in a great deal of danger.

3. Because of a prank gone awry, the Dark Lord may or may not be convinced that Mina was a seer; if such a deranged megalomaniac did receive this information, then Mina would probably be kidnapped, tortured, and/or murdered.

Mulling over the data and trying to ignore a throbbing headache, James decided that the three facts were linked. It could be coincidence, but somehow the teen didn't think so. Grandmother Lupin had been so scared about the hospital incident that she'd bound a _five-year-old_ with a magical oath. That seemed like the sort of thing that would put Mina in danger, that a Dark Lord would find interesting.

And James didn't know how much he actually believed about the existence of seers; he certainly didn't put much stock in the nonsense of Divination as a subject, but he'd heard stories. Fairy tales and fables about evil forces coveting the power to gaze into the future, capturing and enslaving those who possessed it. Families doing anything to shelter and protect members who possessed such a gift.

The theory made sense, except for the part where Mina would vow to her last breath that psychic powers didn't even exist.

Miserable, the black-haired lad sat up and peered around his dark dormitory. Peter snored on like normal, but Remus dozed fitfully, guilty about keeping a secret from his twin for over ten years. He'd been so guilt-ridden that he hadn't said a word when Mina crawled into bed with Sirius.

There was nothing much to comment about, anyways; Sirius had just held the girl while she trembled. He was asleep now; Mina looked like she might be, motionless and silent.

But James didn't think she was. He padded across the room and laid a gentle palm on her forehead.

Fathomless blue eyes opened immediately, fully alert and aware.

With what he hoped was a comforting smile, James whispered, "You alright?"

Mina nodded minutely, barely moving her head from its spot on Sirius's chest.

"It's ok if you're not."

She glowered.

And again, James just smiled. "I'm going down to the common room for a bit," he murmured, "Let me know if you need me."

Another nod, a hint of an affectionate smirk, and Mina closed her eyes, apparently content to pretend that she enjoyed just as much REM as anyone else.

James didn't feel too terrible about lying. He did go down to the common room for a bit, for the time it took to scan the Map and then exit out the portrait hole. After a few steps through the dim hallway, he turned into a dark alcove and called, "Frank? C'mon, Frank. I know you're here."

The tall blonde appeared, both irritated and impressed. "Well," he began, "I'm out at this unholy hour because I drew the short straw. What's your excuse?"

Swallowing hard, hardly believing what he was about to do, James replied, "Mina is never going to cooperate with a protective detail."

Frank chuckled and quipped, "I figured as much." He yawned, stretching his beefy arms overhead before adding, "Doesn't matter though. We're her shadows until we're told otherwise."

"Which means she's going to bolt constantly," James replied, tugging fretfully at his already chaotic hair, "She's in shock right now, but give her a day and a half and she'll probably be running errands in London just to spite you."

The brawny but strangely baby-faced blonde auror carefully regarded James and his words. Finally, Frank declared, "And you're smart enough to know how stupid that is."

"I don't want her getting hurt again," he answered. Mina would call him a traitor if she found out, but James didn't care; as long as she was safe, he didn't care at all.

She was forgiving. Barely anyone knew or would guess, but she was. She was so strangely forgiving that, when she avoided you after a row, it was only because she wanted to avoid immediately forgiving you for whatever idiotic thing you'd done.

"I assume your system at night is going to be for someone to follow her up to the Tower and guard the entrance until morning," the lad declared, "The only way that works is if you charm all the windows to keep her inside."

Frank's eyebrows vaulted briefly in surprise. "She's been going out the windows?" the former Gryffindor gaped, "It's seven bloody stories at the least!"

Shrugging, James continued, "Won't be a problem if you put up the charms. Better be good ones, too. Mina's been reading how to break them." _In case Remus ever tries to ward us out of the Shack again_...

Frank nodded.

"Don't let her get within ten yards of the forest," James added, "You'll blink, and she'll vanish..." _She'll turn wolf. She'll sooner maul you than let you cage her_. "I suppose you were warned about the Herbology project?"

The twenty-year-old auror smirked, stating, "Just to stay the hell away from it. The Prewetts are still traumatized. They took a sick leave and locked themselves in their sister's attic."

James shrugged again but reported, "Well, it really is that bad, so don't follow her if she does manage to escape into the forest. She'll probably herd you straight into it. Just come find me or Sirius. We'll get her out." _We'll use our Animagus forms to track her Animagus form_. "There are two passages that go from the castle to Hogsmeade," he continued, before he came to his senses, "One on the third floor, inside the statue of the humpbacked witch, and one on the fourth floor, behind the mirror. You'll want to charm those as well."

Frank's brown eyes were wide. "Do you have any idea how dangerous-"

"Look, mate," James interrupted, scowling, "I'm trusting you here. If the first thing you do is run and tattle on us, then you can forget about my help. I'll sit back and laugh while Mina makes fools of you all."

Though he still clearly wasn't pleased, Frank leaned against the wall and heaved a great sigh. He made a _continue_ motion with one enormous hand.

James stated, "The passages looked like they'd been unused for centuries when we first found them, and as far as I know, no one we haven't personally told knows they exist. So your only concern should be keeping Mina out of them for the time being." He felt the slight weight of the Map in his pocket. "Hopefully I've given you enough to at least keep up with her. If not... well, let's see how the next few days go."

It would be high treason to hand over the Marauder's Map. But, again, James didn't care.

He knew there were Death Eaters inside the castle just as surely as there were Death Eaters in the world outside. If Voldemort suddenly decided that he wanted Mina abducted from the Great Hall during breakfast, then there were at least a half dozen Slytherins who would rush to oblige.

And if the aurors had the Map, then at least they'd have a better chance of finding her before she was gone forever.

But that was premature. No one even knew if there was anything to know, let alone if Voldemort had found out.

Though if he hadn't already, with the way the Ministry leaked like a sieve, it was only a matter of time...

James felt ill. "She'll make her classes," he muttered, carefully analyzing his friend's behavioral patterns, "And quidditch practice. That's all I can guarantee. If you lose her in between, cut her off at the next one... can you do this, Frank?"

Frank glared like his mother had been personally insulted. "We've been trained to track and detain dark wizards," he drawled, "We'll manage babysitting one pigheaded teenage girl."

The argument sounded quite reasonable. But James knew Mina...

"I hope so," he whispered.

xxXxx

"RENZ!" Mina called, grinning and running to meet the gawky teenage centaur when he and his mother approached the castle.

Firenze smiled with an equal mix of surprise and affection. There was only a hint of embarrassment as he allowed himself to be hugged quite thoroughly. "Hello, Mina," he greeted. He wore his peachy blonde hair gathered messily at his nape but had added a handful of small scattered braids, each one finished with a tiny, likely hand-carved wooden bead.

"Long time no see, Ponyboy," Mina joked. She tried not to let her irritation at the fact that Alice was watching from somewhere nearby corrupt the excitement the girl felt at being reunited with her friend. "How's life with four legs?"

Chuckling shyly, ignoring his mother's scandalized snort, Firenze replied, "Twice as interesting, I'd imagine, as life with two."

Mina laughed, long and loud. Oh, Merlin. She taught a centaur how to tell jokes. The world might be fundamentally altered. "Good answer," she chuckled.

By that time, the rest of the Marauders and Mary had caught up. There was a round of polite introductions to Elda (who'd apparently been talked into wearing a thin sleeveless shirt now that she was going to be the Divination professor). The statuesque female had woven her own deeply bronze hair into a complicated plait that hung down the entire length of her strong back. Her similarly colored legs stamped impatiently.

"Did you already see Hagrid?" Mina asked, bouncing eagerly, "He got a new puppy!"

Firenze had grown in the months since she'd seem him. He was still shorter than his mother but catching up; his skinny chest showed a bit more width and definition, his face a bit more wisdom. He'd just seen his eighteenth summer. "Mother," he inquired, with appropriate deference, "May I say hello to Hagrid while you greet the Headmaster?"

Elda didn't bother answering. She simply trotted up the school steps and left her son to follow or not on his own accord.

Sighing, Firenze quietly reported, "She is angry with me. She thinks I should have remained in the forest."

"And yet here you are," Mina chirped, "Nice going. Now, let's hurry up and leave before-"

"Firenze!"

Mina grumbled obscenities under her breath. Then she got the idea to teach a centaur to swear next, and that thought made her slightly less annoyed when Evans sauntered closer.

The redhead breezed past everyone else, only addressing the smiling centaur as she said, "Oh, it's so good to see you! I didn't know if you'd be coming!"

"Me either," he stated, smiling shyly, "But it's good to see you as well. We are going to Hagrid's-"

"I'm sure Ginger is busy," Mina taunted, "Innocent people to slap, nonsense to cry over."

Evans glared. "Actually," she reported, "I would love to visit Hagrid. Some _kind_, _rational _conversation would be a refreshing change."

Growling, ready to shred the obnoxious prefect, Mina found herself suddenly distracted by the arrival of a bouncy little black-haired sprite.

"Wow," Tia gasped, jaw practically scraping the grass as she gazed up at Firenze.

James chuckled. He nudged the girl forward and declared, "Firenze, this is Tia Jones. She's a first-year in our House. Tia, this is Firenze. He's a centaur."

Firenze offered a warm smile and swept into an elegant equine bow. "Very pleased to meet you," he said.

"Wow," the child repeated. Her wide blue eyes seemed like they would engulf the rest of her darling face.

Chuckling, Sirius ruffled the child's hair. "Want to come with us to see Hagrid, love?" he asked lightly, "Have you met Hagrid yet? I mean, he does the boats, but I don't think we've introduced you-"

"What's a mudblood?" Tia innocently inquired.

Evans gasped so hard that it had to be painful, while all the rest of them just vibrated with rage.

"Where did you hear that word?" Mina demanded.

With a slightly apprehensive pout, Tia replied, "Well, a boy said that I was a mudblood. I don't know what it means, but it didn't sound very nice-"

"It's _not_," James snarled.

Doing her absolute best to remain calm (at least until she found out where to focus her mounting wrath), Mina asked, "Who said it?"

"I don't know his name," Tia replied. The little girl suddenly seemed nervous, gaze down as she fiddled with the hem of her hand-me-down skirt. "He was older, a Slytherin-"

"Shocking," Peter grumbled under his breath.

Tia didn't seem to notice the interruption and continued, "And he was tall, with brown hair."

That actually narrowed down the suspect list quite a bit: weirdly, most Slytherins had either blonde or black hair. It was some kind of pure-blood pedigree thing. Mina offered her first guess about the identity of the soon-to-be-dead brunette: "Big bloke? Kinda looks like a rhinoceros in a bad wig?"

Chuckling uncomfortably, Tia agreed, "Well... ya. I suppose..."

"Montague," Mina hissed.

Seventh-year Slytherin beater. All-around first-class arsehole.

"I'm getting my SMD file," the girl ranted, spinning on her heel, everything else forgotten as she stormed in the direction of the Tower.

"NO!" James and Sirius shouted at once. Sirius grabbed her into an insistent bear hug, holding on tighter when she thrashed.

"SMD file?" Remus inquired, angry but now worriedly curious.

With a slightly apologetic glance at Evans, James explained, "It stands for... er... _Snivellus Must Die_. Apparently Mina has been writing down a few... ideas for dealing with Snape."

Evans looked fit to hex them all.

"Mina," Remus scolded sharply, "We've talked about this. You _have_ to leave Snape alone!"

Refusing to feel guilty over her brother's reprimand, Mina replied, "Why the hell do you think I've been _writing the ideas down_ instead of _enacting every single one as soon as I thought it_?" She kicked and fidgeted in Sirius's annoyingly strong embrace, unable to free herself without hurting her boyfriend. With a manic giggle, she added, "Although the file has been coming in handy quite often. First Corner, now Montague-"

"It's just a word!" Tia shouted.

Everyone stared at her in surprise.

Showing true Gryffindor spirit, the little girl adamantly declared, "It's just a word! I just wanted to know what it meant! Even if it is something bad, it's still just a word! You don't need to hurt anybody over a word!"

Mina spluttered. "Well..." she muttered petulantly, "Ya... but... he's such a _dick_."

Smugly, Tia argued, "Dick is a bad word."

"Oi!" James gasped, "Yes it is, and you're not allowed to use it!"

"But Mina is?" Tia taunted.

Sirius smirked. "Mina is a bit of a lost cause in the profanity department."

"Fucking right," she answered. Frowning down at Tia, she continued, "I didn't _really_ hurt Corner. Just treated the bastard to some well-deserved humiliation and psychological torture. I could easily do the same for Montague-"

"Lupin," Evans snarled, rubbing her temples, "Stop plotting in front of me. I am a prefect."

The group lapsed into silence for a moment. Finally, Tia asked, "Are you going to tell me what a mudblood is now?"

Wincing, Evans calmly explained, "It's a very nasty, vulgar term that prejudiced people use for muggle-borns. You should ignore them."

Mina gave a frustrated scream. But that probably was the best advice: as much as it pained her, Mina wasn't about to encourage a first-year who had only been aware of magic for a half-dozen weeks to go against a seventh-year who was known for brutality and dark interests. Of course, that was why Mina wanted to deal with Montague herself: just because Tia was physically incapable of fighting this fight didn't mean it shouldn't be fought.

Alice, who had been lurking somewhere out of sight, appeared in an instant. And though the slender blonde didn't immediately brandish her wand, she was clearly concealing it inside her long uniform sleeve. "What's wrong?" the auror demanded, shrewd eyes scanning the vicinity for threats, "What's with the screaming?"

"Nothing," Mina sighed.

Annoyed as she figured out the false alarm, Alice scolded, "Merlin's sake! Don't do that!"

Sirius chuckled, still cuddling his girlfriend against his chest. "Sorry, Newton," he teased, "But you might have to get used to a few random screams if you're going to be hanging around us."

Both Firenze and Evans seemed confused, but neither chose to comment.

xxXxx

Gideon took the Saturday overnight shift; Fabian dogged her heels all of Sunday; Frank was back for the Sunday overnight; Alice had the immense honor of guarding Mina throughout classes on Monday.

And, _fuck_, was it infuriating. Though the aurors were true to their word and Mina hardly ever actually _saw _them (at least the one who was currently shadowing her), she knew they were there. They appeared in seconds whenever she tried to put a toe out of line. Usual tricks to evade authority figures weren't working: the windows of the Tower had been charmed to keep her inside; the Hogsmeade passages seemed similarly blocked; James flat-out refused to let anyone near his cloak and seemed to have also hidden the Map. And Mina _hated_ it.

She also hated her brother keeping secrets from her, and her friends babying her, and the Unspeakables repeatedly offering to dissect her brain like they were doing Mina a favor. She hated watching Montague walk around with that self-righteous sneer on his obnoxious inbred face. She hated thinking of the fact that, somewhere, her pathetic mother was still drawing breath.

Defense was the last class of the day, and having to attend only contributed to Mina's foul mood. Duelling was bloody ridiculous. All that _bow to your opponent_ shit was worth less than nothing in a life-or-death situation and felt like a waste of time to learn. Mina didn't want to learn to duel; she wanted to learn to handle herself on a real battlefield because, like it or not, that's where all their lives were heading.

"Take your seats," Professor Lazarov greeted in her usual brusque and slightly eerie manner, "Ve are going to begin to discuss duelling, as vell as defensive spellvork. For the next two to three veeks-" _Ugh, that long?_ "-Ve vill be joined by several aurors from your Ministry to guest lecture and assist in practical demonstrations. Auror Longbottom has been gracious enough to visit today."

Frank stood awkwardly near the front of the classroom, a little off to the side, uniform crisp and stance at-attention. He nodded politely.

With a curt noise of barely disguised disgust, Lazarov continued, "I realize that your past instructors have been almost criminally inadeqvate in nearly all areas of this subject, so I vill be rather impressed if any student can tell me the core three spells used in duelling and vhy they are considered such."

Though Mina and Sirius had long since resumed their seats at the back of the room, they hadn't lessened their class participation. Mina raised her hand and, when she was called upon, smoothly answered, "_Protego_, _Expelliarmus_, and _Stupefy_, also known as the Shield Charm, the Disarming Spell, and the Stunning Spell. They're the core three because you can use them to protect yourself from attacks, eliminate your opponent's ability to attack, and incapacitate your opponent. Most other incantations a person might use are just variations on those themes."

Lazarov nodded, "Correct. Perhaps you vould like to assist in a demonstration, starting vith the first spell you listed."

It was not a request.

"Sure thing," Mina brightly agreed, strutting up to the front of the room, smirking wickedly at Longbottom, "But I'm not bowing."

Another noise of disgust from the professor. "Ve are not learning competition duelling!" she snapped, "Ve are learning survival techniques! Of course you do not _bow_!"

Godric's gonads, that was good news. And it once again proved that Lazarov was probably the best Defense professor they'd ever had.

So it was with a satisfied grin that Mina faced the burly blonde auror.

Frank looked bored. After a few moments' pause, he raised an eyebrow and said, "Well? Cast something already."

"What?" Mina replied, frowning, "No, you cast something."

"I'm demonstrating the Shield Charm," he argued, "I need something to deflect."

Rolling her eyes, Mina fired back, "Uh, no. _I'm_ demonstrating the Shield Charm."

A rare chuckle was heard from the vampire professor, her spindly arms folding across her slim chest. "Lupin," she stated, like she was addressing a rather dense toddler, "You misunderstand. I do not expect you to produce a Shield Charm. It is very advanced magic."

The girl fought down a growl. "You don't think I can?" she challenged.

Skeptical but intrigued, Lazarov smirked and quipped, "Can you?"

Aggravated, quite insulted yet again, Mina replied, "One way to find out."

And suddenly Frank looked intrigued as well. Without warning, he brandished his wand and shouted, "_Stupefy_."

"_Protego_," Mina answered, easily conjuring a barrier of glowing blue energy just in time to deflect the stunner.

In a comical turn of events, the spell happened to ricochet directly into Drip Fawcett's forehead.

The loud-mouth Hufflepuff collapsed unconscious to the floor.

Sirius did a very poor job concealing his laughter and lost their House ten points.

xxXxx

"Lupin," Lazarov called as class was ending, "Stay a moment."

Mina groaned but did as she was told, kissing Sirius when he promised to wait for her outside. Soon the room had emptied, and the girl approached her professor's desk. "I told you," Mina insisted, "I didn't mean to stun Drip. I'm unbelievably awesome, but even I can't control where spells go once they bounce off my Shield."

With an exasperated wave of a pale spidery hand, a slight snarl that pulled thin colorless lips away from gleaming white fangs, Lazarov replied, "Vas an unfortunate accident. I am sure Fawcett vill avaken in a few hours."

"No rush though," Mina chuckled. She rocked on her feet for several long seconds, gaze darting around the dim, sparsely decorated Defense room. Finally, the girl demanded, "So... then what did you want?"

The professor's dark eyes stayed unnervingly unreadable, uncomfortably fixed on Mina. It almost seemed like Lazarov was... sizing her up.

Impatient, the girl quipped, "I'm supposed to be at quidditch practice in fifteen minutes-"

"And after?" Lazarov inquired, almost smirking, "You are free?"

Suddenly feeling like she was about to be tricked into something heinous, Mina drawled, "Er... well... practice is from four to six, and then I usually desperately need to shower and eat-"

"Seven o'clock then?"

"For what?" Mina demanded. She was starting to get annoyed. "I thought we agreed the stunner thing was an accident."

Tall, skeletally thin, white as a corpse, the professor swept her long black hair off her shoulders and into a messy twist. She stripped off her unflattering teacher robes and revealed dark jeans and a plain orange tank top (sans bra, not that she seemed to really need one).

Mina watched the spectacle with a growing sense of discomfort. Finally, the young Animagus skeptically inquired, "Are you trying to seduce me?"

That broke Lazarov out of her creepy staring and speculative silence. Seeming rather insulted, the vampire snarled, "Don't be ridiculous, Lupin. The Headmaster has asked me to teach Occlumency to any students who I feel vould be capable of learning. You seem to have studied far beyond your years, so you may possess an aptitude for such a sophisticated form of magic."

Admittedly, learning Occlumency (the means by which a person could prevent mental attacks) was an invaluable skill—especially in light of recent attempts by Ministry personnel to poke around in Mina's brain. However, the girl remained wary. "Is this some sort of scheme to get a look at my memories?" she demanded crossly, "Did the Unspeakables put you up to this?"

Lazarov shook her head. "Albus suggested I vork with you," she declared, "He thought it vould possibly help you remember more of your past. But I refused. I did not think you vould succeed in such difficult lessons. Now I see that perhaps you _need _to be challenged in this vay... if you are... how they say... _up for it_?"

The bait was so obvious, and Mina felt silly that such a slight implication she _couldn't _do something had her ready to do just about anything to prove she fucking well _could_. "Seven o'clock," the girl growled, frustrated with herself, annoyed with her professor. She stalked off toward the exit, muttering, "I'll show you bloody _up for it_."

xxXxx

Over the years, Lily had become quite adept at ignoring the Marauders. Not all the time, of course; they were far too atrociously ill-behaved to ignore entirely, and Lily _was _a prefect. However, for the most part, she could easily tune out the majority of their more innocuous bouts of idiocy.

But they'd been unnervingly quiet for the last several days, and the redhead found that that was almost _worse_. The most mischief they'd caused was sticking all the windows of the Tower shut. Which actually seemed beneath them, like something they would've done during first or second year.

"Potter," Lily snapped.

The weary-looking teen remained sprawled bonelessly on the common room couch, barely cracking open one bright hazel eye as he sighed, "Yes, Evans? What can I do for you?"

Even though her cheeks flared with traitorous heat, Lily replied, "To start with, you can put on a shirt."

"I wasn't aware there was a rule against being shirtless in the common room," Potter answered. He smirked, a little sadly. "For the blokes at least. Although I suppose that is a bit of a double standard..."

Lily growled. She suspected that was the crass buffoon's completely unsubtle way of inviting her to take off her top. "Maybe you wouldn't need to lounge about in such an indecent state if the Tower wasn't as hot as a blasted sauna," the girl pointed out. Sweat prickled on her own forehead and made her clothes cling awkwardly.

Potter shrugged. "Probably true. But, unfortunately, the Tower is quite toasty this evening."

"I wonder why," Lily bit back, "Oh, perhaps it has something to do with nobody being able to open any of the windows!"

He didn't exactly look guilty. But he didn't look innocent either. Not that he ever truly looked innocent... "How odd," the young man murmured, stretching languidly and running his elegant fingers through his slightly damp mess of hair. His taut abs flexed as he shifted to get comfy and tucked his muscled arms behind his head.

Glaring, Lily hissed, "Cut the act! This is positively juvenile! Even for you!"

Potter remained placid. Almost resigned. Quietly, he replied, "I haven't done anything."

If she didn't know that he and his loathsome friends said the same bloody thing every time they were caught wreaking havoc, Lily almost would've believed the lad. "The windows," she snarled, "I know you're responsible! If this is some sort of moronic ploy to make me forgive you-"

"And how would cutting off your supply of fresh air accomplish that?" Potter challenged. He seemed amused but too exhausted to laugh. "I already apologized, Lily," he added softly, "Several times. If you don't want to accept my apologies, then that's your business. I have bigger things to worry about at the moment than coming up with stupid stunts to get your attention."

Lily suddenly became aware of the fact that she was gaping in astonishment. She shook herself sharply (hopefully before Potter noticed) and, sounding quite inexplicably petulant even to her own ears, argued, "It's never stopped you before..."

He shrugged. "You've been trying for years to get me to leave you alone," sighed Potter, "I'm just granting your wish."

There was another moment of bewildered staring before Lily started to feel guilty, before she found herself sitting primly on a nearby table and asking, "What's wrong?"

Blinking in confusion, Potter carefully stated, "You don't have to-"

"I don't like being shouted at," the girl declared, "Or having my friends call me names-"

"I didn't call you-"

"You called me a coward."

The young man furrowed his brow rather boyishly, seemingly replaying the conversation in his head. "I said that blindly following rules is cowardly," Potter murmured, "Which I stand by. But I'm sorry if it felt like I was attacking you."

"You're forgiven," Lily replied, "Now, really, what's wrong?"

Instead of answering, the black-haired teen allowed a slow grin to spread over his handsome face. "We're friends?" he asked hopefully.

"James," she barked, trying not to blush, "Focus!"

After only one more moment of smug happiness, his whole face crumpled into an expression of fatigue and anxiety. He cast a privacy spell around them before sitting up and hesitantly inquiring, "Has Mina ever said anything... weird right after she woke up? Something she didn't remember later?"

Lily frowned. "Well," she began, "Sort of. Remus didn't tell you what we talked about a few weeks ago?"

James shook his head.

"Mina's always had nightmares," the redhead explained quietly, "And I'm a light sleeper, so she usually wakes me up. Most of the time, she thrashes a bit and then wakes herself as well, but every once in a while, she... she mumbles and cries, and I end up having to shake her until she opens her eyes. She never remembers in the morning. I didn't think it was anything to be concerned about, but a few weeks ago, she had a dream that woke Mary, too. A very bad dream. Mary was scared, but Mina wouldn't listen to her about it. So we talked to Remus. He said he would talk to Mina."

"He hasn't," James said, frown deepening, "Not as far as I know... I mean, I'm sure Mina would've complained at some point if he had..."

A long, tense silence later, Lily inquired, "What's going on, James?"

He cracked his knuckles, thoughtful gaze boring a hole into the floor. "I'm not exactly sure," the slender teen drawled, "But maybe you can help me figure it out..."

xxXxx

"Dorky Fields," Mina greeted, surprised to find a handful of students milling about outside the Defense classroom, "You here for brain-block lessons as well?"

Snorting, rolling her dreamy brown eyes, Dorcas Meadowes responded, "I suppose. If that's what we're calling them."

Mina shrugged. She surveyed the other occupants of the hallway. Hufflepuff Samuel Abbott, a shy seventh-year prefect with nervous hands stuffed in his pockets. Another boy, a pale Ravenclaw probably no older than fourth year, with short straw-colored hair and bright freckles all over his shrewd little face. Mina didn't know the kid's name...

She did, however, know the name of the next person to round the corner and join the group with his trademark sneer:

Severus bloody Snape. Of fucking course.

For what felt like an hour, the two bitter adversaries simply glared, letting their mutual malice bleed into the atmosphere. Not even Dorcas's valiant attempts at distracting Mina with a quidditch debate lessened the palpable tension.

Finally, Professor Lazarov opened the classroom door, impatiently gesturing her students inside.

Of all the sights Mina expected to find, smoldering incense and a small circle of cushions was... well, actually, far tamer than some she'd imagined. Mina claimed the comfiest looking cushion and snickered as she watched Snape trying to fold his spindly legs into a manageable position.

"I picked you five because you seem exceptionally knowledgeable and eager to learn more than the standard curriculum offers," the professor began, slowly stalking the outside of the circle, "I am more than villing to ask you to leave if you prove me wrong. Now, to begin, our first several lessons vill include mostly discussions on the theory of Occlumency and meditation exercises to ready your minds. I expect you to practice these exercises regularly in your free time and become proficient at qvieting your thoughts. The next step vill be individual sessions, but only vhen I am satisfied vith your progress in these initial steps. Qvestions?"

Mina wanted to ask _what the bloody hell is Snivellus doing here?_ But she figured it might be the sort of remark that would get her asked to leave.

Tentatively, Dorcas raised her hand. After receiving a permissive nod, the slender girl inquired, "What kind of progress are you looking for? How will we know that we're doing it right?"

Lazarov offered a kind smirk. "I think," she replied, "That you vill have a better idea in a few hours. More qvestions? No? Good. Let's start vith meditation. Find a comfortable position, close your eyes, and _breathe_..."

xxXxx

"This feels familiar," Sirius commented, mostly just because he was too antsy to stay quiet. He bounced up and down on his mattress a few times and then stood for another few laps of the cluttered, crowded dorm.

James agreed with a bitter laugh. Peter followed his lead, forcing a smile.

But Mary and Evans just looked confused. "What do you mean?" Evans asked, still refusing to sit and glaring at the piles of dirty laundry like she suspected they were about to mount an attack.

"We figured out Remus's furry secret in third year," James explained quietly, "And cornered him in much the same way to tell him that the wolf was out of the bag."

Nodding as he recalled the tense evening, Sirius added, "I thought he was going to faint, but we had him spilling his guts in no time. Hopefully the same luck will be with us tonight."

Because, if anything, Remus owed them far more information than he had all those years ago. Concealing lycanthropy was understandable; technically, he wasn't even supposed to _be_ at Hogwarts. But whatever the sandy-haired werewolf was hiding about his sister... well, sure, he'd sworn an oath, but Sirius was no longer buying that _barely remembered it_ crap.

Mary and Evans had come to Remus with concerns about Mina's disturbing dreams, and he had politely reassured the girls and then done nothing. Both twins were downright compulsively protective of each other; Sirius had seen Remus physically restrain his sister just so that he could disinfect her paper cuts. The only way he could let something like violent night terrors go unaddressed was if he already knew something more about the situation.

And surprisingly, Mr. James "Divination is a Scam" Potter had put forth a theory that included the phrase _prophetic dreams_. Sirius remained skeptical but had to admit that a lot of it fit: seers were a commodity, something a power-hungry sociopath would likely kill to gain control over, something a loving family would do just about anything to protect.

Including, presumably, bind a five-year-old with a magical oath and hide the ability from the seer herself.

Arms full of books, Remus stepped through the door and hardly had time to blink in surprise before Evans slammed, locked, and charmed it behind him. "What..." the lad drawled, backing futilely away from the blatant ambush. "What's going on?"

"Sit down, Moony," James declared, conjuring a chair and using it to sweep Remus's legs out from under him. The black-haired boy offered a somewhat soothing smile. "We need to have a discussion."

Remus squirmed. He insisted, "This isn't a good time. I have another foot-and-a-half to write for Charms, and-"

"You said you were going to talk to Mina about her nightmares," Mary interrupted, frowning and looking quite betrayed, "We know you didn't, and we want to know why."

Huffing, obviously doing his best to hide his growing annoyance, Remus answered, "Because there's nothing to talk about! I'm happy she sleeps at all! If I get her all worked up about some silly dreams, she might end up... well, you saw her the last time she decided she didn't need to sleep!"

It was a decent argument. But... well, Remus wasn't as skilled a liar as his sister was; actually, he could be at times, but he had a bit more of a conscience. If he felt guilty about something, he sweated and his eyes went all shifty. Like they were starting to do at that moment.

"There's more to it, isn't there?" Sirius asked softly. He continued to pace, dread gnawing at his stomach. "Moony. Mate. We know you want to protect her. We know you swore an oath. But... you don't think she deserves to know? You don't think she's going to find out? Even if the Occlumency lessons don't bring any memories forward-"

"Occlumency lessons?" Remus gasped, expression rapidly shifting from annoyance past confusion and into panic.

Scrubbing a restless hand through his hopeless hair, James grumbled, "Right, we missed you at dinner. Lazarov invited Mina to Occlumency lessons. She's there now."

"No." The werewolf was three shades past parchment pale. "No! She can't! This isn't- this isn't some fucking joke! If _anyone_ discovers- if they figure it out-" Hyperventilating, he shoved his head between his knees and seemed to be trying to keep himself from being sick.

Mary and Evans rushed to his either side, rubbing his trembling shoulders and murmuring soft words of comfort.

The only intelligible remark they got from Remus for nearly an hour was, "You don't _understand_!"

xxXxx

Mina and Dorcas shared a joint on the way back to the Tower, the scrawny Ravenclaw following silently just a few steps behind, one of the aurors (Gideon, if the rotation was the same) unseen but still likely close by and keeping up with his stalking duties.

"That was... interesting," Dorcas commented, describing the inaugural Occlumency lesson, "Far less strenuous than I imagined."

Mina rolled her eyes. "That's because all we did was meditate and talk. There was no actual Occlumency involved." She took a long drag and let the smoke ooze out of her lungs before adding, "Galleon says Abbott isn't in the next class."

Chuckling, Dorcas agreed, "Well, he _did_ fall asleep, the poor dear..."

They continued on with only low, unimportant murmurs of conversation. Several times, Mina glanced over her shoulder. She was actually just scanning for evidence of her annoying shadow (because she was curious how he was going to follow her now that they were on the stairs, which provided little cover now that there were no crowds), but instead the girl kept catching the Ravenclaw bloke staring at her and Dorcas's arses.

Which was irritating. But, as the small group reached the fourth floor, it also gave Mina a brilliant idea. "Need the loo," she announced, tugging Dorcas's arm to make the dreamy-eyed blonde go with. The tagalong Ravenclaw followed on his own.

Outside the nearest toilet, Mina addressed the straw-haired lad thusly: "We'll walk you the rest of the way up if you want, Marty, but you'll have to wait out here for now."

The boy's ears turned bright red. Indignantly, he hissed, "It's _Barty_." But he showed no sign of storming off in a huff, so Mina wasn't too concerned.

She followed her roommate into the dark lavatory and smiled. "Mind doing me a favor, Dorky?" Mina asked.

Leaning close to a snoring mirror and deftly smudging away a stray fleck of eyeliner, Dorcas replied, "Depends what it is."

"Nothing too strenuous," Mina chuckled, "Just trade uniforms with me."

Dorcas snorted. "Why on earth would I do that?"

"Because..." _I want to trick the auror who's stalking me into stalking you so that I can escape for a much needed romp through the forest_. "Someone's been following me. I think it would be quite hilarious to give him a fright. If we swap uniforms and do a few glamours, I think he'll keep following you while I circle back and get the drop on him."

With a small laugh, Dorcas shrugged, took another long puff of the joint, and stated, "Alright. Sure. I suppose that could be kind of amusing."

They stripped and redressed with the immodesty of two girls who'd shared a dorm since before puberty. A few wand flicks later, they had swapped hair styles, Mina wearing Dorcas's light blonde ponytail and Dorcas wearing Mina's riot of sandy waves. Dorcas was reluctant to relinquish her stacks of loud bangles, but Mina promised to take very good care of them. (Although, personally, she couldn't stand how they weighed down her wrists.) And, anyways, Dorcas was mollified somewhat when her perky A-cups swelled to bouncy Cs. (Mina felt strangely off-balance when her own admittedly ridiculous jugs deflated proportionately.)

The scrawny Ravenclaw (Barty, apparently) didn't seem to realize that anything had changed. Whether he failed to notice the switch because Mina and Dorcas were about the same height and both quite good at Transfiguration, because the hallway was rather dark, or because his gaze stayed glued to their chests and backsides was a mystery for another time.

When they reached the seventh floor, Dorcas (doing her best to imitate Mina's boisterous swagger) split off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, and Mina (doing her best to imitate Dorcas's graceful, unhurried stroll) motioned Barty in the opposite direction.

He turned red but complied. They barely even made it around one corner before the slim boy began complaining that Mina Lupin was being ridiculous and that he really didn't need an escort back to Ravenclaw Tower, that he was actually a fifth-year, thanks very much, and it wasn't necessary to treat him like a helpless child. He then went on to discuss, at length, the topic of his own brilliance, the fact that he was the top of every class and that he was planning on taking all the OWLs, even the ones for the subjects he wasn't enrolled in.

Laughing, Mina fiddled with the borrowed skirt, which was quite odd to wear. She really missed her trousers. "That's fascinating, Marty," the girl declared, after what felt like a long enough interval. She paused near a window and waited to see if the ruse had worked.

Startled, Barty finally got around to looking up at Mina's face. "You... you're not..." he stammered, looking around nervously for signs that he was about to be the victim of an elaborate prank.

"Don't be too disappointed," teased Mina. She swung open the heavy panes of glass and breathed in a welcome lungful of fresh night air. The smoke break and costume changes had probably taken them well past curfew, so the castle was peaceful and quiet. Turning to smirk at the freckled Ravenclaw, Mina added, "I'm sure you'll get plenty of other opportunities to chat up Dorcas. In fact, if you keep your mouth shut, I might even put in a good word."

He blushed again, insisting, "I wasn't- what- that's not-" But then, after a moment, the scrawny bloke hopefully asked, "Really?"

"No," Mina cackled. Gideon hadn't tackled, scolded, or otherwise accosted her yet, so the girl felt safe casting mid-strength Sticking Charms on her hands and feet and climbing out the window. Before she began to scale down the castle wall, she added, "But I won't tell her you tried to flash me."

Barty squeaked, probably more mortified than he'd ever been in his entire life. "I did _not_-"

Mina didn't bother staying for the indignant protest. She had some freedom to enjoy.

xxxxxxxxxx

I am minutes back from the beach and still dedicated to providing this update. However, that means that I haven't give it my final read-through. Anyone who spots any type of errors (grammar, continuity, etc) should let me know so that I can correct them as soon as I wake (probably around noon tomorrow).

I also welcome any questions or concerns about the plot. I do have a plan but would love input.

Anyways. Exhaustion is yanking me towards my pillows. Night, all. I hope to wake to reviews aplenty :)


	34. Jarvey Appreciation Day

Part 34 – Jarvey Appreciation Day

As soon as the Marauders stepped out of the Tower, Fabian Prewett clasped an enormous hand around Remus's thin shoulder, shook the lad harshly, and demanded, "Where's your bloody sister?"

Remus didn't as much as flinch at the rough treatment. He did, however, sigh, "Lost her already, have you?"

Not the least bit amused, Fabian growled, "Gid swears up and down he saw her into the Tower last night. None of the wards were broken-"

"About those," James interrupted, "Can you maybe switch to something that doesn't seal all the windows shut? It's hot as Hades in there, and cooling charms aren't doing much good."

Fabian ignored the climate-control complaints, continuing, "This is not my fault! Fucking Gid must've dozed off! I've only been here an hour and a half, and I haven't taken my eyes off the damn portrait!"

There was a scandalized _humph!_ from the Fat Lady, who apparently was not fond of being described in such a manner.

Dorcas Meadowes stepped through a moment later. She frowned at the assembled Marauders. "Where's your bloody sister?" she demanded of Remus, who probably would've laughed a lot harder had he not spent most of the night hyperventilating and dodging questions about his twin's secret past and possible psychic powers.

"Uh..." Sirius drawled, scrambling to come up with a suitable cover story, "You just missed her."

The girl scowled, her light blonde hair still slightly damp but pulled into a functional ponytail. She stomped off toward breakfast without another word. Presumably, Dorcas was trying to catch up with Mina.

Well, who wasn't?

Fortunately, no matter where she went or what she did, their wayward Marauderette nearly always had the good sense to return to the castle in time for breakfast, and that day was no exception. Sirius caught sight of her toward the middle of the Gryffindor table, facing outward and munching on an apple. She wore muggle clothing—a perfectly snug jumper and jeans combination—and had a few shopping bags piled near her feet.

Sirius sat beside her, kissing her cheek and receiving only a wide smile as acknowledgment. She wasn't taking her eyes off the Slytherin table...

"_Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?_"

"_Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality_."

This behavior made perfect sense just a moment later when the entire Slytherin House burst into a surprisingly good _a cappella_ rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody," with Jerome Montague up on the table prancing on his tiptoes like a ballerina.

"_I see a little silhouetto of a man_."

"_Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?_"

Sirius was sure he was going to give himself a hernia if he didn't stop laughing so hard, but stopping was a lot easier said than done. He didn't know what was funnier, the Slytherins' burly seventh-year beater (who Mina liked to describe as "a rhinoceros in a bad wig") performing pirouettes, arabesques, and the occasional leap (usually landing with at least one foot in a platter of breakfast food) or his housemates harmonizing in sync, occasionally popping straight up out of their seats for momentary solos of the muggle song. Who knew Snivellus could hit such a high note?

"_So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?_"

"_So you think you can love me and leave me to die?_"

"That..." he gasped, when the song and thunderous applause finally died down and the irate snakes ignored many impressed requests for an encore in favor of trying to identify the culprit. "That was... a _masterpiece_."

Mina grinned. She twisted and swung both slender legs around so that she was finally facing the table. "It certainly lived up to my vision," the girl declared. At noticing her stunned roommate standing nearby, she picked up and offered one of the shopping bags. "Hey, Dorky. Here's your stuff. Sorry I didn't get it back to you right away, but I ended up a bit... sidetracked. Anyways, there's new bracelet in there to thank you for the assist, and for being such a good sport about it."

Previous annoyance evaporating in the favor of surprise, confusion, and just a hint of grudging admiration, Dorcas accepted the bag and hesitantly replied, "Er... you're welcome?"

"Miss Lupin!" McGonagall shouted, suddenly hovering over them with a look of displeasure on her weathered face.

Mina returned a charming grin. "Yes, Professor?"

Rather than accuse the girl of her rather obvious hand in the morning's entertainment, McGonagall quipped, "I trust you have a good reason for being out of uniform."

"Oh, well, I don't have class until after lunch," Mina explained, "I was hoping to spend my free period outdoors, and I didn't want to risk ruining any of my school clothes."

Perfectly logical, somewhat harmless, and rather difficult to disprove: the perfect excuse. Sirius tried not to smirk too noticeably, proud of his devious love. He only wished he wouldn't be stuck in Divination all morning so that he could join her (and presumably James) on the outdoor adventure.

Merlin knows he would've liked to join her on whatever adventure she went on the night before, but he couldn't begrudge her a chance to escape the protective detail; they'd had her in a weird mood, alternately angry and depressed, then oddly cheerful as if she was trying to overcompensate for the other two extremes, all the while ignoring the fact that she'd been cursed and brain damaged, that her brother was incapable of filling the blanks in her memory.

McGonagall wasn't buying the defense, but her understandable suspicions still had no concrete merit. Instead, the prim Scot turned slightly to address the startled auror standing near the table. "And Mr. Prewett," she drawled, "I wasn't aware we'd be seeing you this morning."

Fabian winced guiltily as he interpreted the real meaning of the statement: _Aren't you supposed to be watching this crazy child?_ "Gid's getting a few hours sleep before he helps out in the Defense classes today," the redhead explained, "And I... guess I decided to hang out with our _favorite_ band of delinquents."

"Aw," Mina giggled, "Prewett, you old softie."

After a huff and a snort, the professor was gone, leaving Fabian to shove his way into the seat opposite Mina. Glowering, ignoring James's shouts of protest, the auror growled, "Where were you?"

Mina beamed. "Out." She turned around and grabbed another shopping bag, announcing, "Got you a present."

A chintzy plastic lighter sailed through the air and into Fabian's hand. The redhead frowned darkly at the logo that proclaimed the item to be a souvenir from Edinburgh. "So," Fabian drawled, "Not a present as much as an opportunity to brag."

Cackling, Mina passed out presents for the rest of them as well: a book for Remus, a motorcycle part for Sirius, a bag of sweets for Pete, a pair of earrings for Mary, an odd medallion for James.

"I visited the sisters," Mina said, meaning the two nuns who had helped her over the summer; she'd written them through the muggle post a few times since coming home, and Sirius recalled that their convent was located in Edinburgh, near the magical shopping district affectionately known as Camelot. Flooing there from Hogsmeade had probably been laughably easy. "They made me pick one to take," she went on, "It's lucky or something. Something to do with Catholic saints. I don't know. I had a feeling you might like it."

James inspected the silver-colored medallion suspiciously for a few more moments before slipping the thin chain over his head and tucking the little token under his shirt. "Thanks, Sunny," he sighed.

xxXxx

His mind was at war with itself, his desire to protect Mina and his desire to remain loyal to her and the rest of their friends doing fierce battle.

Handing over the Map... he was considering handing over the Map. This was far more serious consideration than his earlier thoughts on the subject. But that was before Mina had plotted her daring jail break.

He just wanted her to stay where she was safest, at least until they had a better idea of what, if anything, was after her. What, if anything, was going on in her own mysterious mind. Was that really so much to ask?

"Prongs!" the girl shouted, scowling a bit in annoyance as she jostled his shoulder, "Are you listening to me?"

James sighed heavily and shook his head. "Sorry. What?"

Rolling her eyes, Mina replied, "I said we should go find Firenze. He's probably bored while his mother is teaching classes."

"Actually," the bespectacled young man argued, "I thought we could go sit under the beech tree for a while. Y'know... talk."

Mina gave him a look laced with fond frustration. "Prongs," she complained, "You're not going to nag, are you?"

Starting to reach the limit of his patience, James argued, "Not nag. Merely express legitimate concerns about your stubborn insistence on putting yourself in needless danger."

"Bloody hell," she laughed, "You sound like Moony." Still, she let herself be steered into the shade of the massive tree.

They lay side by side for a few minutes, silently sprawled in the grass, breathing in the cool October breeze and gazing up at the dappled sunlight coming through the dense canopy. James tried several times to properly phrase his next comment, but no words seemed adequate.

Finally, Mina grew impatient and insisted, "Can we go find Renz now? Not that this hasn't been relaxing, but I'm getting chilly-"

"I don't want you to die." It wasn't the first time James had expressed this desire. He doubted it would be the last. But the lad still held out hope that maybe, just maybe his almost-sister might finally see some sense. That she might finally realize reasonable measures to ensure her safety weren't such a terrible infringement on her precious freedom.

She smiled softly. "I don't plan on dying, at least not during this century," the girl replied, "And I'll certainly battle to my last breath before giving anyone the satisfaction of killing me. Stop worrying. I highly doubt the Dark Lord is after me, and even if he is, he'd definitely look here before a convent in Edinburgh. I was probably safer last night than I am right now. Even with the BIG GINGER LUMOX-" (she said that part louder for the benefit of her unseen protector) "-following me around like some silly stalker."

That... did not make James feel much better. He sighed, going limp as Mina stood and attempted to haul him to his feet.

"Let's _go_, you daft twit," she demanded, laughing but rapidly reaching the point when she wouldn't be any longer. Already the girl's playful roughhousing threatened to lose him an arm and was probably putting grass-stains all over his back.

Thankfully, a shout that sounded like the very centaur she wanted to see distracted Mina from the harassment and left James to his own devices for a precious few moments. He really did his best to take his friend's advice and _stop worrying_, but... well...

He stood and brushed off and decided that in order to _stop worrying_ he might have to play a little prank. With practiced ease, James jumped and grabbed the lowest branch and hauled himself into the tree. He found a familiar spot that offered the best camouflage and waited for his opportunity to jump down and scare the girl.

A flicker of strange movement in the leaves right in front of him was all the warning he received before something struck him directly in the chest.

xxXxx

James certainly wasn't the first, only, or last Marauder to fall out of the beech tree; the bespectacled chaser was, however, the first, only, and last to fall out of the beech tree because he was being attacked by a boomslang.

Of course, Mina didn't realize right away that's what was happening. In the middle of a conversation, she noticed Firenze's sharp gaze dart over her shoulder, and the girl turned just in time to see James tumbling arse over elbows through the leaves, cracking his head against a branch, and hitting the ground with a _thud_.

Then he screamed like a little girl and hurled what looked like a long piece of thin green tubing as far as he could.

The first thing Mina did after sprinting to her friend's side and confirming that (other than a nice goose egg on his forehead) he seemed mostly alright was investigate the tubing. Which was not tubing but a snake. She apprehended the escaping serpent with a leash spell. From the bright green coloration and black striped markings, she was able to almost immediately identify the creature as a male boomslang: a venomous tree snake whose skin was often used as a potion ingredient, most notably in Polyjuice.

Of course, none of that information explained what the hell a cold-blooded reptile native to sub-Saharan Africa was doing in a beech tree in Northern Scotland.

"Did it bite you?" Mina demanded, worried but not panicked. Boomslang venom was nasty but rather slow-acting.

Wheezing and apparently still trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him when gravity roughly prevailed, James didn't answer.

Fabian appeared a moment later and conjured a terrarium to store the incongruous snake.

"Prongs," she scolded, doing several hurried head-to-toe visual inspections, "It's poisonous. _Did it bite you_?"

Dirty and scratched, obviously sore, the lad gasped pitifully and managed to shake his head.

"Are you sure?" Mina pressed. She couldn't see any blood or puncture marks, but that didn't necessarily mean the injury wasn't present. "Hemotoxin, Prongs," the girl threatened, "You will bleed to death from every orifice."

"C-Charming way t-to go," he panted.

Mina rolled her eyes, and, rather than continue to argue with the likely concussed and possibly poisoned lad, she conjured a stretcher.

But James was apparently set on being as difficult as possible and fought blearily against remaining horizontal. "M'fine," he slurred. He tried to sit up and found himself appropriately restrained.

The small contingent of witch, auror, centaur, snake, and dazed prat made their way to the Hospital Wing. After Mina explained what had happened, Madame Mary got to work right away with the diagnostic spells.

Aside from a concussion, the spells revealed a small amount of boomslang poison in James's system. Madame Mary didn't think it would've been fatal but certainly unpleasant without the intervention of a blood-purifying potion. She also summoned Slughorn so that he could brew some specific anti-venom, just to be on the safe side.

While they waited for the Potions Master, the nurse searched James for the source of the bite, which he was still insisting he didn't have.

And he turned out to be right: when James removed his shirt, Mina couldn't help gasping at the sight of the medallion she'd given him because it was dripping a substance that looked suspiciously like boomslang venom.

James stared down at himself, fascinated by the clear liquid, which seemed to have unfortunately trickled into one of many small scratches that had resulted from the tumble through the tree branches. He gaped up at his friend and, awed, stated, "The necklace stopped the snake from biting me. Sunny, how did you know?"

She felt her face turning red, anger and confusion and fear vying for space in her thoughts. "I didn't!" the girl insisted, "Fuck's sake! It... it was a lucky coincidence!"

Rubbing his head, James sighed, "Mina, love, you gave this thing to me less than an hour ago, and it just saved me from a serious snake bite. You said yourself you had a _feeling I might like it_. Well, I bloody love it because it kept a pair of fangs out of me!"

"That doesn't mean I can see the future!" Mina responded. She was getting really fed up with this psychic nonsense, especially now that her friends were jumping on the bandwagon. "That's completely absurd! The sisters are the ones who insisted I take a necklace! I just picked the least ugly one, and I only gave it to you because I couldn't think of another present!"

Madame Mary sternly scolded, "Miss Lupin, I'll not have you shouting in my infirmary."

That was when Slughorn dragged his fat arse into the room, puffing and jiggling as he performed what was probably the best "run" he could manage. "What's the meaning of this?" he demanded, "What's the emergency?... Gustav? What are you doing with Gustav?"

After a brief moment of confusion as the group struggled to figure out what the professor was babbling about, Mina snarled, "You mean the snake? It's _your_ snake?"

Indignant, unaware that he'd just made a huge tactical error, Slughorn responded, "Lupin, if I find out you've broken into my personal quarters-"

"You've been keeping a class-3 dangerous creature in your personal quarters?" Fabian challenged, voice low and threatening, "In a school full of young children? I assume you have an appropriate creature-handling license and the necessary permits? I believe both an exotic species permit and a poisonous species permit would be required."

Slughorn turned purple, blustering, "Well... yes... yes, of course. I mean... I have the papers... but that can't possibly be the emergency. We should... we should handle such technicalities at a later time." Obviously, he hoped such a time would be much, _much_ later. Possibly never.

Fabian looked fit to throttle the tub of goo. "Oh, believe me," the redhead drawled, "We certainly will. Madame Mary needs you to milk the snake and brew an anti-venom, and then I'll accompany you to fetch those papers. Given the fact that your little _pet_ escaped and attacked a student under your care, an inspection of its accommodations is also in order."

The purple coloring of Slughorn's face drained to ashen white and then sickly green. He nervously eyed the coiled boomslang in its secure tank.

"What's the matter, Professor?" Mina taunted, fully prepared to make the man who'd endangered her friend's life suffer proportionally, "Anyone with a class-3 creature-handling license should be able to milk a snake. It's a requirement, right? Since all creatures with poisonous bites or stings are considered _at least_ class-3?"

"I-I-" the bloated walrus stammered, "Well of course I can milk a snake... I merely... don't have the steady hands I did in my youth. Perhaps Professor Kettleburn-"

Mina interrupted with a mocking snort. She snapped, "Kettleburn has a grand total of six fingers left. His hands aren't any steadier than yours, and yours are already here! Stop wasting time!"

Still, Slughorn made no effort to step even marginally closer to his own stupid pet. Bloody idiot must've only been taking the shed skins, which were less potent but still usable and conveniently renewable; very few recipes called for venom, and he was apparently too squeamish to do his own harvesting. He began arguing heatedly with Fabian and Madame Mary, and even Firenze commented quietly on how ridiculous the man was being.

Mina would've joined, but James's welfare was far more important than screaming at Slughorn (which she fully planned to do very soon, at great length and volume). While everyone else was busy, she marched over to the boomslang.

Gustav peered up at her with large black eyes, forked tongue languidly scenting the air.

After casting a spell to keep the animal as docile as possible, Mina reached into the terrarium and grabbed the snake right behind its relatively small head. She let the creature wrap its slender body around her forearm and removed it from the tank.

"Mina!" Fabian gasped when he finally noticed. He appeared close to fainting, which was a ridiculous look for a massive uniformed auror. "Bloody fucking hell! Put that thing down!"

With a smirk, the girl used her free hand to pick up a small vial and used the small vial to gentle force open Gustav's jaw. "Relax, Prewett," she drawled, carefully locating the fangs (unusually situated at the rear of the mouth) and coaxing out a few squirts of toxic saliva. "I've read some books on the procedure," the girl explained, "And it didn't sound too hard."

Gustav was returned to his terrarium; the vial of venom was handed to Slughorn. And Mina added one more malicious smile. "Better start the brew, _Professor_," she taunted, "Because anything that happens to James is going to happen to you as well."

Apparently too shocked and embarrassed to even bluster at being blatantly threatened, Slughorn scarpered.

Fabian went with him, seeming unconcerned about another escape attempt from Mina.

Because anyone with half a brain could tell she wasn't leaving James's side.

xxXxx

When Slughorn was "unable to locate his paperwork," Fabian issued a heavy fine and confiscated Gustav.

Mina was sure that Slughorn was going to find a way to blame her. Never mind that the tubby bastard kept a dangerous illegal pet in an unsecure cage, that the pet not only escaped, but also slithered all the way from the dungeon to the outdoors and then attacked a hapless student: somehow, Mina was going to be placed at fault in the old man's pickled mind.

Pouting, James argued, "I am not hapless." He'd only needed an hour or so to sleep off his minor concussion but thankfully still seemed too groggy to once again bring up that seer nonsense.

Mina chuckled. She kicked her feet up on his cot and tilted her chair onto its back legs. "Figure of speech, Jim," answered the girl, "Unknot your knickers."

He rolled his eyes, complaining, "Maybe I could if you weren't constantly trying to give me heart attacks. Reaching your hand in a bloody snake cage. Moony is going to put you over his knee."

"I knew what I was doing," she declared, "I spent nearly all of February reading about the procedures you have to know to get a class-5 creature-handling license. Boomslangs aren't very aggressive unless provoked or startled, and I made sure to calm it magically before I handled it. Besides, I wouldn't have gotten too badly hurt even if I had made a mistake. I told you the venom is slow acting."

"That's not what Madame Mary said," James replied. He twisted the lucky medallion through his fingers. "She said I could've died."

Nodding, ignoring the transparent attempt to talk more about his asinine theories, Mina explained, "Only because you would've been bitten so close to your heart. A bite on my hand would've taken hours to even show symptoms. Now can we drop this please? Want to play Snap?"

The doors of the infirmary opened with a crash, and the rest of the Marauders, plus Mary and Evans, rushed through. Fabian and McGonagall followed close behind.

"Oh, James!" Evans called, nearly knocking Mina over in the rush to the startled chaser's bedside, "We just heard what happened! Are you alright?" She gently brushed his fringe away from the less swollen but still impressive bruise on his forehead.

Even McGonagall seemed bewildered by Evans's odd behavior.

James—the little shit—didn't try to disguise his glee. "Better now," he said with a flirtatious wink. He stretched and flexed, bringing Evans's attention back to his bare chest and the slightly inflamed scratch where the venom had entered his bloodstream.

Rather than rant or rave or launch into any of her usual unfavorable reactions to such comments and behavior, Evans merely rolled her eyes and good-naturedly commented, "I should've known. That thick head of yours can stand up to just about any punishment."

McGonagall cleared her throat. "Mr. Potter," she began, "I'm glad to see that you're recovering. And Miss Lupin, I would award you points for your quick thinking in apprehending the boomslang and transporting your friend to medical attention, but I'm afraid I would have to take them right back. Honestly, there was no reason for you not to wait for a qualified adult to deal with the snake."

"Aside from shaming Slughorn and making sure his irresponsibility, ineptitude, and cowardice didn't kill James?" Mina challenged. She grumpily watched the spectacle of Evans fussing over the black-haired teen.

It seemed as though the professor didn't have an appropriate response for that analysis. "Yes, well," the prim Scot began, hastily changing the subject, "Mr. Potter will remain here until the anti-venom is administered. The rest of you may stay through lunch, but I still expect you to attend your classes."

Though she wasn't happy, Mina didn't object. After all, James was out of danger, and since Mary and Pete didn't take Arithmancy or Runes, they would both have the afternoon free to keep the lad company.

But perhaps that was a bad idea. James launched into the tale and, with surprisingly few embellishments, managed to make a horribly convincing case for the existence of Mina's prophetic abilities.

Clearly, she needed to find a way to force him to keep his seditious conjecture to himself.

"Wow," Peter gaped, "That's... _wow_..." He gave her a strange look, contemplative but almost... accusing.

Everyone else just seemed a bit stunned. McGonagall quickly excused herself, and Mina had a very bad feeling that she was going to be spending yet another afternoon in the headmaster's office.

xxXxx

According to seventh-year Gryffindor Robert Little (who had attended a Catholic primary school), the figure on James's medallion was called Saint Paul the Apostle. Wearing his image was supposed to provide protection against poisonous snake bites.

Mina refused to speak to James for nearly two days. Except, of course, to berate him for being a gullible moron.

"Bad enough Dumbledore is still trying to convince me to let the Unspeakables dissect my brain," the girl grumbled, straddling Sirius's lap and complaining between heated kisses, "I can't believe Prongs actually bought their bullshit."

Sirius sighed. He really didn't want to upset Mina, but she was being uncompromisingly difficult. "Prongs is worried about you," the young man stated, "And he's not the only one... Mary seems to think you haven't been sleeping."

With a dark scowl, Mina declared, "Mac's big fat mouth is going to earn her a big fat lip."

"We had a deal-"

"I've been taking the Sleeping Draught," she admitted, no longer making eye contact as she fiddled with his open collar, "It's just not... not working all that well."

Silently, Sirius waited for more information and was not disappointed.

Mina defended, "The deal was that I'd take the potion if I hadn't slept in three days, and that's what I've been doing. It's not my fault that I developed such a high tolerance. I... I even went to the quack nurse, but she said she can't brew my doses any stronger or they'll end up toxic. It still works about half the time, for a few hours at least."

Sirius sighed. He moved his thumbs in soothing circles against his girl's elegant hipbones. "I know it's not your fault love," he murmured, nuzzling her neck, "But I wish you would've told me. I can't help if I don't have all the facts."

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"You're not," Sirius insisted right back. He gazed up at Mina, searching her sullen, exhausted expression for some sign that she might be persuaded to do more than listen to and then ignore what her boyfriend was about to say. "Mina," he sighed, "Why are you so sure you're not a seer?"

The girl snapped, "Because assuming seers exist at all, I would know-"

"How?" Sirius challenged, "Seers don't remember their own prophecies. If you had a vision while you were alone, then no one would be able to tell you what happened. And that's if you were actually awake. You have nightmares all the time, right? And you told me you never remember them. That's not normal-"

"Stop," Mina demanded. She looked more angry than hurt, but the fact that she looked hurt at all was a very bad signal. "You've all decided that your little theory is true, and now you're twisting everything to fit! I know I'm not bloody normal! That doesn't mean I'm psychic!"

Sirius tried to comfort his girl by wrapping his arms more firmly around her slender body. "I didn't mean it like that, Sunshine," he murmured, "Screw normal, but it's not... not healthy. Not something that should be happening to you. And knowing what you know now about the fact that you were cursed, can't you at least stay open to all the possibilities? Even the ones you hate?"

She thought for a few moments, not relaxing into the embrace (to show she was ready to listen and compromise and be generally reasonable) or pulling away (to show that she wasn't ready to listen, that she didn't want to speak with Sirius again until after she'd committed several acts of arson and vandalism, possibly an assault or five).

Unfortunately, before Mina could come to a decision, the door to their empty classroom opened and revealed two professors. Doing a poor job of how impressed she was by their large transfigured couch, McGonagall frowned at her students' position upon it. "Miss Lupin, Mr. Black," she said, "I would prefer not finding you two in such close contact without suitable supervision. You are both underage, and-"

"And keep it in your pants on school grounds," Kettleburn contributed. The extensively scarred old man took another few limping steps, and, though his perpetual scowl did not change, the look in his bloodshot eyes seemed like interest that bordered on respect. "Lupin," he snapped, "Front and center."

Mina climbed reluctantly off Sirius's lap but didn't bother hurrying or straightening her crooked, untucked shirt. "Is this about my project proposal?" she offered, smirking, "If you won't let me study jarveys, then how about cerberi? I know a bloke who can get me a puppy by the end of the week-"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Kettleburn declared, his closely cropped gray hair glinting in the nearby candlelight. "And it's irrelevant anyways. I accepted your proposal. You and the other NEWT students will have your specimens delivered next week. Preliminary research will be assigned tomorrow."

Beaming, Mina chuckled, "Wicked."

She'd been extremely excited at the prospect of her very own jarvey, a creature that looked like an overgrown ferret and was capable of speech—as long as the speech was rude, profane, or otherwise insulting.

Sirius was still upset he hadn't thought of the animal first. He would be stuck studying the moke, a small lizard that could shrink itself at will but possessed no other particularly interesting talents.

"But we can discuss that and more in your academic conference," Kettleburn continued, "C'mon now. Daylight's burnin."

Frowning, Mina drawled, "Uh... academic conference?"

McGonagall huffed. "Really, Miss Lupin," she muttered, "You must start paying closer attention to your mail. I sent you the notice for the meeting just this morning."

Sirius snorted as he remembered a school owl flying quite near their group during breakfast but hastily turning away, letter undelivered, when Mina loudly threatened to suffocate James with scrambled eggs.

Ignoring the outburst, their prim Head of House continued, "A few of your professors have recently had some concerns about your classroom performance. After speaking with each other on the subject, we decided to invite you to the conversation and hopefully resolve some of the more glaring issues."

The apprehension Mina showed probably had nothing to do with actual grades and everything to do with how her brother would react to this sort of intervention. "I don't have any issues," she argued heatedly, "My homework is always on time, my tests scores are impeccable, and my mouth stays shut during lessons unless I'm directly asked questions. What more do you want?"

"We will discuss all this in the meeting-"

"I'm not going to any bloody meeting until you explain why the hell you're all so concerned about my universally stellar grades!"

McGonagall did _not _look happy. Actually, she looked like she was forcing herself to count to ten—possibly in another language—before trusting herself to speak. Finally, the straight-backed professor declared, "Your grades are indeed stellar, and that seems to be why it took us so long to notice that you could be doing even better. Exactly how far ahead of the curriculum have you currently studied?"

Still a bit miffed, Mina shrugged and responded, "My homework is finished past Christmas, if that's what you mean."

"So," McGonagall continued, "You work months ahead and then move on to pursuits of your own choosing, which result in various disruptive disasters, including booby-trapped trunks and unsupervised snake-handling? Is that about that gist of it?"

The girl shrugged again. "I suppose," she agreed hesitantly, "But I still don't see the problem. Who cares when my homework gets done as long as it gets done? And I'm fairly certain you're not allowed to tell me what I can and can't read in my spare time."

"But we _can_ suggest and provide guidance for your independent study projects," McGonagall pointed out. There was a kind, rather proud smile beginning to bloom on her lined face. "The consensus is that by knowing and directing your interests, the other professors and I can help alleviate what amounts to academic boredom while at the same time ensuring that your admirable intellectual curiosity doesn't result in you or any other students being placed in unnecessary danger."

Mina seemed surprised but excited.

Sirius didn't think it was a good idea; his girlfriend already didn't sleep, already used the extra reading as a diversion when she couldn't. It was far more important for her to deal with her insomnia rather than give her more incentive and means to ignore the problem.

Or maybe he was just being overprotective. Maybe increased mental exertion would actually help deplete more of the girl's endless energy and let her sleep and, perchance, dream.

Either way, Sirius knew it wasn't really his choice. And the second Kettleburn suggested that Mina's extra projects with him could result in the girl earning a class-5 creature-handling license by the end of seventh year, Sirius also knew that Mina had made her decision.

xxXxx

"Would you quit pouting?" Mina snarled, "You're acting like an idiot."

Sirius continued to sulk, arm wrapped firmly, rather possessively around the girl's waist. "Excuse me for not liking the idea of having lunch with my girlfriend's ex."

For what felt like the hundredth time that Saturday, Mina rolled her eyes. She argued, "Bell and I never dated. We never even kissed, so I don't think he counts as an ex. And we're not having lunch with him. I'm going to meet him at the Broomsticks, let him apologize, and then go back to the castle to meditate. Dorcas found a cool new technique, and I promised I'd try it with her."

Sirius whined, "But it's _Hogsmeade_! We're supposed to do something fun!"

"What we did this morning wasn't _fun_ enough for you?" Mina challenged, voice low and sultry as her hand wandered to her boyfriend's back pocket.

Sirius spluttered a bit, hastily insisting, "No! No! That was _plenty _fun!"

"Good," Mina replied, "Then stop complaining. This is going to take all of five minutes and might even get McDougal to quit cringing every time he sees me. Not that I really mind, but all his cowering and stammering add an intolerable amount of extra time to the planning committee meetings."

The black-haired hunk agreed with a quiet chuckle but still didn't have the good sense to cease his protests. "But don't you need something to wear to the Ball?" he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead, "I'm available all afternoon if you'd like to model a few options."

Though Mina giggled and leaned into the steady embrace, she reported, "Sorry, Paddy-cakes. I bought a costume while I was in Edinburgh. And aside from the fact that I think you'll approve, you aren't getting any hints about what it is."

Sirius spent the remainder of the walk incorrectly guessing Mina's costume choice and even daydreaming about a few of the more revealing options (dominatrix, harem girl, and pirate wench seemed to be the favorites). This distraction luckily kept the lad from being too rude when they finally encountered David Bell.

The last time Mina had seen the then-seventh-year Ravenclaw, he'd just been stopped (barely) from strangling her to death. He'd apparently been suffering a great deal from the carnage he witnessed during the Diagon attack that, at the time, was less than a year behind them. The charming dimples and bright brown eyes that once made girls swoon had turned to lifeless pupils sunk into an emaciated skull, not to mention the alcohol problem he'd done a rather poor job hiding.

However, the David Bell who greeted them in the Three Broomsticks was transformed. He certainly didn't look anywhere near as carefree as he did before the summer of 1975, but the young man had regained his health and vigor. He stood as they approached, smiling hesitantly and murmuring, "Hi. Thanks for coming."

"Sure," Mina said with a shrug, "Any excuse to lock my bodyguard in a broom cupboard."

Bell didn't get the joke, but Sirius seemed to enjoy it. Hell, he'd helped corral Fabian into the nice little trap.

"Right..." the blonde drawled, motioning to the two empty seats at their four-person table.

The fourth person was none other than his sister, Chloe, a slender sixth-year Hufflepuff. She'd been holding a bit of a grudge for what their family perceived as Mina's direct guilt in David's downward spiral. Chloe continued to glare as her brother struggled with what was obviously going to be a genuine, rather heartfelt apology.

And Mina was perfectly happy to let him apologize all he wanted. However, she was not going to sit around and allow his slag of a sister glare at her until then. "So," Mina cheerfully chirped, "Who's ready to get hammered? I'm buying."

"That is _not_ funny!" Chloe exploded, "David is in recovery, and you shouldn't be joking about-"

"I can joke about whatever the hell I want," Mina replied, "Nobody has the balls to stop me. You, on the other hand, are going to quit giving me the evil eye, or I am most assuredly going to _make_ you."

As expected, Chloe shut right up. David sent her to the bar to retrieve a round of pumpkin juice. Mina convinced Sirius to go help. "Sorry about that," David said with a sigh, "My family has been very supportive, but sometimes they can be a bit _too_ supportive, if that makes any sense."

"Ya," laughed Mina, "I do have experience with overprotective siblings."

They shared a chuckle and then lapsed into a moment of somewhat awkward silence. Finally, David took a deep breath and began, "I'm so thrilled you agreed to talk to me. Attacking you is one of the things I'm most ashamed of doing. Really just the point when I reached rock bottom. I won't bother making excuses because only my own bad decisions led me to that moment. I'm truly sorry for hurting you, and for every cruel word I said. I hope you'll forgive me but understand if you can't."

"Don't worry about it," Mina answered, shrugging, "You weren't the first person to try to kill me, or the last. Hell, you didn't even get the closest to succeeding." Holding a grudge over an event she barely ever thought about, against a boy who wasn't even in his right mind when it happened would be way too much hassle. Besides, she'd always been a sucker for sincere apologies.

David laughed uncomfortably. He murmured, "Well, that's... good? I mean, not about people trying to kill you, but... uh... thanks." After a brief pause, the young man continued, "Do you mind if I ask... I mean, the attack. I completely fell apart, and that was just from what I saw while I was hiding from danger. The nightmares alone... But you were actually tortured. You had it so much worse than I did, and you seemed to handle yourself a lot better."

Mina wanted to make a sarcastic remark about how David hadn't really asked a question. However, the young man was clearly still a bit fragile and trying desperately to pull away from self-destruction. She would have to be cruel not to impart her wisdom on the subject. "Like I said," Mina explained, "You weren't the first person to try to kill me. Those Death Eaters weren't either. I guess I just have a lot of experience dealing with attempts on my life and the fallout as well. My brother and friends also helped a lot."

A little surprised (probably at the first part of the answer), David nodded and agreed, "I've already figured out how big a mistake I made by trying to deal with everything on my own. My therapist is a squib, and she's always ranting about magicals not having enough of a system in place to deal with mental and emotional issues. If that attack had been in the muggle world, all the victims likely would've undergone extensive counseling. Instead Mungo's just cast a few spells, doled out a few potions, and sent us on our way."

"It is kind of a messed up," Mina remarked, thinking about Mary and the counseling she should've gotten after the incident with Mulciber. Thinking about her own scarred mind. "Just because magic can heal the physical damage doesn't mean that all the damage is gone."

"Exactly!" David crowed. Looking rather smug, the former-Ravenclaw declared, "I'm thinking about going to muggle university to learn psychology. It would really benefit the wizarding world to have some of the theories and treatment methods made more widely available."

Smiling, Mina declared, "Well, good luck with that. I need to get back to the castle."

Though he looked slightly disappointed, David nodded and stood, holding out his hand. "Thanks, Mina," he said as they shook, "This meant a lot to me, to be able to apologize. And things went a lot better than I expected. Take care of yourself."

"Ditto," the girl replied. She took Sirius's arm and let him guide her out of the pub. Even passing Evans and McDougal as they entered couldn't distract Mina from her thoughts.

xxXxx

Since the majority of students needed the Hogsmeade visit to purchase ball gowns, dress robes, or tasteful costumes (all of which had been deemed acceptable), dates for that Saturday almost all became casual lunches that would carry over into dates for the following week's Halloween Ball.

Lily Evans and Hamish McDougal were no exception to the trend. After a brief conversation with David Bell (during which he apologized profusely to the both of them for his behavior the previous school year), the two students shared a meal at the Three Broomsticks, snogged a little in a secluded booth, and then went their separates ways for shopping.

Returning to the castle that evening, the redhead felt pleased with her purchases and the identity of her escort. Hamish was a perfect gentleman; he was handsome and smart, Head Boy and quidditch captain.

(She ignored the voice at the back of her mind that declared the dashing seventh-year Ravenclaw to be all those things but also about as interesting as a bucket of flobberworms; even more disturbingly, the voice sounded a lot like James.)

(Even _more_ disturbingly, Lily was beginning to actually care what actual James thought on the subject.)

A moment after stepping inside her dorm, Lily stopped and blinked worriedly at the sight of Dorcas and Mina sitting cross-legged in the center of the round room, both hovering several feet off the floor. Their knees were barely touching, hands loosely clasped between them.

Lily vaguely recalled hearing the two girls make plans to spend the day practicing their meditation techniques, but... well, this seemed a bit extreme. "H-Hello?" she called.

Within seconds, Dorcas floated gently back to solid earth. Her dreamy brown eyes fluttered open, utterly serene.

Mina took fractionally longer to respond; she gasped, and her eyes went wide, and her body flailed as it fell _THWACK_ against the stones. She groaned, clutching her likely bruised tailbone. "Who the fucking hell-"

"What time is it?" Dorcas inquired, stretching and smiling.

Lily checked a nearby clock. "Nearly six."

"Ugh," Mina grunted, "Five hours? We've been at this _five hours_? Fields! I thought you said you knew what you were doing!"

Vaguely affronted, Dorcas argued, "It went exactly as it was supposed to. Maintaining a meditative state for long periods is essential in Occlumency. Besides, I feel so relaxed yet energized. Don't you?"

"My bloody legs are asleep, if that's what you mean," Mina answered gruffly. She straightened the aforementioned limbs, jostling and wiggling them, punching her own thighs in an attempt to restore sensation. The girl's stomach gave a loud rumble. "And I'm fucking starving."

Dorcas giggled as she bounced gracefully to her feet. "Let's get to dinner then," the blonde declared, "Lily? You want to come?"

Rolling her neck and shoulders, popping rows of slender vertebrae, Mina announced, "I'd kill for a pizza."

Lily was unsure if that was supposed to be a threat against her but decided she didn't care; accompanying the girls to dinner would annoy the hell out of Mina, and that bit of turnabout was just too tempting.

They chatted as they walked, mostly Dorcas asking about Lily's day in Hogsmeade and Lily asking about Dorcas's progress with Occlumency lessons (even though she was jealous she hadn't been invited to participate). Following a few steps behind, Mina remained sourly silent and ate three lollipops on the way to the Great Hall, which meant (Lily had learned from James) the girl was actually chain-smoking what were hopefully just cigarettes. Lily would've admired the ingenious Charms work if she hadn't been so appalled by the blatant rule-breaking.

As Lily was nearing the bottom of the last staircase, a shoulder slammed roughly into her own. The discourteous owner of the offending body part hissed, "Watch it, mudblood!"

The next sound, which put an end to all other sound in the crowded entryway, was that of a swift, steady fist meeting a flimsy, rather crunchy bit of cartilage.

A body in Slytherin green tumbled and rolled to the bottom of the stairs, bloodied nose spurting theatrically. Lily barely had time to recognize the young man pushing himself onto all fours as seventh-year Bruno Driscoll, their House team's keeper, before Mina pushed past her and Mina's foot caught the collapsed dullard directly in his solar plexus.

"Fair warning, you pitiful reptile," Mina spat, grabbing a handful of his pale blonde hair before he could collapse again. She slammed her knee against the side of his head. "Next time I hear you use that word, _I will rip out your forked tongue and make you watch while I eat it_." For the first time seeming to notice all the horrified eyes upon her, the girl flashed an absolutely feral grin and chuckled, "Spread the word, because the same rule applies to _absolutely everyone_."

There were actual, honest-to-goodness _shrieks of terror_ as the students stampeded in any direction that would take them farther away from Mad Mina Lupin.

Still smiling, utterly delighted with herself, the girl flung away her whimpering captive and then the remaining stem of her "lollipop." She declared, "Circe's warty tits, I must be hungrier than I thought because _Tongue of Slytherin_ is sounding pretty delicious right about now."

xxXxx

Very surprisingly, Mina did not get in an ounce of trouble for the Driscoll incident. Bruno Driscoll, probably irate at being thrashed so publically and thoroughly by a female half-blood Gryffindor, made no complaint. No other witnesses came forward. Fabian even forgot to be mad about being locked in a broom cupboard as he declared the encounter to be none of his business and even complimented Mina on the effortless neutralization. Neither Evans nor any of the portraits whined to the teachers, which was odd, but the Marauders had bigger things to worry about.

Very unsurprisingly, Slytherin reprisal came the following day when Bruno Driscoll and the House team's beaters, seventh-year Jerome Montague and fifth-year Nicholas Higgs, attempted to accost Mary while she was exiting the library alone.

They didn't even bother with a sneak attack, probably thinking she was an easy target, a lot easier than going after Mina or the other Marauders directly. Fortunately and _hilariously_, the trio of snakes was proven quite wrong.

As Mary left them behind in varying states of unconsciousness, intense pain, and sterility, she called over her shoulder, "Better luck next time. You might want to bring more manpower."

Mina decreed that, forever after, October 24th would be a national holiday known as "Mac is a Bad-Arse Day." No one bothered to point out that she didn't actually have the authority to go around declaring national holidays. Which, of course, led to her declaring October 25th "Fill Slug-guts's Shoes with Pudding Day" and October 26th "Jarvey Appreciation Day."

"Isn't she the cutest?" the girl cooed, snuggling the massive gray ferret-like beast in her embrace.

The jarvey (which was named Parthenope, or affectionately just Nope) agreed in a small, clear voice, "_Your mother sucks cocks in hell_."

"I wish," Mina sighed happily.

Sirius made a mental note: offering profanity and cuddly animals were sure-fire ways to get his girlfriend out of a bad mood, even one induced by the shocking knowledge of devastating family secrets and probable brain damage. Apparently even one induced by the professors ganging up to supervise her extracurricular studies and the aurors watching her every move.

Watching skeptically, James pointed out, "We don't have Care until Friday. How'd you get your project already?"

"_Piss off, nosy little turd_." It was quite disconcerting hearing the words come out of a mouth that didn't have to move to form the sounds, that didn't even have the appropriate lips or tongue. As Mina had quite eagerly explained when she introduced her new pet, jarvey vocalizations weren't speech as much as selective mimicry made possible by extremely versatile vocal cords.

The girl grinned so hard her lovely face had to hurt. "Kettleburn got the delivery early," she began, scratching underneath Nope's chin, "And I didn't think it was fair for all the creatures to spend extra days locked up in his dingy office."

Suspicious, Remus challenged, "Er... _all_ the creatures?"

"_Cor, ever heard of a breath mint?_" trilled Nope, "_I can smell the last three arses you ate_."

With a delighted giggle, Mina told her brother, "Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

Sirius was about ninety percent certain he was going to find a lizard in his bed.

Which was still better than the bundimun (sentient fungus), knarl (easily offended hedgehog), and streeler (giant color-changing snail) likely awaiting Remus, James, and Peter, respectively.

Frank appeared rather suddenly, directly to Mina's left; wielding reflexes none of their group expected off him, the drenched, incensed auror seized Mina's wrist and immediately slapped a tight metal cuff onto it. He vanished moments later. Apparition was impossible, so his stealth skills must've been extraordinary to produce such an effect.

Scowling, Mina tried without success to yank off her new bracelet. She commented, "Well, Frankie's sense of humor clearly hasn't improved."

"_Wank-stain_," Nope commented.

Remus sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He demanded, "What'd you do to him?"

"Nothing," said Mina, though her expression told a different story. "Well. Ok. Maybe he's upset about the cruise I sent him on."

"Cruise?" Pete chuckled. He was only half paying attention anyways, likely lost in thoughts of his inexplicably attractive girlfriend Yvette and the plans they had to meet up later to "study."

Mina offered a stunning grin. "He may have followed me down to the little cave where the boats enter the castle when they're transporting the first-years. And he _may_ have fallen into a boat. And it's entirely possible that I inadvertently triggered a 'scenic lake tour' function while trying to rescue him."

Filling in the gaps for himself, Sirius concluded that Frank had likely spent a few hours trapped in a small vessel as it traversed the Great Lake. Since the sky was pissing rain and the waves were quite choppy, the hours probably weren't very pleasant. Since Frank currently had the shift to physically guard Mina, the auror had also been in dereliction of his duties.

That was more than enough to make anyone a bit tetchy.

But it still didn't explain the bracelet, which Mina spent the remainder of the walk to lunch failing to remove from her arm. She was definitely getting frustrated and managing to teach Nope a whole host of new swears. But, fortunately, a distraction presented itself before any property was damaged.

"Lupin," Hamish McDougal called, frowning as he stood blocking their path to the Great Hall. When both twins folded their arms and raised a speculative eyebrow, the harassed Head Boy gruffly demanded, "Mina. I need a word."

Smirking, Mina instantly replied, "Sesquipedalian."

Blinking rather slowly, the burly brunette drawled, "Uh... what?"

(Sirius was starting to see what his friends meant when they said McDougal wasn't the sharpest 'claw in the flock.)

"Sesquipedalian," Mina repeated, "It's an adjective but can also be used in the noun form... would you prefer your word to be another part of speech?"

Remus giggled. He could be such a malicious little nerd sometimes.

McDougal flushed a bit, irate but holding his tongue lest he be on the receiving end of anymore human-pretzel curses or exploding windows... Actually, Sirius noticed, there wasn't a single pane of glass within several dozen yards, which did not seem coincidental. "I need _to talk to you_," McDougal corrected, "About the Ball."

Mina laughed, "Oh, well, why didn't you just say so?"

Nope gave the girl's ear a friendly nip before agreeing, "_Gnome rapist_."

McDougal stormed away, seemingly trusting that Mina would follow.

With a shrug, she did, but not before sarcastically remarking, "If I turn up dead from Extreme Boredom, you all know who to go after to avenge me, right?"

"_So that's what a syphilitic moron looks like_," Nope commented, stubby legs bouncing happily against Mina's shoulder.

Once the girl, the jarvey, and the prefect were truly gone, James didn't waste any time announcing, "I think I know what the bracelet is for."

"Oh?" Remus inquired. They had all guessed, quite correctly, that Mina wasn't going to be pleased about whatever purpose the new jewelry served.

James nodded and sighed, "It looks like a tracking and containment bracelet. Normally the aurors use them for suspects or criminals under house arrest, but Mum made me wear one when I was little because I kept running off into the woods. The bracelet kept me from going too far and let Mum find me easily whenever she wanted."

"And Frank put one of those on _Mina_?" Pete gaped, "Is he _insane_?" The podgy lad let the rhetorical query hang unanswered for a few moments before whispering, "Oh, Merlin. Who's going to tell her?"

"NOT IT!" Sirius screamed, immediately running for his life.

He loved his girlfriend and knew her better than just about anyone else did, which was how he knew that, however cheerful she may seem at the moment, Mina was one piece of bad news away from committing mass murder.

xxXxx

A tutor he had as a small boy once told James a story about how animals caught in foothold traps would sometimes chew off their own legs to escape. The tutor had calmly explained that it was a survival instinct, that all animals, including humans, are capable of just about anything when their lives are at stake. At the time, James absolutely didn't believe it was possible.

However, the crazed, desperate look in Mina's eyes as she tried to pry off the tracking bracelet suggested she was only minutes away from gnawing through her wrist. Even the raw skin, the ring of angry bruises, and the increasingly intense jolts of pain that resulted from tampering with the cuff could not deter her.

"This is barbaric!" the girl howled, rolling on the floor and using her feet in the latest attempt to force her hand through the snug metal cylinder, "And probably _illegal_! I'm going to _kill_ Frank!"

"If you keep that up, all you're going to do is yank your shoulder out of its socket," Sirius scolded. Yet again, he gently gathered her into his embrace, squeezing her against his chest. "Calm down, Sunshine," he murmured, "Hurting yourself won't accomplish anything."

The girl gave one more vicious thrash before going limp in Sirius's arms. People who didn't know her might've thought she had given up; the Marauders, of course, could easily tell that Mina was merely plotting her next move...

Or... "Sunny," James asked cautiously, "When was the last time you slept?"

Her deep blue eyes flashed as she bellowed, "That has _nothing_ to do with this! Frank tagged me like a fucking _animal_, and all you're worried about is-" Her own ferocious roar cut the raging Animagus off as she began smashing the cuff against the ground.

As far as James could tell, she didn't even manage to dent the thing.

"Oi, what did I tell you about screaming?" Alice commented as she slid gracefully through the door of the empty classroom. The pretty blonde auror had the good sense to stay well away from Mina.

"Piss the fuck off!" the girl replied.

A nearby window exploded with a sharp _pop_.

Wide-eyed, Alice watched the powdered glass frost the few desks jammed into the far corner. "How the hell are you still doing accidental magic?" she asked, "Nearly everybody grows out of it after getting their first wand. Certainly after a few years of schooling."

Mina cackled, "Not me. I guess we can add that to the growing list of reasons I'm abnormal." Her bruised arm froze in midair.

James lowered his wand, happy to no longer have to witness his almost-sister so casually injuring herself.

Of course, Mina wasn't happy with the development. She just tried harder to yank her arm free, stuck as it was in an invisible vice. Two more windows went _pop. pop._ The bracelet began to glow and smoke.

No. The bracelet wasn't smoking: Mina's skin was smoking as the bracelet turned red hot. The girl's angry, agonized shrieks seemed to make the walls shake.

Fortunately, Alice noticed right away and, with a yelp of alarm, she released the cuff. It clattered to the floor, blackening as it cooled and continued to fill the room with the stench of singed flesh.

The burn encompassed her whole wrist and was more than an inch thick, more than an inch of char and exposed muscle, even what looked like a small glimpse of ulna.

Valiantly, James fought to keep his dinner where it belonged as he cast the few healing spells he could.

"Bloody hell," he heard Sirius whisper, hugging his girlfriend tightly, examining her trembling arm. He whipped around to glare daggers at Alice, shouting, "What did you arseholes do?!"

Clearly as confused as the rest of them, Alice stammered, "N-Nothing! I-... I have no idea why-... it's just a standard tracking bracelet! We use them all the time, and nothing like this has _ever_ happened before!" She approached the bit of metal, wisely not touching the thing but inspecting it for signs of... well, James didn't know exactly what.

He did know that Mina needed to be treated for third-degree burns.

James helplessly remembered skipping that chapter in his stolen healer manual. After all, the reason the lad had been reading in the first place was to learn how to deal with the after-effects of the moon, and what were the chances of a werewolf burning someone to death?

xxXxx

It was official: Madame Mary was a fucking idiot.

Despite Mina's tolerance, Sleeping Draught was the first potion the nurse poured down the irate girl's throat. Though her enraged tirade became slurred and decreased to a less eardrum-shattering volume, though her blue eyes sank to a groggy half-mast, Mina remained otherwise unaffected.

And because Mina's regular dosage was strong enough to put a Horntail in a coma, she wasn't allowed a pain potion afterward. So not only was Mina still awake and shouting her lungs out, her seared wrist still probably felt just as awful as it had while the metal cuff had cooked her skin.

Ok, actually, either Madame Mary was a fucking idiot or a fucking _sadist_. Sirius wasn't sure where the smart money was.

Alice was in the nurse's office, floo-calling to rouse Frank and figure out if he'd altered the bracelet (apparently a charmed rune configuration) in any way that could've caused the damn thing to practically catch fire.

Sirius honestly hoped he hadn't; they all liked Frank, and one more massive screw-up might very well end his career. And that was to say nothing of the Marauders' payback if he was proven to have willfully or negligently hurt one of their own.

In the meantime, Mina carried on raging. At the nurse, at the aurors, at the Unspeakables. Giles, Slughorn, Dumbledore. Montague, Driscoll, Higgs, McDougal. Her grandmother and mother. Basically, everyone who'd royally pissed her off at any point in the last week or two. She looked insane, but, again, the Marauders definitely detected the familiar hint of hysterical fatigue.

Threats of torture and death and desecration continued until Professors McGonagall and Lazarov strode into the room. Both similarly tall, slender women seemed shocked by the unending torrent of rather drunken-sounding profanity spewing forth from their diminutive student. However, only the vampire quickly recovered, took another few steps to Mina's bedside, and administered a sharp smack upside the head.

"Stop this ridiculous tantrum," Lazarov hissed, thankfully before Mina could get over her own shock at the rough treatment, "How do you hope to master Occlumency vhen you possess such little control over your emotions? Such foolishness vill not be tolerated in my class! I vant your mind clear, and I vant it _now_!"

McGonagall coughed. "Elisaveta," she scolded, though the admonishment seemed quite halfhearted (even slightly amused, daresay envious), "We do not strike the students."

Thin lips curling away from her gleaming fangs, Lazarov replied, "Not all of them. Just special cases." She turned back to Mina, snapping, "Vell? I am vaiting."

The hate in Mina's gaze probably could've been seen by a muggle in outer space. However, the sandy-haired she-wolf took several deep breaths as she forced herself to calm, and as Mina calmed, the air itself began to feel more livable.

Though no more windows had fallen victim, the girl's magic had still been pouring off her in waves.

Which perhaps explained why the nurse was moving so slow with the burn ointment: she didn't want to be near Mina.

Occupying the other side of her cot and holding her uninjured hand, Sirius pulled his girlfriend more snugly against him.

Lazarov poked the tips of two spidery fingers right in the center of Mina's forehead. "You feel your pain lessening?" the vampire challenged, almost mockingly, "Nerves report directly to the mind. A proper shield vill protect you from more than just mental attacks. Remember that next time."

Pale face rapidly approaching blankness, Mina nodded. And then she passed out cold.

Sirius cradled her limp form for a few moments before gently easing her down to the pillows. He couldn't be sure if the Sleeping Draught had finally kicked in or if the professor's eerily intense stare had been some sort of vampiric hypnosis, but either way the young man decided to be grateful that Mina was no longer suffering.

Lazarov turned toward the bedside table and picked up the blackened metal bracelet, examining it carefully for several long minutes before snorting with unmistakable derision. When Alice returned, the vampire inquired, "Your department authorized this device?"

Nodding somberly, Alice defended, "Yes. Everything was above board. Frank didn't alter any of the runes or charms-"

"He vouldn't have to," Lazarov snarled. She binned the cuff, delicately wiping her hands against her thin denim-covered thighs. "It is not designed to be vorn by... people like Miss Lupin."

A strong chill rattled the entire length of Sirius's spine.

But before he could demand further elucidation of that creepy fucking remark, James returned with Remus, Peter, and Mary. They swarmed around the bed, and, by the time Sirius could once again see where the vampire had been standing, Lazarov was gone.

xxxxxxxxxx

Ta da. Hope everyone enjoyed the update because recent family issues may severely limit when the next one will come. If it goes too long, I do have a few not-yet-posted stories I could offer as appeasement, but we shall see.

Reviews will surely lift my spirits and provide the necessary motivation to write. Anyone who spots errors/typos should please let me know. I hate finding them months later.

Much respect to anyone who knows/bothers to look up the meaning of sesquipedalian ;)


	35. Wreaking Runic Havoc

Part 35 – Wreaking Runic Havoc

"I'm afraid I must insist," the headmaster drawled.

There was something that looked like a silver napkin ring cinched midway down his bright white beard: Mina found the object incredibly distracting, so much so that she really hadn't been listening to a word Dumbledore said.

Still, the girl always found that, in situations when a person tried to insist, the best course of action was to automatically reply, "Hell no."

Seconds away from reaching full-blown exasperation, Dumbledore sighed, "You don't have a choice in the matter. As your headmaster, I can have you removed from school until your accidental magic is under control and no longer a danger to the other students. As your guardian, I am within my rights to authorize the Unspeakables to examine you. I never needed your permission but hoped you would come to the mature, rational decision on your own. Your increasingly destructive episodes have made that permission a luxury none of us can afford. Professor McGonagall will be arriving shortly to escort you to the Department of Mysteries. You will cooperate fully with anything the Unspeakables ask of you, and you will remain there until they declare you fit to be released."

Mina did her best to keep from breaking anymore windows—no reason to validate the old man's lunacy. She carefully replied, "So Frankie slaps a tracker on me and nearly gets my hand burned off, and, instead of defending my rights, my guardian not only blames me, but also wants to turn me over to be probed by the geezers in the shadiest, least accountable Ministry office? Are you out of your lemon-sucking, goat-fucking mind?"

Instead of answering those perfectly logical questions, Dumbledore instead murmured, "Mina. I know you realize that there is something genuinely wrong with you. Something that you can't hope to explain or control on your own. Why won't you accept our help? Why won't you trust me when I say this is for your own good?"

She had to channel a reflexive, revolted shudder into a deep, soothing breath. The girl let herself relax into the squashy purple armchair. Merlin's saggy man-tits, she was so tired. "Funny coincidence," Mina murmured, digging into her pocket for a few sheets of parchment and tossing them onto the wide oak desk, "My mother used to say that same thing—_for your own good_—when she was drugging me every night. Sometimes slapping me around a bit. To put me in my place, of course. Because I had to learn to _submit to my betters_. But it doesn't matter. Quite frankly, _sir_, why I don't trust you or anyone else is none of your business. I appealed to have you removed as our guardian. Apparently not a moment too soon."

To say that the old man was shocked would be an understatement. He reached for and began to read the scrolls.

"We both know you took over guardianship on a technicality," Mina announced, "The great aunt my grandmother awarded custody to hasn't been seen in over ten years, and Remus and I needed an adult to sign a few things so we wouldn't be declared Ministry wards. You signed everything without talking to us first. My brother trusts you and convinced me not to contest. But I never liked what you did, and, just in case your motives proved less than genuine, I immediately had the family solicitor draw up the necessary paperwork. It's been standing by since last year. I had hoped not to have cause to use it, but, as I was leaving the Hospital Wing after being gravely injured by aurors here mainly at your request, I saw those Unspeakables arrive for another meeting with you. I figured you'd pull something like this, so I sent word to have the papers delivered before I responded to your summons. They should've been filed about twenty minutes ago."

"What do you hope to accomplish?" Dumbledore demanded. He was clearly annoyed by the blatant defiance, his twinkly blue eyes hardening into chips of glacial ice. "You can't actually expect a ruling in your favor."

Giggling maliciously, Mina crossed her legs and declared, "It doesn't matter. I've flooded every available channel with so many forms and affidavits and petitions that, even if the worthless Ministry bureaucracy manages to compile a useable file before we turn seventeen, the backlog in the courts would still ensure the case isn't heard in time. For now, though, you can look forward to receiving a restraining order any minute. Your authority to make major decisions—such as finances, housing, and unnecessary medical procedures—is revoked pending review. Since removing me from school at this point might be seen by the press as retaliation, especially when I send them a copy of that extremely unflattering article I took the liberty of writing up, I would recommend rethinking your options."

He looked so angry but also... sad. Bobbing somewhere between hurt and insulted. It had probably been decades since anyone had refused him so bluntly and vehemently. "You can't run from this forever," he declared, "There _is_ something wrong with you, child. Lashing out at those of us trying figure out what won't change that fact."

"I've given the subject a bit of thought," Mina murmured, forcing her expression into untold depths of cold, predatory darkness "You were never nearly this interested in me until Giles starting spouting off his seer nonsense. So is that it, _sir_? You think I'm an untapped resource you can train up for all your future-gazing needs?"

Though his expression didn't falter, Dumbledore's voice was softer, the sort of tone most people would use trying to soothe a rabid beast. "Are you really so stubborn?" he demanded, "You won't even entertain the possibility-"

Mina answered with a cruel laugh. "Why?" she challenged, "There's nothing in it for me. Suppose I allow this exam. It can only end one of two ways. One, someone decides I am _not_ a seer, in which case, I'll still have been used like a fucking lab animal for the amusement of you and those Unspeakable pricks. Two, someone decides I am a seer, in which case, I'll be harassed further for a bunch of bullshit prophecies that stupid people will shape their pathetic lives around. Have you ever wondered about that? How many fulfilled prophecies are just idiots seeing what they want to see? What they've been told they should expect? Has there ever been a single prophecy that's actually _prevented_ a tragedy, or do they all just proclaim everyone should be afraid of something vague that can't be stopped anyways? Does it still even count as a prophecy if it _keeps_ something horrible from happening, and what good is it otherwise?"

With a grin, another mean chuckle, she continued, "Here's the kicker though: how many prophecies have been fulfilled only because morons who believed in them orchestrated the events to match? Apparently Vulvamort is interested in capturing a seer. Well, maybe someday I'll let him. Maybe I'll tell him that the only thing standing between him and total domination is _your shriveled corpse swinging from a tacky neon rope_."

Dumbledore actually gaped.

Mina didn't think she'd ever caused him to gape before and mentally congratulated herself. "Because, of course, that's the other problem with all this prophecy nonsense," the girl explained, "For only the effort it takes to convincingly fake a trance, any _seer_ with her own agenda could have quite a bit of fun at the world's expense."

Not bothering to wait for a response, Mina stood abruptly. She picked at the clean bandage on her left wrist before cheerfully announcing, "I'm no one's experiment, pet, weapon, or ace in the fucking hole. And the more you try to control me, the more I become convinced that you're just as much of a power-hungry lunatic as the arsehole you claim to abhor." The girl turned away and smirked, though she felt ill. "Anyways, something to think about. Have a nice weekend, Headmaster. See you at the Ball."

xxXxx

Nearly twenty minutes after Mina left Dumbledore's office, the other Marauders watched on the Map as Peter's dot finally scurried out from the corner, down the spiral staircase, past the gargoyle, and into the hall. Wormtail was back in the dorm shortly before midnight, hands still shaking as he returned to his human form.

He reported the conversation in its entirety, finally finishing, "I don't think _I've_ ever been so terrified in my entire life, but Dumbledore... she scared the piss out of him. It was... did you know he keeps firewhiskey in his bottom drawer? I swear he downed half the bottle in just the first pull."

Doing his best not to burst into inappropriate giggles, Sirius asked, "Are you saying that the headmaster is, at this very moment, getting sloshed in his office?"

Remus glared, which wasn't at all surprising, but James joined, which sort of was. Either way, they both chose to ignore what they clearly deemed idiocy. Remus summarized, "So, basically, my sister delivered a warning. If he pushes her into being labeled a seer, she'll exploit that label to destroy him and anyone else she feels like."

"Rather clever," Peter commented, "In a dreadfully frightening sort of way... I'm certainly glad I haven't ticked her off lately."

"You never mentioned any great aunt," Sirius pointed out. He frowned as he remembered the days after Madame Lupin's funeral, the days after the twins finally returned to school. All they'd said was that Dumbledore was _technically _their guardian, and no one had inquired any further.

Huffing, Remus grumbled, "Well, like Pete said, no one has seen her in over ten years. I think, as we got older, my grandmother just appointed a guardian who would take a long time to find. She wanted us to look after ourselves and not have anyone else butting in. She was very much in favor of self-sufficiency. Where do you think Mina got the damn stubborn streak?"

"But you let Dumbledore sign the papers," James muttered, frowning.

Remus squirmed. "I just... thought he was doing something nice," the sandy-haired teen defended, "It's not unusual for the headmaster to accept official guardianship over students who are under his care for most of the year anyways. He said he wouldn't interfere with us too much. The other option was being declared Ministry wards and spending a year and a half contesting. Nothing would've changed much except wasting a lot in lawyer fees."

"Or finding your great aunt," Pete suggested. He could be unexpectedly intelligent at the strangest of moments.

They all stared at him and considered the implications. Finally, Remus wondered, "Maybe we _were_ supposed to... oh, fuck..." Moments of waiting yielded a result: "Our great aunt's name is Joy Lupin. Mina was named after her. Romina _Joy_ Lupin. You think it was some sort of message?"

James chuckled, weakly defending, "Lots of families carry on names without any specific meaning. My middle name is Reginald after a second cousin who was eaten by a nundu. I wouldn't read too much into it."

"Except Grandmother planned for everything," Remus muttered. He was already lost in intense contemplation. "I assumed the choice meant she was just trying to tie up the courts until we were of age, but... fuck. I fucked it up, didn't I?" He groaned and wrenched his sandy hair. "If Dumbledore hadn't signed those forms... our vaults would've been sealed for a year and a half, but our tuition and supplies still would've been paid for. We both receive more than enough allowance to be comfortable, and we could've asked Mr. and Mrs. P for places over the summer. Dumbledore wouldn't have been able to release our medical files... I fucked it up. Mina told me it wasn't right, and I convinced her..."

He got very pale and then retreated to the bathroom to vomit.

Sirius thought that was an overreaction. But, then again, Remus knew more than he'd told the rest of them. More than he could tell them because he'd sworn the damn oath.

By the time the werewolf returned, the other Marauders had come to a decision. "You can't tell us, we don't understand, whatever," James stated, "But this is enough. Obviously the secret is eating you up. And maybe knowing all the facts will calm Mina down. Your grandmother planned for everything? Good. Then she planned for a scenario where all the information needed to be known, and you're going to help us find it."

For a long time, Remus just held his head in his hands. He breathed harshly through a mouth that obviously hadn't been charmed clean. After what felt like hours, the scrawny teen croaked, "Grandmother loved Greek mythology." He smirked a bit, seemingly pleased that he'd said the words he meant to (despite the fact that they offered seemingly irrelevant information).

Sirius laughed. A nervous, half-hysterical noise. "So does my mother," he claimed, "So does every pure-blood who thinks they can call forth blessings from the gods by saddling their feeble-minded progeny with names like Mnemosyne or Phrixus." He blinked. "Actually, I should write to Uncle Phrix. He was always entertaining at parties..."

Despite the murderous looks from Remus and James, none of the Marauders said anything for quite some time. Eventually, Peter inquired, "If Mina wants Dumbledore removed as guardian, doesn't she need to nominate another option?"

Remus shrugged. "Probably the same great aunt. There's a sixth month grace period to find wayward relations, and it reset as soon as Sunny made the most recent inquiry. That alone should last us until we're of age. As long as we stay at Hogwarts, we're deemed to have suitable supervision without official involvement."

"This great aunt," James suggested, ignoring the fact that the twins probably wouldn't be able to leave for Christmas or Easter holiday, "You say no one's seen her... is she even still alive?

Another shrug. "Grandmother hardly ever spoke about her. She's our grandfather's sister. They were twins. John and Joy. He died the year after we were born. I don't know when she disappeared, or why, or where to."

"Lazarov knows something," Sirius announced, nervously adjusting his ponytail, "Not about Great Aunt Joy. About Mina. About what's happening to her." He recounted the professor's remarks in the Hospital Wing, her comment that the tracking bracelet had nearly caught fire because it wasn't meant to be worn by "_people like Miss Lupin_."

Tapping his fingers in an introspective rhythm against one of his bedposts, James agreed, "That is quite odd. We'll need to talk to her and find out what she meant."

"Not it," Pete chirped, "Lazarov gives me the creeps."

Remus rolled his eyes but sighed, "Fine. You can help me look into Great Aunt Joy. Padfoot and Prongs, you'll talk to the professor?"

They both nodded.

"I suppose I should go find Mary and fill her in," continued Remus. He stood and brushed a few pieces of imaginary lint off his impeccably pressed trousers. "She's going to skin me alive if she thinks I'm keeping secrets again."

With a shaky laugh, Peter teased, "Ya, when did Mary become almost as scary as Mina? She used to be so _shy_."

Grinning proudly, Remus explained, "Despite what most people will insist to the contrary, my sister is a very good influence."

xxXxx

She didn't remember which auror was supposed to be stalking her that night, and, quite frankly, Mina didn't care. Whoever it was would be welcome to try to keep the girl from fleeing the claustrophobic confines of the castle; however, he or she would do so at his or her own peril.

"Lupin!"

The shout came right on time, just as Mina was stepping out the front doors.

"Lupin! Stop!"

One of the Prewetts, though she couldn't tell which from voice alone.

"Stop before I make you stop!"

She had the urge to run but knew all it would earn was a stunner to the back and a mouthful of turf.

"Lupin! C'mon! It's freezing out here!"

A smirk crossed the girl's face. She knew he was bluffing.

"I'll be suspended if I lose you again!"

Maybe she could get them _all _suspended. Surely the DMLE wouldn't have the manpower to send replacements...

Refusing to allow further threats, pleas, or whines to halt her, Mina continued on toward the lake. She didn't know when she decided that's where she'd go, but, upon finding herself standing at the edge of the inky black abyss, she definitely knew the next step she'd take.

One Bubble-Head Charm later, she abandoned a very shocked redhead on the bank.

As cold as the October air had been, the frigid water was immensely worse. But it still beat constant supervision, and the girl swam blindly along the sandy bottom until she found a respectably sized rock with which to weigh herself down. After using her wand to create a weak light and then sending that light randomly zigzagging away (close enough to the surface to hopefully be noticed and followed by Prewett), she settled in. Mina figured she had a little under an hour before the air in her charm ran out (longer if she avoided exertion; shorter if she wanted to avoid hypothermia).

Once numbness permeated her limbs, Mina forced herself to ignore the pain and the cold in favor of contemplating the overall predicament.

Everybody thought she was a goddamn seer. Which was, of course, ridiculous. A few lucky coincidences and the word of a senile Death Eater didn't mean Mina had a direct line to the future. But how could she possibly convince them? Any action she took that even vicariously caused a less than catastrophic outcome would probably result in yet more accusations.

Besides, seers gave prophecies that they then didn't remember. That wasn't quite the same thing as supposedly being subconsciously aware of events to come and taking actions to correct them.

The goddamn medallion kept James from being bitten, but it certainly didn't keep him from falling out of the tree. If Mina knew all that was going to happen, wouldn't she have forced him to leave the area entirely? A few sarcastic quips didn't keep Greta Rudiger from (almost) drowning, but they sort of got her together with her idiot boyfriend. Mina liked Greta. She was a decent person and a good keeper. If Mina had a chance to save Greta from an immensely traumatic experience, then she damn well would've. And that included dating a moron like Keith Davies.

It just made no sense. Mina would know if she were a seer. Not that there was much point in being one anyways. The whole risk-versus-reward ratio was massively skewed: seers (assuming they existed) endured blackouts and the constant threat of being kidnapped by deluded psychos, and for what? To deliver warnings about events that couldn't be changed anyways? Because, after all, if prophecies were real, then Mina was going to have to concede that a certain amount of her life was already written; she was going to have to accept that some or maybe _all_ free will was nothing more than an elaborate illusion.

_Fuck that_, the girl thought bitterly.

And then she felt something coiling around her in the dark, an inescapable force pinning her arms to her sides and lashing her legs together, hauling her backwards and up. She was already being dragged onto the bank before she figured out what was actually happening, and that was only because the evidence was plain to see:

The Prewett (probably Fabian, she decided) had jumped in after her, eventually found her, and, rather than risk letting his quarry escape again, bound her in conjured ropes. Then it had just been a matter of towing her to shore.

"_Bastard!_" Mina raged, flopping like a fish as she struggled to get free.

Trembling and drenched, skin distinctly blue even in the shadowy night, Fabian cancelled first his own and then Mina's Bubble-Head. He peered down at her for a few moments, saying nothing as she shrieked and screamed and promised to beat him to death with his own spine.

But Fabian just waited, patiently, until Mina's strength ebbed and left her drained, panting and shivering and _seething_. Silently. "Got that out of your system?" the gorilla-chested auror challenged. He'd managed drying and warming charms for himself during the interval and was in the process of transfiguring a large log into a plush armchair, complete with a fluffy quilt for which Mina would gladly kill.

"Fuck you," she spat. The icy agony that used to be her body made thinking next to impossible, and Fabian was taking the opportunity to actually taunt her with his creature comforts.

"I guess I'll wait then," he replied, "Let me know when you're ready to talk."

Mina screamed for quite a while longer, until her throat went completely hoarse and her violently chattering teeth began to interfere with speech and the mud began to seep through her sodden clothing. But she refused to admit defeat and certainly wasn't going to tolerate whatever heart-to-heart the auror had in mind.

Of course, he seemed to take her momentary calm as permission to speak. "Being angry isn't going to free you," Fabian explained, "Relax. Evaluate. Strategize."

Resisting the urge to goggle stupidly, Mina realized that he was... offering advice. And not idiotic advice like Dumbledore's. "Or you could just quit being a prick and let me go," the girl suggested.

He stuck his hand into a concealed pocket of his uniform, and Mina recognized the object he removed as the scorched tracking bracelet that had mangled her wrist just the night before. "Did the headmaster tell you what happened with this?" asked Fabian.

Mina shook her head. "He was too busy trying to turn me into a research specimen." She fidgeted and squirmed and only succeeded in sinking deeper into the silt. Her still-healing burn throbbed, but she was almost thankful for the distant sensation of searing agony. At least it helped her remember was being warm felt like.

"One of the rune sets is an anti-tampering measure," the redhead explained, "It absorbs and neutralizes magic used against it. Most spells are far too destructive for people to aim at their own arms anyways, and even if they do, the rune set harmlessly counteracts them. You, however, seem to have gotten so mad that your magic bled out of you at an unprecedented rate. The runes were overloaded with raw energy, which heated the metal, which... well, you know. Make sense?"

Mina nodded and pointed out, "Sounds like a rather large design flaw."

Chuckling, Fabian argued, "Most adults who end up wearing them don't have problems with accidental magic, and deliberate magic, whether with or without a wand, is controlled enough not to produce the same effect. A particularly unstable child who somehow ended up wearing one could encounter the same problem, but their magic reserves wouldn't be anywhere near as strong as yours. And kids' accidental magic tends to come in short bursts rather than sustained waves... you are one powerful witch, Mina."

The sincere flattery was nice, but she had a hard time taking it seriously as long she remained trussed like a turkey.

"To be honest," he continued, "I don't think I would've found you at all if you hadn't used that decoy light, especially after you used the decoy girl on Gid. Don't think we didn't figure that out, by the way."

Mina couldn't help smirking as she remembered tricking the auror into tracking a glamoured Dorcas back to the Tower.

"But it was quite clever," Fabian murmured, "Except for repeating tactics on the same group of adversaries. And for putting yourself into the beginning stages of hypothermia to accomplish... I suppose I should dry you off before you catch your death, since you aren't proving quite as capable as I expected."

"Shut up, arsehole," croaked Mina, "And don't do me any bloody favors." She concentrated on her current predicament, on getting free so she could ram her fist through the auror's obnoxious skull.

Fabian laughed and stretched his long beefy legs, looking entirely too content under the quilt. "Clever plans are well and good," he declared, "But sometimes you just can't help getting caught. What do you do when you're caught?"

The girl frowned, not a fan of just how strange the situation was growing. "Kill everyone between me and the exit," she answered, a clear hint of _you included_ in her voice.

Chuckling, Fabian lounged in his chair and replied, "Not if you can't untie yourself. Here's a hint: a lot of people can conjure ropes, but the vast majority only cast the lazy version of the spell. Simple muggle ropes. Simple muggle knots. Fairly easy to slip, if you know how."

"Even if I do," Mina argued, "The knot is digging into my shoulders, and my wand is in my pocket. With my hands stuck at my sides, I can't reach either."

"Too bad you don't have one of these," said Fabian as he produced a large serrated dagger with only the lightest flick of a thick freckled wrist. Moonlight glinted off the double blade. "Since you never know when you'll be in trouble," he added, "It's always good to carry as many emergency supplies as you can. If you need a laugh later, you might want to ask Gid where he keeps his throwing stars." Fabian lobbed the knife into the silt, far enough away that Mina had to roll along the bank and completely coat herself in mud in order to reach the shiny key to freedom. She didn't even pause before doing so.

Sawing through the ropes was as difficult as it was awkward and took ten minutes longer than it would've if Mina'd had a full range of motion. But she still got the job done. Her clumsy fingers felt like they were on fire, which wasn't a pleasant combination with the frozen state of the rest of her, but liberty always had its price.

The last rope fell away, and Fabian immediately had Mina cleaned, dried, warmed, and settled with a chair and blanket much like his own. Though she really wanted to murder the bastard, the young witch doubted she'd be able to force herself to leave the sanctuary for anything short of the secret to immortality... or possibly a piping hot mug of cocoa. But only if she managed to stop shaking so badly. A scalded crotch would be the cherry on this shit sundae of an evening.

"So," Fabian drawled, "What did you learn?"

Very weakly, she tossed a soaked package of cigarettes and barely managed to hit the outer edge of her target. "Always waterproof smokes before swimming?" the girl suggested.

After several moments of staring longingly at the ruined cigs, Fabian shook himself and got right back on track. "Not what I was looking for, but fair," he stated, "Why didn't you just break the ropes like you did the windows?"

"It's called _accidental magic_ for a reason," Mina responded, rolling her eyes, "Besides, I usually only end up destroying glass and ceramic. My subconscious must enjoy that distinctive shattering noise." With a huff, she also admitted, "It's also rather tiring. You definitely didn't catch me at my best."

He smirked, agreeing, "That's much more on point with the lesson. Magic, as much as it's glorified, is a tool. Relying on only one tool will see you helpless when it fails." He cleaned his dagger and then made it vanish up the same sleeve from which it was produced.

Mina was actually quite sleepy. She had been since she woke. In fact, if it hadn't been for the summons from Dumbledore, she would've gone straight from the Hospital Wing to her own lovely bed.

But, with her insomnia, that could've just been a massive tease. Many a night she'd collapsed onto her mattress already dead tired but still ended up lying awake until morning. Even with a half hour under the lake and her struggles afterward, there was no guarantee Mina was going to be sleeping any time in the next few days.

"I have a proposition," declared Fabian, "You're not happy with this protective detail, and Merlin knows the rest of us aren't thrilled with being stuck here or with your methods of making your displeasure known. But it's looking like the situation is going to remain the same for at least another week. There's no reason we can't try to spend that time doing something a little more constructive than torturing each other."

Blinking groggily as her body finally began to stop trembling so much, Mina challenged, "What exactly did you have in mind?"

He smirked, answering, "I heard about your extra credit projects. Outside of behavioral issues, all your professors are quite impressed with you-"

Mina snorted. "Right," she argued, "I'll give you _some_, but _all_ is a little much. Slughorn hasn't quit glaring at me since the boomslang incident... what happened to Gustav, by the way?"

"I arranged to have him displayed at the London Zoo until Slughorn pays the fines and acquires the proper licenses and permits," Fabian said, smirking, "Did you choose what projects you want to do yet?"

With as much of a smile as her frozen form could produce, Mina announced, "Kettleburn thinks I can already start training for my class-3 license and maybe take the test during Christmas break. Sprout conned me into tutoring a couple of failing students in exchange for Taishi Mountain Yao Grass seeds. I was already in the middle of learning some basic curse-breaking, so I'm going to turn in essays to Flitwick and Lindquist and see if they'll help me with a bit of practical experience. I also might build a few telescopes for Varela."

McGonagall had actually suggested that Mina begin learning how to become an Animagus—the Holy Grail of Transfiguration—and the professor seemed tentatively confident that the girl would accomplish the momentous feat in time for graduation. Since Mina couldn't very well laugh and brag that she'd been an Animagus for years already, she had to merely express a desire to concentrate on Care, Herbology, Charms, Runes, and Astronomy for the time being.

Nodding, Fabian agreed, "And Occlumency, of course. Quite the skill set you're amassing, but they're all a bit... academic. My idea was to put you through some auror training exercises. I mean, if you're so set on not sleeping and not being confined to the Tower at night, then I certainly don't want to sit outside it with my thumb up my arse."

"That's one way to keep yourself entertained during stakeouts," Mina chuckled. She thought hard for a few moments, coming to the conclusion that there was no real reason to turn down the proposal. More training was never a bad thing, and it wasn't like Mina didn't have the time for it. Although she was a bit uneasy by all the sudden offers of mentorship, her independent studies would probably progress even faster now that she no longer had to puzzle out every single concept and ability on her own.

(The fact that she'd already come up with several excellent pranks after just one meeting with the Ancient Runes professor certainly spoke volumes about the wisdom of accepting help where she could get it.)

But Mina wasn't intrigued enough not to ask, "Why? You must realize you'll probably end up teaching me tactics I can use to avoid you more efficiently."

Though he rolled his eyes, Fabian still answered rather good-naturedly. "I'm actually looking forward to the escape and evade exercises," he explained, "You have a real knack for thinking outside the box. It's been frustrating but a nice refresher for us."

She had to fight the urge to preen.

"And in exchange for training, I'll want your word that you'll remain on school grounds from now until the protective detail ends, even when you do manage to slip away from your guard."

Mina blinked at him. Then scowled. There was always a catch.

"The grounds," Fabian went on, "Include everything inside the wards. I'm sure you know what kind of area that encompasses. You'll have plenty of room to roam."

The castle and lawns, the lake, a good chunk of the forest...

Slowly, the thought dawned on Mina that the aurors had decided to invite themselves to her game. And that the game might be a bit more fun if she wasn't the only person playing, even if she did have to concede a few new rules...

"It's a deal," she said, forcing her numb mouth into a menacing smile.

A split second later, the warming charm, the chair, and the lovely quilt disappeared, leaving Mina to splat right back into the cold, gelatinous mud.

She honestly could've murdered Fabian, if only for the very practical desire to cut him open and use his carcass like a squishy red sleeping bag.

Towering over her, the enormous auror grinned. His broad, freckled face remained shadowed but clearly amused. "Good," he agreed, "Now, do you want to head back and sleep?"

_I'd barter your soul for a feather pillow_, she mentally roared, stubbornly snarling, "No."

"Then get up off your arse," Fabian taunted, "We're going to run until you do."

xxXxx

"James," Lily called, frowning as she blocked the boy's path through the hallway, "Where's Mina? She escaped the infirmary again, and Madame Mary has been trying to track her down all day."

The bespectacled teen exchanged a wary, almost nervous look with Black before answering, "She's asleep."

Huffing in annoyance, Lily argued, "That tells me her state of being, not her current location."

Black snorted and avoided eye contact.

"She's fine, Lily," said James, "I promise. And she really is asleep, which is what Madame Mary was going to make her do anyways. It's the only treatment for magical exhaustion."

Lily's eyebrows vaulted toward her hairline. "Magical exhaustion? I thought she burned herself!"

Black immediately yanked James into a headlock, muffling the scrawnier teen's reply. "Nothing to worry about," Black insisted, "Mina's fine." He flashed a charming, attempting-to-appear-innocent grin.

Lily glared in response, knowing damn well that Lupin wasn't asleep in her own bed. Not that that stopped the girl from tracking mud through the dorm at four in the morning. "Madame Mary wants to check her over," the redhead declared, "And if Lupin is suffering magical exhaustion, then it's very important that she rests-"

"Which she is," interrupted James. He was difficult to understand with his mouth mashed into Black's armpit.

"-And doesn't do anything stressful," the girl finished, still glaring, "Such as whatever she was doing last night that had her coming back late and looking like some swamp monster."

"I think you mean lake monster," Black corrected.

Lily blinked at him for a moment before exploding, "She was in the lake?! In the middle of the bloody night?! While suffering magical exhaustion?! What is wrong with you lot?! Don't you have any common sense at all?!"

The boys, seeming appropriately cowed, shuffled and stared at their feet for a while before James muttered, "Prewett was with her. And whatever they did finally got her to sleep. She's been zonked out for _hours_. I don't think she's slept this long without potions or injuries in _years_."

Gaping seemed like the only reasonable response.

"We're looking after her," James pledged, "And we're going to take her to the nurse when she wakes." He glanced up through obscenely long lashes, expression heartfelt and vaguely wounded. "We'd never let Mina really hurt herself."

Lily spluttered. "Of course not- that's not what- I wasn't-" She scowled. "Where. Is. Mina."

"An excellent qvestion."

They all turned in time to observe the most vampiric of professors emerging from a nearby shadow. Lily couldn't help shivering in instinctive terror, cursing the woman's unnatural stealth.

"I vould also like to exchange a few vords vith Miss Lupin," Lazarov murmured.

Aristocratic features twisting into an expression of haughty annoyance, Black murmured, "And I'd like to know what you meant about that _people like Miss Lupin_ comment."

Angular face set in a usual half-sneer, Lazarov paused several minutes before finally hissing, "I do not owe you an explanation, boy. I certainly vill not discuss the private business of my student before I have even spoken to her on the subject." The menacing look in her dark eyes brooked no further argument.

With a heavy sigh, Black admitted, "Mina is asleep in our dorm. We'll tell her that you want to talk to her."

Lazarov gave a permissive nod and then glided away.

Lily had no idea what just happened.

Since the boys had apparently been looking for the professor in the first place, they decided to return to their dorm. Lily followed, prying more information out of the pair of Marauders. The entire story was shocking, but the most shocking bit (even more so than Mina threatening and blackmailing the headmaster) had to be the part where Mina ended up snuggling with Peter Pettigrew.

"We're pretty sure she was just so tired that she crawled into the wrong bed," James whispered as they looked down at the odd sight, "And she refuses to let go of him. Been that way all bloody day."

Mina continued to snooze, blissfully unaware of the look of awkward panic on her unwilling bedmate's flushed, podgy face.

"Guys," the human teddy bear hissed, squirming within his cage of deceptively strong limbs, "It's not funny. Get her off me. I have to piss."

Remus didn't bother looking up from his Arithmancy book as he ordered, "Hold it.

xxXxx

"Miss Lupin."

Mina stood too fast and whacked her head on the underside of the heavy oak table. "OW! Son of a-"

"Think very carefully about how you want to finish that sentence," McGonagall scolded, the prim Scot hovering as her student crawled out into the open.

Still rubbing her sore skull, Mina climbed to her feet and grimaced, "Is not finishing it an option? I doubt I could come up with anything that wouldn't land me in detention."

The professor smirked. Just the tiniest bit. "Of course, dear," she replied, "Now, please explain why you're in here alone."

Mina took a long look around at the transformed Great Hall, the stage and dance floor, the groups of small round tables pushed closer to the walls. The enchanted decorations—ghouls and skeletons and jack-o-lanterns—swooped and rattled and cackled while the bewitched ceiling rumbled with an ominous lightning storm. "Well," the girl explained, "Since I was doing most of the casting anyways, I told the others they could leave and start getting dressed. I'm nearly through."

Though she didn't seem happy that Mina's "punishment" wasn't being properly supervised by the seventh-year prefects (not to mention the Head Boy and Girl), McGonagall sighed, "Yes, I see. Excellent work, Miss Lupin, but you shouldn't exert yourself. Madame Mary prescribed much more rest to aid in your recovery."

"I'm _fine_," insisted Mina. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes; after sleeping nearly sixteen hours straight—drooling through Pete's shirt and nearly making the poor lad burst his bladder—she had decided that she'd had quite enough of _rest_. And she really did feel alright.

"You should be getting dressed as well," said McGonagall, "You are to welcome the musical entertainment in twenty minutes. They are coming through the floo in the headmaster's office." Perhaps sensing Mina's impending tirade, the professor added, "Headmaster Dumbledore has been detained at the Wizengamot and suggested that I stand in to help you host our guests until he can return."

The relief was almost overwhelming. Mina hadn't seen Dumbledore since she delivered her ultimatums and wasn't sure how she would react to the man. Despite everything, she wanted to believe that he wasn't as overtly manipulative as her more paranoid side suspected. Remus certainly adored him, if only for the fact that the old bastard had been so helpful in allowing her brother to attend Hogwarts in the first place. The Lupin family owed Dumbledore an enormous debt but, as far as Mina was concerned, not enough to slavishly bend to his every whim.

"I have my costume with me," Mina announced, "If you let me stop off in the toilet for a few minutes, I'll change on the way to the office."

Again, the professor seemed amused. "I can simply meet you there if you need more time."

Mina shrugged. "Nah. Mac is on a makeup-and-hair-care rampage. I managed to divert her toward more willing targets, but I'd rather not risk turning her attention back onto me."

Chuckling, McGonagall declared, "Alright then, Miss Lupin. Let me know when you're ready to leave."

The sandy-haired she-wolf saluted and then disappeared again under the last of the festively festooned tables that needed a rune set carved into the bottom. She was particularly tickled by the idea of setting up a prank with McGonagall standing and waiting patiently less than a yard away. Of course, that probably meant that Mina wouldn't be getting away clean, but she didn't much care. What she had planned wouldn't likely warrant a detention.

McGonagall didn't say much when they finally left together, or on the first part of the walk. The prim teacher only commented after Mina speedily changed into her costume. "Lovely, Miss Lupin," she said with a smile, "It's always nice to see someone pay homage to the classics."

Mina grinned and twirled, adjusting her bow and quiver of arrows. "Thanks, Professor."

The meeting with the Hobgoblins went smoothly. Stubby Boardman was surprisingly polite for a minor rockstar. The drummer, however, was a massive perv who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. Mina would've broken them, but then the bastard wouldn't be able to play, so she had to slate that item for later in the evening.

After helping set the band up in the antechamber of the Great Hall (a sort of improvised green room, stocked with copious snacks and butterbeer and a dedicated house-elf to cater to their needs while the roadie elves dealt with the equipment and instruments), McGonagall pulled Mina aside and bluntly stated, "I realize that you've been going through a lot lately, and I know that you aren't in a particularly trusting mood, but I'm always available to help you, even if it's just providing a sympathetic ear."

Mina peered up at the woman and saw the sincerity in her dark eyes. Sighing, the girl answered, "Thanks, I appreciate that." _But I have no intention of taking you up on the offer. If I can't even make my own fucking friends listen to me, then what hope do I have of persuading you?_ "I'm supposed to meet Sirius soon."

"Alright, dear," McGonagall agreed, "Run along then. Just... don't be too hard on the headmaster. He really does try to do what he believes is best."

_That's part of the problem. Maybe if he doubted his own brilliance every once in a while, the thought might occur to him that he is _not _the all-knowing, all-seeing master of the universe and that I don't have to do whatever he says just because he's the one who said it_.

Leaving before her mouth got her into trouble, Mina ran the entire way to the Tower, quite glad she'd decided to forgo high heels in favor of practical flat-soled sandals. She passed McDougal going the other direction and couldn't help being disappointed that the stuffy Ravenclaw chose stuffy gray dress robes and a plain mask rather than a proper costume.

_Bo-ring_.

Pete was in the process of leaving the portrait hole (probably on his way to meet Yvette Kemp). His pirate costume was quite a bit fancier than last time, complete with knee-high boots, ruffled shirt, gold-buttoned red frock coat, tri-corner feathered hat, and even a transfigured live parrot squawking on his shoulder. The roguish goatee and hint of dark eye makeup were probably Mac's doing, but the lad didn't seem too upset about either. After quickly looking Mina over, he smiled and inquired, "What're you supposed to be?"

"Guess," she laughed. When he didn't, Mina pecked him on the cheek (just to get him embarrassed and flustered) and bounced past with a call of, "I'm sure it'll come to you."

The remaining Marauders had their heads together near the fireplace, whispering fiercely and probably waiting on their still absent dates. Remus and James looked handsome as Max from _Where the Wild Things Are_ and "Dangerous" Dai Llewellyn from the Caerphilly Catapults, respectively, but Mina only had eyes for Sirius, who had chosen to imitate Freddie Mercury (though with much longer hair).

"Damn," she murmured, solemnly thanking any deity listening for the existence of skin-tight dragon-hide trousers and all the quidditch exercises that had resulted in such a fit bum to fill them with. The missing shirt and fetching red suspenders certainly didn't hurt the picture.

The object of her blatant ogling didn't notice. Neither did the other boys, for that matter, which gave Mina the opportunity to sneak up on them. She caught the tail end of their conversation—"Can't bloody _believe_ we forgot-"—before leaping out from behind a couch and shouting, "BOO!"

xxXxx

"Fuck," Sirius breathlessly groaned, eyes glued to the otherworldly vision beside him. The style of the dress screamed _goddess_, but the lad's spluttering brain couldn't identify which one specifically.

Mina beamed, her face and neck painted with dark green leaves and twining vines rather than covered by a mask. Her hair looked wild and windswept, devilishly disheveled. Billowing, sheer white fabric spilled over her bare shoulders and halfway down her thighs, cinched around her waist by a wide leather belt. She wore a short bow slung across her back, the taut string crossing between her bountiful breasts. Greek-style sandals laced up her slender calves and finished the ensemble.

"Artemis," Remus chuckled. He nodded in greeting to his sister.

She stuck her tongue out at him before replying, "Person who refused to be my Apollo."

Still stupidly trying to form coherent thoughts, let alone sentences, Sirius insisted, "I could've-"

"Ew, no," Mina cut him off, wrinkling her painted nose, "Artemis and Apollo are brother and sister. Twins. That's the only reason I asked Moony, but he was all squeamish about wearing a toga."

Oh. Ya. That probably wouldn't be a very good couple costume. Well, maybe for some of the more backward pure-bloods...

_'Ew' indeed_.

Still giggling, startlingly blue eyes blazing with unrestrained delight, Mina continued, "Though a scruffy wolf costume is apparently no problem... you certainly make an excellent Max."

Sirius really didn't get that; Remus told them that it was a character from some muggle children's book, but, quite frankly, he looked a bit ridiculous in his oversized feetie pajamas, long furry tail, and clunky gold crown.

Not effortlessly cool like James in his quidditch robes or Sirius in his tight trousers.

"And Artemis fits you quite well, Sunny," Remus agreed, "Goddess of the hunt, the forest, and the moon. Familiars include the stag-" he glanced pointedly at James "-and the hound." The look Sirius received wasn't quite as friendly but graciously resigned.

Mina stepped closer to her date, twining their arms together and laughing, "Well, I certainly thought so. Anyways, what did you idiots forget?"

The three lads communicated silently for a few moments. Somehow, Sirius was elected to deliver the bad news. "We forgot to set a prank for the Ball," he grudgingly admitted, "We were all so busy, and worried, and-"

"Oh, that," Mina quipped, waving off the concerns, "I took care of that."

Of course she had. Because she truly was a goddess in every way that counted.

"What did you do?" James demanded eagerly.

But Mina just shook her head. "Not telling. Anyways, where's Mac? Isn't she done being all girlie yet?"

"You say that like I didn't help you come up with your face-painting charm," interrupted the keeper in question. She moved slowly down the stairs, every step marked by the sound of small tinkling bells sewn onto the hems of her many layered, many colored skirts and scarves. Mary grinned a sultry grin, looking every bit the dark, mysterious gypsy.

Sirius didn't feel nearly as bad about his reaction to Mina when he saw Remus practically swallow his own tongue.

Tia Jones, as a pretty little princess, and Suzi Kemp, as a tiny ninja, flounced down behind her and scurried to join their dates. Since Tia wasn't even close to tall enough to accept his arm, James offered his hand instead, and black-haired beauty flushed happily. Seeing Suzi awkwardly greet fourth-year seeker Gerald Walker was a surprise but not a big one; the entire House had noticed Walker getting all stuttery and stupid around Suzi, but no one thought he'd have the guts to ask the younger girl out.

Evans emerged in attractive but generic green dress robes and a Mardi-Gras-inspired half-mask.

"No costume, Lily?" James joked as their group set off.

She shook her head. "No," the girl replied, forcing a smile, "Hamish said he wouldn't be bothering with one, so I thought it'd look silly if I did."

There were eye rolls from the Marauders as Sirius argued, "In other words, you let his boringness drag you down."

Evans huffed, clearly displeased by the interpretation of facts. Though oddly she didn't bother denying it.

xxXxx

By the time Lily found her date, he looked quite murderous. "Where's Lupin?" Hamish growled. His normally tidy dark hair was in disarray, but the young man certainly didn't wear the style with quite as much dignity and charm as-

Blushing, cutting off her traitorous thoughts before they could travel too far down that spectacle- and dungbomb-ridden road, Lily replied, "I assume you mean Mina. She and her lot went to talk to the band."

Lily immediately found herself being dragged in what she assumed was that direction. Before she could get over the shock of being practically manhandled, they arrived in the antechamber of the Great Hall. Lily had never before been inside the small stone room and was surprised to see that it looked like a classy backstage lounge. She wondered if it always looked the same or had been changed specifically for that night.

"Lupin," Hamish spat, sputtering with annoyance when both twins turned rather sarcastically, "Mina. Whatever. What do you think you're playing at? You changed the entire menu! Nobody is going to want to eat any of this!"

Artfully painted face betraying utter amusement, Mina took the menu card out of Hamish's hand and turned it over. "Actually," the girl drawled, "I just added a few things. All the dishes you chose will also be available."

The Marauders, the Hobgoblins, Mary, Tia, and Yvette all snickered at Hamish's obvious embarrassment.

Being made to look like even more of a rampaging fool certainly didn't do much to calm the Head Boy. "Well, who gave you the right-"

"The whole point of the Ball was to make Professor Lazarov feel welcome," Mina challenged, "Why, then, did you not think to serve a single item she could actually eat?"

Hamish flipped the menu once more, and Lily got a look at the additions he was so upset over: sushi appetizers, ceviche salad course, and beef carpaccio for the main. Raw meats were pretty much the only sort of food vampires were able to stomach, and even then, most usually didn't bother. Mina had probably checked with the house-elves to see what Professor Lazarov preferred.

"Is that all?" the Artemis demanded, stance brash and bold as ever.

"No, I-" stammered Hamish, clearly trying to salvage a scrap of authority, "You didn't have to add to the menu. I'm sure the professor is used to sorting her own meals."

Mina rolled her eyes. "Not very hospitable. Besides, I'm quite eager to try some exotic new cuisine, and I have to believe there will be a decent number of others adventurous enough to do the same. What's your problem anyway? I was just covering your arse."

Hamish flushed. "Listen, you," he began, steadily increasing Lily's vicarious mortification, "You were only involved in this as a punishment in the first place! Going behind my back is-"

The Marauders all performed perfectly synced, grossly exaggerated yawns.

Fortunately, Hamish gave up on acting like a pompous idiot and stalked back into the Great Hall.

Even Lily, who felt bad for her date, had a hard time holding in a laugh as she followed. But before she stepped out the door, the girl heard Mina chuckle, "Shit, if he's that upset about the bloody menu, I can't wait to see his face when I set off the real prank."

xxXxx

Despite Remus's concerns about his sister overtaxing her recovering magic, Mina's prank went forward exactly as scheduled.

The girl watched the last of the guests take their seats in anticipation of dinner, and she slyly reached beneath her own table to press her wand against the first of the activation runes.

Shrieks of surprise echoed around the Hall as safety harnesses sprang out of every chair and secured the inhabitants.

Mina smirked at her bewildered friends before pressing the next rune, which started all the tables spinning in place with their occupants in tow.

As the speed gathered and the shrieks turned mainly to laughter, Mina pressed the last rune.

And, still spinning, the tables began to hurl themselves wildly around the room, at first just along the floor, but, as the twirling got faster and faster, each cluster of students rode their chosen seating straight up the walls and then onto the ceiling.

Arms flung wide, Mina cackled and enjoyed the dizzying sensation.

Only a few minutes after the spinning began (no need to make anyone vomit, after all, which was also why she chose _before_ dinner for the deed), the tables all swung back to their original places and stopped with a quiet _clunk_. The giggling and excited shouts took a lot longer to die down, and Mina was left to bask in the glow of a job well done.

Meals were ordered and delivered, and dinner proceeded normally. Soon couples were wandering onto the dance floor and enjoying Stubby Boardman's surprisingly serene crooning.

Mina and Sirius didn't talk too much, quite content to hold each other close and sway in time to the music. The girl sighed and rested her head against her boyfriend's bare chest. He pressed a kiss into her hair.

"May I cut in?"

They turned and stared blankly at the headmaster. If she hadn't been trying so hard not to laugh aloud at his flamboyant pink-and-silver robes, Mina probably would've told him to piss off. But, alas, she hesitated too long and soon found herself dancing quite stiffly with the tall old man.

While trying to lead her into an overformal waltz, Dumbledore commented, "That was an impressive spectacle with the tables. And Professor Lindquist is quite thrilled about the rune work. Although Mr. McDougal and Miss Zabat are upset that you didn't clear it with them."

Mina snorted and rolled her eyes. "Everyone loved it," she argued, "If those two had their way, this would've been the dullest ball in all of history."

"Nevertheless," he responded, "I'm afraid I can't let a complaint like this one go unanswered."

Merlin. He could be such a ridiculous _windbag_. "Do your worst, Headmaster. As always, I'll accept any punishment I feel is fair."

Frowning down at her, Dumbledore responded, "My dear, that isn't quite how discipline works-"

"Oh?" Mina challenged, "So the accused has no rights of appeal? You alone are the last word on all matters of justice?"

He sighed heavily. "Mina," the headmaster drawled, "I am not trying to start a fight."

"Yet you began this conversation with how you were going to punish me for a harmless, nearly universally enjoyable act of magic. Which, by the way, I'm certain isn't against a single school rule. The only thing that's been hurt is the pride of two morons who could use the lesson in humility. If they weren't so busy trying to impose their will on others, then maybe they might actually notice that _everyone_ is having fun."

Another sigh. Dumbledore switched subjects, murmuring, "I would like to apologize, dear. Looking back on our earlier discussions, I can understand that in my zeal to provide the help you need, I may have... come on a bit too strong. I realize you must have some issues with trusting authority figures and relinquishing control."

Mina shrugged, inwardly acknowledging truth in the observation. But it was hardly the root or scope of her protests. "Sir," she declared, "Until you add _Supreme Dictator_ to your long list of titles, you should remember that I am still perfectly within my rights to say no to you, especially when it involves strangers with pure-blood surnames mucking around in my brain."

"Nevertheless," he answered a bit peevishly, "It is vitally important that we discover the truth about your potential injuries and abilities. Perhaps we can work together to devise a plan that is acceptable to both of us."

"One that doesn't include me disappearing into the Department of Mysteries forever," Mina drawled.

"That is a bit of an exaggeration-"

"Is it?" the girl snapped, "Did you happen to notice the way those Unspeakables were looking at me after they saw the blank memory? If they found something interesting enough, I have no doubt I'd never see daylight again. And you wanted to indefinitely turn me over to them. No, sir. There is no way in hell I'm setting foot in that department. At least not without a small army to watch my back... how does one go about hiring mercenaries, I wonder?"

Dumbledore huffed disapprovingly. "Please, do try to take this seriously."

Returning a scowl, Mina argued, "I take my freedom _very_ seriously."

The old man's expression remained solemn but vaguely annoyed. "I am sure the Unspeakables won't object to conducting the examination here at the school," he declared, "But I would ask you to defer to their judgment on exactly what that examination should entail."

"Which would be?" Mina demanded.

"They would like to attempt another memory extraction," Dumbledore listed, "To see if they can repeat the incident with the blank one. A legilimency probe is certainly warranted-"

"Can't Professor Lazarov do that?" interrupted Mina, "She's already going to end up inside my head at some point for Occlumency practice. I'd rather not issue more guest passes than strictly necessary."

From the way the headmaster blinked in surprise, Mina guessed that he hadn't even thought of that possibility. "Actually," the girl continued, just to kick him while he was down, "If you'd suggested her in the first place, I don't think I would've had nearly as much of a problem with it. She has yet to lie to me or try to manipulate me for her own ends."

Dumbledore coughed, "Yes, well... I'm glad you and the professor are getting along so famously. I will ask for her assistance... There is another matter. Your petition for new guardianship has interfered with the investigation into who altered your medical records."

"The people you already let look can have access," Mina conceded, "But no one else. And I want to know right away what they find."

Looking rather pleased with himself, Dumbledore replied, "Of course, Mina. Currently, the Unspeakables have narrowed their list down to three suspects. All worked at St. Mungo's in 1965. All were close friends of your grandmother and had enough seniority to access the master records. That is why no one noticed the irregularities during your other stays. The changes don't show up on summoned copies but couldn't be completely erased from the masters."

"Huh," mused Mina, trying to think of who the three suspects might be... but as far as she knew, Grandmother Lupin didn't have very many friends. Certainly none that could be called _close friends_... then again, Mina was also beginning to once again realize (with a sharp stab of guilt) that there was a lot about her grandmother's life the girl had just never bothered to learn.

Fortunately, the song ended, and Ed Bones approached Mina for a dance. A quick glance toward Sirius revealed that he was taking a spin with Tia (the giggling princess balanced preciously on the tops of his feet), so Mina accepted.

More boys than she expected ended up asking for the same privilege. Remus, James, and Pete were all givens; even Delwyn Jones, Zane Creevy, and Gerald Walker weren't too unexpected, since they were her quidditch teammates, nor were Benjy Fenwick, Ernest Macmillan, and Robert Little, since she was on friendly terms with them; however, by that time the pace of the songs had picked up tremendously, and Mina was able to graciously turn down subsequent invites from undesirables like Caradoc Dearborn, Carmine Brown, Drip Fawcett, Aksel Augustine, Warren Grover, and even Marty "It's _Barty!_" Crouch by begging off with a need to sit and rehydrate.

But that didn't last long. Sirius found her and flashed those dangerously adorable puppy eyes of his in order to get Mina right back on the dance floor. She figured it was as good a time as any to spring another surprise and, with a concealed wave of her wand, prompted the two dozen animated skeletons throughout the room to drag random wallflowers into a flurried tango.

For the most part, the tango victims took the prank in stride; only Hamish McDougal seemed visibly irritated, but since he should've been dancing with his date instead of pouting by the punch bowl, Mina felt no sympathy.

She also used the distraction as an opportunity to steer Sirius back into the small antechamber. It was still decked out as a green room, and the two teens took advantage of the comfortable couch to begin what would've been a marvelous snog. Once again, Mina resolved to try her hand (metaphorically speaking) at blowjobs.

"Miss Lupin."

With a mortifying squeak, Mina flailed and flopped to the floor. She mourned yet another bruise on her perfect backside and glared up at the vampire professor standing in a shadowed corner.

Raising a razor thin eyebrow, Lazarov drawled, "Are you not enjoying the Ball? I know much of the effort vas your own."

"No, it's great," Mina agreed, hauling herself back onto the couch, stretching languidly before leaning into Sirius's embrace, "We were just... uh... taking a break."

Lazarov remained somber but amused. "Indeed."

"The professor asked to speak with you, Sunny," Sirius blurted out. He shifted guiltily, adding, "She knows something more about the bracelet thing. How you got burned and all. But she wouldn't tell us before she talked to you."

Subconsciously gripping the shiny pink ring of scar tissue still slowly fading from her left wrist, Mina responded, "Fabian already told me what happened-"

"But not _vhy_, Miss Lupin," Lazarov interrupted, "Though rare, your particular... condition is not vithout precedent. I believe I have correctly interpreted the symptoms."

Mina didn't really like the sound of that but was too curious not to desire more information. "And?"

The professor paused, briefly, as she considered. "I do not vish to spoil your evening."

"It's fine," Mina huffed, "I got to see the whirling tables and dance a bit. That's all I planned to stay for anyways." She left out the fact that leaving, smoking, and snogging with Sirius were scheduled next, in no particular order.

But still, Lazarov held off on providing her oh-so-important speech. "Ve should discuss the matter privately-"

"He's either going to find out anyways or hound me until I tell him," the girl sighed, sparing her smirking boyfriend a fond but exasperated glance, "All my friends are nosy little bastards."

Beaming, Sirius smacked a wet, noisy kiss onto her cheek. "I love you, too, Sunshine," he cooed.

Despite her best efforts, Mina could not completely hold off an insistent blush.

xxxxxxxxxx

Ta-da. Family issues are ongoing, but I finally got this out for you guys, complete with horribly cruel cliffhanger, mwahaha. I am hard at work on and almost finished with the next chapter, so I'll have that for you hopefully soon. For the spinning tables, envision a teacup ride, if a teacup ride could go onto the walls and ceiling. I think it would be awesome.

Reviews are encouraged and appreciated and pretty much my reason for living at the moment ;)


	36. Theories and Things

Part 36 – Theories and Things

"Before ve begin, you should be avare of some background information," Lazarov explained, "Firstly, vhy Hogvarts exists." The professor waved her wand, and the deep, steady thrum of music and chatter inside the Great Hall ceased, leaving the antechamber/temporary green room jarringly quiet.

Mina desperately held in a ridiculous guffaw. "Wow," she remarked, sinking against Sirius's side and farther into the squashy couch cushions, "A bit broad, but ok. I'll bite. Why does Hogwarts exist?"

Though not pleased with the tone, Lazarov conjured a chair and lowered herself into it before responding, "Vhen it vas originally built, the castle vas a haven for magicals to learn in safety, vithout fear of being discovered by pitchfork- and torch-happy muggles of the time. Families or regional schools attempting to educate smaller groups vere far too vulnerable to detection, and there vere many tragedies. The founders, having decided to construct a centralized fortress, scoured several continents for the ideal location. They built Hogvarts on top of three intersecting ley lines. The purpose vas to tap into the Earth's own magic to super-power the vards and keep muggles entirely avay from not only the school but all the surrounding land. By doing so, the founders greatly increased the overall ambient magic of an already powerful area."

Mina's jaw dropped open. Fuck's sake. Why didn't they ever teach _that_ in History of Magic? Even the Arithmancy classes could probably do an entire year on the subject! "Hogwarts is an incubator," she murmured softly, mostly speaking to herself, "The magic of the ley lines... no wonder they call this enchanted ground. It's a magical reservoir, fed from three different sources and amplified by the founders' wards."

Lazarov nodded, satisfied with her student's knowledge. "That is, of course, the reason for the specific age reqvirements to attend," she added, "As vell as vhy positions at the school are so highly prized and vhy establishing new schools, vhich vould provide more educational opportunities and more jobs, never gained popularity, even after the threat from muggles lessened. The powerful magical field, strengthened by centuries-old enchantments, cannot be duplicated, and consistent exposure increases individual magical power. Vitches and vizards in early and late adolescence are most easily able to absorb the ambient energy. To a point, of course. Most are pushed as close as possible to their innate potential before they leave here. A lucky few are stretched slightly beyond innate potential, but it is a difficult thing to actually influence and usually takes a great deal of study and some qvestionable rituals."

"Sure," Mina said with a nod, "Like height. A person might be born with the potential to grow to a certain height, but they won't unless conditions actually nurture the growth to its fullest extent. That's why those living in developing nations are often statistically shorter than the rest of the world. Their bodies might be born just as capable, but without ideal diet and environment throughout their lives, especially during formative years, they can end up stunted." With a rather nervous feeling brewing in her gut, the girl continued, "Of course, some people are born with overactive pituitary glands, which can override normal height restrictions. Those people end up with gigantism, and their bodies grow at an out-of-control rate, to an enormous size. So much so that the growth negatively affects their health and significantly shortens their lifespans..."

Sirius's heavy arm tightened around her.

Actually appearing a bit impressed, Lazarov commented, "A fitting comparison, Lupin. And it brings me to the second piece of background information you should know: the capacity of magic to heal itself and its vessel. Magic has the ability to protect its host vhenever possible, and most of our healing methods are simply vays to encourage innate magic to act more qvickly and efficiently in such endeavors. This is vhy ve do not offer our medicine to muggles. Some low-level spells and potions can be of use to them, but any meaningful healing cannot be undertaken vithout vitches or vizards donating the necessary power from their own reserves, a system not sustainable on a mass scale since muggles outnumber us by the hundreds of thousands. Because of this, vhat ve can do for muggles is limited."

"Symbiosis theory," Sirius contributed, just because he seemed far too anxious not to contribute, "It's never been very widely accepted but says that magic needs a host to exist in any meaningful, somewhat sentient form. Therefore, it's in magic's best interest to keep its host alive and healthy. That's why we live longer and don't get sick as often."

Lazarov nodded. "Correct, Mr. Black. Magic vill heal its host to the extent it is able. Most permanent injuries are a result of curses, vhich are classified as curses _because_ they block magic from healing the injury. This is vhy limbs that have been severed in accidents can usually be reattached and occasionally regrown but limbs severed by curses have no such hope. However, in life or death situations, vhether illness or a non-instantaneous fatal injury, all magic vill be spent. A sort of... eh... last resort, yes? A built in life support. The magic cannot exist vithout the host, but the host can exist vithout magic, so the host body is priority. In old age, vitches and vizards experience diminished power because more of their magic is being channeled to keep their physical bodies functioning."

The professor paused, briefly, her dark stare eerie and vaguely predatory. Though Mina didn't think she was doing it on purpose; Lazarov _was_ a predator, and that was a difficult trait to consistently suppress.

"Prolonged Cruciatus exposure is the other most vell-known example," said the vampire, "The brain and spinal cord are delicate structures, and nervous system injuries take immense amounts of energy to heal properly. Since the curse also attacks and drains the victim's magic, there is usually not enough left to save anything. The victim is essentially turned into a sqvib who no longer possesses the magic reqvired to respond to the aggressive treatment that vould be needed to reverse the harm. This is also vhy magical exhaustion is such a dangerous thing."

Mina scowled at the dig. "I'm fine," she insisted, for what felt like the hundredth time, "Honestly, I slept for _ages_, and now I feel great."

Chuckling (a soft, spine-chilling noise), Lazarov agreed, "Yes, I am sure you do. And that brings us to vhat I believe is the problem you are facing. The most likely scenario is that, at a young age, your body and mind suffered severe damage at the same time, possibly from a curse, probably to a degree from vhich you could not have recovered. In the majority of cases, your magic vould have exhausted itself trying to heal the injuries, leaving you a sqvib at best, insane, comatose, or dead at vorst, depending on how severe the mental trauma vas and how much of your mind could be saved before the magic ran out."

Well. Wasn't that a fluffy thought...

"Fortunately," Lazarov went on, "Something contained the damage. It is possible that you subconsciously erected a rudimentary protective barrier on your own. Abused children have been known to spontaneously conjure such protections against physical or emotional harm they expect is coming. It is also vhat makes them superior Occlumencers later in life."

Mina squirmed, unable to even glance at Sirius, immensely glad that she couldn't detect any hint of coddling or pity from the professor.

In fact, Lazarov remained downright clinical. "The other possibility is that another person vas able to intervene in time to isolate the damage. Healers must do this in cases of irreversible curses to prevent the victim's magic from expending itself entirely in futile efforts, but placing mental blocks is rare. In either case, you vere saved from lasting effects, and your body vas able to recover. Having no memory of vhat caused such severe trauma, your mind vas also saved. However, an injury you vere not strong enough to heal as a child vould not necessarily remain irreversible, and if the barrier vas not properly placed, either by you or another, it could prove to be somevhat permeable, allowing a trickle of healing magic through. You have had years now for your magic to build and act upon the damage, even to the point of steadily increasing your overall power level to accomplish the task. You claim lifelong insomnia, but it got vorse after you started Hogvarts, yes?"

Nodding mutely, Mina recalled third year, when she set the record of a week without sleep. How horrible and desperate she'd felt, so tired but completely unable to do anything about it. She'd started regularly taking the potion after but kept needing more and more to do any good; her current tolerance defied logic.

Barely waiting for positive acknowledgement, the thin vampire explained, "The onset of an expected power increase accompanying the beginning stages of puberty combined vith being around the strong ambient magic of the ley lines very likely allowed your body to absorb enough magic to successfully heal, at least to a more discernible degree. However, the barrier that prevented the damage from initially spreading now prevents proper communication between the two parts of your mind. Your magic does not know that it has healed the injury and conseqvently keeps trying to heal by absorbing yet more energy to push at the problem. Even vith your core stretched beyond vhat should've been its natural limits, your body cannot handle so much excess magic. This is the other end of the spectrum from magical exhaustion. Excess magic is known to cause restlessness, insomnia, sleep disturbances, and emotional and magical instability. Just as veakened magic is dangerous to the host body, so too is an overabundance."

"Magical gigantism," Mina whispered. If the situation hadn't been so terrifying, the concept might've been a little funny. "You... you said you recognized the signs... you've seen this before?"

The professor's tense grimace tensed further. "Yes," she murmured, "Long ago, I encountered a young man vith the same condition. He vas born a Parselmouth, but his _ignorant, repulsive_ parents-" She trailed off into what Mina assumed was Bulgarian swearing, continuing at it for quite some time before finally regaining her stoic control. "They attempted to destroy the ability vhen he vas young. They did so very, very poorly, and, as abilities of that nature are linked to cognitive function, shattered a large portion of his mind. He only survived by instinctively building the rudimentary barrier to contain the damage. As he grew older, he gradually healed and reached the point you are at now. Insomnia and excessive unstable magic. Vhen he vas able to sleep, he dreamed exclusively of screaming snakes, vhich only made sense after the fact. My colleagues and I vere able to discover the block and eventually help him remove it, vhich unlocked not only the healed Parselmouth ability, but also long-buried memories of the events surrounding the initial injury. He vas..."

She choked a bit, struggling over the emotions and recollections that went with the words. "I mentioned that abused or traumatized children often turn into skilled Occlumencers, yes? For this young man, the buried memories vere a great deal more... horrific than ve anticipated, and he could not cope vith having knowledge of them. He killed himself shortly after."

Mina blinked. She was only saved from complete shock by Sirius's arm once again tightening around her, this time almost painfully. But, as disturbing as that outcome was, the girl couldn't see it as too much of a threat to her. True, she might be in possession of repressed memories, but Mina didn't think there was anything she could find out that would make her want to kill herself. Kill others, sure, but not herself.

"Ok," she drawled, fidgeting in the artificial quiet of the antechamber. It was strange to imagine that the Halloween festivities were still going on inside the Great Hall, just beyond the chamber door. "So... what's the plan?"

Lazarov didn't seem particularly concerned, which also helped alleviate some of Mina's unease. Very plainly, the professor declared, "You vill continue vith Occlumency training until your mind is strong and protected enough to endure the kind of assault needed to find and take down the barrier. Ve von't know vhat ve are dealing vith until that is located and unlocked. I could probably do such a thing for you, but the results are much better vhen the victim takes part in the process. In the meantime, your excess magic can be managed. I believe you vill find that sleep comes much easier to you. It may even reduce some of your... less desirable personality traits."

Sirius snorted softly and very nearly got himself slapped.

xxXxx

Hamish bloody McDougal was such a self-absorbed arsehole. Lily couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before, but, then again, she had mainly interacted with the lad when he was calm and happy and getting everything he wanted. Including a chance to grope Lily's breasts.

The nonsense about the menus had been more than enough to put him in a foul mood. Lily understood that Mina Lupin could have that effect on people, but it was no excuse for him to spend the next several hours sulking and brooding and completely ignoring his date. No matter how much Lily tried, the dim-witted fool just wouldn't let it go. She was patient, but she wasn't about to hang around with someone who thought his own bruised ego was the most important subject on the planet.

And then those _stupid_ dancing skeletons. Merlin. So one of them dragged him into a tango. It was just a harmless bit of fun. So a few people chuckled at the spectacle. They were just enjoying the neat bit of magic; there was nothing even remotely malicious or mocking in any of the responses. Hamish hadn't even been singled out! But of course, instead of being a good sport like all the rest of the people who had danced with the animated bones (which Lily felt were entirely appropriate for a _Halloween Ball_), Hamish flew off the bloody handle, made a complete spectacle of himself, and then stormed off to "give Mina sodding Lupin a piece of his mind."

Lily barely bit back her own nasty retort: "Are you sure you can spare that much?"

Enthusiasm for the evening effectively squashed, feeling more than a little hurt at being disregarded so thoughtlessly, the redhead went back to the empty common room and threw herself onto the couch nearest to the cold hearth. After several minutes of wallowing, the girl remembered that the couch she had chosen unofficially belonged to the Marauders; it was the one they had charmed to store their snacks and contraband.

And a few nips out of James's flask sounded pretty damn good right about then, rules be damned.

Lily did as she had seen Mina do, reach between the cushions and feel around for treats. The redhead's questing fingers found cool metal, and, triumphant, she tried to retreat with her prize.

She couldn't get her arm free. Tugging gently, thinking maybe her sleeve had been snagged, Lily tried several more times before realizing that she was truly stuck. That, in all likelihood, she had fallen victim to a booby trap.

Not wanting to be found in such a state, the girl spent several more minutes ranting silently and trying to disengage whatever curse was responsible. She had no such luck and was still plotting a next move when the sound of the portrait swinging open echoed into the room.

Lily ducked down and held her breath.

"But I'm really not that..." the small voice trailed off into a huge yawn before finally finishing, "Sleepy."

James Potter's amused chuckle answered, his deep voice murmuring, "Of course, Tia, but McGonagall would be very disappointed if I didn't get my date to bed at a decent hour. Don't worry. You won't miss too much. The Ball will be over soon, and all the good stuff already happened anyways."

Giggling tiredly as she and her gallant escort crossed toward the staircases, Tia Jones replied, "Like the spinning tables. That was the bestest."

"I thought so, too. Tomorrow you can tell Mina again how much you liked it."

"I will... James?" There was a tentative, almost embarrassed note in the girl's inquiry.

"Yes, little one?"

Small feet scuffed worriedly against the carpet. "Thank you for taking me to the Ball. I hope nobody made fun of you too much. Indigo said that people were."

James chuckled and sounded like he had pulled Tia into a hug. "Don't worry. I really don't care if people make fun of me. Most of them aren't even very good at it. Once you've been teased by a real Marauder, nothing else compares. It's far more important that you had a good time. Now go on and get some sleep."

Tia hummed something in the affirmative before happily skipping off to bed.

Still hoping to remain unnoticed, Lily didn't risk moving as she listened to James stretch and yawn and travel back toward the portrait hole. She almost got away with it.

"_Oi! Colon nugget!_"

"Nope?" James called, coming to investigate the burst of profanity, which had unfortunately originated from beneath the couch. The bespectacled lad approached from behind, hunkering down and gently retrieving his friend's foul-mouthed pet. He eventually stood and noticed Lily's predicament.

She sagged in defeat.

"Uh," James said, peering down at her and obviously trying his hardest not to as much as smirk, "Hi. Everything alright?"

With an annoyed huff, Lily snapped, "No, everything is not! I'm stuck! What the hell were you thinking putting curses on items in the common room just to guard your snacks?"

"_COCK!_" the jarvey growled, bristling angrily.

James soothed the ferret-like beast with a scratch behind its ears. "Wasn't my idea," he claimed, "It was Mina's contribution to the project. Just a harmless anti-theft measure." Seemingly startled by a sudden flash of realization, he murmured, "Wait... you know about the snack sofa?"

"Yes, I know about your _secret stash_," Lily grumbled, "Mina showed me. But_ of course_ she neglected to mention this particular feature. Just help me already!... _please_!"

Flashing a charming yet apologetic grin, James came round to the front. Suddenly, he leaned in very close, close enough for Lily to feel his faintly minty breath against her cheek. She swallowed a surprised gasp.

"Sorry," James declared, his proximity making his rich voice thrum through her. Barely brushing against Lily's own arm, he reached his hand into the space between the cushions. "There's a switch," he explained, calloused palm rasping along her knuckles, "Near the bottom, off to the left. You have to press it before you start pulling things out. Mina calls it the Monkey Trap."

Lily's face burned. She couldn't look James in the eye and barely noticed when the pressure on her limb suddenly released. In fact, the girl was so flustered she forgot to drop the flask.

James saw it and laughed. "Interesting choice," he said, vaguely impressed, "Is that what you meant to grab?"

_Good Godric. Could this be any more humiliating?_

"Um, yes," Lily sighed, figuring there was no point in lying. She certainly wasn't going to get in trouble, and he would likely be insufferable no matter what. "I hope you don't mind. I was very much in need of a strong drink."

He shrugged, shedding the green-and-scarlet outer robes of his rather dashing quidditch player costume before taking a seat beside her. "Not at all," he said, "As long as you don't mind sharing."

Fiddling with the cap, doing her best not to ogle the form-fitting shirt and trousers worn by her associate, Lily responded, "It's yours anyways."

James seemed surprised again; he must've thought that Lily had Mina's flask. "You like mine?" he asked, "The Headless Horseman? Everybody but Sirius and I absolutely hate it. They always go for Mina's Slutty Cinderella."

With a shrug, Lily explained, "It's an acquired taste, but it grew on me." She took a quick sip, enjoying the accompanying burn and the spread of sedate warmth, before passing the stainless steel container along.

Beaming, James took his own long gulp. "Huh," he murmured, "I never would've guessed. Sirius invented it, you know. Made me desperately ill the first few times, but now it's my favorite."

They sat in companionable silence for quite some time, passing the flask back and forth. James had to know how much of a bust Lily's date had been (so much worse than the innocuous boredom he'd predicted), but he didn't once gloat or proposition her. He actually seemed to avoid even looking in her direction.

The portrait hole opened once more, in this instance letting Mina Lupin and Sirius Black inside. After a brief grunt of acknowledgement to their cohort, each raced up the appropriate staircase and came back down within minutes. Both had changed to dark muggle clothing one might expect to be worn by burglars; Mina carried a green oblong brick (probably a large quantity of marijuana), which she was in the process of charming to look like an antique book titled _Herbology for Audiophiles_.

"Where are you two going?" James asked, tone casual but clearly insistent up on an answer.

Mina brandished the fake book and forced a smile that even Lily recognized as slightly strained. "I have to tip the band," the sandy-haired teen explained, "And then we're playing hide-and-seek with the aurors. Want to come?"

Frowning, James answered, "I don't know... do the aurors know they're playing?"

Black chuckled, "Fabian's idea, apparently. He decided that chasing Sunny around could be turned into a training exercise."

Obviously, the girl's insanity had simply spread to a new population. And aurors weren't exactly known for their mentally stability to begin with.

"_Oi, turtle-fuckers_," Nope yawned, stretching languidly near the hearth, "_Either shut the hell up or bugger the hell off_."

James shrugged and jumped up, handing the flask back to Lily. "Feel free to finish the rest, if you want," he offered, before trotting off to change, "Though I wouldn't recommend it. There's a lot more inside than you'd expect."

While he was gone, Mina giggled quietly to herself. The one word Lily was able to consistently decipher was "flask-hole."

xxXxx

As the first weekend in November approached, so too did the first and traditionally most brutal quidditch match of the school year: Gryffindor v. Slytherin. James not only had to increase his team's training regimen, but he also had to organize ways to keep his players safe and fit for action. This was always a tall order when dealing with psychotic future Death Eaters who would rather maim opponents than face them in a fair contest.

(After all, their House motto seemed to be "why stab someone in the front if you could gain access to his back?")

Mina, Sirius, Mary, and his own august personage were the prime targets: they represented a large amount of the squad's talent, as well as leadership, muscle, and morale. However, the four were also the most capable of defending themselves against attacks. Marauders liked nothing more than receiving legitimate excuses to beat, hex, humiliate, or otherwise maim deserving adversaries, and Mary (apparently determined to never again allow herself to be victimized) had fully adopted the same philosophy.

The fact that Mina was almost constantly guarded by at least one auror and that the other three teammates were nearly always with her meant James had little to worry about concerning the core group.

Zane Creevy and Delwyn Jones, the seventh-year chasers, generally stuck close to and watched out for each other, so that only left Gerald Walker, the rather diminutive fourth-year seeker, as a weak point in their defenses. James eventually talked two house-elves into shadowing the excitable redhead when no one else was available.

That whole situation alone was quite stressful, but it didn't even begin to compare with the knowledge that Mina and Sirius had shared about their conversation with Professor Lazarov.

"Is that what you swore the oath about, Moony?" James demanded, tempted to glare.

"Leave him alone, Prongs," Mina scolded, "The oath won't let him confirm or deny anything. I'll just have to work harder at Occlumency before we can figure out what's really going on. And until then, I've decided to castrate the next person to accuse me of being a seer. _No fucking exceptions_."

In a rare moment of not being attached at the face to his new girlfriend, Pete piped up, "I'm still a little confused about Lazarov's theory."

Mina sighed heavily. Then she leaned over to Sirius's nightstand and snatched an empty cup. After using her wand to fill the cup halfway with water, the girl explained, "Think of the cup as my mind and the water as my magic." Another wand flick put a crack straight through the bottom, letting the water begin pouring out. "I was injured in a way that my magic wasn't strong enough to fix, but it still would've exhausted itself trying. I'd not only still be hurt, but I'd also be a squib. And that's if I survived at all."

One more wand wave, and the crack sealed, though not entirely; a trickle of water still escaped. "Somehow, either by me doing it accidentally or another person getting to me in time, the injury was blocked off. It wasn't a very good block, but it contained the damage and kept it manageable." She filled the cup a bit more, almost to the top. She let it trickle out the bottom for a while and then added more water. "Magic reserves grow as we get older, so people can expect to be about twice as powerful as adults as they are as children, but everyone has an upper limit before they would have to work their arses off or engage in rituals of questionable morality to see any further increase. Living in a place like Hogwarts for most of the year during formative years helps us to get as close as possible to the natural limit. Because the block on the damage wasn't complete, it continued allowing some magic through. Given the luxury of being able to act slowly over time and the greater amount of energy available both from growing and from being at Hogwarts, my magic was eventually able to heal the damage."

She sealed the crack and set the cup back on the nightstand. "Unfortunately," Mina went on, continuing to add more water to the cup, "Even after the damage was healed, the block didn't fall and is keeping my magic from knowing that it got the job done. In response, my body just absorbs more and more magic, still hoping to fix the original problem. Magic really wants its host in top shape, so it's bloody persistent and keeps trying harder and harder." She made the top of the cup grow an extra half inch and then filled it again. She poked the cup with her fingertip and made some of the water slosh over the rim. "That's probably why I've found it so hard to control my accidental magic lately. With the injury healed and my potential more or less reached, I'm filled so full that every small jolt of anger upsets the balance and makes magic spill out."

James thought it was a rather simplistic but, for the most part, accurate visual.

Peter, of course, stared at Mina like she was a bomb about to detonate. "So..." he nervously drawled, "How are you supposed to avoid... spillage? I don't think you're going to last long before getting angry enough again."

With a bright grin, Mina fished a black walnut-sized sphere out of her pocket. "Lazarov gave me this," she explained.

Instantly and without conscious thought, James and Sirius both screamed like little girls and tumbled to the floor in their haste to put as much distance as possible between themselves and that dreaded rock. Pete was slightly slower to react, but, upon finally doing so, ended up as Wormtail, cowering inside Remus's trouser leg.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Sirius shrieked, clearly struggling with the desire to save himself and the desire to save his love from the destructive object she held, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT _IS_?!"

Tossing the object lightly between her palms, Mina responded, "Yes, of course. Leech stone. It drains magic and attracts Dementors. As you so perfectly demonstrated, wizards hate the stuff and, hundreds of years ago, rounded up as much as they could in the whole world, which they then dumped onto a small island in the North Sea. The eventual site of Azkaban prison." She giggled teasingly. "What most people don't know is that leech stone can be quite valuable, if handled properly. Law enforcement uses small amounts in handcuffs and jail cells. And, with the correct runes applied, the effect can be dampened to the point I need: mild magical suppression. It'll prevent my body from absorbing too much extra energy from the strong fields of the ley lines. And it'll also absorb any accidental magic I do produce, preventing it from being too destructive on my surroundings. Sort of like the tracking bracelet did, but better. And without, y'know, nearly burning my hand off."

While that explanation did make plenty of sense, James could not get over his instinctive terror. Much like muggle-raised children were taught not to stick their fingers in electrical sockets or run across busy streets, magic-raised children were taught not to touch leech stone; in small quantities, it probably wouldn't irreparably hurt an adult, but a child, with that not-yet-full-strength-magic, could be killed or turned into a squib just by accidentally picking up an errant shard. Warring pure-blood factions had even been known to post bits of it to their enemies' underage heirs, sometimes sneakily hidden inside jewelry or toys. Such attacks still carried a death sentence.

"You lot need to remember your silencing charms," Mary grumbled as she entered, threw her bag to the side, and claimed James's empty mattress. "The whole common room could hear you screaming. Merrigan is gloating that Mina probably snapped and went on a killing spree."

Mina pouted fiercely. "Merrigan really is the worst kind of moron," she commented, flipping her hair haughtily, "Lucky for her, I have better things to do at the moment than show that mouthy tub of goo the error of her ways."

Mary opened her mouth to answer but instantly stopped and paled. "I-Is that leech stone?" she stammered.

"Good eye," laughed Mina, before launching into almost the exact same lecture she'd just delivered.

Almost as soon as she finished, the door crashed open once more, this time revealing Delwyn Jones. The lanky dark-skinned lad panted, "Fucking... Creevy..."

With quidditch hostilities being what they were, that was all the group needed to instantly sprint to the hospital wing.

But despite Jones's hysterics, Creevy had not been the victim of Slytherin sabotage. What happened was no less terrible for their team, however: poor Creevy had been bitten by a mackled malaclaw during Care of Magical Creatures. The bite of the lobster-like animal would not have incapacitated him except for the fact that malaclaw venom causes up to a week of bad luck.

Basically, Murphy's Law in venom form: anything that could go wrong, _would_. Victims had been known to fall down stairs and fatally impale themselves on year-old cracker crumbs.

Creevy was going to need to be confined to an empty, sterile room for the foreseeable future. If he so much as _looked at_ a broom, he was probably going to die a very sticky, very funny, but very unfortunate death.

xxXxx

"Clear your minds."

If it weren't for the fact that Occlumency meditation was so different from Animagus meditation, Mina probably would've already achieved the state of Mental Fortress. (Her own term, of course; most books on the subject were annoyingly technical and unimaginative.)

While Animagus meditation was designed to tap into innate primal magic, Occlumency required concentration and calm before a person could even _begin_ building an individual mental landscape and fortifying it against attack. Being an Animagus was all about letting go and letting the animal overtake you; Occlumency involved developing enough focus and discipline to maintain complex visualizations linked to the mysteries that were thought and memory.

But aside from the very new incentive of figuring out what the hell was wrong with her brain, the girl really just wanted to move onto the one-on-one lessons for the luxury of no longer having to sit near Severus "Hope He Gets Raped to Death by a Hippogriff" Snape several times a week.

Remus's annoyingly consistent reminders had kept Mina from acting on her loathing, but she was rapidly reaching the point where that would no longer be an option. And every time Snape opened his spiteful halitosis-hole, her control slipped just a bit more.

"Professor," the greasy cretin sneered, still struggling with folding his spindly legs into an appropriate position for sitting on the floor, "My mind has been clear for quite some time now. I'm sure _some_ people haven't achieved such discipline-" he leveled his undeservedly superior gaze at Mina. "But I don't think I should be hindered in my studies because of the failings of the _lowest element_."

Thinking that maybe this was a test, Mina maintained her inner calm. Still, she drawled, "Snivellus, shut your slimy face. The only useful thing you have _ever _produced comes out the other end, and even that is rather poor fertilizer."

"_Enough_," snarled Lazarov. She glared heatedly, surprisingly at Mina. "Miss Lupin," the dark-haired professor growled, "I am more than capable of maintaining order in my lessons. In the future, please do not presume to intrude."

Despite Snape's arrogant, mocking smirk, Mina respected Lazarov too much not to grunt, "Yes, Professor."

Fortunately, the vampire immediately whirled on the serpent. "And you, _Mr. Snape_," she bellowed, "I do not know vhere your unmerited ego stems from, but you should know that you are in no estimation my best student. Regardless of your skill in those _glorified cooking classes_, you vere the last of this group to achieve the state I reqvire and vill therefore be the last to progress to the next stage of training. I vould suggest that you beg assistance from Miss Meadowes and Miss Lupin, but I know for a fact that neither vould bother to even spit on you if you vere on fire."

Snape looked distinctly purple.

Mina, however, couldn't contain her giddy delight.

Lazarov continued to berate the pitiful brat: "If, by some miracle, you manage to claw your vay up to my standards, I am still undecided on vhether or not I vould even permit you the privilege of continuing to learn vith me. In short, improve your attitude and rise above mediocrity, and, until then, be _silent_ and thankful I have not yet thrown you out on your narrow behind."

That was far too much: Mina burst out laughing, flopping sideways off her cushion.

The other members of the "Occlumency Club" did a better job resisting but, to a man, still indulged in the cruel sniggers.

Twitching and shaking with rage, Snape jumped to his feet and hissed, "Blood-sucking fool! What the hell do you know about the human mind when you don't even _have one_ anymore?!"

Icily, Lazarov responded, "Get out."

"Run along, Snivellus," Mina sang, collapsed in joyous cackles, "If you're so set on having a _human_ teach you Occlumency, then maybe you should ask your fat fuck of a Head of House. Oh, wait. Slug-guts is not only too incompetent for the discipline, but he's also three parts walrus. Too bad. All those years of licking his large intestine clean with your forked tongue have been sorely wasted."

"_Lupin_," growled Lazarov. Though she did a rather poor job of not betraying her amusement.

Halfway to the door, Snape spun around. Beady eyes blazing with hatred, the boy leveled his wand and shouted, "_LEGILIMENS!_"

_She was on the floor, and her face hurt. Which, since she'd already been on the floor and Snivellus had just thrown a spell at her, was not unexpected._

_Her mother's ruddy visage hovering over her and her mother's fist flying towards her head, however, certainly were. The punch wasn't the first of the volley, nor, unfortunately, was it the last._

_"DEMON!"_

_Choking up blood, Mina wanted to spout, 'Is that the best you got, you spineless whore?' but, rather disappointingly, heard her own very small voice sobbing, "S-Sorry, Mummy. Please... Please, no. Remy. Help-"_

She was still on the floor. Her face still hurt. But this time (rather than broken bones and cartilage, the swollen and bleeding flesh) it was because Lazarov had slapped her mightily to bring the girl out of the trance.

"Lupin," the vampire snarled gently, "Can you hear me?"

Mina spent a moment trying to cough out a mouthful of blood before realizing that she wasn't bleeding at all. She nodded.

There was a sigh of relief. "Good," said Lazarov, "Then you need to release Mr. Snape."

With several hazy blinks, Mina was gradually able to determine that Lazarov was not the only person kneeling over her. No, Remus and Sirius were there. Beyond them, Alice and McGonagall. Meadowes, Crouch, and Abbott hovering nervously. And, finally, pinned against the far wall, delirious and incoherent with terror, Severus "The Reason Abortions Were Invented and Should Sometimes Be Encouraged" Snape.

_How long was I out of it?_ she wondered. _Felt like only a few seconds..._

"I'm not..." the girl defended wearily, "I can't. The leech-"

Lazarov held up the leech stone, or at least the mangled chunk that was left of it. Judging from the dull ache Mina felt near her hip, the damn thing had exploded in her pocket; the missing shards were probably imbedded in her flesh.

_Great_, she thought, half hysterical, _I get to spend the night having toxic shrapnel picked out of sensitive places because Snivellus can't handle criticism_.

"Lupin," the professor called, shaking her lightly, "Lupin. Clear your mind. You need to release Mr. Snape."

And Mina, because the least of her worries was _poor Mr. Snape_, replied, "No."

McGonagall gasped, "Mina, please. He obviously botched the spell! His mind is at risk-"

"I don't care," growled the sandy-haired teen. She swallowed thickly, took a moment to get her breathing in order. "That repulsive fuck wanted a look inside my head, and, honestly, he deserves nothing less a very long stay."

Really, Snape already knew her damning secrets: illegal Animagi-hood, lycanthrope brother. She had equal blackmail to prevent him from spilling them. Anything else he happened to experienced was just childhood trauma, and there was certainly enough of that to go around.

Especially for an arrogant bastard who had forced himself into a front row seat.

But apparently neither professor was interested in such perfect poetic justice: Lazarov held Mina's shoulders to the ground long enough for McGonagall to stun the girl into utter oblivion.

xxXxx

"You would've enjoyed it, love," Sirius chuckled, careful not to jostle pretty witch reclining against his chest, "Lazarov screamed herself blue at Snivellus, and then at Dumbledore when he tried to defend the oily bastard. Apparently vampires don't actually need oxygen, so she went on for nearly an hour straight."

Mina yawned, "Sad I missed that. And, pardon me? What the hell do you mean Dumbledore _defended_ him? There are still countries where what Snivellus did would earn him a nice cozy noose!" Most of those countries were plagued with governments generously described as despotic or medieval, but that was hardly relevant. Sure, she probably couldn't see the greasy cretin locked in his rightful cell in Azkaban without risking him blabbing about Remus, but Mina expected _something_ from Dumbledore.

Stroking an invisible beard, mocking the old man's airy mannerisms, Sirius repeated, "_Oh, come now, Elizaveta. Mr. Snape let his emotions get away from him and made a small error in judgment. He suffered for that mistake and surely learned his lesson. I will see too it that Mr. Snape is punished appropriately, but we must all forgive one another if we are to move on from this unpleasantness_."

"Lemon-sucking son of a two-knut whore," Mina grumbled, "He's damn lucky he didn't spout any of that bullshit in my hearing."

Sirius laughed again, pressing a kissing into his girl's neck. "He dragged Snivellus up to his office a few minutes before you woke. Even Dumbledore isn't stupid enough to ask you to forgive something like this."

With a small hum of agreement, Mina relaxed into the embrace. They sat in silence for a few moments, enjoying the solitude of the empty classroom and the reprieve from the nurse's attention.

"So, what did you see?" asked Sirius, "What memory did the spell pull you into?"

The girl tensed. She picked idly at the bandage on her hip. For a long time, Sirius didn't think she was going to answer. But then she did. "It was my mother," Mina murmured, voice flat and distant, "She was... I already had memories of her hitting me, but nothing more than a couple of slaps. Grabbing me too hard... But this... she was trying to beat my head in. Calling me a demon. I never knew..."

After struggling to bite back his horrified outrage, Sirius questioned, "You think that's part of the block? You can't remember how bad she was?"

Mina shrugged. "It's entirely possible. She's always been by far the most likely source of any near-fatalities I suffered in childhood. Hell, she already has two to her credit."

More silence. Sirius didn't know how he could comfort his love, other than continuing to hold her. So he did that, and, eventually, he commented, "Prongs is going to let Suzi play chaser on Saturday."

"That should be interesting," Mina remarked, "We'll have to keep a close eye on her." She squirmed around in his embrace, grinning softly and then—to indicate that the _talking about important things_ portion of the evening was through—darting in for a heated kiss.

That was perfectly alright with Sirius. Careful to avoid pressing against his girlfriend's latest injury, the young man lost himself to the wonderful sensations.

Chuckling softly against Sirius's mouth, writhing in a _truly_ distracting manner, Mina declared, "Y'know... I was thinking. It's been about a year since our first kiss..."

"Your first ever," Sirius answered, just because he still got such smug a thrill out of the fact. Granted, at the time, Mina had only seized on an opportunity for "kissing lessons" to impress a future boyfriend. James had interrupted; Sirius had acted like an idiot; Mina had gotten mad enough to punch him. But Sirius couldn't bring himself to care; he had claimed Mina's first kiss, and, luck being on his side, he would claim all her remaining firsts as well.

"You have been a most satisfactory instructor," Mina drawled. She turned her attentions to his jaw, his throat, her soft, lovely hands wandering beneath his shirt. "Maybe you'd like to take this opportunity to _quiz me_. And then maybe we can move on to more _advanced lessons_."

Before Sirius could very enthusiastically accept that offer, someone pounded loudly on the door. Gideon fucking Prewett called, "Oi. I'm not around to guard your shag sessions. Get your clothes on, and get your arses out here."

One of the things Sirius adored most about Mina was her near inability to be embarrassed (at least by conventional methods). Theatrically, the girl began moaning in steadily increasing volume, throwing in an occasional "Oh, Sirius!" or "Merlin! Yes! Harder!"

Sirius did his best not to laugh and spoil the joke. He almost missed that Mina had her wand out and was flicking a complicated pattern in the direction of a nearby chair. The surprising part of her actions was when she shut her mouth but the obscene moaning didn't stop. Actually, the obscene moaning seemed to be _coming from_ the chair...

After offering a mischievous shushing motion, Mina climbed off Sirius's lap and pulled the young man to his feet. She crept over to and climbed out of a nearby window. Her saucy wink promised generous rewards should Sirius choose to follow.

On the other side of the door, Gideon began ranting about common decency and hostile work environments, threatening forced sterilization.

The choice was an obvious one; Sirius hoisted himself through the window and dropped two stories to the thick grass.

Mina giggled maliciously and leapt into his arms, lithe legs wrapping around his hips. "Prewett is going to be _so annoyed_ when he realizes we've gone," the girl bragged.

"But probably impressed," laughed Sirius, taking the opportunity to pin his gorgeous minx against the castle wall and indulge in the heavenly taste of her wicked little tongue. "I know I am. Sound-recording charm? Where'd you find that?"

"Mmm, around," she answered, practically purring as she arched and ground against him.

Sirius would've investigated further, but he was honestly having a rather hard time concentrating. _Pun definitely intended..._

"OI!" came the bellow from above, followed by an off-target stunner, "You little bastards! Just wait 'til I catch you!"

Mina cackled, already yanking Sirius away toward more misbehavior as she shouted, "If you can, you big wanker!"

xxXxx

"Quidditch is not as important as Moony," Mina snarled, dark blue eyes narrowing dangerously, "If you make me choose-"

"That's not what I'm saying," James quickly interrupted. He took a deep breath, trying to come up with words that didn't sound quite as horrible. "Look... just... the full moon is Friday night, and the match is Saturday morning. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that one's going to affect the other. We'll probably have enough problems with Suzi filling in, and you're still healing-"

"Piss off, Potter!" Fuck. James knew he was in trouble when she reverted right to the surname. "I can and _have_ played with less sleep and worse injuries! Just because you're more interested in getting your beauty rest-"

"That's quite enough," Mary interrupted, rolling her eyes as she physically shoved between the pair of shouting Marauders. "Mina, James is not suggesting that quidditch is more important than Remus, nor is he suggesting that you sit out the moon. James, next time, write down your concerns and have a grownup edit them for idiocy."

Sirius snickered.

James pouted.

Remus sighed, wearily, and remarked, "Prongs and I thought that, to cut down on fatigue and injuries, it might be a good idea for you guys to handle Moony in shifts. Wormtail can keep watch while one of you stays in the Shack. That way the other two can try to get some sleep in the tunnel but still be nearby in case anything happens."

In James's mind, the plan had been a decent one, but, somehow, it had not survived the journey out of his mouth in the same state... maybe Mary was right.

Still obviously upset but at least appeased, Mina responded, "I guess we can give it a shot, but I should stay in the whole night. One person alone isn't enough, and it's not like I'm going to sleep anyways-"

"Not if you don't even try!" James snapped, before he could stop himself, "Lazarov gave you a new leech stone, so how are you going to know if it's working if you don't try to sleep?"

Mina's answering glare would've sent a lesser man fleeing the room. Possibly the country. "That's fairly low on my list of priorities," the girl growled, "What I really need at the moment is help dealing with the aurors. It's supposed to be the last night of the _protective detail_, so all of the sentimental dolts are going to be here. They want to do some important training exercise. Fabian couldn't get it through his thick skull that I already had plans, so I need to figure out how to ditch them. Preferably in a way that teaches the big ginger git that '_no_' means '_fuck off, you bossy cunt_.'"

Fooling four aurors at once was an appealing prospect for the Marauders. James was sure that, if they put their heads together and really worked on it, he and his friends could accomplish their most impressive mayhem to date.

Unfortunately, he couldn't force himself to get excited about that. "What do you have in mind?" the young man questioned.

Mina beamed. "Sheer chaos."

"Ooo," murmured Pete, "Does that mean we get to do _the Thing_?"

With a loud scoff, Sirius quipped, "No way. Moony won't let us do _the Thing_." A quick glance at the werewolf in question suggested otherwise, and Sirius turned noticeably hopefully (bouncing in place like a hyper puppy) as he added, "Really? Really, Moony? Oh, please, say yes! Please! I'll be such a good boy! I'll never spill motor oil on your bed ever again!"

Remus blinked at him and challenged, "You spilled motor oil on my bed?"

"Uh," Sirius hastily backtracked, "No. Of course not..." He pointed in a random direction and had to steal a glimpse at the target (Mary) before insisting, "She did it."

Mary raised an Eyebrow of Impending Violence.

(James had never witnessed such an Eyebrow outside the Lupin family (he suspected it came directly from their ancestral grimoire). So either one or—Merin forbid—_both_ of the Lupin twins had taught the keeper, or she had figured it out on her own. Which was almost _more_ terrifying.)

Twitching like he desperately wanted to run screaming, Sirius amended, "Wait. No. I was... mistaken..." He swung his point a few inches to the right, where Monty and Nope were tussling playfully at the end of James's bed. "It was them," Sirius crowed, relieved and quite happy to be able to blame nonhumans, "Bad skunk and jarvey. Very, very bad. You need to... uh... _respect Remus's personal space and belongings_."

(James had lost count of how many times Remus had uttered the exact phrase. Literally. They used to keep up a tally by notching the wood of his bed frame, but that only seemed to make him angrier...)

Nope's head popped up, briefly, and the ferret-like beast remarked, "_Suck my majestic ovaries, you sorry excuse for congealed dick-juice!_"

"When did she start rhyming?" James asked, inexplicably interested.

With an ecstatic grin, Mina answered, "When I started teaching her. I'm working on a theory."

There was silence for a moment as all those assembled wondered (in a bewildered, slightly concerned fashion) what theory could _possibly _involve teaching a jarvey to rhyme her insults...

Remus's polite cough finally brought the group back on subject, the prim werewolf declaring, "I have agreed to a modified version of _the Thing_, but only if you can all demonstrate that you can manage all the spells and potions correctly. That means _no dead mice_, understand?"

"_One time_," Sirius complained quietly, "And it's not like it was a total loss! We used the dead mice to catch all those horklumps, remember? When we filled Slug-guts's office with them?"

Rolling his eyes, Remus drawled, "Hmm. Yes. When life gives you a bucket of dead rodents, turn it into a room full of carnivorous mushrooms. Profound."

"Why do we always have to test spells on mice?" grumbled Peter, "It's barbaric!"

"Mainly because you whined so much when we used to test them on you," Mina retorted mildly.

This, of course, shut Pete right up.

James huffed, summarizing, "Ok, so, we're doing _the Thing_, slightly modified, to distract the aurors from our full moon romp, which will also be slightly modified in order to preserve some energy for quidditch the following day. Everyone on board?"

There were nods of approval, except from Mary, who quietly inquired, "What's _the Thing_?"

Sniggering quite evilly, Mina explained, "_The Thing_ is short for _All the Things Moony Won't Let Us Do, Which We Will Someday Combine into the Greatest Prank Ever Known_... We've been adding to the file since first year..."

xxXxx

A well-known fact within the hallowed Hogwarts hall was that when the Marauders put their heads together, whispered, and giggled like maniacal imps, wise people watched their arses.

When Mina Lupin received packages that caused her to cackle loudly enough to interrupt breakfast, even idiots knew that absolute bedlam couldn't be far behind.

"What are they up to?" Hamish McDougal demanded as he followed Lily out of the Great Hall.

"I have no idea," the redhead responded icily, still quite annoyed with her disappointing Halloween date, who (even more disappointingly) hadn't yet noticed that she was annoyed with him.

The dark-haired Head Boy rolled in eyes, answering (in the most condescending, self-important manner possible), "You're friendly with the delinquents, for some reason. If they haven't already told you, then you could definitely get Potter to spill. Everyone knows he'd do anything to get on your good side. Just cozy up a bit and see what you can find out."

Lily was actually too appalled to continue walking and stopped to stare in affronted horror. "I'm sorry," she drawled, slowly and dangerously, "Are you suggesting that I _whore myself out for information_?"

The flicker in the lad's dark eyes was obviously him holding back an instinctive and idiotic desire to take points for the salty language. "Nothing quite so vulgar," snapped Hamish, "Though I do think it quite worrisome that you immediately jumped to that conclusion. Bit eager for the opportunity, are you?"

She felt shame but battled it down. Not only did Lily entirely believe she had correctly interpreted Hamish's demands, but she also didn't appreciate being made to feel cheap for pointing out and refusing them. "Drop dead," the girl snarled, turning on her heel and wanting nothing other than distance between herself and McDougal.

A sudden, rough grip around her bicep startled a gasp out of Lily, even more so when she was yanked roughly and spun back around to face the irate Ravenclaw. "I'm not finished talking to you," McDougal spat, "And I don't appreciate your attitude! I'm simply looking out for the best interest of the students, and I would've thought you'd understand that! Lupin and her pack of future-felons can't be allowed to run amok any longer!"

"Let go of my arm," Lily insisted, struggling to keep her voice from betraying any hint of pain or fear. Though her free hand had already drifted to her wand and held it at the ready, in case more forceful persuasion was needed.

Hamish didn't release his hold, arguing, "Quit being unreasonable. Don't you want to stop them?"

"I want you to _let go of my arm_," said Lily. She dug her wand into his ribs, letting it imply the necessary threats. "_Now_."

"You'd better do it," a small, squeaky voice agreed. Little Tia Jones stood a few paces away, scowling with her fists balled at her hips. "Grabbing people isn't nice!"

Huffing and rolling his eyes, McDougal responded, "Neither is interrupting adult conversations. Get to class. We're discussing prefect business." Unfortunately, he didn't seem at all concerned with being held at wandpoint.

Tia's scowl deepened at the blatant fib. "No you're not," she chirped, "_Grabbing_ is not _discussing_. And you'd better stop, unless you want me to go find James and Remus and Mina and ask _them_ to convince you."

Hamish released Lily's bicep like it was on fire.

Merlin's sake. He was more scared of a tattling firstie than he was of Lily's wand pressed against his gut. That was just embarrassing. For both of them.

The tiniest Gryffindor (as some people had affectionately dubbed her) nodded in authoritative approval. She fixed McDougal with yet another sharp look, suggesting, "You should set a better example with your behavior. I'm impressionable."

Lily had always assumed that Tia's interaction with the Marauders on the train had influenced her sorting, but there was no longer any question that the precocious pixie was right where she belonged.

After the young man stomped off, muttering about Gryffindor being full of nutters and thugs, Lily was left to gape at tiny Tia, her angelic black ringlets and porcelain-doll complexion and fierce pink pout. "That goes for you, too," said the small girl, "You shouldn't let people push you around like that. Certainly not after you've already warned them once."

Lily blushed, trying not to feel so mortified at being scolded by an oddly wise eleven-year-old.

"Who's been warned?" James Potter inquired as he swaggered into the Entrance Hall. He stopped beside Tia, mussing the girl's hair; she smiled adoringly up at him.

"No one," Lily spluttered, not wanting another hot-headed Marauder fixating his ire on McDougal, "It was nothing. Not important."

Tia frowned, looking ready to argue the point, but thankfully stayed quiet.

Not quite buying the explanation either, James wrinkled his nose suspiciously (it always made him look rather boyish and sweet). But, eventually, he, too, let the matter drop. "Well then," he said, "Can I escort you lovely ladies to class?"

Lily agreed with a soft nod, still too flustered to do much else. Her thoughts of having Tia around as a buffer went out the window when the tiny sprite skipped out the front doors, claiming that she would be fine seeing herself to Herbology.

With a bright grin, James relieved Lily of her satchel and gallantly offered his arm.

After years of experience, Lily's instinctive suspicion of all things Maruader was rather difficult to shake. "So," she began as they began their leisurely walk, "Where are your cohorts today? Not skiving, I hope."

James smirked and shook his head, free hand instantly tangling in his messy jet spikes. "Nah," the lad answered, "They'll make it to Transfiguration on time. Pete is walking Yvette and Suzi to their classes, Remus and Mary are escorting Walker to his, and Sirius and Mina are trying to make Frankie spontaneously combust."

Lily couldn't help her horrified double-take.

"Oh, not literally," laughed James, nervously fiddling with the two satchel straps slung across his muscular chest, "He just blushes like mad every time he catches them snogging. They think it's hilarious."

"Of course they do," Lily murmured, rolling her eyes. _Figures they'd both be sexual deviants on top of everything else... not that there was ever any doubt about Black..._ "And I don't suppose you'll tell me about whatever prank you're planning?"

James smirked innocently. "I have no idea what you mean, Lily-dearest."

She tried to stare him down but a fond, almost automatic chuckle ruined the effect.

"However, on the subject of things I know nothing about and that you'll never manage to pin on me anyways," the tall teen said with a cocky wink, producing a small wooden totem seemingly from thin air and offering it to his companion, "You should probably keep this in your pocket until after the quidditch game."

It was a crude carving. Lily wasn't even sure what the palm-sized thing was meant to represent, aside from maybe some sort of four-legged creature. "Er..." she drawled, warily inspecting the lump of willow, "What is it?"

James's cheeks turned a bit pink and he timidly ruffled his hair again. "Supposed to be a lioness. Firenze's teaching Mina and me woodcarving... well, trying to..."

That was rather... unexpectedly adorable. Lily spared another look at the misshapen piece (especially the small series of runes etched into the beast's belly) before commenting, "Oh. I see now... Thanks." She awkwardly tucked the totem into her pocket (glad that, if she couldn't stop the impending prank, then she at least might not be subjected to it personally). (Besides, the Marauders never usually seriously injured anyone, and letting the prank go off would annoy McDougal, which Lily could definitely get behind.)

Before she could stop herself, she swatted James hand away from his hectic locks. "You know you make it worse every time you do that," she teased.

He frowned at himself, forcing his hand to his side. "Ya," he agreed, "Just habit. Mum's been after me for years to stop. Says I'm going to give myself a bald spot."

The vision that came to mind of a balding James Potter sent Lily into a fit of giggles. In time, though, she was able to calm down enough to regale him with the story of how she learned to stop biting her nails by cutting them especially short. Removing the temptation entirely until the habit broke itself.

James remained strangely pensive throughout Transfiguration... not that Lily was watching him or anything...

xxXxx

Far too eager to sit still, Mina bounced gleefully on the common room couch as she waited for the boys to drag their arses downstairs. The sooner they had dinner, the sooner they could put the finishing touches on the castle-wide prank bonanza scheduled to begin the following morning. They'd been at their preparation for several days already, and not even the impending full moon could dampen her excitement.

"You're making me motion-sick," Mary commented, flicking lazily through the latest _Witch Weekly_.

Mina responded with a delighted laugh. She would've fired back a snarky joke, but a flicker of movement drew her gaze as the boys finally arrived. Mina turned, ready to greet them, but instead found herself shrieking in horror, flailing mid-bounce, and flopping painfully off the couch.

"Oh, Prongs!" the girl cried, scrambling to her feet, vaulting several pieces of furniture and a startled first-year, and grabbing her mangled friend by his arms, "Who did this to you?!"

He blinked at her, seemingly startled and ignoring the raucous mirth of the other Marauders behind him. "What?" James drawled, a hand drifting toward his closely shorn hair but stopping before it reached. There wasn't enough there to run his fingers through anyways; less than a centimeter of black stubble remained. He blushed. "I just decided to try a new look."

Mina could only gape. She struggled to wrap her mind around the sight of James Potter without his trademark messy locks. He looked like... not himself. Like some random skinny, bespectacled nobody. Merlin's crusty tube-sock. Why did a_ buzz cut_, of all things, make her feel like bursting into tears?

"It's... uh..." the lad stammered, "Aerodynamic?"

Still, Mina continued to stare up at him until Sirius intervened, gently tugging the girl into his embrace and murmuring, "Everything's alright, Sunshine. Prongs finally realized that my hair will always be far superior to his in every possible way. I think he's in mourning for the prowess he'll never possess."

"Oi, dick," James said, rolling his bright hazel eyes behind thick glasses, which, without his customary corona of jet spikes, looked far too big for his face.

That must've been part of the shock, Mina decided: James's hair was a constant against which she measured other things; suddenly losing such a constant threw off her entire world perspective.

It was surreal, and vastly unsettling in a very visceral way.

"Well," Mary interrupted, hesitantly helpful, "It's... nice. I'm sure it'll keep you cooler during practices."

Mina couldn't help growling, sick of the absurd theories. She knew damn well James would never chop his precious mane just for variety, wind resistance, tress envy, or temperature regulation. Something was definitely up.

Unfortunately, she didn't have further opportunity to investigate the oddity because McGonagall appeared quite suddenly and interrupted with a pointed cough. "Miss Lupin," she greeted, uncharacteristically soft-spoken, "The headmaster has arranged that meeting you and he discussed during the Ball. He would like you to report to his office."

Mina blinked. Then she remembered: the Unspeakables had arrived to pick apart Mina's brain. "What?" the girl complained, "_Now_? I haven't even eaten dinner yet! Plus, I have plans tonight! He can't just snap his fingers and expect me to turn up anywhere and anytime he bloody pleases!"

Beady black gaze narrowing and wrinkled mouth pursing into a tight frown, McGonagall argued, "I believe you will find that he can. And you will keep a civil tongue or face the consequences."

Mina couldn't do this. Not tonight. She was already so far off balance. Blearily, the girl wondered how much trouble she would get in if she tried to use the old _I'm too distraught over my best mate's stupid new haircut_ excuse to avoid the meeting.

Sensing his sister's distress (or perhaps just that she was about to land herself in a heap of trouble), Remus wearily murmured, "It won't be that bad, Sunny. And I'll go with you."

"No," Mina responded, feeling guilty that he'd even offer, "You need your rest, Moony." _He deserves one last peaceful night of sleep before his transformation. I won't take that away from him..._

"I shall be accompanying and supervising Miss Lupin," McGonagall announced primly, like it should've been a foregone conclusion and they were all rather dim for not realizing, "The headmaster assures me that the meeting will be neither strenuous nor time-consuming, and, in any case, I will not permit her to be out past curfew."

Mina gave a relieved sigh; ever since the business with Professor Giles turning out to be a psychotic Death Eater, McGonagall had been oddly protective, and knowing that the professor had the girl's back lifted a huge weight off the girl's shoulders. She nodded her acceptance before turning to bid her friends goodbye. During the necessary and much appreciated hugs, she was able to hold short whispered conversations with each, confirming that they would look after Remus and still proceed with the prank preparations as planned.

Perfect.

The walk to the headmaster's office seemed long, but, hell, it always did. Actually, the whole experience was quite typical except for the persistent sensation of the universe being slightly off kilter. And for the stone gargoyle jumping away from the tower entrance before McGonagall could offer a password.

Severus "There Aren't Enough Sharp Pointy Objects in the World to Administer Him a Satisfactory Death" Snape stepped into the hallway. With true Slytherin self-preservation (_ie: cowardice_), the slimy wretch said nothing and hurriedly fled to a considerable distance.

But looking over her shoulder before McGonagall herded the girl up the moving staircase (toward a rather loud argument already in heated throes), Mina swore she saw the putrid, pasty bastard turn and smirk.

Nearing the second door of the headmaster's inner sanctum, Mina was able to more distinctly decipher the ongoing argument within; she recognized most of the voices, the first, loudest, and most angry of which belonged to Professor Lazarov.

"-INCONCEIVABLE! I do not care vhat that amoral cretin claims to have seen! You _VILL NOT_ violate Lupin's mind more than it already has been!"

McGonagall stopped her with a gesture, both of them poised at optimum eavesdropping positions just outside the slab of solid oak.

The next person to speak was Ficus Lestrange. (The surname was correct, but Mina knew the rest wasn't and didn't care.) "Mr. Snape's unusual account may very well alter the course of our inquiry," the old man haughtily drawled, "You cannot expect us to _ignore_ this new data-"

"Data?!" Lazarov bellowed, pacing, "DATA?! You ignorant-" (insert a long, very likely very profane Bulgarian diatribe) "This is a young girl's life you are meddling vith! You _are not_ going to go blindly rifling through her head for deeply repressed memories of a trauma that nearly killed her once already! And you must be an absolute _idiot_ if you thought you had any chance in the seven hells of convincing _me_ to do such a thing! It is the height of stupidity and arrogance that you vould even _ASK_!"

Coughing uncomfortably, Dumbledore began, "Elizaveta-"

"No, Albus," Lestrange interrupted, ever the pompous arse, "That's quite alright. Since Miss Lazarov is so averse to aiding the our investigation, as we assumed she would be, my fellow Unspeakables and I have come prepared to proceed without her assistance."

The hairs on the back of Mina's neck stood up in alarm, and, almost without thinking, the girl snapped a button off her shirt and transfigured it into a pair of stylish mirrored sunglasses. A strong Legilimency attack couldn't be countered by anything short of a strong Occlumency shield, but most books on the subject agreed that direct eye contact was a necessary gateway to such forceful mental intrusion.

McGonagall seemed flustered but gave a proud smile. "That will be twenty points to Gryffindor, Miss Lupin," the elderly Scot stated, loudly enough for the inhabitants of the office to hear, "For such an impressive and creative nonverbal Transfiguration."

"Thank you, Professor," Mina replied. Even though the girl still felt sick and off-balance, she strutted through the door and made a grand show of donning her new shades. "How many swear words does that buy me? I expect I'll need quite a few this evening."

Thin but strong hands curled affectionately, protectively around the girl's shoulders. Pinning the other occupants in place with what was likely one of her beadiest, scariest stares, McGonagall growled, "In this particular instance, you have earned yourself a sizeable credit."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter and Mina's four guard aurors goggled in surprise, but Moody snorted approvingly. "Knew there was a reason I liked you, Minerva," the one-legged wizard commented. He shuffled in place, leaning heavily on his cane and nodding a greeting to Mina.

Aside from Dumbledore, the only other people in the room were Lazarov, of course, and the same three Unspeakables Mina met last time: Lestrange, Vollan, and Bode. Acutely aware that they'd come "prepared to proceed" with a happy little jaunt through Mina's mind, the girl resolved not to glance at any of them until she determined which could wield Legilimency against her.

Instead, she glared at Dumbledore, snarling, "So what did dear disgusting Snivellus have to say? Did he enjoy his time in my memories? Must've been a big shock for him to realize that not everyone thinks exclusively of huffing potion fumes and beating off to snuff films."

"You didn't see?" Alice asked quietly.

The look of pity on her pretty face threw Mina for a bit of a loop, but the girl recovered quickly. "Of course I did," she challenged, "But I already knew my mother was an abusive cunt. Finding out that she was more of an abusive cunt than I remembered isn't exactly upsetting. In the end, there really isn't much difference between a person willing to _slap_ a toddler and a person willing to _punch_ a toddler."

Mrs. Potter seemed about three seconds from bursting into tears, and, although she had the most extreme reaction, she certainly wasn't the only individual who appeared quite concerned over Mina's blasé stance toward child abuse.

"Anyways," the girl drawled, happily taking her usual seat in the squashy purple armchair, "I assume you people are here to try to force me into something I don't want to do, so we can just skip ahead to the part where I call you useless, delusional morons and refuse to cooperate." She glared at the headmaster, adding, "By the way, I know you know how much I despise that greasy worm. Getting him to pass on information he shouldn't have had to begin with was not a great strategy."

More bewildered staring. The adults were really letting Mina get away with a hell of a lot. After far too long of uncomfortable silence, she decided to see what else she could get away with. "Who wants to hear a joke?" the smirking Animagus inquired, "What's the difference between porcupines and Death Eaters' robes?"

"Pricks are found on the _outside_ of porcupines," Alice said with a watery laugh, "Haven't you thought of any new ones lately?"

Mina pouted and complained, "Oh, like you've been doing such constructive things with _your_ time."

"Enough," Dumbledore demanded. He sighed and helped himself to a lemon drop, probably attempting to calm his jangled nerves. "Miss Lupin," the old man murmured, "The details passed on to us by Mr. Snape were extremely disturbing. How long have you been aware that your mother performed this ritual on you?"

Suddenly chilled to the very bones, Mina swallowed heavily and whispered, "Ritual?"

Clearing his throat importantly, Unspeakable Vollan announced, "Mr. Snape described witnessing a scene in your memories that, to the best of our knowledge, was part of an exorcism ritual."

Mina slowly glanced around the room, managing to take in every one of the solemn, completely sincere expressions before bursting out laughing. She carried on for quite a few minutes and then gained enough breath to giggle, "Well, I suppose that's why she calling me a demon, but I was too busy getting punched in the face to notice much else about the _scene_. Fuck me, a fucking exorcism. I knew the bitch was insane, but I didn't think she was _completely bonkers_."

There was silence.

"Really?" Mina inferred, suddenly overwhelmed by idiocy and only staying put because she felt reasonably certain that McGonagall and the aurors had her back, "You absolute bastards think I'm _possessed_?"

xxxxxxxxxx

Sorry about the delay. Family issues are ongoing and still shitty, but hopefully this was acceptable. I welcome comments, questions, concerns, etc.


	37. Disruptive, Dangerous, Offensive

Part 37 – Disruptive, Dangerous, Offensive, Unsanitary, or Just Plain Stupid

When asked how her meeting with the Dumebledore, the aurors, and the Unspeakables went, Mina answered, "Well, I learned a lot about exorcisms."

It would've been really funny had the girl not looked so shaken.

Sirius knew they should've sent Wormtail to spy again, but _noooo_. The little rat was too afraid of getting caught in an illegal form in a room full of law enforcement and people who liked to dissect oddities for a living.

"Did you know there are different types of exorcisms?" Mina continued, voice kept low so that no one would notice them after hours in the dim corridor. There were only a few more touches to put on their master prank, but Mina had to ditch her guard before she could help. Hence the very intense snog and the very soft whispers. "Most types are harmless on people who aren't actually possessed," she explained, "They're just meant to drive away an invading spirit while preserving the host. Wouldn't be much point otherwise, right? However, the types meant to banish ghosts or cleanse tainted objects don't make that kind of distinction. Any soul or consciousness present just gets shredded beyond repair."

Mind whirling and stomach churning as he tried to piece together what his girl was telling him, Sirius wrapped her small, trembling body tighter in his arms.

"Snivellus went squealing to Dumbledore about what he saw in my mind," she murmured, snuggling almost desperately into the protective embrace, "Apparently he noticed more detail than I did, and the Unspeakables think my mother performed an exorcism ritual on me. I wasn't actually possessed, so it would've been harmless if she hadn't been such an absolute fucking moron and performed the wrong kind."

Sirius gasped, blinking back an entirely unmanly wave of tears at just the thought of any part of his love's soul or consciousness _shredded beyond repair_. "So... that's the trauma then? The one you've blocked from your memories?"

The girl's shoulders twitched in a defeated shrug. "I suppose," she stated, "Soul trauma is apparently... well, not many survive, and those who do are never the same. It fits with Lazarov's theory, but the Unspeakables _refuse to speculate_ until I give in to their demands to poke through my brain a bit."

"Bloody bastards," grumbled Sirius. He did his best to tenderly kiss away his Sunshine's woes, "You don't need any of them. So far, only Lazarov seems genuinely interested in helping you rather than _studying _you."

Mina chuckled, "Actually, the aurors took my side. Mr. and Mrs. P said they'd personally arrest anyone even trying to talk to me without permission. Frank and the others wanted to extend their protective detail to keep me safe from the Unspeakables. And you should've heard McGonagall. Her accent gets quite thick when she's threatening the headmaster to within an inch of his worthless life."

That was a relief. Mina never backed down from a fight, even one against impossible odds; having more people in her corner definitely increased the chances of the whole ridiculous situation turning out in her favor.

They held each other tight, sighing. Sirius could feel Mina sneaking the Map out of his back pocket and checking if the coast was clear.

"Now," the girl instructed. She pushed the appropriate brick and instantly shoved both their bodies through the narrow arch that blinked in and out of existence. After several minutes of hopeful breath-holding and expectant Map-watching, Mina grinned and announced, "Frank didn't notice a thing. Let's get out of here before he realizes. I want to make sure the scorpions are fed."

The only thought Sirius had for a long time was, _Scorpions?_

xxXxx

Though she knew the Marauders had planned something for Friday, Lily was still surprised to wake that morning to the sound of screaming. The screaming steadily increased in volume before climaxing in window-rattling roars. A brief silence followed (during which Lily became deeply concerned that wild animals might be loose in the Tower), but the silence was rapidly spoiled by thunderous footsteps and the dormitory door being kicked open by all the seventh-year girls.

"Where the bloody hell is that little _bitch_?! I'll kill her! I'll fucking _kill her_!" hollered Miss Cecily Merrigan. Well, at least that's who Lily thought it was; she based her assumption entirely on body type because the portly girl's other features were otherwise unrecognizable.

Her plump face had grown a fine layer of golden fur, her nose and mouth transformed into a feline muzzle. Her hair, normally lank and light brown, encircled her head in a bright, regal mane.

In short, Merrigan currently had a lot in common with a chimera because she was sporting the head of a lion. A quick glance at the rest of the seventh-year contingent proved that they, too, had found themselves in such a predicament.

Since Sophronia Sloan apparently wore her prefect badge even to bed, Lily was easily able to identify the older girl as the next speaker. "Oh," said the slender lion-human hybrid, her own long, dark mane fighting its way out of a tidy braid, "Ceci, stop. Look. She got them, too."

Lily's eyes went wide, her hands instantly flying up to feel the thick fuzz on her own cheeks. Her irate shriek of "_POTTER!_" tapered off into another almighty roar.

xxXxx

Only the fact that they'd hit all the Houses equally, that (aside from a few notable sufferers of StickUpArse Syndrome) everyone accepted and was starting to have fun with their transformations made breakfast safe for the Marauders to attend.

This was, of course, how the prank originally ended up in the _All the Things Moony Won't Let Us Do, Which We Will Someday Combine into the Greatest Prank Ever Known_ file: Remus had predicted lynch mobs. Well, and their original attempts at the school-wide joke (back in second year) had also resulted in the deaths of more than half their test mice; they'd come so far very with their education to be able to pull off the prank with no fatalities (human or rodent).

Gryffindors sporting lion heads and feeling compelled to roar if their voices raised were just the tip of the iceberg. Scaly-faced Slytherins with flicking forked serpent tongues couldn't help hissing and lisping every S, and the black-beaked, black-feathered Ravenclaws kept cawing in absolute jealousy as they tried to figure out whether the exploit was the result of a charm, potion, or good old transfiguration (a mixture of all three actually, applied to pillowcases as they passed through the laundry). Hufflepuff seemed the most amused, their furry black-and-white striped faces elongated into badger-like snouts. Since none of the Marauders knew what sound badgers actually made (and James's suggestion of just making them repeat "_B-B-B-Badger!_" in a particularly dopey tone was ignored), Helga's House got off with no auditory side effects.

The Marauders having willingly donned their own masterpiece before strutting shamelessly into the Hall also did a bit to appease some of their more vocal enemies.

James sat with his friends, aware that most eyes were on them. Even so, the Marauders got on with breakfast as usual. That their boisterous laughter frequently escalated into proud roars was the only anomaly.

Until, of course, a massive Tyrannosaurus Rex materialized between the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff tables. The extinct lizard's terrifying war-cry caused more than a few pairs of damp knickers before Lucky (as they'd named their very realistic illusion) charged the lion-headed headmaster.

Lucky lunged as if to bite Dumbledore's whiskered corpse in half and then exploded into a rain of perfectly innocent chocolates that no one would risk touching, let alone unwrapping or eating.

Even the Marauders eagerly helping themselves to the treats didn't convince a single one of their peers to do the same. "Oh well," Mina giggled quietly around her morsel, beastly fangs stretching into a feral smile, "More for me."

"Free chocolate, and they're all still looking at us like we're the bad guys," Sirius quietly complained, shaking his black mane and helping himself to his third sweet, "Where's the trust?"

Mina answered, "We got them in their beds, Paddy. Even the professors. I think they're far too frightened to trust. Which will work nicely as we move into phase two."

Peter giggled maniacally and rubbed his pudgy hands together. "Phase two is my favorite."

Remus was barely going to last until lunch before heading into the hospital wing but conjured a fond yet exasperated smirk for his friends' antics.

Only the animal head curse ending as the students exited the Great Hall saved James from the reaming of his life at the hands of the delectable Miss Lily Evans.

"So what exactly is the point of this if it doesn't save me from your mischief?" the redhead demanded, discretely brandishing the small woodcarving James had made and given to her.

(The amorphous chunk of willow was supposed to be a lion. Firenze was a talented teacher, but even he couldn't work miracles.)

James offered his most charming smile (which he was quite aware was beginning to have more of an effect on the object of his desire (well, "more of an effect" as in "suddenly some small measure of an effect" anyways)). "I never said it'd save you from everything," the lad explained, ignoring the demands of his friends to hurry up, "You wouldn't want to miss out on the fun."

"James," she laughed, frustrated but still not even close to irate (which was always a victory), "The seventh-years kicked down our door this morning looking for Mina. You and your lot are going to end up tarred and feathered if you do much worse than you already have... and what happened to your hair?"

Beaming, resisting the urge to ruffle his closely shorn locks, he argued, "Ah, but now that we've started, how could we possibly stop? Don't worry, Lily. We're aiming for mass chaos, but nobody is getting hurt. These pranks are all the ones Remus never let us do, either because they couldn't pass testing or because he deemed them too disruptive, dangerous, offensive, unsanitary, or just plain stupid."

Lily tried to smother a giggle. "So those are his parameters?" she teased, "I was aware he held the Marauder leash, but I didn't think that it was so... well defined... exactly which category included the _chocolate dinosaur_?"

James smirked. "Just plain stupid." That his own brilliant imagination had spawned Lucky was omitted from the conversation.

"PRONGS! Would you quit your pathetic flirting!" interrupted Sirius, "If I'm going to lose points today, it better bloody well not be for tardiness!"

Cackling loudly, Mina agreed, "Ya, Cue-ball! Move your arse!"

He rolled his eyes, announcing, "Duty calls. I'd offer to walk you to Charms, but-"

"Oh, just go," Lily teased, "You don't have to come up with a witty quip every time we part ways. And, seriously, what did you do to your hair?... that's not because of what I said the other day, is it?"

Though flustered, James winked. "So you think I'm witty?"

The young man decided his new mission in life was to make Lily Evans blush so prettily. But he put off that noble endeavor; the Marauders had a half dozen curses and runes that would be going into effect all over the castle during their next class (not to mention a herd of psychedelically colored goats to smuggle into the headmaster's office), and James was eager to enjoy the fruits of their labors.

xxXxx

Pouting, Mina watched as yet another of her timing runes activated precisely three minutes late. Damnit. She must've miscalculated. Although, aside from the minor delay and minor wound to her pride, everything was still progressing as planned.

The swearing blackboards (a rather simple application of the very same security measures on the Map) were a rousing success in every classroom from third to seventh year. (Remus had a weird hang up about preteens being exposed to profanity and had enacted the quick-and-dirty year limit as part of his "modifications.")

Mina gleefully spent her morning Charms class switching the gravity on and off on alternating floors, first evens, then odds, then prime numbers, then Marauder lucky numbers. Reaction was a bit more mixed on that front; amidst the weightless twirling and giggling, some girls had problems keeping their skirts in place (it was no coincidence that the only girls who had such problems were girls who also had problems with Mina; again, the wonders that could be produced by infiltrating the laundry.)

There was a bit of a downswing while she walked Remus to the infirmary, hugging him tightly and promising not to get in _too much_ unauthorized trouble.

However, the girl and her brother had rather different definitions of _too much_ unauthorized trouble, and Mina took the opportunity to spring a few of the pranks that he absolutely hadn't approved.

"EXCREMENT!" Slughorn's irate bellowing echoed up from the dungeons, "HUMAN EXCREMENT! RAINING FROM THE BLOODY CEILING! MY OFFICE IS COMPLETELY UNINHABITABLE! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, ALBUS! WE BOTH KNOW EXACTLY WHO IS RESPONSIBLE, AND IF YOU REFUSE TO DISCIPLINE THOSE VILE MONSTERS, THEN I WILL!"

James rolled his eyes as he walked along toward the Great Hall. "Didn't Moony forbid you from doing that one?" he taunted.

With a bright grin, Mina replied, "Of course, but I couldn't help myself. Besides, if they didn't want people rerouting the school's plumbing, then maybe they shouldn't have made it so _easy_."

"And Slug-guts should've felt right at home," Sirius chuckled, "He's full of shit anyways."

"You're disgusting," said Mary.

Giggling, Mina corrected, "Actually, Remus banned that one under both the 'disgusting' and 'unsanitary' categories."

A series of small explosions triggered screams and a stampede as students and teachers alike fled from the horde of Cornish pixies now loose in the Great Hall.

At Mary's exasperated yet beseeching glance, James shrugged and explained, "'Disruptive.'"

"Bald idiots aren't allowed to speak," said Mina. She could hardly bear to even look at her friend with his stupid hair shaved to stubble. In fact, the only reason she was still associating with the halfwit was because she was plotting how best to trick him into ingesting a very strong hair-growth tonic.

Snickering obnoxiously, James wrapped the girl in his freakishly long arms, spun her into the air, and smacked a noisy kiss onto her cheek. "Better be nice to me, Sunny," he threatened playfully, "Unless you want Moony finding out about all your unauthorized pranks."

Mina kicked and thrashed and swore until she was released. Huffing with as much dignity as was left to her after such an absurd display, the girl replied, "Don't play the blackmail game with me, Prongs. There's still the matter of those photos from that party in third year."

He gasped in mock horror. "You wouldn't!"

"_Of course_ I would," she replied, grinning, "I thought you knew me better than that."

"Potter! Black! Lupin! Pettigrew! MacDonald!"

They turned in the direction of the shouting in time to see McGonagall fighting her way toward them, blasting pixies left, right, and center. The aubergine hue of her face did not bode well for the objects of her current ire. "My office!" she shrieked, "NOW!"

Gazing mournfully in the direction of the food, Peter whined, "But... lunch!"

Had a rogue pixie not chosen that moment to fly beneath the old Scot's robe and (judging from the way she jumped and yowled like the proverbial cat on a hot tin roof) to attack a rather sensitive area, Pete probably would've ended up eating meals through a straw for quite some time. As it happened, McGonagall did drag him through the frenzied halls by his ear, studiously ignoring every streaker that ran through the surrounding portraits.

(Talking a score of 13th-century monks into dashing around bare-arsed had not been nearly as difficult as it should've been.)

"Never in all my years-" the professor blustered, pacing behind her desk and once again too angry to form complete sentences. "Don't know what_ on earth_ has gotten into you-"

Resisting the urge to smirk victoriously, Mina grumbled, "Told you she'd blame us. You owe me a galleon, Paddy."

McGonagall goggled at them for several long, silent minutes. Her normally neat bun hung in disarray, as did her glasses. Finally, their beloved yet flustered professor simply ordered the five students out of her sight.

"Wow," Mary murmured, handing Mina a galleon, "I can't believe that actually worked."

Mina grinned as she pocketed her real winnings from the ruse. "I'd feel too guilty actually lying to the old girl. She has been quite decent to me lately. But there's no harm in an ambiguously worded deflection throwing suspicion for a while."

"And people say you're not subtle," Sirius commented, tucking the girl against his side and lovingly kissing her forehead.

A two-meter-tall, five-meter-long scorpion clacked slowly across their path, beetle-black pincers snapping and barbed tail waving. The creature gurgled, "Salutations, comrades! Might you direct me toward the nearest petrol station?"

Everyone turned, slowly, and gaped at Mina.

With a somewhat sheepish cough, the sandy-haired she-wolf murmured, "Well, I've never claimed otherwise..."

xxXxx

Afternoon classes progressed quietly. Sirius knew it was part of their plan but the hours that stretched on without incident were starting to make even him a bit jumpy. And he wasn't being plagued by what Mina had dubbed the Malicious Laughter Curse.

(It had never escaped the Marauders' notice that their peers paid attention to the notorious group's every cackle, snicker, snort, chortle, and guffaw, looking for early warning signs of a prank in the works. This behavior greatly amused Mina, who had tweaked her sound-recording charm to let out random bursts of sinister laughter at the threshold of its victims' hearing. Enchanting certain archways to attach the curse (and a few others) to those walking through had not been at all difficult.)

(The half of the student body that wasn't in hiding was growing increasingly more pale and twitchy by the minute.)

Although Kettleburn had never liked Mina (truthfully still didn't and probably never would), the gruff fellow had taken a bit more interest in the girl ever since learning that she had begun working toward her class-5 creature-handling license and might be able to accomplish the class-3 by the end of the year. Mina's competence with the specimens, combined with the fact that she wasn't generally afraid of anything, had seen their wizened instructor quite often requesting her assistance during Care.

"Lupin!" he bellowed, "With me!"

Mina tossed her friends an exasperated eye roll but jumped to comply, following the professor a few paces into the Forbidden Forest. Within less than a minute, her exuberant cry of "Wicked!" echoed back through the trees.

Groaning, Peter collapsed backward into the cold grass. "I'm going to be mauled," he complained.

"Don't be so dramatic," Sirius chuckled, "She hasn't set a creature on you since third year." Thoughtfully, the boy finally amended, "At least not during class."

Peter glared and argued, "After seeing those gigantic scorpions of hers, I'm not feeling very optimistic about anything that has Mina _that_ excited."

With a quiet, lazy chuckle, James agreed, "Fair point." He balanced a stick on his nose and quite pointedly continued to _not_ touch his miniscule crop of hair. "I assume Remus filed Mega Scorpions under the 'dangerous' category."

"They were surprisingly friendly," Mary commented, "Like dogs, almost. Although I'm still concerned about why they're looking for petrol..." The thought made her shudder.

Further discussion on the ways in which Mina was bat-shit crazy halted as yet more evidence emerged from the woods in the form of the girl leading an enormous hippogriff into view. The eagle-horse hybrid bore magpie-like coloring, feathers and hide a deep, shining black with brilliant white chest, belly, and wingtips. It seemed vaguely annoyed by the presence of the class but continued trotting dutifully along as long as Mina continued providing dead morsels from the bucket she carried.

Kettleburn followed with another hippogriff, a slightly larger dappled gray. After a shouted command, the handlers and creatures stopped just a few meters from the rest of the students.

Mina stayed to nuzzle her newest friend while the professor explained that the hippogriffs were named Mightyfall (the piebald female) and Ironsky (the steely male). They were on loan for the day (just for the sixth years and just because they were required curriculum), and any ridiculous, hazardous, and/or idiotic behavior around the beasts would result in an immediate zero and enough detentions to roll over onto their regrettable progeny.

There was a short lecture followed by some question-and-answer before, one at a time, the NEWT students were allowed to approach a hippogriff, bow, and, if accepted, feed and pet the creature. The Marauders, of course, were first in line to see Mightyfall and to ask Mina what the hell she was thinking.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," the girl huffed at Sirius. She rolled her eyes and continued to stroke the animal's thick neck. "The only danger from a hippogriff is offending it, startling it, or looking tasty. I'm not stupid enough to do the first two, and both of these beauties were raised on a ranch. They're used to people and would only eat one if they were starving and had no other option, which is true about most beings, including humans."

Sirius nervously ran his fingers through Mightyfall's glistening black feathers. Softly, he agreed, "I suppose." It wasn't even that the creature seemed aggressive, just... huge and powerful. Intimidating.

Beaming proudly, the sandy-haired Animagus declared, "Mighty here is a sweetheart. Besides, handling a hippogriff and/or hippocampus is on the list for the class-3 license. After this, I'll only have a few more skills to attempt before I can apply to take the test."

"Er," Sirius drawled, "That's... great. I guess. Just... be careful."

The hippogriff reared slightly and snapped her sharp black beak uncomfortably close to Sirius's ear.

Mina quickly soothed and calmed the beast, cooing, "Shhh. C'mon, Mighty, he didn't mean anything. Paddy just worries about me. All my friends do."

Sirius backed away very, very slowly, deciding that he never wanted to see another hippogriff as long as he lived.

xxXxx

Sometimes, Mina genuinely wondered why her classmates even took Care of Magical Creatures. Sure, everybody loves the cute and cuddly beasts, but they generally weren't the ones a person needed to be taught how to handle. The large, the venomous, the ornery: those were the types that really needed explanation.

But between Kettleburn trying to hold onto his remaining fingers and toes and the Board of Governors cutting funds, challenging specimens were few and far between. A century ago, students who passed the NEWT automatically received their class-3 license, but standards had slipped so much that the two tests were no longer considered even close to equivalent.

"And so they ended up changing her name from 'Mightywing' to 'Mightyfall' before she was even a month old,'" Mina told her friends after she finally caught up with them at dinner. Kettleburn had allowed the girl an extra hour with the hippogriffs before the owners returned to fly the gorgeous beasts home. Hagrid joined them for a while, and he seemed to enjoy himself even more than Mina had. "Poor thing's right shoulder is still a bit weak from all the breaks," the girl continued, methodically devouring her portion of shepherd's pie, "But she did finally learn how to land without running headfirst into the ground. Isn't that cute?"

Neither the other Marauders nor Mary appeared to agree, but none commented.

With a shrug, Mina went back to concentrating on demolishing her dinner before they left for the Shack.

The fact that the Great Hall was nearly empty and that the professors were watching the Marauders like hawks and that _no one_ else was eating didn't do a thing to put the girl off her food. It was merely one more effect they'd both predicted and prepared for.

"You realize the aurors are waiting for you just outside the door," Mary pointed out, throwing worried glances in the direction of the exit, "Wasn't the whole point of this day to distract and avoid them?"

Mina giggled, "And I fully intend to continue doing so. What? Have we failed to impress you yet? Lads, Mac wants bigger and better."

Rolling her eyes, Mary grumbled, "Like you need any encouragement from me."

The lights went out. Not just in the Hall but all over the castle. Every candle snuffed, every hearth doused, every window slammed and sealed against the glow of the full moon. Even the stars dotting the enchanted ceiling blinked out of existence. All of Hogwarts plunged instantly into total darkness.

There was a moment of startled silence before the frightened whispers began and swelled into a crescendo of panicked shouts and clumsy crashes as students and teachers stumbled blindly through the gloom.

Almost effortlessly, the Marauders slipped away, gliding past the disoriented aurors just in time for the opening notes and narration of _Peter and the Wolf_ to begin. The accompanying indoor firework show lasted nearly a half hour and would never have another equal in all of Hogwarts history.

xxXxx

Lily swore loudly and threw a shoe at Mina Lupin's bed. Sure, Mina Lupin wasn't in the bed, but, somehow, the small and pointless act of aggression made the redhead feel marginally better.

And, really, the fact that Lily had managed to even hit the bed was a victory in itself. All the girl had to aim by was the light of a single half-spent taper. Sure, she had found a gift-wrapped box of brand-new dripless candles tucked into her book bag, but, as a prefect, she had felt compelled to pass those out to as many first- and second-years as possible. The poor little dears had just looked so lost, obviously trying to pretend that they weren't still afraid of the dark. And only one in five could cast a decent _lumos_.

"I take it you don't know where she is."

Whirling toward the disembodied voice, Lily was surprised to find that her wand had jumped into her hand and fired a stunner with barely a conscious thought.

There was a yelp and a thump, and then. "Bloody hell, Evans. We come in peace."

Lily levitated her pitiful candle into the center of the room, illuminating the stupefied body of seventh-year prefect Sophronia Sloan. Standing over the sprawled girl, plump Cecily Merrigan seemed in the midst of reviving her friend.

"What are you two doing in here?" the redhead spat, lowering her wand a smidge but keeping it trained on the intruders, "You'd better not be after Mina again. Didn't you learn _anything_ from last time?"

Scowling, fleshy face glowing red, Merrigan replied, "We learned not to touch the little bitch's trunk. And unless you know of any other parts of the room she's booby-trapped, that'll serve our purposes just fine."

Sloan came awake with a jolt. "Whu'happened?" she groaned, flinching away from the weight of her own long braid. Since one of Mina's "security measures" had previously caused said braid to transform into a snapping viper, the flinch was understandable (although quite amusing).

"I stunned you," Lily said with a shrug, "That's what happens when you skulk around in the dark in other people's bedrooms."

Back on her feet but still a bit shaky, Sloan grumbled, "Wasn't skulking. We just wanted to talk to you. Well, you and Burbage, anyways. MacDonald and Meadowes are lost causes, and we figured they'd be out enjoying the mayhem."

Lily had an inkling about where the conversation was headed and didn't like it at all.

"We're sick of Lupin," snarled Merrigan. The stocky girl's thick arms tensed and shook at her sides, her light brown hair pulled back in a neat knot. "She needs to be put in her place."

Though she knew, logically, that it wasn't the best idea, Lily immediately burst into laughter. "_Her place_?" she snickered, still aware how unhelpful the behavior was, "You tried to attack her and got your arses thoroughly kicked. How many more times are you going to do the same thing before you learn that _your place_ is simply _far away from hers_?"

After years of futile annoyance, Lily had finally accepted that there was no viable way to combat Mina Lupin individually or the Marauders as a whole. They did what they wanted and didn't give a damn about the consequences. Apart from corporal punishment, expulsion, or incarceration, there was just no real option left to dampen their lunacy.

"Don't be so sure," Merrigan hissed, "We aren't the only people in the castle who would be glad to see her brought down a few pegs. I guess we were wrong in thinking you were one of the many."

Figuring that she might be able to at least figure out if the two seventh-years were a serious threat or just posturing, Lily drawled, "I may be a Gryffindor, but I'm not charge-blindly-into-battles-I-can't-win Gryffindor. Lupin mostly leaves me alone these days. Why would I want to risk that for one of you half-baked schemes?"

Sloan scowled but primly announced, "Well, it's not really our scheme, if that puts your mind at rest. We're just-" Her sinister exposition cut off with a loud belch, which was quickly followed by iridescent pink and silver bubbles spewing copiously from the girl's mouth.

(Lily could've sworn she saw tiny men wearing tailcoats and top hats dancing rather badly inside the colorful spheres.)

Hastily slapping her hands over her lips, Sloan adopted an expression of mortified horror.

Merrigan growled. "That's been happening for _hours_!" she bellowed, "Lupin somehow tagged half the bloody castle with these _moronic_ curses! Every book or parchment Imelda touches turns into _pornography_, and my bra keeps _unhooking itself_!" The stocky girl twitched and directed a startled glance over her shoulder, scowling suspiciously when she found nothing but Charity's raincoat. "It's like I can hear that bloody psycho laughing at me all the time..."

With a quiet hiccup, Sloan defeated her case of... er... neon-dancing-man-bubble burps and commented, "That's not even the worst. Have you seen those massive scorpions? Most of Slytherin has cauliflower growing out of their noses! The first-years are all playing on some giant, invisible spiral slide that goes from the seventh floor landing to the entry hall! That can't _possibly _be safe!"

Lily hadn't heard about the slide, which sounded immensely fun. She also hadn't been the victim of a single one of the multitude of rogue curses and knew that James was to thank for that; his silly little carving had shivered in her pocket occasionally throughout the day, the runes apparently dismissing any absurd magic before it could take hold.

Merrigan's nasty visage turned even nastier. "A few people overheard Sophie and I talking about what to do with Lupin," she drawled, "Unsurprisingly, they were very interested in helping and had some very good suggestions. All we need from you is to make sure she shows up alone at the right place and time."

Though she normally wouldn't approve of such foolishness, Lily wasn't entirely opposed to Mina getting a taste of her own medicine. However, Merrigan didn't sound like she was talking about turning the Marauder's hair pink or planting dungbombs in her underwear drawer; the looks in Merrigan's and Sloan's eyes were... bloodthirsty would probably be the most accurate description. _They've gone mental_, she decided, _Mina drove them to it, but there is no doubt these two are unhinged. _"What's going to happen to her if I do?" the redhead demanded, intent on digging for facts before she shot the idiots down. "And what _people_ are you working with? I'm not setting anyone up to be attacked by Death-Eater wannabes."

"Interested parties," sneered Merrigan, "Lupin is going to suffer all the pain and humiliation she deserves, but I'm not ending up in Azkaban over the horrid girl."

That was at least somewhat encouraging, but Lily still had a very bad feeling about the whole situation. And, quite honestly, she just plain didn't believe that the seventh-years or whoever they were working with could win against Mina. Not only was the sandy-haired girl frustratingly shameless, fearless, inventive, and powerful, but she also had the bloody Marauders watching her back. Even if Merrigan or Sloan or their mysterious accomplices managed to land a single hit, they would almost certainly be utterly destroyed before they could think of landing another.

Regardless, Mina would be furious and probably murder Lily in her sleep. James would be hurt by the act of blatant and spiteful treachery against the girl he considered his sister.

Lily blinked and nearly groaned. _Since when do I care about hurting James bloody Potter's feelings? Since when do I feel any kind of loyalty to any of them?_

"Sorry, but no," the redhead stated primly, "I'm a prefect. Sloan, _you're_ a prefect. As far as I can tell, all the little pranks, as stupid as they are, haven't hurt anyone. You can't just go around attacking people because they're obnoxious and juvenile and have bizarre senses of humor."

The two older girls glared.

"Drop this nonsense right now," Lily scolded, "It'll end badly, and I'm sure as hell not going to cover for you _when_ you're caught."

Honestly, Lily was starting to think that she was a horrible judge of character. She had known Merrigan and Sloan, at least by sight and a few cordial conversations in the common room, since she had started at Hogwarts. However, Lily had never before suspected that either girl was capable of such pointless viciousness. Most of the sleights they perceived Mina as having committed against them were basically their own fault (arguments they started and then lost spectacularly, the failed attempt to infiltrate Mina's trunk, etc.), yet the two girls persisted with the idea that they were the injured parties and had the right to take exponential revenge as they saw fit.

They also seemed to be of the opinion that anyone who stood in their way was fair game as well because both went for their wands.

Once again, Lily was able to stun Sloan before the seventh-year could do much more than gesture foolishly, but, in the time it took to neutralize one threat, the other was halfway through shouting a memory charm. Lily had no room to dodge and never would've gotten her shield up in time.

The strange meeting would've been erased entirely from Lily's mind if a silent but dazzling streak of buttery yellow light hadn't erupted from the other side of the room, sailed over Lily's left shoulder, and struck Merrigan directly between the eyes.

After Merrigan's body crumbled to the floor, there was a long, uncomfortable moment of calm before a familiar voice in the darkness remarked, "Be honest, Lily. You were a little tempted to help them."

"Mary?" Lily murmured. She bound her would-be attackers before moving the sputtering candle into a more useful position.

The tall, curvy keeper stepped out of the shadows, grinning fiercely at the two unconscious seventh-years. "I was looking for something under my bed when those idiots came in," Mary explained, tossing a sleek pigtail over her shoulder, "They didn't notice me, so I decided to stay hidden and watch them. I had hoped they would be stupid enough to mess with Mina's trunk again, but this was also fairly entertaining, not to mention informative."

Lily's mouth opened and closed a few times as her usually sharp brain struggled to cobble together a reasonably coherent response. Finally, the redhead demanded, "What are you going to do to them?" The fact that _something_ would be done was a foregone conclusion. Well, something _else_ because Merrigan's face was already sprouting slimy, inquisitive yellow tentacles...

"Haven't decided," Mary pouted, fixing a speculative look on her hapless, helpless prey, "It's a lot of pressure. I've never had to come up with anything all on my own before, and I _know_ Mina is going to bitch if I don't think of something _really _good."

The knowledge that she'd nearly had a moment of her own life callously stolen by the spiteful wretches on the floor sunk in, and Lily's temper flared. She found herself coolly responding, "Well, I might be able to help you with that..."

xxXxx

Padfoot spent nearly all night with the puppy-dog eyes on full blast, whining his canine heart out. And even though Moony seemed perpetually disgusted by the display, he did try to help a few times, which mainly consisted of tackling, sitting on, and snarling at his sister until she at least rested a bit.

Of course, none of those actions forced... er, _convinced_ Sunny to partake in any of the short naps to which the other Marauders treated themselves. Prongs was practically foaming at the mouth; it was a rather odd sight for the normally docile stag.

Morning broke with no debilitating injuries but a fair share of fatigue. Sirius wasn't sure how he was going to stay in the air and resolved to have a talk with Walker about catching the snitch as quickly as possible.

"What the hell?"

Sirius stopped just in time to avoid colliding with Mina's back, but James wasn't quick enough to pay him the same courtesy, nor to leave the skin on his heels intact. Damn invisibility cloak. They really needed to learn a decent disillusionment charm.

He glanced toward the school where, to his utter befuddlement, the young man saw two girls defacing the castle walls. After another moment to tentatively identify the girls as seventh-years (though their names proved elusive), Sirius got around to noticing that... that they seemed to be writing lines.

Tall red letters to the right of the entrance repeated "_I MUST NOT CONSPIRE TO HARM MY FELLOW STUDENTS_." The copied phrase to the left of the entrance intoned "_I MUST NOT USE MEMORY CHARMS AGAINST MY FELLOW STUDENTS_."

Though thoroughly confused, Sirius chuckled, "Sunny, what-"

"Don't look at me," the girl hissed, "I don't know anything about... memory charms? Who the fuck has Merrigan been trying to memory charm?"

James gave a weak chuckle and commented, "Well, whoever she picked seems to have retaliated quite nicely... some sort of long-term compulsion hex, if I'm not mistaken."

Though her thin frame shook with barely restrained fury, Mina returned a slow nod. "Judging by the amount of graffiti," she speculated, "A much longer one than I've been able to manage. The dumb twats must've been writing half the night."

"Only a few hours."

They all jumped; Sirius heard a squeak and was able to track Wormtail's fleeing by the movement of the tall grass.

Auror Moody contorted his scarred, weathered face into an approximation of a smile, and, despite having been scared witless by the sudden appearance, Sirius couldn't help being impressed by the old man's stealth; surely it was a credit to his expertise that he could locate and sneak up on three invisible teens who possessed super-charged Animagus senses. And all with only one leg at his disposal, too.

"Hell, girlie," Moody chuckled gruffly, "I think I'll hire you just to torment my new recruits. Fine job sealing the castle. I was barely starting to make progress on getting through. Granted, I'm no curse-breaker, but I'm no slouch, either."

Smirking, Mina replied, "I can't take all the credit. Only most of it." Her expression morphed. "Did you just call me _girlie_?"

Moody raised the remains of an eyebrow but ignored the outrage in favor of inquiring, "Planning on releasing my aurors any time soon?"

While James whipped off and stored the cloak, Sirius laughed, "Dunno. D'ya think they learned their lesson? What was it again, Sunny? _'No' means 'fuck off, you bossy cunt'_?"

Seeing Moody's confusion, Mina huffed and explained, "I told them I had plans, but they kept insisting that they were going to take me on some big-deal training exercise."

Moody stared for a few moments. Then he pinched the crooked bridge of his gnarled nose. "This..." he sighed, incredulous, "You... You threw the entire school into chaos... made four of my best look like bleedin' morons... over a _scheduling dispute_?"

"And because it was fun," Sirius contributed. He yawned and stretched, the loud popping of stiff joints echoing through the chilly dawn.

xxXxx

Originally, James had no intention of letting Suzi play. The thought never even crossed his mind. After hearing that Zane Creevy was out of commission following an ill-fated encounter with a mackled malaclaw, the captain's first instinct was to shift Sirius into the vacant chaser position and shanghai the burliest Gryffindor he could into the beater spot. Seventh-year Caradoc Dearborn would've done nicely. Hell, fifth-year Sherman Frobisher was built like a troll and couldn't be too terrible; his twin, Stanley, beat for Hufflepuff, after all.

But that plan fell apart quite quickly after Suzi ambushed James outside the Hospital Wing.

"I won't let you down, Captain," the little blonde third-year had gushed, all earnest and eager and... and...

Fuck. James was such a bloody _pushover_.

The issue wasn't that Suzi wasn't a damn good player, or that he thought she would give anything but her best. Their unofficial reserve came to every training session (optional or just strongly encouraged) and soaked up skills, from every position, like a sponge with a mission. But Suzi was _small_. And as grueling as James's practices were, they weren't suitable preparation for being on the field against ruthless arseholes who'd happily kill for every point, who considered being small and young and female an invitation for violence.

"DOWN!" he heard, rolling instinctively and narrowly avoiding taking a bludger to the head.

Delwyn Jones wasn't quite as lucky but didn't drop the quaffle. Spun by the hit, dazed and bleeding from the temple, the dark-skinned seventh-year managed a solid throw to their youngest member.

With solemnity and focus seldom seen outside war councils, Suzi streaked through the throngs of enemy players. She ducked, darted, and weaved, avoiding major but not all injuries. A textbook deke yielded a tidy goal.

The crowd erupted.

Only Mina throwing her own body between the chaser and an incoming bat prevented a retaliatory concussion.

As he had during the last three timeouts, James used the ruse of counseling his players as cover for sneakily healing their more critical hurts. While not strictly against the rules, mid-air triage was most definitely frowned upon; too many over-eager yet inept captains had permanently maimed their teammates in an attempt to gain an edge. Fortunately, James was neither over-eager nor inept.

"I'll provide unlimited booze and weed for anyone who can ram a broomstick straight up Montague's fat arse," Mina complained, breathing shallowly, hawking gobs of pink-tinged mucus into the air and watching them plummet the thirty-or-so meters to the pitch. Her eyebrow, cheek, and chin were split, bleeding sluggishly and staining her uniform collar. "Sodding rhino. High-speed rectal trauma is the least he deserves!"

Suzi snorted and then collapsed into giggles. Despite how well the girl was performing, moments of calm saw her a little unsteady. Considering how many attempts had been made on her life in the hours of play thus far, James couldn't blame her. And they were all growing progressively wearier as the game dragged on.

"Lupin," the lanky teen replied, trying not to be too admonishing but too on-edge to entirely succeed, "Just keep the bastards away from Kemp. Black, you're watching Walker. Hopefully a little extra cover will help him end this faster. The rest of us are mostly on our own, so try not to die-"

"Inspirational," murmured Sirius, "A credit to his office."

Ignoring the interruption, James continued, "The lead is ours, but I'd like it to be a bit more comfortable. Up the pressure on Sinclair. She's still quite green and looking to prove herself. If we can fluster her, Agnelli and Wilkes will have to pick up the slack, and they're pretty shit in the teamwork department. Got it? Good." With a muffled grunt, he popped his left pinky and ring fingers back into their sockets. Well. That was much better. Staying on a broom was always easier when one's bones were correctly aligned.

Settling into formation, trying and failing not to shiver in the miserable mist, James waited for the whistle. He listened to Meadowes's unceasing commentary and tried to watch both his own players and the Slytherin ones. Driscoll was fading in the rings, and the two beaters, Montague and Higgs, were getting as good as they were giving (James had sworn he saw Mina catch and gleefully pocket a molar mid-play). However, all three Slytherins happened to be fairly recent victims of humiliation at Mina's and (surprisingly) Mary's hands and so remained determine to cause as much carnage as they could get away with.

Which was a lot. Having a professional quidditch player show up to referee the match had sounded like a cool idea. Until James discovered that the surprise had been arranged by Slughorn and that the "honored guest" was a former Slug Club member. An unrepentant bootlicker desperately clinging to his glory days during the embarrassing downswing of his career.

Their esteemed potions master finally seemed to be striking back with more than just pitiful bluster, and his stooge hadn't yet made an unbiased call. Unless, of course, the rules had been changed to allow eye-gouging as a part of normal play.

The game resumed. James sank three unanswered goals, Suzi assisting beautifully every time and bringing the score up to a respectable 260-110. They were outclassing the Slytherins by miles and quickly regained possession.

Several things happened almost simultaneously; the full series of events only came to light when the bits and pieces were told and assembled later in the common room.

Toward the middle of the pitch, Montague abandoned any semblance of sportsmanship, turning sharply and winding up and two-handedly slamming his bat against Mina's forehead. There was a reverberating _CRACK_, a literal explosion of blood, and Mina was nearly thrown from her broom. By some outrageous miracle or perhaps just her own insurmountable stubbornness, the girl managed to lock her knees and ankles and stay airborne. But she was done, knocked completely senseless and unable to do much more than dangle upside-down until the game ended less than a minute later and Mary towed her to the waiting nurse. Sirius would be in detention for a week when, shortly after the teams touched down, he was informed of his love's condition and promptly pummeled Montague unconscious in front of a stadium full of witnesses.

Zooming toward the Slytherin rings, James received a pass from Jones and then shouldered past Agnelli, fighting for every inch and earning another bruise to the jaw for his trouble. The bespectacled chaser heard the _CRACK_, though he didn't know then what the nauseating sound was or that it had left Suzi unguarded or that Montague went straight from braining Mina to grabbing the smaller girl by the hair and ripping her off her dependable Cleansweep. James began to take his shot but a scream from far above and a rapidly plummeting figure in Gryffindor red instantly shifted his focus; without hesitation, with speed and daring to make any seeker proud, he dove. Dove so fast his eyes watered against the rush of wind. He seized Suzi around the waist barely a heartbeat from the ground and pretended not to notice how badly she shook as she clung to him like a barnacle. An announcement that the snitch had been caught didn't elicit any response in the lad other than an exhausted thought of _Finally_.

High in the air, the seeker battle raged. Walker had spotted the snitch, but Regulus Black had spotted Walker spotting the snitch, and Regulus, riding the better broom, quickly closed the gap. Even though the _CRACK_ worried Sirius, he didn't allow it to distract him from his job of guarding Walker against Higgs's increasingly violent interference. However, no one had taken into account that Regulus might elbow Walker in the throat just as the younger boy's fingers brushed the snitch. Walker, left choking for air, lost just enough speed for his opponent to steal the catch. The small ginger boy only made it safely to the ground with Sirius's assistance. Of course, Sirius dropped Walker in a hot second after seeing that Mina's entire face was dripping in gore. And although the girl remained awake enough to be slurring abuse at the nurse, Sirius became so incensed that he couldn't _not_ launch himself at Montague and administer the aforementioned beating.

But in the end, the game was a tie. A bloody tie, in the most literal fashion.

xxXxx

"Y'think they were upset about us filling their common room with slugs and worms?" Mina wondered aloud, the top half of her face was still bruised and swollen, her recently fractured skull still feeling rather... sloshy. "Or was that nothing more than their usual bastardly behavior?"

Snorting, Sirius kept a steady arm around her shoulders. He replied, "Poor dears were just a little cranky. I heard they were up most of the night trying to clear a path to their beds. Apparently the slugs and worms multiplied by three every time anyone tried to vanish them."

Mina giggled, a stilted, choking noise that made her nose throb. "How's Prongs taking it?" she inquired, "Do we need to put him on suicide watch again?"

"Nah," said Sirius, "He's alright. Nearly every girl in the school is fawning over how he gave up the win to save the damsel in distress. I think he might very well end up with his own harem."

Nodding, Mary agreed, "Plus it was still a tie. That's not so terrible considering the referee was against us from the start. The whole production was disgraceful and almost deadly. I've already written to my uncle, and he's going to get the Quidditch League to investigate. Just because it was a school game didn't mean that arsehole didn't have the responsibility to act with some smidge of professionalism."

Remus spared her a tired yet appreciative smile.

"Bagman is a pathetic washout," Mina commented, "He should've retired years ago when he still had some pride."

The four guard aurors appeared, clinging to each other and singing bawdy, off-key drinking songs. Moody was stuck behind them, wrangling the group like a herd of cats. He jabbed Frank in the back with his cane, growling, "Not that I don't find this amusing, but I need you to restore these simpletons to full function before I can discipline them."

Mina snorted. And then was immediately blinded by the intense cerebral pain that followed. _Note to self: don't do that... also, kill Montague..._

While doting lovingly over his injured girlfriend, Sirius laughed, "Well, from the looks of them, they must've tried to use one of the floos. Pete was supposed to tag those with an inebriation jinx."

Groaning, Mina complained, "Oh, you didn't pawn that one off on him, did you? The jinx tends to impart the caster's own experiences with being drunk, and Pete turns bloody nudist at the drop of a hat!"

"NUDE!" shouted one of the Prewetts, probably Gideon, "THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!"

"YOU'RE SMART!" bellowed Fabian, "EVIL, BUT SMART!"

"Ow," Mina complained, screwing her eyes shut against the agony, "Not so loud, you dicks. Massive head trauma over here." Maybe she should've stayed at the mercy of the nurse; at least the Hospital Wing was fucking _quiet_.

Moody stunned the brawny redheads the second they started stripping, leaving them as drooling puddles of half-dressed freckled flesh.

The intervening moments were more than enough opportunity for Frank and Alice to fall to the floor as well, although they chose to engage in a clumsy snogging session. There were slurred declarations of infatuation and pleasure.

"Damnit!" Mina swore. And then she winced again, trying to massage her aching temples as she handed Mary a galleon.

Smugly, the keeper giggled, "The jinx should wear off on its own. Just don't use a sobering charm unless you have a few liters of hangover potion standing by. Especially since it's already gone on so long. Who knew little Peter had that kind of power in him?"

Moody sighed, wearily. And then he let out a gut-shaking laugh. "Job offer still stands," he declared, "Not only were they effectively incapacitated, rendering them this inept further hindered all efforts to restore order to the castle last night. Fuckwit and Fuckwit over there kept challenging the professors to duels, and the future Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom never made it out of the broom cupboard. All from a prank jinx? Fuckin' brilliant. I've got to remember to add that one to the training repertoire."

"Mhmm," Mina hummed, "S'that all? Cuz I don't know if you guessed but this-" she gestured to her swollen face, the mask of dark bruising around both eyes and the clotted bandage stuck to her forehead "-kind of smarts, and I'd like to be somewhere a bit more horizontal before the pain potions start wearing off."

With one last gruff chuckle, Moody agreed, "Ya, I suppose you would. I'll have to handle these jackarses on my own." As the group of students left (stepping deftly around the mounds of unconscious and/or groping aurors), Mina heard the old man enchant an _aguamenti_ and shout, "Oh, fuck's sake, you two! I know this has been a long time coming, but can't you wait another blasted day before spawning a mascot?!"

"Mascot?" wondered Mary.

Mina laughed but instantly had to stop and allow Sirius to handle the explanation. "It's an old joke," he said, "Aurors call each others' kids mascots. The traditional gift to a coworker's newborn is a bunny costume, which the offspring are then of course encouraged to wear on all visits."

Adopting an expression of disbelief, Mary drawled, "You're telling me that aurors, the hardened warriors who are our last line of defense against murderers and dark wizards, have chosen babies in bunny costumes as their unofficial mascot?"

"One of many reasons they aren't known for their sanity," murmured Mina, "Mr. and Mrs. P said that Jamie was a big favorite in his day. There are some fabled pictures, but nobody seems to be able to find them. Quite suspicious, really."

Mary stared blankly for a few moments as those revelations sank in. Finally, the tall girl shook her head. "You are _so_ taking the piss."

With a weary but dangerous grin, Remus murmured, "It's easy enough to prove. Just call James '_mummy's fluffy little bun-bun_' and watch him die of embarrassment."

xxXxx

Lily wasn't certain who was more embarrassed by the attention: James Potter or Suzi Kemp. Lily also wasn't certain who was going to kill James first: Peter Pettigrew or Edgar Bones.

"We were so scared!" Yvette gushed, nearly strangling her youngest sister while at the same time draping her willowy body against James's, "Suzi fell, and I thought she was going to _die_! I couldn't stop screaming!"

On the chaser's other side, also ignoring her own boyfriend, Bernadette tearfully agreed, "And then you just- she was going to hit the ground, and you- James, you were _so brave_!"

Though she tried not to, Lily took perverse delight in watching the black-haired teen squirm. "It was, uh, no trouble," he said, doing his best to offer a cocky smirk, "Suzi's no good to us squished, after all."

Fourth-year Cosette suddenly flung herself into James's lap, squeezing him tightly and bawling, "You di-dn't ev-en h-h-hesi-tate! You c-ould've wo-n, but y-ou s-s-saved Suzi in-stead!"

"Coco, stop it!" Suzi complained, absolutely scandalized but trapped in her other sister's embrace, "You can't bloody _cry_ on the _quidditch captain_!"

Though much shyer than the rest of the family, Paulette leaned over the back of the couch and gave James a firm hug around his shoulders. "I hate quidditch," the slender seventh-year announced, mumbling into the boy's neck, "Awful, awful game. But you, Potter, you can do no wrong as far as the Kemps are concerned."

James turned slightly pink. It was _adorable_. "That's really not necessary," he argued, "I'm sure every one of the other players would've done the same. I just happened to be the closest."

"And Suzi would've been fine," Pettigrew blurted, apparently unable to restrain his displeasure any longer as he glared daggers, "The ground was soft. She would've been _totally fine_."

Yvette, usually a kind, bubbly girl, nearly snarled in reply. "Suzi still would've been hurt!" the blonde shouted, "She might've even landed wrong and snapped her neck! James is a _hero_!"

The other three Hufflepuffs wholeheartedly agreed. Ed remained quite disgruntled over Bernardette's position snuggling against James, but, unlike Pettigrew, the Ravenclaw wisely kept his mouth shut.

Further discussion halted as Mina chose the moment to fall into a nearby armchair. "Ugh," the girl groaned, barely resisting when Black picked her up and rearranged her onto his lap, "Who the fuck let Chloe Bell into the party? I'm gone for a few hours, and the whole Tower goes to shit." The sandy-haired Animagus looked like... well, like she'd been cracked across the face with a bat. That's what everyone said happened, but Lily hadn't seen it; she'd been far too busy biting her fingernails to ragged nubs as she watched James fight his way through the throngs of Slytherins, as he performed that death-defying vertical dive...

"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" Ed asked, his cinnamon fringe falling in his similarly colored eyes as they softened with concern.

"Like I'd give the old shrew or Montague any such satisfaction," replied Mina. She smiled but the movement was hesitant, as if she'd already learned just how much pain her customary wide yet deranged grin would earn. Heck, considering that most of her head was one giant, swollen, bloody bruise, just the fact that the girl retained the ability to walk and talk boggled Lily's mind. And those were only the visible injuries.

Sighing heavily, James finally found the motivation to fight his way out of the pile of attractive blondes. He strode onto and over the low coffee table and gently examined his friend's damaged cranium. Black helped persuade the girl to cooperate when she began squirming away. Soon, Remus had joined the whispered, intimate conversation, Mary seated on the arm rest and watching the three boys' lovingly dote, watching James cast several healing spells that instantly improved on the nurse's work.

Only Pettigrew stayed away, alternating between pouting and glaring at both his friend and girlfriend, neither of whom seemed to notice or care.

xxXxx

One joke. One little, offhanded joke was all it took. _The Bloody Tie_. During their party (because why the hell would they _not _still have a party?), that's what James had called the recent game. Of course, at the time, he may have just witnessed Tia launch herself at Mina and immediately start sobbing about how horrible quidditch was. And Mina may have floundered rather comically in her attempts to reassure the tiny sprite, arguing that _quidditch _wasn't horrible; _psychotic Slytherins and blatantly prejudiced referees provided by Slughorn_ were horrible.

On the following Monday, most of the school showed up to breakfast wearing _bloody ties_. Just animal blood from the kitchens, hopefully, but the gruesome effect was still the same.

After spending most of the meal observing the strange display, Dumbledore stood and gathered attention with a short overhead burst of sound from his wand. "I find myself wondering," the old man began, "Why so many of you students have chosen to arrive this morning in such an unusual state of dress. Would anyone care to explain?"

Barely a moment passed before Yvette Kemp jumped to her feet. She rather looked like she'd been crying all weekend (which made sense since Pete got drunk, started a huge fight, made an arse of himself, and then broke up with her at the party), but the blonde's voice didn't waver. "Well, sir," she declared, "We were under the impression that the school was now sanctioning bloody ties, and we dressed ourselves accordingly." Though the comments seemed entirely genuine, the vocabulary and delivery suggested that she had rehearsed the remark beforehand. Which probably meant that someone had scripted it for her.

There were jeers and laughter from every table aside from the one occupied by the pricks in green. Well, and the professors, who just looked rather embarrassed; even they knew that the match had been a travesty, and Slughorn appeared almost apoplectic at the thought that no one had appreciated his referee's performance.

Listening as Yvette and the other Hufflepuff sisters argued heatedly with the unflappable headmaster, Mina chuckled but rolled her eyes, which caused another wince before the girl murmured, "Hell, Prongs. Those Kemps really do adore you."

Chuckling, James responded, "Sunny, you were the most injured, so I don't think I'm the only person the Kemps now adore."

Mina scowled, and Sirius took the opportunity to preempt any shouting (which still gave his girlfriend migraines, even if the shouting was her own) by kissing the lass on the cheek and humming, "Mmm. Sunshine. They're _Hufflepuffs_. When it's bad enough for _Hufflepuffs _to complain, even complete fucking morons take notice. Plus, they've got that whole _loyalty_ thing."

"Pretty stupid, if you ask me," muttered Pete. He continued to glower into his eggs, occasionally giving them a good stab for whatever transgression they'd perpetrated.

"Nobody did," James murmured, distractedly performing his morning ritual of trying to stare at Evans without being noticed.

An enormous barn owl swooped down the length of the table and came to a halt directly in front of Remus. The bird offered the letter it carried, its creepy face swiveling and its dead black eyes staring at everything and nothing.

(Barn owls were Sirius's least favorite type of owl. He remembered thinking as a boy that they were demons, and he always hid when any happened to arrive at Grimmauld Place.)

"Shoo!" the black-haired teen demanded when the bird didn't leave, "Go away, scary face! Back to hell where you belong! You're not getting any of our bacon!"

People stared at Sirius, rather obviously wondering about his sanity. Well. Maybe he said that a bit louder than intended...

Mina giggled and snorted and then immediately whimpered, fingertips gingerly pressing against the yellowing bruises beneath her eyes. "Ow," she groaned, leaning against Sirius's shoulder, "Paddy, until my skull fractures fully heal, would you mind being a little less hilarious?"

"Sorry, love," he replied, holding her close, "I'll do my best."

"So what did the scary-face owl bring our dear Mr. Moony on this glorious morn?" James inquired lightly. He tried to reach across the table to steal the parchment, but Mary slapped his hand away.

Primly, with a completely straight face, the tall keeper scolded, "Didn't _mummy's fluffy little bun-bun_ ever learn it's rude to grab things that don't belong to him?"

James's entire face flamed an unattractive shade of pure red mortification, the lad gaping and spluttering and demanding to know who the hell bloody _told_.

Mina laughed into Sirius's shoulder, alternating her unrestrained cackles with pained gasps of, "Ow... ow... fuckin _ow_..."

And while all that was going on, Sirius and Remus shared a look over the top of the girl's head. "_Joy_," Remus mouthed soundlessly.

The demon owl must've brought a lead on the mysterious Great Aunt Joy. Sirius couldn't help feeling like that was a rather bad omen...

xxxxxxxxxx

Once again you loyal readers get to benefit from my procrastination. I definitely should've been doing several other very important things rather than writing fanfic. Oops.

Remember: the only bad review is the one not written ;)


	38. Pfeffernüsse

Part 38 – Pfeffernüsse

"Miss Lupin," the professor called, "Please, stay a moment."

Sighing heavily, Mina kissed her boyfriend goodbye. She dawdled over packing her belongings until the classroom had emptied before finally approaching McGonagall's desk. "Yes, ma'am?" the girl inquired innocently.

McGonagall's expression clearly showed that the sable-haired old woman had not been the least bit fooled by the act. She conjured a chair and gestured Mina into it, producing a familiar scroll of parchment. "Recognize this?"

Mina raised an eyebrow. "Last week's essay? Well, it's been a few months since I actually wrote it..."

"The topic was _Practical Uses of Inanimate to Animate Transfiguration_," reminded McGonagall. She unfurled the parchment and read, "_Inanimate to Animate Transfigurations are not only useful, but also fun. I employ them all the time to Transfigure my idiot friends' dirty laundry into enormous crabs, which I then sic upon the boys. I like to scream, 'Hahaha, you wankers got crabs!' Really, this is the only way they ever clean their dorm, so the spells do a lot of good toward preventing the spread of toxic waste and educating poor stupid wizards about the hazards of STDs._" The professor broke off from the three-foot diatribe on atrocious male hygiene (that Mina thought she must've written while slightly loopy from vodka and sleep deprivation) to glare pointedly at her student.

Valiantly fighting the urge to laugh, Mina bit her lip and murmured, "Oh... well... that... may have been an early draft I turned in on accident..."

"Hmm," the professor hummed, "Indeed." She handed the essay back. "You're normally so prompt that I suppose I can allow you a rewrite. But, Mina, you'll remember we spoke of this during your last academic conference? You would be the top of your year if you didn't keep submitting assignments with these sorts of... _mistakes_. You are ahead of the majority of your peers, yet you force your professors to take off points for inappropriate essays and homework."

Mina smirked, stating, "Maybe you'll remember, Professor, but we also established without a doubt that grades during the last several years don't matter at all. I qualified for all the OWLs I desired, which got me into all the NEWT classes I wanted. Prospective employers only look at NEWT scores, so I really have no need to impress anyone until the end of seventh year." Cutting off additional argument, the girl continued, "Although you recommendation is of course appreciated, and I will endeavor to earn it many times over."

Doing her best not to chuckle in a most unprofessional manner, McGonagall replied, "Yes, well, my recommendation would be guaranteed if I knew one of my star pupils was at least studying toward the Animagus Transfiguration."

Mina nearly groaned, again rather tempted to just transform. The girl often debated such a play; although her professor would quit nagging, although any mastery-level apprenticeship would be a complete formality, although the look on McGonagall's face would be _priceless_, Mina had to keep in mind that revealing and registering her form was an inconvenience she couldn't risk. With the way the Ministry leaked like sieve, a distinctively sandy wolf on the loose didn't have much stealth value.

"Sorry, Professor," the girl said, grinning, "Maybe next year. I don't think it's the best use of my time. I'm rather swamped making lenses for Professor Varela. We think we might get a glimpse of Pluto."

An accompanying eye roll did not go unnoticed; McGonagall's belief that Mina was wasting her potential had been well voiced. "I hope you'll reconsider," the elderly professor declared, "And there is another matter to discuss..." She sighed and... smirked. "The headmaster asked me to attempt to persuade you to accept assistance from the Department of Mysteries."

Ugh. Those bastards just didn't quit.

After a brief beat, McGonagall chuckled, "Well, have my flawless logic and expert manipulation persuaded you?"

"No, ma'am. Sorry to say, they have not."

"Oh darn."

Mina's respect multiplied times four.

"That will be all, Miss Lupin."

"You're the best, McG." Mina didn't stop laughing until well after dinner.

xxXxx

Sirius's brother was kind of an odd duck. One of the many ways in which this information rang true was that the younger, Slytherinier Black often walked around the castle without a battalion of enforcers.

Sirius deliberately interpreted this to mean that his little brother welcomed his presence at any free moment.

"AHhhh! What the fu-"

"REG!' Sirius giggled, smothering and smooching his tackled sibling against the floor of the alcove, "I missed you! How've you been, baby brother?"

A slightly varied version of Sirius's own face scowled up at him, slender limbs thrashing irritably. "Just fine until a moment ago!" the boy hollered, "Get off me, you lout!"

"Aw," cooed Sirius, "Cranky."

Regulus returned one of those you-are-such-a-moron-I-cannot-believe-we're-related looks that he'd been perfecting since he could walk. "I take it there is some purpose to this exercise?" the young snake hissed, "Other than spoiling my pleasant day?"

With a grin and a flourish, Sirius produced a small wrapped package. He placed the gift next to Reg's head and chirped, "Happy Christmas!"

The teen glared at the object.

"What?" pouted Sirius, still perched on his brother's ribcage, "You didn't think I'd forget, did you? C'mon, Reg. I promise it's not even booby-trapped this time." He poked the smaller boy repeatedly in the kidney, chanting, "Open it! Open it! Open it!"

"You're sitting on my arms," Regulus pointed out. "You're also crushing my lungs, but only the arms really prevent me from complying with this lunacy."

"Oh," Sirius murmured. He thought for a few moments but couldn't figure a way out of freeing some of his brother's appendages. "Alright then. I suppose... But you have to actually rip the paper this time. None of that _neatly unfolding_ bullshit, deal?"

Reg answered with a long-suffering sigh and a pronounced eye roll of acquiescence... or possibly just surrender. Given barely enough latitude to wriggle his arms free, the boy grabbed the package, shredded through the shiny paper, and opened the box he found inside. Peering into the dark square depths, Regulus frowned and asked, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Uh..." Sirius gaped, unsure of how to respond to such blasphemy, "Thoroughly enjoy yourself? Have the best Christmas Holiday in known history? Thank every deity listening for the blessing of the best big brother ever?"

"Sirius," the teen huffed, "A box of... firecrackers, alcoholic beverages, illegal narcotics, and pornography _does not_ make you the best big brother ever." He slid the package away from himself with the tip of one pale finger. "Most irresponsible, assuredly. But that is the only title to which you can lay claim... although I will nominate you for heaviest if you don't get your rotund behind off me."

Aghast, Sirius squawked, "_Rotund_?! How _dare you_!" He sat where he was for several more minutes, sulking and ignoring the increasingly violent struggles taking place beneath his _perfectly proportioned _backside. Finally, he did have to free his brother, who, he noticed, picked up, shrunk, and pocketed the seemingly unappreciated gift. With a knowing smirk, Sirius teased, "Who's irresponsible now?"

Regulus merely shrugged, brushing his uniform free of dirt and smoothing his jaw-length black hair back into a semblance of respectability. "I personally don't partake in such unseemly vices," the boy murmured, "But it occurred to me that contraband does have its uses. For example, Nereus Flint talks of little else but how difficult decent cannabis is to come by ever since Dung Fletcher graduated, so I'm sure it would be worth my while to mention that I might be able to get my hands on some."

Sirius grinned proudly. "My little Reg," he said with an exaggerated sniffle, "All grown up and bribing prefects with weed. This is a beautiful moment."

A hint of a smile flickered across the younger boy's haughty face. "Oh, shut up," said Regulus. He shuffled awkwardly for a moment before digging into his satchel. While stomping out of the alcove, he slammed a small wrapped gift against his brother's gut and grumbled, "Arse."

Upon opening the box, Sirius felt rather touched to find copious amounts of Swiss chocolate and several high-value gift certificates to various clothing and school supply stores. He had never doubted that his brother still cared about him but... well, seeing evidence that his brother cared enough to actually _take care of him_ soothed some hitherto unacknowledged insecurities.

As depressing as the ritual seemed on paper, Sirius always liked their customary clandestine Christmas gift exchange. It was a good way to start the holiday.

xxXxx

Crying in the owlery. That's what she'd been reduced to. That's what her horrible, selfish, bigoted bitch of a sister had reduced her to.

_Dear Freak,_

_My boyfriend will be spending Christmas with my family, and I would consider your absence a personal favor. Don't whine to Mum and Dad. Just stay away. Vernon is a respectable sort, and I'll never forgive you if you chase him off with your unnatural presence. _

_Petunia._

The note was so... senselessly cruel. Petunia damn well know that Lily wasn't even allowed to do magic at home, and... well, hell, the whole situation was nothing more than a thinly veiled excuse for that horse-faced twat to abuse her little sister's stubborn love. As much as the redhead didn't want to give up on Petunia, Lily didn't think she could take much more punishment without getting angry, fighting back, learning to hate that spoiled snot as much as she deserved.

But, for the moment, all Lily could do was sob, yet again mourning the Tuney she once adored, lamenting the home where she no longer felt welcome and the family she no longer felt a part of.

"ARggg! Demented feather duster! I'll fucking kill you!"

Swiping at her damp cheeks, Lily looked up just in time to see James Potter take a swing at the menacing black owl that immediately attempted to claw his eyes out. Both the owl and James missed their targets, thankfully (_who the hell tries to punch an owl?... and what kind of owl attacks a human?_), but the boy was hastily dive-bombed by three of the bird's loyal colleagues. After very shortly retreating into a fetal ball on the owlery floor, screaming more death threats and doing his best to protect his scratched face, James finally laughed (_laughed?_), "Ok, ok! I give! You win again!"

The menacing black owl seemed to dismiss its fellows with an imperial gesture before perching on James's chest. Preening the lad's still short yet unruly hair, nipping at his ears, the owl hooted softly and bent its head in expectation of a fond pat.

"Rotten cheating bastard," James chuckled, administering said pat, "We really have to do this every time I send a letter?"

Another smug hoot followed. (_Are owls capable of smugness?_)

"Keeps me on my toes, I know," James sighed. He blotted an oozing gash near his temple and then promptly healed it good as new. "But no more attempts at eye-gouging. I've only got the two, and I'd like to keep them in working order." He took off and cleaned his glasses, which seemed to be the only thing that had kept him from being renamed One-Eyed Potter.

Another hoot. A... well, _shrug_ would be the most accurate description... (_But owls don't shrug... do they?_)

A sniffle from Lily drew the attention of both creatures; the owl took to the air while James frowned and jumped to his feet. "Are you alright, Lily?" he asked urgently, "Are you hurt?" He sat beside her, strong calloused hands roaming in a quite forward but entirely clinical patdown. "Was it Merrigan? I knew we should've let Mina destroy that bitch after the memory charm thing! I'll fucking kill her-"

"I'm fine, James," the girl weakly chuckled, still doing her best to dry her swollen face (to ignore the strong yet gentle fingers cradling her ribs and her cheek). "No one did anything to me... no one here, at least... what's with you and that owl?"

Still frowning, James demanded, "Sure you're ok?" At her nod, the boy blushed and replied, "Well, my owl is a bit... evil."

Lily blinked at him. "Evil?"

"By owl standards," answered James. He grinned, holding out his arm for the bird and cuffing the creature's beak when it arrived. "When I was about nine, I decided I really wanted an owl. My parents said they wouldn't buy me one until I got my Hogwarts letter. I couldn't wait, so I decided to save up my pocket money and buy my own. Owls were a bit more expensive than I estimated, so when I got the Emporium, I didn't have enough. The shopkeeper told me I was welcome to this fine fellow for a quarter of the normal price. I didn't realize until later that that was because he'd already maimed three clerks for little to no reason. Kind of a sick sadistic weirdo..."

The jet beast puffed its feathers, exuding a pleased aura.

Shrugging, James continued, "Our first several months were rocky and responsible for most of my childhood scars, but we eventually came to an understanding. I acknowledge that I'm his faithful minion, sparring partner, and bacon supplier. In exchange, he delivers my mail. Or makes one of his harem of lady owls deliver it. He's getting a bit lazy in his old age- OW!" He flipped the bird up into the air and then frowned at the welts left on his wrist. "It was a _joke_, you ungrateful bastard!"

Though she was rather curious, Lily did not deign to delve into that obviously disturbing course of events. "W-What's his name?" she asked instead. Because that was the sort of thing a person asked about a friend's pet.

James chuckled again. "If my mum ever asks, it's Boaz," he murmured, leaning in and winking secretively, "But I really call him Beelzebub."

Giggles bubbled up and burst forth from the girl with little conscious thought, and Lily soon found herself leaning her forehead against James's surprisingly sturdy chest. Unfortunately, the laughter soon became more heartbroken sobs, which did not subside even though James automatically enclosed her in his warm, solid embrace.

At some point between bouts of alternately horrified and soothing chatter, the teen snatched the upsetting note out of her hand and wised up to what he was comforting her about. "It's times like these I'm glad I don't have siblings," James commented, "Except the honorary kind that I get to pick for myself."

"I'd even take your fake sister over my real one at the moment," Lily hiccupped, "At least Mina usually has a reason for being cruel to someone. Petunia is just... I don't know what I did to make her hate me so much!"

"Amazing what kind of destruction jealousy and insecurity can inflict on the world."

Snorting as she began to calm down enough to become somewhat embarrassed by her position, Lily reluctantly pulled away.

James was ready with a handkerchief and let the girl mop her disgusting, puffy face in peace for a few moments before he asked, "Need any help making her suffer for her heinous crimes?"

Lily laughed tearily, shaking her head. "No point," she murmured, "She already thinks I'm responsible for everything that goes even slightly wrong in her life. She whines to our parents, and they use new clothes to bribe her toward human behavior. Any retaliation would just make the cycle worse... no, it really is best that I stay away from her. Maybe someday... maybe she'll come to her senses. Though I suppose I won't hold my breath." She sniffed. "Sorry for crying all over you."

"No trouble at all," James said with a gentle grin. His fingertips glided along her cheekbone, sweeping a long lock of crimson hair back and curling it carefully around the shell of her ear.

Suddenly, Lily found herself trying to remember how to breathe.

"So I suppose that means you'll be staying here for Christmas?" James continued, not seeming to notice Lily's difficulties as he helped her to her feet, as he tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow and gallantly escorted her out of the owlery. "I'll be here as well. Mum and Dad are swamped dealing with Death Eater attacks, and they said they'd feel better if I weren't home all alone. Remus and Mina are staying, too. They still have those custody issues and are technically without a guardian, so they're obligated to remain under school supervision."

Slowly emerging from her ridiculous stupor (hoping like hell her blotchy crying face made her blush less noticeable), Lily politely inquired, "And the rest of your gang? Can I look forward to being annoyed by the full set?"

James laughed and shook his head. "Sirius's cousin Andromeda demanded Sirius's presence," the chaser explained, "Said she'd come here and drag him out by the hair if he didn't present himself. And Pete needs to be with his mum. After his dad... well, this'll be their first Christmas without him."

Also, Pettigrew had been a bit of a bastard ever since breaking up with Yvette Kemp the month before; the idiot threw a jealous fit about how Yvette treated James after he saved Suzi. The whole common room had heard the blow up during the "bloody tie" party.

"That's so sad," Lily murmured. She searched her mind for the names of anyone else who might be around for the holidays but couldn't think of many. At least none she'd care to spend much time with. All her dorm mates and most of the fifth-, sixth-, and seventh-years would be gone. Some of the younger kids were alright, but... well, she'd either have to resign herself to loneliness or tolerate Mina.

And when James began rambling about all the fun things they were planning on doing over the break, repeatedly assuring Lily that she was of course invited, the choice became an easy one.

xxXxx

"Uh... what the hell is this?" Mina demanded, glaring pointedly at her Potions professor, "Where's Kettleburn?" During the days since Sirius left for the holiday and James decided that Evans _must_ be included in all activities, Mina'd really had nothing but her class-3 creature-handling license exam to look forward to, and now Slug-guts was trying to ruin it with his gelatinous presence.

Glaring right back, the bloated walrus snapped, "Professor Kettleburn was injured and is currently recovering in the Hospital Wing. And since I have my own business at the Ministry this morning, I shall be escorting you to and from your exam. That is, if you can behave long enough."

Mina bit back a growl. "I don't know, sir," she replied, voice icier than the weather, "Are you by any chance setting me up to get my skull cracked open again?"

He blustered stupidly, staunchly denying any such malfeasance and threatening to leave the ungrateful girl behind if she didn't immediately apologize for implying otherwise. His overly loud posturing echoed around the Entrance Hall, but no one else was around to actually hear, let alone care.

Even though a mentally impaired chimp could see the truth: the Marauders pranked Slughorn; Slughorn brought in an inept crony to referee the quidditch game; Slytherin was allowed free reign; Mina ended up in the Hospital Wing. Maybe the old bastard didn't actually intend to have Mina hurt so badly or for Suzi to be nearly thrown to her death, but the pattern of events still strongly suggested that he had orchestrated the necessary conditions.

But if Slug-guts wanted to play coy, then fine. Mina would not, however, apologize for stating the obvious or for holding him accountable. "Ok then," the girl said, shrugging and spinning on her heel, "I'd much rather escort myself anyways."

Escape, as always, proved laughably easy (even more so because Mina no longer had aurors dogging her every step; Prewett, Prewett, Longbottom, and Newton had returned to normal duty weeks ago, but Mina sometimes still got the uncomfortable feeling that they (or someone else) was watching her); a few secret passages, an unguarded floo, and she actually made it to the Ministry Atrium and the security checkpoint ahead of Slughorn. She made sure to grin and wave at him before hopping into the lift.

The next several hours in the Department of Education were uneventful. Mina breezed through the written exam and was then sent to another room to await the portkey that would take her and the other test takers, three rough-looking young men, to the site of the practical portion (since Ministry policy prohibited keeping any creatures above class-1 (entirely innocuous and/or non-magical) inside the actual building). One of the men, a brawny brunette who looked like he'd been repeatedly dropped from a great height directly on his face, flirted incessantly and annoyed Mina severely. He only escaped being shown firsthand what happens to people who annoyed Mina severely because the door opened a crack and a little boy poked his head inside.

The boy frowned, sun-bleached red hair falling messily across his freckled forehead and into his pale blue eyes.

"Hello," Mina said with a warm smile, "Are you the examiner?"

Giggling hesitantly, the boy shook his head and replied, "Uh uh." He looked to be about... maybe four or five.

Mina wasn't the best at guessing kids' ages, but this one appeared to be only a year or so out of nappies. Definitely not old enough to wander the Ministry corridors alone (even if the current climate hadn't been one of daily disappearances, rapes, and murders, which, according to _the Prophet_, it most certainly was).

"Oh," she chuckled, "Well, that's good. I wouldn't be able to brag about getting my license so young if my examiner ended up being a little sprog like you." She held out her hand to coax the boy into the room, stating, "My name is Mina. What's yours?"

The boy took a few halting steps toward her, his handshake clumsy but gentlemanly all the same. "Charlie," he murmured, round freckled face stretching into a dimpled grin, "Are you the ones gonna go see dang'rous aminals?"

"Not too dangerous," Mina answered, "Just a little dangerous. But that's why we're here. We're all proving that we can be around dangerous animals without getting hurt. Then the Ministry will give us pieces of paper that say how well we did, and we can try to get jobs working with those kinds of animals." She poked the boy jokingly, teasing, "Are you _sure_ you're not the examiner? Not trying to trick me, are you? Is this part of the test?"

Charlie giggled again, shaking his head. "I wanna see 'em, too!" he declared, "Bill said you gotta take a test, and then you go see _dragons_!"

"Oh," laughed Mina, "Well, sorry to disappoint, cutie, but that's a _class-5_ license. This is only for the _class-3_. We can handle cool animals like hippogriffs and fwoopers and poisonous snakes."

Eyes going wide, the little redhead nervously clutched his tiny fingers into the hem of his rumpled, likely hand-knit sweater. "Poison snakes?" he whispered, looking around like he didn't trust one not to be hiding nearby, "Those're scary!"

"Of course you should always be careful around snakes," Mina corrected, "Any animal, really, especially ones you think might be poisonous, but most wouldn't want to hurt a person on purpose. Snakes are cool. They're a lot like dragons, you know."

Charlie perked right up. "They are?"

Nodding, Mina said, "Snakes are a kind of animal called reptiles. That means they have scales, and they lay eggs, and they need the sun to stay warm. Lizards are also reptiles, and dragons are just big lizards. So snakes and dragons are like... cousins."

"Cousins," he repeated, sweet expression full of innocent wonder, "_Cool_."

Mina stood and held out her hand again. "If you think that's cool," she declared, "Then I think I have a surprise in my bag that you'd really enjoy, and it's all yours if you tell me where you're supposed to be right now. As much as I'd like to hang out all day and talk about animals with you, I have to finish taking my exam soon. I just won't be able to concentrate at all unless I know you're back where you belong."

"Oh." Charlie blushed as he allowed Mina to lead him out of the waiting room. "Daddy took me 'n Bill to work today cuz Mummy needed to bring our baby brother to the hopsital. Percy gets sick a lot."

"Sorry to hear that," replied Mina, "I'm sure the hospital will take very good care of Percy. Do you know where your daddy works?"

Charlie nodded importantly. "With the muggle stuff."

Together, they found the lifts and the directory and were able to determine that _the muggle stuff_ was probably located on Level Two, in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office, a division of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Mina teased Charlie gently about being brave enough to ride the lift from Two to Five all on his own, about being smart enough to follow people who were having a conversation about the quarterly exam.

The pair had barely stepped onto the floor when they heard, "There you are!"

"Uncle Gid!"

As she watched Charlie run and jump into Gideon's muscled arms, Mina wasn't sure how to interpret her latest stroke of fortune. "Uncle Gid?" she murmured fixing her sort-of friend with a questioning stare, "I take it this handsome young man belongs to you then?"

Gideon nodded, hoisting the lad onto his hip. "One of my sister's boys," he declared, "Thanks for finding him." He playfully butted foreheads with the lad. "You are in _so much trouble_, mister. Your dad has been worried sick. We've got half the DMLE out looking for you!"

Charlie fiddled guiltily with the collar of his uncle's uniform. "Sorry," he declared, "Me n' Billy heard somebody say that people were takin dang'rous aminal tests, and Billy said that meant there were dragons. I wanted to see 'em."

Sighing heavily, Gideon hugged his nephew closer and scolded, "Wandering off in search of dragons doesn't make your story sound any better. I'd leave that part out when you tell your mum."

"Very good advice," Mina laughed, winking at the adorably pudgy child, "Once you're already in trouble, keep your mouth shut as much as possible unless you want to get in even _more_ trouble."

Charlie nodded dutifully. Then he began to squirm. "Do I get my s'prise now?" he asked, an eager smile lighting his cute little face, "You said I could have a s'prise!"

With another bright grin, Mina agreed, "So I did. One surprise, coming up." She dug through her satchel for a few moments before she found what she was looking for, presenting the flat iridescent shape to the boy.

It was nearly twice as big around as both his small hands together.

"That's a scale from a kind of dragon called a Swedish Short-Snout," explained Mina, watching fondly as Charlie gaped at the silvery blue wedge like it was the most marvelous sight he'd ever seen. "They live in the mountains in Sweden."

"Not sharp, is it?" Gideon tested the edges with a calloused thumb and, satisfied, grunted, "Ya, I suppose that's alright." He jostled his nephew. "What do you say, Charlie?"

Though Charlie was already mostly lost gazing into the swirling, shimmering colors of his present, he did manage a quiet yet heartfelt, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Mina responded. Who knew a cheap impulse buy in Camelot while she was evading his uncles would bring the little lad so much joy? "Anyways," she announced, "I'd better be getting back. My practical was supposed to start ages ago, and it would be just my luck to miss the portkey."

Gideon rolled his eyes and announced, "Don't worry about that. Slughorn is holding it up with his asinine demands, and you know how the man is when he wants something. I'd be shocked if you left before lunch."

The girl's forehead wrinkled into an irritated frown. "Slughorn? What's he got to do with this? He's not trying to sabotage my exam, is he? That spiteful pri-"

A sharp glare from Gideon cut off the impending swear.

_Right. Must edit for young ears_... "Uh... princess. Ya. Spiteful princess..." Mina actually liked that a bit more than what she'd originally planned on saying. Fit ole Slug-guts to a T.

Chuckling, Gideon stated, "You didn't know? He's here taking the same exam you are. Trying to earn the license to get his boomslang back and all. But he pulled strings and arranged a private room for the written. He's insisting that he get to do the practical in private as well, but the proctor on the other end refuses to authorize a second portkey into his ranch. Leading theories are that Slughorn either needs a clear shot to pass out bribes or simply doesn't want to embarrass himself too badly in front of a bunch of kids, you especially. But the more he makes a stink, the more the story gets around the Ministry. Hexed himself in the foot a bit, really."

Mina began to cackle. Oh. That was just... just _too perfect_. If only her friends were there to savor the moment with her.

xxXxx

"_ATTAAAAAAACK!_"

Yelping as a barrage of bewitched snowballs exploded against his head and arse, James bolted for cover. He barely managed to hurl himself behind a thick tree in time to avoid a snowball that would've been easily considered a snowcannonball. He actually felt the trunk tremble with the impact.

"No fair, Moony!" James shouted, completely unwilling to leave his current position as long as his friend was trying to kill him.

There was a gruff disembodied laugh. "Wasn't me," called Remus, "Looks like Sunny taught Tia a few spells before she left this morning."

Giggling, the tiny sprite declared, "She told me if I did a good job, she'd teach me a cool trick with icicles!"

Oh Merlin. Not the icicle thing. _Anything_ but the icicle thing. "Your insane sister is never supposed to speak of that atrocity!" James yelled, shuddering under the onslaught of traumatic memories, "It's a violation of the Winter Fun Time Treaty of 1973!"

"You don't have to tell me," Remus agreed, sounding just as concerned as James felt, "I wrote the blasted treaty! Tia, sweetheart, never, _ever_ do the icicle thing, ok?"

"But..."

James used the short ensuing argument to dash for better cover: a large boulder beside the frozen lake.

Lily was already there and put her finger to her lips to indicate silence. With a wave of her wand, the redhead erased James's tracks through the snow and then returned to stockpiling an already impressive reserve of ammo.

For the thousandth since they picked teams, James wondered how he'd gotten lucky enough to be paired with Lily. He'd anticipated Tia instantly staking a claim on him, and he wouldn't have minded in the least. But the girl had instead aimed a spleen-crushing hug at Remus, who hadn't seemed at all surprised.

James suspected that it was a setup. He reminded himself to thank the conspirators later for making the arrangements.

Sounds of confusion and crunching footsteps indicated that their prey had noticed James's disappearance. Lily gestured for James to hold position and wait. And wait. And wait...

James may have allowed himself to become a bit distracted as he used the lull as an opportunity to sneak glances at Lily. The ice crystals glittering in her hair, the pink flush on her smiling cheeks. Those luminous emerald eyes...

"NOW!" she shrieked, leaping to her feet and banishing a pile of no less than a hundred perfectly formed snowballs directly at Remus and Tia. The force with which the projectiles hit wasn't overly violent but certainly enough to provide at least the stinging smacks that James had experienced earlier.

Lily cackled like a blood-drunk gladiator, and James fell a bit more in love.

xxXxx

At three, almost four-years-of-age, Nymphadora Tonks had evolved to hyperactivity in tiny human form. She was about as spoiled as one would expect of an only child and seemed as though she'd decided that Sirius was her personal plaything, an overgrown doll that could be ordered about and ridden on and chased and painted and... well, lots of other stuff, as well, but Sirius was too tired and traumatized to remember. Every day of his holiday thus far, the little brat had woken with the sun and bounced on Sirius's stomach until he dragged himself out of bed; the ensuing hours were a haze of torturous tea parties and dress-up and absurd make-believe games, and the unfortunate teen was usually hoarse by the time he'd finished her numerous bedtime stories. If only her favorite tales didn't have so many spunky female leads for which he _had_ to do appropriately high-pitched voices.

Hell, his insomniac girlfriend was rarely so exhausting; Mina didn't sleep, but at least she _sat still_ sometimes.

"Andy," Sirius moaned, crawling on hands and knees into the kitchen of his cousin's modest cottage, "I give up. You made your point."

Smirking mightily, Andromeda leveled her superior gaze down at him. "What point would that be?" the woman prompted.

Of course she had to be difficult; Sirius expected nothing less from a Black, disowned or not. "I'll visit more often," the teen pleaded, disgustedly picking the many clumsy braids out of his long hair. (He'd never before been so close to voluntarily cutting it.)

"Might be wise," Andromeda agreed slyly, "Dora probably wouldn't be so eager to pester you every waking minute if she knew you'd be around more than once every year and a half."

"Wonder where she got that idea," Sirius murmured. _Crafty, sadistic Slytherin bitch_. He hauled his weary body onto a comfortable bar stool and gazed across the narrow island while Andy fiddled with the tea. Soon they both had steaming cups cradled in their grips, and Sirius smiled appreciatively when he detected the splash of firewhiskey his favorite cousin had added to the brew. For a few moments, he just enjoyed the silence of the bright, homey kitchen.

"So," she began, grinning crookedly, her light auburn hair falling in her dark eyes, "When do I get to meet your girlfriend? You're not trying to keep us apart, are you? Because it's my right as your family to interrogate her as much as I please."

Sirius nearly snorted scalding beverage out his nose, an action which he did not recommend anyone repeat. "Actually," the young man announced, "I meant to tell you. We're all invited to Hogwarts for Christmas lunch, if you're interested. Mina will be there, and you're welcome to try to interrogate her all you like. Just don't be surprised if she's completely uncooperative. Or sets you on fire."

Blowing daintily across the surface of her tea, Andromeda chuckled, "Sounds fun. I'll check with Ted... You could've just brought her along here, y'know."

"Unfortunately not possible," replied Sirius, only a hint of bitterness coloring his voice, "They still have the custody issue. They're not supposed to leave the supervision of the Hogwarts staff."

Andromeda agreed with a nod, "Right... who are they looking for again?"

"Their great aunt. Joy Lupin." He slurped his beverage. "Remus managed to track her as far back as 1965, but after that, she seemed to vanish. Even the records he did manage to pry out of the Ministry bureaucracy were spotty. Woman was apparently a bit of a drifter. Never married, no real job, no permanent address, in and out of the country a lot. Stuff like that."

Joy Lupin actually disappeared very shortly after Remus was bitten, which didn't seem like a coincidence.

Thoughtfully, Andromeda murmured, "Did she go to Hogwarts?"

Sirius nodded. "Class of... 1927, I believe." The Joy Lupin biography wasn't terribly interesting, but he had read it often enough to recall most of the salient data.

"A year behind Uncle Alphard, then," the tall woman noted, "It's a long shot, but maybe you should write him. He might remember something helpful."

_Hmmm... Why didn't I think of that?_ "Not a bad idea," said Sirius, "At the very least he could point us in the direction of someone who did know her. We've had a hard time even figuring out who her friends were."

"SIRI! READY OR NOT! HERE I COME!"

Swearing softly, Sirius abandoned his half-drunk drink and hurriedly wedged himself into the cabinet under the island. He sincerely hoped that little Dora was as bad at hide-and-seek as she was at walking without tripping.

xxXxx

She woke screaming, thrashing in terror until she tumbled out of bed. Only her skull bouncing off the frigid stone floor jolted Mina from the dark visions that had invaded her dreams.

For endless seconds, the girl could do nothing more than shiver and try to remember how to breathe.

"Lupin?" Evans was suddenly kneeling beside her, face in shadow and jewel-tone eyes full of concern. "Are you alright?"

No sarcastic quip or profane diatribe materialized in Mina's mind to save her from the indignity of an honest answer. So Mina said nothing. She barely even resisted when Evans gently maneuvered her into a sitting position. Mina was vaguely aware that the redhead was still speaking, that she was rubbing circles on Mina's back...

"What about the window?"

Mina shook herself, blinking hard and making another attempt to rejoin full consciousness. "Huh?"

Brow furrowed worriedly, Evans whispered, "You said '_window_.' What about it? Do you want it open? Do you need some air?"

"I didn't..." Mina tried to insist. But she was still barely getting any oxygen and had to shake that off, too. After only two false starts, she managed to climb to her feet and stumble shakily in the direction of the exit.

She was already nearly to the front doors of the school by the time Evans caught up.

Tsking mildly, the redhead tossed a cloak around Mina's shoulders.

(It was only then that Mina realized she was still in her pajamas, barefoot, and without a wand. Had the aurors still been around, they would've scolded her endlessly for such foolishness.)

Mina couldn't walk to the edge of the forest in that condition, and she wouldn't risk shifting into her Animagus form out in the open and close to the castle. Fortunately, just being outside helped dispel the last of the intense, claustrophobic panic that always came with her nightmares. And the joints she kept hidden in a secret cloak pocket certainly helped as well.

Though she wrinkled her nose and remained clear of the curling smoke, Evans stayed and took a seat beside Mina on the bottom step. The redhead snuggled into her own nightgown and cloak, casting a warming charm over herself and offering to do the same for Mina. But being out in the biting cold was half the point of the midnight sojourn, so Mina declined with a distracted wave.

They sat. For quite some time. Mina kept expecting Evans to grow bored or fed up and leave, but the other girl didn't. And Mina didn't have the energy to run her off.

Finally, just when the shivers and the weed were starting properly relax Mina, Evans inquired, "Are you feeling better?"

Mina nodded.

"And you don't remember saying anything about the window, do you?"

Glaring, Mina bit back, "Why are you even here? You never stay for Christmas." The whole situation would've been so much easier to deal with if she were alone, if she didn't have to answer any questions or tolerate being coddled.

Evans sighed. "My sister is being even more of a bitch than usual," she explained, "She didn't want me around when her boyfriend came to visit lest my _freakishness _drive him off. I didn't feel like spending the holiday fighting with her." Chuckling bitterly as she hugged herself against a gust of unusually low temperatures and low self-esteem, the girl added, "I know I shouldn't let her get away with it, but... I suppose I always have. We've been drifting apart since the moment I found out I was a witch, and I can't... I'd do anything if she'd just _stop hating me_."

Swallowing thickly to battle down an inexplicable rush of tears, Mina gazed off into the vast fields of muted white. "Sometimes," she said, "There's nothing you _can_ do."

Mina _hated _her mother. With a deep, consuming passion. But (as little as the girl was finding she remembered of her childhood) she did still recall a time when... when all she wanted was for her mummy to love her. She remembered being _so confused_ as to why the woman didn't, wondering endlessly what made Mina unworthy of affection, especially since Remus faired much better under their mother's treatment. It was a lot to wrap her young brain around, even more so when Mina, not long before her brother was bitten, came to the sudden realization that maybe her mother's hatred wasn't rational, wasn't Mina's fault. Mina was treated with the same (at best) callous indifference and (at worst) blinding rage no matter what she did. And if Mina's own behavior wasn't a factor then... then that meant her mother was just a bitter, unpredictable drunk who didn't have the shred of conscience necessary to avoid taking her own pathetic frustrations out on the vulnerable children in her care...

"The downside of free will is that others are entitled to it just as much as we are," the sandy-haired teen remarked softly, "And if a person chooses, against all sane reasoning, to hate those who don't deserve such abuse, then no real recourse exists. You either love blindly back, at the expense of your own wellbeing, or you wash your hands and find happiness elsewhere."

Evans was quiet for a long time. Then, she murmured, "I suppose I've been figuring that out for myself recently. Between my sister and... and _Snape_..." She spat the name with the contempt of a true Marauder. "I'm not obligated to sacrifice for peole who are just going to keep hurting me, regardless of how much I loved them once or love them still."

Mina flicked the remanants of her joint into the snow, enjoying the wet hiss while she lit another. Feeling rather generous, she offered to share with Evans, who, quite surprisingly, indulged in a few puffs.

"Mina?"

She whirled around, shocked that the owner of the small, inquisitive voice had managed to approach undetected. But it was only Tia, frowning worriedly and bundled up in a hand-me-down dressing gown, slippers, and parka. The boys were not far behind her, but, before they arrived, the girl babbled, "I woke up, and you and Lily were gone, and I couldn't find you, so I got James and Remus, and they said you were out here. Are you ok?"

Nodding, Mina put out her joint and stowed it back in the hidden pocket. "I'm fine," she answered, barely flinching when Tia plopped into her lap, "How about you?"

"I'm good," the tiny black-haired sprite said, yawning and snugging into the embrace, "I really do like having my own room. It's the first time I ever have. That's why I didn't want to come up and share with you. But it's weird waking up with no one around."

Mina chuckled, "I'll bet."

"Sunny," Remus murmured, sitting on her free side and running his blunt fingers through her hair, "Merlin! You're ice cold!" He stripped off his knit cap, coat, and boots and jammed each article onto his sister.

"Ugh," she complained, still feeling too weak to put up much more of a fight, "Get off, Moony. I'm _fine_."

James layered yet another cloak onto the pile. He yawned, "It is three bloody AM. _Fine_ is not a possibility."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, feeling far more human than she had when she first woke, Mina groused, "Three bloody AM and I are well acquainted. And this is precisely why we never invite you."

Tia cuddled insistedly. "Mina," she said, "I like my own room, but I can I sleep with you for tonight? I woke up scared, and I think that'll help."

Fuck's sake... manipulation at its finest. But, apparently, no one was immune to the machinations of the most adorable first-year ever. "Of course, Tia," she sighed, "Let's go then. Little sprogs like you need their rest."

xxXxx

About a dozen students stayed in the castle for Christmas that year, and, unfortunately, one such student was Alcina Zuniga.

Though she had never actually spoken one word to James, the olive-skinned Ravenclaw was reportedly obsessed with him. Information from the Kemps even suggested that the Amortentia she stole back in September had been intended for the then clueless chaser; only her own clumsiness prevented the attempt.

Ever since becoming aware of Zuniga's interest—not to mention the unethical and illegal means she was willing to go to in order to have said interest returned—James tried his best to avoid her.

However, with so few bodies in the Hall during meals, the remaining staff consolidated their charges to one large table.

"She's doing it again," James complained, shivering as he felt the dark lustful eyes on him. _It_ of course referred to Zuniga's creepy and annoying habit of sitting as close as possible to James, staring openly and sometimes (according to Mina) drooling like the shameless slag she was.

Snorting, Mina glared right at the stalker and, with just a menacing gesture, frightened the sixth-year into choosing a new, much farther away seat. "Still don't know why you won't let me kick her arse," grumbled the sandy-haired Animagus, "She's practically a rapist. But because she's a girl, everybody seems to think her disgusting behavior is _no big deal_."

"Zuniga is a silly teenager with a crush," Lily scolded as she sat primly across from them, "The best thing to do is ignore her until she comes to her senses."

"She's desperate," Mina insisted, "And delusional. And bad things happen when desperate, delusional people start playing around with love potions. Or, hell, let's call them what they are: roofies." Smirking as her point hit home on the distressed faces of her companions, she added, "Same idea, different name. Now, tell me again how I should just ignore the desperate, delusional little weirdo who planned to roofie my friend?"

Pale and quite stricken, Lily shot a particularly nasty look at Zuniga. "I didn't think of it like that," the redhead murmured.

James felt... oddly flattered.

He did his best to forget about his stalker, listening attentively to Tia as the pink-cheeked cherub recounted her afternoon spent building snow forts and playing with Hagrid's puppy, Tiger. The fact that James, Remus, Mina, and Lily had taken part in the adventure itself didn't seem to deter little Miss Jones in the least.

(Upon learning that the orphan would be not only the sole first-year to stay for the holiday, but also the sole student younger than fourth, James had been worried that Tia might feel lonely or left out. However, she mentioned twenty or more times a day that she was having the best Christmas ever. Every time she said so, James's heart just about broke.)

_TinkTinkTink_. "May I have your attention, please?" Slughorn hauled his corpulent carcass to a more or less standing position, swaying drunkenly and raising his glass. "I'd like to propose a toast," he declared. His plump face displayed a jovial smile, a ruddy glow, and of course the ever-present walrus-like moustache. "On this lovely Christmas Eve, I feel quite lucky to find myself surrounded with so many bright young minds! I do hope you're all enjoying your holiday as much as I am enjoying mine, and, in the spirit of the season, please consider yourselves invited to a small New Year's soiree I'll be holding next week in my chambers. Nothing too fancy, but I'd so love to see my students show up looking their best. And until then, cheers!" His chair groaned in protest as it once more accepted the burden of his generous backside.

"Fat fuck," Mina whispered, just barely quiet enough to avoid detection. She turned to Remus and murmured, "You're not going to make us go, are you? Padfoot and Mac want to meet us at the Three Broomsticks."

Rolling his eyes, Remus replied, "First of all, I'm fairly sure Professor Slughorn didn't mean to invite you. He's just too drunk at the moment to remember you're in the room. Second, you can barely sit through a single Potions class without hexing the man. Why would I make you attend a party with him?"

Mina beamed. "I love you, too, Moony," she cooed, dropping her head onto his shoulder and batting her eyelashes.

After dinner, the five Gryffindors retreated to their Tower for hot chocolate and carols around the fire. At Lily and Remus's invitation, two Ravenclaws joined them, siblings named Ceridwen and Colwyn Cadwallader, their House's sixth-year keeper and fifth-year beater, respectively. Colwyn brought along his friend, Anton Pherick, who was the only Hufflepuff left in the castle and had been bunking in Ravenclaw Tower.

The trio spent most of the evening complaining about Zuniga.

"You have no idea how disturbing it is to share a dorm with that girl," said Ceridwen, the pretty blonde roasting three skewered marshmallows in the hearth. "There's always been something _off_ about her, but it's just gotten worse over the years. And it's nearly unbearable sleeping all alone in a room with her. She hardly talks, but it's not shyness. It's like she's... I don't know how to describe it... Like we're all flies and she's trying to figure out which wing to pull off first."

Mina nodded appreciatively. She liked when people agreed with her, and that more than anything else had seen the girl minding her barely adequate manners. "Nothing a good arse-kicking wouldn't fix," she remarked, glancing pointedly at her brother.

But Colwyn shook his head, explaining, "I don't think so. Ceri, who was it who complained about her a few years ago?"

"Verena Ingram," Ceridwen replied. She smirked a bit at James before continuing, "Verena had a little crush on you, Potter. Nothing too serious. She had a different crush nearly every month our third year. But Zuniga found out about it. Verena's clothes and belongings started disappearing and reappearing ripped to shreds. She got violently ill after nearly every meal, and someone started a rumor that she was pregnant. Then her kitten died. We found it under her bed, looking like it had strangled itself on accident with a bit of yarn. But its neck was broken."

Tia gasped aloud, expression devastated. "She hurt the kitty?! Why?! _Who would do that?!_"

"A future serial killer, that's who," Mina answered, her voice a low, menacing growl.

Ceridwen shrugged. "We couldn't prove it was Zuniga," she continued, "Or that the little psycho even had anything to do with the cat, but Verena was so upset that she spent the better part of an evening screaming at her. Zuniga never said a word, but later she went and cried to Flitwick about how we were bullying her. The rest of us, of course, told a different story, so all four of the girls in our dorm ended up in and out of mediation meetings for nearly two weeks trying to sort the problem. Zuniga obviously lied through her teeth, but she can cry on cue. It was a most convincing performance. In the end, Flitwick just gave up. He told us that we'd either get along or every one of us would be in detentions with suspended privileges until we could learn."

"I think I just lost all respect for that man," said Mina.

"Don't be silly," Lily scolded, "I'm sure it was difficult for him to deal with such a mess. There's not much a professor can do when everyone is giving a different account of an incident. Prefects sometimes have the same problems."

Mina's lip curled in a disgusted sneer. "That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," the teen snapped, "There's been a budding serial killer and rapist running around the school for Merlin knows how long, and Flitwick thinks the solution to the problem is to ignore it? At the very least, an allegation of a student _mutilating pets_ should've been kicked a bit higher up the chain of command. I'm fairly certain that Dumbledore is a Legilimencer-"

Remus choked on his drink, spluttering, "He's _what_?!"

Fondly pounding on her coughing brother's back, Mina explained, "He's a bloody mind-reader. Ever since I started Occlumency training, talking to him gives me a headache. I didn't think much of it at first. He _is_ rather annoying. But recently Lazarov mentioned that, because I've been working to clear my mind to ready it to build defenses, any attempts a person makes at a surface reading will penetrate farther than normal and therefore be felt. Surface reading usually isn't noticeable. It only takes a second of eye contact and doesn't pick up much more than whatever thoughts, emotions, or images a person is currently experiencing. However, a trained Occlumencer, or even a partially trained one like me, can pick up on the attempt."

"And that's _legal_?" Anton Pherick, the lone Hufflepuff gaped, blushing when he realized he'd brought attention to himself.

"Not really," Mina explained, "Just nearly undetectable and entirely impossible to prove in court. But despite the questionable legality, I'd rather like to think that exceptions could be made in a case like Zuniga's. Bloody hell. It's too bad Lazarov refuses to teach us any Legilimency until we've completely mastered Occlumency, or else I'd just read the bitch's mind myself. At least then I'd know for certain that she's off her bloody rocker and out to rape poor Jamie."

Unsurprisingly, their guests seemed rather uncomfortable with Mina's hostility, even if the hostility wasn't directed toward them.

"Can we not talk about how I might get raped?" James suggested, "You're not exactly putting anyone in the Christmas spirit, Sunny."

The girl shrugged.

And then there was a knock at the portrait door.

"That had better _not_ be Zuniga," Mina threatened, glowering.

Fortunately, as James discovered when he investigated, it was not.

Two slender blonde, impeccably dressed Slytherin girls, sixth-year Heloise and third-year Hecuba Sinclair greeted the lad with tentative, only slightly arrogant smiles.

"Hello," said Heloise, offering a bottle of very old, very good firewhiskey with one hand and a bottle of equally expensive-looking Russian vodka with the other, "We heard everyone was up here and wondered if you wouldn't mind a few more." She nudged her little sister who, with downcast blue eyes, held out a large tray of elaborately decorated gingerbread men. "It's just the two of us down in the dungeons," Heloise continued, "And we didn't fancy spending Christmas Eve all alone with Slughorn passed out and snoring by the fire."

James smiled. Slytherins in the Tower. Mina would hate it. "Of course," he replied, stepping aside to usher the girls through the entrance, "Welcome, ladies. And Merry Christmas."

Looking forward to a fun-filled night of taunting his almost sister, James was about to head back into the common room but thought he saw a flicker of movement at the other end of the long hallway. He stepped outside the portrait to investigate, looking around, finding nothing but shivering uncomfortably all the same...

"James?" Some minutes later, Lily appeared at his side. She flipped her sleek crimson hair off an elegant shoulder, smirking and snuggling into her thick green sweater. "What're you doing out here?" she teased, "You can't just wind Mina up like that and leave her with the rest of us!"

James chuckled, doing his best not to stare. As much as he'd enjoyed the holiday and the extra time it allowed him to spend with Lily, he had remained commited to being on his best behavior, to being a good friend to this lovely girl until such a time as she might view him as more. "Sorry," the teen remarked, "Thought I saw something..."

"Probably just someone's cat," Lily insisted, nodding back toward the now closed portrait of the extremely _jolly_ Fat Lady. "C'mon."

Abandoning his investigation (it really was foolish, but he couldn't the feeling of unease), James turned back around and offered the password: "Pfeffernüsse."

The Fat Lady let loose a high, sloppy giggle. "Sorry, dears," she hiccupped, poking a plump finger toward the ceiling, "Tradition, you see. Can't let you in otherwise."

James and Lily both looked up. Both saw the mistletoe that had migrated (as the blasted vermin tended to) in the direction of the most populated area of the castle. A sprig hung directly over their heads.

"Sorry," James blurted, halfway to panicked that this would destroy the friendship he'd been trying to establish, "I swear, Lily, I didn't-"

"I know," she sighed. The girl blushed, gazing at her feet. "James," Lily murmured, "Just... we're stuck unless someone knows the spell to release us, and I don' think anyone other than Flitwick does so..."

Lily placed a slim hand on each of his shoulders, rose on her tiptoes, and pressed her pretty lips to his.

_There was a brief snapping sensation James recognized as the charm being released. That didn't matter nearly as much as the feel of Lily's mouth against his own, soft supple flesh that tasted of chilled chocolate with a bite of firewhiskey._

James swayed as the girl pulled away (probably seconds but really lifetimes later), and his most coherent thought within the next several minutes was one of longing as he realized that his love had already fled.

xxxxxxxxxx

TA DA! Hope ya'll enjoyed. The next chapter is finished and also Christmas themed, so if I get 15 or more reviews before Dec. 25, I will post it. I'm even going to count people who are just pointing out any typos/error I may have missed, so if you spot one, feel free to let me know ;)


	39. Auld Lang Syne

Part 39 – Auld Lang Syne

"SUNSHINE!"

The girl leaped into his arms, and only his admirable physical fitness kept Sirius from collapsing under the onslaught.

"Oh, Paddy," Mina gushed, repeatedly slamming her hips and lips against his in a most indecent fashion, "I missed you so much! I love your present!"

Sirius beamed as he recalled his choice of gifts: a small music box that played "Here Comes the Sun." The card, which he agonized over for days, read: _Something in which to keep the copious jewelry I plan to buy my only love. (Hopefully this eases Moony into the idea so he doesn't kill me later.) Merry Christmas._

"Sirius," Andromeda drawled, with an almighty smirk, "Introduce us."

Reluctantly detaching from his lovely girlfriend, Sirius kept a steady arm around her shoulders as he declared, "This is my cousin Andromeda, her husband Ted Tonks, and their daughter Nymphadora. Guys, this is Mina Lupin."

"Great to finally meet you," said Mina, shaking hands down the line, praising Dora's shockingly blue locks until they actually blushed to a light shade of pink. Of course, Mina thought that was brilliant as well, and Dora was well on her way to developing her first case of hero worship.

"Hmm," Andy commented, watching as her daughter chattered excitedly and Mina patiently listened, "She seems sweet, Siri. And definitely far too pretty for a sorry sod like you."

Beaming, Sirius agreed, "I believe that makes me a _lucky_ sod."

Their small group slowly migrated into the Great Hall, where they sat and joined the Christmas lunch already in progress. The Tonks family wasn't the only guests invited to the event. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had managed to tear themselves away from the office for a few hours, and they'd even dragged along Alastor Moody. Though the grumbling old auror didn't seem to appreciate being immersed in so much holiday cheer.

"So, Mina," said Andromeda, blatantly fishing as she served herself from the overflowing platters of food, "Tell us about yourself. Have to be sure my favorite cousin has made the right choice, after all."

Shrugging as she instructed Tia and Dora (seated on her either side) in the proper method of peeling roasted chestnuts, cracking Christmas crackers, and being generally merry, Mina replied, "Anything you'd specifically like to know? I am a complex individual and cannot be summed up so easily."

Ted chuckled, the fair-haired muggle-born remarking, "Good answer."

"What's your favorite class?" Andromeda persisted. She really was intent on interrogating Sirius's love interest.

(He wasn't sure whether to be worried, embarrassed, or rather pleased.)

With a grin, Mina declared, "Although I do enjoy most of the subjects and all but a few of the professors, I'd probably have to go with Transfiguration."

A little ways down the long table, McGonagall huffed in annoyance and continued pretending not to listen to the conversation.

"She thinks I'm not applying myself," Mina whispered loudly, "Never mind that I barely manage the half dozen extra credit projects I'm already doing, the professor wants me to start Animagus training."

(The Marauders still found that, as well as Mina's means of deflection, endlessly amusing.)

"What kind of projects?" asked Andy.

Grinning, Mina listed, "Well, I just earned my class-3 creature-handling license. Hopefully I can test for the class-4 near the end of summer and the class-5 by the end of seventh year. I'm learning Occlumency and a bit of curse-breaking. I've got several ongoing Herbology experiments, and I'm also building telescopes. The lenses are the tricky bit. A lot more Arithmancy involved than I originally thought. Oh, and of course, there's always quidditch and pranks. Can't neglect the classics."

The two elder Tonkses did a rather poor job controlling their urge to gape. "Wow," Andromeda murmured, "That's... quite an impressive skill set. Where do you find the time?"

Again, Mina shrugged. "Not sleeping helps."

"You don't have a bedtime?" Dora asked in awe.

Laughing, Mina teased, "Wouldn't do me any good if I did."

"So," Sirius declared, hoping for a quick subject change, "How was everyone's Christmas Eve?"

"Enjoyable," Mina said with a shrug, "Except for Prongs. He's been acting weird. And he let Slytherins into the Tower. Heloise and her sister turned out to be alright, but he couldn't have known that ahead of time."

James's strange behavior was quite difficult to ignore; the lad had barely uttered two words to anyone and kept staring off into space with a dreamy, girly expression on his face. Resolving to speak with his best friend later, the tall teen replied, "Dora and I stayed up waiting for Santa, but the slippery old man evaded us yet again."

Mina chuckled but rolled her eyes. "I keep telling you," she said, "He's not like a leprechaun. You don't get anything for catching him. Except maybe a spot on the naughty list."

From Dora, Sirius received a look of absolute betrayal. He was fairly certain that, had her parents not been within scolding distance, the little metamorph would've slapped him across the face with a slice of ham.

xxXxx

Lily's original assessment of Mrs. Potter (that she was a kind, delightful lady who was slightly delusional about just how troublesome her son and his friends could be) proved correct. Though they had met and conversed before, that Christmas lunch was their first proper introduction.

Mrs. Potter was much shorter than her son, though the square glasses and black hair (gone white at the temples, in her case) produced a strong resemblance, even past her wrinkles. In terms of looks and build, James did seem to take after his gangly, white-haired father a bit more, but he had his mother's warm, laughing hazel eyes.

"Tell us, Lily," she said with a smile, "How are you enjoying your holiday?"

Returning the infectious, affectionate smile, the redhead replied, "Oh, it's been quite fun. Lots of snowballs fights, snowforts, and snowmen, some ice skating, all followed with liberal applications of hot chocolate." She, of course, left out _at least one instance of eagerly kissing your only son under the mistletoe for some reason I still can't entirely comprehend._

"Sounds splendid," Mr. Potter remarked. His lanky limbs and loud tie explained a lot about his offspring. "Much better than our Christmas, that's for sure," the elderly gentleman continued. He ran his blunt fingers through his hair, causing the mess to stick up at even more gravity-defying angles. "Figures the bloody death-eating scum would choose this season to start wiping out muggle-born families."

"The reports in the papers have been appalling," Lily commented. Nearly thirty dead since the beginning of December, men, women, and children tortured and murdered in their homes. If she lived to be a thousand, the redhead would never understand what inspired individuals to commit such depraved, senseless cruelty.

Nodding, Mr. Potter agreed, "Keeps us playing catch-up. Although we're hoping to change that soon. Just got some promising intel about a big raid. We've been keeping three dozen wands standing by and ready to go at a moment's notice, another two dozen on-call and only three minutes behind if they receive notification. Should put those murdering bastards in their place-"

"Language, love," scolded Mrs. Potter, "Set a better example for your son."

Mr. Potter waved his hand back and forth before James's distant eyes. "No worries, darling," the white-haired gentleman chuckled, "Our little Jamie is off in his happy place. Merlin, I haven't seen him this out of it since we bought him his first broom."

Lily tried and failed not to blush spectacularly, once again obsessing over her uncharacteristically spontaneous actions the night before. If someone had told her a year ago that she would voluntarily kiss James Potter beneath the mistletoe (or _anywhere_, really), the redhead would've promptly helped that person off the edge of the nearest cliff.

But James was different. Hell, so was Lily. Snape's betrayal and their subsequent falling out had hit her hard. Unfortunately, it had also highlighted her distinct dearth of friends. Sure, Lily was friendly with a lot of people. She was well-liked. She had study partners and affable roommates, and of course Remus was a dear soul (though he tended to hold most people at a distance). Very best friends who she couldn't live without, however... well, there had been but one name on the list. And now there was none.

Of course, James always proved eager for her company. He made her laugh, especially when she was sad; he comforted her when she was upset; he even bullied and/or bribed his own idiot friends into being somewhat civil to her. He was very sweet, and very attractive, and the more time Lily spent with him, the more she liked him.

If he could continue to not act like too much of an immature git, then maybe the young man had potential-

"Are you feeling alright, dear?" asked Mrs. Potter, pressing a cool, slim hand against the girl's forehead, "You're looking a bit flushed. I know the children tend to overdo it a bit out in the snow."

Lily squirmed. "I'm fine, ma'am," she replied, "Mr. Filch just keeps the castle a bit warm for my liking this time of year."

Clearly, the response did not appease Mrs. Potter. "Hmm," she hummed quietly, "Well, be that as it may, you certainly don't want to catch a chill. Be sure to bundle up. In fact, I hope you brought a heavy coat or robe. Potter tradition, you see. James and his father like to spend a good chunk of Christmas day on their brooms, and we'd be elated to have you with us. Do you fly, dear?"

"Oh, sometimes," Lily said with a smile, "I don't have too much free time to devote to it, but I do enjoy a good broom ride. I'll just pop back up to the Tower quickly after the meal."

"Marvelous." Leaning in close so that her husband and son couldn't hear from the other side of the table, Mrs. Potter mischievously whispered, "Despite what my husband likes to tell people, James got all his quidditch talent from me. I was a seeker, you know. Henry only ever made the reserve."

The force of an unexpected laugh nearly caused Lily to snort food out her nose.

xxXxx

The Potter family tradition was quidditch on Christmas, even if that just meant James and his dad rolling a quaffle back and forth across their living room floor because the boy had not yet learned to walk. As the years progressed and James made friends and his friends were welcomed into the Potter home, the tradition branched out to include everyone who was willing.

As much as he looked forward to the annual tradition, James couldn't summon the proper focus for the impending scrimmage. James was already in the clouds, and despite the fact that he'd been up there for hours, he doubted he'd be coming down any time soon.

Lily kissed him. _Lily Evans_.

Giving a damn about anything else was exceedingly difficult.

"JAMES REGINALD POTTER!"

Unless, of course, Mina chose to shriek directly into his ear.

"Bloody _hell_, woman," he grumbled, very concerned about permanent hearing damage, "What do you want?"

Mina grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

(James suddenly realized that they were standing in the Entrance Hall; he couldn't help wondering how he'd gotten there, as his recollection of everything past the feel of Lily's luscious lips against his own was rather hazy.)

"I want you to quit walking around like an inferius with a hard-on-"

"MINA!"

"Unwad your knickers," the girl taunted her twin, "How else would you describe it?"

Glaring, Remus responded, "In one of a hundred less vulgar ways, surely."

She shrugged. "Whatever. Gets my point across. So, Prongs, what has caused this giddy catatonia of yours?"

James blushed a bit, looking around and noticing that the four Marauders were alone.

Before the young chaser could even think to ask the obvious question, Sirius explained, "The adults walked ahead to the pitch to make sure there were enough brooms. Tia and Evans went back to the Tower to get better coats, and Dora tagged along. I was vehemently informed that _she is not a baby and could go by herself_ when I tried to supervise my darling little cousin. We stayed behind to figure out what you're on."

"Dora's here?" James wondered aloud.

His friends all gave him mingled looks of concern and confusion. "Yes," Mina drawled, "She introduced herself before we ate. Even turned her hair to match yours... wow. Why are you so out of it?"

"Lily kissed me." James had not made any conscious decision to blurt the fact aloud, but that didn't seem to stop his mouth from forming the words, nor from stretching into an absolutely blissful smile.

Again, his friends stared at him with bemused worry. Finally, Mina replied, "Ok. You kissed Evans. Then what happened?"

"Huh?"

"Well," the sandy-haired witch continued, "If you did in fact kiss Evans, then I assume she must've immediately castrated you." Mina put a comforting hand on his shoulder and, completely straight-faced, soothed, "It's ok, Prongs. We still love you no matter what fraction of a man you might be."

James batted away the patronizing touch, huffing, "I'm no _fraction_ of anything. And I said _Lily_ kissed _me_, not the other way around, so she could hardly be mad about it, much less mad enough to do... _that_."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius muttered, "Poor bastard is delusional. Must be the blood loss. Didn't Evans at least do you the courtesy of cauterizing your little stump?"

"Shut up!" James hollered. He had the _worst_ friends. "I was not castrated! And no, Sunny, I will not _prove it_!"

Mina snickered. "Tempting as that sounds," she stated, "I have no interest in what's left of your boy bits... Unless it's really gruesome down there. And then I want photos."

Sirius pouted.

Unabashed and unapologetic, her eyes raking down the length of her boyfriend's body, the girl chirped, "Morbid curiosity, Paddy. My interest in your bits is definitely not morbid by any stretch of imagination."

"ROMINA JOY LUPIN!"

She huffed at her brother and chose to ignore his indignation. "Ok," she declared, "So you think Evans kissed you, and that's why you're acting all loopy. Isn't it more likely that you just had a very nice dream? What did Grandmother used to call them when you had them, Moony? Big-boy dreams?"

Remus's face flamed, his numerous scars a crosshatch of white standing out sharply against the field of red.

James felt certain that his own blush had to be on par. "Sunny," he grumbled, "I will _pay you_ to stop talking."

With an impish, inquisitive head tilt, she answered, "How much and for how long?"

"Don't do it, Sunshine!" Sirius insisted. He wrapped his arms around the girl, lifting her off her feet and swinging her in circles. "I could never survive without your lovely voice to brighten my days!"

"Put me down, you mutt!" she laughed, kicking at the air.

James let himself enjoy her predicament.

Until the girl's giggles sudden cut off with a loud, pained gasp. "Padfoot, stop!" she wailed, struggling harder, "Really! I'm not playing! Let me go!"

Sirius instantly complied but didn't allow Mina to move away. "What is it?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

The girl collapsed to her hands and knees. "I-I-" she stammered, wide-eyed, panting and clutching at her chest. "I don't know... I..." A look of understanding came across her face. "The window!" she screeched.

The next second, Mina took off running up the stairs, and her friends did not hesitate to follow.

xxXxx

"I'm sure Santa isn't upset with you, Dora," Lily patiently explained, again, mentally cursing Mina bloody Lupin's big fat mouth, "Lots of children stay up and try to see him. He wouldn't put you on the naughty list just for that."

The three-year-old metamorph clutched tighter to Lily's hand. "Are you sure?" she demanded, "Siri has really good stories, but a lot of them are about him breaking rules. He might be on the naughty list already, and it was his idea to try 'n catch Santa! I should'a knowed not to listen!"

If such a thing as the naughty list did exist, Lily would be entirely shocked _not_ to find the names of all the Marauders upon it. Nevertheless, the redhead argued, "Well, if it was his idea, then I'm sure Santa knows and doesn't blame you. Did he leave you presents last night?"

The child nodded, her crop of unruly neon green ringlets flopping with the motion. "I got a dolly," Dora announced, "And a tricycle, and candy."

"Well, there you have it," laughed Lily, "He wouldn't have left you all those nice things if you had earned a place on the naughty list."

"Ms. Siskin always said Santa doesn't like orphans," Tia piped up. The girl looked sad but resigned, trudging toward the portrait hole. "We never got anything from him. We only got presents from each other and sometimes from charities. But I think Ms. Siskin lied cuz I got a chess set, and books, and sweets, and even new clothes from him this year. Ms. Siskin isn't very nice. I think she did magic so that Santa couldn't find us at the orphanage."

Dora's mouth dropped open in undisguised horror, her hair shifting toward an unremarkable, rather drab brown that Lily suspected was the girl's natural color. "Magic can't keep Santa away!" Dora cried. She turned to peer tearfully up at Lily again, clutching the teen's hand. "Can it?"

Given the choice between revealing to Tia that Santa didn't exist and letting Dora believe that Santa might be waylaid by any competent witch or wizard (or in Tia's specific case, a vindictive muggle caretaker), Lily decided to attempt to steer the conversation toward more neutral matters. "Here we are," she announced, "This is the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. Dora, would you like to give the password?"

The kaleidoscope hair returned in full force, and Tia delightedly whispered the holiday password (pfeffernüsse) into Dora's ear. Soon, the trio of witches arrived in the common room. They continued up the girls' staircase, first stopping in Tia's dorm and then continuing on to Lily's.

Later, when she reflected back upon the incident, Lily couldn't help kicking herself for not noticing that something was amiss. True, nothing in the room seemed out of place on first glance, nor did any obvious signs indicate that someone who didn't belong was lurking just out of sight.

In fact, Lily didn't realize the danger until Dora shrieked, "HEY!"

Alcina Zuniga, whose claim to fame at Hogwarts was an unsuccessful attempt at dosing James with Amortentia, had emerged from her hiding place behind the door; she had grabbed Dora, restraining the little girl against her chest and pointing a wand at the metamorph's brightly colored head.

"Zuniga," Lily greeted tentatively, "What are you-"

"You can't have him!" the olive-skinned Ravenclaw snarled. She tightened her grip until Dora whimpered. "You think I'd just let you steal him away from me?!" Zuniga bellowed, "After all the years we've been together?! We're soul mates! Nothing will ever come between us!"

For the life of her, Lily could not make sense of the rant. Cautiously, she replied, "Zuniga, I have no idea what you're talking about. Please put Dora down. You're hurting her."

Tia, who had apparently been too startled to initially react, chose that moment to grab Mina's beater bat and swing it as hard as she could against the back of Zuniga's knee.

But, unfortunately, Tia was only eleven, and a petite, undernourished eleven at that. Her attack didn't do anything but piss Zuniga off and encourage the older girl to fire a wordless stunner, which dropped Tia in an instant.

Dora began to cry. At least until Zuniga's wand dug into her throat and put an end to such protests.

"Stop it!" Lily begged, "Please! They're just children!"

"I saw you!" shrieked Zuniga, dark eyes looking particularly deranged as they locked menacingly with Lily's. "You kissed my James!"

The one time such an incident occurred was the night before, Christmas Eve, under the mistletoe outside Gryffindor Tower. Lily remembered how she had gone out into the hallway in search of James, how he'd claimed that he saw something and she'd convinced him it was probably just a wandering cat. Well, regrettably, that wandering cat had turned out to be a stalker spying on them from the shadows and overhearing the password.

Zuniga grew more unhinged by the moment, shouting, "My James is a good boyfriend! He never lets himself be distracted by any of the sluts that come on to him! He's always been faithful, and only Lupin being a bitch keeps us from spending more time together! But now you think you can interfere?! Over my dead body! Lupin will be out of the picture soon, and you can bloody well join her!"

Careful not to make any sudden moves, Lily tried to inch toward Tia. But beyond that, she had no real plan. Going for her wand would probably mean being stunned and helpless at the hands of this madwoman. Escape would, at best, leave Dora behind. "Zuniga," the redhead drawled, "Alcina. Listen to me. I'm... I'm sorry, ok? I didn't know. Just... please. The children have nothing to do with this. Just let them leave, and you and I will stay here and talk."

She squeezed Dora so hard that the small girl struggled to breathe. "You think I'm stupid?!" shouted Zuniga, firing a knock-back hex.

The shot hit Lily directly in the sternum, stealing the air from her lungs and causing the redhead to stumble backwards.

Casting more of the same hex in quick succession, Zuniga continued to scream, "You're nothing! You're just a mudblood whore! Just because you threw yourself at my James doesn't mean you can steal him!"

It wasn't until she backed up as far as she could go that Lily understood what Zuniga was doing: in the chaos she had encountered upon entering her room, Lily had failed to notice that the windows were all standing wide open.

(Lily remembered Mina's last nightmare, how the girl had woke in a terror, how the only word she managed to speak for quite some minutes was _window_.)

Lily didn't have the breath left to scream as one more hex hit her, as she slammed through the opening and plummeted toward the earth.

xxXxx

Though she never told a soul about the afternoon she'd found Mary MacDonald standing in the Tower window looking ready to jump, Mina hadn't entirely ignored the incident either. Sure, Mary still insisted that she hadn't been suicidal, but, taking the line of _better safe than sorry_, Mina kept a close eye on her roommate from that day forward, which included warding all the bloody windows in their room.

The charms were complex (if she did say so herself), and one particularly useful feature was an alarm of sorts: if a human went through without first tracing the correct series of runes on the glass, then Mina, no matter where she was, would be notified in an instant.

Of course, she hadn't expected the notification to hurt so damn much; felt like a mule had kicked her in the chest. The pain made the girl run faster.

She shouted the password from half a hallway away and barely paused before throwing herself through the portrait hole. She heard the terrified crying, the irate threats that the half-blood freak of nature better shut the bloody hell up if she knew what was good for her.

That erased any doubt in Mina's mind that the alarm might be a false one. She trusted that the boys were behind her, but only Sirius might be able to follow up the staircase; Mina decided the situation warranted a smidgeon of caution.

Of course, such perfectly reasonable thoughts evaporated from Mina's mind the second she saw Alcina Zuniga shaking Dora like a rag doll.

"GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER, YOU FUCKING CUNT!"

Zuniga whirled toward the noise, startled but instinctively firing off a stunner.

It missed. And by that moment, Mina had already closed the distance between them and roughly tackled the Ravenclaw to the ground.

Like most unimaginative, lazy magicals, Zuniga was useless in a fistfight; Mina had no trouble pinning her to the stones and beating her unconscious. In all honesty, Mina probably would've killed the bitch had it not been for Dora's pained whimpers invading the rage-filled haze.

"Let me see, love," Mina ordered, cleaning her gore-coated knuckles on Zuniga's cashmere jumper before gathering the wailing little girl into a hug. Deciphering words intermingled with the hysterical tears was a bit of a challenge, even more so when Mina saw the handprint bruises all over Dora's small arms and wanted nothing more than to return to bludgeoning the person responsible.

"What the hell?" Sirius murmured as he arrived and looked around the room. He revived Tia and was able to check on her general condition before she, too, began crying and babbling incomprehensibly.

Mina exchanged a glance with her boyfriend and shrugged; she didn't know much more than he did... although Evans's absence felt ominous...

And that was when Mina noticed that Dora kept pointing at one of the open windows. Remembering the alarm, Mina handed off Sirius's cousin and hurried over to investigate.

Although clearly still alive, Evans did not look happy. Which was understandable. She'd just been thrown out of a window, after all, and despite being saved from gravity by a handy magic net, the redhead was not capable of freeing herself, or of untangling herself, or of restoring herself to an upright position. That was, of course, part of the charm; had Mary actually gone through with an ill-advised swan dive, Mina wanted her kept properly restrained until mental health professionals could be summoned to the scene.

"Evans?" Mina called, hopefully loud enough to be heard over the frigid wind, "You ok?"

"Pull me up," was the shaky response, denim-covered legs twitching uselessly, "Pull me up _now_. Please. I... Mina. Please."

Nodding, the sandy-haired Animagus began to perform the spells that would reel in the dangling net. "Relax," Mina commanded, "You're going to be fine. The charm can hold at least four times your weight, and I'll have you inside in just a second."

And she did, hauling the slender body through by the ankles and helping it stand.

Evans latched onto Mina, trembling, all but collapsing against the young beater as her knees buckled. "You knew," whimpered Evans, "You knew. You dreamed it, didn't you?"

"What?" Sirius demanded. He gave both girls an accusing look.

"A few nights ago," the redhead softly murmured, still clearly in shock and only moments from a complete emotional breakdown, "Mina had a nightmare. When she woke up, she just said _window_. She didn't remember after. B-But you charmed the window anyway, so you had to have known-"

"I didn't!" Mina insisted. And this time, she could say for certain that her muddled dreams had _nothing_ to do with the situation. Unfortunately, she couldn't think of a way to explain that the charm predated that particular nightmare by over a year without revealing the original reason for the charm...

It was part of the deal they made, after Mina stopped Mary from doing something stupid that day: Mina would never tell anyone as long as Mary never did anything like that ever again.

Unless she wanted to break the deal, Mina was stuck. Her idiot friends were going to start accusing her of being psychic again. She just _knew it_.

"Fuck's sake," the girl sighed, glaring daggers at Zuniga's inert, bloody form.

How many damn times was Mina's life going to be disrupted by delusional psychopaths?

xxXxx

The last time a student had been removed from Hogwarts in chains, Sirius had not been awake to appreciate the spectacle. In his defense, Ari Mulciber was removed specifically for casting the Cruciatus Curse at Sirius, so the fact that Sirius was unconscious in the Hospital Wing when the aurors led Mulciber away was understandable.

This time, however, Sirius had not been involved in the incident beyond comforting the victims, and he did not have to miss seeing Zuniga clapped in irons and dragged kicking and screaming toward the gates. James opted not to attend, which turned out to be a wise move since most of Zuniga's insane rants were about him, about how much he loved her and how they'd be together again soon.

"That girl is fucking _whacko_," Mina commented quietly, hip cocked roguishly and smoldering cigarette dangling between her elegant fingers, "I still can't believe her _master plan_ was to throw Evans out a window. It doesn't even make sense."

Sirius snorted, gesturing toward the flailing witch being hauled down the lane. "I wouldn't look for much sense from _that_," he commented, "She was quite calculating about the whole thing until she saw James and Evans under the mistletoe. That must've ruined her odd little fantasy, and I guess the crazy bint just snapped."

Nodding, Mina agreed, "In a way, it's kind of lucky. Apparently, she said something about getting me out of the picture as well. An overt act of insanity is much easier to defend against than a sneak attack. She probably would've poisoned me." After a brief beat, the girl thoughtfully remarked, "Although now that I think about it, she might've been behind that thing with Merrigan and Sloan last month. Certainly seems like her style to convince a couple of idiots to do her dirty work."

"Then it's also lucky that she seems to be so inept at villainy," Sirius chuckled. He slipped an arm around his girl's slender hips and pressed a tender kiss into her wild hair.

As the aurors and their prisoner passed through the gates, a squat older gentleman approached from the road to Hogsmeade. The aurors and the gentleman stopped and talked a moment before each continuing on their way. The gentleman ambled slowly across the grounds until he was close enough for Sirius to sort of recognize.

"Uncle Alphard?" the teen hesitantly questioned. He'd only ever seen this particular relation a handful of times throughout his entire childhood, not at all within the last five years. Alphard Black was a recluse and (depending on who was asked) either a nutter or a casanova; when he wrote the man looking for information about Joy Lupin, Sirius hadn't expected more than a polite letter in return, certainly not a prompt personal visit.

Blinking owlishly, Alphard paused just a few steps away. "My word," he drawled, "That _can't _be little Siri."

Sirius smirked and strode over to shake his uncle's hand. "Hasn't been anything _little_ about me in quite some time," the teen declared.

Snorting, Mina bopped him on the rump and scolded, "Only I get to brag about that, mutt."

"Yes, dear," Sirius beamed.

Alphard, though he'd gone gray and a bit podgy with age, turned on a charming, rather handsome smile. (Hell, Sirius hoped he still looked that dashing at nearly seventy.) When it was offered, Alphard took Mina's hand and pressed a kiss against her bruised knuckles. "And who is this beautiful young lady?" he murmured, "So wonderful to meet you, my darling. It's nice to see little Siri has found a fiery lass to keep him in line."

Though Mina didn't seem particularly impressed by the display, she valiantly fought off an eye roll and graciously replied, "Thank you. It's nice to meet more of _little Siri's_ family. The sane ones, anyways. I'm Mina Lupin."

In an instant, Alphard's whole demeanor changed. Gone was the false bravado and over-the-top flirtation. His steely blue eyes softened, his smile taking on a sad tilt. "Oh, yes," he whispered, gazing at Mina as his free hand came up to stroke her slender wrist, "You surely are. I see the resemblance now."

Mina snatched her arm back, frowning in confusion that could quickly become blind rage. "Resemblance to whom?" she demanded.

Alphard's own confusion crept over his wrinkled but distinguished face. He glanced between the two students before slowly stating, "Forgive my presumption, Miss Lupin. I was told you were looking for information about your great aunt. I... I knew her. We went to school together. We were the best of friends. Well, as much as one could be friends with a girl like Joy. She was lovely, if never... entirely committed to the same reality as the rest of us." He chuckled fondly. "But, by Merlin's beard, I always thought her quite remarkable. Especially those dreams..."

Mina just... froze. The color drained out of her cheeks, and Sirius barely managed to catch her before she collapsed.

xxXxx

James couldn't stop apologizing. Hell, he didn't think he could ever forgive himself; Lily had almost died because some psychotic, bigoted Ravenclaw had manufactured a relationship with him. Knowing that such a thing wasn't his fault didn't at all cancel out the fact that Lily had been _thrown out a bloody window_.

"James," she said, swallowing thickly and gazing worriedly at Tia and Dora (both of whom had been sedated and were being attended to by the worried Tonks parents). "Would you sit still? Please? I'm dizzy enough as it is."

Immediately taking the proffered seat on the edge of the mattress, James gushed, "Sorry. Are you sure you're alright? I never expected Zuniga to do anything so horrible-"

"Neither did I," the pretty redhead declared. She smirked wearily. "If you'll recall, I recommended ignoring her. Mina told us that Zuniga was trouble, but we didn't listen." Shuddering, Lily added, "She dreamed it, James. I'm sure she doesn't remember, but, that night you found us outside, she had woken up screaming. All she would say was _window_. She denied it, but I heard... James, she's... she saved my life. I would've died without those wards, and she must've seen enough to put them up..."

James grasped her freckled hand, holding tightly as Lily sobbed.

After several long minutes, the young woman managed enough calm to whisper, "You know what it's like to fall from a broom. Imagine that but... all alone. No chance of a referee or anyone else saving you from the drop, and... it was only seconds. Probably not even that long, but it felt like... and then Mina's net caught me. I could barely move. I could only stare down at... at that drop, not understanding what saved me, not knowing if it would last... Mina came quickly and freed me, but..." She began to cry again, that time throwing her whole body into James's waiting embrace.

(James tried not to enjoy himself too much.)

The infirmary door opened with a crash, and Sirius strode through, carrying Mina bridal style. (Easily, despite her struggles.)

"I'm _FINE!_ Put me down, Padfoot! I don't need-"

"You fainted."

"I did not!"

"How would you know? You were unconscious!"

"I wasn't!"

"Well, you let me carry you here. Can't see that happening unless you were unconscious."

"It's happening right now, despite the fact that I'm perfectly awake and perfectly pissed off!"

Sirius ignored further complaints and carefully deposited her in the adjacent cot, sticking Mina there with a nonverbal spell before proceeding to pound on the nurse's office door.

"You ok, Sunny?" James questioned, not bothering to remove the sniffling redhead from his own arms.

Mina shot him a dirty look, which turned downright murderous when she saw Lily's position. "Fucking peachy," the young she-wolf snarled, "I _love it_ when Padfoot hauls me in here for no bloody reason-"

"Fainting is an entirely acceptable reason!" Sirius argued heatedly. As he herded the annoyed nurse toward her most unruly patient, he pointed an accusing finger at his girlfriend and declared, "She fainted! Don't let her go anywhere until you fix it!"

Madame Mary maneuvered him out of the way, grumbling, "I do not appreciate being ordered about or told how to do my job, Mr. Black, and if you can't behave, then I'll have your removed." She thrust a vial of dark purple Sleeping Draught at Mina and ordered, "Drink."

Mina took the potion and immediately smashed it against the wall, nearly hitting the elderly man who had just entered.

Panting as he helped himself to a much-needed chair, the gray-haired gentleman cautiously drawled, "Well. The castle certainly has changed since my day. Definitely far more stairs, and now flying glass-"

"We've established many times that that foul ooze doesn't affect me!" Mina hollered, looking rather pale but clearly irate, "And yet it's always the first fucking thing you try to prescribe! Are you truly that fucking stupid, or do you just have the memory of a brain-dead goldfish?!"

Madame Mary glared. And then she began casting packing spells, which ended with a trio of large travel trunks floating along behind her as she marched out of the Wing.

"Uh oh," said James, "That storm off looked a bit... final."

Smirking, Mina stretched in her cot and commented, "Only took five-and-a-half bloody years."

Sirius pouted and complained, "But... but we need her. You _fainted_."

"I. Am. _Fine_." the girl snapped, "It was probably... probably the ward on the window. The alarm probably drained my magic more than I thought. I got a little lightheaded, but I feel much better now."

Continuing to pout, turning on his saddest, most heartfelt puppy-dog gaze, Sirius argued, "You should still have a checkup. And if there was a drain on your magic, you should also rest until it's fully recovered. You don't want to end up with magical exhaustion again."

"Pads..."

"I'll tell Moony!"

"You won't!"

"I will!"

"I do not want to spend any more of my Christmas in the bloody infirmary! Just let it go!"

Their glares locked, the air crackling with tension.

Until a polite cough from the older gentleman drew everyone's attention. "I don't mean to be a bother," he said, "But could I trouble someone for a cup of water? Little Siri might've been able to make that trek without getting parched and winded, but I am of a considerably more advanced age."

"Uncle Alphard?" Andromeda asked, conjuring and delivering the requested drink while not bothering to move from her vigil over her sleeping daughter, "What are you doing here?"

The man—Alphard Black, apparently—offered a kind grin. "Oh, hello, Andromeda," he chuckled, "Splendid to see you again. It's been far too long. To answer your question, little Siri wrote me for some information about a dear old friend of mine. Since a letter that included the sum of my knowledge on the subject would likely be measured in kilometers, I determined a visit to be far more expedient. Your home was empty, but your nearest neighbor kindly revealed your whereabouts. Please forgive me if I'm intruding."

Returning a weary smile, Andromeda replied, "Not at all, though I'm afraid we might not be appropriately festive for another few hours. There was an incident earlier this afternoon, and the girls are still recovering."

"How dreadful," the podgy old man remarked. He dug into his waistcoat pocket and produced an impressive array of shrunken presents that were promptly resized. "Well," Alphard continued, "Candy and toys usually cheer the little ones right up. I do hope I brought enough..."

After a few moments of staring incredulously at the ever increasing mountain of gifts, Andromeda stated, "I don't think that'll be a problem..."

xxXxx

"I met Joy on the Hogwarts Express," Alphard began, finally settled in a cozy wingback near the fire in the Gryffindor common room. A thick photo album balanced in his elderly lap as he chose pictures to remove and show off. "September 1st, 1919. It was the start of my second year, her first. She wandered into my compartment and sat down without as much as a by-your-leave." He chuckled briefly, gaze distant with nostalgia. "I rarely interacted with my peers, so imagine my surprise when this tiny girl appears out of nowhere and courteously informs me that we were going to be best friends."

Seated comfortably on Sirius's lap (which was their compromise after the so-called fainting incident), Mina accepted one of the photos being passed around the small circle of Marauders. In the slightly yellowed black-and-white image, a slender girl wearing a dreamy expression and early-1900s Hogwarts robes smiled and waved and leaned her head against a boy's shoulder. The boy had the haughty Black good looks but seemed too shy to flaunt them; he alternated between glancing at the girl and staring at the ground.

"That was taken the day after her sorting," Alphard explained, "Joy joined me in Ravenclaw. Her twin brother John went into Slytherin. He was a rather vain, disagreeable sort. Never much cared for me. He took that picture, but barely an hour later, he pulled me aside and threatened physical violence if I ever dishonored her in any fashion. To this day, I have no doubt that he would've thrashed me good, despite my being older."

Mina received the next image. Though the subjects were the same, this time the girl and boy appeared to be unaware that they were being photographed: curled together on a loveseat in what looked like the Ravenclaw common room, young Joy and Alphard had fallen asleep reading. Occasionally, Joy would twitch and mumble silently, snuggling closer to her friend. Alphard was seconds away from inhaling a mouthful of long hair.

"You mentioned her dreams?" Remus prompted, not withering at all under the force of his sister's glare.

Alphard gave a slow nod. "It didn't take me very long at all to realize that Joy was... special. She sometimes seemed to... know things that she had no way of knowing. Anticipate events before they happened. I remember a few weeks into the term, she woke me at an obscene hour and dragged me down for breakfast. The Hall wasn't even open yet, but she had already located the entrance to the kitchens. The house-elves were more than happy to provide us with all we could eat and, at Joy's insistence, a picnic lunch and dinner as well. Shortly after we left, some seventh-year jokester snuck in trying to spike that morning's batch of pumpkin juice. I never heard exactly what he intended to do, but his little prank backfired and ended up filling the kitchens entirely with an odd orange goo. Not only were breakfast and most of the pantry supplies ruined, but the kitchens were also not useable until the following morning." He paused to chuckle. "Joy, John, and I were the only students in the castle who ate normal meals that day. Everyone else had to make due with their Honeyduke's stashes and the slop that cheapskate Dippet had delivered from the Hog's Head."

The next picture Mina saw had clearly been taken several years after the first two. Both Joy and Alphard had grown taller, the young man's face gone slightly spotty and the girl's waifish figure trapped at an awkward moment of puberty. The pair stood in the midst of a crowded stadium bleacher, Joy on her feet and cheering wildly, Alphard looking quite bewildered as he was jostled by the surrounding spectators.

"I believe that was the Slytherin-Hufflepuff match, May of 1922," he commented with a wistful smile, "John made the team in his third year. Seeker. Joy always went to watch him and always dragged me along... well, every game but one. The first game of the following school year, Gryffindor-Slytherin. Joy cried all morning and begged her brother not to play that day. Of course, John didn't listen. When Joy dragged me off as usual, I assumed we were going to watch the match, but instead we sat outside the infirmary for hours. She wouldn't say why, but it made sense when the nurse suddenly arrived with John unconscious on a stretcher, his neck bent at this... horrible, unnatural angle." Alphard gave a brief shiver, seeming to recall the disturbing sight. "He had fallen from his broom. Not from too great a height, but he'd landed wrongly. His injury was so severe that he was almost immediately transferred to St. Mungo's. Joy stayed by his side. In fact, she'd already packed a bag for herself and for him. They were gone for three weeks, and it took months for John to walk normally. He wasn't able to play again until his fifth year."

"None of that means she dreamed those things would happen," Mina insisted, shoving the picture back, "She could've overhead someone planning the prank and someone threatening her brother. The Gryff-Slyth match is notoriously brutal. It doesn't mean any more than what you read into it."

Alphard offered an almost patronizing laugh. "I suppose your theory is reasonable," he agreed, "There are scores of similar stories I might share in an attempt to prove the point, but all they show is a pattern, whether of clairvoyance or merely a high degree of intuition, I couldn't say. What I know for certain is what Joy told me. And Joy _told me_ that she often dreamed of events that hadn't yet happened."

Mina heard the three boys in the room all draw in startled breaths as their favorite theory gained yet more support. But she still wasn't buying into such nonsense. She barely looked at the next photo to find its way into her hands: a late-teenage Joy and Alphard standing near a fountain... actually, on second glance, Joy was standing _in _the fountain, splashing and laughing brightly, trying to pull her stiff companion in with her.

"I seldom asked her how she knew the things she knew," murmured Alphard, "She was very dear to me, and prying for details always felt... wrong. But... uh... well, the middle of my seventh year, her sixth... I'm not particularly proud of this, but we both partook of a bit too many libations at a post-match party. Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff, I believe. We took a walk around the lake to clear our heads. Joy stopped about halfway through, gave me this... this odd look, and... I'll never forget. She hugged me and smiled and said, '_Alphie, isn't it time you told me? You know I'll still love you no matter what_.'"

The old man struggled for a moment to swallow down the lump in his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was strained. "She was referring, of course, to the shameful Black family secret," Alphard said with a small degree of amused sarcasm, "Well, I suppose that's not entirely accurate. It isn't a terribly well-kept secret. I'm just careful of who I tell. Decades later, I'm sure some elements would still see me executed for my... proclivities." A rather boyish blush climbed over his distinguished features. "I... prefer the company of men... in a... romantic sense. Though I'd known for ages, Joy was the first person I ever admitted it to... I'm not sure that I would have, if not for the drink loosening my tongue. By the next morning, I had worked myself into quite a state, thinking she'd hate me, thinking someone would find out, that it would get back to my family... Joy tried for hours to calm me down, and, finally, she snapped at me. She said, '_Oh, Alphie, it's not that terrible! At least you don't have dreams that sometimes come true! You think your secret puts you in danger of being disowned or killed? Well, mine puts me in danger of much, much worse!_'"

The next photo (the first in color) showed Joy alone, seated at a small wrought-iron table at an outdoor café. Chin in hand and long legs crossed delicately, the thin woman gazed pensively off into the distance. An occasional breeze moved her modest skirt and the strands of pale hair that had escaped from her elegant braid.

"We travelled after she graduated," Alphard continued. "A three-year circuit of Europe, Asia, and North America. Neither of our families knew we had gone together. It was rather shocking for the times, but Joy insisted. Those were some of the best days of my life. She told me a little more about her dreams. Not much but... she said that those closest physically to her were easiest to read. Well, not _read_, because the process was rather involuntary, but... the most likely to be the subjects of her dreams. She claimed it was a family trait that afflicted the women, the remnants of an ancient curse. Although that might've just been a stray bit of lore from some past relation waxing eloquent. You know how the old houses like to claim grandiose ancestry-"

"Such as?" Remus demanded eagerly. He was practically jumping with anticipation, his amber eyes begging the man to provide more facts.

Chuckling, Alphard declared, "Cassandra of Troy. You're familiar with the story?"

Of course they were; the only bedtime stories they ever got out of Grandmother Lupin were Greek Myths. Apollo had tried to seduce the beautiful princess Cassandra, gifting her with the power of prophecy. When Cassandra rejected his advances, Apollo cursed her so that her predictions (and those of her descendents), while always right, would never be believed. She tried, futilely, to warn her people about the Trojan War, the iconic Trojan Horse, and even the death of the king. Seeing the future but not being able to do anything to stop it drove her close to madness.

Mina rolled her eyes, ignoring her twin's relieved sigh. "Fairy tales and ancient history aside," she drawled, "All we need to know is whether or not she's still alive and where we can find her."

Alphard gave her a funny look. "Who? Cassandra?"

Sirius giggled until Mina swatted his arm.

"No," she quipped, battling down a headache and the urge to make an old man cry, "Great Aunt Joy. _Merlin's sake_..."

With an uncomfortable cough, Alphard muttered, "My apologies for the misunderstanding. And I'm also quite sorry to say that, while I still receive occasional letters from Joy, I have no way of contacting her, nor have I seen her since 1965."

"You haven't seen your best friend in over ten years?" James gaped, horrified at the very thought.

Alphard nodded. "At the end of our travels, Joy grew very sad. When I asked what was troubling her, she would only say that... that whatever happened, I needed to remember she loved me and was doing all she could to save us both. The next day, her brother and my father tracked us down outside Boston, ambushed me near the hotel. Word of our _gallivanting_ had reached them, and they assumed we were lovers. They had entered us into a betrothal contract in order to redeem the families' honor and salvage Joy's reputation. I wasn't about to admit that I didn't desire any woman like that, not even my dear Joy, so I... I agreed. Put on a good show of it. Even a sham marriage was better than what the families would do to us... but by the time we arrived back at the hotel room, Joy was already gone. She'd left a letter, claiming that she no longer loved me, that her heart belonged to another."

"A fake breakup for a relationship that didn't exist?" Sirius commented wryly as he squeezed Mina's thigh, "Dead clever. Guess that's where you and Moony get it from, eh?"

For a few moments, Alphard shared his nephew's amusement. The old man stated, "After I returned to England, I found another letter in my trunk. Joy advised me that, when the time was right, I should feign absolute heartbreak and swear an oath before my father that I would never marry as long as I lived. She would remain in hiding for two years, which was how long her brother had to produce her in order to hold up his end of the contract. When John failed, my father, as the injured party, collected a substantial sum of money from the Lupins, but Joy assured me that it was no matter. She had warned her brother when he took over Head of House duties that she would never go quietly into a marriage not of her choosing. She wrote that, if John refused to abide by her wishes, then he deserved neither her compliance nor her counsel. It seemed that the Lupins were quite aware their line occasionally produced seers, and women with such a talent were traditionally put in charge of finances. The secret behind their wealth. Imagine John's ire when his sister refused to perform such a duty for him. I don't believe their fortune ever fully recovered. I know their relationship did not."

Another photo appeared in Mina's grasp. Joy must've been in her late twenties by then, standing beside a slightly older, far more somber woman. The woman's dark, severe features seemed familiar, which made the identity of the baby she held all but certain.

"John married Demetria Lestrange in 1935-"

"_Lestrange?_" Mina spat, "Oh, don't tell me we're related to that dick Ficus!" The horrid Unspeakable was enough of a massive pain in her arse without actually sharing their gene pool.

Alphard shook his head. "She was born Demetria Brodeur and first married Ophiucus Lestrange's younger brother, Cetus. Cetus died in the beginning of the Grindelwald conflict only a few years later, and his father, not wanting the burden of supporting a daughter-in-law who hadn't even bothered to provide any potential heirs, arranged to have her married off for a second time. A rather scandalous development during the era, but Demetria couldn't get away from them fast enough. John was available when she needed the means of escape. She was older than John by six years, but I believe they did grow to love each other. They had a son, Cassius, in 1936. After a lengthy period living abroad, Joy returned to England to meet her nephew."

With a dry chuckle, Alphard continued, "By that time, my father had long given up hope of my providing any heirs and, despite their advanced age, my parents... _blessed_ the world with the two siblings who so trouble me to this day. Walburga was born in 1925, Cygnus in 1938. Siri and Andi of course knows how badly they turned out, a raving lunatic and a spineless whelp, both happily enslaved to a sadistic madman... but I suppose that's a bit off topic... where was I? Oh, yes. Cassius. John mostly rebuffed his sister's efforts to grow close to her nephew, as well as his sister's warnings of how dire the consequences of spoiling the boy could be. Demetria allowed some visiting, but not much. She either didn't know of Joy's dreams or didn't care. Joy and I took to travelling together again. Her reputation was already in shambles, and I was well known to be hopelessly smitten with her. Since our families had given up and neither of us cared about gossip, there was no further harm to be done. Many years passed. John died of a sudden heart attack in 1961, the year after his son fathered a set of twins out of wedlock with a barely-legal muggleborn witch. Joy never knew until July 1965, which was the last time I saw her in person."

There were no more picture handed around. Alphard seemed far too lost in thought to provide any further visual aids. "She arrived at my home in the middle of the night. I'd never seen her so distraught and spent hours just calming her down enough to tell me what had happened. She explained how her nephew had sired two children, a boy and a girl. She explained that, despite knowing of the family curse, John had never seen fit to warn the girl's mother. In his... arrogance, John assumed that... that just because he didn't consider a half-blood to be a legitimate member of his family, that the girl would not be entitled to any family abilities. He forbade Demetria from speaking or providing support to the mother of their grandchildren. He did his best to cover up their... _your _existence."

Alphard sighed and stared sadly into Mina's eyes. He said, "I don't know exactly what your mother did to you, but I know that afterwards, Demetria finally defied John and contacted Joy. Whatever Joy saw when she arrived... she didn't come to my place until days later, yet she was still shaking. She went on and on about how doing something so horrible to a child was the worst sort of evil and madness. She... she told me..." The old man gave a weak chuckle. "Joy had been my best friend for over forty-five years, but there was so much about her I never suspected. One such thing was that the Unspeakables had recruited her straight out of Hogwarts-"

"Explains why we can't bloody find her," grumbled Remus. "Hell, those three who are harassing Mina might not even know! The publically acknowledged members generally aren't told the identities of the codename-only branch!"

Nodding, Alphard continued, "Joy didn't reveal her codename, but she said she was still their go-to girl for any sensitive research that required extensive international travel. Our trips were almost always covers, made in search of answers to elusive questions that no one else could dream of answering. She told me that there are horrors in this world, atrocities only the most twisted individuals would even think to commit. She told me that one such horror had been visited upon her lovely little grand-niece. And she told me that... that she wasn't sure she could fix it."

Mina wasn't sure she could listen to any more of this... this useless tripe. Clearly, her great aunt had always been a bit off, a bit delusional, and Alphard was offering no information other than the fact that the woman was most likely still alive. Everything else was just... ridiculous.

Thankfully, Dumbledore chose that moment to barge into the common room. Though his movements seemed controlled, the old man couldn't disguise his panting breath: evidence that he'd hurried to intrude. "Forgive the interruption," he declared, sweeping forward to shake Alphard's hand, "I heard we had a late edition to the guest roster. Welcome to Hogwarts, Mr. Black."

"Thank you, Headmaster," Alphard replied. He gathered himself back from his brief moments of emotional vulnerability and offered an amiable smile, "Terribly sorry to have arrived unannounced, but at our age, to delay a day is to tempt fate." He chuckled. "I do hope you're having a Merry Christmas. And, please, enjoy the bottles of mead I left with the elves for you and the staff."

Smiling through his asinine beard, Dumbledore replied, "Very thoughtful of you, sir. I'll be sure to inform the others of your gift... now, if you don't mind indulging an old man's curiosity, I take it you are here to shed some light on Mr. and Miss Lupin's missing potential guardian?"

If Alphard blabbed about the supposed prophetic dreams or that Curse of Cassandra bullshit, Mina was going to slaughter everyone in the room. And then she was going to move to fucking Antarctica. Maybe living amongst the penguins would solve all her problems.

"Indeed," the gray-haired gentleman answered, resuming his seat with a relieved grunt, "Although I don't believe I've been much help. While I still receive occasional letters from Joy, she's been out of the country for the last decade. Some sort of research project, if my memory serves. My attempts at writing to her have all proven quite futile." He gave a forlorn sigh before adding, "I do adore her, but she can be quite... erm... single-minded when something captures her focus."

Slowly, Dumbledore drawled, "Yes, many of our brightest minds tend to be similarly afflicted... perhaps, when you are finished visiting with your family, the two of us might sit down and discuss leads on her location. I would very much like to see the elder Ms. Lupin assume her duties. Students seem to thrive so much more when they have a responsible adult to whom they are accountable."

Mina gave a snort of derision, standing abruptly. She kicked over two chairs and a table as she stormed away from so much patronization and idiocy.

xxXxx

Since Uncle Alphard decided to accept the invitation to spend the next few days at the Tonks homestead, Sirius was given the task of pumping the old man for information.

Most of it was exactly what the Marauders already knew or suspected: seer abilities ran in the Lupin family, most often in the form of dreams, most often related to people in physical proximity; sometimes the seer wasn't even aware of what she knew. Alphard gave rather somber advice on the subject: "If Joy said that she didn't feel like iceskating, Merlin help any poor soul who dared venture onto the lake."

But despite what the lads considered compelling evidence, Mina remained entirely obstinate. Her letters had been curt; those from her brother and James were full of exasperation at her increasingly hostile behavior. Apparently, she'd quit sleeping entirely and wasn't even trying to hide it. No one could broach the subject without having his or her eyebrows (or worse) singed off by bouts of accidental magic. Of course, that was only when Mina _wasn't_ disappearing for hours into the snowy forest or smoking herself into oblivion.

Sirius sighed heavily and made one final inspection of his hair and general appearance. Remus's last missive had basically been permission to calm his sister down _by any means necessary_. And while that was, on one level, immensely creepy, Sirius had already been planning an intervention of roughly the same theme...

_KnockknockknockKnockKnock_. "Siri?"

Instinctively, Sirius took a knee and opened his arms, sighing happily as his ball-of-energy baby cousin flung herself into them. "Wotcher, Dora?" he laughed.

The tiny girl cuddled closer, her hair kaleidoscoping uncontrollably (as it tended to do when she was very happy). "Happy New Years!" she babbled, "Mummy says I'm too little to stay up, but you'll be here tomorrow, and tomorrow is a whole new year! Daddy says we should have res'lutions. That means what we wanna do next year! I wanna not trip so much!" Dora pulled away long enough to beam up at him, her features sliding in and out of recognition. The girl added, "What's your res'lution, Siri?"

Merlin's hairy ballsack. Where did he begin? "I want to visit my favorite baby cousin more often," the teen declared, sincerely. "And... uh... I want to..."

"Make your girlfriend happy!" Dora suggested, giggling. "Mina is _awesome_! Siri, you should marry her!"

Acutely aware of the brilliant burst of bliss that erupted in his chest at the very thought, Sirius agreed, "As soon as she agrees to marry me back. I think you'll be just the right age to be our flower girl. Interested?"

Dora squealed, dancing around in circles as she followed Sirius to the floo.

The other members of the family awaited, Andromeda hugging him, kissing his cheeks and warning him to behave; Ted grinning and telling him to have fun; Uncle Alphard clapping the young man into a hug. Alphard's advice—"Take care of her, lad"—stuck with him long into the eventful night.

xxXxx

"Is... is she... alright?" Lily haltingly inquired, staring worriedly at Mina Lupin as the girl danced drunkenly by herself in a secluded corner of the Three Broomsticks. Between the generally inebriation and the slutty black dress, there was hardly a male eye that did not dwell upon the disturbed girl. Hell, even Heloise Sinclair seemed incapable of picking her jaw up off the sticky floor.

James sighed. He pointedly did not look in the direction that Lily had indicated. (He clearly didn't enjoy seeing his almost-sister in such a state (or such a state of dress).) "Probably not," he replied, arm twitching around the redhead's shoulders, "She's... I don't know why she hates the idea so much but she's... not adjusting... actually, it's more like she's in _complete _denial."

Lily nodded. She could understand. Somewhat. Known seers didn't have many options in life, much less much life expectancy. They mostly hid, when they weren't being hunted or exploited. However... well, Mina was about as stubborn as a person could be, but she wasn't unreasonable; why the hell did she refuse to even consider the possibility? The very _likely_ possibility? She wouldn't even let Lily offer any thanks for saving the redhead's life...

Though, currently, Lily was far more concerned about the situation with James; he kept opening his mouth like he had finally decided to address the massive elephant between them, but guilt or fear or... whatever prevented the attempt. Lily would start the conversation but... well... she didn't have any idea of what to say, or what the whole _kissed James Potter under the mistletoe_ thing meant.

The door opened, letting in a gust of freezing air and Mary MacDonald. Her shrewd dark gaze scanned the pub and its loud, rowdy inhabitants. Sirius Black was only a step behind and gallantly hung the girl's cloak for her before both teens moved to approach Mina.

They never got that far because the shockwaves from a massive, deafening explosion rocked the building and sent a great many of the more liquored-up patrons hurtling out of their chairs and off their feet.

One such unfortunate victim was Mina Lupin; she ended up sprawled across the lap of a drunken letch who immediately took the opportunity to leer something no doubt demeaning and slap her barely covered bum.

Mina demonstrated her displeasure by breaking a bottle over the man's balding skull.

Briefly, Lily was rather concerned that the incident would devolve into a barroom brawl and distract from the real emergency taking place somewhere outside, but, fortunately, the drunken letch's equally drunk friends all backed off in a hurry when Mina brandished the wickedly sharp glass shard left in her tightly clenched fist.

"Death Eaters," the brave soul who'd investigated through the frosted windows gasped, "At least a dozen, four doors down! Looks like they took out the new clothing store. Owners are a couple of muggleborns... oh, Merlin! They're dragging them out of their house!"

With a cacophany of terrified shouts, most of the customers chose the same moment to panic. Lily clung to James, trying to avoid being trampled as the witches and wizards all attempted to flee through the back exit.

"_OI!_"

Mina probably used a charm to amplify her voice, but if she hadn't, then Lily was thoroughly impressed. Especially because the shout managed to stop most of the frightened herd animals in their tracks.

"Don't you fucking cowards take another fucking step!" the girl shrieked, already wild-eyed as she transfigured her strappy high heels into sensible combat boots, "You say there's a dozen of them, eh?! Well, there are NEARLY FIFTY OF _US_! GET YOUR FUCKING WANDS OUT AND ACT LIKE YOU KNOW HOW TO USE THEM FOR MORE THAN BUGGERING EACH OTHER SENSELESS!"

She retrieved her handbag, muttering angrily and rummaging through the obviously magically expanded depths. Her hand came back wrapped tightly around a squat jar; the jar was filled half with bright red liquid, half with bright blue; like oil and water, the two liquid colors sloshed against each other but didn't mix.

And before anyone could inquire further or form any sort of plan, Mina charged out the front door. "HEY! DICK EATERS!" she cackled, sounding bloodthirsty and completely unhinged, "NOBODY INVITED YOU TO OUR FUCKING PARTY!" Just before disappearing from view, the waif of a girl in skimpy cocktail dress and clunk boots hurled the jar in the direction of the assault.

There was a crash, a blinding, concussive purple flash, momentary silence outside before the sounds of deranged laughter and fierce battle resumed.

"_Shit_," James sighed as he and the other Marauders rushed to their friend's aid.

Lily followed their lead, and, rather surprisingly, so did most of the pub patrons.

Who knew shame was so effective at gathering an impromptu army of drunkards?

xxxxxxxxxx

I know I promised this would be up yesterday, but I didn't take into account that there would be site maintenance during my posting window. Not my fault. But I do appreciate all the reviews. Even the copious unsigned ones I suspect may have been submitted by the same user... hmm...

Anyways. See y'all in the new year. You should probably resolve to review more ;)

(As always, I would be much obliged if people would point out any typos/errors I missed. I hate finding them too late to fix them.)


	40. Echoes

Part 40 – Echoes

Mina groaned, slowly, reluctantly rejoining consciousness to find herself in the grips of what could easily develop into the worst hangover of her short life. She kept her eyes squeezed tightly shut; if light hit her pupils, she would _surely_ die...

"Mmm, Sunshine?"

The girl gave a sigh of relief and cuddled against her conveniently boyfriend-shaped mattress. "Paddy," she whimpered, "_Please_ tell me you have hangover potion. I will do _anything_ for a dose right now."

There was a short, thoughtful pause before his deep, gravelly voice rumbled, "_Anything_, you say?"

"_SIRIUS!_"

"Urgh, Moony," Mina complained, burrowing closer to her most probable source of pain relief, "Not so _loud_... Merlin's festering rectum. How much did I bloody drink last night?"

There was another short pause, though this one seemed to carry with it a distinct sense of bewilderment.

"You don't _remember_?" James growled. Something in his tone said _you bloody well better because it's your fault we're in this mess!_

Mina responded with an evasive grunt, grudgingly prodding her poor throbbing synapses to work together to construct a rough sketch of the previous evening...

It came back in a mad, nauseating rush.

Trying to singlehandedly stop a Death Eater attack had surprisingly turned into leading a horde of drunken New Years revelers into an equally surprising onesided battle. Mina's sparkly paint bomb had proven unnecessary as not even one aggressor escaped mob justice and subsequent capture. Almost a shame, really; Mina had been looking forward to respected members of society and government having to explain why their eyes and mouths were dyed purple in approximately the outline of a skull mask.

"Right," the girl chuckled, adding hoarseness to her lengthening list of maladies, "That was pretty awesome."

"_Pretty awesome_?!" Evans shrieked. She seemed to be hyperventilating somewhere off to Mina's left. "_Pretty awesome_?! What about this could _possibly_ be described as _pretty awesome_?! Oh, _god_! My parents are going to _kill me_!"

Very sincerely, Mina replied, "They won't get the chance if you don't _shut the bloody hell up_. Fuck. What is the ginger even _doing_ in here?"

Another pause.

"And just _where_ do you think _here_ is?" inquired an icy, only vaguely familiar tone.

Mina struggled to identify the speaker, finally muttering, "Sinclair?" What the bloody hell was a Slytherin doing there? "Er... boys' dorm?"

"Guess again," Mary sighed.

"... common room?"

"Not even close."

Very unenthusiastically bracing herself for an onslaught of pain, Mina cracked opened one bleary eye.

Her efforts revealed a dim cell of medium size, dingy gray bricks and dingy gray bars, two long wooden benches running down opposite walls. The seven teenagers barely had enough room for everyone to squeeze in, though the fact that Sirius was sprawled across the floor and Mina was sprawled across Sirius certainly helped alleviate some crowding.

"Uh..." Mina gaped, "Ok... did we get arrested?"

"_You_ incited a _riot_," growled James.

She scoffed loudly and barely resisted the urge to whimper as the vibrations tore through her brain like shrapnel. "Hardly," the girl argued, with a boneless shrug.

Yet _another _pause. And incredulous stares that made Mina's clammy skin crawl.

"It was a fucking Death Eater attack," she defended, "The aurors didn't bother showing up until it was already over. I can't be expected to do _every _part of their job. A little chaos never hurt anyone."

"You were encouraging the crowd to burn the captives at the stake," Sinclair haughtily pointed out.

"Anyone who didn't completely deserve it, then," Mina corrected. She gave an angry huff. "Tell whoever's on guard duty that I demand a hangover potion, a plate of crispy bacon, and my fucking solicitor."

With a bitter laugh, Remus quipped, "I highly doubt any of the aurors are in the mood to help you. Not after you punched Vance."

Hmm... that also seemed familiar... right, the frigid shrew showed up in full-fledged PMS and, without asking a single question, promptly attempted to detain Mina for a ridiculous list of charges that included vandalism, disturbing the peace, public drunkenness, and underage magic. Mina had struggled to wrap her mind around how Vance could focus on such trivial matters when there were a dozen Death Eaters—murderers, rapists, and thugs, the dregs of humanity—fucking _giftwrapped_ and ready for interrogation not half a yard yonder. And when Vance grabbed the girl in an attempt to slap on the cuffs, Mina... well, admittedly retaliating with her fists probably wasn't the _wisest_ option, but it was quite literally the only one that seemed appropriate at the time.

"Explains the sore knuckles," she muttered to herself. The Death Eaters had mostly been hexed and cursed, with one or two kicks for good measure once they were down; Lazarov's and the auror guard's dueling lessons had pointed out, with agonizing frequency, Mina's unwise habit of relying more on physical brawling than on magical tactics, and the girl had done her damndest not to make the same mistakes in battle that she'd fallen to so many times in practice.

(Which was not to say she had been uninjured in the melee; Mina distinctly remembered taking several cutting curses on her limbs, one across her back that still felt rather raw. Fortunately, she also remembered James moodily shadowing her in the aftermath, snarling commands to _sit bloody still_ while he healed the worst of it.)

"Wait," the girl yawned, "I get how _I_ ended up here, even if it is _fucking ridiculous_. How'd the rest of you-"

Sinclair laughed loudly, just shy of frantic. "You punched the bitchy auror," she declared, "Got in a few good hits before three of her comrades stunned you at once. Your brother and your boy-toy went berserk-"

"Boy-toy?" gasped Sirius, "How _dare you_!"

"-along with most of your drunken army-"

"Coolest army ever," said Mina, smugly. She hoped her friends had written down some of their names; despite the brief moment of cowardice, those blokes were alright.

"-and then it was suddenly aurors versus _everybody else_. Though, of course those of us who possess a shred of common sense _tried_ to stay out of that nonsense-"

"Way to insult _everybody else in the room_, Sinclair," quipped Mary. Her eye roll was so pronounced it practically echoed.

"-unfortunately, reinforcements arrived and decided to round up the lot. After all, what better way to resolve a situation than with a mass arrest of all the civilians at the scene?" She gave a half-strangled scream. "This is what I get for consorting with _Gryffindors_! I bloody well knew better! I did! But _nooooo_! I just had to try to _make new friends_! I had to be _mature_ enough to see past _silly_ House rivalries! _BOLLOCKS_! Your reputation for _unfathomable idiocy_ is _well earned_! I should've just gone to Slughorn's party! Being bored to tears is _far_ superior to ending up with a _criminal record_!"

In the ringing silence that the cessation of shouting produced, Mina snorted. "So no one else finds this amusing?" the girl chuckled, "Really? Just me? I'm very disappointed in all of you."

"I know the feeling, Miss Lupin."

Mina moaned theatrically. "Pads," she whined, "Make him go away."

Yawning, Sirius argued, "But he's probably here to bail us out."

"Don't care." Being bailed out would mean not only moving from her comfortable position, but also listening to the headmaster's predictable lecture: both intolerable travesties when compared to blessed inertia.

The cell door slid open with a thrumming rasp of metal-on-metal and a spitefully unnecessary _CLANG_. Before Mina could offer anatomically impossible suggestions about where the person responsible for such horrific noises could insert his own head, Longbottom's overly loud, entirely unamused voice called out, "Black, Evans, MacDonald, and Sinclair, your various parents and guardians are waiting outside to take you home. Potter, the Directors would like to see you in their office-"

"Oh, fuck." Poor specky bastard even _sounded_ pale. Mina might, too, if she had the dubious distinction of calling the Directors of the DMLE _Mum_ and _Dad_.

"-Lupin and Lupin," Frankie continued, "You'll be released into the custody of Professor McGonagall as soon as she finishes filling out the necessary paperwork. In the meantime, Headmaster Dumbledore and Lord Lestrange would like to have a few words with you... That's the cue for everyone to rearrange themselves accordingly."

Mina realized that she was about to lose her comfortable boyfriend mattress about two seconds before he very gently maneuvered her onto the vacant space beside Remus on the left bench.

Smiling softly and brushing his dry lips against her forehead, Sirius murmured, "You'd better write me when you get back. Really, love. If I don't hear from you soon, I'll have to assume the worst and mount a daring rescue."

_Being upright sucks_. "F'course, Paddy-cakes," the girl slurred. She cuddled into the wonderful, warm embrace for a moment before whispering, "Love you."

Mina registered that she said what she said about two seconds after she said it.

And, not that she didn't believe _it_, not that she'd take _it_ back... but... hell... she'd been struggling over those two words for months and months, and _now_? _Now_ was when they wriggled out into the world? She and her boyfriend were in a blasted _jail cell_ of all places!

A sensation that was half delight, half terror fluttered inside her fragile ribcage. _Knowing it_ and _Saying it_ were two very different concepts.

Of course, Sirius smiled an utterly adoring smile and bent in for a long, slow kiss, a kiss that made her blood sing and her spine melt and her toes curl, a kiss that made Remus mutter angrily and Frank squirm with puritanical outrage. A kiss that, despite the setting, despite the taste of unbrushed teeth, deserved a trophy for being one of the best kisses in all of human history. "Love you, too, Sunshine," the black-haired boy whispered. He dragged his lips across her cheek and down her throat, nuzzling into her like the big affectionate puppy he would always be at heart.

"This isn't a motel, Black," Frank grumbled. He was suddenly in the cell with them, grabbing Sirius around the collar and hauling him backwards. "Nor am I a babysitter, or a chaperone, or your bloody mother-"

"Merlin forbid."

Sounds of their argument swelled and faded. Another sliding rack of bars, somewhere far down the right hallway, slammed, and then Mina couldn't hear them anymore.

She started to feel rather cold and burrowed against her twin's side, but Remus was a scrawny bastard, i.e: nowhere near as well suited to human-pillow duty as Sirius was.

"Miss Lupin."

The girl gave a heavy, put-upon sigh. "We can skip any attempted guilt trips," she announced, "I feel neither remorse nor shame in regards to my actions. All I really want to hear is why I am sitting in a mother-fucking jail cell when I _should_ be getting ready to accept my Order of Merlin for Valor and General Badassery."

Remus pinched her thigh, right above her bare knee. _Prissy little bitch... and he wonders why I prefer snuggling with Sirius._

In a steady timbre that did not betray his advanced age, Dumbledore responded, "You believe you deserve an award for breaking school rules, international statutes, and the trust of those who care deeply about you? Or perhaps for leading innocents into danger? Inciting needless violence and civil unrest?"

Chuckling, shaking her throbbing head, Mina teased, "Careful, Headmaster. You put anymore spin on the events and we're all going to end up quite dizzy. Oh, wait. I already am dizzy. Must have something to do with that police brutality I'll be suing over. Have the fuckwits even bothered calling my solicitor? Hell, was I seen by a healer before being tossed into this pit?"

"No, you were not," growled Remus.

There was stern silence. And then Dumbledore drawled, "The Hogsmeade incident was one of five simultaneous attacks, the only one that did not result in any fatalities. As most healers are still occupied attempting to save the more critical victims from the same fate, I'm sure you can understand how your injuries came to be considered low priority."

Mina swallowed thickly, suddenly feeling rather ill. But, no. _No_. This was just the guilt trip she had predicted. She would _not_ let him win. "So let me get this straight," the girl muttered, "Fresh from four other scenes of carnage, the delightful Auror Vance apparated into Hogsmeade to find that not only was no one dead, but also that all the Death Eaters were captured, and her first instinct was to arrest me for, among other spurious charges, _underage magic_? Despite the fact that she merely _assumed_ I cast a spell and that she did not actually see me even with a wand in hand? That the _Reasonable _Restrictions on Underage Sorcerey don't even apply when self-defense or defense of others is concerned? No one else detects an issue with that series of events? I understand the whiny twat is still holding a grudge, but, really, it was neither the time nor place. Not to mention she basically manufactured pointless work for her already exhausted and probably injured colleagues."

Mina would argue the case personally in front of the Wizengamot if she had to; Vance was going to pay for being a useless, petty, vindictive cunt.

"Auror Vance's brother was killed in the attack on Camelot," Dumbledore announced, "She was justifiably upset. However, as you've noted, the charges against you were tentative at best and likely would've been dropped if you hadn't resisted arrest."

Staring in absolute bewilderment, Mina replied, "So I should've just let her cuff me and drag me to jail for no bloody reason? That's your solution?" The girl stood, doing her best not to sway too dramatically as the blood rushed out of her pounding skull. Not the pain of a well-earned hangover but the lingering effects of incompetence and injustice. "I have always resisted _persecution_ in all its forms, and there's not a damn thing you can say that would keep me from continuing to do so. Last night was actually _two _perfect examples. I fought back against the Death Eaters when nearly everyone else was going to run. I made those people in that pub stand and fight, and, guess what, you _delusional relic_, that is precisely _why_ there were no fatailities. Maybe if your school wasn't churning out such _pathetic _excuses for witches and wizards-"

"Miss Lupin!"

"No!" she snarled, taking a step forward and rattling the bars of her bloody cage. Calypsos's tits, she hated being caged. "_Listen_ to me!" Mina shouted, "Fifty fully trained adults were going to flee like frightened little bunnies rather than stand up against twelve- bloody _twelve_ thugs who were torturing people in the street! I assume that at the other locations, everyone actually _did_ run! They ran and left innocents to suffer, didn't they, old man?"

As angry as Mina had ever seen him, Dumbledore gave a small, reluctant nod. "Normal citizens rely on the aurors to keep them safe-"

"BULLSHIT!" Mina screamed and shook the bars again, "A man and a woman being dragged from their homes and crucioed until their eyes bleed is not _someone else's problem_! We all carry deadly weapons in our pockets, and still they run! How many fucking generations have you been in charge of Hogwarts? How many generations of utter _cowards_ have you inflicted upon the world?! And of course an occasional psychopath thrown in the mix?! One or two is statistics! Most of the goddamn population is cause-and-effect! I don't care if Hogwarts tops the charts for NEWT scores! You have _failed_ as an educator! You have _failed_ as a leader! You have _failed _as a _human being_! So don't you _dare _stand there and tell me that what I did was wrong! That I should've allowed _anyone_ to be tortured or allowed _anyone_ to trample my rights for _any bloody reason_! _I'D RATHER DIE_!"

She probably would've fainted without righteous anger propping up her tired body.

Remus kept trying to make her sit, gently tugging her backwards and whispering soothing nonsense past the ringing in her ears.

Sighing heavily, seemingly unaffected by the tirade, Dumbledore murmured, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Mina. But I did not come here to argue with you. I came to inform you that because of your actions last night, the courts have decided to fast-track your custody papers. Your great aunt has one week to claim you before your case will be heard and a new guardian assigned."

"Good luck with that," snorted Mina, rolling her eyes, "We're three months shy of seventeen. What the hell do we need with a guardian?"

The thus-far silent Lord Ophiucus Lestrange chose that moment to offer his two sickles. Emerging from the shadows with his long gray hair perfectly framing his thin, haughty features, the old man declared, "You need to be taught some shred of decorum, before it's too late."

Mina gaped at him for a few moments. And then began to laugh. And laugh and laugh and laugh. "Y-You?" she choked out between nearly hysterical guffaws, "_You_ think you're going to teach me _decorum_? BWAHAHAHA! HAHA! HAHAHA! HA! HA!"

Once again, Mina struggled to remain standing and only managed to do so with the help of her worried twin. She wiped tears of mirth out of her bleary eyes and finally gasped, "Oh. Oh, hell. That is a _good one_!"

"I do not see the humor in the situation," Lord Ficus growled. His black-clad shoulders flared and widened. "You have been allowed to run around like a wild animal for far too long. Obviously your grandmother did not possess the fortitude necessary to provide the strict discipline you require."

The hysterical humor evaporated in an instant. Glaring, her voice a low snarl, Mina responded, "Say another word about my grandmother, and I'll show you just how much of a _wild animal _I can be."

It was with some degree of satisfaction and amusement that Mina thought she saw Lestrange flinch and almost step back. "Hmm," he drawled, unbearably pompous, "Yes, I believe you would, which is the problem. Proper young ladies do not threaten their betters."

Mina snorted, "And you think _you're_ my better? Please. The day death-eating scum like you-"

"Watch your mouth!" the old man hissed, "You know _nothing_ if you think I follow that madman!"

_Hmm_, the girl thought to herself, _An interesting development_... "Right," she chuckled, "Just both your sons and your sadistic daughter-in-law. Nice job on the parenting."

Lestrange stalked closer to the bars, gaunt cheeks taking on a hint of angry color. "My sons would _never _demean themselves-"

"Is this really news to you?" Mina cackled right in the man's ugly face, "For fuck's sake. _Everyone_ knows. You must've at least heard rumors. Are you so afraid of the truth that you haven't checked them for marks? Maybe you'd make a good guardian after all. Willful ignorance of such high caliber is awfully difficult to find."

The comments had the desired effect: the enraged man turned and stormed away.

Smirking at the shocked headmaster, Mina chuckled, "Well, that was easy."

Dumbledore's sad blue eyes bored into her. "It is unwise to alienate Lord Lestrange," the tall wizard declared, "For all his faults, he truly does not follow the Dark Lord, which is more than I can say for some who might petition for guardianship. Especially if knowledge of your potential abilities manages to circulate."

"Planning on taking out an ad in _the Prophet_?" Mina grumbled, trying unsuccessfully to stretch a kink out of her sore neck, "What the hell is his deal, anyways? He can't possibly be doing this out of the goodness of his icy little heart."

"The Unspeakables have been after you for months," Remus guessed, his steady voice full of quiet rage, "That's it, isn't it? Lestrange actually wants to become our guardian just so he can turn Mina over to the Department of Mysteries? So he can use her in his sick experiments?"

Nodding, Dumbledore replied, "I suspect so, yes, but I shall reiterate that things could be far worse. Lord Lestrange's interest in you doesn't seem to extend beyond having his questions answered. He can be rather... forceful when research is involved."

"You can't let this happen!" screamed Remus. This time, he was the one furiously pounding the bars. "You can't! They'll never let her go once they have her! They'll find out and-"

"Mr. Lupin," the headmaster interrupted peevishly, "What would you have me do? The situation is out of my hands and also, I'll remind you, entirely of your sister's making. If you have complaints, then I suggest you take them up with her." He, too, swept away down the long hallway, bellowing curtly for the guard to let him out.

Wordlessly, the twins resumed their place on the low, scratched wooden bench. With movements well practiced in a distant but ever-present childhood, they curled into each other's embrace and trembled in the expectation of imminent disaster.

xxXxx

"You were bad."

Sirius tore his eyes away from the window (the one that _still_ hadn't allowed entrance to an owl with a reassuring missive) and blinked down at his baby cousin.

Tiny features twisted into an expression of unusual strictness, narrowed eyes shifting shape and color with every breath, Dora propped her little balled fists on her frilly-tutu-clad hips and declared, "Mummy says you got in a fight and that's why you didn't come home when you were s'possed to and why she had to go pick you up. Uncle Alphie told me you went to _jail_."

Sirius... honestly had no response to that; he wasn't about to attempt to explain to a toddler that he'd gladly followed his girlfriend into a battle against genocidal maniacs and then been unlawfully detained by overzealous law enforcement officers.

"Jail is for bad people," the girl declared, with the enviable logic of the barely potty trained, "So you must'a done something bad."

"It was... uh... a mistunderstanding." Sirius shuffled morosely, unable to _believe_ Dora was executing such a masterful guilt trip. Especially considering the lad _knew_ he hadn't done anything to actually feel guilty over. "Really, love," he told the skeptical metamorph, "My friends and I helped the aurors save some people. Afterwards, the aurors wanted to talk to us more, but they were busy, so they asked us to hang out until they were ready. They let us go in the morning."

Unfortunately, Dora had not been particularly inclined to take Sirius at his word ever since the Santa Claus fiasco; still scowling, she declared, "When I'm bad, Mummy makes me sit in the corner."

Sirius sensed where the conversation was heading and wanted no part of it.

"If you don't have cons'quences when you're bad, then you grow up bad," Dora smartly pointed out, "That's what Mummy says. I don't want you to to grow up bad, Siri, so you need to sit in the corner and think about what you done!"

_This is not happening_... "Dora," the teen sighed, "Love. I didn't-"

"That's the rule," she insisted, stomping stubbornly, "Everybody has to follow the rules!"

What felt like a gigantic invisible hand tightened around Sirius's body, and he suddenly found himself being forcibly flung into the nearest corner. More winded than hurt, he slid down the wall and tried not to let shock or fear or pain show on his face.

Dora must've seen something there anyways because she immediately burst into tears and joined him in timeout.

The owl from Mina, of course, chose that moment to arrive, when Sirius more than had his hands full comforting a distraught little metamorph who'd just experienced her first burst of accidental magic.

(He reminded himself to be impressed later, after his ribs stopped aching.)

xxXxx

She'd barely taken three steps inside Hogwarts when Lazarov grabbed her arm and began dragging the girl away. "HEY!" Mina shouted, because (well-liked professor or not) nobody fucking manhandled Mina Lupin. At least not without a fight. "Get the bloody hell off me! What's your fucking problem?!"

Unfortunately, Lazarov was a vampire, and vampires possess rather above-average strength; Mina struggled as much as she could, until she felt her humerus actually creak warningly.

Soon, the professor had thrown the girl into the Defense classroom and locked the door and whirled, black eyes full of cold fury. "Stupid child!" Lazarov snarled, "Do you have any idea vhat you've done?"

Mina glared, rubbing the sting out of her impending bruise as she replied, "How was I supposed to know that beating down Death Eaters could potentially result in being turned into a Ministry lab rat?! One doesn't usually follow the other!"

Lazarov growled. She gave her wand an angry wave, which seemed quite at odds with the soothing scene it created: the standard configuration for Occlumency lessons, desks pushed aside, lights dimmed, squashy cushions arranged on the floor.

That day, there were only two cushions.

"Sit down!" the professor demanded, "Ve have barely a veek to construct at least _basic_ shields! You vill probably need them soon!"

Mina sat, torn between excitement and dread; she had intended to bring up the subject with a shred of subtlety, but the girl appeared to have run out of time. "Um, Professor?" she began, "What's the policy on... y'know... _confidentiality_? I mean, I assume you're going to see quite a bit in my mind, and I don't want-"

Snorting abruptly, Lazarov declared, "You secrets are safe vith me, Lupin. I have little interest in petty rulebreaking."

Vaguely insulted, Mina responded, "Ya... and if my rulebreaking isn't petty at all? If it's more of the... er... _felonious_ variety?" That last thing she needed was for the professor to blab about illegal Animagi, full-moon romps, pot farms, or any of the other less-than-legal ventures in which the Marauders had their hands.

Lazarov stared. Though her cold, pale face seemed mostly impassive, a distinct spark of curiosity made itself apparent. "I do not believe I vill concern myself vith anything short of rape and murder," she answered, voice slow and sincere, "You have my vord. Vill that serve our purposes?"

"Perfectly," Mina sighed in relief.

Shaking her head, obviously trying not to laugh, Lazarov took the opposite seat. She folded her long legs and straightened her slender spine. She took a deep breath and began, as she almost always did, "Clear your mind..."

xxXxx

Lily barely managed to survive a day and a half with her horrid sister's gloating and taunting, snide comments about not wanting to stay in the same house as a drunk or a criminal; their parents, though mildly disapproving, didn't seem willing to put a stop to the behavior, so the redhead decided that returning to Hogwarts was best for everyone. Before she said something she couldn't take back.

Of course, returning to Hogwarts meant placing herself at McGonagall's mercy. The Head of Gryffindor was _not _pleased by their New Year's hijinks; she had sentenced the misbehaved youths to indefinite hard labor doing whatever horrible tasks she and the other professors could dream up.

Slughorn seemed particularly entertained by dooming the Marauders to prep his more disgusting and hazardous ingredients. And, unfortunately, the rest of the culprits got caught in the wake of his vengeance.

"How exactly did Mina get out of this?" Lily coughed, trying not to gag as the atrocious smell of rotten sea slug innards seeped into her every pore.

"Her sentence was temporarily commuted," James explained. He was surreptitiously attempting to plug his nose with wads of bubblegum (which, honestly, couldn't have been _less_ attractive). "Lazarov is helping her construct Occlumency shields. If Mina does end up as a prisoner in the Department of Mysteries, then at least the bastards won't be able to read her mind without resistance."

Lily pouted; this torture was obviously meant for Mina, but of course the girl had managed to escape punishment yet again.

Looking quite green (werewolf senses probably amplifying every horrific smell), Remus argued, "She isn't having an easier time than any of us. If anything, she's suffering through worse. Building Occlumency shields is supposed to be a rather intense experience. One book I read compared it to repeatedly running your head through a laundry mangler."

Lily rolled her eyes and quipped, "I'm sure it can't be that bad."

"We've only seen her once since we got back," James declared, voice a nasally drone, "Just a few minutes outside the kitchens. She was ghostly pale and shaking, and she scarpered as soon as she noticed us. Whatever Lazarov is having her do, it certainly isn't fun or easy."

"Be silent!" Slughorn bellowed, fat feet up on his desk as he watched them work with far too much glee in his eyes, "You are not here to socialize! You are here to reflect on your egregious behavior!"

Though she wanted to argue that the only _egregious_ thing they'd done was leave school grounds without permission—the punishment for which was not usually so severe—Lily kept her head down and returned to her nauseating task. She hoped that McGonagall's rage would abate sooner rather than later.

xxXxx

Protecting one's mind wasn't nearly as simple as envisioning walls, or labyrinths, or vicious traps. Mina had the throbbing headache to prove that a competent Legilimencer could shred through the images like tissue paper and assault whatever lay beyond. No, Occlumency involved... well, the process was once again similar to the Animagus transfiguration: simply wanting to wear the skin of an animal didn't make such a thing happen; a person actually had to tap into primal magical forces and surrender to the beast that was present within.

No mind evolves without natural shields of some sort: consciences, filters, even delusions are all methods of putting the world into an order that makes sense to each individual, means of keeping fragile psyches safe from the ravages of reality. It was those natural shields that an Occlumencer needed to find, touch, haul to the surface, temper in the forge.

Unfortunately, just like learning to become an Animagus, learning to become an Occlumencer involved a lot of trial and error. And quite a lot of pain when you don't get it exactly right.

"Ow," groaned Mina, once more facedown on the unforgiving stone floor. She panted and did her best to battle down the persistent sensation of gut-churning vertigo that always remained after Lazarov was through tap-dancing on her frontal lobe.

The professor's chilly presence loomed overhead. "You are improving," she declared, "You forced me out much faster than before."

Not yet prepared to invite more agony by moving from where she'd collapsed, Mina muttered, "Still can't keep you out. Fucking hell... why do you keep fixating on my bloody childhood?" With a startled wheeze, the girl made sure there were no embarrassing tears soaking her face this time. "It sucked, ok? End of story."

A low, throaty chuckle reverberated around the room and straight through Mina's battered gray matter. "Because you do not vant me to see it, of course," Lazarov explained, "Vhat better vay is there to locate the foundations of your natural shields than to attack the memories they vere most likely created to protect you against?"

Mina wished that didn't make so much sense. The very last thing she ever wanted to do was relive one second of her mother's pathetic excuse for parenting.

"Your childhood is also vhere you suffer the memory gaps," the vampire continued, "Discovering vhat the gaps contain vill allow us to determine if you blocked these events yourself or if they are the result of outside tampering. A veek is probably not long enough to safely bring down such barriers, but leaving foreign magic inside your mind is a risk. If the Unspeakables realize vhat it is, they may be able to exploit it qvite easily."

Coughing weakly, Mina joked, "So I have that to look forward to."

After several minutes, she dug deep and once again found the strength to force her body upright. She swayed on the useless cushion; she tried to clear her mind and mentally prepare for another bout of painful failure.

"_Legilimens_."

In the split second before the spell hit, Mina wanted to protest that she wasn't ready, that it wasn't _fair_, but the girl knew complaints would fall on deaf ears.

The pressure in her ears and behind her eyes reached familiar levels of agony as her professor's chilly presence shoved hard against the inadequate resistance. Mina tried not to lose herself in instinctual terror, tried not to flail uselessly and instead to summon the inate shields hiding somewhere deep inside her consciousness.

Nothing came. And Mina was left alone, sheer stubbornness her only protection from another invasion and-

_Silent communication came easily to the twins. Short head bobs and eyebrow flicks and nose wiggles conveyed an intense conversation that went something like: _

_"How much farther?" _

_"Just a bit." _

_"Are you sure? Last time-" _

_"Last time was your fault. It's just a bit farther."_

_Following alongside the pair of ragged children as they stumbled through the dark woods, Mina breathed in balmy night air and tried become properly oriented in time and space. _

_Her small self and her small brother (no older than four, she suspected) held hands as they walked, their stuffed rucksacks and frayed clothing suggesting the image of Hansel and Gretel lost in the forest. Except there was no trail of breadcrumbs because Remy and Romy never wanted to return to their home._

_Mina... Mina remembered this. It wasn't the first time they tried to run away, but it was the first time... it was... they figured out why they could never leave. Why they always woke back in their beds in the morning._

_They marched along, the phantom children, Mina caught in the replay, Lazarov lurking nearby. Until Remy and Romy stopped in a clearing. The landmarks of a jagged boulder and a flying rowan slotted like puzzle pieces into the recollection._

_Mina remembered this. Though she hadn't just seconds earlier._

_Remy and Romy stopped and had another silent conversation involving only gestures. They argued briefly about who would cross the ward line first; the matter was settled in the age-old tradition of rock-paper-scissors._

_Romy watched nervously, shuffling and chewing her nails as Remy took a step forward. The air rippled and shimmered with tell-tale magic, and her brother froze briefly before turning in a circle, confusion written all over his pale face. _

_"Remy?" the little girl whispered, "Remy? Are you ok?"_

_Staring blankly, not a hint of recognition in those enormous amber eyes, the boy answered, "Who's Remy?... Who're you?" His bottom lip wobbled, kicking off a burst of panic-stricken sobs that seemed blaringly loud in the dark, quiet forest._

_While Mina watched Romy try to soothe her brother, to coax him back across the ward line, Lazarov's voice quietly demanded, "Vhat is this?"_

_If spying on her four-year-old self was unsettling, remembering that the slender vampire was spying on her spying on her four-year-old self was enough to give Mina a prickly case of mental goosebumbs. She turned toward the chilly voice and saw Lazarov skulking in the shadows. A projection of the professor who had forced her to experience the long-forgotten memory._

_"There was something extra in the property wards," Mina explained, shifting her gaze back to the distraught twins. Remy's unscarred skin. Romy's long, tangled hair and the dark bruise on her jaw. Merlin. Were they ever really that tiny? "We kept trying to run away. We'd be near the ward line and then... nothing. It would be morning, and we'd be in our beds. This was how we figured out... well, we didn't really figure out anything at the time, other than that there was magic forcing us to stay. That... that we'd forget our own bloody names the second we crossed that line." Familiar panic coiled in Mina's chest, an utterly, hopelessly trapped feeling that made her want to howl and viciously claw her way to freedom._

_Romy had finally managed to convince Remy to step through the magical shield. The second he did, the boy grew docile, dopey with weariness as he shuffled wordlessly in the direction from which they came._

_Whirling away in disgust, Mina commented, "Our mother was a pitiful witch, and I don't believe for a second that she was capable of doing anything to prevent us from leaving. Let alone that she would've cared enough to try. Someone else wanted us trapped there. And if not trapped then... then unable to remember who we were. Unable to tell anyone or ask for help." She choked, briefly, and swiped at her damp face. "We just wanted help. We were so hungry and scared, and our mother- she wouldn't..."_

_They lapsed once more into uncomfortable silence._

_Lazarov placed an icy hand on Mina's shoulder. Kind but resolute, the vampire murmured, "I vould like to see the night your brother vas bitten. Vould you show me?"_

Mina's cheekbone hit the floor as much needed oxygen hit her lungs. The girl barely had a moment to scramble for non-existent bearings before she heard a loud crash, followed by a very loud outburst of what she assumed was Romanian. What she was fairly sure was profanity.

A dizzy glance toward the source of the commotion revealed her professor collapsed in a rather surprisingly dignified manner, in heap of rubble and broken desks, struggling to stand from beneath a fresh crack in the wall. The deathly white skin of Lazarov's brow had split, though what would've been a gushing head wound in a human merely trickled a clotted, blackish crimson substance. Like gory tar.

"S'rry," slurred Mina. She felt like her own skull had been fired out of a cannon and through a slab of granite.

Though the vampire groaned and did not look at all pleased, she replied, "Do not fret. That vas..." There were several moments of speculative silence. Lazarov rolled and cracked her neck at angles that would've killed a mortal creature. "Perhaps," she mused, "If ve cannot build proper shields in the time left, ve can at least teach you to react violently to intruders."

Mina nodded along, comprehending about one word in three.

"Your magic rises up to protect you," the professor continued, using her wand to seal the pallid gash, "It is instincitive. This is the second time. Before, vith Snape... yes. I think that is vhat ve shall do."

Giggling exhaustedly, almost deliriously, Mina quipped, "If you can't beat 'em, slam their bloody heads against the wall."

xxXxx

The night before the January full moon, Lily returned to the dorm after yet another long day of disgusting drudgery in the dungeons and found Mina asleep in her bed.

And when Lily said _her bed_ she was, unfortunately, referring not to _Mina's bed_ but to _Lily's bed_.

Perplexed and vaguely annoyed, the redhead stared down at the shorter girl. No one had seen her for days and now... she'd stumbled into the wrong bed again, sprawled on her back, arms flung haphazardly, legs dangling off the side of the mattress, sandy hair only half restrained in a trainwreck of a ponytail, jeans unbuttoned and shoved half down her thighs.

Mina seemed to have passed out while trying to undress. The situation was almost comical. Maybe it would've been if Mina were drunk or high. But instead she was chalk white, dark circles surrounding her puffy eyes; she trembled, from cold or perhaps from exhaustion so complete not even unconsciousness could dispel the effects.

With a great sigh and a few lazy wand waves, Lily levitated Mina onto the proper four-poster, in the proper direction, divested her of the jeans before she could get tangled, and draped two heavy quilts over her unresisting form.

Lily should've let that be the end of it. But... Mina just looked so small and helpless. And reaching forward to tuck the blankets more securely around her shivering roommate came as a reflex.

The fist that slammed against Lily's mouth came as a complete surprise.

She had forgotten just how hard Mina could hit.

Woozily, ears ringing, Lily stared up from the floor. She watched Mina sitting up in bed, eyes open but barely, arms tense and ready to lash out again at the slightest provocation. Mina blinked blearily, once, twice. Then, obviously still mostly asleep, she grumbled, "No... no truth..."

Still rather dazed, even more confused, Lily cleared her throat and, despite a swollen, bleeding lip, drawled, "O... k..."

"No truth," Mina repeated. She continued her blank blinking for another second before flopping back into the mattress, immediately curling up and returning to a full slumber.

Lily huffed. She struggled to her unsteady feet and, after fetching a washcloth from the bathroom and pressing it against her sore mouth, set off for the infirmary.

Halfway to the portrait hole, she remembered that the school currently didn't have a nurse, that Mina sodding Lupin had driven Madame Mary away, that a replacement would be taking the train in with the returning students the following afternoon.

_Of course_...

"Lily?"

She turned automatically toward the sound of the voice, not thinking of hiding the injury until it was too late.

James appeared in front of her in an instant. His big hands gently cradled her wounded jaw; hazel eyes full of tenderness and worry, the boy exclaimed, "Bloody hell! What happened? Are you alright?"

"M'fine, James," she answered, doing her best not to wince, "It was an accident. M'fine."

He frowned, disbelieving, like she was silly for thinking that he would accept such a story. He drew his wand.

Cooling relief followed. Granted, healing a split lip wasn't the most complicated of magic, but Lily certainly didn't know how to do it and couldn't help being rather impressed. "Thank you," the redhead murmured, smiling with only the slightest hint of lingering discomfort.

"It might still bruise," James warned. He continued to hold Lily's face as he inspected his work, calloused thumb rubbing back and forth against her bottom lip like he had no idea of the pleasant shivers the action elicited. "I have some salve I can give you if it does. Just let me know, alright?"

Lily nodded, swallowing hard and finding herself rather speechless. They were standing _very_ close.

James smiled back. "So," he said, still forgetting to step away, "Tell me about this accident."

Another swallow. The girl prayed her voice didn't squeak as she declared, "I just... Mina was sleeping in my bed, and I moved her-"

"Ah," he chuckled, adding a sympathetic grimace, "Marauders' First Commandment: _thou shall not wake Sunny_. It's as much for our safety as for her sanity." He finally let Lily go and added, "Learned that the hard way." He must've been a bit flustered because he ruffled his chaotic hair; he hardly did that anymore, at least when Lily was watching.

_Oh, Merlin... I spend a lot of time watching him, don't I?_

Lily stowed those disconcerting thoughts and followed James to the couch. They sat, and almost immediately, the young man worriedly asked, "Did she... y'know... say anything?"

Nodding, Lily explained, "She said _no truth_. Repeated it twice... doesn't make much sense though."

James shrugged. "Usually doesn't," he sighed, "Until after..."

They sat fidgeting in the silence for a few more moments before Lily asked, "How's Remus?"

"Oh," her companion answered, "He's fine. I put him to bed as soon as we got back. I just hope the new nurse will know how to handle him tomorrow. And after the moon." He flashed an endearingly nervous grin. "We don't want Mina driving away another healer, and mistreating her brother is the surest way for that to happen."

Lily rolled her eyes, choosing not to complain that the Lupin James tucked in had been so much better behaved.

xxXxx

The train ride was long. Long and boring. And Sirius had to dutifully listen to Peter bitching about how his mother had repeatedly invited some bachelor neighbor from down the lane to dinner over the holiday. It was a bit tacky; Pete's dad had only been dead for a few months, after all. But constant, shrill whining really wasn't any way to hold Sirius's attention, or to garner his sympathy.

James met them at the station. Just James because, he reported, neither of the twins was in any condition to make the short journey. Not that Mina, weary as she was, would leave her brother's side; in the temporary absence of an official nurse, the little wolf had taken over the infirmary and the pre-moon vigil within.

In the carriage, Mary gave a sad but gentle smile. "Be careful tonight," she ordered, "And don't let Mina hurt herself. Remus's last letter was really worried. He said that Mina's been in Occlumency training almost constantly since they got back from the Ministry. She has to be exhausted by now."

Sirius nodded absently. He didn't need anyone to tell him to take care of Mina, thanks very much. Besides, being around his sister when she was hurt or sick or tired actually made Moony more docile; the werewolf ignored everything and everyone in favor of insistently snuggling the small surly creature.

Someday, the Marauders were going to have to write a book about lycan behavior; their observations just might make the bigots and the mindlessly fearful sit up and take notice.

On the way to the hospital wing, Sirius became aware that they were being followed. Well, not exactly _followed_; more like the person—woman, his heighten senses confirmed—who trailed half a hall behind was simply heading in the same direction but choosing not to approach their group.

Again, Sirius found himself struggling to care. He just wanted to see with his own eyes that Mina was alright. Or at least that there was some way he could make her alright.

However, upon the first step into the dim infirmary, Sirius encountered a situation for which he wasn't entirely prepared: Mina and Remus were cuddled together on a narrow cot near the door. And they were _glowing_.

Just faintly. If the curtains hadn't been drawn over all the wide windows, then he might not have noticed the full-body halos. Matching swirls of muted golds and ambers, streaks of rosy pink and an occasional burst of deep, earthy green.

But that was where the similarities ended. Remus's pale glow had an appearance similar to restless, flickering fire that threatened to become an inferno, pulsing black around the edges and around his heart; Mina's glow seemed more... crystalline. Almost jeweled, with only small flecks of scattered black. It also seemed more... rigid and... cracked in random places. Splintered. Like the slightest touch could just _shatter_ her.

Sirius stared. And jumped sky high when the door slammed and locked behind him, sealing his companions out and nearly separating the poor lad from his much beloved right buttock.

_Bloody fucking hell_-

"You are early," remarked a cold, familiar voice. Its owner stepped out of a shadow and stood over the twins; Lazarov continued to frown down at them, a curtain of ebony hair obscuring her bony face as she lazily waved her wand over their slumbering heads.

The ethereal glow intensified for a moment, long enough for Sirius to see that, although the clouds of color mostly matched, although they seemed to reach for each other almost desperately, a bright white barrier kept them from touching.

Without warning, the glow vanished; the dim room grew dark. "Hmm," Lazarov murmured, "Interesting."

"What'd you-" Sirius spluttered (doing his level best not to panic at the thought of being locked in a dark room with a vampire). "Why- What _was_ that?"

Lazarov made a sound of disgust, her sneer exposing a glint of fangs. "Really," she complained, "Are you taught _nothing_ in this wretched country?" At Sirius's obvious confusion, the slender woman crossed her arms and sighed, "I vas merely examining their auras."

Sirius blinked. "Their... auras?" _Sweet mother of Merlin. Sunny and Moony have pink auras... I am going to tease them until they disembowel me..._

"Correct," said Lazarov. She glided around the cot and closer to Sirius, beckoning him to follow into the vacant, blessedly well-lit nurse's office.

He took the visitor chair on one side of the empty desk and, still quite stunned, accepted a cup of rich, exotic tea when it was offered.

Lazarov sat stiffly, posture perfect and arms crossed. And then, bluntly, she demanded, "You are the dog, yes?"

Sirius came very close to spitting hot beverage all over the brusque professor, thankfully managing to merely dribble burning liquid all over his lap instead. _Ow. Ow. Ow... At least a scalded cock is better than what Lazarov probably would've done to me... Ow. Ow. Ow..._ "W-What?" he stammered, once he could breathe somewhat normally and his eyes no longer watered in pain.

"The dog," she sighed, clearly annoyed at having to repeat herself, "Or is it a grim? Vhat ridiculous name do they call your form? _Paddy-feet_?"

A few facts that had already been present in Sirius's mind met and solidified into an explanation: though it probably should've, the thought had never even _occurred_ to him that Occlumency training might let the Animagi out of the bag.

"Er..." the young man drawled, abandoning the traitorous tea in favor of deftly drying his sodden jeans and tender lap, "I... I suppose there's no point in denying anything?"

The vampire's expression clearly replied_ of course not, you complete waste of myelin._

(It was a very nuanced, very hurtful expression.)

Struggling against a wave of impending petulance, Sirius muttered, "Mina insists I'm just a rather large dog, though the resemblance to the grim does come in handy... You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"

She snorted. "I shall congratulate you on not mutiliating yourselves toying vith magic you vere too young to properly understand," the vampire declared, almost teasing, "And leave it at that." She seemed to fight off a smirk before adding, "Although I have no doubt that Minerva's reaction vould be _qvite_ amusing."

Sirius shivered at the very thought of his stern Head of House discovering what they'd done. Sure, she'd be proud as hell, but that wouldn't save them from the bollocking of a lifetime.

"I vould like to speak vith your uncle," Lazarov declared as she primly sipped her own drink (which, Sirius realized with a start, had a distinctly more reddish tinge than his). "Is it possible to summon him to the school tonight?"

The request was... unexpected. "Why-"

"Someone needs to answer for vhat vas done to those children," Lazarov announced. Her visage turned cold again. Dangerous. "This _Joy_, she is my first choice from vhich to gather information, but it appears as though your uncle is the next best option."

Sirius nodded, though he argued, "Uncle Alphie doesn't... he doesn't know anything. He doesn't know where she is or what she did. She disappeared, and-"

"Do you understand vhat an aura is?" Lazarov sipped her blood-spiked tea. "Vhat it represents?"

A negative gesture did nothing to endear him to the demanding vampire.

Hissing her soft displeasure, Lazarov explained, "The aura is a visible manifestation of the soul. Not the soul itself but the... eh... energies that it exudes at any particular moment. Most beings cannot see them vithout magical aide."

Sirius nodded. He didn't know what else to do.

"I have examined Miss Lupin's aura several times," the professor continued, "Vhat you vitnessed is her aura at rest, energy depleted by intense mental exercises. Vhen it is more energized, it appears... molten and _very _bright. The extreme shift is odd... but at the moment, her brother's aura is also depleted, for reasons you are already avare."

Another unpleasant thought clicked through Sirius's jumbled brain. "Those black spots-"

Lazarov agreed with a sharp nod. "The curse he bears, correct."

"But Mina has them, too-"

"Vhich I assume is the reason their souls vere split."

He _really_ didn't know how to respond to that.

With another patronizing sigh, sounding sort of like she was reading from an encyclopedia entry, the vampire drawled, "Tvins or other multiples sometimes are born vith linked souls. The phenomenon is vell-known, certainly more common in identicals but not entirely unheard of in fraternals. All it means is that they share a certain degree of emotional attunement. Occasionally even a private langvage or a hint of telepathy. Most pairs outgrow it before they leave childhood, as individual personalities develop and deviate and they feel secure enough in their circumstances to release each other."

Sirius nodded. Again.

"Unfortunately," Lazarov grumbled, "Linked tvins who vere abused in their childhood likely vould have bonded even more deeply, so deeply that a dark curse attached to the soul of one might easily infect the other. Someone probably vell meaning but _incredibly stupid_ took it upon his- or herself to slice the souls apart and block them from each other before too much of a spread could occur."

Slowly processing more of the odd and upsetting information, Sirius wondered, "Isn't that a good thing?" Remus's worst nightmare was passing his curse to anybody else, especially to Mina.

Lazarov rolled her dark, dead eyes and snapped, "No! Of course not! Splitting tvin souls hasn't been routinely performed in centuries, because the procedure is vell-known to be harmful under even normal circumstances! The proper treatment vould have been to allow the natural separation of the two souls! Vith sufficient abuse counseling and loving reassurance in a stable home, the abnormally deep bond most likely vould have receded, taking the curse vith it. Lycanthropy is passed solely through a verevolf's bite. The infection in this case vould have been more... eh... energy spillover. Volfish tendencies vithout actual transformation. And it vould have been _reversible_." She huffed and poured herself more tea, adding a vial of syrupy red liquid. "Forcing the souls apart merely trapped dark energies inside Mina _and_ cutoff probably the only source of comfort and support both children had."

Sirius swallowed thickly. He did his absolute best not to imagine his two best friends being ripped away form each other at a spiritual level, small and terrified and suddenly even more alone than they were accustomed, both poisoned by darkness...

Ya. Someone _was_ going to answer for that. "I..." he cleared his throat, "Uncle Alphie gave me his floo address. I can-"

With a wave of Lazarov's wand, the stones of the nearest wall rearranged themselves into a squat fireplace.

xxXxx

Mina woke, reluctantly, to an argument-in-progress between Lazarov and someone who didn't think that the icy professor should have sealed the hospital wing, especially against a healer, for any possible reason.

Grumbling, the girl rolled over and curled tighter against her brother's side. It was no use though. The usual messages from her body—_you're not exhausted to the point of near death, so you're perfectly fine, now get the fuck up_—made their annoying appearance.

"Mina?"

She sighed, awake but unwilling to open her eyes. "Mac. How was the rest of your holiday? No arrests without me, I hope?"

Her friend's warm yet exasperated chuckle was a welcomed sound. "Wouldn't dream of it," Mary murmured, "And, yes, very enjoyable. Don't make any plans for Easter. My family wants everyone to come stay with us. There are a lot of free quidditch tickets hanging in the balance."

Remembering that she'd be seventeen by then and could do _whatever the fucking hell she pleased_, Mina tried not to smirk. "Sounds fun," she yawned, "Famous cousins and all? I'm honored."

Mary snorted. "Don't be. I'm sure my famous cousins just want to grill you to hell and back."

Returning the snort, Mina countered, "Only Sirius's family gets to do that. And only the ones I like. And only because I like him enough to put up with it."

With a painful jolt, reality slammed against consciousness, and Mina realized that she had no idea of the time. Remus remaining asleep and human beside her was a good sign, but she really needed to make sure that he-

"Hello, dear." The voice was friendly but unfamiliar, and the very last thing Mina needed at the moment was unfamiliar friendliness. "Oh, no," it insisted, closing in quickly, "Don't move about until I've seen to you. How are you feeling?"

Mina flinched away from the questing hands and foreign magic that she expected to follow the saccharine concern... but the girl found herself surprisingly unmolested. "I'm fine," she insisted, turning to glare at whoever was responsible for her current irritation.

_New nurse_, her mind helpfully supplied as her gaze raked over the short older woman, whose neat gray bun and soft blue eyes and kind, doting smile spoke of warmth and confidence. And misguided naivete.

"Mhmm," the woman hummed, bustling around the cot and deftly flicking off a full array of diagnostic spells, "Well, I'm Madame Pomfrey. And I can see that you will be fine, as soon as we get some Pepper-Up and a decent meal in you. Honestly, dear, whatever you've been doing, do less of it, alright?" Turning her attention and spells to Remus, she blithely added, "Unless you're really that eager to spend more time in my care."

Mina glowered hotly. And then she began interrogating the woman about her credentials and qualifications and why on Earth they should bother trusting her with Remus's health.

Pomfrey seemed to take the verbal assault in stride. She answered when appropriate but ignored Mina when any of her questions deliberately crossed the line.

It was _annoying_.

Soon enough, they had Remus awake, groggy and uncomfortable but ready to be shepherded to the Shack.

Before she left with him, Madame Pomfrey threw a stern look at the vampire skulking in the shadowed corners of the now bright room. She warned, "And I had _better not_ get back here to find that _someone _has locked me out of my own ward again! Honestly! The _nerve_!"

"I hate her," Mina complained. She yawned into Sirius's neck, grateful that Lazarov had allowed for a training break in order to deal with the full moon and everything surrounding it.

"She seems nice," James and Mary both insisted, sharing bemused smiles at the echo.

Snorting, Mina argued, "_Hate her_."

Mary tutted and rolled her eyes. "That's what you say about nearly everyone you meet," she chuckled. After delivering a playful nudge, the statuesque keeper teased, "Grump."

Mina stuck out her tongue, refusing to dignify that with a response. Instead, she curled closer to Sirius and relaxed into his warm arms.

xxXxx

If she lived to be a thousand, Lily would never get used to the sight of James returning from a full moon covered in blood.

She was up off the common room couch in an instant, nearly knocking Mary's snoozing body to the floor. "Oh, James," the redhead gasped, hovering and fluttering uselessly, "Is that- Are you- What-"

The bespectacled lad answered with a tired but genuine smile. "It's nothing to worry about," he reported, "Really. Not my blood. Not anyone else's either." He diverted his nervous fingers at the last minute, squeezing his neck instead of tugging at his ridiculous hair. "There was this... uh... this squirrel-"

"Suicidal squirrel!" Mina declared, laughing inanely against her boyfriend's sturdy chest. They, too, were splattered with crimson stains, though not quite as severely. "Damn stupid thing just... just wandered right up to Moony and took a swipe at him! Can you believe that? Little fuzz ball actually picked a fight with-" She collapsed into giggles, momentarily unable to finish the thought.

Lily blinked. "He killed a _squirrel_?"

Adding another loud yet weary cackle, Mina responded, "He _pulverized_ a squirrel! And then he spent the rest of the night playing with it, tossing the moronic runt around like... like a damn... like a..." She snorted and snickered so hard she had to struggle to breathe. "Oh, hell! I don't even know what it was like! Funniest fucking thing I've seen in _ages_!"

Lily imaged a ferocious werewolf using a fluffy little squirrel corpse as a macabre toy; she failed to find the humor.

Sirius bent at the waist and scooped the giggling girl right off her feet. "So we're the giddy sort of exhausted today," he remarked, nuzzling affectionately, "C'mon, love. I need something sexy to snuggle while I fall asleep."

Melting into the embrace, flinging her arms around his broad shoulders, Mina continued to laugh like _mental patient_ as she was carried up the boys' stairs.

Lily resisted the urge to throw a tantrum. She and Mary had been up most of the night fretting, and the Marauders just... just waltz right back in, blood drenched and _laughing_, with stories about suicidal rodents, and-

She blinked in surprise as James's large warm hand curled around her own and squeezed gently.

Flashing that cocky smirk, the lanky teen murmured, "You don't have to worry, Lily. Everything is fine. The moon went about as well as it ever does. Thanks for waiting up. You didn't have to."

The mother of all blushes set her face on fire.

Before anyone could pay too much notice to the ridiculous display, the portrait hole opened once more to admit their enigmatic Defense professor. Lazarov scowled at the assembled students before demanding, "Your night progressed vithout incident?"

The remaining Marauders floundered for a moment, clearly not used to having any adults know that they ran with a werewolf, let alone check up on them afterward. But, as Mina and Sirius had informed them much earlier, Occlumency training came with some inconvenient side-effects.

"Er," James spoke up, squeezing Lily's hand one more time before letting go, "Yes, ma'am. Just fine." He pinked a bit, tugging anxiously at his blood-stained clothing. "This isn't... It's not ours. There was a squirrel. We just waited too long to clean it."

Lazarov arched a thin eyebrow. "I am qvite avare of the blood's origin," she drawled, almost sounding amused, "I vould be a fairly poor example of my species if I vere not." Dark gaze still locked with James's, the vampire produced a folded newspaper and thwacked it into the nearest set of hands.

That dubious honor went to Peter Pettigrew, who trembled faint at being shown any smidgen of attention by the woman. He slowly and carefully unfolded the paper, slowly scanning the headline before paling considerably. "There were four werewolf attacks last night," he announced shakily, "Four different locations. Small villages. A-At least twenty fatalities."

"Expect increased hostilities toward lycans," Lazarov murmured, "Expect persecution and unjust legislation. If Remus is registered, expect him to be exposed." She whirled around and strode back toward the exit. "Just thought you should know."

xxxxxxxxxx

Well, sort of a mini-cliffhanger. This sort of thing was bound to happen sooner or later...

I currently get paid in reviews. Just keep that in mind ;)

(Although if you're going to ask questions or make comments that require responses, it's probably best not to review as a guest. That just perplexes me...)


End file.
